- 8 months ago
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00:00The end of the Civil War was near
00:05Went quite accidentally
00:07A hero who sneezed
00:09Abruptly ceased retreat
00:11And reversed it to victory
00:14His medal of honor
00:17Pleased and thrilled
00:18His proud little family group
00:21While pinning it on
00:23Some blood was spilled
00:24And so it was planned
00:25He'd command
00:26Neft Troop
00:27Where Indian fights
00:29Are colorful sights
00:31And nobody takes a licking
00:33Where pale face and red skin
00:36Both turn chicken
00:38When drilling and fighting
00:40Get them down
00:41They know their morale can't droop
00:43As long as they all relax in town
00:47Before they resume
00:48With a bang and a boom
00:49Neft Troop
00:57?
01:06?
01:11?
01:12THE END
01:42Look, Vicious, come on, give us that famous Hakawi war look
01:45Hakawi, not fighters, we love us
01:48Why are we always losing picture?
01:51Because we couldn't sell them otherwise
01:53Let Indian win once
01:54They make good novelty souvenirs
01:56Listen, Wildy, those tomahawks
01:58and peace pipes you're making for us
02:00are not selling at all
02:01Hold it
02:02Not understand to make them
02:08unbreakable tomahawk, 90-moon guarantee
02:11Well, I don't know, but they're not moving
02:12Now, the blankets are fine, everybody loves them
02:15so we're gonna need some more, I'd say about two dozen
02:17No, no, Braves complained
02:19they worked last three weekends
02:20If we don't get them, we're gonna lose the season
02:22They make great gifts for Thanksgiving
02:24We not celebrate Thanksgiving
02:26We celebrate Mishaguna Festival
02:29Festival of Moon
02:30What do you need for that?
02:32Some toothpicks, extra plates?
02:34We give you more blankets, you give us something
02:37We're partners, you get half the profits on the blankets
02:39much wampum
02:40Not one profits this time
02:42One something more important
02:44Chief, you name it and you got it
02:47Our cannon?
02:49Wild Eagle wants us to give him our cannon?
02:52Not give, lend, lend
02:53They just need it for one night for their moon festival
02:56That's the only cannon we have
02:58if Captain Parma sees it missing
02:59How's he gonna find out?
03:01We'll take it out after retreat
03:02bring it back in the morning before readily
03:04But the cannon is the best protection we have against the Shogues
03:06What have they attacked tonight?
03:08They haven't attacked for months
03:09Now, listen
03:10Giving an Indian cannon is practically treason
03:15I won't have anything to do with that
03:16All right, go on, walk out on me
03:19Just forget that I saved your life
03:21Well, I'll get somebody else to help me
03:23Maybe a stranger
03:24He'd do more for me than a long and trusted friend
03:26And who put that tourniquet on your leg
03:29the day the rattlesnake bit you?
03:30And who jumped in the day you fell off your horse
03:32crossing the river, huh?
03:34And who threw the surprise birthday party for you?
03:37I'm a rat, a dirty, ungrateful rat
03:38What time do we move the cannon?
03:40Right after retreat
03:41What about Captain Parma?
03:43Don't worry, I'll take care of him
03:45If he ever sees the cannon, miss
03:46He won't
03:47He's gonna be very busy
03:50Very busy
03:52Hi, fellas
03:53Wrangler?
03:55Got a minute?
03:55What is it?
04:01Well, now, I'm not supposed to tell you this
04:03but it's about Captain Parmiter
04:05Wilton?
04:06Poor Wilton
04:07You know the story of John Alden and Priscilla
04:10Yes, it's a beautiful story
04:12but what's it got to do with us?
04:14Well, it's about this man
04:15that was too bashful to court the girl he loved
04:18I know
04:19But what's it got to do with us?
04:22Well
04:22Now, look
04:24Don't ever tell him I told you this
04:26but the captain wants to have dinner with you
04:28and he's too shy to ask you
04:30Oh, I'd like that too
04:33Uh, would you say at the trading post
04:36after retreat tonight?
