Taskmaster AU S04 E07
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00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:24I hate you.
00:26Let me out of here!
00:40Hello and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:42It's another week and yet again they have succeeded in shaving my body down,
00:46lathering it in oil and slipping me into my Tom Gleeson skin suit.
00:50I am, of course, Carl Sandilands and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:56And competing for this trophy of my golden noggin,
01:02five people who are definitely not Carl Sandilands.
01:05They are Dave Hughes.
01:07Emma Holland.
01:10Lisa McHugh.
01:13Takashi Wakasugi.
01:15And Tommy Little.
01:17Hello.
01:18And sitting next to me, a man who, when he uses a urinal, he has the trousers and undies down around his ankles.
01:24It's Tom Cashman.
01:29Alright, slap as a prize task on the grill, please, lesser Tom.
01:32Of course, our first task is a prize task.
01:34Each of our contestants have brought in a prize.
01:36And the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
01:39Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the most disappointing purchase.
01:45Ooh.
01:46Okay.
01:47Disappoint me, Wakka.
01:48I bought a grinder pepper.
01:51Ooh.
01:52Ooh.
01:54So, because you never finish the pepper inside.
01:58Because always the grinder part is broken.
02:01Wakka, no question on technique though.
02:03Some people grind from here, but some people like to get a bit of height and grind from here.
02:07Why are you so horny all the time?
02:13I'm talking about pepper.
02:17Isn't it good to see the comedy of Tommy Little back again?
02:22Alright, Emma, what did you bring in?
02:24Well, it's probably easier if I just show you.
02:27Okay.
02:31So, this is a taxidermied rat with a vacuum cleaner.
02:34I thought it was going to be alive.
02:39So, you were disappointed because you thought it was actually going to just start to clean your house.
02:43Yeah.
02:45The vacuum's so small, it would have to empty it so often.
02:49Well, that's not my problem and that's not what I'm paying him for.
02:52Alright, Dave, what did you bring in?
02:55I brought in a purchase that my wife purchased.
02:58It wasn't my purchase.
02:59It is anti-dandruff shampoo.
03:01I don't use it often enough and she's really disappointed by that.
03:06I'm happy with this shirt tonight because the other night I was wearing a really dark shirt and our wardrobe really had to work extra hard in the ad breaks to...
03:15Yeah.
03:16You wouldn't have needed a little rat with a vacuum cleaner to clean it all up.
03:19LAUGHTER
03:22Uh, Lisa, what has disappointed you?
03:25I purchased a churros maker.
03:28Um, and look, I did use it once and they just came out a little soggy and a bit kind of flaccid.
03:33So, they...
03:35Just calm down, Tommy.
03:37Sorry, sorry.
03:38Just, you can let some through to the keeper, mate.
03:41That was such a good one!
03:43Um...
03:44Well, they look tasty.
03:45I think it's a good...
03:46Well, they are.
03:47I think you just have to put a lot more oil in and really get the fat going on them to make them nice and stiff.
03:50Oh!
03:56Nobody wants a floppy one.
04:01Penis.
04:07Sorry, I've just been calmly waiting for an edit point.
04:11Tommy, what did you bring in?
04:14When I was learning to fly planes, you had to buy the study stuff and it was all quite expensive.
04:18And one of the items in it was an EB-6 flight computer that calculates wind.
04:23And I'm like, this is going to be unbelievable.
04:26I can't wait to get this new computer.
04:27This is what it is.
04:29LAUGHTER
04:32It's just a spinny wheel, Tom.
04:34Looks pretty cool to me. It probably works.
04:36But it was $1500 bucks with the books.
04:39I thought the computer was the big ticket item...
04:42Yeah.
04:43...of the $1500 bucks.
04:44And it's just a spinny wheel.
04:45But that is an actual computer.
04:46What do you mean?
04:47A computer is just something that computes.
04:49I know you think you're being smart now, but if you were...
04:51No, no, no. I don't think it. I know it.
04:54LAUGHTER
04:55If you were, there's one person clapping.
04:58LAUGHTER
04:59Being smart's not popular and I don't give a shit.
05:01I'd rather be smart.
05:03I'd rather be unpopular and not thick like you, Tommy.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:07I know how to fly a plane, Tom.
05:08LAUGHTER
05:13All right, well, I've got to score this.
05:15The least disappointing for me was Tommy,
05:17because he was disappointed by a computer,
05:18which was clearly a computer.
05:20LAUGHTER
05:21So one point to Tommy.
05:22Two points to Dave.
05:23OK.
05:24You said it's more disappointing for your wife.
05:25I'm going to say Emma's taxidermy rat.
05:27You must have been so excited.
05:29Then, unfortunately, it was dead,
05:30so it didn't actually vacuum anything.
05:32Then I'm going to give Lisa four points
05:33for the electric churros maker,
05:34because it's...
05:35Yeah, it does sound like it created
05:37some very disappointing churros
05:38that, um, look like cocks.
05:41LAUGHTER
05:42I didn't say that, but thank you.
05:44LAUGHTER
05:45But I'm going to give five points to Waka,
05:47because of his disappointing pepper shaker,
05:48because he can never get all the peppercorns out.
05:54OK, another disappointment.
05:55I now give you the appointment
05:57of doling up a proper task, Lester Tom.
05:59Very well.
06:00We're back to the warehouse
06:01for a photo shoot with hundreds of people.
06:18Hey, Tom Tom.
06:20God, this is spectacular, isn't it?
06:23Magnificent location.
06:25This is a cool place.
06:26I like it.
06:27It's a weird spot to have a hat.
06:35Take up to 100 photos of yourself
06:37somewhere in this warehouse
06:38and wear this red hat in one of them.
06:40You must take all your photos from the same spot.
06:42Your photos will be edited together into one photo.
06:46A photo that makes the Taskmaster
06:48take longest to find red-hatted you wins.
06:51You have 20 minutes.
