- 5/21/2025
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00:00And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the moment you've all been waiting for,
00:31Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week Tonight.
00:34I'm John Oliver, thank you so much for joining us.
00:36It has been a busy week.
00:38Xi Jinping met with Vladimir Putin,
00:40Trump named the world's meanest drunk aunt as interim US Attorney for DC,
00:45and of course, this happened.
00:47From the Vatican, a wholly unexpected announcement.
00:51We have a Pope, an American Pope, Pope Leo XIV from Chicago.
00:57The best headline came from his hometown of Chicago, in true Chicago style, the Pope.
01:03Yeah, we got a Chicago Pope.
01:05Cardinal Robert Prevost is now Pope Leo XIV.
01:09And Chicagoans spent the week excitedly speculating about the little Chicago touches he's going to bring to the paper.
01:15See, from the body of Christ being a Portillo's gravy bread,
01:18to the official stance of the church becoming no ketchup on hot dogs,
01:22but if the kids want it, that's alright.
01:24To the hundreds of jokes about malort being the new sacramental wine at communion.
01:29And if you're not from Chicago and you're thinking, what is malort?
01:32Just know, it's not so much a drink as it is a city-wide hazing ritual.
01:37It's a liquor with the taste, smell, and general vibe of something a Batman villain would spike the water supply with.
01:44And incredibly, the odds are Pope Bob here has actually tried it.
01:49But we're going to focus on the President's ongoing trade war.
01:51Last week, Trump got a lot of attention when he seemed to try and prepare Americans for economic pain by saying this.
01:57Maybe the children will have $2 instead of $30, you know?
02:01And maybe the $2 will cost a couple of bucks more than they would normally.
02:05What a very weird thing to say.
02:08And it's just another snapshot in the chaos album that is Trump having anything to do with children.
02:15Because you can now put, kids will have $2 instead of $30, right up there with the lawn boy scream.
02:22And that time he asked a kid if she believed in Santa Claus because, quote, at seven it's marginal, right?
02:28And when pressed on his comments a few days later, Trump doubled down.
02:32You said, quote, I'm going to quote what you said, maybe the children will have $2 instead of $30.
02:37And maybe the $2 will cost a couple of bucks more than they would normally.
02:41I don't think a beautiful baby girl that's 11 years old needs to have $30.
02:48I think they can have $3 or $4.
02:51Okay, there is so much there.
02:55A beautiful baby girl that's 11 years old.
02:59Don't call an 11-year-old that. First, it's creepy.
03:02And second, I promise, you call an 11-year-old girl a baby, she'll fucking kill you.
03:09But also, to think the prime age for playing with dolls is 11 is almost impressively wrong.
03:15Everyone knows the breakdown of what people play with by age goes blocks from ages 1 to 3,
03:19dolls from ages 3 to 7, and our phones from ages 8 until we die.
03:24And incredibly, on Air Force One, he tripled down.
03:28All I'm saying is that a young lady, 10-year-old girl, 9-year-old girl, 15-year-old girl, doesn't need $37.
03:40She can be very happy with $2 or $3 or $4 or $5.
03:44Every single way this man refers to girls makes my skin want to turn inside out.
03:50That said, I did also want to see him keep going there,
03:54just to see how many variations of ages and numbers he could cycle through.
03:59All I'm saying is a young lady, 10-year-old girl, 9-year-old girl, 15-year-old girl, 45-year-old girl that's still young at heart,
04:05doesn't need $37. She can be very happy with $2 or $3 or $4 or $6 or $8, but also $9 and in its own way $10.
04:13$10 she could be happy with, couldn't she? Or maybe $11. We can't rule out $11.
04:18Or $12. $12 is a good number, isn't it, folks?
04:2012 apostles, 12 days of Christmas, 12 angry men. Henry Fond, a great guy, right?
04:24The other men, very angry, very angry men. That's who we've got to get out of this country that's coming over illegally.
04:29Or you know what? $13, that's my final offer.
04:33So now it appears he thinks that 15-year-old girls are playing with dolls.
04:37Has he ever met a 15-year-old girl? That's a dumb question. Of course he has.
04:41He was friends with Jeffrey Epstein. But the thing is, Jon's actually right.
04:46The toys are about to get more expensive. Mattel, the maker of Barbie, has already said that it plans to raise prices on American toys due to tariffs.
04:54And when Trump was asked about Mattel's CEO claiming toy manufacturing won't come to America, but price hikes will, he had a pretty odd response.
05:03If Mattel, I don't know, I'm not so sure, they also said, they're the only country I've heard they said,
05:09well, we're going to go counter. We're going to try going someplace else. That's okay.
05:12Let him go, and we'll put a 100% tariff on his toys, and he won't sell one toy in the United States, and that's their biggest market.
05:20Okay. Set aside that within the space of a single human sentence, Mattel switched from being a company to a country to a guy.
05:29It seems Trump's about to go to war with them. So you know what this means, kids. Sticks are about to make a comeback.
