Grosse Pointe Garden Society Season 1 Episode 11
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Mr.. More mutual as long as you have a dog. I'll never have a grandchild. She got rid of Gail
00:05Maybe she also got rid of Molly you still have the gun right then all we need is Tucker to call his old FBI buddies
00:11And they'll run tests
00:14He's in love with my wife
00:31You
00:33Marilyn has got a lot of nerve. It's not that bad. It's table 13. You don't know where that is
00:41Look, this isn't the first time. She's pulled a stunt like this remember our table. It's miles-for-miles
00:46They had to send a search party to refill our great basket exactly exactly
00:50Oh, hey, what about these?
00:53Huh?
00:55They're neon, but yeah, but this is what's here now our rave days are over woman
01:01Look all I'm saying is our daughter-in-law's on the gallic have made it
01:04We deserve better than steerage will be on the dance floor anyway without back of yours now
01:10I don't think so doesn't matter where you sit my dear. It's that you can afford to be there I
01:16Wish that were enough this is gross point. Oh
01:21Hey, what are those look?
01:26I
01:27Think he has these old school. Yeah, but I love them. You should try them on
01:34Maybe I will let's see if they have them in women's. Um
01:47Stitching a quilt is like planting a garden
01:50Just
01:53Like you pull out dead flowers to birth new life
01:56pieces of discarded fabric
01:58Come together to create something beautiful
02:02But why waste your time planting something that'll die when a quilt lasts forever
02:12Lose the succulents Donna no no closer to the bar fundraiser gotta keep people good and drunk while they're gambling
02:20Oh
02:25The hell is pet jet
02:27Private jet for your pet silly my ex-husband donated it. He's an investor. Um well actually uses
02:32Well, not as much as pet jet bet where you can medivac your pet anywhere in the world to a concierge bed
02:38Oh that makes way more sense
02:40You know you should try and win that for that new puppy if yours Alice
02:43Turns out our landlord isn't as dog friendly as we hoped
02:47You lost another for a baby
02:49Oh you poor thing
02:51You've had way too much drama lately. Yeah, that is why tonight is gonna be drama free
02:57That's right. Check your worries with your coats bitches and dance like nobody's watching
03:03Dance like everybody's watching
03:06Here she is
03:14Donna get the steamer
03:17So
03:19What are we looking at here Tom cervix is nice and closed ah perfect for the first trimester will you get out of there
03:26It's not like I haven't seen it before eyes above the equator sir. Don't worry dad
03:31There'll be plenty of ways you can participate
03:34He's not the dad
03:37Sorry
03:39emergency
03:40Hi Pam what I was wondering was if the hotel doesn't have a fitness center, why am I flying out a trainer?
03:51So who's gonna help you with the baby
03:55My housekeeper, well, she works nights. There's literally nothing she won't do for money
04:02And where were you planning on delivery?
04:05Well, I did it in the girl's locker room first time so
04:10I'm open to any and all ideas
04:14So, how did we get here birdie
04:20Okay
04:21So, you know when you're like rushing to lunch and you get in your car and you realize you forgot your sunglasses
04:28And then you debate do I go back inside and be late or do I just went my way through the day and risk a
04:35few extra wrinkles
04:37Uh-huh. Now imagine the sunglasses are my birth control pills
04:49That sounds real it's about as real as it gets I
04:59Know this can all be overwhelming, but I'm here anything you need
05:07Dr. Evans
05:11What am I supposed to do
05:14That one I can't help you with
05:26Should have never picked so many shellfish appetizers. Hey, that's gonna go great. Come on. I'm gonna have Donna pick up some EpiPens
05:34Oh
05:35No, no, no, don't tell me they forgot the props for the photo booth. Julie has to leave by 10
05:41Okay, deep breaths. I'll relieve the babysitter. I
05:45just I
05:47Want tonight to be perfect?
05:53What is it something that could make your night a little less perfect
06:00It's your friend's dog
06:04What if it's good news what if it's bad maybe the bullet doesn't match or it does
06:13What do I do that's not open it but I want to
06:23Personally I'd really gamble that the roulette wheel
06:33I
06:38Don't give it to you man really underestimated you I got fired today. Let's bring back the axe when you're done
06:49What's up, I think we probably both know what's up
06:55Excuse me
06:57You guys still open
07:00Sorry, we're closed tonight for the garden gala. I'll come back tomorrow
07:13So, what do you want an
07:15Apology, you humiliated me in front of the entire firm. You tried to send me to jail now
07:20You're taking my wife too
07:21So what?
07:23You gonna kill me?
07:29I
07:37Just take your kids
07:51With a black Cadillac second from front have a nice evening
08:00Oh
08:03Something yes, please. Thank you. Thank you. Hi good to see you
08:10How was Melanie taught in that table not
08:13Our husband makes all the car mats for the big three. Did he use the same material to make her dress?