06:52Your time starts now.
06:55How can I hide red-hatted me?
06:57It's rather bright.
06:58The best bet would probably be
06:59to have other red stuff in it.
07:05So, essentially, I just have to find
07:07whichever of them has a red hat on in the photo.
07:09That's it.
07:10That's right.
07:11So it's like Wes Wally.
07:12Well, generic, red-stripey, hidey glasses man.
07:14Why are you not saying it?
07:15Because of...laws?
07:18What are you frightened of?
07:20Red tape?
07:21Red tape, then white tape, then red tape, then white tape.
07:28Alright.
07:29Well, I'm going to need to see the screen for this one.
07:31So, through the magic of television
07:33and your puny muscles, Lisa Tom,
07:34move me into position.
07:36Okay, Dave Hughes is up first.
07:40I've got my timer ready.
07:41Are you ready?
07:42Happy to play.
07:43Alright.
07:44Ready.
07:45Go.
07:46Alright.
07:47It's very menacing, by the way, I should say.
07:49Straight up.
07:51Okay.
07:52Can you just zoom into the centre?
07:54Keep going.
07:55Yep.
07:56Zooming.
07:57You didn't say stop zooming.
07:58That's enough.
07:59Stop.
08:00Stop zooming.
08:01Thanks.
08:02Go.
08:03Think we need to go to the right.
08:07Maybe zoom out first.
08:11Stop zooming.
08:12To the right.
08:13It is confronting.
08:14Right.
08:15Stop.
08:16Zoom in.
08:17I think I can see him.
08:18Found it.
08:19Right there in the centre.
08:20Little head poking out.
08:21Yeah, that's correct.
08:26Respectable time.
08:27One minute and 12 seconds.
08:28Alright.
08:29To find the Dave Hughes wearing the red hat.
08:31Yeah.
08:32Is this a bad time to say I'm colour blind?
08:35Alright, let's keep playing.
08:36Alright.
08:37Emma Holland is up next.
08:38You ready?
08:39Yep.
08:40Oh, God.
08:41Oh, there's red everywhere.
08:42Okay.
08:43I've got to see.
08:44Have a look here.
08:45If I was Emma, where would I put it?
08:46I'd put it far away from the camera.
08:47So I'm going to go.
08:48Can you just zoom in to the top left corner?
08:51Because I'm thinking that's what you do.
08:52Keep going.
08:53Zoom in further there.
08:54Top left.
08:55Oh, stop.
08:56Oh.
08:57It looks like it's...
08:58Just go up a bit.
08:59Okay.
09:00What am I looking at now?
09:02Oh, yeah.
09:03I can see it.
09:04Oh, where is it?
09:05The bottom of that ladder.
09:06Just right in the centre.
09:07That is correct.
09:08Not on her head.
09:11Does that matter?
09:12Did you specify that it had to be on the head?
09:14You have to be wearing the hat.
09:15It's up to you whether that counts as wearing, I guess.
09:17I guess...
09:18It's not a traditional wear.
09:19That's wear.
09:20You've just got to wear it somewhere on your person.
09:21Do you?
09:22You could disqualify her straight away.
09:23You found red-hatted Emma in one minute and nine seconds.
09:29Not bad.
09:30Can I just say, you have no idea what it feels like playing this game with a room full of
09:36nerds behind you.
09:37Yeah.
09:38Who is so desperate to yell out the answer.
09:42You know, it's like I'm sitting in front of Reddit.
09:46You know what I mean?
09:48And I don't like it.
09:50Alright, time for some advertisements.
09:52We'll see you soon and I'll be looking for more red hats.
09:55Welcome back to Taskmaster where someone in our crew has taken a hundred photos of our contestants
10:14and then put them all together in a collage.
10:17What a sicko.
10:18That's right.
10:19Our contestants have taken up to a hundred photos, we've put them all together and only
10:23one of them is wearing a red hat and you've got to find the red hat as quickly as possible.
10:27Next up, you have Lisa McKeown.
10:28Okay.
10:29Ready, set, go.
10:31Okay.
10:32Oh, God.
10:33Oh, there are hats everywhere.
10:35I can see all of them.
10:36Found it.
10:37In the foreground, she's wearing it there.
10:39At the front to the right.
10:40That's wearing it, isn't it?
10:41She's holding it on her head.
10:42Yeah, found it.
10:43Okay.
10:44Is that it?
10:46Are you wearing it?
10:48I can't remember.
10:49I did it so many times.
10:51So Lisa's approach here was that she, in her view, wasn't technically wearing them except
10:56in one.
10:57Oh.
10:58But I think the precedent that we set with Emma has made the Taskmaster be, I suppose,
11:01more liberal with what constitutes a wear.
11:03Oh, no.
11:04Well, if Emma was wearing it on her front, then Lisa was wearing it several times in this particular
11:09picture.
11:10I found it as soon as the photo came up.
11:11Oh, my God.
11:12Oh, no.
11:13I know.
11:15Up next, we have Tommy Little's photo.
11:17Ready, set, go.
11:18All right.
11:19Where is he?
11:20Where's that little hat?
11:21He's hiding it.
11:22Go to the back of the picture, please.
11:24Right in the centre.
11:25Zoom in.
11:26Zoom in.
11:27He'll be right at the back there somewhere, alright?
11:29Yeah.
11:30Shut up, Hughes.
11:31Ooh.
11:32All right.
11:33Zoom back out again, please.
11:35Stop.
11:36Okay.
11:37All right.
11:38This is like a very low-stakes version of CSI, isn't it?
11:42I reckon there's a lot of middle-aged women who have had this dream.
11:47I feel like it's not that different to what prison would look like, to be honest.
11:53I was going to say, it looks like prison.
11:56Okay, let's just zoom out a bit, please.
11:58Zoom out.
11:59Okay, go left.
12:01Because I'm also thinking there's a big blank space to the left.