04:38All right
04:39I'll meet him there
04:40Good girl, Wrangler
04:41I feel like Cupid
04:43shooting little arrows into her heart
04:45Yeah
04:46Well, if we don't get Captain Parmiter
04:48over to that trading post tonight
04:49the Hakawis are gonna be
04:50shooting little arrows into your britches
04:52We picked these for her, Captain
04:58She'll love them
04:59Give them to her at dinner time
05:00Well
05:01Neil, are you sure she really wants to have dinner with me?
05:04Captain
05:04Didn't you ever hear the story of John Alden and Priscilla?
05:08Yes
05:09Well, what's that got to do with me?
05:10Well, it's the story of a man who was too shy to court the girl he loved
05:14Oh, then you're John Alden
05:17and she's Miles Standish?
05:20Wait a minute
05:20Doesn't that make me Priscilla?
05:23Captain, please
05:25just answer the call of love
05:26Answer it with flowers
05:28Gentlemen, the call of duty comes first
05:31Sound retreat
05:32All in!
05:34Retreat!
05:37Captain
05:37I can't play retreats yet
05:40Well, I thought you'd been taking lessons
05:41Well, I have
05:42I learned to play Dixie
05:43It's a confederate song
05:45Where did you learn that?
05:47Well, I think my teacher's from Georgia
05:49Well, do the best you can
05:52Yes, sir
05:53Fire
05:58Fire
06:02Fire
06:03It's good we only do this twice a day
06:18That's what he was
06:30Brave
06:30That's what he was, brave
06:30And young
06:31Oh, so, so young
06:33That means show a little respect
06:36Take off your hat
06:37Yes, sir
06:38He and that horse practically grew up together
06:42I should write a letter to Lincoln
06:45That's what I do
06:46A letter to Lincoln
06:48Shut up
06:49We're outside
06:50Now, stand still
07:05All right
07:09Move him out
07:10Well, there's your cannon, Chief
07:17Now you owe me two dozen blankets
07:18Just one minute
07:19We've been stuck before by fast-talking pale-face
07:22I tell you, boys
07:24This is the real cannon
07:25It works perfectly
07:26Me see first
07:27If not good, me suit
07:29Oh, me not suit
07:31Me Hakawi
07:32Me make funny
07:36Isn't this romantic?
07:43Hmm, yes
07:44It's like
07:45Like John Alden and Miles Standish
07:48John Alden and Priscilla
07:49We do moon dance
07:51Cloud over face of moon
07:54We shoot cannon at the clouds
07:56Rocker, mocker, micker, rumor
07:59Got them, speeches
08:02Bring on squaws
08:03Squaws
08:04Joint party
08:05Oh, Wilton
08:10You're so sweet
08:12And so thoughtful
08:15And so kind
08:19Did you feel that?
08:27Somewhere between thoughtful and kind
08:29I think the earth moved
08:31I do thank you for that compliment
08:33But you deserve most of the credit
08:35Wilton Palmer, you're a kiss and bear king
08:38Come on now, pucker up
08:40Yahoo!
08:44Careful now, you'll bend my saber
08:46Keep party going
08:51You say magic words
08:52Me, fire, cannon
08:54Mino, sabi, poopsu
08:57Akrimatoshi
08:59Mino, sabi
09:02Make a boo-boo
09:03Make a boo-boo
09:04Wilton, you sure don't kiss like a boy from Philadelphia
09:13Did you feel that?
09:22Feel it
09:23My toes are still tingling
09:25Make another boom-boom
09:30Another boom-boom?
09:32Yes
09:32Make one more boom-boom
09:34Clouds still cover moon
09:36You make it
09:37Me, no dance
09:38Me, sit this one out
09:39Boom-boom
09:43Good night, Jane
09:48Good night, Wilton
09:49Oh, Wilton, you're making history tonight
09:57Good night, Jane
09:59Wild Eagle, we gotta have this cannon right now
10:20No, you not tank
10:22We have business agreement
10:23You take cannon back
10:25You give me two dozen blankets
10:27I sold him
10:28Then we keep cannon
10:29Look, if the captain finds it's missing
10:32We're gonna
10:32Not touch cannon
10:34We keep for moon festival
10:35You've had your festival
10:37No, cloud
10:38Cover moon
10:39How we have moon festival without moon?
