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  • 5/20/2025
Gogglebox S25E13
Gogglebox Season 25 Episode 13

#Gogglebox
#ShowMoviesTV



Transcript
00:00Say Bobby, bad. Bobby, bad. Don't do that to Ezra's hair. Bobby, bad. Bobby, bad.
00:11Excuse me, little man. Say there's gonna be trouble. What do we say to Bobby when he makes too much noise?
00:19There's trouble.
00:26This is incriminating, let's listen.
00:28Say it!
00:29What?
00:31What just happened?
00:32He's not being very thanked up with us.
00:37You'd expect this to be like a Hollywood blockbuster.
00:43Just fags, Jane. Just fags.
00:48Who are you in a pirate audience?
00:50Then he's licking your vanilla slice.
00:52Have you got Trump fatigue yet?
00:54No, he's a great disruptor, Mary.
00:57In the week David Attenborough turned 99, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:04David Toleri was offering us loads of money to keep our mouths shut.
01:08Since congratulations to all of you have already won all of the money right now,
01:12quarter of a million pounds to be shared between you.
01:16I'm not trying to pick holes but there's quite a few people there already.
01:19It wouldn't actually be that much money.
01:20It would be enough to be quiet for.
01:23Yeah, true.
01:23All you have to do is not make a noise.
01:26Exactly.
01:26If it's 20 pounds, I'll just shut up.
01:28Absolutely.
01:29Oh, really?
01:32Honesty was the best policy for these singletons on E4.
01:36Jesus Christ.
01:37At the Truth Terrace, you hope to reveal one person's honesty box
01:41and £10,000 is at stake if anyone has lied.
01:45I do white lies, little small white lies.
01:48That's still a lie.
01:49They're not big ones, are they?
01:51That's still a lie.
01:52Okay.
01:53My laughs are like, oh, did you eat today?
01:57No.
01:57Don't eat much.
02:00No, when really I've backed like two burgers already.
02:05And Emma Thompson was having fun with a younger model on Channel 4.
02:09What's the oldest person you've ever done it with?
02:1182.
02:1282?
02:13Yes.
02:1382?
02:14Yeah.
02:1482?
02:15Nancy.
02:18Okay, I'm feeling a bit better now.
02:19Older women struggle to remain.
02:21Today?
02:22Visible.
02:22Is that right, Nancy?
02:23Am I struggling to remain visible?
02:25No, because you're married.
02:27That puts you out of the game.
02:29Married.
02:29You're not in the dating game.
02:31Well, I might be.
02:31You've settled for second best and that's what.
02:34You've made your bed and you'll lie in it.
02:36No, I might not.
02:46Inca Philly.
02:47Oh, we're already in old kids' holidays.
02:49I know.
02:50Oh, I'm going to get one of those plastic bags, you know.
02:53You're not getting a bum bag?
02:54No, not a bum bag.
02:56Dave and his wife Shirley.
02:58And what do you mean bum bag?
02:59Well, are you?
03:00What's the matter with a bum bag?
03:01You've had a bum bag.
03:03I got a bum bag in a suitcase.
03:04Yeah, I know, and you ain't taken it.
03:06I have.
03:06You're not.
03:07I'm telling you, that's where this waiting goes.
03:08You are not putting a bum bag.
03:10That bum bag.
03:11You've got a little compartment for Jane.
03:13She is.
03:13A little compartment for your notes.
03:14Yeah, I know.
03:15And then you can't find nothing because you're always like,
03:18oh, where's that?
03:19Where's my paper?
03:20You can't find nothing in it.
03:22I like pulling it round like you do in the shop,
03:24and they go, that'll be €3.60.
03:26Yeah, I know.
03:28There you go.
03:29There you go.
03:33Back round.
03:34Oh, God.
03:36This week, Dermatol here was keeping quiet about a brand new show.
03:41I hate silence.
03:44I know you don't shut up.
03:45You couldn't be silent if your life didn't end in darkness.
03:48I'm silent when I'm asleep.
03:51Not even then you make a noise.
03:53I've recorded it.
03:55Inside here is a studio audience.
03:58We've given them a quarter of a million pounds for doing absolutely nothing.
04:03That's all right.
04:04When you get on the show.
04:05That sounds very easy.
04:07Yeah, there must be a catch.
04:09Now, we're going to do everything in our power to get it back.
04:12Oh, I see.
04:14But they're not going to let them leave with £250,000 then.
04:17It's going down.
04:18There's a microphone and a camera on every single audience member.
04:22Any time anyone makes a noise, it costs them.
04:25Oh, no.
04:26It's going to be so hard.
04:28God, the pressure.
04:29What about if I had to take a deep breath?
04:31I like taking a deep breath every now and again.
04:34Small noise, five grand.
04:37Big noise.
04:38Oh.
04:41This show would be over in half an hour if I was on it.
04:44I'll give you five grand if you pop down for a bit.
04:48I'd like to watch the show.
04:53You're going like that just recently a lot.
04:55Ooh, ooh, ooh.
04:57Why are you a fucking outlaw?
04:59I just don't think I laugh much.
05:01I'm not a laugh.
05:02You're miserable.
05:03I'm not a laugh.
05:04You are not a laugh.
05:05You are not funny.
05:06No.
05:07I'd be great at this.
05:09Get me on there.
05:13What are these doing in the room then?
05:15They're the green room.
05:16They're the people that are going to perform in front of the audience.
05:19The green room is the only room that's allowed to make a noise.
05:22We will start the game.
05:25In.
05:28No.
05:29Will you just shut up?
05:30Will you stop being silent now?
05:32Two.
05:33One.
05:37Shh.
05:39Five grand.
05:44Shh.
05:49It's good we can stop doing it when we're watching it.
05:52No, you can't.
05:53We're only watching it.