12:04There it is.
12:05Found it.
12:06It's on top of that rib box.
12:07Yes.
12:08That's correct.
12:09It's an effective method.
12:11Yes.
12:12There's a whole wall of Tommies.
12:13I should have noticed the absence of Tommies on the left.
12:16Yes.
12:17So the distraction worked.
12:18You took one minute and 56 seconds.
12:20Okay.
12:23Well done, Tommy.
12:24All right.
12:25Waka is our final contestant.
12:26Ready, set, go.
12:29All right.
12:30Ooh.
12:31Lots of red there, lots of red there.
12:32I'm looking around.
12:33Waka has instituted the bin method.
12:35Yeah.
12:36As a distraction.
12:37It's very good.
12:38Found him.
12:39Wow.
12:40Third bin from the left at the back.
12:41Wow.
12:42That is correct.
12:45Good technique though.
12:47Okay.
12:48So what time did Waka get?
12:49You found it really quickly.
12:50It only took you 15 seconds.
12:52Ooh.
12:53Ooh.
12:54Waka, did you have to get out of the bin and then they move the bin and then you get in?
12:57Or could they wheel it with you in it?
12:59I wheeled them around a hundred times.
13:00Did you?
13:01Oh.
13:03That was so stinky.
13:05Yeah.
13:06That was very stinky.
13:07Just to recap the times, we had Lisa with 10 seconds.
13:11Waka only 15 seconds.
13:12Emma you found in 1 minute and 9 seconds.
13:14Dave, 1 minute and 12 seconds.
13:16And Tommy, it took you 1 minute and 56 seconds.
13:19Which means, Lisa gets 1 point.
13:20Waka gets 2.
13:21Emma gets 3.
13:22Dave gets 4.
13:23But Tommy wins the task with 5 points.
13:24Okay.
13:25Another task please, Lisa Tom.
13:26Okay.
13:27Some tasks, they feature half a punch.
13:29Sometimes they have 3 quarters of a punch.
13:30This one has a hole punch.
13:31Hi Tom.
13:32Hi Tom Tom.
13:33Hello Thomas.
13:34Does anyone call you Thomas?
13:35No.
13:36No.
13:37No.
13:38No.
13:39No.
13:40No.
13:41No.
13:42No.
13:43No.
13:44No.
13:45No.
13:46No.
13:47No.
13:48No.
13:49No.
13:50No.
13:51No.
13:52No.
13:53No.
13:54No.
13:56No.
13:57Really?
13:58Hello Thomas.
13:59I'll stay here if that's okay.
14:00What is this?
14:01A hole punch.
14:02Oh.
14:03Careful of that sphere.
14:05I think it's magnifying light in such a way that it's potentially going to burn one of
14:08the pages.
14:09Oi it's real hot.
14:11Yeah don't do that yeah.
14:14Punch the most holes in this document.
14:18From the furthest distance.
14:20Your attempt is complete when at least one hole has been punched.
14:23Most holes punched plus metres from the document when punched wins.
14:28You have 15 minutes.
14:30Your time starts now.
14:37So Tommy, when someone tells you you shouldn't touch something because it's hot,
14:40maybe you just don't touch it.
14:42Well, but what is it?
14:45What if no one else has touched it before and I'm the first to touch it?
14:47And then I get to tell everybody how good touching it was.
14:50So straightforward stuff pretty much.
14:52So you've just got to punch a hole through as many pages as possible.
14:55That's right.
14:55From as far away as possible.
14:57Yeah, metres plus holes punched.
14:59That's the final score.
15:00Who's punching away first?
15:01Let's hope there are holes in their documents but not in their plans.
15:04It's Emma and Tommy.
15:06Oi, come back.
15:09What the f***, Tom?
15:14I went to Cubs, I never went to Scouts and I was the only person to not get one bag.
15:18Not one.
15:18You didn't do Scouts or anything?
15:19No.
15:20I did horse riding.
15:21Every girl I know got kicked by a horse at some point.
15:23I never got kicked by a horse and they all deserved it.
15:26Can you come and stand on it?
15:27Okay.
15:27Each time I pull, could you go, oh, oh.
15:30Oh, sorry.
15:30I focused on the oh, not the standing.
15:32Oh.
15:34The only other thing I can think is to tip the tire down the hill.
15:37Okay.
15:38And that would be miraculous.
15:42Is there a hole in it?
15:43No.
15:44Oh, no.
15:4590 seconds left.
15:46Quick, quick.
15:47Give me the document down here.
15:48f*** hell.
15:49This is drilling!
15:52Hole?
15:52No hole.
15:53No hole.
15:54Okay.
15:56Come on.
15:56Come on.
15:58Come on.
15:5940 seconds.
16:00Can you hold this?
16:00Okay.
16:07Tom.
16:08You didn't warn me.
16:0925 seconds.
16:10Okay.
16:12One, two, three.
16:18Oh, my gosh.
16:19Like a warm bowlers do when they walk it in.
16:21When they walk it in.
16:27When they walk it in.
16:33There's a hole?
16:34There's a hole.
16:35Awesome.
16:36Thanks for checking out my hole.
16:40Tommy, it would have been great if it worked.
16:45I know.
16:46It was thrilling to watch.
16:47Mate, what a ride.
16:49That was you.
16:49We were all on board there.
16:51Even me.
16:51I wanted you to be successful.
16:54I don't know what's worse.
16:55When you lie to yourself or you lie to me.
17:00Okay, so Emma.
17:01Wool to hold down the hole punch.
17:03I spent so long trying to find tape and I couldn't find it anywhere.
17:06And so wool was my next best.
17:08But even tape.
17:09I mean, that's up the craft end of the spectrum, not the DIY end of the spectrum, I feel.
17:13Yeah, have you met me?
17:14Yeah, I have.
17:15Tom, I'm a crafty lady.
17:18Okay, and you also said, uh, thanks for checking out my hole.
