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FOX NEWS SATURDAY NIGHT with Jimmy Failla (Full Episode) | May 17, 2025
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00:00I'm Jimmy Fallon, and this is Fox News Saturday Night.
00:07Come on, hop in.
00:08Oh, my, look at you guys.
00:34Hot deal!
00:37Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:41Have a seat, have a seat, have a seat.
00:43Have a seat.
00:44You're good there.
00:45And thank you for coming out.
00:46I've got to be honest, I almost missed tonight's show because my flight was canceled last night,
00:49but luckily the Qatari government gave me a free plane.
00:54So thank you, Your Excellency, appreciate it.
00:59You know, people are mad that Trump wants to take a free jet because of ethics and the
01:02fact that the Qatari government was once accused of harboring members of Hamas.
01:06This one puts me in a tough spot because I always root for the American president,
01:09but at the same time, I am also a former New York City cab driver, which means I know most
01:13of Hamas.
01:14OK.
01:15You don't want to piss off my co-workers, you know what I mean?
01:24But welcome.
01:25Welcome to Fox News Saturday Night, you guys.
01:32What a wild week this was to cover.
01:34Every time you turned on the TV, Trump was in a different palace in the Middle East,
01:38which is nothing like the last four years where they send Joe Biden to Epcot and tell
01:41him he was in the Middle East.
01:43Think about it.
01:46Trump was in a Saudi castle.
01:47Biden was in Cinderella's castle for four years.
01:49You got to realize the Saudis ate so much cotton candy.
01:53Not a joke, man.
01:54Not a joke.
01:56But Biden was all over the news and we're going to talk about it.
01:58But the one thing I should tell you, this is important because we have some tourists
02:01in the crowd, is New York is a very liberal city.
02:04So the language here has changed a lot in the last five years.
02:07Like even in slang terms, if you're out on the sidewalks, you're not allowed to call
02:11someone a lying bag of any more.
02:18Not allowed to do it.
02:19You have to call them Jake Tapper.
02:28So Tapper put out his big book this week that claims to investigate the massive effort to
02:34cover up Joe Biden's cognitive decline.
02:36Yeah.
02:37And once Tapper finds out who lied about Biden, he's going to help O.J. find the real killers.
02:41You know what I mean?
02:43Come on, Tapper.
02:44You know, it's bad when Jeffrey Toobin thinks you're giving us the shaft, you know.
02:48And we're going to get into the Tapper stuff with the panel in a little bit.
02:53But I just want to say I love how the entire media and all the Democrats are attacking
02:58Joe Biden for running again as if nobody had a reason to speak up before he decided
03:04to do it.
03:05You know what I mean?
03:06Like here is Biden talking to NBC before he announced he was running for reelection.
03:12Now, tell me if you notice anything at the end of this that might make running again
03:16a bad idea.
03:17Just watch.
03:18OK, watch to the end.
03:19I have not made that formal decision, but it's my intention, my intention to run again.
03:25And we have time to make that decision.
03:28Dr. Biden is for it.
03:31Mr. President.
03:32Oh.
03:33You know, he literally woke him up during an interview.
03:43He asked if he could serve more for more years.
03:44The guy hit the snooze button to get four more minutes.
03:47OK, watch it again.
03:49Watch it again.
03:50Dr. Biden is for it.
03:52Mr. President.
03:55Oh.
03:57You know, if a cop stopped you and you fell asleep answering a question, you're getting
04:02prison time, ladies and gentlemen.
04:05But if the media catches you falling asleep, you're getting their endorsement.
04:09You dig?
04:10Like even before the 2020 election, Jay Tapper was reporting that Russia was spreading rumors
04:16about Biden having dementia to undermine faith in our elections.
04:20Look at this.
04:21What do you make of the fact that so many of the criticisms that you're talking about
04:24What the Russians are trying to do to make us and the public not trust the our election
04:29integrity.
04:30The election's rigged.
04:31Joe Biden has dementia and all this stuff.
04:34Yeah.
04:35Just to be clear, OK, the Russians weren't trying to tell us Joe Biden had dementia.
04:38Joe Biden was trying to tell us that he had dementia.
04:42Like Russia did not lead Biden offstage at a fundraiser after he glitched out.
04:47OK.
04:48Barack Obama did.
04:49And Tapper lied about that, too.
04:50Remember, here's Biden freezing up as Obama grabs him.
04:54Like, yo, look at how he grabs Joe's wrist.
05:02Like that buddy of yours who's so drunk, he's paralyzed in the bar and can't walk out.
05:08You ever gotten so hammered, you just stand in the corner and you just go, whoa, you know.
05:17That's him just standing in the corner like you guys, whoa, you know, except he wasn't
05:22saying, whoa.
