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Transcript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:12What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:16Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:26Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:29What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:00:32it to your penniless self?
00:00:34And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:38Alright, everybody get out!
00:00:41We got an important guest coming!
00:00:45You!
00:00:50You deaf?
00:00:51I said pack up and scram!
00:00:52I paid the staff here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have
00:00:57to compensate for today's losses.
00:01:00You want to say that again?
00:01:03You know who's visiting today?
00:01:06Ellen freakin' Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:09Ellen Musk?
00:01:10Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:13Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:17Really?
00:01:18Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market?
00:01:22You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:27Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:01:30Coming to see you?
00:01:31Alright, you know what, I'll play your game.
00:01:34If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:41Deal.
00:01:50Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes, or else, you're fired.
00:01:57Hmm.
00:02:14Prepare the limo.
00:02:15Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:24Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:26Good.
00:02:27Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:29Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:41Ellen!
00:02:42Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk, uh, Ellen, uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:50How's my boss bitch?
00:02:52Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:02:53So, how do you, like...
00:02:57She's my boss?
00:02:58Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:03No way.
00:03:07Well?
00:03:12No, no, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:14No, I won't do it again.
00:03:19Alright, that's enough.
00:03:20We're not tyrants here.
00:03:23Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:36You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:38The honorary bride.
00:03:41You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:46Who are you?
00:03:49Where is she?
00:03:51Atlanta.
00:03:53And you were right.
00:03:54It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:56My clever bride.
00:03:58I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:04Max, prep the jet.
00:04:07I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:12Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move.
00:04:14He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:16Atlanta?
00:04:17The game is afoot.
00:04:18I'm going.
00:04:20Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:22Wait, I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:28Dr. Wilson!
00:04:35General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:04:38Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:41Atlanta!
00:04:43Where is that?
00:04:45Whatever, prepare my warplanes.
00:04:47Those two are going after my fiancee.
00:04:50This is war.
00:04:52No!
00:05:07I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:13Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:15This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:18That project is worth billions.
00:05:20He can finally take his company public.
00:05:22But, Angela.
00:05:24My boss.
00:05:26I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:32Without your backing.
00:05:34No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:37Well, three years ago.
00:05:52You saved me.
00:05:58He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:03I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:10But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:16So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:19I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:24But why work at the flea market?
00:06:27Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:31Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:36Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:40You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:45Where the hell are you?
00:06:47Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:50Get home, stat.
00:06:52It's a big day today.
00:06:54That was...
00:06:56My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:06:58She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:01But I'm not a lower-class family.
00:07:04I'm not a low-class family.
00:07:06I'm not a low-class family.
00:07:07She thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:09But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:15You know, she even remembered our 30-year anniversary.
00:07:23Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:27Hi, I'm home.
00:07:29I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:32Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:34Divorce papers?
00:07:37Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:40Oh, God.
00:07:42Don't call me Mom again.
00:07:44We're ending that relationship.
00:07:46Just look at you.
00:07:48Dirt all over.
00:07:50You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:52You don't deserve my son.
00:07:54You're way below his league.
00:07:56I'm below his league?
00:07:58That's right.
00:08:00You are.
00:08:02Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
00:08:08And then his company is going public.
00:08:11That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:14But you?
00:08:16You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:08:19Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:22And you?
00:08:24You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:27Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:30Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:33But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:36You're delusional.
00:08:38You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:41How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:08:46Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:50And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:57You're nothing.
00:08:59You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:09:05Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:09:08Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:10Enough!
00:09:12Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:16But I am.
00:09:18Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:20Here's $500,000.
00:09:22You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:25Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:28Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:32I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:36Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:39Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:42Fine.
00:09:44Here's another $200,000.
00:09:46$500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:49She's done nothing.
00:09:51Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:53She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:56Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:10:00I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:04You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:09And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:10:13A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:17What a joke.
00:10:19If you actually love my son,
00:10:21you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:24And leave.
00:10:27You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:10:32Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:35I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:38Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:45It's all my work.
00:10:48Baby.
00:10:49Baby.
00:10:51We're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:57You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:02So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:06She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:10Fine.
00:11:12I'll sign it.
00:11:14But don't regret it.
00:11:17Regret?
00:11:19Do you know who I am?
00:11:21Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:25I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:29Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:35Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:11:38It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:43You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:46Social stratum matters.
00:11:49Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:52And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:56And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:12:01Ha! You're delusional.
00:12:04Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:10You owe me.
00:12:12You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:19You hit me.
00:12:24Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:42I don't need your pity money.
00:12:46We're finished.
00:12:47You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:50Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:54But I would like my ring back.
00:13:05Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:17And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:24Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:28It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:32Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:35Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:37You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:41Congrats, Jared Boo Boo.
00:13:44On getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:47Oh! My dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:54Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk?
00:13:57Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:02Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:04Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:21Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:26Vanderbilt?
00:14:27Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:14:31Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:34You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:38That's exactly why I'm going.
00:15:01Angela Lockhart.
00:15:04I finally found you.
00:15:07Who is he?
00:15:09That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:12He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:18Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:21And he's your fiancΓ©.
00:15:24What? My fiancΓ©?
00:15:28The one and only.