05:36The stick. Throw it, catch it, set it on fire, just look at it. The stick's the only toy you'll ever need, which is lucky because it's also the only one you'll ever have.
05:46And look, on some level, it makes sense that Trump is framing this around dolls, things that he can pretend are frivolous.
05:53But the fact is, exports to the U.S. have already begun to slow, and that'll soon be felt in the form of higher prices on lots of things.
06:01So if you're wondering, is Trump's stupid trade war about to hurt a lot of people, well, is the Pope Catholic and now also some guy named Bob from Chicago?
06:10The answer is obviously yes. And now, this.
06:15And now, Brian Kilmeade played with dolls, and that's okay.
06:20It's a crew neck. It's like a crew neck for guys.
06:24I had one on my G.I. Joe. You snap it around his neck, it's a little red thing.
06:28Like a mascot.
06:29For a while, it was like, why is Brian playing with dolls? It's a G.I. Joe, it's different.
06:33My dad was a little uncomfortable with me playing what he's called dolls.
06:36And I'm like, listen, they're men.
06:38I love anything G.I. Joe. Kung Fu Grip, Eagle Eye, it all works.
06:42I remember playing with the G.I. Joe's, both Eagle Eye and the Kung Fu Grip.
06:46The only adult toy that you need is Eagle Eye G.I. Joe.
06:49Ken was confusing for my generation.
06:51No.
06:52Yeah, it was confusing. We didn't know, should we play with Ken? Should we put him with the G.I. Joe's?
06:56I tried to get Ken into the G.I. Joe collection as a kid, but that's another story.
07:00You had a G.I. Joe, but you wanted a Ken?
07:02You had a Ken Barbie.
07:03Well, I convinced my parents to get it for me because I thought I could make a man out of it.
07:07I remember getting, borrowing Ken and putting it with my G.I. Joe's, who's the best move ever.
07:11Ken has never been happier.
07:12But a lot of people in the previous generation go, he's playing with dolls.
07:15I'm like, no, this is G.I. Joe.
07:17Poseable action figure.
07:18Exactly.
07:19It's got real hair.
07:20Poseable.
07:21Eagle Eyes, Kung Fu Grip, everything you needed.
07:25It was He-Man too, remember?
07:26Nope.
07:29Moving on. Our main story tonight concerns politics and religion.
07:32The two top answers to the family feud question, name a reason why you don't talk to your dad anymore.
07:37Number one, politics. Number two, religion. Number three, we talk, but do we really talk, you know?
07:45I know that to put it mildly, there has been a lot going on recently, so it's understandable if you missed it.
07:50But last week, a major case concerning politics and religion was argued before the Supreme Court.
07:55The Supreme Court just heard arguments in a potentially landmark case that could open the door to publicly funded religious charter schools.
08:02At the center, St. Isidore of Seville, a proposed Catholic virtual charter school in Oklahoma, planned and operated by the local archdiocese.
08:10The school wants to teach Catholic doctrine while receiving state money, something never before allowed in the charter system.
08:17Yeah, an online school, St. Isidore, is fighting for the right to operate as the first religious charter school in the country,
08:22which is striking for a number of reasons, not least that this is how I'm learning that St. Isidore is often referred to as the patron saint of the internet.
08:30It just feels wrong. I thought patron saints only represented timeless things like the arts or orphans,
08:36not the medium that is now mostly AI slot videos of countries as presidents' twins.
08:43I don't know exactly what saints should be watching over, but that feels like a real waste of their time.
08:50The school refers to itself as a ministry of the Catholic Church, and many worry that if it's allowed to directly receive public funding,
08:56it'll be yet another step on the slippery slope of breaking down the establishment clause, separating church and state.
09:02Now, the Supreme Court isn't likely to rule on this until next month, but I actually want to talk less about this school in particular,
09:08and more about the key group behind this case, the Alliance Defending Freedom, or ADF.
09:13Even if you don't recognize their name, you'll definitely be aware of their work,
09:17because ADF bills itself as the world's largest legal organization advancing every person's God-given right to live and speak the truth.
09:24And in this promotional video celebrating their 25th anniversary, they lean in hard on the idea that they are defenders of rights and freedom.
09:32For 25 years, we've pursued this calling.
09:35We're commissioned to stand, to defend, to persevere, to be a voice for faith, for freedom.
09:47Former Atlanta fire chief Kelvin Cochran wins a victory for his faith.
09:50The U.S. Supreme Court today in one of the most closely watched cases of the term, sided with a Colorado baker.
09:56Jack, this has been a long road for you. It started back in 2012 yesterday.
10:00Religious freedom is a pre-political right that rests securely in our dignity as human beings.
10:05It belongs to all of us.
10:08Okay. Although, I do have a bit of an issue with the sentence,
10:12religious freedom is a pre-political right that rests securely in our dignity as human beings,
10:17because I've listened to that upwards of 50 times, and I still have no idea what the fuck she's talking about there.