05:23He wasn't saying nothing as he went towards the light because he thought he was dying.
05:28Now watch how Tapper covered that.
05:30Watch.
05:31This was the same event.
05:32We should note that Republicans later circulated cell phone video from that seemed to show
05:36President Biden freezing on stage for about seven seconds before being led offstage by
05:41former President Obama.
05:43Now, do you notice how he goes?
05:46Republicans circulated these cell phone videos as if who shares the video changes what you're
05:51looking at.
05:52You know, look at this video of a Houston man getting home from work real quick.
05:57Just look.
05:58Now, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it doesn't matter which party sends you the
06:11video.
06:12You're not going to hire him as your Uber driver, no, I mean, come on, but you know
06:20who else you wouldn't hire as an Uber driver?
06:23This guy, Mr. President, oh, yo, that looks like the conductor on the Long Island Railroad
06:32waking me up so I don't drunkenly miss my stop.
06:37Hicksville buddy Hicksville.
06:38Oh, oh, oh.
06:39All right.
06:40All right.
06:41The point is, Jay Tapper spent four years lying about what we were watching with our
06:45own eyes, and now he's trying to cash in by selling a book that doesn't make him a journalist
06:50that makes him an OK, straight up, although in his defense, you'd be hoarding money,
06:55too.
06:56If you saw CNN's ratings these days, I mean, my God, of course, nobody rounded up more
06:59money this week than President Trump, who took in close to two trillion dollars in investments
07:04from our allies in the Middle East.
07:06And yeah.
07:07Oh, you guys like that.
07:12Get that money, girl.
07:14That's what's up.
07:15Right.
07:16I love it.
07:17OK.
07:18And it's like American money.
07:19This isn't like the Bidens when it was all Ukrainian.
07:20But yeah, he even talked about the plane that he was gifted from the Qataris.
07:23Watch this clip.
07:24And when you land and you see Saudi Arabia and you see UAE and you see Qatar and you
07:30see all this and they have these brand new Boeing 747s mostly and you see ours next to
07:36it.
07:37This is like a totally different plane.
07:39It's much smaller.
07:40It's much less impressive.
07:42As impressive as it is.
07:44And you know, with the United States of America, I believe that we should have the most impressive
07:48plane.
07:49And he wants the most impressive plane.
07:50You get it.
07:51OK.
07:52Trump looks at Air Force Ones like he looks at wives.
07:54He wants to trade up for a nicer model.
07:55You dig?
07:58That's all this is.
07:59The guy just wants a flying Melania.
08:01Is that too much to ask?
08:03But he does.
08:04He understands the importance of optics.
08:06Like he even talked to Hannity about people's need to look better.
08:10And he did it in the most Trumpian way possible.
08:13Watch this.
08:14A friend of mine who's slightly overweight, to put it mildly, went to a drugstore in London
08:20and he was able to get one of the fat shots.
08:22I caught the fat shots that you lose weight.
08:27I love that he calls it the fat shot so much.
08:31I just wish wardrobe wasn't nagging me to get it, you know.
08:38But everybody trying to figure out Trump's connection with middle class voters.
08:42That is his superpower.
08:44It's like he might be a billionaire, but he communicates in the most plain spoken terminology.
08:49Like think about everything Trump says would make perfect sense if you heard it in a Southern
08:54accent instead.
08:56You know, my sister Betty Sue got the fat shot.
09:02She's fixing to lose all kinds of weight with that shot of fat she got over there.
09:09Like I have family from the South.
09:11And even before Trump entered politics, if you were to cook out and say Opelika, Alabama,
09:15you could totally picture saying, crack, I'll tell you what we need to do is build the wall.
09:20Have Mexico pay for the gosh dang thing.
09:26That's why people love him.
09:27Trump is the richest president in history, but he talks like your redneck cousin, you
09:31know.
09:32Like, do you remember when he sat inside the Tesla and he said everything's computer?
09:37That was his analysis.
09:38Look at this.
09:39Remember this.
09:41This is a different panel than I've had.
09:42Everything's computer.
09:43That's beautiful.
09:44Wow.
09:45Everything's computer in there.
09:51I've said it before.
09:52Like, it amazes me that Trump drives around in the beast, which is the most sophisticated
09:55car in the world.
09:57But he talks about the inside of a Tesla like he's an Amish guy at Best Buy, you know.
10:06Wowie zowie.
10:07Would you look at all these gizmos and do dads?
10:10Am I right?
10:11Who's in my what sits, you know, like the guy's just living in Trump land.
10:16Population one.
10:17And I will say this.
10:18All in all, president had a great trip overseas.
10:20But back here at home, one of the biggest criticisms of the Trump administration did
10:25come true this week, because right before we went to air, we found out that Tom Homan
10:28has actually deported his first actual American citizen.
