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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
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00:05:29Horses are an excellent judge of character.
00:05:32Surely you can't judge a man by that.
00:05:36At any rate, I've never really connected with the people here.
00:05:41If there's any way to save this place, it's with new blood.
00:05:45Alistair Covington breed is hardly new blood.
00:05:48Perhaps you'll surprise us.
00:05:51At any rate, I've made up my mind.
00:05:54Please begin putting my affairs in order.
00:05:58As you wish, Your Grace.
00:05:59Marriage?
00:06:28Marriage.
00:06:29You're said to me.
00:06:30Look at me.
00:06:59your grace i'm not quite sure how to say this but prepare to be surprised isn't quite the word
00:07:11what is the word gobsmacked you won't believe what i found
00:07:17you know what you did all right everybody we know what night it is it's karaoke night
00:07:27and first up coming to the stage we got johnny payne oh really no come on
00:07:35hey all right thanks steve oh back at home
00:07:45and now for the moment absolutely nobody has been waiting
00:07:57you ready for this
00:07:58get your motor running head out on the highway
00:08:12looking for adventure and whatever comes your way
00:08:19yeah darling gonna make it happen take the world in a love embrace
00:08:27fire all that you got at once and explode into space
00:08:33like a true nature's child we were both born to be wild gonna fly so high never gonna die
00:08:45born to be wild yeah come on born to be wild
00:08:59hello hey your landlord said i might find you here well here i am prudence thorpe
00:09:11johnny payne your hair is quite tall thanks i grew myself
00:09:23you're not a process server are you because i returned those library books
00:09:28i'm advisor to william duke of classic
00:09:31oh well that's a new one he's requesting your presence at classic castle south of york
00:09:39york england great well you know what tell him i'll be there right after i meet with
00:09:44the king of hearts and mr potato head
00:09:46just one second all right everybody next up we got melanie can i call you back
00:09:54yeah i love you too okay yeah yeah i'll call you back
00:09:58time is of the essence here
00:10:01wow you're really taking this all the way aren't you i assure you i'm quite serious
00:10:09yes you are so why would this duke of wherever want to see me is there is there somewhere a little
00:10:18more private we can talk yeah i think the music was a little too loud but i could have sworn
00:10:26i heard you say something crazy like a duke wanted to see me indeed it uh seems you are next
00:10:33in line to succeed him what the uh the duke he's your father
00:10:50no thanks that's uh that's that's all you have to say you can ask my father whoever he is
00:10:58where's he been the last 38 years of my life and you can tell him some other things too don't bother
00:11:04he can't commit oh he'll wait for you to break up with him and fix your car on the way out
00:11:16it's so you you shan't be coming then i shan't not
00:11:22so it's rather disappointing i was hoping that perhaps
00:11:28never mind i will inform the duke good day
00:11:40you forgot this
00:11:52hey ma
00:11:57doll face hey
00:12:03what's wrong you wouldn't believe this
00:12:09some snoot with an english accent walked into steve's apparently good old dad wants to meet me
00:12:18or rather i'm being summoned oh dear
00:12:23i guess we
00:12:25never really talked about him i tried
00:12:29yeah
00:12:31just didn't want to hear about some clown who ran out on us
00:12:34it wasn't quite like that not not really
00:12:37sit down
00:12:45he was on holiday and i was singing at a piano bar downtown
00:12:52and he came in every night for a week
00:12:56but you got married after a week three
00:13:04we eloped
00:13:05we were young and foolish
00:13:12i knew he was from some stuffy family but he said he wanted to get away from all that
00:13:16apparently not they pressed him to return
00:13:19and he did he chose them so i annulled it found out i was pregnant and i sent him a letter to let him know
00:13:32i never heard back
00:13:37i decided right then and there that it was going to be you and me
00:13:41you know
00:13:48you were the best two parents any kid could ask for
00:13:58meet him
00:14:00go there
00:14:03why
00:14:04see this part of yourself even if it's a small part
00:14:11yeah maybe i will
00:14:20just so i could look him in the eye and tell him that we turned out just fine without him
00:14:28check this out