10:24It's the legal equivalent of the actual headline,
10:26Disney to merge Hulu Live TV with Fubo settling Venu Lawsuit.
10:31All the words feel like they're in the correct places,
10:34but now, I can't even understand the ones that I thought I knew.
10:38The woman who said that, Kristen Wagoner, is ADF's current head,
10:41and if you're thinking that she looks like someone who'd have an office filled with Mickey and Minnie Mouse memorabilia,
10:45you'd be dead wrong, because she used to have an office filled with Mickey and Minnie Mouse memorabilia,
10:50but got rid of it after Disney's recent defense of LGBT rights ruined the beauty.
10:55So, I bet you feel pretty stupid right now.
10:59But as you've probably already guessed, the freedom ADF fights for is selective at best,
11:05as among other things, they've argued for the Christian baker who refused to make a cake for a same-sex couple in Colorado,
11:10orchestrated the attack on the abortion drug myth of Pristone, heard by the Supreme Court last year,
11:14and were also behind the Dobbs case, which famously overturned Roe v. Wade.
11:19And when asked about that last one, they'll take credit for it, but notably, only to a point.
11:24So, what was ADF's role in this Dobbs case?
11:28So, we worked very closely with Mississippi from the very beginning,
11:31including we had a hand in crafting the legislation of the 15-week bill, coordinating, advising them
11:38during the pendency of the litigation, and then at the Supreme Court,
11:42we have been, you know, alongside them all the way, offering just as much help as we possibly can.
11:47Would you consider yourselves co-counsel in this case?
11:50So, Denise has already said as much as she can possibly say about our involvement,
11:54so we really can't address any more questions.
11:56Okay, but just to clarify, did you all write the arguments at the center of this case?
12:00So, again, we really can't address anything of how you are involved in the past,
12:06what Denise has already addressed. Sorry about that.
12:08Okay.
12:09So, here is a quick PR rule of thumb. Stopping your client from answering a question
12:14is a great way of making them seem like the guiltiest motherfucker on the planet.
12:19Because a spokesperson doesn't generally chime in like that if the answer to a question is no.
12:24If someone asked me, were you the one that suggested the honeycomb cereal monster
12:28looked like a clump of pubes fucked Gary Busey?
12:32And if publicists jumped in to say, we can't address John's involvement in that,
12:36you'd be pretty confident that I was the brains behind that bush.
12:40But while they might not have wanted to be seen as pulling the strings there,
12:44the fact is ADF's been incredibly successful.
12:47As since 2011, they've directly represented parties in 15 victories at the Supreme Court
12:52and claimed that since their founding, they've played roles in 77 victories.
12:56From weakening the contraception mandate in the Affordable Care Act
12:59to throwing out a law that provided a protest buffer around abortion clinics.
13:03So they are way more powerful than many are aware.
13:06And they're using that power for, I'll say it, bad.
13:10According to a 2021 internal strategy document, their goals included
13:13stopping efforts to elevate sexual orientation and gender identity
13:17to protected class status in the law akin to race,
13:20and working to restore an understanding of marriage, the family, and sexuality
13:24that reflects God's creative order.
13:27And just to be clear, God has no creative order, only creative chaos.
13:32He didn't need to create the universe and everything in it in just six days.
13:35That is manic behavior.
13:38He was clearly on coke. That is the only explanation
13:41for why we have things like the pink fairy armadillo,
13:44an animal that looks like a shrimp tail 69-ing a dead chicken.
13:49And when ADF's leaders are talking among themselves,
13:52they'll sometimes express amazement at how well they've done.
13:56My view was I wanted ADF to be bigger than the ACLU in every measure.
14:01Staff, funding, cases, impact,
14:05and the fear we strike in the hearts of our opponents.
14:09In a Christ-like way.
14:10In a Christ-like way, yeah.
14:11Christian love, Christian love, kill, kill, kill.
14:13Wow, that is quite the sentiment.
14:16Though I will admit, Christian love, kill, kill, kill
14:19would be a spectacularly good metal band name.
14:23And while that was from eight years ago,
14:25ADF's influence has only grown since then,
14:27even as they've somehow managed to fly under the radar.
14:30Because while everyone knows who, say, the NRA are
14:33and what they stand for,
14:34ADF has somehow avoided that level of notoriety,
14:38which has worked very much in their favor.
14:40So given that, tonight, let's look at the Alliance Defending Freedom,
14:44their history, their playbook, and what they're targeting next.
14:47And let's start with how they came to be.
14:49ADF was originally called the Alliance Defense Fund
14:52and was launched in 1994 by prominent evangelicals
14:55who decided to create an endowment to pay for lawyers
14:57who could take on the ACLU and its ilk.
15:00One of its key founders was James Dobson,
15:02a man who looks less like a real person
15:04and more like AI's answer to the question,
15:06what do they look like without their hoods?