10:34And what a loser that guy is, you know, the former FBI director James Cohen, he caught
10:46heat for posting a picture on Instagram that featured the numbers 8647 in the sand, meaning
10:53like we got to 8647.
10:55Comey's denying that he was calling for violence, but dude, like we know what you did.
10:58OK, just like me telling Jenny I was reading about health care when she found all the naughty
11:02nurse videos in my laptop.
11:05Now, these are HMOs.
11:08That's just the copay what she's doing to her over there.
11:12Lincoln, go back in the living room, Lincoln.
11:15Get out of here.
11:16Oh, this is your laptop.
11:17All right.
11:18Sorry.
11:19Here you go.
11:20Now, the bad news for the country is that obviously a former FBI director calling to
11:22assassinate a president would be a bad look.
11:24The good news is anybody who sits through a Comey speech just wants to kill themself
11:28at the end.
11:29Let's be honest.
11:30That being said, Comey wasn't the only one going after Trump.
11:32He also got attacked by women's soccer star Megan Rapinoe.
11:36Take a look.
11:46Like when did Springsteen go from the boss to the lesbian goalie?
11:50You know, and it is actually Springsteen who accused Donald Trump of ruining our country.
11:56But Earth to Bruce, did you endorse Joe Biden?
11:59Everybody wants to hear about protecting America from a guy who let in 10 million people
12:02who weren't born in the USA.
12:04You know what I'm saying?
12:07Not to mention all the fentanyl they flooded the streets of Philadelphia with.
12:10You dig?
12:12You want one more bad Springsteen pun?
12:13Oh, you guys.
12:15Only good news of the Biden administration is that no one was blinded by the light because
12:18the soaring energy prices left us all dancing in the dark.
12:23Stop it.
12:28Stop it.
12:29You're like, it was a dumb joke, but he delivered it well, honey.
12:33He delivered it well.
12:34I'm going to stop the Springsteen puns before somebody puts a bomb in my pink Cadillac.
12:38Yeah, the best summary, though, of the Springsteen situation actually came from the real boss.
12:44Look at Trump's tweet, which reads, quote, This dried out prune of a rocker.
12:50His skin is all atrophied.
12:52Gotta keep his mouth shut until he gets back into the country.
13:04You know, people like Trump, they just wish he wouldn't hold back so much, you know?
13:09Of course, nobody showed more fight this week than the co-founder of Ben and Jerry's, who
13:15got thrown out of a hearing on Capitol Hill.
13:18Watch this.
13:24Members of the audience are reminded disruptions will not be permitted while the committee
13:28conducts its business.
13:30Capitol police are asked to remove the individuals from the hearing.
13:36I haven't seen somebody get ejected that fast since the liberals got 40 migrants in Martha's
13:40Vineyard.
13:41Do you remember that when DeSantis there, they all had the signs up on their stores?
13:50No human being is illegal.
13:52Get out of here.
13:56But politics aside, OK, round of applause if you just want ice cream companies to stay
14:00out of politics, you know, like, yo, Ben, stick to doing what you do best, which is
14:09giving our kids diabetes, you know?
14:13But it's so bizarre for me to watch Ben and Jerry's go all in on identity politics.
14:18Like when I was a kid, my white parents yelled at me for having too much ice cream.
14:22Now my ice cream yells at me for having white parents.
14:26It doesn't make sense, you know?
14:29And of course, not everybody on Capitol Hill was disturbed by the Ben and Jerry's commotion.
14:33Check out Michigan Representative Debbie Dingell during her committee hearing.
14:45Turns out the Democrats are so obsessed with D.I.
14:48They hired a bartender named Bill Cosby and.
15:01You could get offended, but you couldn't write that joke.
15:03So shut up.
15:08Stop it.
15:09Stop it.
15:10But anyway, you slice it like we need term limits in Congress, people.
15:13Can we agree on that?
15:17Like.
15:20I was at the Capitol 2023 to film a Fox Nation special, OK?
15:25These people are in their late hundreds, dude.
15:27They're old.
15:29Like when they say the country needs new blood, they mean new blood like transfusions.
15:33Like it's scary.
15:34You know, when you go to a Six Flags and they have a sign out front that tells you which
15:37rides aren't working that day, like you're at the ticket booth and they're like, we apologize
15:40for the inconvenience, but Lightning Loops is closed due to a maintenance issue like
15:43that's Congress.
15:44They're like Mitch McConnell glitched out today.
15:46We apologize for the inconvenience.
15:50President Biden is telling people he's Batman again.
15:51We're so sorry you can speak to him, but you got to call him Bruce Wayne.
15:55I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
15:58It's madness.