17:21Are you dabbling in the comedy of Tommy Little?
17:25I don't, I don't get it.
17:28Can you explain it to me, please?
17:31Hole can refer to your vagina.
17:32What's a hole punch then?
17:41Wow.
17:41Hang on.
17:43Sorry.
17:44Hey everyone, it's okay.
17:45I'm gonna suck you.
17:46Tommy's picked up the ball and he's running with it.
17:48Stop it.
17:49Are we riffing at the moment?
17:51Are we riffing?
17:51I thought if there's other people in the shallow end of the pool, we may as well play.
17:56Well, what result did Emma get?
17:59Well, Tommy dared to get zero, as we know.
18:01Emma chose to put one piece of paper in the hole punch.
18:04Emma put two holes, plus she was 22.2 metres away, so her score is 24.2.
18:13Okay, I want to see more holes punched at a distance.
18:16Next up, using stationary to keep their scores moving, it's Lisa and Dave.
18:20So if I just throw this there and it hits there and it goes down and punches a hole, the task is over.
18:25Maybe that can go in there somehow.
18:31It's got to be a reasonable amount that it's going to actually do the job.
18:34All right, here we go.
18:35Um, just stop that going in.
18:37Wait a sec.
18:39I've just got...
18:39You've got stuff in your pockets?
18:40Yeah, I like to carry a few different...
18:42You just never, ever know if you might need something.
18:48That can clip over like that.
18:51I'm just going to see whether or not I can get that to calm down.
18:56No, I think it's...
18:58All right, I'm going to go closer.
18:59I just don't know whether or not it's going to...
19:02No, that's not...
19:03I just need another lever.
19:09There's a hole.
19:12It's worked.
19:12Am I out of time?
19:19There's a hole in the document.
19:21Is there?
19:21How many holes have I done?
19:23I can only see one.
19:24No, there's another one.
19:26I've done at least two.
19:27I think I'm proud of myself, but I'm not...
19:31I'm completely sure I am proud of myself, but I think I am.
19:34I'm going to go and rethink that.
19:35So, Lisa, you had a premature hole punch.
19:42Yeah, I mean, I was working towards something bigger
19:44and I accidentally punched a hole.
19:46Yeah?
19:47Yeah, sorry about that.
19:48I am sorry.
19:49I thought it was a good effort.
19:50You don't have to apologise to us.
19:51You still did better than me.
19:52I know, I really thought I was on to something.
19:54You've done excellent.
19:55If I apologised for every time I was a bit shit,
19:57all I'd do was be apologised.
19:58Well, I won't apologise.
20:00I'll just say it could have been better.
20:00And also, we've talked about it.
20:01Sometimes you're a bit too polite, Lisa.
20:03On this show, I want you to cut sick.
20:06Okay.
20:07This is your time.
20:07This is this...
20:08No-one cares round here.
20:09Well, he didn't let me have a good day.
20:11Oh, my...
20:12Yes, I did!
20:18Oh, my God!
20:20Thanks, guys.
20:22God, that felt good.
20:28Oh, my God, you've unleashed the dragon.
20:29That was incredible.
20:30I've got to say, I've been working away at that
20:32for seven episodes and it's paid off.
20:36Okay.
20:36So, Husey...
20:37Yes.
20:38Did you ever stop and think there could be other things
20:40on the property or...
20:41You were just like, oh, grab, throw.
20:48I'm just saying, it didn't...
20:50It didn't feel like a complicated strategy.
20:58No, it wasn't.
20:59It was exactly how you described it.
21:03But also, you know, TV's tough.
21:05You know, it's not an easy gig these days and we all want to get the show done on time
21:09and on budget and I think that helped.
21:11Ah.
21:14Both Lisa and Dave managed two holes punched.
21:17Lisa was 1.7 metres away.
21:19Dave was 3.1 metres away.
21:21So, Lisa gets a score of 3.7.
21:23Dave gets 5.1.
21:25Oh, well done.
21:28Alright, go on then.
21:29Punch the card for one more.
21:30They call him wakka, but can he wak from afar?
21:32It's Takashi wakasugi.
21:35Domino's.
21:36Domino's.
21:37So, I put tyres here.
21:38And the last one's gonna be...
21:46Ah!
21:48Did you see that?
21:49More tyres.
21:51Good.
21:52Two more.
21:57Still walking.
22:00Still walking.
22:00I know.
22:01Nice work.
22:01Right there, yeah.
22:02Okay.
22:03Alright.
22:04This thing's far?
22:05Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:06Look, I forgot.
22:07I'm gonna put paper.
22:08Alright.
22:10Alright.
22:11Alright.
22:12Three.
22:13Two.
22:14One.
22:18Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet.
22:20One minute and 27 seconds.
22:21I still have time though.
22:22Alright, it's okay.
22:25Go.
22:27One minute, one minute, one minute.
22:32One minute and two seconds left.
22:33Yeah, yeah.
22:34You have still time.
22:35No rush, no rush.
22:37I'm tired.
22:3830 seconds.
22:39Can you count every second now?
22:4117.
22:42Alright, alright.
22:4216.
22:4315.
22:44Three.
22:4513.
22:4612.
22:4711.
22:4810.
22:509.
22:508.
22:517.
22:526.
22:545.
22:554.
22:563.
22:5711.
22:5910 viewers.
23:0014.
23:0114.
23:0214.
23:0214.
23:0315.
23:0414.
23:0515.
23:0515.
23:0614.
23:0815.
23:0915.
23:1016.
23:1216.
23:1317.
23:1417.
23:1518.
23:1617.
23:1730.
23:1829.
23:1931.
23:2131.
23:2134.
23:2232.
23:2533.
23:26Every task I use a tyre never did well.
23:32I know.
23:33I hate tyres.
23:34I know.
23:35Well, Wakka's the only person, I guess, who maybe accidentally clued on to the number
23:38of holes being kind of quite relevant.