15:09We've talked about Dobson before in our piece on Mike Pence.
15:13He's the founder of Focus on the Family,
15:15and over the years, he's, among other things,
15:17discouraged interracial marriage,
15:19argued one reason spanking children fails
15:21is that the spanking may be too gentle,
15:24and has warned that gay marriage is a slippery slope that can lead to this.
15:28How about group marriage?
15:30Or marriage between daddies and little girls?
15:32How about marriage between a man and his donkey?
15:35Anything allegedly linked to civil rights will be doable.
15:39If I may quote James Dobson every time he comes,
15:43Jesus fucking Christ!
15:45That is preposterous for many reasons,
15:49but whenever bigots do that,
15:51I kind of want them to keep playing it out.
15:53Wait, if gay people get married,
15:55next thing, am I going to have to go to a wedding
15:57between a man and his donkey?
15:58What gift do I even get them?
16:00They're rinsing up Bloomingdale's and PetSmart.
16:03That's ridiculous.
16:04And what if I show up late?
16:05Do I have to sit on the bride's side?
16:06It smells like shit over there.
16:08And if they run out of the human meal option,
16:10what do I eat then?
16:11Eat a plate of hay?
16:13Do I have to eat a plate of hay with a fork?
16:16Let me get this straight.
16:17You're going to make me wear a tuxedo,
16:19eat hay with a fork,
16:20drink wine out of a trough,
16:22watch a father donkey dance
16:23all because we made gay marriage legal?
16:25No, thank you very much!
16:27Not on my watch!
16:32To head the new organization,
16:34Dobson turned to a man named Alan Sears
16:36who led the organization from its founding to 2017.
16:39And during his time there,
16:40it argued for state laws criminalizing gay sex
16:43and later against laws that legalized gay marriage.
16:46He also co-authored a book called The Homosexual Agenda,
16:49which sadly isn't nearly as fun as you want it to be.
16:52In it, he described gay rights
16:54as the principal threat to religious freedom
16:56and wrote that gay activists were engaging in a war of propaganda
16:59just as Hitler did so masterfully in Nazi Germany.
17:03One spectacular review of the book on Amazon said,
17:06Why are heterosexuals so obsessed with homosexual sex?
17:10I think heterosexual sex is preposterous,
17:12but I don't feel the need to write a book about it.
17:14I just don't do it.
17:16Therefore, this book isn't gay enough for my tastes, I'm afraid.
17:19Pity, which is just a perfect review.
17:22Your book sucks. You're obsessed with me. Be gayer.
17:26That one-star review gets five stars from me.
17:29The point is, from ADF's outset,
17:32attacking the rights and dignity of gay people
17:35was at the center of its work,
17:37along with rolling back access to abortion
17:39and giving Christians more leeway
17:41to discriminate against someone who offends their faith.
17:43And those ideals have not changed
17:45even as the organization has massively grown.
17:48It now has more than 450 employees
17:50in domestic and international offices,
17:52as well as 5,000 network attorneys who work on their behalf.
17:56They also run a training program called
17:58the Blackstone Legal Fellowship,
18:00and a recent count found more than 60 Blackstone alumni
18:03were clerking on federal courts, including 18 on appeals courts.
18:07Fun fact, a frequent speaker at that Blackstone Fellowship
18:10was Amy Coney Barrett, who was paid to speak there five times,
18:13and yet, at her Supreme Court confirmation hearing,
18:16said that nothing about any of my interactions
18:18with anyone involved in the Blackstone program
18:20were ever indicative of any kind of discrimination
18:22on the basis of anything,
18:24which I find a little hard to believe,
18:27given that at the time she was lecturing there,
18:29the program's recommended reading list included
18:31the homosexual agenda.
18:33And I'm not saying that she read that book.
18:35I'm just saying a roomful of people who have
18:37are going to give you a vibe,
18:40and it is not, maybe see you at Pride.
18:43And it's not just Coney Barrett with ADF Connections.
18:46Current Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson,
18:48worked for them for nearly a decade.
18:50Here he is in 2005 as their senior legal counsel,
18:52appearing on Fox News to do the critically important job
18:55of defending the right to say Christmas
18:57before being bumped for more pressing news stories.
19:00We've seen a great backlash against retailers
19:03who have banned the saying of Merry Christmas,
19:05and certainly more and more Americans are realizing
19:08how easy it is to stand up against this improper censorship.
19:11Many people are visiting our website at saychristmas.org,
19:15and they're learning the facts,
19:16learning what the law really says,
19:18and that's a big step in this.
19:19Mike Johnson, senior attorney and spokesman
19:21for the Alliance Defense Fund, thank you very much.
19:23Thank you, Judge.
19:24You're welcome.
19:25Coming up, an explosion hits a nuclear plant.
19:27Those details in just a moment.
19:29And Penguin's fight the holiday weight gain.
19:31Find out how they do it.
19:32Oh, so cute.