00:15:30So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:36have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:15:47That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:53What is she doing here?
00:15:56You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:03Divorced?
00:16:05That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:11Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:15So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:18Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:20Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:22She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:28How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:16:31Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:34Do you know who I am?
00:16:37They don't know who you are.
00:16:40You hide it well.
00:16:42X-Team!
00:16:44Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:47Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:50Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:56You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:03Mind if I, uh, borrow your men?
00:17:10Chelsea's ill-mannered ex out.
00:17:13You bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:18I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:25A kiss as a reward, my lady?
00:17:29No.
00:17:37Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:40You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:17:44Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:48Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:49Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:17:52What an honor.
00:17:54I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:56It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:58Congrats. You'll be next.
00:18:01But we haven't received the contract yet, but we deserve it.
00:18:04Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:07Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:11So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:15Thank you, Mr. Manville.
00:18:17Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:21Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:26Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:29Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:38I'll do my best.
00:18:41Excuse me.
00:18:42Second gentleman.
00:18:44What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:49How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:51Me? A hobo?
00:18:53How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:56You sleep your way in?
00:18:57I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:19:00Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:03Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:05This is your ex-husband?
00:19:09What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:11Who the hell is this?
00:19:13You were cheating on me?
00:19:25Son, you have to avenge me and Kate.
00:19:29I'm sorry.
00:19:31I'm sorry.
00:19:32Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:35That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:41They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:55You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:20:00Get your hands off of her.
00:20:02Get your hands off of her.
00:20:06My lady.
00:20:21My queen.
00:20:32It's...
00:20:34It's him!
00:20:36He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:39Who are these peasants?
00:20:41These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
00:20:46Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:49You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:53Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:55That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:56You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:21:00His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:21:04This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:08Vanderbilt.
00:21:10The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:14who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:19That the Lee Vanderbilt family?
00:21:21Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:21:27Whatever.
00:21:29Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:21:41How dare he!
00:21:43I'm sorry.
00:21:44I'm sorry.
00:21:45I'm sorry.
00:21:46I'm sorry.
00:21:48I'm sorry.
00:21:49How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:52I'm Harvey F. N. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:58I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:02And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:06Not with me around.
00:22:08I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:13You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:17You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:21We've had enough of your games.
00:22:23Security!
00:22:24Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:27Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:22:30But don't worry.
00:22:31You got new money here.
00:22:35I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:37Yes, my queen.
00:22:40You're all despicable.
00:22:43An insult to your family names.
00:22:47Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:51Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:54Cut off all business ties.
00:22:56And if you don't,
00:22:59I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:04I knew it.
00:23:05You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:07You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:09How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:13You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:17You have nothing, and you will always be nothing.
00:23:22She's a gold digger.
00:23:24Gold digger?
00:23:25Gigolo.
00:23:27Wanna try me for a night?
00:23:30Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:32Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:35They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:38Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:40I'm not here to try and ruin my bid on the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:42Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:45Security!
00:23:51Security!
00:23:53You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:56And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:58You!
00:24:00Insolent fools.
00:24:03Let me guess.
00:24:04You're that special guest?
00:24:06I don't know.
00:24:09Throw them out!
00:24:10And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:19Back to our next.
00:24:24I got this.
00:24:39Whoa!
00:24:43Hey!
00:24:44Hey!
00:24:45No!
00:24:52What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:54I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:56No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:59Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:25:09Angela!
00:25:11Don't hurt her!
00:25:13You bitch.
00:25:14I've always been sick of you.
00:25:15You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:17How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:19Boss?
00:25:20Did she say her boss?
00:25:22Miss Musk?
00:25:23That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:25That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:28My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:31Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:34Past the American Revolution?
00:25:36Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:38If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:41That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:43She's royalty.
00:25:44And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:48What are you going to do?
00:25:50Kneel to me.
00:25:51Oh, your majesty.
00:25:54Welcome to the United States.
00:25:57We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:26:00Yes, your highness.
00:26:02Is it a queen or princess?
00:26:05It doesn't matter.
00:26:07My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:10We didn't mean to offend.
00:26:13What are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:15Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:28What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:37She's a badass herself.
00:26:39He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:41You.
00:26:42You.
00:26:43You told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:46Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:49No.
00:26:50No.
00:26:51Don't believe their lies.
00:26:52I worked hard for everything.
00:26:53You worked for everything?
00:27:00I'm sorry.
00:27:01I'm sorry.
00:27:02I'm sorry.
00:27:03I'm sorry.
00:27:04I'm sorry.
00:27:05I'm sorry.
00:27:06I'm sorry.
00:27:08Hi, honey.
00:27:10So, our 30th anniversary is coming up, and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:27:15I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:17I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Closet project.
00:27:20And if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:31You were nothing before me.
00:27:34All your achievements, all your glory.
00:27:37That's all mine, including the Maple Closet contract.
00:27:42I can take all of that away just like that.
00:27:46No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:48That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:52Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:56Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:58It was Queen Victoria's, and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:04Oh, I gave you back the ring?
00:28:11I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:14No!
00:28:15No!
00:28:16Please!