05:58Five grand.
05:59Oh, what?
05:59What was that?
06:00What happened?
06:03Ah!
06:04The Joplin Spiders at them.
06:06What?
06:08It is quite fun, isn't it?
06:10Very impressive.
06:11Oh, the scowls already.
06:14Do you know what I'd do?
06:15I'd nip them in the eye, don't laugh.
06:18Well, you would just scream if you nipped somebody.
06:20Look.
06:21Ow!
06:23You couldn't laugh.
06:23Joanne, any noise there at all?
06:25We had people break already.
06:28Him in the black t-shirt.
06:30What?
06:31Poor old Will.
06:32Oh, Will.
06:34You're not bad.
06:35Something dropped.
06:35They are, uh, they're little spiders.
06:37Let's go.
06:38Wait, that's naughty, but then if it's shush time, it's shush time.
06:41That's unfair.
06:43Do you want me to ask them a question?
06:45He's clearly joking.
06:47There's Santa.
06:49This man is a real killer.
06:51Yeah, the comedians are thinking Will's the man now.
06:53He's the target.
06:54Yeah, he's a fucking liability.
06:56Him, isn't he?
06:57Yeah.
06:58Other accused of bringing money down are included.
07:00Oh.
07:01Oh, my God.
07:02Oh, my God.
07:02Oh, my God.
07:03Oh, my God.
07:04Oh, my God.
07:04Oh, my God.
07:05Oh, my God.
07:05Oh, my God.
07:06Oh, my God.
07:06Oh, my God.
07:07Oh, my God.
07:08Oh, my God.
07:10What's that?
07:11That's a naked woman, isn't it?
07:13Is it?
07:16Naked ladies' tits are better than mine, and she's at least double my age.
07:22Oh, no.
07:24No, no, no.
07:25She's coming closer.
07:26She's coming closer.
07:27I'll be ashamed.
07:28I'll be ashamed.
07:30I'm like, ah.
07:32Here it is.
07:34Please not Will.
07:36Fucking hell.
07:37Oh, God.
07:38Will is finished.
07:38He is finished.
07:39Mr Giggles, shut up.
07:45Oh, 25,000 from the old lady.
07:48This is your worst nightmare.
07:49Just money going down the drain, down the drain, down the drain.
07:52You'd probably be losing money through tears at this point.
07:55Yeah.
07:56Just audible crying.
07:57You'd be so good at this.
07:58I like it.
07:59Yeah, he would.
08:00He's like, you just go into standby mode at any moment.
08:03He's gone.
08:04He's gone.
08:04That's it.
08:07In Leeds.
08:08What were it like spending three whole weeks with Toby?
08:11It were nice.
08:12Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:15He did call me picky and controlling, didn't he?
08:18Yes.
08:18During the three weeks.
08:19Yeah.
08:20But then he proved me right with what I was saying, that he's a slack bastard.
08:25I told mum that he called you picky and controlling, and mum said, good for him.
08:32She is.
08:33This week, the sun was just about to set on another series of this.
08:38Maths is all I talk about at work, literally.
08:41I'm not even joking.
08:42Like, to the point where my boss got fed up of me talking about it on the headsets.
08:47I actually get so...
08:48That he banned any maths talk.
08:49There you go.
08:50You're happy now.
08:51You got your programme on.
08:52It's worth living.
08:56Get in.
08:57Final vows, paddlers.
08:58Here we go.
09:06Oh, look at his face.
09:07He's lit up.
09:12Oh, that face.
09:13She gave like a villain look to the camera.
09:15Something's coming here, don't you think?
09:16Yeah.
09:17Yeah.
09:17Rara and Jack's together at the end, still laughing at ourselves.
09:23Oh.
09:23Oh.
09:23She's must be a smirk.
09:25Jackie, what are you doing?
09:26She's must be a smirk.
09:28Jackie, we were wild, wonderful, and weird as hell.
09:31That I agree with.
09:32Yes.
09:33But...
09:34Boots.
09:34I have to admit.
09:35We always have boots.
09:36Oh my God, I like big boots and I cannot lie.
09:39This is amazing.
09:40When we first moved in, I thought,
09:42oh God, who the hell have I shacked up with?
09:45A high maintenance nightmare?
09:48That's what Toby says about me.
09:51The endless parade of clothing and online shopping,
09:54always patiently giving you my thoughts,
09:56even when asked for the hundredth time.
09:58Hey Ryan, what do you think of this dress?
10:04She's fuming, look at her, look at her.
10:07Why would you say this in your mouth?
10:09After declaring at the last commitment ceremony
10:11that this marriage is worth fighting for,
10:13your behaviour during the final test
10:15undermined it almost completely,
10:17meeting and entertaining another single man.
10:20When they both had the opportunity,
10:22they both went on a date with two different people,
10:24but Jackie actually got her date's number.
10:27To my values, that's the bedrock of disloyalty and disrespect.
10:30Surely he's not going to stay after that.
10:33Sounds like he's finishing it to me.
10:35Right now, I feel we aren't strong enough
10:38to continue this marriage.
10:41Oh my God.
10:42He's going to say you don't.
10:44He's going to say we're through.
10:48I will be walking away from this relationship.
10:52She'll be fuming because she does the dumping,
10:56not the dumpy.
10:57Yeah, she thinks, how dare you dump me?
11:00Yeah.
11:01Do you know what?
11:02Thank God for that,
11:03because that is the best thing for these two.
11:05Yeah.
11:06They're not meant to be together,
11:07this is not a healthy relationship.
11:09It needed to be done, didn't it?
11:10It did.
11:11For that, and for saying I have crazy eyes,
11:15I'm sorry.
11:20I'm sorry.
11:22That's a nervous laugher.
11:24He's fearing for his life.