23:40Yes.
23:41Could have we just used our hands and just gone down?
23:44Arguably.
23:45So, Wakka may have been close, only 1.7 metres away, but he punched 68 holes.
23:54That means Tommy gets 0 points, Lisa gets 2, Dave gets 3, Emma gets 4, but Wakka wins
24:03the task with 5 points.
24:05And in terms of episode scores, Tommy is in last place at the moment with 6 points, but
24:11Wakka's in the lead with 12 points.
24:13OK.
24:14You want another task?
24:15Sure.
24:16I'll give you another task right after these ads.
24:19That's right.
24:20I'm a dirty little task tease.
24:21But you know you love it.
24:23We'll see you soon.
24:24APPLAUSE
24:25Hello.
24:26Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five desperate comedians are doing absolutely everything
24:42in their power to win a dead rat.
24:44That's right.
24:45Love is in the air, but will it make its way into anyone's bodies?
24:49Let's find out with a team task.
24:50Come in.
24:51Did he knock?
24:52After his turn.
24:53Alright, thank you.
24:54Hi, Tom.
24:55Hi, Wakka.
24:56Hello.
24:57Hi, Dave.
24:58Hi, Lisa.
24:59Hi, Tommy.
25:00Hi, Tom.
25:01Is he your favourite?
25:02I don't have favourites.
25:03Bullshit.
25:04Oh, there's a lot of words there.
25:05I can do this.
25:06Oh, there's a lot of words there.
25:07I can do this.
25:08I mean, I'm happy to share it with you if you want to read a bit and I can read a bit.
25:09Oh, can you read?
25:10That's too long.
25:11Make these singles have chemistry on their first date.
25:12On their second date.
25:13They are both wearing ear pieces.
25:14They will only say or do whatever you tell them to do.
25:18At least one person from your team must be in the study and if you don't have any
25:22about the same thing.
25:23I don't have a lot of words.
25:24I don't have any words to tell them.
25:25Yeah.
25:26Why not?
25:27I don't have any words to tell them.
25:28I don't have any words to tell them.
25:30Oh, there's a lot of words there.
25:31I can do this.
25:32I mean, I'm happy to share it with you if you want to read a bit and I can read a bit.
25:35or do whatever you tell them to do.
25:39At least one person from your team must be in the study.
25:41And one must be outside.
25:43If you are in the study, you will be in control of her.
25:46If you are outside, you will be in control of him.
25:49Best chemistry wins.
25:50Your singles will arrive in 10 minutes.
25:52For their 20-minute date.
25:54Your time starts now.
25:56Is there something to be said about me feeding the man the lines
26:00and you guys feeding the woman?
26:02Because we'll know what we want to receive.
26:05I really think that you should go with the girl
26:07and I should go with the boy.
26:08All right.
26:09That's sexy dress.
26:11Yeah, that's fine. She can wear that.
26:12And the guy going to wear...
26:14Is this yours?
26:14That's my pants.
26:16Why are you...
26:17APPLAUSE
26:19OK, so we're back with the team task.
26:25Yeah, that's right.
26:25I just got the sense that the boys are just a bit excited
26:27to be using walkie-talkies.
26:29That's what I really cared about.
26:31All right, we better rip off the Band-Aid
26:33for these two unlucky in-love birds.
26:35Cashman, let's go.
26:36Call them cheese,
26:37because they're about to craft some singles.
26:39It's Waka, Tommy and Emma.
26:45Oh, my God.
26:49He looks good.
26:53She looks great.
26:54Can you ask her what is important to her in a relationship?
26:59What do you think is important in a relationship?
27:04Uh, knowing each other's names.
27:06Knowing each other's names?
27:07What's yours?
27:10Say...
27:11Genghis.
27:14Genghis.
27:15Ask her what her goal is for the date.
27:20What's your sort of goal from this date?
27:22And if there's a silence,
27:24just start filling it with facts about catfish.
27:27Um...
27:28There's...
27:30been a lot going on in the news about catfish recently.
27:35Catfish.
27:35They...
27:36You ever caught one?
27:37You put your hands...
27:39in a catfish?
27:41That's good.
27:41Keep doing that hand action.
27:43So imagine that's your mouth.
27:44Well, it's not your mouth, but catfish mouth.
27:46In.
27:47Grasp.
27:48And like, yank it out.
27:52So, are you just gonna sit with that guitar?
27:55Or are you gonna...
27:55Strum something, maybe?
27:57Okay, just start playing some chords.
28:03And now wink five times, please.
28:09Just sing a song with the guitar.
28:10I love you so...
28:14I want you so...
28:17Okay, just keep playing while she's singing.
28:18I want you so...
28:20I want you so...
28:25Ask her if she wants to marry you.
28:27You want to marry me?
28:28Can I wear a hat first?
28:30Um, can I wear a hat first?
28:35Put the hat on her.
28:39Let's marry.
28:40Let's marry.
28:41The Taskmaster restaurant has closed.
28:44I love you so...
28:46I love you so...
28:50Sing along as you leave.
28:51I need you so...
28:54I need you so...
28:57The Taskmaster's over, guys.
29:02Can you please let her...
29:03Tell him he has to kiss the hat, and then you'll leave.
29:06You have to kiss the hat, and then I'll leave.
29:08The Taskmaster's over, guys.
29:09I don't have to do anything.
29:10Kiss the f***ing hat.
29:12Okay.
29:13All right.
29:13I love you so...
29:17Um, what were you thinking?
29:33I think we started quite well, and I'm glad you did this, Beau,
29:37but Wakka just started singing, and it was wonderful,
29:42but then there was no turning back.
29:44Yeah.
29:45I did a singing task before, and I got confident.
29:49Yeah.
29:50I did again.
29:52Well, we all remember that task.
29:53I'm not sure if you should have been confident.