00:28:17No!
00:28:18No!
00:28:19Please take me back, baby!
00:28:20I still love you!
00:28:24Oh, man.
00:28:25Looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:27No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower!
00:28:34God, these two again.
00:28:37Did he say... is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:40President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:42After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:44each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:28:48the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:50Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:52Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:53I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:55Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:28:58And that there is...
00:29:00that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:04He's Dr. House's protege!
00:29:06Dr. House?
00:29:07Yes.
00:29:08I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:09Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:29:11Yep, that's me.
00:29:12Son of James House.
00:29:14Dr. House?
00:29:15He's practically my uncle.
00:29:16I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:20So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands
00:29:24for the last 20 years.
00:29:26And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:33Hey, Ellen.
00:29:34Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:37Uh, they're all your fiancΓ©es.
00:29:41What?
00:29:42FiancΓ©es?
00:29:45Plural?
00:29:46FiancΓ©es?
00:29:47Plural?
00:29:49Watch it, nerds!
00:29:50I'm her fiancΓ©e!
00:29:52Watch it, nerds!
00:29:54I'm her fiancΓ©e!
00:29:55No, I'm her fiancΓ©e!
00:29:57You can both shut up!
00:29:58I'm her fiancΓ©e!
00:30:00It's you!
00:30:01It's me!
00:30:02Who the hell is he?
00:30:03I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:05How are all three of these men my fiancΓ©e?
00:30:10Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you
00:30:14because he decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:18She has three badass fiancΓ©es and she marries this dumbass?
00:30:25Whatever.
00:30:26Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:31Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:36At your service!
00:30:38Me too.
00:30:44One down, two more to go.
00:30:46She's become queen!
00:30:47Bishop to G4.
00:30:52Ow!
00:30:53Ow!
00:30:54Ow!
00:30:55What is that?
00:30:56The most German-fest water in the Nile River.
00:31:02Rook to A8.
00:31:08Hello?
00:31:11I thought I was king!
00:31:13No, you wish.
00:31:14The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
00:31:17Oh, fine.
00:31:22Bankrupt to four.
00:31:23It's right this second.
00:31:29I...
00:31:31I've been bankrupt!
00:31:33No!
00:31:41I've been bankrupt!
00:31:43No!
00:31:45I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:49Well, guess what?
00:31:50Game over.
00:31:51Alright, boys.
00:31:53Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:55Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:57I'm right with you!
00:32:00Wait for me!
00:32:01Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:32:03Angela!
00:32:07You already have three fiancΓ©es?
00:32:10You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:12I...
00:32:14want compensation.
00:32:17You greedy SOB.
00:32:19Who the fuck is that?
00:32:20My ex-husband.
00:32:22Wait, you were married?
00:32:23Yeah.
00:32:24And...
00:32:25I'm single.
00:32:27I'm single.
00:32:28I'm single.
00:32:30I'm single.
00:32:31I'm single.
00:32:32And if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:36More for me?
00:32:37No, no.
00:32:38Of course not.
00:32:39Just...
00:32:40Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:42Don't steal my joke!
00:32:43I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:45All evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:49What?
00:32:50Is there something on my face?
00:32:51Uh, yeah.
00:32:52Murderous intent.
00:32:54Let's remarry.
00:32:56Let's remarry.
00:32:58You still don't realize.
00:33:00I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:31Sir!
00:33:32It's an emergency!
00:33:33We need to wreck right away!
00:33:35Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:39Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:43She should be okay now.
00:33:48Hey, you!
00:33:49Watch over here.
00:33:51I'll be right back.
00:33:52You saved me.
00:33:55Fuck.
00:33:57I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:00Fuck.
00:34:02I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:04You've cheated on me.
00:34:06You've hit me.
00:34:07And you've insulted me.
00:34:09And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:34:12I fucking hate you.
00:34:14Fuck.
00:34:16Fuck.
00:34:18Fuck.
00:34:20Fuck.
00:34:22I fucking hate you.
00:34:24The lady lock on.
00:34:26What?
00:34:27What now?
00:34:29Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person.
00:34:33But if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:37How about us three?
00:34:39Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:34:42Yeah, no.
00:34:44You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:46This is your fault, you doofus!
00:34:49We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:34:50No.
00:34:52No.
00:34:54We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the lock on.
00:34:58Oh, please.
00:35:00I'll get you for this!
00:35:07I never should have listened to you.
00:35:09I'm ruined because of you!
00:35:20So...
00:35:22What's the situation here?
00:35:24I don't want to marry you!
00:35:34I don't want to marry you!
00:35:37Listen.
00:35:39I only met you guys a few hours ago.
00:35:42And I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:45What?
00:35:47What if I told you?
00:35:48What if I told you...
00:35:50That we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:54Much longer?
00:35:58Angela?
00:36:00Your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:36:06My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:09Look, your mother and I are in Italy!
00:36:11The views here are absolutely stunning!
00:36:14Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:16I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking, freeloader husband of yours.
00:36:24Can't call his name, but...
00:36:27Anyway, congratulations!