10:41What if the shogs attack us?
10:44Then use more narrow like Indian do
10:46Make contest even
10:47We keep cannon till moon come out
10:50We cannot go back without this cannon
10:52Then not go back
10:53Get Feather's blanket
10:54Join tribe
10:56It's cannon's government property
10:58Honest
10:59Fun
11:00Wild Eagle
11:00Give us back the cannon
11:02It's almost time for reveille
11:03You get cannon
11:05After we see moon
11:06Wild Eagle
11:08We are gonna be court-martial
11:09Court-martial?
11:12Why'd you have to save my life?
11:14Next time I'm drowning
11:15Mind your own business
11:16Hey, Don
11:19Wake up
11:21Huh?
11:22Better blow reveille
11:23Oh?
11:44That's two-ball president of the counterforce, sir
11:50Excellent corporal
11:51You may fire the cannon
11:53Where's our cannon?
11:58Oh, well, sir
11:59You see, sir
11:59We sent the cannon away, sir
12:01To have the boar flaminized
12:03And the barrel laminated
12:04And polished and refurbished
12:05Oh
12:07How long will that take?
12:09I should think about a week, sir
12:10Here comes Colonel Donnelly, sergeant
12:13Who?
12:15He's from the inspector general's office, sir
12:18Captain Farmer
12:25Yes, sir
12:26General Ulysses asks Grant's compliments, sir
12:28The general is on an inspection tour in this area
12:31He'll be here by noon tomorrow
12:33Yes, Colonel
12:33I expect Fort Courage to be in tip-top condition
12:37Yes, sir
12:38I also expect the customary 18-gun salute for the general
12:41Where is your cannon, Captain?
12:45Cannon?
12:46Oh, oh, we sent the cannon out, sir
12:48We're having the boar framinized
12:50And the barrel glaminated
12:51With polishing and refurbishing
12:52What?
12:53What are you talking about, Captain?
12:54We sent the cannon to be repaired, sir
12:57So that it would be in first-class condition
12:59For the general's visit
13:00And how did you know the general was going to visit?
13:03Well, we have scouts, sir
13:04We have scouts everywhere
13:05Well, that cannon better be back here
13:08And in perfect shape for General Grant's visit
13:10By noon tomorrow
13:11If he wants that cannon back by tomorrow at noon
13:21Maybe we'd better skip the framinizing
13:23And just glaminate it
13:24I'm telling you, Sarge
13:33If General Grant shows up here
13:35And sees they've got our cannon
13:36He'll wipe out Fort Courage, F-Troop, and the Hakawis
13:39Wait a minute
13:42I got an idea
13:44What are you doing?
13:50Ah, oh, perfect, perfect
13:52I salute you, General Grant
13:55Are you joking?
13:58Do you know the penalty for impersonating a general?
14:01Do you know the penalty for giving a cannon
14:03U.S. government property to the Indians?
14:06I don't want to do it
14:07All right
14:08I'll get a stranger to help me
14:10He'd do more for me than an old and trusted friend
14:14Forget the tourniquet that I put on your leg
14:16When the rattlesnake bit you
14:17And who jumped in the river when you fell off the horse
14:20And who threw the surprise party
14:22All right
14:23What time will my beard be ready?
14:28Saddle your horse, Sergeant
14:29We're going to the gunsmith to fetch back our cannon
14:31Oh, I'm sorry, sir
14:32But I have to report a most unfortunate incident
14:34Well, what's that, Sergeant?
14:35Well, Agarn was on his way to fetch back our cannon
14:37Yeah, yes?
14:39A sneak attack by the Hikawi, sir
14:40They overpowered him and stole our cannon
14:42Really?
14:43Seven of them were tommy hawks, sir
14:45He's badly hurt
14:46We'll accept the challenge
14:48Sound the bugle, we'll attack
14:50Do you really want all that blood shed, sir?
14:52It's hardly worth it
14:53I mean, it's going to be all right
14:55Well, I...
