Medical school is tough work--except when the students throw a party! Join these wild and crazy med students as they work in a little extracurricular activity. Of course, what's a check-up without a complete physical?
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:30CastingWords
01:00Attention, all Quinn University students.
01:03The Quack Student League of Dermatory 17 will be conducting an experiment this evening
01:07on recent developments in the field of hydrotherapy.
01:11Pre-med students with congenital mammary and abundance are urged to attend.
01:15Dr. Julian K. Spartanhead and other pillars of the medical community
01:19will be on hand to offer assistance in the application of the technique.
01:23And a personal demonstration of correlative measures in the field of penal enlargement
01:28will be explored by noted urologist Dr. Jennifer P. Fleiss.
01:33Interested parties are encouraged to consume large quantities of beer before attending.
01:37Restroom space may be limited.
01:40Reservations are advised.
01:41I'll take it fast, I'll take it slow, we'll make a land.
02:03And I need to know if I do for you
02:07What you do for me
02:10Why me go down to...
02:14This disc jockey's great.
02:16I love the way he phrases things.
02:18Yeah.
02:18You sure get away with words, huh?
02:20Oh, yeah.
02:20Well, I would like to have a few wayward words with her.
02:27Ah, the wasting time.
02:29She's only in the wind.
02:31How can you tell?
02:33Oh, it's like that old World War II saying, you know?
02:35Blue slips, the same ships.
02:39Well, I say, man torpedoes.
02:44Bombs away.
02:45Dr. Debbie DeZolman, please report to oral surgery immediately for hydrotherapy.
02:52Dr. Debbie DeZolman.
02:56I'm long, long, long
02:58When it's right, can't go wrong
03:04And I knew it all alone
03:07From the very start
03:10You had a hold on me
03:13You're so good when you're so bad
03:18You show me better love than I ever had
03:22Can't help myself
03:24Whenever I'm with you
03:27See what I mean?
03:30She's getting off on the canvas, just like we are.
03:33I'll tell you, the right guy came along, man.
03:35She changed her food.
03:36Oh, you're dreaming, pal.
03:38No way.
03:38I am serious.
03:40You're talking apples and oranges here.
03:42Well, and peaches.
03:46I bet I could get her in the sack.
03:48Oh, man.
03:49Listen, I got a C-spot here
03:51That says you will strike out
03:53By the stroke of midnight.
03:56Midnight?
03:59All right.
04:00It gives me about an hour and a half.
04:03It's a pretty tall order, even if she was hetero.
04:06Put your money where your mouth is.
04:08Or should I say where you wish your mouth was?
04:10All right, Duncan.
04:12We'll see who winds up with a mouth.
04:15You got it back.
04:16All right.
04:17Midnight.
04:18Midnight.
04:19Oh, and just to make things fair,
04:21why don't you pick out any girl here?
04:26And if I don't score by the same time limit,
04:29you don't have to pay me if you lose.
04:30All right.
04:33What about Katie?
04:35I hear she's so frigid, she lose icicles wherever she sits down.
04:39Well, you know what happens to icicles once you thaw them up, don't you?
04:43They leave a big white spot.
04:46What?
04:46Oh!
04:46Oh!
04:46Oh!
04:47What you do for me?
04:52Wile me up and take me down.
04:56Oh, my feet's still on the ground.
04:59I'm in love, love, love.
05:02And I'm all sugar.
05:08So, how's the beer?
05:11I've had better.
05:12I'll tell you, I've got a case of, uh, schnockers up in my room.
05:18I'd be glad to go get you, Bob.
05:20What is that?
05:20Some kind of beer?
05:22It's the best in the world.
05:24It's from Nepal.
05:26Nepal, huh?
05:28Yeah, you see, the brewmaster's Tibetan yogi.
05:31He's 110 years old.
05:33This guy makes his beer with the snow from the top of Mount Everest
05:36and oats and barley grown in the foothills of Kathmandu.
05:41It's incredible beer.
05:43Believe me.
05:44What was his name?
05:45Steve.
05:46Steve Kirsten.
05:47No, I meant, what was the name of the beer?
05:51Snockers.
05:52Himalayan pills.
05:54I'll have to remember that if I'm ever in Nepal.
05:56I'm going to go somewhere
05:58You show me better love than I've ever had
06:02Can't help myself
06:04We'll never ride with you
06:07I'll lay it on the night
06:13I want you all the time
06:16All I do is think of you
06:20Can't get you on my mind
06:33So what do you say, Elaine?
06:35You want to come upstairs and get schnockered?