00:36:29I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:34You must pick one of them to marry.
00:36:37Otherwise...
00:36:39Let me do it.
00:36:41You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:43Otherwise...
00:36:44We'll kill ourselves.
00:36:46Mom!
00:36:48Alright honey, that's it!
00:36:50Bye! Bye!
00:36:55So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:59Well...
00:37:01What if I want all three of you?
00:37:04Well...
00:37:06What if I want all three of you?
00:37:10That seems greedy.
00:37:14But...
00:37:16I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:19Hey!
00:37:21I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:37:24I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:28Well, okay.
00:37:30No murder, please.
00:37:32I was just kidding.
00:37:34You have seven days to win her over.
00:37:37Ooh!
00:37:39It's like The Bachelorette!
00:37:41I know!
00:37:42I know!
00:37:44We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:47Welcome to the show, The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:37:51Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:55What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:59You'll see.
00:38:08Oh my God! Oh my God! Cockroaches!
00:38:11All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:38:14And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:19What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single woman,
00:38:24but screaming her head off heiress?
00:38:34Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:38:37It's up to the final two!
00:38:41Ooh!
00:39:02Crunchy.
00:39:04That is sick cold.
00:39:06Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:11There are two more left.
00:39:13Want to try one?
00:39:14God, no! No!
00:39:17Oh my God, save me!
00:39:19Save you? You're going to save me!
00:39:22Ah!
00:39:24I'm a German folk doctor.
00:39:26These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:28They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:41Oh, thank God you're here.
00:39:45Are you alright, honey?
00:39:47Angela!
00:39:51Alright, you won the first challenge, so you're a reward.
00:39:55You get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:58Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:40:01I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:03You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:04Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:08At least my girl can get some.
00:40:10I bet her husband has a small dick, anyway.
00:40:14The cockroaches!
00:40:16They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:18There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:21I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:29I'm sorry.
00:40:31I'm sorry.
00:40:32I need a drink.
00:40:41Whoa, easy!
00:40:43You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:45Oh, why do you care?
00:40:47I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:52You guys were right.
00:40:54I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:40:57You know, I wasted it.
00:41:00I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:41:04He never even loved me.
00:41:06And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:12Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:20You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:25What?
00:41:26What?
00:41:30You're number one here.
00:41:37You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:41Lies.
00:41:44You all just want something from me.
00:41:51Angela.
00:41:53I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:56But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:42:03I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:05I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:42:12I just need you.
00:42:16I'll prove my love to you within six days.
00:42:18I promise.
00:42:26Screw the contest.
00:42:28I just want love.
00:42:31Angela.
00:42:33You're drunk.
00:42:35I'm an adult.
00:42:36Can't a girl just get what she wants?
00:42:39Okay.
00:42:44But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:48Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:42:51This is what you want.
00:43:22Nine-inch penis.
00:43:24Morning to you too.
00:43:26You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:28You wouldn't...
00:43:29A girl remembers when she's had a nine-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:35Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:38But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:41Because then...
00:43:43I don't know.
00:43:45I don't know.
00:43:47I don't know.
00:43:49I don't know.
00:43:50Because then they would...
00:43:52Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:54Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:57I won the first challenge.
00:43:59And according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:04Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:44:10You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:14Stop.
00:44:17Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:20I won't tell.
00:44:23But only on one condition.
00:44:27I won't tell.
00:44:29But only on one condition.
00:44:32You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:35Fine.
00:44:39I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:43You never noticed me.
00:44:45Oh.
00:44:47You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:52It's only 7am.
00:44:54She's still sleeping.
00:44:56I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:58Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancΓ© be alone with another man for another second.
00:45:02Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:04Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:45:07Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:09What's up, guys?
00:45:11We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:13We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:15No cockroaches this time.
00:45:17Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:19That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:21This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:23I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:25The second challenge is...
00:45:27The second challenge is...
00:45:29A date.
00:45:31Lame. I should have asked for something else.
00:45:33A date? That's it.
00:45:35What's the catch?
00:45:37No catch. Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:40As simple as that.
00:45:41Let's start with me first.
00:45:43Okay, who's up first?
00:45:45Me. Save the best for last.
00:45:47Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:49Then it's decided.
00:45:54Please don't take my BMW away!
00:45:57Too bad. You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:46:00I have nothing left!
00:46:11It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:46:16It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:46:26General Eisenhower, sir!
00:46:28At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:30This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:33Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:35He's so serious. But hang on.
00:46:38Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:41Baby! I decided to take you here on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:46Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:46:49Yes. Murder weapons.
00:47:11You like my guns, babe?
00:47:13Pretty Lockhart.
00:47:15Yeah.
00:47:17Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:19Lieutenant! Come close!
00:47:21Wait! You're just going to hit him like that? He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:25Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:47:27Treason? You guys are way too serious.
00:47:30Look, you Lockhart bitch! I caught you!
00:47:33If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:47:36Lieutenant, pincer attack!
00:47:41Ah!
00:47:44You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:48I will make you pay!
00:47:51If you don't need to keep beating him up, we could just take him to the cops.