14:57We could negotiate, sir
14:58Go over there under a flag of truce
15:00And bring back our cannon peacefully
15:02But I think we should attack
15:04Sir, you're already known as the Scourge of the West
15:06Now, if you would become known as the Great Peacemaker
15:10I'd just imagine if Washington were to hear of that
15:13It could be Colonel Parmenter, sir
15:16Do you have anything, sir?
15:19I do indeed, Colonel Parmenter
15:21I'll go see the Hikawis right now
15:23I think you'd better let me go first, sir
15:25What, ahead of me?
15:27You know how hostile they can be?
15:29There may be snipers
15:29I mean, we can spare sergeants
15:32But hardly a man who's on his way to becoming a colonel
15:35Dob, Dob
15:41Where's our truce flag?
15:43Where's our truce flag?
15:44We're going to go get our cannon back from the Hikawis
15:45General Grant is coming
15:46And we have to have everything like the Inspector General said
15:49Tip-top
15:49Are you sure we should go over there, sir?
15:52I mean, there'll only be a handful of us
15:54Only a handful?
15:55What of it?
15:57Have you forgotten, Dobbs?
15:59They refer to me as the Scourge of the West
16:02Oh, Ken
16:08Now listen
16:11The Captain's going to be here any minute
16:13And you remember that you're supposed to be hostile
16:15Hostile?
16:16Right
16:17What is hostile?
16:20Unfriendly
16:21No friends
16:23Why you always make us back?
16:26I keep telling you
16:27Hikawis
16:28Not fighters
16:29Lovers
16:30Lovers
16:31And don't say anything about the blankets
16:34He's pretty bad about you keeping that cannon
16:36We not give cannon back
16:38Well, I'd advise you to give it back
16:39I'll tell you one thing
16:40General Grant is in the area
16:42And if he ever finds out about this
16:44And comes over here
16:45Oh, look out
16:46We bring greetings to brave Hikawis
16:49We come in peace
16:51Chief Wild Eagle
16:56You have our cannon
17:00We want cannon back
17:04No, we keep cannon
17:07Need cannon for festival
17:08You give us cannon
17:10We give you many things
17:12We trade
17:13What you trade?
17:15First
17:16We offer you
17:18Magic fire stick
17:20Look
17:20Thank you
17:22You're very funny
17:27We got 100 boxes
17:29Magic fire sticks
17:30What you think
17:31We rub sticks together?
17:32Sorry about that
17:35Well, now we offer you
17:37Magic tick-tock
17:40Listen
17:40Tick-tock
17:42Tick-tock
17:43Tick-tock
17:44You take one
17:47Thank you
17:50Thank you very much
17:51It does have a better sound than mine
17:54Now we offer you
17:59Rare delicacy
18:01Small
18:01Round
18:02White
18:02Tasty
18:03Fruit
18:04Of chicken
18:05Egg
18:06You give eggs
18:08For cannon
18:09Captain
18:10We don't seem to be having very much luck
18:12Perhaps we ought to try
18:13I will not give up
18:14Captain, sir
18:16Can it be?
18:18Yes, it is, sir
18:19Yes, it is
18:20General Grant
18:21What's he doing here
18:25Now?
18:26Probably heard about this
18:27From one of his scouts
18:28He's got them everywhere
18:29At ease
18:43Oh, you are Captain Wilton Palminter
18:47At your service, sir
18:48Well, I bring regards from the President and Mrs. Lincoln
18:51Had lunch with them at the White House yesterday
18:54You were in Washington yesterday?
18:56Been riding ever since
18:57Forty-six hours in the saddle
18:59Lucky the wind was with me
19:01General
19:02We seem to have a problem here, sir
19:05Problem, problem?
19:06Yes, the Hakawis have borrowed
19:07Appropriated our cannon
19:10And they won't give it back, sir
19:11Outrageous!
19:13Yeah, well, I came here to negotiate, sir
19:14And try to get it back
19:15But so far, no luck
19:17General
19:18I thought perhaps you
19:19Might speak to the Hakawis
19:21Yes
19:22Yes, I will
19:23Funny thing happened to me
19:24On the way to Appomattox
19:25Bob and I
19:27That's generally
19:28Sipping some sauce
19:29Like cranberry sauce?