06:38I think I'll help out the national trade deficit
06:40by sticking to American level this evening
06:42Jesus, one lousy beer is not going to upset the trade imbalance
06:46It's like trying to affect the tide by pissing in the ocean
06:49It's my body, I'll piss wherever I want to
06:52All I do is think of you
06:55Can't get you on my mind
06:58Baby, I'm wrong, wrong, wrong
07:02Let me be your only one
07:06Baby, I'm wrong, wrong, wrong
07:09Let me show you how it's done
07:13Long, long, wrong
07:16Baby, I'm wrong, wrong, wrong
07:20Long, long, wrong
07:24Long, long, wrong
07:31Thank you, Debbie
07:38Your test results will be coming in the mail
07:40Look, Elaine
07:47Not only have I got Himalayan beer upstairs
07:50but I've got...
07:50Listen, Steve
07:51There's not a snowball's chance in the microwave
07:53that I will ever go to bed with you
07:55So why don't you conserve all that hot air, okay?
07:57It's depleting the ozone layer
07:59Dr. Anita Cox of the gynecology department
08:02Please scrub up and report to the hydrotherapy lab immediately
08:06Dr. Anita Cox to the lab
08:08Light energy
08:22Run around my brain
08:23Go towards the center
08:25For I go insane
08:26Now I'm through logic for a golden view
08:30Tie me up
08:31And tear me loose
08:31I'll breathe into the blue
08:33So now you ask me what I wanna do
08:36Break through the shadows to find out what is true
08:39Let's make a circuit
08:41Electric circuit
08:42Let's make a circuit
08:44Let's make a circuit
08:47Electric circuit
08:49A circuit
08:52How can I fling?
09:00If I run away and hide
09:01We'll get together
09:03Take a look inside
09:04And go
09:05Throw me down
09:06Pick me up
09:07I'll breathe in the back
09:07So how come you're not in a contest?
09:10I think contests like these are degrading.
09:13They totally devalue women and reinforce the notion of being sex subjects.
09:17Well, I agree 100%.
09:18You do?
09:21Yeah.
09:23Well, I think instead of judging people with lingerie and, you know, bikinis,
09:28they should judge people on their personality and, you know, the good deeds they do in life.
09:33You know, helping the environment and world hunger and all.
09:35Why are you looking at me so strange?
09:39I'm, I'm awestruck.
09:41I never knew a man like you could exist.
09:44A man that thinks with his brain instead of his penis?
09:50Wow.
09:50Come here.
10:05No more baggage, where we're gonna go?
10:08We're slipping through the vortex, going with the flow.
10:12The transmutation of the finest formula line.
10:15Kick me down, beat me up, I'll breathe until I can't.
10:17Yeah, before I should have been on any dates lately?
10:20As a matter of fact, I have two different sex partners right now.
10:25Two? You're kidding.
10:26Who?
10:27Right in Latina.
10:29What are they, Lithuania or something?
10:31No, no, they're both American as apple pie.
10:33Let's make a circuit.
10:38How can the flame lift the runaway and hide?
10:41We'll get together, take a look inside.
10:44Jump in the looking glass, long way to go.
10:47Throw me down, pick me up, I'll breathe until I'm blue.
10:51And now I'll tell you what I wanna do.
10:54Break through the shadows to fight, that world is true.
10:57Let's make a circuit.
10:58Do they know Nightjohn?
11:00Oh, yeah.
11:01They hang out together all the time.
11:04You ever sleep with the both of them at the same time?
11:07Oh, yeah, I'm telling you, they're like a couple of rabbits.
11:17Thank you, Anita.
11:18A very impressive display of medical expertise.
11:20I can't stand that disc jockey downstairs.
11:39Why?
11:40What don't you like about him?
11:40His humor is totally infantile.
11:44His comments are sexist and misogynist.
11:47And every other word out of his mouth is utterly disgusting.
11:52Bottom line is, he's a jerk.
11:56And I think somebody else should get his job.
11:58Well, honey, I couldn't agree with your bottom line more.
12:08Duncan?
12:10Yeah?
12:11I think I've found my dream come true.
12:14My prince.
12:15Have you been all my life?
12:25I might have been sitting on a lily pad, waiting for a princess to come by and kiss me.
12:31Oh, my God.
12:44Oh, my God.
12:47Oh, my goodness.
12:49Oh, my goodness.
12:52Oh, my God.
12:58There you go.
13:24Damn, when do I get to sleep with those two chicks?
13:27Whatever you want.
13:28Mike, Rita, Mrs. Leftina.
13:31Oh, man, I should have known you're jerking me off.
13:34Duncan.
13:35Why?
13:36I had you pegged all around when I first met you.
13:39Yeah? How'd you have me pegged?
13:42I thought you were just another typical guy out for a quick piece of ass.
13:53Okay.
13:53Okay.
13:53Let's make a circuit.
13:59Karina Gabler of the Proctology Department C, please scrub up thoroughly and report to
14:04the Lansing Ward for a bipolar hemorrhoidal operation.