00:47:55I'm not going to try to hurt you!
00:48:03So he's a bit violent. Sometimes he's a bit violent.
00:48:06So he's a bit violent. Some might call it being protective.
00:48:09Poor anger issues.
00:48:11What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:48:15Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:18Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:20I don't know if I am.
00:48:23Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:28Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:36Hey.
00:48:38Hey.
00:48:40Cool ride.
00:48:42A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:45Impressive.
00:48:49Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:52Refreshing.
00:48:54I got cool mint, too.
00:48:56Or do you prefer Spearmint?
00:48:59What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:02Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:49:05So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:49:07Let me show you.
00:49:15Dr. Wilson!
00:49:17Our VIP of VIPs!
00:49:19Right this way.
00:49:21VIP of VIPs?
00:49:23Ah, just some other guy I saved. I forget who.
00:49:26You saved a lot of people.
00:49:28I do what I can.
00:49:30Oh my gosh!
00:49:32It's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:35Sandra Miller.
00:49:37What are you doing here?
00:49:39I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:41Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:43and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:48Hello of you.
00:49:50What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:52Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:54I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high end,
00:49:57you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:50:00The auction begins.
00:50:02I'll deal with you.
00:50:03Please, I'll deal with you later.
00:50:06Here, I'll just be outside.
00:50:13Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:50:18Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:21Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:23Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:50:27For five million dollars.
00:50:30Excuse me.
00:50:31I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:34It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:36I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:39It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:41What are you doing?
00:50:43Just watch.
00:50:49That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:52Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:55She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:58You work at a flea market?
00:51:00Not this again.
00:51:02Cut the bullshit, that wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:05Oh yeah? Here, you want it? For free.
00:51:08Ew, I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:12Well, that's too bad then, because you are the fraud.
00:51:17What are you talking about? Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:21Throw them out.
00:51:23Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine, but we're professionals.
00:51:28Oh yeah?
00:51:30And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:33Yeah, mine is the real thing.
00:51:36You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:51:41Why is that so?
00:51:43When a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:46Dear Lord, this is real.
00:51:51It's authentic. It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:54Cameron, what have you found?
00:51:57Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me? It's a replica.
00:52:03They have the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:06So, you are the fraud.
00:52:10You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:13And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:17150.
00:52:19Wow, not even five dollars.
00:52:21Sandra.
00:52:23You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:26Arrest her!
00:52:28No! Please! Even just this one time! Please!
00:52:32What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:34Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:52:39Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:51I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:54Me too. May I have a kiss?
00:53:12Something wrong?
00:53:14Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:21Yep. You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:53:34You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:39I don't have any money.
00:53:41How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:44I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:51Stop!
00:53:55Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:59Mr. Buffett.
00:54:04This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:07That's right. Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:10I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:54:13I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:54:16No, no. Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:19It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:22Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:25And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:31Angelo still loves me. She's just throwing a fit. She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:36Yeah. Do you need any help winning her back? We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:41I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago, and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:46It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:49Sure. I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:53I just need...
00:54:54Anything. You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:57Once I take everything from these idiots, I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:09I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:55:13Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:16I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:18That contract has a preliminary clause. It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:55:24And if he can't, then what?
00:55:26He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:28So as long as he's greedy, I have to take it.
00:55:31I'm avenging my best friend. I want to show the world that without Angelo Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:38I signed the Maple Plaza Project. We should celebrate.
00:55:43You did? You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:47That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:55:51And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:54Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:55:59What?
00:56:01I'm sorry.
00:56:02It's thanks to Angela.
00:56:05What?
00:56:07You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:10Oh, no, no, no. He's not.
00:56:12Jared, what are you doing? You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:18It's my decision, Mom. I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:22I'm telling my dad.
00:56:24Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:56:27If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as a side piece. But if not, you can scram.
00:56:32Dad, Jared is being mean to me. Teach him a lesson.
00:56:37Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:39Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:43Don't get on his bad side. We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:47So do as he says.
00:56:49Dad!
00:56:56I'm sorry.
00:56:58Be your side piece.
00:56:59Very good. I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:02Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:06I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:11But that tongue action, though. Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:57:16Ellen, we aren't in public.
00:57:18It's true.
00:57:20Stomach ache.
00:57:22Again?
00:57:23I have to run to the bathroom. Devon should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:26Okay.
00:57:28Devon's late.
00:57:30Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:34This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:39It's her.
00:57:40And she's alone. With no one to save her.
00:57:45You whore. You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:57:48Let me tell you.
00:57:50I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:58Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:58:02Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:58:05What? Why do I have to leave? She's the one starting shit.
00:58:08Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:11You're just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:58:14And my son just signed a $100,000 contract.
00:58:16He still got the contract?
00:58:19Hmm. Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:22Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:26Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:28Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:32Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:36You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:42My maid wouldn't even notice.
00:58:44As if it's your own.
00:58:46My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:49$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:52$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:55$5,000 to beat her away.
00:59:01Oh, hey! Hey!
00:59:06You okay? Are you hurt?
00:59:12Weakling.
00:59:13You! You! Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:18And now you have two more? What a whore.