08:22Well, here we are not so bad we're at table 13 not anymore
08:29Oh
08:31No one puts Patty in the corner
08:40Well now it's gonna be a night to remember
08:43Oh
08:56Right, oh
09:00Called you earlier to see what time you're gonna get here. Yeah. Yeah, I've just been swamped organizing this auction stuff
09:06Three sessions with a certified life coach. Yeah, I guess it's all it takes to get your life in order
09:13We might need a few more
09:17You look beautiful not so bad yourself under all the dirt
09:22No still can't figure out the bowtie thing
09:31License to kill
09:34I
09:39Was have you been thinking what I've been thinking
09:42Well, it depends on what you've been thinking
09:44Well, what have you been thinking? I think
09:48You should go first
09:50Okay
09:52Mine's about a kiss
09:57It's just I don't know it kind of felt like something more
10:04Maybe
10:07It was just nostalgia
10:10Okay, this is the part where you tell me that I'm crazy I
10:15Can't then put me out of my misery
10:20How
10:22Just tell me how you feel
10:26Hey, hey bud, not if I steal my wife back. Yeah, she's all yours
10:31Let's find her table
10:37Can barely tell it's a rental
10:42Joey
11:00Why
11:04Aren't you betting I
11:07Don't feel very lucky. I take great offense to that. How is this about you?
11:12Find a more fabulous nanny this side of the pot
11:20This just isn't how I pictured doing it as a grown-up, okay, doesn't that hot cop of yours have some skill in this game?
11:30I can't tell Joel not very woke of you. What if he doesn't want it? What if he does?
11:40Well, what if I don't
11:43Then as soon as you plump up we'll send you off to the farm
11:47It's like I'm 16 all over again at least you have more money
11:52Why does the universe keep doing this to me?
11:56Because it's your chance to get it right this time
12:01As
12:03Long as we're bringing the universe into this
12:07Stop red we do this together black fun. You're insane
12:31Ah
12:33That one of your wife's signature cocktails, yeah the Riviera barkeep set me up with the Riviera
12:46It's none of my business, but I saw that dude disrespected earlier
12:50Connor yeah, no one from the kids school not a fan
12:54Can't help himself, I guess
12:57You're not the ticket
12:59Well, we have a complicated relationship
13:03Seems simple to me. What do you mean? I
13:06Should say I've dealt with a lot of threats in my line of work. Okay, we're no different today than when we lived in caves
13:15I mean we are drinking Riviera's
13:18They're growing on me
13:23I'm just saying if someone had laid hands on me like that. They wouldn't find it so funny
13:29Hey, Brett
13:31Hey, look who finally showed up. Welcome to Club Riviera
13:35Have you guys seen Doug?
13:37He didn't come with you
13:39No, she has your nose Gary's eyes
13:42How's he been with everything amazing? Okay, he does the night feeds. He cleans the bottles man owes you
13:50Mm-hmm, which is why he has promised to win me a quilt for our baby room
13:57Well, you know, he's gonna have some stiff competition with who you know, Patty's not gonna just let that go
14:02Why does she want it so bad? Anyway for her grandchild?
14:07You mean her imaginary grandchild?
14:11Amanda come on. She wouldn't make a horrible grandmother. Oh
14:15Stop what no one's in here. It's so me
14:20I'm sorry, but she is so judgy and like totally insecure
14:25She's always been nice to me and she's always acting like she is the queen of gross point
14:31When she's not even from here
14:35What?
14:38Shut up, mm-hmm
14:42Yeah
14:55I
15:14The only way you are getting that quilt is over my dead body
15:25Oh
15:35Donna
15:39The auctions about to start and I have dry mouth
15:42Mm-hmm, Brenda CBS. Give me a blow pop. You know the grape kind with the gum. Mm-hmm
15:48What's new mouth?
15:52Nothing
15:55You tell me I'm not smelling a mushroom tart right now Donna it was just one well eat a prosciutto rack asparagus no one wants those
16:26Knock it off
16:29Son's a psycho get the hell out of here. How could you?
16:38Who knows you better Alice your husband or this joke
16:43Neither of you there's so many big hands on me like that. They wouldn't find it so funny
16:48Just tell me how you feel
16:54Spotted the ocean
16:58The head of the trail
17:02Where
17:06So far away
17:10Somebody told me
17:14This is
17:17Oh
17:25What are you doing Tonya how are you
17:47I
18:05Recognize those curls anywhere
18:07Yeah
18:09Skip hardy WB IV zone
18:14How long has it been
18:17Forever
18:21Oops you have a yeah. Oh, oh, no. Oh gosh. It's like some dill from the end. I
18:29Don't get it. Yeah
18:32Boy do I miss that smile?