14:07Karina Gabler to the Lansing Ward immediately.
14:09I feel like I've known you from somewhere else before.
14:34We don't have to make love tonight.
14:42You know, just being with you is enough.
14:46I'm serious.
14:47We don't have to go all the way.
14:49You know what?
14:50You really feel that way?
14:53Yeah.
14:53Because you didn't feel that way,
14:58I want to go all the way with you.
15:01Heart of the Proctology Department C, please.
15:02I want to go all the way with you.
15:05Oh yeah.
15:06Whoa.
15:06Oh yeah.
15:08I know.
15:12Each time I turn around, I swear I'll see you there.
15:18I hear whispers in the night
15:23I'll feel you touch somewhere
15:25Thought I could forget you
15:29But the truth is plain to see
15:32I'm at your mercy, babe
15:37But what you touch has done to me
15:41Cold and warm
15:44It's the price of my death
15:47Dean Crawley, what a surprise to see you here tonight
15:51You know, I've been fielding a lot of complaints
15:54About these contests you're holding at these parties
15:57Don't you know that these kind of activities
16:00Are politically incorrect these times?
16:03Oh, come on, Dean Crawley doesn't hurt anybody
16:05Besides, it's good exercise for the girl
16:09Oh, God
16:11Oh, baby
16:13Well, there are a lot of other ways to get exercise
16:18And to go prating around in with wet t-shirts
16:22Yeah, I know
16:23I just ask right out left Tina over here
16:25All right?
16:26Well
16:27You're incredible, Duncan
16:55Last time I came like that
16:59I was in the bathtub under the faucet
17:02Thanks
17:04When's the last time you made love with somebody?
17:14Let's see
17:14To be honest with you, I don't remember
17:20This stupid t-shirt contest should be over soon
17:28Hey, you want to go dance?
17:30No, I'm not really a good dancer
17:32Oh, come on
17:33I'm really not
17:33Come on
17:35Come on, it's just like doing the same thing we were doing in bed
17:38Except doing it vertically
17:39Thank you, Karina
17:57Be advised that the patient in room 7 has requested an addendum to his daily high colonic
18:02No one's ever had this effect on me
18:10In other situations, I'm as calm as can be
18:15I stay so cool with all the other flaws
18:19Look Elaine, I'm gonna lay my cards out on the table
18:25I made a bet with my friend Duncan
18:27That I'd get you in bed
18:29Despite your alternative sexual preference
18:31Now he's up there right now in the tunnel of love with some girl Katie
18:35On who I made a counter bet
18:37Elaine, I can't afford to lose the money
18:41If you could just lie to him
18:44And tell him we had sex
18:45I'd split the money with you 50-50
18:47You and your friend
18:49Are the lowest scum
18:51That ever crawled out of the primordial ooze
18:54Get out of my sight before I try to even the trade deficit
18:56By lifting my leg on your shoes
18:58Katie, I'll tell you what
19:09Um, I gotta talk to my friend Mike here
19:11Can I just meet you on the dance floor in a minute?
19:14Okay, but don't keep me waiting
19:16Oh, I won't
19:16I don't want to turn into a frog again
19:19Can you believe the nerve of those jerks?
19:23Fitting us women like we're some dogs at a racetrack?
19:26My mother always told me I'll meet her school
19:28You should listen to your mother
19:29I think I'm in love
19:32With who?
19:36Duncan
19:36Honey, I hate to piss on your parade
19:39But there's really something you should know
19:41So I say to her
19:44Listen, honey
19:44We don't have to go all the way if you don't want to
19:46She goes
19:47Because you don't want to
19:48I want to
19:50Oh, it was like taking candy from a baby
19:52Oh, it looks like I'm about to be a hundred bucks richer
19:56Yeah
19:57Will you take an IOU?
20:00I'll take an IOU
20:00Oh, Steve
20:02I just want to thank you for the best lay I've ever had
20:05You were so good
20:06I've decided to go back to being bi
20:09What?
20:13You're such a stud
20:14We did it on a back porch in a swing
20:17We were like Tarzan and Jane
20:19Steve
20:20You am
20:21Oh, it's Duncan
20:22Since you're on the subject of swinging
20:25I swing both ways
20:27Really?
20:29The three of us are just on the way up to the tunnel of love
20:31A little femme l'image a trois
20:33Yeah, and we were wondering if your gambling partner here would like to watch
20:38Come on
20:40Oh, I don't mind if I do
20:42Yes
20:44See you later, boys
20:46Dr. Hedda Pinkowitz of the Neurosurgery Department
20:52Please report to hydrotherapy room B to tend to a water sports injury
20:56Dr. Hedda Pinkowitz to the hydrotherapy room B
20:59Let me ask you gentlemen something
21:09How do you think this sort of thing reflects on the reputation of our esteemed university?