11:26Yeah, that's the problem.
11:27He's thinking I'm going to have to walk in like,
11:29in a minute here.
11:32Hit me with it.
11:32Ryan.
11:36She said, hit me with it, Ryan.
11:39I can honestly say I gave this experience,
11:42and you, everything I could,
11:45leaving absolutely no stone unturned.
11:48But please don't mistake my meekness for weakness.
11:52Really?
11:52This should be paid for, the agents.
11:54Yeah.
11:54You know, this should be a tasteful.
11:56I'm surprised it's not on dazzling, to be fair.
11:58You crossed the majority of my boundaries,
12:01and your conduct fell well below the standard
12:03of what I'm willing to accept in a marriage.
12:07This sounds freakishly like my job performance review.
12:11If this experiment taught me anything,
12:14it's that you shouldn't try and fix your husband.
12:16You shouldn't try and fix your husband.
12:18You didn't, did you?
12:20You went in with your eyes open.
12:23Well...
12:24There was nothing to fix in those days.
12:26What's there to say?
12:27The fixing came later.
12:28Now it's too late.
12:30I don't want to be spoken over when I try and speak.
12:33Don't what?
12:33I don't want to be spoken over.
12:35Oh, that's like you, Nattie,
12:36when I try and have a conversation with you,
12:38and you say to me, stop heckling.
12:40Yeah.
12:40I was...
12:43I want...
12:47Petty, I like it.
12:49I was always open and willing to listen and fix.
12:52Was you, freak?
12:53So you weren't up to listening to...
12:55Oh, you're lying.
12:56Solved.
12:57It's not me.
12:58Your pride is the problem.
13:00It's not me, it's you.
13:02I mean, he's got a big neck,
13:03but he hasn't got a big head.
13:04Brian, in a world of red flags,
13:06you are the red carpet.
13:12I love that line,
13:12in a world of red flags,
13:14you're the red carpet.
13:15I'm going to use that one.
13:19Can't you just wish him luck, Jackie,
13:20and say, you know, I wish you luck.
13:22Give him a kiss and say goodbye.
13:24She's digging deeper now, isn't she?
13:25She's absolutely belittling him.
13:27Goodbye.
13:30Oh.
13:31Goodbye.
13:33She's so iconic.
13:35She's actually an icon.
13:37She really enjoyed that, Lee.
13:38She enjoyed every bit of it.
13:41So did he, though, Jenny.
13:42He did, yeah, he did.
13:43I think I'd be quite happy
13:46if you were to vow never to have beer again,
13:49and not to scream in a woman's voice
13:52when you want me to come to the table.
13:55Oh, I hate it.
13:58Oh, I hate it.
14:00Always gets you, though, doesn't it?
14:03He didn't know that I could do falsetto.
14:07Frank, me, Frankie, Bally, the Bee Gees,
14:09there's a whole lot of us can do it.
14:19It's Zollie Hall.
14:20Lee, what's the plan for tomorrow?
14:22Why?
14:23The Liz on at half past 12.
14:24Not again.
14:25We were going bra shopping tomorrow.
14:27That's very important, too.
14:28Teresa and her wife, Anita.
14:31I feel that the football is dominating our life
14:33a little more than I expected.
14:35When I married a woman,
14:37I kind of thought I'd be getting away
14:39with this football malarkey.
14:40Oh, no.
14:41No, I realise that.
14:42It's not happening.
14:43I should have put that on me
14:45profile thing on match.com.
14:50No football fans.
14:52Oh, no.
14:54If it's a toss-up between you and the villa, love.
15:00On Friday night,
15:01there was a right royal exclusive on BBC News.
15:05The news is on now.
15:07Yes, it is.
15:08The news.
15:09You like the news?
15:11I wonder what fresh horrors they find
15:14from combing the eight billion people around the globe
15:17to find a bad news story.
15:19In an extraordinary interview tonight,
15:21Prince Harry has spoken candidly
15:23about the breakdown of his relationship
15:25with his father and other members of the royal family.
15:29Oh, here we go.
15:30I heard about it on radio earlier
15:32and thought I'd be dying to watch this.
15:34The prince gave an exclusive interview to the BBC
15:37hours after he lost his legal challenge
15:40about the level of security he receives
15:42when he's in the UK.
15:43He never knows when to stop, does he?
15:46Thing is, though, he's taken it to the courts.
15:48The courts have worked through it all.
15:50They've gone, no, it's fine.
15:52End of story.
15:53His protection, funded by the taxpayer,
15:55was downgraded in 2020
15:58after he stopped being a working royal.
16:00Personally, I would never leave the royal family.
16:03I'm sorry, all the privileges, I'm sticking for life.
16:05Yeah, so.
16:06His argument is that private security
16:09doesn't have the same jurisdiction
16:10as, say, the police or government-provided security.
16:15That's his argument.
16:16It's not that he can't afford private security,
16:18it's the type of security it gives you.
16:20I can't see a world in which I would be bringing
16:24my wife and children back to the UK at this point.
16:26Shit.
16:27I miss the UK.
16:28I miss parts of the UK, of course I do.
16:30We miss you, Harry, to be honest.
16:32You've given us some laughs over the years.
16:34I don't think he misses Birmingham.
16:37Or, like, Manchester, Blackpool.
16:40I think what he misses is Winter Castle.
16:44This, at the heart of it, is a family dispute.
16:47It's just the family rank.
16:48I think we all know that, I know that they don't get on.
16:50Look at the risks, look at the threat, look at the impact.
16:53That if anything was to happen to me, my wife,
16:56or my father's grandchildren,
16:58if anything was to happen to them,
17:00look where the responsibility lies.
17:02Oh.
17:03That's a low blow.
17:04That seems like it would really get his dad, wouldn't it?