19:34Okay, first, tough break getting bumped
19:37by an explosion at a nuclear plant.
19:40But an even tougher break for that explosion getting bumped
19:43for a story about thick-ass penguins.
19:46Which, by the way, aren't fighting the holiday weight gain,
19:49you fucking heathens.
19:50They're fighting the Christmas weight gain.
19:52You heard Mike Johnson.
19:53Saychristmas.org.
19:56But it wasn't just war on Christmas stuff.
19:58While at ADF, Johnson also advocated
20:00for the criminalization of gay sex,
20:02and wrote op-eds saying things like,
20:04homosexual relationships are inherently unnatural,
20:07and that if society protects such relationships,
20:09polygamists, polyamorists, pedophiles, and others
20:12will be next in line to claim equal protection.
20:15So that is who they are at their core.
20:18But how are they so successful at getting things done?
20:21Well, one major way is through the sheer volume
20:24of legislation they draft.
20:25Last year alone, they worked on over 100 bills
20:28in 24 states and in Congress,
20:29of which 25 wound up being enacted into law.
20:33And back when states were first passing so-called
20:35bathroom bills, restricting trans people's access,
20:37reporters noted many used language strongly similar
20:40to model legislation drafted by ADF,
20:43with at least one state's law being a word-for-word copy.
20:46The Dobbs case actually originated with a Mississippi law
20:50that was born out of a model bill drafted by ADF.
20:53It banned abortions after 15 weeks,
20:56a specific cutoff chosen because they were trying to find
20:59the magic number of weeks that might force
21:01the Supreme Court to reconsider Roe.
21:03Basically, the idea was to pass a law
21:06that would then trigger a lawsuit
21:08that would then get you to the Supreme Court.
21:10And everyone knew that at the time,
21:13to the point that even as Mississippi's governor
21:15signed it, he said this.
21:25Okay, first, everyone in that video
21:27looks like they've made someone's shift
21:29at the Cheesecake Factory a living hell.
21:31But second, of course he is fine with being sued.
21:35That's one of the things Governor Phil Bryant's
21:37most comfortable with, alongside reportedly
21:39helping Brett Favre secure welfare funding
21:41for a new volleyball stadium at the university
21:43where Favre's daughter plays.
21:45Now, Bryant will tell you that is a complete
21:47misrepresentation of what happened.
21:49In fact, he cares so much that this be corrected
21:51that he sued Mississippi Today and Sports Illustrated
21:54for writing about it, and he definitely won't like
21:56that I just repeated it here, to which I would say
21:59we'll probably be sued here in half an hour,
22:01and that'll be fine with me.
22:04But the larger point is,
22:06ADF had a strategy from start to finish
22:09for Dobbs, and it worked.
22:12And the final key component of the group's success
22:14is selling their desired outcome to the general public,
22:16which often involves foregrounding sympathetic individuals
22:20whose liberty they present as being violated.
22:22ADF goes out of its way to craft wholesome-sounding stories
22:26that present their side as the victims.
22:28Here's Kristen Wagoner spelling it out.
22:31We need to win back culture,
22:33and I would say we need you to engage,
22:36to tell the stories in a winsome way.
22:39Accurate, but winsome.
22:41Be a storyteller and tell the narrative,
22:44because we win when the truth gets out.
22:46Right. It wants its stories to be told in a winsome way,
22:50which means portraying themselves as advocates
22:52for upstanding Americans whose individual liberties
22:55have been trampled on, not, ideally,
22:57a bunch of lawyers in a conference room saying,
22:59Christian love, kill, kill, kill.
23:01But hearing we win when the truth gets out
23:04is a little hard to take,
23:06given ADF's relationship to the truth can be shaky at best.
23:09For instance, a few years back,
23:11they pushed for a ban on trans athletes in youth sports in Arizona.
23:14A key part of that push was this testimony
23:17from a teenage girl named Grace about what had happened
23:19to her team at her state softball tournament.
23:22We stepped onto the field, motivated to go in
23:24and play our hardest and to display how hard we'd trained.
23:27But that spirit of determination was quickly dampened
23:29with one of confusion and doubt when we discovered
23:31that our opponents were fielding a biological male
23:33who identified as a female.
23:35Our entire team's focus and motivation was affected
23:37as we grappled with the impact of this new player.
23:39Sure enough, our opposing team won.
23:42The boy gave them an edge, both physically and mentally,
23:44that we couldn't match.
23:46I'd heard stories like this happening to other girls in other states,
23:49but I never expected it would happen at my school.
23:51Well, I've got great news for you. It didn't.
23:54It didn't happen at your school at all,
23:56because it turned out there was no trans girl on the opposing team.
23:59That team's coach even told us they only thought she was trans
24:02because she had short hair and was good.
24:05And while Grace's team did lose, they also lost 16-6.
24:09And ass-whooping so bad, no one player could be responsible for it.
24:13And on top of all that, Grace isn't just any old high schooler.