21:14I think it's a fine reflection, sir
21:17A very fine reflection, if you ask me
21:20Oh, man
21:24Bam
21:27This is better than watching a Monday night football game
21:30I hear you
21:32Oh, yeah, hey
21:34By the way, here's your dumb man
21:36I got to hand it to you, pal
21:37I didn't think you had it in here
21:38What can I say?
21:39It's kind of like baseball
21:40It's all in the delivery
21:43It's all in doubt
21:45Wine
21:46Too much
21:48Wine
21:49Oh
21:49You really got me going
21:52The way I've teased
21:54Met
21:55With your
21:56C.I.
21:57Well, I think this sort of thing has to be stopped
22:00I mean, it's very exploiting
22:02Oh, come on, Dean Crowley
22:04It's just a bunch of med students
22:05Try to blow up the election scene
22:06Well, we have a reputation in the university to think about
22:08I mean, if they have to blow anything
22:09They should
22:10Get a harmonica
22:12Would you boys like to join in some fun?
22:18Yeah, buddy
22:19Oh, yeah
22:20Wait
22:21Hold your horses, guys
22:23Take your clothes off first
22:25No problem
22:26Find me up
22:41Wind me up
22:45Wind me up
22:50Wind me up
22:53Wind me up
22:58Here, put these on
22:59Cool
23:00We're a little kinky
23:02What, I'll say
23:03You could say we want a little wet t-shirt contest of our own
23:08Right, girls?
23:10Yeah
23:11Thank you
23:12Woo!
23:12Yeah
23:13Woo!
23:14Yeah
23:14Make some room
23:16Coming in
23:20Oh, a little male bonding here, huh?
23:26This girl's really art kinky, man
23:28You know
23:28You ain't seen nothing yet
23:31Thank you, Hedda
23:32For an uplifting display of surgical skill
23:34Attention all medical personnel
23:50In addition to our regularly scheduled hydrotherapy session tonight
23:54We have a last-minute entry submitted by students
23:57Elaine Turnbull, Raquel Hornsby, and Katie Peelhoff
24:01Woo-hoo!
24:02Yeah
24:03Woo!
24:04Woo!
24:05Here's a...
24:06Woo!
24:07Woo!
24:08Woo!
24:09Woo!
24:10Woo!
24:11Woo!
24:12Woo!
24:13Nice look!
24:14Yes!
24:15Good
24:16Woo!
24:17Woo!
24:18Woo!
24:19You're not afraid, Stunkin
24:21You're not even a frog
24:22You're a toad
24:24You're worse than a toad
24:26You're the wart on a toad's butt before it's gonna go to the bathroom
24:28It's going to go to the bathroom.
24:30It'll be the bump on a toad turd in an over-polluted pond.
24:34A toxic waste dump.
24:36Doesn't sound like you made any brownie points or whatever.
24:39No, thanks for that.
24:40I'm sorry, Katie.
24:44Our medical examination board has declared entry number five
24:47to be the winner of the hydrotherapy competition.
24:50Both these participants will each be awarded a solid gold rectal thermometer for their efforts,
24:55which is the highest honor bestowed by the Quack Student League.
24:59What a winner!
25:15Well, I suppose these contests aren't so bad after all.
25:19The accusation that you exploit women just doesn't hold water at all.
25:23Well, um, carry on, carry on.
25:29Hey!
25:30I won't hurry at the appointment, no
25:36Won't be watching the clock
25:39Attention all Quinn University students.
25:42The Quack Student Council of Dormitory 17
25:44are conducting a medical research experiment this evening
25:48on the correlation between oral fixation and anal retentiveness.
25:52All pre-med students are invited to lend a hand
25:55in determining the outcome of the experimentation.
25:58All participants will be taken on a first-come, first-served basis.
26:02Refreshments will be served following the lecture by Dr. Hannigan Spilunker.
26:06Steve, uh, rumor has you made it with the land.
26:12Yeah, I wish.
26:16You know, a guy would have better luck trying to break into Fort Knox.
26:20Man, I bet a guy could get to first base, huh?
26:24You gotta be kidding me, man.
26:25You can't even get into the batter's box.
26:28I'll tell you, for a woman, though,
26:30I bet it'd be a whole different story.
26:32Dr. Debbie DeZolman,
26:43please report to the testing lab
26:45for application of topical dressing.
26:48Debbie DeZolman to the testing lab.
26:50Stat.
26:50You know who I think is cute?
27:11Her?
27:12Steve.
27:13Kirshner?
27:14Mm-hmm.
27:15I think he's a doll.
27:17He's also an asshole with a capital A.
27:19A or no A.
27:21He looks like the type who can do the F word
27:22good enough to bring him the big O.