00:59:21What a whore.
00:59:23Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:26What if she has an STD?
00:59:28Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:32Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:35Hang on.
00:59:37What do you want?
00:59:39I'll scream!
00:59:40I don't hit women.
00:59:42But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:45But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:47I said I don't kill women.
00:59:50Oh, God. He is a murderer.
00:59:53What if he murders me?
00:59:55Not him. Definitely not him.
01:00:00We're not afraid of you.
01:00:03That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:00:05You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:10You're just messing with them.
01:00:12Was he, though?
01:00:14We're not afraid of you.
01:00:16Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:00:18Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:21She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:00:23Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:00:25I apologize for this scene.
01:00:27I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:00:31Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:33Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:35The potty crashes.
01:00:37You have any idea who that is?
01:00:39That's my wife.
01:00:41We saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:44That's right.
01:00:46No, you're playing.
01:00:47Shut up.
01:00:49She's cheating on you.
01:00:51No, your place. You're just a side piece.
01:00:54If I still want you, that is.
01:00:56Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:58This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:01:00You slap her for this whore?
01:01:02Mom!
01:01:04They really think there's something, huh?
01:01:05Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:09She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:12I only got the Maple Closet Project because she gave it to me.
01:01:16What?
01:01:18You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:27I'm sorry.
01:01:29No.
01:01:31This can't be.
01:01:33This can't be.
01:01:35I made you divorce.
01:01:39Go home.
01:01:41You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:49I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:52Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:56I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:59I didn't come here for you.
01:02:01I'm on a date.
01:02:03A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:07She really is a whore.
01:02:09Angela, please forgive me.
01:02:11I really do love you.
01:02:14Oh ho!
01:02:16Lady Knockout is here!
01:02:18Oh ho!
01:02:20Lady Knockout is here!
01:02:22Yeah, yeah, we already know you beat Ford's ass.
01:02:26We're too old for that.
01:02:28They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:29Please, you gave me the contract.
01:02:31So if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:35Oh yes, please, Ms. Lockhart.
01:02:37Join us.
01:02:39We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:41What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:43Where were you?
01:02:45Stomach issues.
01:02:47Again?
01:02:49Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:51No.
01:02:53Let me make myself clear.
01:02:55Okay?
01:02:56I would rather die than be with you again.
01:03:00Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:04I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:03:06Otherwise, they'll cut me off too.
01:03:08Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:03:10I'll prove it to you.
01:03:12You want a chance?
01:03:14Angela, no.
01:03:16You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:03:18Don't take him back.
01:03:20I'll give you two choices.
01:03:24I'll give you two choices.
01:03:26Me.
01:03:28Or the contract.
01:03:30You're kidding me.
01:03:32No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:34If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:38But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:03:42The choice is all yours.
01:03:44That's a tough choice.
01:03:46You think so?
01:03:48He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:51Either way, he benefits.
01:03:53Why can't I have both?
01:03:55You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:57Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:03:59I deserve the contract.
01:04:01Did you really?
01:04:07Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:09He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:11Wait, what are you talking about?
01:04:13I, uh, I choose the contract.
01:04:16I knew it.
01:04:18You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:20With this contract, you'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:23With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:28Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:31I will get you one day.
01:04:33Let me show you something.
01:04:46You saved me.
01:04:47I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:04:53But I promise you,
01:04:55I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:04:58No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:05:00I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:10I'm sorry.
01:05:12I'm sorry.
01:05:14I'm sorry.
01:05:16I'm sorry.
01:05:19Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:23What? Me?
01:05:25Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:05:28No way.
01:05:30You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:33You're crazy.
01:05:35And actually,
01:05:37they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:40What?
01:05:43Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:46Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:49Put it simply,
01:05:51they've been stealing from you.
01:05:53I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:55Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:58I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:06:01No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:06:04You like me to punish them for you?
01:06:06Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:06:09Max,
01:06:11you know what to do.
01:06:16The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:19All business ties have been severed.
01:06:21We're bankrupt!
01:06:25How did you do that?
01:06:27Who are you?
01:06:29And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:32I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:35I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:37I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:39I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:41I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:43I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:44I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:48I am
01:06:50Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:06:52What did he say he was?
01:06:54That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:56You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:06:58Well,
01:07:00I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:07:02See? You are number one at something.
01:07:04The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:07Forget Forbes's list.
01:07:09It's all about young money now.
01:07:11So,
01:07:12how about our date?
01:07:18I'm not letting anyone up me on this one.
01:07:21I'll spy too.
01:07:35They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:38I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:07:41100 billion dollar project?
01:07:43Yes!
01:07:45I'm rich!
01:07:47They'll make them all pay soon!
01:07:54What?
01:07:56Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:58The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide
01:08:0050% of the costs up front.
01:08:02Otherwise, it's a breach of contract
01:08:04and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:06No!
01:08:08Bankrupt?
01:08:09I'm just a little odd card.
01:08:11You tricked me!
01:08:18Allow me.
01:08:22I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:24I had to get some very important materials
01:08:27for our special date.
01:08:30Well, cheers.
