- 5/22/2025
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00:00The Mix. The only state, country, government mandated podcast. The anti-woke shit that
00:10they don't show on the mainstream Jew media. I mean, let's get it. They'll say it's your
00:15greatest podcast. As you know, we're setting up like, you know, a pleasure squad like they
00:23do in Kim Jong-un with all that Asian shit, you know, with this BS North Korea BS, no,
00:30big-ass dictatorship shit, you know. We're setting up like one of them pleasure squads.
00:35Just like the NFL, we're doing a draft, you know, whatever that thing goes, you know. I don't watch
00:42any of the guild games anymore. All them games are rigged. After Brady won that many Super Bowls,
00:46I know it was rigged. Anyway, we're doing our draft, pleasure squad draft, you know.
00:51Me and the homies, we got some booze on the way. We better drop some spicy draft picks.
00:56And on that most of them, you know, picks, this is real because Doof, he owns everything. He's
01:03like, we do have everything. It's like, if you're picked, you're there, you sing a joke.
01:09Let's get with it, whatever. The first pick in the Doofenshmirtz draft, Doofenshmirtz's franchise
01:14is proud to select or not frame that. I mean, pleasure squad, pleasure squad. Yeah. Doofenshmirtz
01:21squad is proud to select Margot Robbie. If you like, women were like 2 million years old,
01:26then I guess that's your pick. Dude, come on. You're going to pick someone who wasn't from
01:31the Jurassic period, Doof. I mean, all we fucking bimbos are really fucking dinos,
01:36you know what I'm saying? I mean, bro, Margot Robbie? Not even the top 10 baddest person in
01:42Barbie. And I can go down the cast, but I doubt you want to hear. Whatever. Whatever, Doof. Safe.
01:50Predictable. Boring. You want to know my pick? Dig up that woman who was in, uh, uh, fuck,
02:02what is that? I, Carly, dig up that woman. If she has a kid, I want them in the squad.
02:11Pull that off right now. Delay of a kid. I'm going to pull it up. I'm searching it.
02:18Oh yeah. Let's see. Uh, I currently address kids. Jenna McCurry. Oh yeah. She wrote a book. I saw
02:29that at Barnes and Noble the other day. I didn't read it though. Cause it looks stupid. Personal
02:34life. She dating a basketball player. Huh? I don't want her. Nevermind. I'll pick someone better.
02:42Michael Jordan. Why would you ever do that? Why would you pick a male? And even that a chimp
02:50as your baby. After you were flaming me for picking a certified dime piece. I remember
02:57that legacy draft like Margot Robbie. You're flaming me. And if you pick Michael Jordan,
03:04like the memes, like who was your president? Um, Michael Jordan. By the way, whoever made that
03:10video, hi, you're getting executed tomorrow. Oh, we're evil indeed. But we're enjoying it.
03:16Oh, well, as the most dignified member of the group, I am the one who has the most
03:21sophisticated and advanced picks. Now you might not understand my little thinking,
03:27but let me relate this. In a 2D space, you could see a square and think, oh, I can never escape.
03:33But once you add a third dimension, then you think, oh, I can just step out of the square.
03:37And now you're in 3D planes and you think, oh, there's no way out of a square. Well,
03:42let me tell you something different. I can see in time, I can perceive four dimensions.
03:48Hence why my picks are more irregular. Someone might find it a bit unorthodox, what I have to
03:55say, and some might find it even crazy. Now, before I have a good pick, I must inform you guys
04:03that whatever happens, happens. And I am in charge of food and supply. So if you guys don't
04:09like it, then you're going hungry. And if anyone in that family doesn't like it, well, too bad,
04:15because you're in my fourth dimensional reasoning and spatial logic and confirming
04:20and the minutiae and the freaking plantus peanuts of it all. Well, my pick, and this might be a
04:27crazy one because it is just the first round. So you're thinking, oh, I could go for a sleeper
04:31pick later on and pick some main targets out of the way, like some sort of Sophie Reign pick,
04:36which is a horrible pick if they won't ever catch any ninja's pick on her. Oh,
04:40I'm going to start jerking off. Bye. My first pick in the overall draft will in fact be with me.