27:26I'll be right back, Raquel.
27:27I have to go.
27:28LMNOP.
27:28I'm going to make you lovely
27:32If it's the last thing I do
27:36I'm going to make you lovely
27:50If it's the last thing I do
27:54I'm going to make you lovely
27:59I'm going to make you lovely
28:00I'm going to make you lovely
28:17I'm going to make you lovely
28:29I'm going to make you lovely
28:33Hi
28:33Hi
28:35Are you new here?
28:38Yes
28:38I enroll late in the term
28:41Oh
28:42Do you live in a dorm or off campus?
28:46Off.
28:49Nice outfit. Where'd you get it?
28:51Oh, it's just a little something I picked up recently.
28:55It was on sale.
28:58Where are my clothes?
29:00I threw them right down there.
29:02On the floor.
29:03I can't believe you did that.
29:04In this pig's guy?
29:06Well, Cal, what'd you expect me to do?
29:07Get up in the middle of the floor play and hang him up in the closet?
29:10I'm Elaine.
29:10Hi, I'm Michelle.
29:15Mmm, nice firm handshake.
29:17I like that in a woman.
29:20Not all women like it, you know.
29:22I know.
29:23It takes a very special woman to appreciate it.
29:28Very special type of woman.
29:31Well, they couldn't have just got up and walked away.
29:33They've got to be in here somewhere.
29:36Well, maybe this room is like the Bermuda Triangle or something.
29:39Listen, Buster, you better start looking for my clothes.
29:43I'm going to start busting some balls.
29:45So, what field of medicine are you specializing in?
29:48Um, brain surgery.
29:52Oh, so you like to get a little head, do you?
29:54That's a little med school joke.
29:57That's very clever.
29:59Funny you should mention it, Elaine.
30:02You've touched upon a topic I wouldn't mind exploring.
30:07Shall we say, a little more in depth?
30:09Some woman, oh, yeah, yeah.
30:19Now she's a real hot-staffer and she gets what she wants.
30:24She really throws it around.
30:27She'll fly around the world and you'll see won't even leave the ground.
30:32Oh, Michelle, you've got a little hair in there for a look.
30:35Shit.
30:36I do.
30:38I like that on a woman.
30:40You do.
30:43I'm so glad you do.
30:47I'll bet I know something else you like.
30:49Oh, Michelle, I can tell you've done this before.
31:03I have.
31:04You don't think I'm a slut, do you?
31:06Oh, no, Michelle.
31:07I don't think that at all.
31:09Oh.
31:10I'm glad.
31:11I'd hate to get a bad reputation right off the start at this prestigious medical school.
31:19Well, your little secret's safe with me.
31:22If you don't want to come out of the closet, I can understand.
31:25It's your prerogative.
31:26Has anyone seen my clothes?
31:37Did you check lost and found?
31:40No, but when I find the son of a bitch who took them, he's going to end up in the hospital.
31:44See what I mean?
31:49It unravels the moral fabric of the whole student body.
31:52When we were in med school, we would never even thought about having anything as disgusting as a whipped cream bikini contest.
32:00Yes, yes, yes, you're right, Michelle.
32:02We were too busy.
32:03There's nothing hard to have a more genius.
32:06Ooh, Michelle, where did you learn to do that?
32:14It's just a little something I picked up in the course of life.
32:26Kind of like riding a bicycle.
32:28Once you take off the training wheels, you can ride for miles.
32:31Don't be mad at us, Michelle.
32:33That was more like a 10-speed racer whipping around the corners in the Grand Prix.
32:39Jesus, girl, when I catch my breath, I am going to do you.
32:44Whatever gave you the impression I was that kind of girl?
32:51Close your eyes, Elaine.
32:53I have a very special surprise for you.
32:55What is it?
32:58Something my last girlfriend gave me is a birthday gift.
33:01Ooh, I love surprises.
33:04Keep them closed.
33:07Oh, Michelle!
33:11I've never done it with a strap on before.
33:14It was the first time for everything.
33:16There you are, you thief!
33:17You, this...
33:19Can't a couple girls have some privacy?
33:21Not when one of them's a thief.
33:23Hey, wait a minute.
33:25You prick!
33:26You mean that thing was for real?
33:27You should say you like surprises.
33:29Here's that C-note, man.
33:30I gotta tell you, you got a lot of holes.
33:33Elaine.
33:34You gotta believe me.
33:35I love you.
33:36I really love you.
33:38Where are you from?
33:39Oh, I just didn't know how to get close to you.
33:40Please give me another chance.
33:41Maybe we can go on a real date, a dinner, and a movie.
33:45You had your dinner.
33:47Time for dessert.
33:48As it sounds like she's crying.
33:51Well, be her spirit.
33:55Heal her heart.
33:56Feel the power of her wings as she's flying.