15:59But we got a great show tonight, so don't go anywhere.
16:01I'm taking Bill Hemmer on a taxi ride and the panel is joining me when we come back.
16:16For tickets to be in our studio audience, scan the QR code on the screen or visit foxnews.com
16:21slash Jimmy Fala.
16:22We'll see you in New York.
16:31Hey, the thing about New York City cab drivers, because I know that like you're born into
16:41that community.
16:43I think your mom was on to something because every cab driver in this city has got something
16:48to say about everything.
16:51Straight up.
16:52Every day.
16:53Straight up.
16:54Am I wrong?
16:55Yes, because this is the original social media.
16:57Everybody gets in and posts something on the wall, you know?
17:00Yeah.
17:01You believe Garrett Cole's out the season for the Yanks?
17:04And you might not even know.
17:05You're like, oh, really?
17:06Yeah.
17:07And now you're talking about it.
17:08Yeah.
17:09What do you think he's going to do?
17:10What'd you think of Vance?
17:11Were you on that Signal thing?
17:12Uh-huh.
17:13And now by the end of the day, you have like a hard thesis that whenever it comes up from
17:17now till eternity, you'll stand your ground with anybody because you've workshopped it
17:21off of 35 passengers.
17:22Jimmy, this is something I can buy into.
17:25Yes.
17:26Because I believe it.
17:27Yes.
17:28That's the thing.
17:29Guy goes out.
17:30You see what the mayor did?
17:31It was something Adams related.
17:32Every cab driver in my garage right now has an Adams truck.
17:35Like, if you bring them up.
17:36Yeah, I get it.
17:37Take them to the airport ride.
17:38I bet all those guys have a Bitcoin.
17:39Oh, yo.
17:40Everyone.
17:41They've got a spiel for everything.
17:42If you had an essay due in like an hour, you don't call CHAT GPT because they'll figure
17:48out it was plagiarized.
17:49Call your driver.
17:50Yeah.
17:51You call my man Mahmood or any of my boys down at the garage.
17:53They'll turn and some of them are actually like, you know, heart surgeons that just aren't
17:56licensed here.
17:57You get an A in that paper.
17:58Like, it's better than CHAT GPT.
17:59I dig it.
18:01Hey, welcome back to Fox News Saturday night and a shout out shout out to the great Bill
18:11Hammer.
18:12Although I should remind all of you that I am going on tour with another Fox News personality
18:16by the name of Sean Hannity and you can get tickets to punch lines and patriots at Fox
18:21across America dot com.
18:23And I'll tell you what happened, guys.
18:24I saw Hannity interviewing Trump on Air Force One the other day and I was like, you know,
18:26I got to give this guy's career a boost.
18:28You know what I mean?
18:31It's all about helping the little people.
18:32Once you get to my position, you know, and I could really see his career taking off.
18:35But right now we got to focus on someone else because it is time to meet the panel.
18:39Say hello to comedian Danny Polishuk, Fox News contributor Tom Shalhoub.
18:45Good to see you both.
18:48Good to be here.
18:49I'm not going to lie.
18:50This panel looks like a white guy for Kamala Zun.
18:54How you living Shalhoub?
18:55Everything good?
18:56Everything's great, Jimmy.
18:57Uh huh.
18:58You look sharp.
18:59No, that doesn't look like I can't look like a schlub.
19:02No.
19:03What do you mean?
19:04I think his tie looks good.
19:05No, I'm saying compared to me.
19:06No, you look fine.
19:07You're Canadian.
19:08I look just fine.
19:09Danny, your whole country is in trauma.
19:10Why should you?
19:11Anyway, I love them both.
19:13But we brought up the election because Jake Tapper made the media rounds this week.
19:17He's pushing his book about the cover up of Joe Biden's decline, as you know, which really
19:21is like J.B. Pritzker writing a book investigating who ate all the Oreos.
19:28But while everybody at CNN was busy trying to give their credibility a makeover, Democrats
19:33were not in the mood to play ball.
19:35And of course, these days, liberals only play ball if the guys can get dressed in the women's
19:39room.
19:40But check out the new party line on how to talk about Biden.
19:46Watch this.
19:47Did you really not have any idea that he was not fit to serve a second term?
19:52Casey, we're looking forward, not looking backward.
19:56We're looking forward.
19:57I'm not interested in going backwards in time.
19:59I'm interested in going forward.
20:01Frankly, that's very backward looking.
20:03And I don't really want to review all of it because it's past history.
20:07We're looking forward.
20:10That's it.
20:11That's it.
20:14That's it is the equivalent of you kidding me.
20:19Right.
20:21Let's move forward.
20:27You know, like Biden did that time he wandered out of a photo op with the president of Brazil.