19:35What's your name again, boy?
19:36I forgot
19:37Wilton Palminter
19:38Wilton Palminter
19:39Well, I like you, Palminter
19:40Like you, like your saver
19:41General
19:42The cannon
19:43Hikawi, greet great white general
19:46And me, greet him Hikawi
19:47Love them all
19:48Love them all
19:49You got our cannon, boy
19:50And you better give it back
19:51We not gonna give nothing back
19:53We talk, negotiate
19:55Without shouting
19:57No talk
19:58I'm a man of action
19:59Big winner at Gettysburg
20:01Now, General
20:04Watch your temper
20:05Yeah, tell him about it
20:07He has a terrible time
20:08With his temper
20:09You not take cannon
20:11Keep cannon here
20:12Till festival
20:13Till moon come
20:14Then festival over
20:16No, wait
20:17You give us that cannon right now
20:19I want my 18-gun salute
20:21Not that much cannon
20:27Spoiled moon festival
20:29Uh, General
20:30Don't you think
20:31That you ought to warn the chief
20:32Of what he's up against
20:33Your troops, sir
20:36My what?
20:37Your troops
20:38Over by the hill
20:39Oh, yes
20:39I have 3,000 troops
20:42By that hill
20:43You see those trubs
20:44And trees
20:45Every one of them
20:46Is a soldier
20:46You ever heard of camouflage, chief?
20:47Well, it's up to you
20:49If you want to have your tribe
20:51Wiped out by 3,000 trees
20:52Uh, soldier
20:54I not see soldiers
20:56You see soldiers by hill
20:58I not see hill
21:00It's up to you
21:02You'll see the soldiers
21:03Are you ready?
21:04When I count three
21:05I want all of you trees to charge
21:07No, no, you've done it
21:09You've made him mad
21:10He'll wipe you out
21:11I not give up cannon
21:12I not see soldiers
21:14Number one tree
21:16Bah!
21:20Listen
21:20It's only a cannon
21:22Move the cannon to court courage
21:26Farewell, roaring chicken
21:29Farewell, wild eagle
21:31Captain Parmender
21:32Fine-fucked friend
21:50Peace be with you
21:51I will wipe you out
21:54Fake
21:59Cheat
22:01Indian
22:02Give up
22:03I know you did it
22:13For the good of the troop, sergeant
22:14But if you ever do it again
22:15Robert, we did it for you, sir
22:16We wanted you to be colonel
22:18General Grant is approaching, sir
22:21Dobbs
22:22Dobbs, sound the bugle
22:23Welcome, General Grant
22:24What's it to play, sir?
22:26Play, uh
22:27Battle Hymn of the Republic
22:28I don't know that one
22:30But if you'll hum a few bars, you'll hum a few.
22:36Sir, ain't that a beautiful dreamer?
22:40You're right. Don't play that. Play something else.
22:48Welcome to Fort Courage, General Grant.
22:51Corporal, fire the salute.
23:00Oh, my God.
23:30He'll never look natural now without an arrow through his hat.
23:37I should have been firmer with Sergeant O'Rourke.
23:40Wilton, there may be a big, fat old moon out again tonight.
23:44Corporal Agarn, too, impersonating an officer. A general.
23:48We should have us another picnic supper.
23:51I should have thrown the book at them.
23:54Well, I mean, shucks.
23:56There's nothing so much fun as a little old picnic.
23:58Any other fort commander would have court-martialed them just like that.
24:03A picnic? Like we had before?
24:06Of course, they did do it for the good of the truth.
24:07Just a little picnic?
24:11Well, one thing's for sure.
24:12After the lecture I gave them, it'll be a long time before either of them gets out of line again.
24:16Oh, yeah. Looks good to me.
24:25What do we call it?
24:26Uh, how about...
24:28How about the end of the trail?
24:31This'll make a great calendar item.
24:33I got better idea.
24:35Oh, what's that?
24:35This bigger cellar than blanket.
24:45What?
24:46What?
24:47What?
24:47What?
24:49¶¶
25:18¶¶
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