04:53My son, Ollie. This nigger is always on that pido shit. Fucking what niggay? You fucking white boys
05:00always tryna fuck kids. Ask me bout dat again. At me with that shit niggay. What's good,
05:06you'll know Legos. I remember back in 0-9 I was in prison and I had these Legos. I bought them
05:13off some white boy named Michael McDonald. Holl up. I think he might have got out. I was out in 2013
05:20that kid had been in since 2001. Shit he might have hit a dude with his car. Shit was a busted
05:27Ford, maybe a Chevy. I don't really know. So anyways, I think he out at jail. Hey, Lil Mac,
05:34if you out of the cell, holla at us. Hit my phone on WhatsApp. Anyways, they had this Lego set.
05:40I think it was Star Wars. Okay, Star Wars. So they had the scene where Jabba is having a sail barge
05:47and he got Leia as a captive and she was bad as fuck. Anyways, I pick Riley Reid. Oh, you guys
05:55thinkers are wolf. Now my next pick is gonna be shit. I really should've chatted to the list.
06:02You know, we are taking 11 people each. Well,
06:09well,
06:14I was so... Fuck man, this is difficult. Hold up. Let me check my favorite website.
06:24Popular.
06:30Well,
06:34I'm just rage mating. No, my actual pick shit. Nah, he's dead. I can't pick George Floyd.
06:43Cindy Sweeney. Nah, it's a bit of a waste.
06:46Ah, yes. My second drop-down pick is Marcelo. Who? Another one of them overplayed soccer stars.
06:58I don't care about your picks, Doof. You're picking dudes that straight fucking gay.
07:03I might have picked MJ, but that shit was different, you know. He knew how to play
07:07balls. You know, LeBron, he's from a new generation with fucking bratty loser kids.
07:13Bron ain't lasting five seconds in Jordan's generation. But in these new generation,
07:18there's so many safety procedures. People back in George's generation were getting beaten up.
07:23Bron's generation, they literally trip on their dick and they'll flop. And soccer stars have been
07:29doing that for twin quadrillion years. All they do is run around and trip on their balls and whine
07:34like a bitch. Put any of them sucker stars on a fucking construction site and all of them are
07:41dying. Put, put Ronaldo or that Lion Messi guy. They're dying. Anyway, tough picks. I mean,
07:50yeah. Hey, uh, ah, fuck. How old's that one girl from the Costco guys?
07:58I'm going to Google her cause I don't need any more shorties.
08:03Ashley Costco guys. We're Costco guys. We Google people's ages, Ashley. They got a wiki?
08:11Oh, let me check the main page. We bring the boom information. Oh, that's buddy. 2006.
08:20How's that? 2006. If you were born in 2006, how old are you? 19. A rock. Yay. Yay. Boom. Headshot.
08:35Slam dunk. She's too old. Let me move on. God, you almost had it there. I thought it was still
08:422016 when I'm Victor. Wait, it is 2017 slam dunk. Boom. Headshot. I'm off of work today. Your boy
08:52ain't took no medicine. Yeah. Ashley Costco guys. Bag it and complete it. Unless hold up.
09:00I don't know though. Doofus low. Keep him pissing me off lately.
09:07Should I pick Ashley? You know what Doof? I picked your daughter. Yeah. I picked Vanessa.
09:13You fucking weirdo. I'm going to pick your daughter, but I'm a fucking frightened for it.
09:17I'm a fuck around every piece of furniture you have. So when you go to check some furniture,
09:20you're like, Oh, it's a damn smart theater. And I'm like, Hey, well, what's the damn
09:24your daughter's pussy?
09:28Hey, you're going to be business as hell, bro. We fucking on the car. We fucking in the bar.
09:32No, if you have a bar. Oh, and those photos you got of her as a daughter. I'm just,
09:38no, no, it'll be messed up. Talk about sentimental memories. I pick Vanessa
09:46wherever she is. I haven't seen her in a while. I haven't seen her in a while.
09:53Oh my God, Nazi. You don't know how nice it is to be able to just chill without do for any of
09:58his weird old man friends trying to peck around me. You know, we've been going steady for like
10:03a couple of months at this point, you know, it's a nice and chill. You don't have to say,
10:07I mean, thanks. Yeah. I mean, I ran out. We are in a relationship fair. Like, you know,
10:13I'm not all about talk yet. And I'm over there that make it moves that making hand gestures and
10:20doing anything to feel we type share, you know, I'm a little bit, you know, I'm sure you're aware.