20:31Watch this video.
20:32Watch this.
20:33Watch this.
20:34Watch the guy on the right.
20:44He literally didn't shake the guy's hand and the guy goes, ah, you know, my question for
20:49the panel, will people ever forgive Democrats in the media?
20:52And at the very least, can we all agree Joe Biden was a bad doctor and a worse president?
20:56Can we agree on that, Danny?
20:59Don't you love the move forward approach?
21:00Oh, yeah.
21:01I mean, I'm literally that's my new line for my wife.
21:03Whenever I argue with her, I go, we're not going backwards.
21:07OK, we're looking forward right now.
21:09Let's have drudge up the past.
21:11Yeah.
21:12Jenny, this chart from flash answers is from last month.
21:15We're talking about next month, paying this month's bill.
21:18Come on, Jenny Shalhoub.
21:20Tapper spent four years blaming this on a stutter.
21:23That's right.
21:24Yes.
21:25Have you ever seen someone stutter so bad they shake hands with an invisible person?
21:28He actually had a kid on to shame.
21:30Lara Trump.
21:31Yes.
21:32And he showed the kid with the stutter and he said, how dare you?
21:34This is a physical disability.
21:35Yeah.
21:36You know, he was part of the cover up.
21:39But his book now he's trying to act as if it's some kind of mea culpa.
21:42How did we miss this story?
21:44Yeah.
21:45You like to go down at that Washington Correspondents Dinner?
21:47Yep.
21:48You like that.
21:49Yeah.
21:50Not this year.
21:51Well, listen, the guy who co-wrote the book with him.
21:52Yeah.
21:53He went up there and he said, we missed it.
21:54We missed this story.
21:55And, you know, we have to own up to our mistake.
21:57He didn't miss it.
21:58They covered it up.
21:59It was a cover up from the beginning.
22:00And this book now is a cover up of the cover up.
22:04Yeah.
22:05It's so it's so true.
22:08And they keep saying, well, you know, the one reason we didn't entertain it is Republicans
22:12kept saying that Biden had dementia.
22:15I mean, anybody with eyeballs.
22:16Well, the guy said cannibals ate his uncle, Danny.
22:20He didn't say when.
22:23You had a sitting United States president say his uncle became an entree.
22:28And nobody was like, I wonder if there's something off here.
22:31No.
22:32And that's the part.
22:33And you know what else I want to say while we're talking about this, because we beg on
22:35Tapper.
22:36But, you know, who's the biggest scam in this whole thing?
22:37George Clooney.
22:38Yeah.
22:39You know why?
22:40Because George Clooney is quoted in the book as saying, well, it was apparent to me when
22:43I met Biden backstage that night at the fundraiser, it wasn't the same Joe Biden, but he still
22:46went out and raised thirty five million dollars.
22:48Yeah.
22:49You know what I mean?
22:50And I would I don't think I recognize him either, because George Clooney, he always
22:53had that wonderfully dark hair and then his hair turned white.
22:56And then Joe Biden looked at him and he didn't recognize him because he looked like an old
23:00man.
23:01Yeah.
23:02Now he's dyed his hair back again.
23:03And Joe Biden knows who he is.
23:05Did you see the report that, like they said, if he served another term, they were going
23:08to put him in a wheelchair?
23:09Yeah.
23:10He might need a wheelchair.
23:11That's what I'm saying.
23:12That is the most Hollywood move ever.
23:14Yeah.
23:15Where it goes.
23:16He's totally fine.
23:17Nothing wrong with him.
23:18Then he meets him.
23:19He goes.
23:20He didn't recognize the most famous man in the world.
23:21Something's wrong here.
23:22We got to get out of here.
23:23How dare he not recognize George Clooney is.
23:25Are you kidding me?
23:26Yeah.
23:27The wheelchair thing didn't bother me because if Kamala won, she drinks so much, they were
23:30going to put her in a wheelchair, too.
23:32That wasn't the issue.
23:33But that's what it was.
23:34There was no cover up.
23:35You dig?
23:36Like meaning a cover up would imply none of us knew that.
23:39You know what I mean?
23:40Yeah.
23:41They liked the way it was because they knew that Biden was diminished to the point of
23:45where he wasn't able to do the job.
23:47But they had confidence in the people behind him.
23:49The Ron Klain's and people like that.
23:50They said, listen, the staff is running the country.
23:53They're straight up Democrats.
23:54We like it.
23:55So they they wanted to cover it up.
23:57And they thought, who cares if he can't do his job?
23:59Yeah.
24:00But they were covering it up the way a three year old plays hide and seek.
24:04They're standing right next to you and they go, I'm hiding.
24:10And that's all they're doing now is like they're lying so they can look credible the next time
24:14they have to lie again.