24:17It turns out she's actually the daughter of Kristen Waggoner.
24:20She's basically the ultimate transphobic nepo-baby,
24:23or, to put it more winsomely, transphobic person of nepotistic descent.
24:28But it's not just anecdotes.
24:31When pushing anti-trans bills,
24:33ADFs loudly cited eye-catching studies and research.
24:36When one Georgia county was debating whether to allow trans students
24:39to use the bathroom of their choice,
24:41an ADF member addressed the board of education there
24:44and told them that science showed
24:46for the vast majority of trans kids, it was actually just a phase.
24:50The American College of Pediatricians just put out an article
24:54stating that if children will get through their, um, through puberty,
25:0198% of boys will return to their biological sex.
25:0698% when they make it through puberty
25:11will go back to their biological sex
25:15and this gender confusion will be cured.
25:17Wow, that is a shocking statistic.
25:19Almost as shocking as hearing that 79% of sea turtles have insomnia.
25:2345% of Americans feel sexual pleasure when their belly button is touched
25:27and 98% of celebrities who go through the Jennifer Hudson Spirit Tunnel
25:31report loving their experience.
25:33It turns out it's easy to be shocking when you're spewing total bullshit.
25:37Because while the American College of Pediatricians
25:39sounds like a prestigious organization,
25:41that's because their name sounds like the American Academy of Pediatrics.
25:46That is the group that makes recommendations for policy
25:49based on the vast experience of its 67,000 members.
25:52This one, however, is a tiny group founded in 2002
25:56by conservative physicians opposed to same-sex adoption
25:59and who've since provided ADF with custom-made talking points on trans issues.
26:03And it's worth knowing, researchers and doctors
26:06have repeatedly called this group out for misrepresenting data.
26:09For example, if you trace that 98% figure all the way back to its source,
26:14you'll find it comes from this 1987 book with a striking title
26:19that, as a Yale pediatrician told us,
26:21was actually about a study of a small group of boys
26:24who were viewed as mentally ill and subject to conversion tactics
26:27because they weren't stereotypically masculine.
26:29So it wasn't in any way the comprehensive study of trans kids that guy just claimed.
26:35It honestly sounds more like an institutionalized attempt
26:38to make a few dozen boys in the 80s feel bad about whatever they felt
26:41during the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
26:44But maybe the best way to see ADF's game plan
26:48is to look at their attempts to weaken laws
26:50banning discrimination against gay and trans people.
26:53They've taken multiple runs at this in the Supreme Court.
26:56Their first attempt came a decade ago in the Masterpiece Cake Shop case.
27:00You may remember it. It concerned Jack Phillips
27:02who refused to create a wedding cake for a gay couple.
27:05His refusal violated Colorado's anti-discrimination law
27:09and he did media appearance after media appearance
27:12usually with Waggoner right by his side
27:15telling the story of how this was really fundamentally a matter of cake principles.
27:20Well, first of all, I'd like to say that I serve everybody who comes into my store
27:24including David and Charlie.
27:26People of all walks of life are always welcome in my store.
27:28It's just that there are certain messages that I don't create.
27:32Like, I don't produce cakes for Halloween.
27:35I don't do cakes that would promote sexual things or anti-American things.
27:42Things that would disparage other people, including customers that identify as LGBT.
27:49So people who want to... Has anybody asked you for a cake that would disparage LGBT?
27:53Yes, they have.
27:54Really? People want cakes that discriminate against gay people?
27:58Yeah. I've had a few of those and I'd turn those down as well
28:02because it's a message that I can't create.
28:04Okay, first, sure that happens.
28:07But second, I do wish that Megyn Kelly...
28:11Sorry about the jump scare there, by the way.
28:13I'd actually just let him keep describing his other cake rules.
28:17No Halloween cakes. No gay cakes.
28:19No unicorn cakes, because horned two-penis.
28:22No Harry Potter cakes, because witches.
28:24But yes to J.K. Rowling cakes for all other reasons.
28:26And no Sesame Street cakes, because what we can all see with our own two eyes.
28:32ADF argued that Phillips wasn't denying service,
28:35just declining to promote the message of same-sex marriage,
28:38which is ridiculous on its face, but especially because,
28:40according to a state investigation,
28:42his business had actually turned down approximately six same-sex couples,
28:46including a lesbian couple that just wanted to purchase cupcakes
28:49for their family commitment ceremony.
28:51And when one of those women called back and claimed to be a dog breeder
28:54and stated she planned to host a dog wedding between one of her dogs and a neighbor's dog,
28:59Phillips apparently did not object.
29:01What is more, when a different lesbian couple spoke to him
29:04to discuss why he wouldn't create a cake for their commitment ceremony,
29:07he told them he is not willing to make a cake for a same-sex commitment ceremony
29:10just as he would not be willing to make a pedophile cake.
29:13And while it is not remotely the point,
29:16what would a pedophile cake even be?