18:37Place was never the same after you left. Yeah, it was a fun time
18:48Was another life did you ever think about coming back my age?
18:55Not really built for it anymore well Natasha Mahal's 300 years old once you get inside her so take your breath away
19:08Okay
19:10Well, I'm not exactly camera ready
19:13What does that got to do with getting coffee? Hmm? Why would I get coffee?
19:18Is you were the best assistant at the station?
19:22I was I was the weather girl skip
19:26You sure I was on air town. Okay, okay, okay?
19:29I mean don't you remember and now do you skip for sports right? Yeah, that was me
19:35Me of course wait wait of course yeah, I remember I'm
19:40But uh, why did you keep bringing me coffee?
19:45Okay, I
19:48Stupidly thought you'd appreciate it
19:50Okay, don't freak out. I appreciated everything you had to offer I
19:58Told him no removes, but he added it anyway. It's my wife Brianna
20:05You haven't changed a bit
20:30I put Dougie in it we were thank you
20:35You
20:37He's going up to the lake house to cool his head it's a great idea
20:42Might meet him there tomorrow
20:49Is that it all right everyone
21:05Let's go win you that quilt
21:10Here what is it medicine?
21:16Marilyn's gonna have a stroke how many cups did we lose?
21:20Basically 82 through 93. I am never seen either of them like this
21:27okay, this isn't my most feminist moment, but
21:31Two guys fighting over you is kind of hot. Oh
21:35Okay, that was about way more than you
21:39also
21:41We are fully ignoring the fact that our little lady here. Just got herself a ticket to New York
21:49How many magazines have rejected you over the years, I've lost track
21:55Alice you just got your dream job
22:01This night couldn't get any worse
22:07Babe I've got it. We should brand these like their real housewife
22:14How many of these have you had oh?
22:21You know Alice's husband just went full ham. Yeah. Oh, so you weren't gonna tell him
22:27Tell us what
22:30Oops nothing what doesn't sound like nothing
22:39What did you not tell us not now Alice
22:48You got the results oh
22:51No
22:53No I mean this this isn't what did Patti do it. It's too much for tonight
23:05Just
23:10Up next we have a lovely vacation rental in Charlevoix with a ski package for four at Boyne Mountain plus
23:19dinner at tap
23:23It's right the best time
23:29I lost control. She's good, bro part of me was like defending you sit down
23:45And now the piece de resistance do I hear
23:492,500
23:51Keep in mind. This isn't any old blanket folks each of these squares
23:56depicts a little piece of gross point history ah
24:022,500 for Amanda Mills Thank You Amanda Mills do I hear 3,000
24:123,000 okay, we are just getting started here folks um who wants to take it up a notch Hank Hank
24:18I'm looking at you your wife's face is telling me that you do
24:22There you go 3,000 do I hear?
24:253,500
24:26Okay, put a little sizzle on that steak which was donated tonight by Village Market. Thank you Village
24:334,000 oh okay there you go hot hot hot do I hear
24:394,500
24:48oh
25:18oh
25:34That bitch killed my dog
25:43Sorry man, that's not your car
25:46What are you taking so long? We're really backed up
25:53What the hell are you doing? We got a talk lady?
25:58Doors is coming well tell them to hurry up. It's an emergency
26:09What are you doing going for a ride?
26:16Will you please chill oh cuz you're with child now
26:24What happened to women lifting up other women that's just something women like to say to other women
26:45Oh
26:52So what are you gonna? Do not try to be a mom again?
27:03Get out
27:15Oh, thank God. Sorry ma'am. This isn't your car
27:32Did you enjoy yourself tonight? It's cool. We won those tickets to the Starlight Express revival
27:37I meant did you enjoy making a jackass out of me?
27:40I
27:45Was just a dance Connor didn't dance with me
27:53Am I not supposed to have a relationship with my ex-husband you're not supposed to kiss him
28:01Don't know what you're talking about come on Mel. Why would I I saw you?
28:10How
28:14Put a PI on what for custody for us
28:23But it was right all along I did what I had to do yeah for you
28:30What
28:31What do you want from you Melissa for you to decide?
28:34What's more important your family or winning some pissing contest with my ex-husband
28:47I'm going to a hotel for how long till you decide who you want to dance with
29:01She's a total monster
29:05Didn't just shoot her she dragged her to a park and left her there
29:11Psycho I get but this is next-level. She can't get away with this. She already did. What can we do to her something?