01:08:32Cheers.
01:08:39This looks good.
01:08:45Did you use my spices?
01:08:47I know your ex-in-laws never appreciated you.
01:08:52You can have all the money and power in the world
01:08:55and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:08:59I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:06Angela?
01:09:07Angela?
01:09:10Your future with me?
01:09:14It's gonna be different.
01:09:16Come on.
01:09:18Upstairs!
01:09:20Okay.
01:09:37Wow.
01:09:39Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on
01:09:42these past few years
01:09:44just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:47Angela.
01:09:48I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:51Actually,
01:09:53I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:55That's right.
01:09:57I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:59How is all of this possible?
01:10:02I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:05Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:10:10I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:12You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:15Despite who you were,
01:10:17you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:21Are you trying to get hired
01:10:24at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:29All you do is babble on and on
01:10:32about Internet money, Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:10:37Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:40I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:42I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:46Hey! Get away from him!
01:10:48Angela!
01:10:50Feisty girl.
01:10:52I like her.
01:11:03How is he?
01:11:05It's a rare poison
01:11:07made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:09Osh to God. Salty food.
01:11:10Can it be cured?
01:11:12I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:14It sounds really scary,
01:11:16but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:18Household salt.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:31What time is it?
01:11:34Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:40I like her.
01:11:42We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:44So that's how I,
01:11:46well, we,
01:11:48all met.
01:11:50I barely remember.
01:11:52Should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:54Matthew Richards,
01:11:56the guy who poisoned me,
01:11:58attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:00You wouldn't have known.
01:12:02I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:04That makes you feel any better.
01:12:06Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:08Angela,
01:12:10your seven days is almost up.
01:12:12Now that you know they all loved
01:12:14and fought for you for three years,
01:12:16who will you pick?
01:12:21How couldn't it be?
01:12:23Angela Lockhart
01:12:25is an heiress?
01:12:31Kaylee,
01:12:33we've come bankrupt.
01:12:35Bankrupt?
01:12:36Bankrupt?
01:12:38The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:12:40Well then,
01:12:42get out of here.
01:12:44You can't do this to me.
01:12:48Jared.
01:12:49Mom, it's me.
01:12:51What happened?
01:12:53Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:55Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:57You should get back with your wife.
01:12:59We're bankrupt.
01:13:01What?
01:13:02Jared Cooper.
01:13:04We're here to
01:13:06repost your belongings.
01:13:08No one is going to save you now.
01:13:10Mom!
01:13:12Mom!
01:13:15What kind of an asshole
01:13:17throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:22Who will you pick?
01:13:25I...
01:13:27I...
01:13:29I...
01:13:31I...
01:13:36I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:38Fried chicken?
01:13:40Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:42Yeah, he's right.
01:13:44I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:46Sucking up last minute.
01:13:48At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:50Hey, stop.
01:13:52Stop.
01:13:54Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:13:56I mean,
01:13:58the three badasses who want me.
01:13:59Angela Lockhart,
01:14:01you know what I mean.
01:14:03Today,
01:14:05our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:14:07which one of our three badasses
01:14:09will she marry.
01:14:11Will it be Shane,
01:14:13the doctor?
01:14:15Cole,
01:14:17the general?
01:14:19Or Devin,
01:14:21the CEO?
01:14:24Uh, looks like our bachelorette
01:14:26may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:27Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:29But when she does,
01:14:31she will take this eternal rose
01:14:33made from glass imported from Venice
01:14:35and give it to our winner,
01:14:37Angela.
01:14:40Angela.
01:14:42Oh,
01:14:44I...
01:14:46I need more time to think.
01:14:52While our bachelorette
01:14:54takes a little time to decide,
01:14:56why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:58Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:15:01Let's start with Cole.
01:15:03Cole.
01:15:07There's not much to say.
01:15:09Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:15:11who has huge biceps,
01:15:13a massive chest,
01:15:15who would protect their
01:15:17wife?
01:15:19Okay.
01:15:23Uh, Shane?
01:15:24Muscles,
01:15:26money,
01:15:28they won't get you so far.
01:15:30But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:15:32that has more than one way
01:15:34to keep a lady happy,
01:15:36if you know what I mean.
01:15:38Okay.
01:15:40I think we do.
01:15:42And Devin?
01:15:44That was quite disgusting.
01:15:48I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:50I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:15:52a lot of choices to make,
01:15:54and she's my queen.
01:15:56I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:58And then one more thing.
01:16:00What kind of a doctor
01:16:02brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:04That's a good point.
01:16:06It's bad for her heart.
01:16:08And then you!
01:16:10What?
01:16:12You know what they say about military men.
01:16:14They beat their wives.
01:16:19No!
01:16:21I'm sorry.
01:16:23Stand up!
01:16:26Hey, you guys.
01:16:28Whoa, break it up!
01:16:30Hey!
01:16:32Break it up!
01:16:33Ugh!
01:16:35Ugh!
01:16:37Cut to commercial!
01:16:39Cut to commercial!
01:16:40Cut to commercial!