34:00Breathing life.
34:02Creation has a right.
34:04The miracle in motion will turn to survive.
34:09Mother Earth's calling.
34:14Talk to her.
34:16Walk with her.
34:19Mother Earth's calling.
34:23Talk to her.
34:26Walk with her.
34:28I walk through the golden valley.
34:42The wind of the sight will be my guide.
34:47This just in.
35:04We have a last minute entry from med students Elaine Turnbull and Rochelle Hornsby.
35:09Come on.
35:10Do you like to eat?
35:11Come on.
35:12Do you like to eat?
35:14Come on.
35:15I want you to eat.
35:17Eat them now.
35:19Good dog.
35:20Keep eating.
35:24Come on, doggy.
35:25Good boy.
35:27Good boy.
35:30You see, nurse Hatcher, they exploit men in these contests, too.
35:35Well, I guess they're all right, then.
35:38As long as they're equal opportunity exploiters.
35:43All right, let's go.
35:45Heal.
35:46Heal.
35:46Heal.
35:48I'm on first.
35:49Woo.
35:54Heal.
36:02Good boy.
36:03Good boy.
36:04Good boy.
36:05Good boy.
36:05And the panel of interns has declared entry number four, Mike Jones,
36:09to be the top 10 subject of the evening.
36:12Mike will be awarded a free vasectomy at the clinic of his choice.
36:16Keep up the good work, Mike.
36:18I warned Raquel.
36:19As she keeps letting her IQ be overruled by her G-spot,
36:23she's gonna end up getting effed up the AA without any KY.
36:28I bet you were really good in algebra, huh?
36:42Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!
36:52Bad doggy, bad doggy.
36:55You should do that.
36:57You should do well.
36:59Woof! Woof! Woof!
37:05Nice doggy.
37:07Good doggy.
37:08Heel! Heel!
37:12Woof!
37:13Woof! Woof!
37:14Woof!
37:15Woof!
37:39Fight it low!
37:40Have been heard
37:42All across the land
37:45What time has come
37:48What need is done
37:49We have to take a stand
37:52We pledge allegiance to all the stars
37:57And wicked alibi
37:59If you lie and we stand
38:03Divide and billfold
38:05Reach the end of the world
38:08You've got to reach out
38:10And ride some money
38:12Don't let them stand in your way
38:15Reach out
38:18And ride some money
38:20If you're right
38:21Just play with me
38:23Say
38:24Oh
38:26Oh
38:30Oh
38:31Little D
38:33The way for me
38:35The only laugh I do
38:38But there are those
38:41Who don't agree
38:42With the ways
38:44Of rock and soul
38:45I'm a gorgeous girl next door
38:49If I could I'd show you more
38:53If way my heart is what you love
38:56I'll take you
38:59So how are the donuts
39:02I'm Lester
39:07Lester Shank
39:08I'm Wendy
39:10So Wendy
39:22What type of medicine
39:24Are you studying here at Quacks
39:25Proctology
39:27Really?
39:29Do you have a problem with that
39:30Mr. Shank?
39:31No, no
39:32Not at all
39:33I bet that's a field
39:34That's really
39:35Wide open
39:36Before I become subjected
39:39To a rectal litany
39:40From your lips
39:41Of summer camp
39:42Cocka
39:42Thinly disguised
39:43As highbrow
39:44Anal humor
39:45Let me say this
39:46Right from the outset
39:48Proctologists
39:49Are sick and tired
39:50Of being the butts
39:51Of these type of jokes
39:52And we intend
39:53To raise our level
39:54Of respect
39:55Above the lid
39:56Of the toilet seat
39:57And into the realm
39:58Of respect
39:58That our training
39:59Deserves
40:00So let me warn you
40:02If so much
40:03Is the slightest
40:03Turd speck
40:04Of innuendo
40:05The slightest sliver
40:07Of defectatious derision
40:09Or malodorous metaphor
40:10Spews from your lips
40:12So help me
40:13I will take this cucumber
40:15And ram it so far
40:16Into the realm
40:17Where the sun
40:17Doesn't shine
40:18You'll think
40:19You're experiencing
40:20An eclipse of the moon
40:21No
40:24You are definitely
40:26A type of person
40:27That likes to cover
40:28All aspects
40:29Of a situation
40:30Aren't you
40:31Bent over
40:32Anita Cox
40:34Of the gynecology department
40:35Please scrub up
40:36And report to the
40:37Sturb room
40:37For an adjustable briefing
40:39Anita Cox
40:39To the sturb room
40:40Immediately
40:41Spurs optional
40:42Let's party
40:44Bikini
40:46Beach party
40:47Let's party
40:52Bikini
41:12Bikini
41:16Beach party
41:17Bikini
41:20Bikini
41:22Bikini
41:24Beach party
41:26Don't you just love
41:38Her outfit
41:38It's nothing
41:40Compared to what
41:40I've got on
41:41Are you in the contest
41:43Too?