29:59Emma, I really think you made his grotty-moustache-hipster personality
30:03shine through.
30:05Yeah, look, I've come across a few of them in my lifetime.
30:09I know what I would have liked them to say on dates.
30:12Oh, so that's what you would like in a date?
30:17Yep.
30:19Well, and then, I mean, to be fair as well,
30:21the task had ended, but they still seemed to be in love.
30:25It was difficult to get them to leave.
30:29All right, let's see the others then, eh?
30:31They seem like they've been married 20 years,
30:33so matters of the heart should come easy.
30:34It's Lisa and Dave.
30:35When you turn up, say, better late than ever, I suppose, Gareth.
30:41When you go in, tell her how beautiful she looks.
30:46Well, you look beautiful.
30:48Better late than ever, I suppose.
30:49Just reach out and put your hand there and see if she holds it.
30:51I'd like to say, I hadn't noticed just how beautiful your eyes are.
30:59I noticed yours.
31:00I noticed yours.
31:01I'd also never noticed how thick your moustache was.
31:04Do you like anchovies?
31:05I also just never noticed how thick your moustache was.
31:08What made you grow a moustache?
31:10Are you hiding something?
31:12Just say you've got a scar from...
31:14A water skiing accident on my top lip.
31:17Oh, my God, I love lakes.
31:20So do you.
31:21I, too, love lakes.
31:29I think we should start travelling.
31:33Where would you like to go?
31:36I would like to go...
31:38Into your heart.
31:40You already have my heart.
31:41So take my hand.
31:43Okay, you can hold my hand.
31:45You can hold my hand.
31:46Go down on your knee and propose to Chloe.
31:49Oh, my God.
31:50God.
31:51And say, for the time I have left on this earth,
31:53I want you to be mine.
31:58Is the moustache going to be for the wedding or not?
32:01Is the money going to be spent on the wedding or not?
32:03What about the moustache?
32:04Mystache.
32:05No, it's a moustache.
32:07It's the moustache.
32:08I don't like it.
32:11Right.
32:11I was just wondering if you could help me out.
32:13Just tell her you've got a dicky disc in your back
32:15and you're just, you're really struggling to get up.
32:17I've got a bit of a, you know,
32:18a bit of a dicky disc in my back, so just...
32:20We need Tom back to witness our wedding.
32:22Get Tom back in.
32:23Get Tom back in.
32:24There we go.
32:26Tom, marry us.
32:27In the power that you've got.
32:29Put the hand back on the table.
32:31With the power that you've got.
32:32With the power that isn't vested in me
32:34as a waiter at the Taskmaster Restaurant.
32:41Sorry.
32:41Oh, my God.
32:43I love you, Gareth.
32:44I love you, Gareth.
32:49Thank you, Gareth.
32:51Thank you, Gareth.
32:51So, the actors, were they single?
33:01So, I should clarify, they weren't actors.
33:02They were real single people.
33:04Oh, OK.
33:05Well, I do feel that the age team,
33:06I feel like there might have been more chemistry
33:08happening throughout that date.
33:09I mean, Lisa, you came in pretty strong there.
33:11Like, you really wanted to speed things up.
33:13Well, yeah, the lag is hard.
33:15Like, dealing with the lag is hard.
33:17Didn't you find it?
33:17A lot of my stuff got lost in translation.
33:20So, just another task for you, Dave.
33:24But also, you made her say thanks, Gareth,
33:27and then you said thanks, Gareth, to yourself.
33:30Well, I was saying thank you to him
33:31for being in the task.
33:33Thank you for going through that.
33:35Thanks, Gareth, to himself.
33:39OK.
33:40So, I'm going to say there was more chemistry
33:42for the age team.
33:43OK.
33:43So, I'm going to go 5-5-3-3-3.
33:45All right.
33:46Oh, good.
33:46Well done, Dave.
33:48OK.
33:49Time for a break.
33:50You know what I'm going to do.
33:52I'm going to go to my dressing room
33:53and get nude and meditate.
33:56So, to the fans who want to know the real Tom,
33:58there you go.
33:59Bye.
33:59CHEERING
34:00CHEERING
34:01CHEERING
34:02CHEERING
34:03CHEERING
34:04CHEERING
34:05CHEERING
34:06CHEERING
34:08CHEERING
34:10CHEERING
34:11CHEERING
34:12CHEERING
34:13Welcome back to Taskmaster.
34:15These task teats are full of tasty milk,
34:17squeeze me out another task, Lester Tom.
34:20I truly can't wait for the honour.
34:21But first, a quick update on our episode scores.
34:24The winner at the moment is Waka with 15 points.
34:26CHEERING
34:27CHEERING
34:28OK, Tom, the body cashman.
34:31LAUGHTER
34:32Surf on up.
34:34Sure thing.
34:35Welcome to the Pterodome.
34:37MUSIC
34:38Tom?
34:48Tom?
34:48Um...
34:49Right.
34:49Not Tom.
34:50I like it when he's not here.
34:51It's unsettling.
34:52Avoid getting wet by Tom.
34:53You must remain within the bunker.
34:54This is the bunker.
34:55Tom is outside the bunker but can't step inside.
34:59Longest to avoid getting wet wins.
35:00You have 20 minutes.
35:00Your time starts after Tom gives you an example of what he is capable of.
35:01Oh my God!
35:02Oh my God!
35:03Oh my God!
35:04Oh my God!
35:05I'm going to get wet.
35:06I'm going to get wet.
35:07I'm going to get wet.
35:08I'm going to get wet.
35:09I'm going to get wet.
35:10I'm going to get wet.
35:11I'm going to get wet.
35:12I'm going to get wet.
35:13Tom is outside the bunker but can't step inside.
35:17Longest to avoid getting wet wins.
35:19You have 20 minutes!
35:21Your time starts after Tom gives you an example of what he is capable of.
35:26Oh my God!
35:29I laugh at you.
35:36Is that it?