17:07Because if I want mum to do something for her,
17:10I'm like, are you going to do this for your grandchild?
17:14But for everybody else, people who have chosen this life
17:17to enter into public office and then leave, get it for life.
17:21Oh, well, then that's not fair, is it?
17:24Yeah, Prime Minister's get it for life, don't they?
17:26If bloody Liz Truss gets it, then Prince Harry should.
17:29Yeah.
17:30I would love reconciliation with my family.
17:33He's definitely going about this the best way.
17:35Yeah.
17:36BBC News, I think.
17:37Drag him over the fucking goal.
17:39Yeah.
17:39I don't know how much longer my father has.
17:42Wow.
17:43Why has he had to say that?
17:44Oh.
17:45He won't speak to me because of this security stuff.
17:47Mum, he won't even speak to him at all.
17:49That's got to be so hurtful, eh?
17:52Yeah.
17:53That his own dad won't juggle him.
17:55I can forgive my family's involvement,
17:58and my father, and my brother, and my stepmother.
18:01Oh, he's given us the tea.
18:02He's given us the people.
18:03He's got to actually ask for them to forgive him as well.
18:07It's got to go both ways.
18:09What I'm struggling to forgive, and what I will probably always
18:12struggle to forgive, is that a decision that was made in 2020
18:18that affects my every single day.
18:21No, I wouldn't either.
18:22It's a tricky one.
18:24But you can't deny, though, that it really
18:25does affect him, isn't it?
18:26Yeah, you can tell that.
18:27Yeah.
18:28That's real.
18:28There's loads more people that were far more famous than him
18:31that have less security than him.
18:33Yeah.
18:34Like, I'd say, like, if Beyonce came here,
18:38she'd need a lot more security than Prince Harry.
18:42Prince Harry is a lot more high profile than Beyonce.
18:46No.
18:47That is not correct.
18:48Yes.
18:49I'm sorry.
18:50He is.
18:50Queen B?
18:51He's probably just in a public house.
18:52She's a queen.
18:53He's just a prince.
18:54Yeah.
18:55Yeah.
18:55Yeah.
18:56Yeah.
18:58In call.
18:59Oh, what am I having?
19:00No, you're not having, no.
19:01Ah.
19:01It's a trick.
19:02I've seen a trick.
19:03Oh, go on then.
19:03Right?
19:04Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
19:07Empty?
19:08Yeah.
19:10Empty, yeah?
19:12Oh, yeah.
19:12Yeah?
19:13Yeah.
19:14Right, watch.
19:16Watch where it is.
19:18Now, if you win, you can have them.
19:19Oh, all right.
19:20Watch where it's going.
19:26Where do you think it is?
19:26There.
19:28Pick it up.
19:34There's fuck all in them.
19:37Oh, yeah.
19:42This week, it was all about telling the truth in this dating show with a difference on E4.
19:48They have to do a lie detector, I think, don't they?
19:51Oh, my God.
19:52I think that's what the honesty box is all about.
19:54And then it comes out whether they're lying or telling the truth.
19:58A lie detector on a dating show is well over due as far as I'm concerned.
20:02This is the honesty box.
20:05Is honesty the best policy?
20:07Not always.
20:08Does Nat need to know how many times I've bumped his car?
20:12No.
20:13Does Nat need to know how many chickens I intend on getting?
20:17It's best you don't.
20:20In the programme, they found another villa with a pool for a bunch of paired up singletons.
20:26I like those cotton.
20:28I was very, very smart before.
20:30Kane and Jessie May, to me, look like a match made in heaven for the dynamic that they've
20:35Yeah.
20:35He's got the no indicator model,
20:38VMs will be out as she drives a Fiat 500.
20:40Yeah.
20:40I'll say them all.
20:41Oh, my God.
20:42Oh, my God.
20:46Oh, the box is calling.
20:48Here's the honesty box, Trump.
20:50It really lets you know it's there, innit?
20:54Drumroll, please.
20:55Dom, you are now entering Trutavia.
20:57Oh, it's a new person.
20:59Who's coming in to mix it up?
21:00Yep.
21:02You guys always do us love, Ireland.
21:03Yeah!
21:07They're pushing each other out.
21:08We're the lads, aren't we?
21:10Move, let me get in first.
21:12What's your usual type?
21:14So, the standard.
21:16Tall, dark and handsome.
21:17Well built.
21:18Well built.
21:18So chicly.
21:19Is that the word?
21:21Clichy.
21:22Clichy.
21:23She said chicly.
21:26Nice smile.
21:27You're telling me.
21:31Oh, look there.
21:32Oh, hey, look at that look.
21:35She's like, yo, that's so like Kane.
21:37Yes, you may look stressed, boy.
21:39Yeah.
21:39I'm not saying that I'm going to fucking go,
21:41but one thing is, that is the type of girl
21:44that I'd date on the outside of.
21:45That's Kane's type of a lady, then.
21:47He's already setting his stall out.
21:49Yeah.
21:49That's the kind of girl I'd date.
21:52Yeah.
21:52Hi.
21:53Hello.
21:53Hello.
21:53Can I come sit with you?
21:54Yeah.
21:55Oh, my God, look at him.
21:55Oh, look at the look.
21:57Oh, yeah.
21:58Oh, yeah.
21:59So, does it change anything, me coming in here?
22:03Oh, wow.
22:03Dom's going straight in.
22:05She's basically saying what you're saying, boys.
22:08I'm a girl's girl.
22:09I'm happy to be, you know, honest with everybody.
22:12Oh, look at her, look at her.
22:14Oh, I feel like Jessie B already knows her future.
22:17Yeah.
22:18Like, she's already panicking.
22:19She's already panicking.
22:20She's like, I'm going to miss my father.
22:23I feel like Dom does want to get to know me.
22:27I mean, who doesn't?