10:26I'm very nice to love, you know, thanks. Don't really bother me too much. You know,
10:32babe, I'd appreciate if you contribute more to conversations. I mean, I thought we really
10:37connected, but I'm starting to feel you don't care about anything. Like being nonchalant isn't that
10:41cool. It's all about respecting women and caring about their feelings. I'm not the average. Oh,
10:46if models and a nonchalant redheads and you don't have dreads, you can't just because you never take
10:51a shower. It doesn't mean you'll get dreads from it with your hair body. Also, you need to go take
10:56a shower. All you've been doing is analyzing the GTA six trailer. White boy, you're in dreads.
11:01You look like kid rock. Fucking come on, Marty. You need to be better at this. I don't want to
11:07have to keep babysitting you to do basic things like take a shower and eat breakfast and fucking
11:13put on your shoes. Come on, stop being such a fucking loser. I hate you. You fucking suck. I
11:18hate you. You're a retard. I'm going to date like fur beginners up the shit. I'd rather date
11:23doofenswirts than you. That's right. Yeah, we like joking. You know, I understand to take lots
11:29of showers. It's good to have communication, even if we are bothering these innocent patrons of this
11:34well endowed establishment that we happen to be partaking in in this fine in these fine post
11:42waking hours of the of the of the midsummer's afternoon, even though we are currently in
11:48like April or May or something. Yes, today, May Day, May 1st. All the kids at school say I'm a
11:55meathead. I mean, firstly, kids at school. My brother at Christ, I'm twenty seven. And next
12:03I'm twenty seven. I'm in the twenty seven club like Kurt Cobain, who I think children. So anyway,
12:09and just like Kurt Cobain, I'm sensitive to raping. You was not brotastic. If I was
12:14one, I'd be capped on raping your ass. It would definitely be hashtag epic fail.
12:19However, I am a good boyfriend like a boy. Sure, sounds cool. Listen, Perry, this is all time
12:26big news. So as I'm sure you're aware, Doof has already set up a player squad, which you're a
12:30part of, but we've already discussed. So before you pleasure, do you have to know something?
12:36He's setting up a second Holocaust. Everyone looks at it. Cavendish has also been trying to
12:40work on a gene that makes that prevents the that prevents the pituitary glands from ever growing.
12:47And it was and puberty. But only for women, as he says, that might need to have something called
12:52big, strong muscles and big, strong penises. Now, naturally, painting puberty we've had for
12:57everyone who isn't him. Because don't get me wrong, I'm very attracted to animals and children,
13:01but the big boobs are needed. I don't want some fucking small titty fucking mommies, bro.
13:07I need big muscle mommies with big, thick thighs. Thick thighs save lives. And how can you be a
13:12fucking muscle mommy if you don't have enough mass to grow muscles? Like, come on, think logic
13:20this year. He's thinking with his penis and not with his brain. So I need you to destroy,
13:25I don't know, whatever their experience are. And maybe suck Cavendish's penis while you're at it.
13:29I'll send Peter the Panda with you, say, you know, just kidding. No, I won't. I already
13:33waited that he didn't. I am not Phineas. I am a Phineas and joy. But in place,
13:39Phineas is currently training with Big Mitch at the Temple of the Edgments.
13:45It's nice that we get to hang out and go to coffee, you know, given the fact that all the
13:49dudes in your sophomore year in high school are always trying to frickin try to hit on you,
13:56trying to take you, trying to steal you away from me, like all that fucking retarded shit.
14:01Right. I'm just kidding. But, you know, it's weird, you know, you know, all those people
14:05watching got you. Meanwhile, I just wait off by the dumpsters after school and we just chilling,
14:10fam. We literally are just hanging out or having a conversation. We're just vibing. We're just
14:16growing. We're just absolutely he took care of. I may have graduated, you know,
14:23for her, but that doesn't really matter to me. You know, I also have a lot of IQ and
14:30my intelligence is not just limited by the fact that I can calculate to.
14:39I don't know how I can do calculations that I had, and I'm a pretty cool guy. You know,
14:44that's why we're together and that's why we'll never. I just realized you're twenty seven.
14:48You graduate. No, four. Man, I'm graduating. Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't run stones of Gaelic
14:57princess. I'm here to save you from that bowel alga. I've traveled many miles to save you.
