King Of The Hill Season 1 Episode 12 Plastic White Female
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00:00Alert, make it so.
00:05I'm having a party next Sunday.
00:08Can I come?
00:10I guess.
00:12On the photon torpedoes.
00:18Is there going to be cake?
00:21No, this party's going to be different.
00:25Different how?
00:27There's going to be girls.
00:30Fire!
00:31Fire!
01:00In 1983, disaster struck Mrs. Alma Campbell
01:16when she got her hair chemically relaxed
01:18at the Casa Linda Salon in Las Cruces.
01:21What was the issue?
01:25Miss Platter.
01:30It didn't look good?
01:32No.
01:33Miss Johnson, enlighten us, please.
01:37The stylist failed to detect the subject's habitual overuse of henna,
01:41which can prevent penetration of chemical relaxants
01:44like sodium hydroxide and ammonium thyroglycolate.
01:47Bravo.
01:49Remember, the most difficult cut in beauty school
01:52is the cut that separates first-year students from second-year students.
01:56Think about that while you study for next week's final exam, Miss Platter.
02:03A manicurist with a seven-inch file is on a train heading east at 80 miles per hour.
02:11Not another manicure question.
02:14Why do I need to learn all this stuff?
02:18Beauty is an art.
02:20It's not something you can learn in school like gym or study hall.
02:25Bills, bills, bills.
02:30Why do we keep getting bills male?
02:33Uncle Hank, want me to give you a whole new look?
02:36Why would I want to do that?
02:38You don't mess with success.
02:40But I need as much practice as I can get before my final.
02:45Please?
02:45Well, it has been almost a week since my last haircut.
02:52Now, what the heck.
02:53I could use a trim.
02:54Great!
02:56I'll be right with you.
03:03I can't see any highlights.
03:05Yes, you can.
03:06You love them.
03:07Next!
03:08Hey, what's cooking, good Lu-
03:10Well, I do not like it either, but I am trying to be supportive of Luanne's education, and I expect you to do the same.
03:21Uncle Hank!
03:22One share, no waiting!
03:25No way, Peggy.
03:27Uh-uh.
03:27My hair is our livelihood.
03:31The advantages of propane don't always sell themselves.
03:35All set, Uncle Hank.
03:38Uh, Luanne, I'm thinking about just letting my hair grow.
03:44Oh.
03:45Well, have you ever considered a different color?
03:49Oh, men don't do that.
03:52Oh, sure they do.
03:55Even President Reagan did.
03:58Hey, now, if Ron Reagan dyed his hair, and I'm not saying he did, it was only to show his strength to the communists.
04:10Joseph's having a party.
04:12A boy-girl party.
04:15With girls.
04:16You're gonna need some chaperones, especially if my Bobby's there.
04:20Don't worry, I got it all under control.
04:25There's not gonna be any hanky-panky at my house.
04:29Hey, John Redcorn.
04:34Huh.
04:35Yeah.
04:37You know, it's about time Bobby got bit by the love bug.
04:42Boy, when I was his age, I was a girl crazy.
04:47They called me Ricardo Montalban.
04:51Heh.
04:52After the actor.
04:54Yep.
04:55Joseph's getting to be a real lady killer, too.
05:00I reckon he gets that from his old man.
05:07Hey there, Bobby.
05:09I guess they found a cure for the cooties.
05:13Heh, heh, heh.
05:13I don't know.
05:15What are cooties?
05:16Well, when I was a boy, that's what we called the germs you got from girls.
05:21Oh, you mean like chlamydia?
05:24Huh?
05:24What on earth are you two talking about?
05:27Bobby was invited to his first boy-girl party.
05:31A boy-girl party?
05:34Already?
05:34Well, I don't think I want to go.
05:37Well, that's just fine, Bobby.
05:40Would you like a juice box?
05:41Wait a minute.
05:43Son, why would you not want to go to a boy-girl party?
05:48Parties are fun, Bobby.
05:50Everybody dresses up and gets a touch dance.
05:55Touch dance?
05:57I don't know.