35:37What do you mean?
35:38One water bomb and one super soccer?
35:40Oh, there's more where that came from, buddy boy.
35:47Well, there's a time I've never seen you so excited about a task.
35:52This one was a lot of fun.
35:53Alright, so tell me, Fritzl, who do we see first?
35:56I had to get into character for this one, like a spy movie villain but with water.
36:04So first up, Tommy, Dave and Lisa will meet Pond, James Pond.
36:08You're nowhere near it.
36:09What have you got, man?
36:10You have to do a lot better than that.
36:11It doesn't say that I'm not allowed to use this.
36:15Ha!
36:16Whoa!
36:17Oh!
36:18Oh, come on!
36:22Oh, I know, I know you, I...
36:23Oh!
36:24Oh!
36:25Oh!
36:26Oh!
36:27Oh!
36:28Oh!
36:29Oh!
36:30Oh!
36:31Oh, come on!
36:32Oh, I know you, I...
36:33Oh!
36:34Oh!
36:35Oh!
36:36Oh!
36:37Oh!
36:38Oh!
36:39Oh!
36:40Oh!
36:41He's over there.
36:42Oh!
36:43Oh..
36:44Oh!
36:45This is so super creepy.
36:48Oh!
36:49There you are.
36:50Has anyone told you he plays like a creepy psychopath right quite well?
36:59I'm not playing your character.
37:01Where is he?
37:05Where is he?
37:15Oh!
37:17I got you, Lisa.
37:19OK.
37:26Ah!
37:27Got me!
37:29Oh!
37:30Thanks, Dave.
37:32Thanks, Tom.
37:36Thanks, Tom.
37:37Thanks, Tommy.
37:42Did you get some revenge there, Tommy?
37:44Yeah.
37:45Yeah.
37:46But that wasn't part of the task.
37:47That was just extra fun.
37:48No, but it was like my dessert.
37:51OK, so it seems like the best thing to do is just to run around.
37:54Yeah, I think keeping moving was a good strategy.
37:56OK.
37:57I thought, Husey, I feel like you were aiming for him even though you couldn't see him.
38:00Were you listening to him?
38:01Yeah.
38:02Dave Hughes was quite vocal.
38:06Yeah, I like to express myself.
38:08And also give him a chance, you know.
38:10He works hard and he deserves.
38:15You do work really hard, man, so good on you.
38:18I feel like all of you are actually being quite honest because Lisa barely just got your ankle.
38:25Yeah, I didn't feel like I got that wet.
38:26Yeah, I know.
38:27But then you screamed in disgust, so you gave yourself up.
38:30Well, because I was having a lot of fun.
38:31Shall we look at some results then?
38:33Yes.
38:34So Husey got wet in 2 minutes and 14 seconds.
38:36OK.
38:38Lisa took 3 minutes and 24 seconds, but Tommy eluded me for 9 minutes and 39 seconds.
38:44OK.
38:46Time for an ad break and if you've got a bunker, this is your cue to go down and check the restraints
38:50around their ankles and just make sure they're still tight.
38:53Have fun.
38:54See you soon.
39:08Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:10What's going on, Cashman?
39:12At the moment our contestants are in the Pterodome, trying to avoid being water bombed or water gunned.
39:16I can't get anyone else to call it the Pterodome.
39:18Next up, facing 00 decimal place 7, it's Wakka and Emma.
39:28I saw it.
39:29I saw it.
39:30I saw it.
39:32Yes.
39:33Yes.
39:43Tom.
39:44Tom.
39:45Tom.
39:46Tom.
39:47Tom.
39:48Tom.
39:49Tom.
39:50Tom.
39:51Tom.
39:52Tom.
39:53Tom.
39:54Tom.
39:55Tom.
39:56Tom.
39:57Tom.
39:58Tom.
39:59Tom.
40:00Tom.
40:01Tom.
40:02Tom.
40:03Tom.
40:04Tom.
40:05Tom.
40:06Tom.
40:07Tom.
40:08Tom.
40:09Tom.
40:10Tom.
40:11Tom.
40:12Tom.
40:13Tom.
40:14Tom.
40:15Tom.
40:16No, I'm just sweat, but...
40:17That doesn't count, unfortunately.
40:20It's finished?
40:23That was the easy one.
40:40Oh!
40:43I got you!
40:44I really thought I'd done something, though.
40:54So, Wakka...
40:56Yes?
40:56I kind of want to say, well done,
40:58but I'd prefer to say,
41:00Lesley Tom, you suck!
41:02No, no, he did well.
41:03He did well.
41:04He did well.
41:05Finally, I could show you some ninja parts.
41:08Finally.
41:09Finally.
41:10You must have known that you were onto a good thing
41:11when he got so desperate,
41:12he threw his bloody toys into the cot.
41:15That feel good.
41:15That feel so good.
41:16Yeah, well, what were you thinking?
41:17You were just throwing your empty gun?
41:19I had to try something different.
41:21That's an extraordinary effort, Wakka.
41:22Honestly, I'm so impressed by what you just did there.
41:25That was incredible.
41:26Do you believe him?
41:28I think...
41:29I don't think we're giving Wakka enough credit here.
41:31It was an incredible effort.
41:32He's trying.
41:33You won't shut up.
41:34So, Emma, you must have thought you found a brilliant hack.
41:43No, at no point did I think I'd nailed it.
41:45I think my fight or flight kicked in and it turns out I cower.
41:50I think maybe I thought that, like,
41:52I was covered by enough of it
41:53that he'd have to get it on my head
41:55and then he did that.
41:56LAUGHTER
41:57What scores are we looking at?
42:00Well, Wakka, obviously, I failed to get
42:02in the allocated 20 minutes.
42:04Emma, I got in 57 seconds.
42:06LAUGHTER
42:06So that means one point to Emma,
42:09two to Dave, three to Lisa, four to Tommy,
42:11but Wakka wins the task with five points.