00:14:35first class ticket
00:14:37what
00:14:41first time in our village
00:14:57first time out of the states
00:14:59and what business have you got at the castle
00:15:02i'm seeing the duke the old crust
00:15:04sure you are and what are you going to say to him
00:15:10hi dad
00:15:15oh that is a good one mate
00:15:17hi dad
00:15:17there's my castle
00:15:29best grog in town
00:15:31i might need a grog or two after this
00:15:34good afternoon
00:15:36prudence
00:15:37delightful to see you again
00:15:39yeah
00:15:41you also
00:15:42how good to be back in the duchy again
00:15:45oh i trust you're finding your rooms to be adequate
00:15:48mine's a bit small
00:15:49i prefer the east wing where i usually stay
00:15:53that's closed off now lady eleanor
00:15:55alistair
00:15:56that should be remedied
00:15:58of course mother
00:16:00and i'm hoping when the time comes that prudence will stay on as my
00:16:05advisor
00:16:05yes
00:16:31holy guacamole
00:16:33she's a beaut isn't she
00:16:35she used to be worth something once
00:16:37not anymore
00:16:39i hear there's more debts than rooms in this place
00:16:42you want me to wait
00:16:44it won't be long before they boot you out
00:16:47it's okay
00:16:48give my regards to the old crust
00:16:51will do
00:16:57welcome back
00:16:58cousin alistair
00:17:01your grace
00:17:03lady eleanor
00:17:04your grace
00:17:05thank you for coming at such short notice
00:17:08i trust you'll stay on for the ball the weekend
00:17:12we wouldn't miss it for all the tea in china
00:17:14as prudence has explained
00:17:19i've decided to start the process of
00:17:23handing over my duties
00:17:25and passing on the duchy to its rightful heir
00:17:28yes
00:17:29who as i'm sure you know
00:17:31who is
00:17:43ma
00:17:43yeah
00:17:44i made it
00:17:45good lord
00:17:46what is that
00:17:48it's a
00:17:51castle
00:17:51that is the next duke of classic
00:17:54what
00:18:12how you doing
00:18:14i'm johnny
00:18:16good afternoon sir
00:18:17may i take your luggage sir
00:18:29oh it's good i'll hang on to it thank you
00:18:32i assure you
00:18:33i'll guard it with my life
00:18:39thank you jeffers
00:18:41as you might imagine we weren't expecting you
00:18:44well you invited me
00:18:46and here you are
00:18:48where is he
00:18:49his grace will be with you shortly
00:18:51perhaps you'd like to change
00:18:53into someone else
00:18:54we do have a dress code so
00:18:56our uh our footman can bring you a jacket and tie
00:18:58well then i wouldn't look like me
00:19:00so you shan't be changing clothes then
00:19:02i shan't not
00:19:06please don't touch anything
00:19:10well maybe i'll just uh
00:19:13have a look around
00:19:15well we can't have you just
00:19:17wandering about getting lost
00:19:19follow me
00:19:23classic castle has three wings
00:19:26uh 67 rooms
00:19:27a library drawing room sitting room
00:19:31dining room and lesser dining room
00:19:37this is the grand ballroom
00:19:39you're throwing a party
00:19:43the classic ball
00:19:44it's a time-honored tradition
00:19:46nothing has changed in three centuries
00:19:49not even the guest list
00:19:51thank you annie
00:19:52he is cute
00:20:02no touching thank you
00:20:04it was just
00:20:04it was loose
00:20:06this place is bananas
00:20:18gargoyles are a nice touch
00:20:20the duke will be with you shortly
00:20:22it's a good looking guy
00:20:31smile for my mom here
00:20:37so uh
00:20:38you in a relationship
00:20:43i beg your pardon
00:20:44no no you don't have to say anything
00:20:45i'm good at this
00:20:46he's a fine stock with a name like
00:20:49nigel or basil and when he's not on the polo field or out yachting about he's
00:20:55driving his
00:20:57jaguar
00:20:59am i right
00:21:03wait here
00:21:05please don't touch anything
00:21:08i won't touch anything
00:21:25oh god
00:21:37i'll get you now
00:21:42no
00:21:51sorry
00:21:55well
00:22:08hi
00:22:13jonathan is it
00:22:15johnny
00:22:19and what do i call you
00:22:20your grace is customary
00:22:22or if you prefer
00:22:25william charles
00:22:26edward henry duke of classic
00:22:28it just
00:22:29rolls off the tongue doesn't it
00:22:39shall we
00:22:40yeah yeah
00:22:49i i hear you're in the automobile industry
00:22:56i'm a mechanic
00:22:58i suppose the world needs mechanics
00:23:02yeah probably more than dukes
00:23:03well
00:23:05title presents its own challenges
00:23:09as you'll undoubtedly see
00:23:11oh no no i'm i'm not
00:23:12i'm not here for the title
00:23:15well you should know that the title is attached to the land
00:23:19and the land can't be sold