05:59What if I get filled up?
06:01Oh, you just need some practice.
06:03Luanne's right.
06:08All you need is practice.
06:10You think Jeff Foxworthy just woke up one day and took some funny pills?
06:16And that's why blondes don't necessarily have more fun.
06:20All right, class.
06:21Let's take a few moments to discuss next week's final exam.
06:25Mr. Hernandez, hand them their heads.
06:30You will be required to demonstrate a year's worth of theory on your practice head.
06:35Be advised, in beauty school, as in life, you only get one head.
06:42You will need to use both to pass the exam, Miss Platter.
06:46Hey, watch where you're going.
06:59Okay.
07:00Okay.
07:16Hey, Bobby.
07:42Wanna eat?
07:43What?
07:45Okay.
07:46Are you going to Joseph's party?
07:50Nope.
07:51My dad won't let me be around boys until after I'm married.
07:54Are you going?
07:56Nah.
07:57Joseph's got a birthday in nine weeks.
07:59And I don't want to get partied out.
08:04Bobby, which bolo tie do you want to wear to the party?
08:08The cow's skull or the bull's skull?
08:10It doesn't matter.
08:12I'm not going.
08:13What?
08:14It's just a dumb party.
08:15A dumb party with girls.
08:18Well, I don't like girls.
08:21Peg, honey, close the screen door.
08:25Hank, can I speak with you?
08:26In a minute.
08:27In the kitchen.
08:28This better be about dinner.
08:31Well, Hank Hill, why don't you just drive him out to Hollywood and put him on the dating game?
08:38He's almost a teenager.
08:41It ain't normal not to be curious.
08:44Oh, it is perfectly normal for a late bloomer to be a little...
08:47Hey, he is not a late bloomer.
08:49How can you even think something like that about your own son?
08:53Well, he obviously is not ready to socialize with the opposite sex, Hank.
08:58The way you baby him, he never will be.
09:01Do you know anyone who would like a hot fudge sundae?
09:10Look, Aunt Peggy, I got my practice head.
09:13It's got real hair and everything.
09:17Well, Luanne, it's a very nice head.
09:19Don't touch it!
09:20Aunt Peggy, I can't let anything happen to it before my final exam.
09:25This is my chance to show everyone it doesn't matter that I wasn't paying any attention.
09:31I may not be both...
09:33Oh, thanks.
09:55Well, Bobby and I are going to the mall.
10:14There is a sale on jockey shorts at Sears.
10:16Oh, maybe I'll go with you.
10:20Okay.
10:22Bobby, by my nose, come on.
10:23Oh, I just remembered there's an after-school special on.
10:28It's about Jesus.
10:32Oh, well, you cannot miss that.
10:36Okay, Luanne, it's just you and me.
10:40Okay, bye.
10:53Hi.
11:02I'm Bobby.
11:07I'm sorry.
11:09We're all out of diet.
11:10You look really special tonight.
11:18You want to dance?
11:20I'm sorry.
11:50Hello, sweetheart.
11:51Nothing.
11:55Hey, Dale.
11:57Bill.
11:58Boomhauer.
11:59Don't you, Dale.
12:01Bill.
12:01Boomhauer us.
12:03You said noon.
12:04It's 12.15.
12:06Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting?
12:10I overslept.
12:11I overslept.
12:12My damned hair is getting so long, it's rustling on my pillow and keeping me up all night.
12:18Uncle Hank, I've never seen you with such long hair.
12:21Come on, let me trim it.
12:23Uh, nope.
12:24Sorry.
12:24I love my long, long hair.
12:27Why don't you practice on your practice head?
12:30But I only get one chance to cut that hair.
12:34Hey.
12:35We got a whole busload of new recruits coming on base today.
12:39You could practice on them.
12:41Thanks, Mr. Doe-Chief.
12:43I'll go get my instruments.
12:46Boy, I can't wait for her to get that damn test over with.
12:51Yeah, I know.
12:51You know, I feel for that kid.
12:53I remember when I was starting out as a young barber, I felt so alone.
12:58Nobody cares, Bill.