24:15Sure.
24:16Sure.
24:17They're just the erase your brain kind of thing.
24:18Yeah.
24:19So nothing's going on here.
24:20OK.
24:21They brought in Steven Spielberg to produce his campaign.
24:24OK.
24:25You don't do that if you have a functioning president.
24:28And the worst part is he heard out Spielberg directed E.T. and he gave the alien a stimulus
24:32check.
24:35So bad.
24:36They should have.
24:37Folks, just leave it there.
24:40Bill Belichick went on Good Morning America this time around.
24:44He cut his own mic.
24:45So progress is everywhere.
24:46We'll discuss it with Julie Banderas next.
24:49Let's go.
24:50Welcome back to Fox News.
25:03Saturday night to dig this.
25:04Bill Belichick spoke out about his relationship on Good Morning America yesterday, saying
25:08help.
25:09Oh, God, it's not true.
25:13The former head coach of the Patriots turned assistant coach to Jordan Hudson, sat down
25:16with Michael Strahan to set the record straight over rumors about him and his prom date.
25:21Check it out.
25:22She's been terrific, you know, through the whole process, and she's been very helpful
25:24to me.
25:25She does the business things that don't relate to North Carolina that come up in my life
25:29so I can concentrate on football.
25:31And that's really what I want to do.
25:33Yo, he looks like a guy reading off an index card in an Iceland hostage video does he not?
25:40I am very well fed and there's plenty of water.
25:45You infidels.
25:46Anyway, he went on to refer to her as his idea mill and his muse.
25:51But Jordan Hudson won't be running Belichick's life for long because my next guest says she's
25:56going to date him next.
25:57Say hello to Fox News anchor Julie Banderas.
26:02Good to see you, JB.
26:06Always good to see you, Jimmy.
26:07The crowd loves you.
26:08I didn't realize we had this many bartenders with us tonight.
26:10I had no idea.
26:11They're actually all drunk.
26:12Well, give me this.
26:13You have a new book out.
26:14It's called A Monumental Mistake.
26:15Here it is, ladies and gentlemen.
26:16Is this book about Bill's decision to date Jordan Hudson?
26:17It is not.
26:18It's actually about respect.
26:19And maybe Jordan Hudson should possibly read my book.
26:20It's about teaching children about respect.
26:21Okay.
26:22The disrespect.
26:23Teaching children.
26:25She actually is within the age range.
26:34Yeah.
26:36It turns out it is for Jordan Hudson.
26:38But give me this, because he keeps going on TV for the past week saying my girlfriend's
26:42not a monster.
26:43But isn't that exactly what a monster girlfriend would make you do?
26:46Okay.
26:47So I don't follow the NFL.
26:48I'm really not a sports girl.
26:49I do remember this obsession about Tom Brady's deflated
26:53balls. Back to that news story because as a journalist I
26:57remember Tom Brady's deflated balls. And where his because
27:03quite frankly a 24 year-old should not be telling a 73
27:05year-old what to do well, it's different if he hires or is a
27:08nurse.
27:09The empty come on show. Do you think she wants to be
27:16involved because she doesn't trust him around the
27:17cheerleaders at the University of North Carolina.
27:20Can I defend bill Belichick for a second here please.
27:25Wait who in our culture is allowed to have 24 year-old
27:28girlfriend old rock stars have them why not the winningest
27:31coach in history, okay, there's an upside to this relationship,
27:35I know they're making fun of him, but he has a 24 year-old
27:38girl. There's a there's a positive to that. Yes.
27:43Moral of the story don't buy a used laptop off time.
27:52I don't mean by that reference to Rob Gronkowski weighed in to
27:58say he was concerned and Belichick needs to win some
28:00games now anybody who doesn't think the NFL has a concussion
28:04problem has never heard Rob Gronkowski interviewed yeah,
28:06I mean if you show up to an intervention and Rob
28:09Gronkowski is running it. Things are not yet you're an
28:13intervention J B and it begins with me thinks this is a so
28:18give me a percentage though okay to show his point he is
28:21entitled to date whatever he wants he's a 6 time champion,
28:246 rings, although he would regret a 7th ring if you got
28:26one, but give me a percentage here what percentage love what
28:29percentage you think is money and clout 0% love but love in
28:34on the bed, a 100% you're talking about us though.
28:37Yeah, absolutely no, I'm sure that she's a real quality girl
28:41and I'm sure that the only reason he's dating her is
28:43because she manages his business.
28:46I mean don't you think it's stressful on some level though
28:52show if you're the 73 you're dating the 24 year-old you've
28:55got to worry about her leaving you for Chuck Grassley.
28:57She's like I love you, but I met this hunky senator from
29:03Iowa.