22:28Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
22:31You've got to love that cock showing us, honestly.
22:33Wait, do that face.
22:35Like, there's not been no tests from you or anything.
22:37What's the other four skills?
22:38Come in.
22:39So, that's a mission that Dom's a test.
22:41It's good.
22:42Challenge accepted.
22:45Oh, flirtigator.
22:47Dom's seen that as a challenge.
22:49I don't think I have enough energy to fight for a man, anyway.
22:51Me too.
22:52I just don't see myself doing that.
22:54So much hassle.
22:55I'm like, I don't really want to be like that.
22:57Let's see what you've got in your locker.
23:01That is flirting.
23:03Now, what I'm shocked about here is that the F-boy
23:07that's been covered up with somebody for three days
23:09isn't being loyal.
23:10Yeah, honestly, this is such a revelation.
23:14Yeah, I didn't think I'd see it in my lifetime.
23:16No, that's disgusting.
23:18I didn't expect him to do that.
23:21He's still showing Jussie Mae affection.
23:23Yeah, but is it guilt?
23:24Is it guilt-fection, Mark?
23:25Guilt-fection, yeah, it's guilt-fection.
23:28That's how I hug Mel when I know that I'm eating her ice cream.
23:31To be fair, I don't really think that I'd meet someone like you.
23:34Oh, my God.
23:37I can smell the bullshit.
23:42Snoggington's!
23:44But he wants to look in another girl's locker.
23:46I don't want to look in another girl's locker.
23:48But he wants to look in another girl's locker
23:50and now he's doing this.
23:51How greedy, how gluttonous.
23:53Yes.
24:06A bit later, we heard the red box summoning someone in for a grillie.
24:16It wants Cain.
24:17Cain.
24:18Did you challenge Dom to turn your head?
24:20Yeah, he did.
24:24Everybody's on tenterhooks.
24:26How's it going, sir?
24:27This shit is scary.
24:30Yes.
24:31Oh, there you are.
24:33He's being honest.
24:34Shit, it's done for for him.
24:36Oh, my God.
24:37It's done for.
24:45Yeah, I'm fucking stunning me, mate.
24:48Oh, he's fucked it.
24:49I'm stunning me, mate.
24:51I'd go and push him in the pool if I were Jessica.
24:53I don't need to be embarrassed.
24:54I reckon you do have a little call-off.
24:55I don't need to be embarrassed, I'm not here for it.
24:58It was just for you, man.
24:59I would be though.
25:00Of course.
25:01It's humiliating.
25:02She's not there to be embarrassed.
25:04Well, I'm not being fun of the whole thing's embarrassing, are they?
25:06Yeah.
25:07I think you're missing the whole point of the show.
25:09The whole thing's fucking embarrassing, you know what I mean?
25:12You're all grown-ups.
25:15And then, with him in this.
25:18Yeah.
25:26In Blackpool.
25:27You know, I'm really struggling at the minute
25:29to think of something to do for mine and Paige's anniversary.
25:32Why don't you go on holiday?
25:34Fucking hell.
25:35In four years?
25:37Me and this little sister, Sophie.
25:39The problem that I have in getting something for Paige is, you know,
25:43once you get the girl that's got everything,
25:45I can me.
25:46Pfft. Therapy.
25:53This week, it was a strange little animal that took centre stage on Netflix.
25:58What's a pangolin?
25:59I don't know.
26:00It's ugly.
26:01What?
26:01It's that thing that rolls up in a ball when you pick it up, like an handbag.
26:05What are you on about?
26:06A pangolin.
26:07I don't know what a pangolin is.
26:08It's a rare.
26:08That's why.
26:09You don't know because they're rare?
26:11They're going extinct.
26:16Do you remember David Attenborough's favourite animal?
26:22Yes, I remember him saying that.
26:23Hello, Crumpet.
26:24Hello, darling.
26:25I think Crumpet knows you're talking about animals.
26:27He came to say hello.
26:29Hello.
26:30Hello.
26:32These pangolins, are they going to be all right?
26:34You're not an endangered species and you're quite happy here.
26:39Do you want to have a sit down, Crumpet?
26:41Thanks for coming, Crumpet.
26:42Will you go back to bed?
26:43In the programme, we saw a volunteer pangolin walk a gareth on the way to a rescue mission.
26:49Sting operation has been wielded in town.
26:52That there's a pangolin that the traffickers want to sell.
26:55There they are, look.
26:59Go, go, go, go, go.
27:00It's a pangolin sting.
27:02It's a pangolin sting.
27:08Grab him.
27:08They busted him.
27:09Have a look at it.
27:10Oh, they rescued it.
27:14Look, in a bloody washing basket.
27:20Is that a pangolin?
27:21He looks like an attitude, doesn't he?
27:23They can't run.
27:25They can't bite you.
27:28It's going to be describing me.
27:31You're good.
27:32You're good.
27:32They are just so harmless.
27:35Why would you want to hurt that?
27:37To be fair, I didn't danger other animals just to protect that one.
27:40And after rescuing the pangolin, Gareth introduced it to a brand new home.
27:46There's just so much riding on him being a successful release.
27:50Oh, look at him.
27:52Look at his little legs.
27:54He's got little legs that he could make trousers for.
27:57We want to establish this place as a sanctuary for pangolins.
28:02That is the bizarrest thing I've ever seen.
28:04You don't want to be getting barbecued by an electric fence, do you?
28:08Definitely not.
28:08It gives quite a belt, though.
28:10The one day I was walking and I got distracted for a split second.
28:14Oh, Gareth.
28:15It's like looking after a baby, isn't it?
28:17Like a toddler.
28:18He just made a turn for the fence.
28:21Oh, no.
28:22No.
28:22So I dived backwards to push him away from the fence.
28:26What happened?