13:06Mm-hmm.
13:08Clean lines, nice shape on the cowlick.
13:12Primo cut, Luanne.
13:13Thank you, Mr. Doe-Chief.
13:23Wow, you look good.
13:26You look better than good.
13:28You look like a weatherman.
13:31I'm just gonna have some fruit and a glass of skim milk.
13:36I want to slim down for Joseph's party.
13:39Attaboy.
13:41But, Bobby, you said you didn't want to go.
13:43I changed my mind.
13:45He changed his mind.
13:47Bet I know why.
13:49Bobby Hill has a girlfriend.
13:52He does not.
13:53Do you?
13:54No.
13:55There's nothing to be embarrassed about, son.
13:58Hell, I'm proud of you.
14:00Hell, I'm proud of you, too, Dad.
14:02Bye.
14:03See, Peggy?
14:04Our boy is perfectly normal.
14:13Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
14:17And we wouldn't have to wait so long
14:21And wouldn't it be nice to live together
14:26In the kind of world where we belong
14:31You know it's gonna make it that much better
14:36When we can say goodnight and stay together
14:42What can it be nice if we wake up in the morning
14:51Well, the day is new
14:54And after having spent the day together
14:58Hold each other close for a whole night
15:02Hey, Courtney
15:03Hey, Courtney
15:03How you doing, Ashley?
15:06Looking good, Maria
15:08I'll catch you later, Bonnie
15:10Man
15:11When did you get to be so slick?
15:15What do you mean?
15:17Yo, Sharice, you stone cold fox
15:19What up?
15:19You're gonna be the most popular guy at my party
15:23I hope your lips don't fall off
15:26From what?
15:28From kissing
15:29We're gonna play spin the bottle
15:33Guess who?
15:41You look so tense
15:46I have something special planned for tonight
15:50Bobby
16:00Honey, I need some help with the groceries
16:04Bobby
16:09Relax, baby
16:20It's just you and me
16:23Bobby
16:30Mom
16:31You must have got it wrong
16:40Maybe he just fell on it or something
16:43Hank, he was kissing it
16:46I saw it with my own two eyes
16:48I'm gonna be seeing it for the rest of my life
16:51Now, Peggy, it's not your fault
16:54Well, why'd you say that?
16:56I just said it's not your fault
16:58Well, it did not need saying
17:01I know it is not my fault
17:03If anything, this is your fault
17:07You made him go to that camp with no toilet doors
17:10Don't point your finger at me, woman
17:12You're the one who parks him in front of the TV
17:15And makes him watch all them Muppets
17:17They got frogs kissing pigs
17:20What the hell do they think was gonna happen?
17:23We are not gonna get anywhere by attacking each other
17:26We have to do the sensible thing
17:29We'll move to Berlin
17:32What?
17:33Bobby will be accepted there
17:34I read somewhere that Germans, they're a very tolerant people
17:38Their culture admires all kinds of freaks
17:41Our boy is not a freak
17:44He's just confused
17:46Now, I'm gonna cut those apron strings you got him tied down with
17:50And set that boy straight, I tell you what
17:53Bobby
17:55We're heading down the hall towards your room, son
18:00That's us knocking
18:07Your mother and me
18:09Come in
18:10Okay, then
18:12We're coming on in
18:20Bobby, how'd you like to go for a car ride?
18:29Look, Bobby
18:30I'm as open-minded as the next guy
18:32But just so you know
18:34Most states won't let you marry a plastic head
18:37I don't want to marry it
18:39I just needed to practice my first kiss
18:43So I don't look like an idiot
18:45You're kissing a plastic head
18:48And you're afraid of looking like an idiot?
18:50Son, I'm doing this for your own good
18:54You're just using this head as a crutch
18:57It's not a crutch, Dad
18:59It's something I've come to rely on to help me through life
19:03Well, I'll make you a deal
19:05Go to your party
19:07Afterwards, if you still want this head, you can have it
19:11But I won't need it after the party
19:13Exactly
19:14And let this be the end of it
19:19I don't know if you're watching this together
19:21I don't know if you're going to be the end of it
19:26I don't know if you're watching this
19:26I don't know if you're watching this
19:27It's a crutch
19:27Well, that just tears it.