15:04You're going to come with me. That's a man is manipulating in a weird. I got my back.
15:11Come on. That thought this needs more milk.
15:16Perry, is that you? You may refer, right? You used to have the mega meet, but no,
15:20there's nothing. Could you please mark him? Because he's trying to ruin my date with
15:23Maddie and it's kind of pissing me off. Thanks, Perry. I have been tracking this
15:30fair maiden for ages. I believe she is at this local tavern now. I have already assembled the
15:38power stones of knowledge for a lie. I stand while I was doing my travels in Birmingham.
15:45Now I know what the blessing of the king. I shall claim this fair maiden for myself
15:51and then I will claim my prize. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:56Well, I got too much as Mattias already drafted her to his pleasure squad, along with Sidney
16:03Sweeney and several other fine shots. Well, I might have to claim a row at first as the
16:13Viking knights always claim the spoils of their raids. And of course I've already established
16:21that I have found the new summons stone in the caves of Koopa Doopa Koopa Shoopa.
16:27And I'm going to use it to summon all of Vanessa's, uh, oh no, some shit recording.
16:37Time for the joust.
16:41My dad thought I wanted to be an actor.
16:48Hello, slave. I would like an A5 Wagyu with a side of, um, let's make it truffle fries.
16:56An extra large bottle of red wine, at least $5,000 aged 100 years. And if you don't do that,
17:03I'm going to execute you. So, uh, get my food there. I'm going to say you're a good boy and
17:09you can have your good boy jammies and your vapor. And then I'm gonna rape you. And I see since you're
17:15some nonchalant loser that probably wants to be him. You probably think you're Oppenheimer.
17:19It's as some are aware you're aware that I'm the king. If you just ego me or try to oral form
17:25whatever you kids are doing, I will rape you and I will send you to the public execution
17:30where they just rape you. And fun fact, I'm actually here to collect a prize. See, see,
17:36at my medieval knight squire quiz test, I had to capture my daughter and she just happens to
17:42be over there behind that sign with that weird looking retard put under it. Oh, he's definitely
17:48dead. Oh, now be a good boy and get me my ride.
17:58What'd you say, dude?
18:02Eagle, the king, the emperor. Oh, God, it makes my blood sizzle. But since I'm feeling generous
18:11today, I'm sending you a request. You and Lance are gonna have to find the holy grail
18:19before King Arthur can find it. If you fail, you'll also get a punishment.
18:33What'd you say, dude? Girl, your ex is such an insecure nerd. You know,
18:40at least the type of kids I used to bully. Man, back in 99, we used to shove kids like him in
18:47lockers. I mean, we stopped doing that after that Columbine shooting, but you feel me, right?
18:53Oh, God, it's nice when you just be like together, you know, like, fuck. Oh, fuck.
19:02Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's just nice to be here.
19:10Yeah, I agree. It is a little bit sus to your boyfriend's, uh, that you're, uh.
19:17I double approve of Vanessa's new boyfriend. Secret on it, I am a fucking mammoth cock.
19:25Why aren't you sucking it? Why are you kissing some other dude's ass? His name is Monty.
19:31Which is the son of Agent Monty Pryor. Why would you date him? He's special.
19:35So where are my 25 inches? I checked Monty's belt was in the bathroom.
19:40He is wearing a 1.5. Is he not your lad? How can he not your lad?
19:44Oh, I'm Parva, I'm sweet as swad. You could both hop on with me, or I won't let you off me way.
19:51Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:08Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:10Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:21It's the.
20:28It's the.
20:40It's the.
20:43You know what I was thinking about? And I really don't care what you think,
20:47you know, you feel me? I mean, you're just a peasant. I'm literally the king.
20:50You're not the king. I'm the king. I really own you. I own your hoe. Oh, wait. She's probably a
20:57fucking digital AI chatbot. And guess what? I can offer. I can make her only hate on you
21:02and fucking rape you. I'm going to fucking kill you. I'm going to send you to the Holocaust.
21:06The Holocaust, too, if you read your work, be nonchalant and aren't trying to be right.
21:19Jesus Christ, that song from just saying, oh, fuck, that's horrible.
21:27Your boyfriend is such a fucking retarded piece of shit. Holy shit.