28:27I don't know.
28:28I don't know.
28:29I don't know.
28:29I don't know.
28:30I don't know.
28:30I don't know.
28:31I don't know.
28:31I don't know.
28:32I don't know.
28:32I don't know.
28:33I don't know.
28:34Did Gareth get a shock?
28:35The current went through me and I did charge it.
28:41Oh, the poor pangolin.
28:42Is he dead?
28:47Oh, look.
28:48Oh, is it shaking?
28:50He hadn't associated the charge with the fence.
28:53He had associated the charge with me.
28:55Oh, he hates Gareth now, doesn't he?
28:58After the electric fence, it's taken him a long time to forgive me.
29:02Well, I mean, it would.
29:04Are you surprised?
29:06Don't go climbing over the fence like that.
29:08I don't think he understands English, though.
29:10Don't just get off and straight for the fence going,
29:12fuck you, Gareth.
29:12Right, what trouble are you going to get into now?
29:17Rule number one is don't lose the pangolin.
29:19Oh, yeah.
29:20It's a good idea.
29:21Rule number two, make sure you stick to rule number one.
29:25That was trying to give him a little bit more space.
29:28Don't say he's lost the bloody pangolin.
29:30And you've got a tracker on?
29:32Yeah.
29:33But forgetting the telemetry is just such a stupid mistake.
29:36Forgetting the what?
29:37The telemetry.
29:39What's the telemetry?
29:40Well, if you don't understand or forget it, it's a huge mistake, Jane.
29:44You don't know what it is either.
29:46It's not important.
29:46It's just what Gareth says.
29:48If he gets into a certain area and his tags come off,
29:53I might never find him again.
29:55It's a bloody hunt for looking after a pangolin, isn't it?
29:58Oh, yeah.
30:02Oh, he's just clocked in.
30:04Oh, hang on.
30:05Oh, he's clocked in.
30:06Let's go.
30:11Here we go.
30:11What if he runs him over?
30:13That'll be the next thing.
30:18Where is he then?
30:18He might have just needed a breather from you.
30:20You did.
30:25There he is.
30:30Look at him.
30:31Look at him there, living his best life, digging in the muck.
30:34And I think it was in that moment, it was kind of like, he's got this.
30:41Exactly.
30:42You were worrying about, no, Gareth.
30:44Oh, wait, is Gareth letting it go?
30:46No.
30:47No.
30:49He doesn't need me being this helicopter parent watching over him.
30:53I think the pangolin needs some of his own time.
30:56I think Gareth is a bit suffocating.
30:57Gareth needs to give him some space.
31:02He reminds us of my dad.
31:04Gareth looked out there.
31:06To be a walker for a pangolin, that's very special, isn't it?
31:09It's really hard work.
31:10I want something like, I don't know, a slug.
31:14A slug walker?
31:14You'd step on it within a second.
31:16No, be careful.
31:22You know, I've been sorting Gareth.
31:24Yeah.
31:25I found my prom dress.
31:26No way.
31:28Oh, my God.
31:31That's so funny.
31:32See if you can zip it up.
31:36No.
31:36Izzy, it's going to break.
31:37No.
31:38No, I can't.
31:40Please, do it up.
31:41Well, pull it above your ass.
31:44And then pull it down.
31:45And then pull it down, yeah.
31:47Maybe I need my T-shirt off.
31:50That's as far as it'll go up there?
31:52Yeah.
31:52Oh, wait, there we go.
31:53Have you done it all the way up?
31:54Done it all the way up, yeah.
31:56Let's see if we can get it back over my bum.
32:01Oh, my God.
32:05On Friday, a selection of election results were making the headlines on ITV.
32:10I didn't vote in the air.
32:11They couldn't find my voting card.
32:13Oh, I left it up here.
32:14Did you walk out of there?
32:15No.
32:16I didn't even know it was on.
32:17Me neither.
32:18I was driving around and I was thinking,
32:19why does this say polling station everywhere?
32:21This is on TV news at 10 with Juliettingham.
32:27Good evening.
32:28Juliettingham looks like she's castled on a chest,
32:31She does.
32:32She must be in that garden this week.
32:34Reform UK has tonight been celebrating a monumental set of results in local elections.
32:40I mean, this is massive this week, isn't it?
32:41I mean, they have got loads of seats all over the country, though, haven't they?
32:45Which could herald a fundamental change in the political map.
32:49I'm not surprised, but still, it's still nerve-wracking times, isn't it?
32:52People that are voting for reform are stamping their feet and saying,
32:57I've had enough of those two.
32:59That's what they're doing.
33:00Nigel Farage's insurgents are now in power in a string of councils and mayoralties
33:05after virtually wiping out the Conservative vote.
33:08That is crazy.
33:10The main opposition now to Labour is no longer Conservative, it's Reform.
33:15You see?
33:16But they weren't the only ones feeling the pain.
33:18Labour also endured a torrid time at the hands of Reform.
33:22I can understand to some extent Tory losing, but Labour, they've not even had a year yet.
33:27Yeah, winter fuel, isn't it?
33:28I think that that just knocked people the wrong way.
33:30Maybe it's a kick up their behind that Labour need to think,
33:34people aren't happy with us, we've got to sort ourselves out.
33:38We know that what happened overnight is the first step to us going on
33:44and making history by winning the general election of 2029.
33:50You're not going to win the election.
33:51Don't, don't, because it could happen.
33:53We've seen the bollocks that's happened.
33:55I like some of the things he says and there's a lot of sense in what he says
33:58and then there's other things he says I can't get my head around,
34:02but that applies to most politicians.
34:04It's all very well people hating Labour and Tory and voting Reform to punish them,
34:09but what if Reform has no plans?
34:12They're just like complaining in an articulate way.
34:15A glittering Reform success.