19:51I have tried to be patient, but now it's time for a little tough love.
19:57No!
19:59Wait!
20:01What's going on?
20:03I don't know.
20:04No, Dad!
20:06No!
20:08Hi!
20:10Stop!
20:12Hi!
20:13Please!
20:14Oh, no!
20:16Please don't go back!
20:18That's my test!
20:20What about my test?
20:27Passable.
20:28Good.
20:29First, this is not the plastic head you were issued.
20:38Second, just look at the way you shaved against the grain here, here, and here.
20:44And these are the worst sideburns I've seen since chair three, which makes me suspect
20:50you cheated.
20:51F.
20:53That means you fail.
20:55What a bitch.
21:02Ah, don't cry, Luanne.
21:06This is the best haircut I ever had.
21:09The hair is all nice and uniform, which is tough, because I have bumps here and here.
21:16I noticed.
21:17I layered on the up slopes and tapered on the down.
21:22Yep.
21:23This is my all-time favorite haircut.
21:27Thanks, Uncle Hank.
21:30Miss Platter, I...
21:33I'm sorry.
21:35I've been mean and unfair.
21:37I guess I just got so far from the hair and so into the whole power trip of running the
21:43academy.
21:44I forgot the most important principle of the beautician's art.
21:50Repeat business and referrals.
21:53You pleased your customer.
21:56You pass.
21:58Oh.
21:59Wow.
22:01Hey!
22:02Hey!
22:03Ow!
22:04Come here, Lady Bird.
22:05Come here.
22:06You're so pretty.
22:07Ow!
22:11Come here, Lady Bird.
22:16Come here, you're so pretty.
22:18Ow!
22:19Ow!
22:20Come here.
22:21Come here, Lady Bird.
22:23Come here.
22:24You're so pretty.
22:25Ow!
22:26Bobby, your father told me you were just kissing the head for practice.
22:34Now, I know he made that up to protect me.
22:37But I am your mother, and I have decided that I am going to love you no matter what.
22:45Okay.
22:46I realize I am just as much to blame for your condition as the media and the devil.
22:53I have been overprotective.
22:55You're not a baby anymore.
22:57You are going to have a long and interesting life ahead of you, and it's time for me to just let go.
23:04Just let go so you go on.
23:07You go to the party.
23:09That's right.
23:10Just spread your wings and fly away, little bird.
23:13Watch out!
23:39Hey, aren't you going to Joseph's party?
23:44I can't.
23:44It's a make-out party, and my dad took away my plastic head.
23:49What a buzzkill.
23:50I've been practicing, too.
23:52Look.
23:52What a great idea!
23:57I want my first kiss to be perfect.
23:59You know, something sweet I can keep with me my whole life.
24:03Hey, Bobby, can we practice on each other?
24:07You want to kiss me?
24:09No, just practice.
24:11Oh, okay.
24:14Close your eyes.
24:14This is stupid.
24:19Let's try it with our eyes open.
24:22Was that right?
24:30I think so.
24:32Do I have any hickeys?
24:33I don't see anything.
24:36Tom Junior, come home for dinner.
24:38Your brain's getting cold.
24:42Well, I better get to that party.
24:47Hey.
24:48Good luck.
24:50Thanks.
25:10All right.
25:12Why is it so quiet down here?
25:14What are you kids up to?
25:16Dad!
25:22Oh, Dale, let's leave him alone.
25:25You can't leave him alone.
25:26Oh, for Pete's sake.
25:28I told you this was going to happen when we get them boys and girls leaving them alone.
25:32We're getting all that hanky-panky going on.
25:34That's what both of them are going on.
25:37Damn sugar.
25:38Damn sugar.
25:40Sugar.
25:40What?
25:41Sugar.
25:41What?
25:43Ah!
25:44Ah!
25:44Ah!
25:45Ah!
25:46Ah!
26:15Ah!