21:33Fuck, I'm better than him. But then again, Adolf Riebler would be better than him.
21:39I'm nothing short. I'm nothing like that, though. I mean, I've only thought of your big ass like
21:44three times during this interaction. You know, I've only reached under the jerk at once and I
21:50stopped myself before the third burst of ejaculation. You're welcome, God, you know,
21:56but I am starting to think, I mean, we've been we've been talking for like a couple of months.
22:01And you've only had sex like never like, come on, let me hear. I don't care if you have trauma
22:06from getting raped. Let me fucking hit. If you don't let me hit, I walk. OK, and me walking out
22:12of your life is horrendous. And as a bonus, I'm going to fucking report you to do. And let's see
22:18what he thinks of his fucking daughter flirting around with some dude. I will fucking report you
22:24to do and he will fucking have you executed. You have to have sex with me, you stupid bitch.
22:30Why don't you want to fuck me? So what exactly do you mean by that? I mean, come on. Everyone
22:36knows the only reason dudes ever equip you to their about this for sexual reasons. I mean,
22:41for Christ's sake, you're not exactly very interesting. I mean, once we get rid of that
22:45rack and I'm starting to notice your flat on the back to why am I even talking to you?
22:51I'm fucking Monty Monogram, nonchalant, extraordinary billionaire playboy.
22:57And unlike my dad, I don't play with boys. I could be fucking waifus, supermodels,
23:03fucking resistance. No, I'm the only someone who is chopped as fuck like a fish, except the fish
23:10might actually have more curves. So, yeah, you're kind of just there for sex. Got a problem with it?
23:16Too bad. That's what pimps do. Excuse me. Who do you think you are, Lancelot?
23:23Number one, you think I'm some tool that'll put thirty miles, but you couldn't feel me
23:28much because I'm five foot seven and eight. I don't care about you. Let's be psych seven.
23:33Also, number one, this year, once you're a little, you think I'm some fucking,
23:37some fucking turd, some fucking whore. For all of you know, I only had sex with 50 men on my pants
23:43and I only am slightly disgustedly turned off by the fact that you don't have more than without
23:48it, at least one million inches, which in my opinion in this modern age is not even
23:53memorabilia. It's like fucking, it's like a fucking you get to come into my house if you
23:57have that. You're six inches. It's genuinely pitiful. You could have five hundred times that
24:03and I won't even look in your direction. You're Lonnie. I sent you a stone and a pair. I'm sure
24:10you think that, oh God, I'm just some random person. But to me, you aren't even a human.
24:17You're like a fun thing to play with. You're like, you're like a play thing. Like, you're lucky I'm
24:22feeling nice today because, you know, you're not the king, I'm the king. Also, I heard you're five
24:28foot one and I'm actually going to fucking cook you now. You're more mighty. I don't like you.
24:36And number two, you have no muscles. You have no dick. I can't even see it from those gray
24:42sweatpants. Hashtag she knows what he's doing. Hashtag hashtag man and woman dominated fields.
24:48Hashtag you're retarded. Hashtag I'm going to kill you. Hashtag I hate you. Hashtag your hairline
24:52looks like you about to have a mohawk. But your dad said no. Your dog looks like Isaac from fucking
24:57Jam and Brimstone. And lastly, I can't even tell where your face goes. Bro, you have a 90 degree
25:03angle on your face. Hell no. Your hoodie makes you out of school. That, and I'm assuming you
25:08had that for the school because you're going to rape a child even though you're in the 50s.
25:13Also, who is trying to keep my calm than you are? I was also just selected in someone's pleasure
25:18squad and they have, and it was Matthias, and I hate to break it to you, but I can confirm it
25:23because he's already shown me a photo of it. Matthias has 1.63 decadesillion inches. Confirmed.
25:34Fuckin' serious. Are you retarded? Like my, uh, Uncle Monty, I mean, my father,
25:40Major Maveram, always told me that women are very retarded, which is like easy to rape them.
25:44But dude, I didn't think you'd be this retarded. Firstly, you're not fucking attractive. You have
25:51no fucking outwardness, no boobs, no ass. You're built like a fucking dude. If I didn't know any
25:57better, I think you're a 12-year-old boy with long hair. And secondly, nonchalant drep. This
26:06chill sweater and some chill sweatpants, and I would have told you this, but I don't give a fuck
26:10since you're a stupid whore. This sweater, for your information, is Balenciaga. The chance are
26:15worth more than your retarded dad makes in five million years. I don't give a fuck if he's a
26:20kitten. I don't give a fuck about the kitten. I am bigger than the kitten. In more ways than one.