34:17Former Tory minister Dame Andrea Jenkins wore the suit.
34:20Well she's dressed up for it, ain't she?
34:21Fucking hell.
34:22That's ain't she?
34:22She's off to have a voyage after this.
34:28That is Benny and Bjorn.
34:29When she became Reform's first mayor for Greater Lincolnshire.
34:33Former Tory, she is.
34:34You will see an end to soft touch Britain.
34:37What does soft touch Britain even mean?
34:39It's a vague sentence.
34:40It's being kind to people.
34:41It's all this left, it's all this left work nonsense,
34:43how else would that have been happening?
34:45I say no to putting people in hotels.
34:48Tents are good enough for France,
34:50they should be good enough for here in Britain.
34:52That is bad.
34:54Did you just hear that?
34:55Did she honestly just say that?
34:57You know what?
34:58And if you feel okay, we'd vote her for that.
35:04Reform has proved it can win elections,
35:06but will they still be partying after they've had a go at collecting bins,
35:10filling in potholes and actually running things?
35:12I just really just couldn't give a toss.
35:16I've got to be honest, I don't really care as much.
35:19Well, that's good news.
35:20Man doing politics A-level.
35:23Got to give a toss.
35:24Brilliant.
35:25Well, everyone's depressed.
35:26Oh, I'm not.
35:27No, but a lot of the population is depressed.
35:30My spinach, Mary, that we had last night.
35:33Yeah, that was life-giving.
35:34That fucked us up, didn't it?
35:36Yeah, it did.
35:44Darby, what's with the white eggs?
35:47My supermarket have moved from brown eggs to pure white eggs.
35:52They're sadikis.
35:54There are none brown indeed.
35:56And if you didn't ask the person, they might think...
36:01Yeah, you're racist.
36:02It's like that, isn't it?
36:03I know why.
36:04Why?
36:05Reform councils, isn't it?
36:09On Friday, there was more morning chitter-chatter on ITV.
36:13Hi, Hugh.
36:14What can we do?
36:14Are you going to watch some telly?
36:16We can have chocolate for breakfast, can't we?
36:18Oh, yeah.
36:18I'm sure I bought that for the kids, that one.
36:20Yeah, you did.
36:21Didn't you?
36:21Didn't you have that?
36:22Extra thick.
36:26Esta mañana, Pedro.
36:28Whatever that is.
36:28Ace this morning, Spanish.
36:30It's always a time waster this morning, isn't it?
36:33We're a nation of crisps lovers, aren't we?
36:36Oh, ever.
36:36You like crisps, don't you?
36:38Who doesn't not like crisps, Hugh?
36:41I love crisps.
36:42I love crisps.
36:44I think hula hoops are nicer.
36:46Hula hoops?
36:47Hula hoops.
36:48Nothing goes better than a pack of crisps with a glass of wine.
36:50Really?
36:50Oh, yeah, you can't beat a crisp and wine, can you?
36:54So here to tell us is the ultimate crisp and wine pairings expert.
36:57There's a crisp and wine pairing expert.
36:58I want that job.
37:00Chris Sommelier, Neil Ridley.
37:02Pardon?
37:02You're a crisp sommelier?
37:04You wouldn't have thought that a crisp and wine sommelier would be called Neil.
37:09One of the key pairings for the book here,
37:11this is a chardonnay with some wonderful ham crisps.
37:15Oh, yeah.
37:17Oh, I like them.
37:20They're good.
37:20Them are M&S.
37:22Tory crisp, but they're nice.
37:23Um, have a little sip of the wine as well.
37:25This chardonnay, this is a big, buttery, zesty chardonnay.
37:28Oh, buttery, zesty, zesty.
37:30I like them words.
37:31Buttery, zesty.
37:32I wouldn't know if I drank a chardonnay or not,
37:34because it all takes the same, doesn't it, that stuff?
37:36I'd rather have a brandy and coke with a packet of smokey beer.
37:39Whatever floats your boat, apparently.
37:41Surely you can get a pair of these.
37:43This is Vina Verde.
37:44It's a Portuguese grape.
37:47Very fresh, very light.
37:49Oh, I'm nervous.
37:51Look at something there.
37:52Chipsticks.
37:54Oh, my God.
37:55I'll be serious.
37:56They do not pair with anything.
37:58It works really well with seafood, um, with crisp salad.
38:02She's dunking.
38:02What are you doing, Alison?
38:05Oh, hang on.
38:06She's dipping that in the wine.
38:07Alison's just used her wine as a dip.
38:09Chipsticks have a lot of crumbs on them.
38:12Actually really nice.
38:13It actually totally works.
38:15It's not a biscuit in a cup of tea, is it?
38:17Not worse than a soggy crisp, is there?
38:19It's like some people dip the chips in the McFlurry.
38:22I just don't get it.
38:23What?
38:23We're going over to a nice red wine.
38:25Yeah, we're getting a bit more serious in flavour, a bit bolder now.
38:28This is what we're into, red wine.
38:31Oh, we're getting deep in it.
38:32You love it, don't you?
38:34We've got Pinot Noir from New Zealand here.
38:37Oh, those truffle crisps are so nice.
38:38I can taste them in my face now.
38:39I feel like I want some right now.
38:41My mouth is watering.
38:42I'm actually salivating.
38:43This is the Michelin star crisp.
38:45These Taurus truffle crisps.
38:47£4.50?
38:49Oh my God, dearer than the bottle of wine.
38:52Honestly, if I was giving £4.50 a bag, they'd be going in our display cabinet.
38:57It's worth it.
38:58£4.50, that is expensive, isn't it?
38:59I know, but it's worth it for what you're going to get.
39:01You don't have to eat them all in one sitting.
39:02They'll last you three days if you've got some self-control.
39:05I don't.