42:13APPLAUSE
42:13All right, then, get your tushies up on stage
42:17for the final task of the show.
42:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:21OK, people, things, stage.
42:26Who's going to explain what's going on, Lessa Tom?
42:28I'm going to ask the team of two to read it out.
42:30Let's see.
42:30OK, in teams, feed your stick thingy
42:34through your helmet thingy.
42:35Your stick thing may not touch the sides
42:38of your helmet thingy.
42:40The team-mate wearing the helmet
42:41must be facing the audience throughout.
42:45The team-mate holding the stick thingy
42:47may not move off their mat
42:49and must be wearing their blindfolds.
42:52Fastest team wins, most rounds won wins.
42:56Right.
42:57Yep.
42:59All right, blind folds on, guys.
43:01Are we ready?
43:02Go!
43:02OK, Dave, lower your stick.
43:04Stop, stop it.
43:04Lower your stick.
43:05Lower your stick.
43:06Lower your stick.
43:07Lower your stick.
43:08Come on, come on, come on.
43:10Come on, come on.
43:11Lisa and Dave have won round one.
43:15Subsequent rounds will have different stick thingies.
43:17Oh.
43:17Different sticks?
43:20Stop looking at yourself.
43:22I think I've aged well.
43:24Do you know Hughes actually has no greys?
43:26That's just dandruff.
43:28It's a pretty good joke.
43:31All right, we ready?
43:33Set.
43:34All right.
43:35Emma, come on.
43:35All right, come, keep coming.
43:36Hold it still, hold it still.
43:38Keep coming, keep coming.
43:40Straighten it up a bit.
43:41Emma, come.
43:41Keep coming.
43:42Emma, come.
43:44You got us?
43:45Yeah, we got it.
43:45The team of three win round two.
43:47Yeah.
43:47What happened, Dave?
43:50I forgot I could walk backwards.
43:53I was too busy looking at myself.
43:57All right, round three.
43:59Go.
44:00Okay, that's it, Dave.
44:02Straighten him up.
44:02All right, dummy, come on.
44:03Twist to the right.
44:03Twist to the right.
44:04Twist to the right.
44:05Twist to the right.
44:06Is it paying us?
44:06Oh, go.
44:06Stay there.
44:07Oh, we've got a touch.
44:08Team two, touch.
44:09Oh!
44:10Both teams have touched that zero all for round three.
44:14Sorry, gang.
44:16Okay, we need to go to an ad break.
44:17If it's onesies, go now.
44:19If it's twosies, you might have to hang on.
44:21See you soon.
44:34Welcome back to Taskmaster, where our contestants have been up on stage,
44:38sticking things into other things.
44:39Just take it away, Alyssa Top.
44:40We're in the middle of a live team tasks.
44:42One person has got a helmet on with a wire thingy on it,
44:45and the others have a stick thingy that they're trying to put through the wire thingy.
44:48We've got two rounds left, and it's one point to one point.
44:52Everything to play for.
44:53Are we ready for the fourth round?
44:55Ready, set, go.
45:00Stay there.
45:01I'm coming.
45:02I'm coming home to Papa.
45:04You've got a touch, team of two.
45:06You've got a touch, team of three.
45:09Zero all in round four.
45:12Watch us up.
45:13What are you doing?
45:14I nearly broke my racket.
45:17Are we ready for round five?
45:18Ready, set, go.
45:19Okay, Dave, come up a bit and twist to the left.
45:25Twist to the left.
45:26No rush.
45:27Okay, twist to the left, mate.
45:28Twist to the left.
45:29What do you mean twist?
45:29Can you hold it up a little bit more?
45:31Straighten it up.
45:32Twist it up.
45:33No, left.
45:34Twist to the left.
45:34What the do you mean?
45:36Twist it to the left.
45:37Are you coming, Emma?
45:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:38You coming?
45:39I'm coming, twisted to the left.
45:41What do you mean?
45:42Twist it up.
45:43Up!
45:44Emma, no rush.
45:46You won!
45:48Team of two touch.
45:50Team of three have been successful.
45:52I won!
45:54I can't do it with you.
45:56I said twist to the left.
45:58You won!
45:59I said twist to the left.
46:01I got it, I got it.
46:02I got it, I got it.
46:03Can you say my goal?
46:04Who's still going?
46:04No!
46:05Can you say my goal?
46:06Who's going?
46:06All right, all right.
46:08I kept saying twist to the left.
46:10What does twist to the left mean?
46:12Cute.
46:18OK, all sticks and helmets away.
46:20Come on down and let's score that bad boy.
46:27All right, remind me of the scores, please.
46:29The A team won the first round, as we remember.
46:32The B team tied it up in the second round,
46:33but in the final round, the B team took the win.
46:35Tommy, Waka and Emma win the task.
46:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:39OK, so the better team, 555.
46:43The aged team, 3-3.
46:45OK.
46:46APPLAUSE
46:47That means it's a tight scoreboard,
46:51but winning the episode with 25 points,
46:52it's Takashi Wakasugi!
46:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:56Congratulations, Waka.
46:59Go up there and claim your most disappointing purchases.
47:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:02But what have we learnt?
47:07We learnt that if a fight's brewing up,
47:09call up Waka and throw some hole punches.
47:12Dave Hughes confirmed the obvious rumour
47:14that he doesn't wash his hair.
47:17And we learnt that Lisa McCune
47:19is finally f***ing unhinged.
47:22Hats off again to Waka
47:24and hats off to you, the viewer, for joining us.
47:27Good night!
47:27APPLAUSE
47:28The children and horny dads
47:45are crying out for more Lyssa Tom.
47:46Woo-hoo!
47:47But that would dirty up my image.
47:49God has forsaken me!
47:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:52Oh, I'd just like to say
47:58to my kids,
47:58you can have it tomorrow off school.
47:59LAUGHTER