26:25As my dick, just to put it in perspective, you know, my dick is officially 50 google inches.
26:32Confirmed. You can look it up. You can reference it. It is so big that it breaks the laws of time
26:37and space and therefore must be kept in a separate pocket dimension. Well, my dick actually only
26:41bears to be six inches, but that's not true. Watch. I couldn't make it come out, but you're
26:46not worthy for that. I'd rather have six of the fucking god and have sex too. You're stupid. I
26:51hate you. Your dad, I raped him. Who are you? Yeah, that's right. He's one bitch. I could make
27:03him come over here and he would give me the tune up. You couldn't turn up anything. Let's go back
27:07with Ferb. I bet you love molesting little boys, you fucking pedophile. I'm not a pedophile. The
27:13last girl I went out with was literally 19 years old. I am not a pedophile, but you are a pedophile,
27:20bitch. I mean, come on. So yeah, I have all the fucking dick. You have no thing on your body that
27:29makes me want to fuck. So, uh, fuck you, whore. I wouldn't have been bothered with tip check
27:33because beyond the odds and I'd expect and see as your dad is behind the inch, I don't think the
27:38fifth, the yoga. He's a goddess. Monty, Monty. You must teach me the edge of maturity. Well,
27:45he just a Mexican. I don't think so. You're not making yourself look retarded. Are you,
27:48are you joking? Are you just? I knew you were telling me what mode is correct? I need to know.
27:55I'm just going to master all four. I can just master the true regiment. I'll be able to get
27:59any hore. I want to, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
28:06That green name, but he got the latest to eat your veggies. Yes, please.
28:08Please. I want to get the cross out of another crisscross.
28:18Sneak on when you're beat, go when you're understanding
28:19Creep going, you gotta put them
28:21Bunk-ass eyes, bro, look at them nose
28:22Wait, you got the sperm whale, big tail, male, male
28:24Big sail, uh, three for free
28:27Two for me, you for one, respect
28:28You got them hands, bro
28:30Wait, you got them hands, bro
28:31You grippin' them, break it to be unique
28:32Once a week, freak
28:34See, uh, clean
28:35Never, uh, took a shower
28:37Never, uh, cheated
28:38Everybody got the blow
28:39Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
28:40Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
28:43Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
28:45The blondes slow, bro
28:46You like blows and shows, half-bro
28:48Could you give me a ticket to Olds, bro
28:49I wanna do it slow, be one of those shows
28:50Where you get a thousand people coming at you
28:51Man, oh, it's literacy out there
28:52And I don't get any solutions
28:53Bro, I don't even try to see what you're made of
28:55Bro, you're just a guitar, bro
28:56You think you're gonna break all the locks, half-bro
28:57No, I think you're gonna be doing something
28:58Oh, man, you're tiny, oh, man, you're shabby
28:59Oh, man, you're mean, oh, man, you're mean, yeah, you're mean
29:00But, uh, let's see if you can do this
29:01I can make your eyes, yeah, yeah, man
29:02I can make your eyes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
29:04I wanna fight, bro
29:05Roll the, roll the, roll the
29:06Cut him off, cut him off
29:06Call the 1-50 fighter for zero
29:09He looks like a highlighter, Jeff
29:10Check that out
29:11Thunderman, Spiderman
29:12Captain Underpants, bro
29:13White's got that stupid-ass hat, bro
29:14Bro, look at Swampy
29:15Rob's army, mad coffee
29:16Bro, look up at the fuckin' past
29:18Steak, cell, bunk
29:19Freestyle gangsta rap, bro
29:20What's with that tail, bro?