39:06I don't either.
39:07Our final pairing, we're going to have some fizz.
39:09A little bit of joy every day.
39:10Oh, I love fizz, isn't it?
39:12I love skips.
39:15Who'd have thought skips would have made it onto the podium, huh?
39:19An absolute carded classic here.
39:21Melt in the mouth.
39:22I'd be after the skips.
39:23When I got to this point, I'd say, give me the skips.
39:25The wine can move that way.
39:27Skips, come with me.
39:28I'd quite like it.
39:30I'd like him to find me a wine that goes with pork scratchings.
39:33I just love pork scratchings.
39:35I'll tell you what sort of wine you get, four bottles.
39:41Enough London.
39:43I feel like you went to the gym just to prowl.
39:45What?
39:46No, I didn't.
39:46No, you did, you did, you did.
39:47No, I didn't.
39:49Sister Samira and Imani.
39:51Is that why you'd be like...
39:53What the hell?
39:54No, I never.
39:55You're still making shit up.
39:56And then it's me going...
40:01Like, you're supposed to work out.
40:03Don't try and look cute whilst working out.
40:08You actually did this, I never did that.
40:10Yes, you did.
40:13No, I didn't.
40:15On Saturday night,
40:17Emma Thompson was on a voyage of discovery on Channel 4.
40:21Well, we've got a little film to watch tonight, Abs.
40:24And don't be falling asleep, Jenny, please.
40:27Do you know Emma Thompson walks her dog in her park?
40:31Really?
40:31Yes.
40:35Is this Emma in a hotel room?
40:38A stiff drink, I bet that's from the miniature bar.
40:41It'll be about 15 quid for one of those miniatures.
40:46You don't look like that, do you?
40:48Well, me, you look a bit funny.
40:49You look a bit like me, love.
40:50I was going to say that.
40:51I look like that, love.
40:52You do.
40:54I'm knocking at a hotel that's just got room service.
41:02Oh, who is it?
41:04Oh, who is it?
41:04Oh, who is it?
41:05Oh, who is it?
41:05Oh, who is it?
41:06Oh, who is it?
41:06Oh, who is it?
41:07I wasn't knocking on my door.
41:15Good luck to you, Leo Grandy.
41:17Do you think he's Leo Grandy?
41:19100%.
41:22Oh, I'm Leo, you must be Nancy.
41:24Young boy, old lady.
41:26I'm reading between the lines here.
41:28I think this might be a transaction.
41:32Right, guess you're on the cheek.
41:33Oh, sorry, what?
41:35Guess, that would be fine.
41:37Is it Nancy? I don't know. I'm wondering if she's hired him as like an escort or something.
41:49Hey Nancy? Yes? We're gonna have a great time. Okay. Is it Nancy? Are you that?
41:57She's definitely paying him. He's a gigolo slash male escort. I hope that you received um
42:03the contractual payment. Oh the money? The money yes. Sorry I didn't want to be crass and just say
42:09it. What is going on? I don't know. It's all very weird. I mean why is she so nervous if she's paid?
42:14I know yeah. You know get your money's worth. If I pay you know I'll be all over him like a rash
42:20you know. From the moment he walks in. He'd be earning his money I'll put it that way.
42:24So what is your fantasy? Um I wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes.
42:32Move from the bed down to the down to the floor.
42:38I'm not sure you could really class it as a fantasy as such. It's a bit mundane for that.
42:42Okay well what would you most desire? I mean desires are never mundane. He's got the lingo
42:48isn't he? I'm definitely gonna use that. I'm fluttering a little bit. I wouldn't even know
42:54what to answer if somebody asked me that question. That will have never even thought about it.
43:02Many desires? Um
43:07to have sex. What? Yeah. Oh that's disgusting. And I am on board yeah. Anything else? I need to
43:16tell well actually I'd like to tell you something. Okay. Right what do you share? I've never had an
43:20orgasm. What? What's an orgasm?
43:24Whatever it is I don't think women have them do they?
43:31Um and I don't want you to feel bad about it because I won't be faking it. I don't do that
43:35not anymore. Um I made a decision after my husband died never to fake an orgasm again.
43:40We've all done it haven't we? When did he die? We have. Have you faked it before yet? Yes.
43:46Oh why do you want to? Especially when I'm getting up early in the morning.
43:51You have to go to bed early. Um this is your first? Encounter since then yes. In fact if we
43:57do this you will only be the second man I have ever had sex with in my entire life. Jesus ah
44:04just so many torment. You just.
44:13Ah meeting two. Oh well she looks a lot more perky now. She's wearing a lighter shade of beige.
44:19Exactly.
44:24Hello. Hello again. Oh hello again. I quite like him. What escort service does he work for? I want
44:30his number. I um I've got a little bit of feedback and a couple of attainment goals for this time.
44:35Right I see.
44:39I love her.
44:43She is my soul sister. My god. Don't mock me I'm a teacher.
44:48Old habits die hard. What's first in the list? A list. Number one uh I perform oral sex on you.
44:56Okay. Put a tick next to that one if you want. Tick. Number two you perform oral sex on me.
45:02Excellent. Oh yeah. Number three we do a 69. Oh wow.
45:09As auntie Margaret said dinner for two. Wine dined and 69'd. Um four me on top five doggy style.
45:17Right. What? What? That's a normal life. You and a twin.
45:25You want to do it all today?
45:28I think that's just a normal session all that. Oh fuck off Jenny.
45:34All right then. Oh my god. That's good. Good. You want to start with the blowjob? Crack on then.
45:41A blowjob you say.
45:47I wonder how much he is.
45:50500 quid. How much is he? I don't know. Look up Siri. I can't turn my phone off.
45:58Well I'll ring up now. Don't. Who would you ring?
46:02My escort. You don't have the number tab in.