41:44Contestant number
41:45Two to be exact
41:46I can't wait
41:48To see what
41:48You've got on
41:49Underneath that
41:50Yeah
41:51Well why don't
41:52You just take me
41:53To that tunnel
41:54Of love
41:54You guys keep here
41:55And I'll give you
41:56A preview
41:57Of the
41:57Coming attractions
41:59I'm sure you won't
42:00I'm sure you won't
42:00Believe your eyes
42:02When I dance
42:04To win the prize
42:06Won't you come
42:08And play with me
42:10I'm gonna be
42:12Your fantasy
42:14Let's party
42:17Let's party
42:18Let's party
42:19Bikini
42:21Beach party
42:23Let's party
42:27Two to three
42:36Two
42:36Two three
42:37On the dance floor
42:40On the dance floor
42:42On the dance floor
42:46On the dance floor
42:48On the dance floor
42:50I'm not worried about the deadlines
42:57I'm not gonna lose any sleep
43:01And I'm not a thief or a maniac of some kind
43:08Look at all the good times
43:10Never enough time
43:12On the dance floor
43:12I'm not getting a little behind
43:15On the dance floor
43:17Now here's the break
43:31Warning, warning
43:35You are too close to the guitar
43:36Please step away from the guitar
43:40Thank you, Anita
43:55Your lab results are 989
43:59Please report to Dr. Gozina's office for a second opinion
44:02I wish they'd hurry up right there
44:07Jeez, they've been hogging that room for a good 10 minutes now
44:18Well, not everyone blows their cookies in the first two minutes like you, Ron
44:31Hey, I last longer than that
44:34Ron, you're the only guy that I know that could have sex during commercials and not miss any of the regular program
44:39Well, there you two are
44:41I'm glad to see you both patched up your differences
44:44Well, we still have a few to iron out
44:46Maybe we can do it during the next commercial
44:48It doesn't last over 30 seconds in length
44:50Hmm, maybe I picked a bad time
44:53But Ron, I wanted to ask you a few questions about your breast fetish
44:58Who says I got a breast fetish?
45:01Well, we were officially broken up at the time
45:03Oh, Jesus
45:04What else you're spreading around about, Gina?
45:07That premature ejaculator?
45:08Did you tell her that too, huh?
45:10Ron, Gina spoke very highly of your sexual prowess
45:13She did?
45:15Oh, yeah
45:16And she went on and on to say what a dynamo you were in between the sheets
45:20I did?
45:22You were a bit drunk at the time, honey
45:25But you know how liquor has a way of squeezing the truth out of us, doesn't it?
45:30Oh, yeah
45:32Yeah, of course
45:34So what were those questions you wanted to ask me?
45:36It's about your preoccupation with women's breasts
45:39Wendy Waltzman of the Proctology Department
45:43Please scrub up thoroughly and report to the examination room for an in-depth probe
45:47Wendy Waltzman to the examination room, stat
45:52Stand advised, the panel of interns has stricken Wendy Waltzman from the list of participants
46:00Would clitorologist Alicia Laws please report to the lab?
46:05I'm gonna make you love me
46:09So work out what to do
46:12Gonna make you love me
46:17Hey, I think the second lingerie contestant's on now
46:33Wait, Ron, I have a few questions about your toilet training
46:37Can make you love me
46:39Oh, yes!
46:45Mommy to the finish, Lester!
46:47Oh!
46:47Thank you, Alicia, for stepping in on last-minute notice
47:09Your test results are 10, 9, 10
47:13Excellent results, Alicia
47:14Now you may return to the clitorology lab to continue your important research
47:19So what do you think of Ron?
47:25He's an infantile, anal-retentive, manic-depressive
47:28With an inferiority complex stemming from a suppressed Oedipus complex
47:32He's been harboring ever since his mother improperly toilet-trained him
47:35Besides that, he's okay
47:38You two aren't gonna get back together, are you?
47:41I think I'll stick to my vibrator
47:43Good choice
47:44So what field of medicine did you say you're in?
47:55Internal organs specializing in kidneys and spleens
47:58Well, that was some mighty fine organ work you were doing on me a few minutes ago, Lester
48:03Thanks, ma'am
48:04I mean, after all, that's what I'm here for
48:06Well, you've been blessed with quite an extended operating tool there
48:10For a minute, I thought you were repositioning my spleen
48:14Oh, I'm sorry
48:16That's all right, Lester
48:17I brought this along just in case I had to give you a taste of your own medicine
48:23Dr. Eva Clitor, please report to ICU
48:29Your patient is in position for radical invasive surgery
48:32Eva Clitor, please report to the intensive care unit immediately
48:40Gina, why aren't you in the lingerie contest?