29:21He got that waffle crisp
29:22I ain't pale, bro
29:23He got that fuckin'
29:24Sail tail, what's with the flippers, bro
29:26Bro, for that sum, I'm gonna patch you real quick, bro
29:27You run like a fuckin' busy, bro
29:28Like a car won't stand, howdy, bro
29:30Like a fuckin' random lowlife
29:32Sorry, Kanken, you needed that
29:33I'm not in a pleasure squad
29:35Stop
29:36Stop disrespecting me
29:37I, Doof, have come down to say something
29:39Firstly, you people have been terrible subjects
29:42You barely even treated your king with the receptive reserve
29:44So I'm gonna roll out some rules
29:46I'll be announcing the ten Doof Commandments
29:48You'll be able to see them posted later
29:50Pleasure squads are being drafted
29:52If you're a-
29:53You have to fuckin' join
29:56If you refuse to join, you'll be executed
29:59Execution by dick squad, that is
30:01Ha ha ha
30:02If your girl's in the pleasure squad
30:05Better fuckin' hop on Bumble, bro
30:06Cause she's mine
30:08And if you don't like that, I'll rape you
30:11And it won't even be in a way, right
30:12But passionate to it either
30:14Anyway, what else to announce
30:16Oh, yes
30:17Cavendish
30:19Is, uh, your secondary ruler
30:21If you want to be drafted into this pleasure squad
30:22You better listen to that shit
30:23Alright
30:25I am gonna go and announce some laws pretty soon
30:27So I'll see you all
30:29Faggots later
30:30Welcome all of my retarded faggot subjects
30:33I don't want to-
30:34I can include you as all my gods
30:35And I'm the emperor
30:36You're not the king, I'm the king
30:38Okay, well
30:40Me and my associates, Cavendish
30:43Dakota and Matthias Sigliara-san
30:47Have created ten commandments
30:49Now, they couldn't join me
30:50As they are getting ready for the next episode of our podcast
30:53Which will hit shelves soon
30:54And, yes
30:55One of the first commandments
30:56That you guys all have to watch in no time
30:59And you're wondering why we still play this fucking loser
31:01Well, I'm more-
31:01I'm a fucking
31:02Low
31:03Fucking
31:04Like
31:04High get value
31:06Chamomile
31:07Number two, I-
31:08In case you guys forgot
31:09I took down Carl
31:10I saved you all
31:11You know I have a trillion WMDs waiting under the-
31:16Waiting in my dick
31:18Anyways, haha
31:19Moving on
31:19I do have nine million inches
31:20Which is as long as the Earth
31:22Deal, you lad
31:23Number two
31:24Well
31:26I mean, I'm just gonna keep it a buck, brah
31:28What do you want to do, President Obama?
31:30He's-
31:30Blargh, he's brah
31:31Me no wanna miss, Preston
31:33And, okay
31:34Well, let's get-
31:34Let's- let's start with number one
31:36This one
31:37We took turns submitting commandments
31:38And this first one is from my friend, Cavendish
31:40We are now developing a gene
31:43A- a genome
31:44Of editing-
31:44Editing DNA
31:46That will prevent the spreading of a disease he calls
31:50Puberous
31:51Odubu
31:52Sometimes known by its scientific name
31:55Puberty
31:56Now, Cavendish says that he wants to black out
31:58The pituitary and land
32:00Which will prevent puberty
32:01Now, I'm not fully for this
32:03But as long as he only does it for fuckin' ginger
32:05Or something that I don't care
32:07Next up is a commandment submitted by Dakota
32:09Which is that
32:10You must always suck
32:13On the right side of his balls
32:15And not the left side
32:16If sh-
32:17Now it's pretty tight
32:18And Mattias demanded that all new points go directly to him
32:21Before they go to anyone else
32:22And now we have my first commandment
32:24Now I make seven, cause I'm the king
32:26Out of them, to me, they want
32:28Number one doof commandment
32:30Any woman
32:31C-talking at a turd
32:33Will unfortunately be dicked down to death by me
32:36And I'm gonna force their husband to jerk off
32:39And if they don't come
32:41Then their entire bloodline will be executed
32:43Going as far forward as their grandchildren
32:45Or their siblings
32:46Or their cousins
32:47And, uh, commandment number two
32:49Oh
32:50Oh
32:52Ha ha ha ha
32:55Oh
32:56Well, commandment number two is that