29:05It's true, I mean he's got he's got a lot on his hands now,
29:09but look he it's not as if he wasn't married right. He had
29:14broken up with his girlfriend looking for a new girlfriend,
29:17I know this these she's half the age of his kids, but
29:22you know, I've said this before okay, 7324 49 your age
29:26difference. Yeah, that is the equivalent of me dating a
29:28sonogram
29:33I mean is that okay, I don't know like I was 30 I dated a
29:3824 year-old it's tough when you're 30. When you're 73.
29:45Man, I don't know what's going on like you've got to get shots
29:48IV fluids constantly.
29:52What are the odds of you and Bella check if this breaks off
29:54it's never going to happen to happen. No I I like a man with
29:57balls. I'm just saying you should check out the women on
30:019th Avenue.
30:06Folks don't go away, we're about to play a woke new game
30:09show with comedian Charles McPhee that.
30:10Haha.
30:23We're back to FOX news Saturday night where my next guest is an
30:26instagram influencer a stand-up comedian and the only black man
30:29was ever asked to borrow my white Bronco. Charles McPhee.
30:33What is not.
30:38Make the was my dog sitter one hour you say that it sounds so
30:42bad. I mean I love bigsby was not like I was looking for a
30:46gig you're like you know, I got this dog sitting. But that
30:50doesn't sound bad bad is like Michael Vick was my dog.
30:53You're out of town and I was big city. Yes, I was how okay
30:58thank you. Yes, I'm a me and my family are on vacation make be
31:02was banging fat white. Next time we'll tell you about
31:07Jenny's ring cam sorry about that. Only fans by. Okay you're
31:13frequently brought on the show to give us a take on issues in
31:15the black community. But we didn't want you to get the
31:18feeling that we only want your take on identity politics and
31:21racial issues. So my staff created a new game for you.
31:24It is called the price is white.
31:26So I'm going to read Charles, a list of items that only white
31:34people by and I want you to guess how much they go for all
31:37right, okay, you can clap if you agree with this gas and the
31:39pricing and everything like that and it first hold on yeah
31:42go ahead if you run into a problem, yes, you're allowed to
31:45phone a white friend, his name is Tom shalhoub.
31:50There is I'm going to say I am I'm a cul-de-sac black guy so
31:54you're going to be shocked at how many of these I get right.
31:56Haha
31:59cul-de-sac black yeah, he lives in the neighborhood,
32:02but they still call the cops. Trigging white liberals okay
32:08item number one item only white people by new balanced
32:11sneakers, what do you think a pair goes for a new balance is
32:14very very popular. No and they're very stylish not see
32:19them out. I'll say
32:226570 bucks.
32:25So I said I crowd says no higher yet. You are 90 but you
32:32don't get to go.
32:34I thought it was like a final answer, you know, make the
32:36proposal to women we marry me know hey will you marry me 74
32:4199.
32:44You said 65 7. Yeah, pretty good.
32:48$10. It says you are close enough. Yeah item number 2 all
32:54right lacrosse stick.
32:55Oh God.
32:57Haha
33:02lacrosse black. Yeah, it's not that nice of a cul-de-sac no
33:06right. Let's see OK lacrosse stick.
33:10I need help here phone a white guy listen, I bought new
33:14balance shoes and a lacrosse stick recently, I don't know
33:18what they cost I just press the button.
33:19A 100 bucks.
33:25149 90 okay, yeah somewhere item number 3 something only white
33:31people by Subaru outback SUV.
33:33Actually or lesbians yeah, yeah, white lesbians. Subaru
33:46outback SUV.
33:47Here's the thing Subarus are our also very popular in the
33:51broke road comedian community there. So a lot of comic for
33:55us have them I'm going to go.
33:5930 grand.
34:00Charles mcdonough but don't you dare boo him base model,
34:03$29 and if you are a comedian, you're definitely buying the
34:12base. Okay item number 4 that only white people by a Will
34:18Smith rap CD.
34:22Say big Willie stop first of all the fact that he said CD
34:25what are we like. I mean it's going for yes, it is back in
34:30the day we're like 1399 or something like that right.
34:32So guys is 1399 is the guess I'll ask the audience is 1199
34:37close enough or is he wrong for being $2.
34:39The crowd doesn't want to look at the world that's what that's
34:48old school Wilson, a CD found today or back in the day when
34:51it was coming. You got to reach. That was 1520 years
34:55ago. All right, well Smith last hit was Chris rock.
35:03That was actually a famous moment, it was the only time in
35:05history liberals acknowledge black on black. Take the win I
35:10number 5 white people do it spray tan.
35:19Don't Tom by the way.