29:21Legally, I'm apparently not allowed to say it's a giant wooden cake
29:24that Drake jumps out of, so I'm not going to say that.
29:27I'm just saying it's a weird thing to bring up in the first place.
29:30Now, Phillips' case was heard at the Supreme Court,
29:34but his ruling was narrow and didn't offer ADF a clear precedent
29:38that Christian business owners who offered an artistic product
29:41could deny services to LGBT couples.
29:43So, they took another swing at the issue with a similar case,
29:47this time involving a Colorado website designer, Laurie Smith,
29:50who refused to make wedding sites for gay couples.
29:54The state of Colorado is forcing me to create custom, unique artwork, expression,
29:59communicating and celebrating a different view of marriage,
30:02a view of marriage that goes against my deeply held beliefs.
30:05She wants the Supreme Court to rule that she does not have to comply
30:08with a Colorado law that prohibits businesses from discriminating
30:12against same-sex couples.
30:14Her lawyer contends it comes down to Laurie's role as a creator and free speech.
30:19It's about whether the government can use the power of law
30:22to force Americans to say things that they don't believe.
30:25Yeah, it's not about gay marriage, it's about forcing Americans
30:28to say things they don't believe, which is pretty fucking rich,
30:31coming from the same people who brought you SayChristmas.org.
30:34Say it! You have to say it!
30:37Smith was just one of several cases ADF brought all over the country,
30:42possibly trying to trigger a so-called circuit split,
30:45where you bring cases in multiple districts,
30:47hoping to get divergent rulings,
30:49which then increases the chances of the Supreme Court stepping in.
30:52That's what happened here.
30:54ADF filed cases involving a photographer from Kentucky,
30:57videographers from Minnesota,
30:59and a pair of Arizona artists who created stationery.
31:02And Laurie Smith's case ultimately wound up in the Supreme Court,
31:05which is when reporters started noticing some weird things about it,
31:09like the fact that it was built on a hypothetical.
31:11As ADF's legal filing stated,
31:13Smith was not at that time in the wedding industry,
31:17but just wanted to make sure that if she entered it,
31:19she'd be able to legally turn down same-sex couples.
31:22In fact, at the time the suit was filed,
31:24she'd had no requests from same-sex couples to design a site.
31:28She did later claim she'd received an inquiry
31:30which oddly arrived the day after her suit was originally filed.
31:34That request was apparently from someone named Stuart,
31:36who'd contacted her about building a website
31:38for his wedding to a man named Mike.
31:40But it turned out he was actually a straight man
31:43who at the time the request was sent
31:45had been married to a woman for nearly a decade,
31:48and has since sworn he'd never requested anything from Laurie Smith.
31:51And why would he?
31:53Because even if he was secretly engaged to someone else,
31:56which he wasn't,
31:57and chose to break the news of that secret engagement
32:00with the creation of an artistic website, which he wouldn't,
32:02at the very least, he'd probably choose to go
32:05with a wedding website design business that already existed.
32:08But if we're being really honest, he wouldn't do that either
32:10because he was, and this is true, a fucking website designer!
32:15And what a phone call that must have been for him to receive.
32:20Guess what, buddy?
32:21Some lady said you're getting gay married
32:23and now the Supreme Court is involved.
32:25You need to call your wife!
32:29But it doesn't stop there,
32:30as other cases in that flurry of lawsuits were similarly wobbly.
32:34Because while ADF insists our clients are real people
32:37who had or still have real businesses
32:39with actual operations in the wedding industry
32:41or real plans to enter it,
32:43the Washington Post found that two of three vendors
32:46cited in ADF's petition to the Supreme Court
32:48had stopped working on weddings.
32:50One had actually moved away
32:52from where the case was filed in Louisville,
32:54but ADF claimed she'd still be willing to take work there
32:56despite it being 600 miles from her home.
32:59Not only that, ADF had also had a hand
33:02in formally establishing companies for some of its clients
33:04with lawyers associated with the group
33:06signing incorporation paperwork and helping draft company policies.
33:09In one instance, only a month before a lawsuit was filed,
33:12but none of that mattered.
33:14Because when Laurie Smith's case went in front of the Supreme Court,
33:17she won a much broader ruling than ADF had with the cake shop.
33:21And as Justice Sotomayor wrote in her dissent,
33:23it was a decision that for the first time in the court's history
33:26grants a business open to the public
33:29a constitutional right to refuse to serve members of a protected class.
33:33And yet throughout all these lawsuits,
33:36ADF insisted it was just sticking up for the little guy.
33:39But for all its careful, winsome positioning,
33:42it is worth remembering this is a group that in 2003
33:46filed a brief with the Supreme Court
33:48urging them to uphold state bans on sodomy
33:50and has sought to uphold bans on gay sex in India and Belize,
33:53which still fights for faith-based adoption agencies
33:56that refuse to serve same-sex couples to get public funding
33:59and that right now is fighting to overturn bans on conversion therapy.