29:18awful hmm
29:20Let's egg her house
29:24I'm not sure that has the same emotional punch takes the paint right off
29:30Someone should sleep with her husband
29:33Winky we film it make it go viral. She can never show her face in gross point ever again
29:40Trust me this town loves a scandal. It's worth a try
29:44Not enough she took away the thing. I love most in the world
29:59We're gonna do the same to her
30:02Oh
30:14What are you doing making a quesadilla at this hour
30:20starving
30:22Dr. Rubenstein said the late-night eating is doing a number on your cholesterol. Hey get off my cheese woman
30:30How about a nightcap
30:32What's that gonna do to my cholesterol I meant make me one
30:46It was a crazy night
30:49Just glad you finally got to see what she's been doing to our son. No wonder Dougie's been so moody
30:55Yeah, I I barely recognize him
30:58Broken heart can change a man
31:01And you know she's she's affecting all of us
31:04Definitely stress. We don't need and I just I don't like the person I've become
31:11Is that why you were flirting with skip Harding tonight
31:24I'm the gala chair. No one can know I had anything to do with this oh
31:28We should rip out all the stitches
31:36Not that I'm endorsing destroying an auction item, but what if we fold it up and cut it into a pattern
31:44Like like paper dolls
31:48Guys we're trying to prank a bitch not do crafts. Yeah, why are you guys think it's so small, huh?
31:58Oh
32:02Expand your horizons
32:06Whatever it is. I already like it 15 horses a gas-powered destruction
32:17Not that I have anything to do with this
32:20Oh
32:24Don't start it yet. What's the point if she's not even here to see it happen?
32:32Quilts in the woods why you just text her oh lord. Oh, I like that idea come on. What do you say?
32:38text her
32:49I
32:57Saw all of us now
33:03Gotta admit still looks good. I wasn't worrying very glossy
33:13Kind of gloss takes a village of surgeons
33:19Do you ever think about him? Yeah, yeah, I think he needs to leave his face alone now
33:26You know what? I mean, Patty
33:28He already can't blink his eyes all the way shut
33:34Do you regret choosing me
33:40How how can you ask me that after all we've been through it's just
33:45Sometimes
33:49I think about the life you could have had without me. Oh, honey. You've had too much to drink
33:58That's not an answer Patty
34:00You
34:13Do you know why I love sitting at that table tonight all of gross point could see you in that quilt
34:23Because I was sitting next to you
34:31I
34:34It's my favorite place to be
34:43Thanks for letting me spend so much money on my quilt well after everything that's happened
34:51Not sure if it's gonna end up in the nursery
34:55And I had a feeling it wasn't
34:58Then why'd you work on it so hard if it wasn't for a grandchild
35:13All that love had to go somewhere
35:28You know what when I get back from the cabin with Dougie let's go away somewhere
35:37Remember the Alaska cruise
35:43What I would give to be smoking a joint on a glacier with you right now
35:51Where we go, I'm not flying coach
35:57I
36:10Might work better if we cut this thing into strips
36:12Why not to do anything if she doesn't touch you back this fabric could jam it up. Why isn't she responding?
36:19It's late, and we should all go home
36:23Okay, okay
36:25Let's take the wood chipper to her house
36:28And then we fire it up, and we wake up the whole goddamn neighborhood and shoot the quilt
36:36Guys come on let's get a grip here. I mean it does attach to the truck
36:56She
37:06Alice stop Keith
37:12What the hell are you doing
37:26Oh
37:31Why are you here? Oh believe me? I wish I was back in my kitchen housing a quesadilla
37:36Keith this isn't your problem when you rage text my wife in the middle of the night. I'm gonna get after just go home
37:45Fine give me the quilt no it's Paddy's
37:51She can't have it they did technically Venmo payment already
37:56Why
37:58Karma what is wrong with you?
38:02Your wife tell him Alice
38:06She's gone way above and beyond to make you a part of our family Alice tell him she's been kind and welcoming and supportive
38:13She murdered Molly
38:21You've all lost your goddamn minds just get out of here mister
38:25Give it to me. No you don't want to do that buddy. Oh
38:29Perfect boy Paddy had one thing right my son can do way better than you me
38:35You go out of your way to embarrass yourself
38:39Doug can do way better than you guys you don't belong in our family and believe me when I tell him what she did to
38:46a beautiful sweet
38:48You don't even belong in gross point
38:55You're right
39:25Oh
39:56Every garden begins with a single seed just like every quilt begins with a single square
40:13Every flower has its own occasion and each square has its own story to tell I'm coming to Paris to kill you
40:22At first you can't see how one goes with the other I am coming to take your life
40:32But when the last flower blooms and the last square is sown and it takes a little time
40:39But you'll feel better about most of these things
40:44Oh, it takes a little time, but you'll feel better about
40:55The big picture finally becomes clear I am coming to Paris to kill you
41:07I am coming
41:09You