32:57If anyone decides to try to kill me
33:00Well then they are gonna get it so far up the fuckin' ass
33:03That they will genuinely beg for it to stop
33:05And then I'm gonna rape them
33:06And now we have commandment number six
33:08Which is
33:09Thou shall not harm thy neighbor
33:12Lest thy wish they neighbor thy them
33:16Commandment number seven
33:18Ha, thank you, there, number seven
33:20Ah, from now on
33:21Everyone will know me as Heinz Doofler
33:24Not
33:25Dr. Heinz Hiller
33:27Doofensht
33:27Or
33:28Or, uh, uh, uh, Adolf Doofler
33:31Or Heinz
33:32Or, uh, Heinz Dr. Diefenshmirtz
33:36I am now Dr. Heinz Doofler
33:38Cavendish is now
33:40Uh, the other guy
33:42Ha ha
33:43Okay
33:44Let's get, let's keep rolling, okay
33:45We don't wanna
33:46Commandment number eight
33:47Thou shall not rape
33:49What thou shall not stick up
33:50What thou cannot stick up their own rectum
33:53Ha ha
33:53Commandment number nine
33:55Uh
33:56Thou shall not pack
33:58Who they shall not crack
34:00Best be said
34:01This means, basically
34:02You can't be beating on someone
34:04Dissing on someone
34:04Fucking on someone
34:06Lest you prepared to crack they guy at
34:08For example
34:09Okay, let's just get to it
34:10Commandment number ten
34:11Thou shall not have bigger dick than Doof
34:15Pretty simple
34:16And finally
34:17Uh, commandment number eleven
34:17And the Monty Fess test
34:18No
34:20Oh, Monty, that Monty guy
34:21Has already asked you about it
34:22Before you asked my name
34:23And finally, the final commandment of Doof
34:26And this support
34:27Anyone?
34:28We are starting up the concentration camps
34:30Alright
34:31And the first group selected from my
34:33Wheel of Minorities is
34:34Might as well, let's spin the wheel
34:35The curve of this gets comprised of
34:37Blacks
34:37Asians
34:38Jews
34:39Indians
34:39And by Indians, I mean
34:40Indians
34:41Who scammed us
34:42To eat dirt and to eat deodorant
34:44Middle Easterners
34:45People from Egypt
34:47Gays
34:48Trannies
34:49And then of course
34:49The two disgusting birds for two
34:50And also people named
34:51Kevandish
34:52And a fuck
34:53You
34:54Oh my lord
34:55Oh my god
34:56Oh my god unfortunately
34:58And the winner is
35:01Oh, well the
35:03Asians
35:06Now, obviously I don't know Spinyetsu
35:08So that'll be on the National Guide's sake, Anaph
35:11Phineas
35:12It appears you've built my temple
35:13Doof is already enacting his global holocaust plans
35:16I will be there shortly
35:18Whenever the next episode comes out
35:21I am prepared
35:22Phineas, you've officially learned all of the arts
35:25Your brother Ferb is a lost cause
35:27You see, I don't know
35:29The creators are getting pumped up the next episode
35:32I mean, it's taken so long to do this one
35:34I mean, almost over a month
35:37Seriously, TNG
35:39Damn, bruh
35:40We slammed in
35:41My fault
35:42Homeslice
35:43My fault, slam
35:44I feel you
35:45Feel what I'm saying, bruh
35:47They took like a turmoil to break before
35:49Pumped out in Star Wars 3
35:50And that shit was ass, bruh
35:53Matthias was ass, bruh
35:55The Resinfall of Paul was pretty good
35:57But then the Draco's Gauntlet was pretty ass
35:59And then all the other episodes were pretty ass, too
36:02We got locked in
36:03Locked out, we're enchant
36:05I'm done with this one, chief
36:07Wait, wait, wait
36:08One more thing
36:09Huh
36:10Big Mitch
36:11Huh
36:121, 2, 3
36:14Big Mitch is out
36:16Peace
36:18I am the demon from the Dark Dimension
36:22The Scourge of Worlds
36:24I kill God and drink his blood
36:27These super-powered individuals are nothing
36:30Now let me send my demons in
36:34I am Damavan Nair
36:37I am a rapist
36:39In 2017
36:40I raped and injured at Disney Studios
36:43Their name was Clyde McDonald
36:46It's confirmed
36:47I did it because I knew I could
36:50I abused my power
36:54I can kill everything
36:55I am not smart
36:58But I am evil
37:00I am a demon
37:02You guys are all next
37:04I will kill you
37:06Maim, reap, and destroy this
37:08Year of Arts
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