01:16:57This is the hardest decision
01:16:59I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:17:02Who do I choose?
01:17:10Angela's marrying me.
01:17:12You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:14Oh yeah?
01:17:16I may be a doctor,
01:17:18but like I said,
01:17:20I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:24What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:26Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:28I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:30I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:32Don't forget about me.
01:17:34It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:36These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:39They do not.
01:17:41They do not help.
01:17:43Who made these?
01:18:02It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:05I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:08And I have the power of...
01:18:11Telekinesis!
01:18:27We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:29We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:44This battle within our heads
01:18:46is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:48I may not be able to take them both down
01:18:50if they decide to team up.
01:18:52Hmm. Wintermate or Coolmate?
01:18:59You know,
01:19:01I've always really liked your hair.
01:19:03Really?
01:19:05I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:08So I appreciate that.
01:19:10Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:12And you know, cool,
01:19:14I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:16Really?
01:19:18Yeah.
01:19:21What do you got for me?
01:19:23I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:19:26Yeah?
01:19:27Yeah, yeah.
01:19:29Yeah, yeah.
01:19:31You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:34You need me to look at you?
01:19:36Hey, me?
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:40Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:42It was Jerry Cooper!
01:19:44That fucker!
01:19:46We have to find her.
01:19:47What, how?
01:19:48Her ring.
01:19:49Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism
01:19:50on her ring just in case.
01:19:52Well, let's go then!
01:19:54My fiancΓ©e!
01:19:55My fiancΓ©e!
01:19:57My fiancΓ©e!
01:20:02Jared.
01:20:06What am I doing here?
01:20:08You destroyed me.
01:20:12They took everything.
01:20:14What?
01:20:16I have nothing left.
01:20:18It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:20:21I was greedy to have sex with my wife.
01:20:24What?
01:20:26I'm not your wife anymore.
01:20:28Oh yeah, I know.
01:20:29You wouldn't take me back now,
01:20:30not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:32This is illegal.
01:20:33You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:36You won't have me arrested.
01:20:38You will take me back.
01:20:40Ow!
01:20:42Oh, bitch.
01:20:45That's had to be down a little.
01:20:46You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:20:49Hey!
01:20:51Antoine!
01:20:52Come back!
01:20:56It's too late!
01:20:58I drugged her.
01:20:59She'll be dead soon.
01:21:01And yet, have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:03He really does have everything in his coat.
01:21:05Everything in his coat?
01:21:07Yeah, everything.
01:21:09He's got a gun.
01:21:11He's got a gun.
01:21:13He's got a gun.
01:21:14He's got a gun.
01:21:15Everything except for fruit.
01:21:17Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:18Get it already.
01:21:19Just save my boss!
01:21:21Here you go.
01:21:27You're all good now.
01:21:29Oh, thank God.
01:21:31But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33What?
01:21:34What are you going to do to me?
01:21:36Hey, stop!
01:21:37No!
01:21:38Don't!
01:21:39Ow!
01:21:40Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:42No!
01:21:44I'm glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:46Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:55So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:57We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:21:59The Prince of Bhutan.
01:22:01And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:03Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:07We're down to the wire.
01:22:09Literally.
01:22:10The wedding day.
01:22:12But who's the groom?
01:22:14Yeah!
01:22:16Yeah!
01:22:17Yeah!
01:22:18Yeah!
01:22:19Yeah!
01:22:20Yeah!
01:22:21Yeah!
01:22:22Yeah!
01:22:23Yeah!
01:22:24Yeah!
01:22:25Yeah!
01:22:26Yeah!
01:22:27Yeah!
01:22:28Yeah!
01:22:29Yeah!
01:22:30Yeah!
01:22:31Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:37But who's the groom?
01:22:41Ah, seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:22:43Any input from the parents?
01:22:45Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice?
01:22:51Oh, this is exciting!
01:22:53Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:56Let me think.
01:22:59Yes!
01:23:00I like the doctor. He's cute.
01:23:05But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:10And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest. Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:15Angela.
01:23:23You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:23:28And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:32But this was a really hard decision, and I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:40And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:49I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:52Each of our candidates have saved our main character. I mean, Bachelorette, once.
01:24:02They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:05So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart? Literally.
01:24:10Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:22Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:32And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all,
01:24:37the man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:24:44Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:49May the best man win.
01:24:51May the best man win.
01:24:54Drum roll, please.
01:25:09Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:18I choose...
01:25:29I need the power of a strong man, and I really feel like he can protect me.
01:25:35Who could resist those guns?
01:25:39Could I interest you in an NFD, Ellen?
01:25:41Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:25:48I would.
01:25:56Shane, it's you. I'm lovesick for you.
01:26:00You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:05It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:08Ellen, be my new queen. I hope we can build together.
01:26:11Like guns, baby?
01:26:19It's always been you.
01:26:30I'll always love you.
01:26:34Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:37Ellen, Ellen, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:39Have you seen my murder weapon?
01:26:41I need fruit-flavored gum for you.
01:26:43Have you seen my murder weapon?
01:26:45I need fruit-flavored gum for you.