35:25I know what is in the game. Okay, I've dated enough white
35:30women to know that there's different levels of spray tan
35:33there it is so there's like the basic and then all the way to
35:36the we have the beach. I'm going to go. 60 bucks 60 bucks
35:42guys it came in at 50.
35:45What do you think.
35:50I'll be a majority of your answers correct. You have won
35:54an all expense trade pit to Chick-fil-a on the Sunday of
35:57your choice.
36:01A dog stole a jet ski this week, we'll tell you why Julie
36:04let him off the leash next.
36:15We're back to FOX news Saturday night where it is time for last
36:18call here we go.
36:25Okay take this this week's last call winner is a bar from
36:28Danny's hometown of Toronto. We give a shout out to the
36:32right wing sports pub in Toronto and you have been there
36:35I've been there it's right down the street from absolute
36:37comedy. Give me this then I need to know this because the
36:40e-mail says its own and managed by e-commerce and it's a
36:42I need to know this because the e-mail says its own and managed
36:44by Igor and and it is the best wings of the city 20 plus big
36:47screens of sports prettiest and friendliest servers and is a
36:49ton of fun, but all I want to know okay is it's on Yonge
36:52Street in the England area. Yeah, the guy who submitted it
36:56says he's coming to see me in Cleveland at the Gore theater
36:59in 2 weeks, okay, if a guy who hangs out on Yonge Street is
37:02coming to see me and I get extra security.
37:04I know streets along the famously the young longest
37:07street in the world. I was actually yeah, so we're okay
37:09that yeah, you're good you're good young streets like our
37:11crappy version of Broadway.
37:14Toronto Times Square. I'm going to meet and greet a fake
37:19pocket. Well this week's video honoree goes to a jet ski
37:24operator who may not have been licensed to operate it look at
37:27this.
37:27So that was a dog. Yeah on a jet ski. Yeah, the dog was
37:41trying to escape Haitians in Springfield, Ohio.
37:50Sad ending unfortunately, Kristi noem shot him.
37:52You've got to hit both sides. That's how comedy works.
37:59Yeah, Julie Bender us. We love you who will have more drinks
38:04on Saturday night, you or the owner who let this dog drive a
38:07jet ski.
38:09I'm going to go with me.
38:12Still you yeah, and that's me driving sober so blame the dog
38:17shalom I don't believe this video I think it was rigged
38:19everyone's making fake videos. Internet now. I at this point,
38:24I can't trust anything I don't even think Fonzie you know
38:28jump to that tank of sharks. I think that was faked very
38:33conspiratorial tonight, Tom Shalhoub I think the yeah,
38:37how much does a dog on a jet ski cost.
38:44I'm not I'm not that called a sack like I don't know.
38:47I will say I'm not impressed, I'm not impressed at all that
38:50has nothing on on the time that I let Bigsby drive your white
38:53Bronco.
38:55I was way more impressive. You love my dog. Now Danny this
39:01actually happened in Florida.
39:03For all really haha right, this is probably not top 10 weird
39:09things to have on a Florida jet ski this absolutely not I
39:12wonder how the Coast Guard gives that dog to you I that's
39:14what I want to know well, it's odd that you mentioned the
39:16Coast Guard, the reason the dogs out there patrolling is
39:19Elon Musk doge the Coast Guard.
39:20Haha
39:24so they said well like it was true. Yeah, I got a golden
39:29retriever going on. But this is the best thing about the
39:32Internet, you know a dog and this is how the Internet
39:34started it was a cat stuck to a ceiling fan, a dog on a jet
39:38swim back shouldn't social media declare like human
39:41moratoriums where we go back to pets only weekends or something
39:44like that something at least it's something that people
39:46don't fight about although somebody will find some some
39:49sort of reason to complain like this is animal abuse. Peter
39:52hasn't come out and then like he doesn't have a work permit.
39:55The fact that Peter hasn't come out might confirm shallow
39:58suspicion that it was fake show. Yes, the being told by
40:03somebody by his owner and someone else was there with the
40:05with the camera and I think we need to stop exploiting our
40:09golden retriever. Remote controlled I don't think it was
40:12told you're taking this way too seriously Lewis standing up to
40:15the big dog. I'm sadly we're out of time we can't even
40:20crack the case did you want to add one thing no content is
40:23King baby that's all the work are you saying we should have
40:27led with that next time to get those numbers up all right
40:30definitely. Next time you think about booking a black guy just
40:33get me a dog on a jet.
40:36Thanks for watching Fox news Saturday night with Jimmy
40:37Phelan don't forget to get tickets to my stand-up tour at
40:39Fox across America dot com one more time for Tom Julie Danny
40:43and Charles.
40:46We'll be right back here again next Saturday at 10PM until
40:48that you can be a Republican you can be a Democrat.
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