49:01I left all my lingerie at Ron's apartment, and I haven't been over there since we broke up
49:06No telling what he's using it for now
49:10God
49:11God
49:13My life, although we've got it's just a ladder of time
49:20One, two, two
49:26Now, it's dark in the dark
49:32Cause I'm soft to the touch
49:37My clan and their...
49:41Are you guys waiting in line for the Tunnel of Love?
49:43No, we've already been.
49:59Oh, it looks like you're just in time for the tunnel's grand opening.
50:03Yeah, we're lucky.
50:05Sometimes the tunnel is very busy,
50:08so it's like waiting to get stamps in the parcel.
50:11I didn't know you were a full-adalist.
50:31Working a little bow-legged there, Lester, aren't you?
50:35Bad case of rights.
50:37Yeah, I think so.
50:39Which Chandra-A contestant's on now?
50:41Number three.
50:42Dammit, Lester, see what you made me do?
50:44Now I've missed my chance at the prize.
50:47Wendy, I wasn't the one that wanted to make the Caesar salad.
50:49It's a good day.
50:52I was just thinking we could have another go-round at the Tunnel of Love.
51:10Oh, I'd love to.
51:12But Armand and I have a previous engagement.
51:15Now, I can't stand him up.
51:16That would be very poor bedroom etiquette, don't you think?
51:20Well, hmm.
51:21I've got no idea.
51:25Hey, no fair-telling secrets.
51:28Oh, I'm sure, Lester, we'd go for that.
51:31Go for what?
51:33A little game.
51:35How about it, love?
51:36What do you say we do a little roll reversal in the bedroom?
51:41Hmm?
51:41Hmm?
51:42Yeah.
51:42Depends on the roll.
51:43Hmm.
51:44Hmm.
51:44Hmm.
51:44Hmm.
51:44Hmm.
51:45Come in.
51:53Good day, Rhonda.
51:54I'm Sally Landers, the Down Under Bush doctor.
51:58And this is my head nurse, Armandina.
52:01At your service, Rhonda, we're here to help you.
52:05What seems to be the problem, dear?
52:08Where do you help?
52:09Right here.
52:12Oh.
52:15Hmm.
52:17Well, let's just see if we can pinpoint the problem.
52:23Oh, no.
52:24What is it, Bush doctor Sally?
52:27Oh.
52:28I'm afraid we're going to have to give the patient a thorough examination.
52:33What do you think, head nurse Armandina?
52:35Yes, absolutely.
52:36I think we should rush the patient to the intensive care right away.
52:42Undress the patient and prepare for the operation.
52:45Yes, sir.
52:48I mean, ma'am.
52:50It's Ms. to you, head nurse Armandina.
52:54Oh.
52:55Oh.
52:55Yes, uh.
52:56Kimo Sally.
52:58Oh, I mean, uh, Bush doctor-ness.
53:01Oh, forgive me.
53:03Please forgive me.
53:05It was a pure sleep of my time.
53:06Oh, your punishment will come later.
53:11Oh, God.
53:12There's nothing to mix us with.
53:14Oh, that's why I always bring Spud.
53:17Spud?
53:19Spud.
53:21Have to leave home without it.
53:23Oh, Spud.
53:24Thank you, Eva.
53:29The board of interns has given you a 10-10-10.
53:33Perfect showing, Eva.
53:34As a top researcher tonight, you will be awarded a silver-plated set of commemorative Benoit balls,
53:41which carry the Quack Student Body Seal of Approval.
53:43Happy rolling, Eva.
53:59I'll take it fast.
54:01I'll take it slow.
54:03We'll make it loud.
54:05And I need to know if I do for you,
54:09what you do for me.
54:12Why me up and take me down
54:17All my feet still on the ground
54:21I'm in love, love, love
54:24And I'm all sugar
54:26I'm in love and so much
54:32Every time we touch
54:35Day or night or night or day
54:40I can't get enough
54:42Because I'm long, long, long, long, long
54:46Let me be your only one, baby
54:50I'm long, long, long, long
54:53Let me show you how it's done
54:57I'm long, long, long
55:01But when it's right
55:04Can't go wrong
55:06And I knew it all alone
55:10And from the very start
55:12You had a hold on me
55:15You're so good when you're so bad
55:20You show me better love than ever had
55:25Can't help myself
55:27Can't help myself
55:27Whenever I'm with you
55:29I'll lay it on the line
55:35I want you all the time
55:38All I do is speak of you
55:43Can't get you on my mind
55:46And I'm long, long, long, long, long
55:49Let me be your only one, baby
55:54I'm long, long, long
55:56Let me show you how it's done
56:00I'm long, long, long
56:03Let me show you how it's done