34:03And however measured their public remarks may be,
34:06it's worth listening to what they can sound like
34:08behind closed doors, like in this speech from 2020
34:11to students at their Blackstone Fellowship.
34:14An ADF lawyer introduced a guest lecturer
34:16to help with what he called the theme of the day,
34:18which was how to talk about certain issues that are awkward
34:21and yet do so winsomely.
34:24She read aloud from a homophobic treatise
34:27and then offered her own commentary.
34:29Dr. Robert Riley helpfully explains this view of the human body
34:32in a reflection on the different organs and their limitations.
34:36Male genital organs are perfectly matched for female genitals.
34:40They are a perfect biological fit.
34:43By contrast, the anus is solely an expiratory organ.
34:47It's an exit, not an entrance.
34:50It is designed to eliminate fecal matter.
34:53When it is used in homosexual intercourse
34:55as a stand-in for the female vagina,
34:58it is being subjected to an activity for which it is clearly not designed.
35:03And one of the indications of this is the physical harm that it brings.
35:07End of quote.
35:09Many people still share this understanding of the human body
35:12and wish to see it upheld as the ideal.
35:16Wow. Not only is that incredibly dark, old-timey homophobia,
35:21male genital organs are a perfect biological fit for female genitals?
35:26I think there are plenty of women who might say,
35:28Perfect fit?
35:31I don't want to be mean, but there is literally room for improvement.
35:37The point is, despite what it says,
35:41each case ADF brings is in service of their larger world view,
35:44one where abortion and the rights of gays and trans people are a thing of the past,
35:48and they're going to keep chipping away at those rights,
35:50all while cheerily telling you that they're doing so in the service of freedom.
35:54Even that charter school case the Supreme Court is about to rule on,
35:57the one nominally about charter school funding, may well have a larger endgame.
36:02Because while that school insists it will not deny admission to any students
36:05on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression,
36:09it also has policies like, on all matters,
36:12the school will interact with students, faculty and staff according to their biological sex.
36:17And allowing taxpayer funds to go directly to a school with policies like that
36:22feels like we're moving another step closer to ADF's ultimate goal
36:26of eliminating LGBTQ American status as protected class citizens.
36:31So, what can we do?
36:34Well, unfortunately, given the current state of the courts,
36:37a lot of this is out of our hands right now,
36:39but I do think at the very least, there's value in everyone knowing
36:43exactly what we are dealing with here.
36:45Because at least with the NRA, you understand what its endgame is,
36:50as they will happily tell you right to your face,
36:52it's for a gun to be elected to Congress, that is what they want.
36:56ADF, though, is something different.
36:58It's worked extremely hard to put a misleadingly friendly face
37:02on what is an utterly hateful ideology.
37:05And it benefits immensely from people not knowing just how poisonous and disingenuous it is.
37:10But for the record, this is a group that will talk winsomely about personal liberty,
37:16all while fear-mongering about softball players that don't exist,
37:19shitty studies that don't apply, and pedophile cakes that no one will ever order.
37:25And it might actually be important for everyone to know that at the end of the day,
37:29ADF at its core is really a lot like the pews at an imaginary donkey wedding,
37:34which is to say, absolutely full of shit.
37:39And now, this.
37:41And now, more delightfully bizarre musings from Philly's Color commentator, John Kruk.
37:48When do you think they're going to upgrade the umpire's attire?
37:53Like, their pants are pleated?
37:56That went out in like 30 years.
37:58You know what, that's an excellent point, that pleats did go out.
38:02Yeah, pleats are out.
38:03Yeah, they're out.
38:04He's looking at them.
38:05He's saying, you know what, John, you're right.
38:07These do look like crap.
38:09Had a nice conversation with Nick on the bus last night.
38:11Was it about RBIs?
38:12It was not about anything related to baseball, Tom.
38:15We were discussing colonoscopies.
38:18Yeah.
38:19Wait, who did you watch the game with?
38:20Who did you go squirrel hunting with?
38:21Ruel Hollis-Martin.
38:23Ruel Hollis-Martin.
38:24Yep.
38:25Great shortstop draft by the Dodgers.
38:27Oh, really?
38:28Yep.
38:29And he had a farming incident where he cut off part of his finger.
38:33Oh, man.
38:34I'm going to talk to this kid.
38:36I ain't got nothing else to do.
38:38See if he can scare him.
38:41Hey!
38:43Malachi with the call.
38:45You don't miss those.
38:46I love that name.
38:48It's a good name.
38:49When you and I have a child together, we should name him Malachi.
38:54That's a good shot there.
38:58I said that out loud.
39:00I don't care what he.
39:01Did you tell him that?
39:03Since he's a Mets fan, I hope he chokes a little bit.
39:07One and one.
39:08But since he's your son, I hope it's not fatal.
39:13Thank you, John.
39:14You're welcome.
39:17That's our show.
39:18Thanks so much for watching.
39:20Good night.
39:42Good night.
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