00:23:22so if it's money you're after i'm afraid to come for naught
00:23:26that's why you think i'm here
00:23:30for money
00:23:31i'd be in a mess if it didn't cross my mind
00:23:34i don't want your money
00:23:38i don't want anything from you
00:23:41i just wanted to come here and look at you face to face and ask you why you left
00:23:47but now having met you i don't think i care anymore
00:23:52well
00:23:52that's that i suppose
00:23:58that's that
00:23:58does she still sing
00:24:10what
00:24:12your mother
00:24:14she was quite talented
00:24:16she gave it up
00:24:16to raise me
00:24:39snobby
00:24:41judgmental
00:24:42condescending
00:24:43arrogant
00:24:43self-centered
00:24:44cold fish
00:24:49i uh
00:24:49i take it it didn't go well
00:24:52i can't believe i'm related to that guy
00:24:55he'll warm up over time
00:24:57well too bad i won't be here to see it
00:25:04so that's it
00:25:05you come all this way so just turn around and leave
00:25:08i've seen enough
00:25:10you haven't seen anything
00:25:11i think we're done here
00:25:14the future title of the duchies at stake here
00:25:17your title
00:25:18well thanks for thinking of me
00:25:20but no thanks
00:25:21you can't just decline a dukeship
00:25:24you have to inherit it first then decline within a year
00:25:28thank you
00:25:31where are you going
00:25:32the pickle pickle
00:25:35the pickle pickle
00:25:36you cannot stay at a pub
00:25:38why not
00:25:40you're the duke's son
00:25:42which makes you a lord
00:25:44and heir
00:25:46well
00:25:47maybe i'll just stay at an air b&b
00:25:50you may be
00:26:00you may be the most irritating madding person i've ever met
00:26:03same
00:26:04jaguar
00:26:10i knew it
00:26:19can you imagine someone like that in a place like this
00:26:23and there's a reason they're called commoners
00:26:31this blood's purer than yours
00:26:44you're beautiful
00:26:58you're beautiful
00:27:00you need a bath
00:27:02you
00:27:03you
00:27:03i
00:27:07and
00:27:08you
00:27:08and
00:27:09you
00:27:13you
00:27:18and
00:27:18There he is, you son of a duke.
00:27:39That didn't last long.
00:27:41Right, lads, pay up.
00:27:44I told them you'd be booted out within the hour.
00:27:46Word travels fast around here, huh?
00:27:49Well, my girlfriend Danny works at the castle.
00:27:52So, did the old cross give you the royal small talk?
00:27:56The royal what?
00:27:57It's what they do when they've nothing else to say.
00:28:00How are you finding our fair village?
00:28:02I'm finding your fair village quite lovely,
00:28:05except for the occasional idiot.
00:28:07Oh, how desperate.
00:28:09It's like I'm at the castle.
00:28:16Have you seen a loud American with tall hair?
00:28:27Johnny, he's over there.
00:28:30Ah, this jukebox hasn't worked in years.
00:28:32Just needs a little love, Hugh, that's all.
00:28:35Get ready for a little music.
00:28:36I'd like a word, please.
00:28:41Yeah, okay.
00:28:48Thanks, Augie.
00:28:50Ice water, please.
00:28:52We are what we drink.
00:28:55I'll get right down to it.
00:28:57The duke's visit with you was uncomfortable and a bit shocking.
00:29:01I was there.
00:29:02He's instructed me to ask you to stay through the week and show you round.
00:29:06At week's end, you'll attend the ball.
00:29:08The ball?
00:29:12Why?
00:29:13Your history's here.
00:29:15Also, he'd like to get to know you.
00:29:18He would have told you himself, but he isn't terribly good with...
00:29:21Humans?
00:29:23Emotions.
00:29:24But I assure you, he does have them.
00:29:32How about you?
00:29:33Hmm?
00:29:34You want me to stay?
00:29:35Oh, I have, uh, no opinion on the matter.
00:29:39Simply following his wishes.
00:29:41I'll pass.
00:29:43You can't pass on a personal request from the duke.
00:29:47Wait, is he going to have me beheaded?
00:29:49Beheading was outlawed in the 16th century.
00:29:51Is he aware of that?
00:29:52Yeah, I assume with the amount of time you appear to spend in establishments like this, you are somewhat proficient at darts?
00:30:04Three-time reigning champion at Steve's bar.
00:30:06Not to brag.
00:30:08A wager, then.
00:30:09You win, you can leave.
00:30:11I win, you stay.
00:30:17Okay.
00:30:20But if I win, you get up in front of all these people and you sing the karaoke song of my choice.
00:30:26You're hiring, Augie.
00:30:53You're hiring, you've got a guy, and you've got the guy.
00:30:59You first.
00:31:01Okay.
00:31:02Okay.
00:31:03Interesting.
00:31:04Bye.
00:31:09Ooh.
00:31:15Ooh.
00:31:19Don't count it, y'all.
00:31:20Oh.
00:31:29Okay.
00:31:44Oh.
00:31:45Oh.
00:31:46Oh, Jesus.
00:31:47Oh, Jesus.
00:31:48Oh, Jesus.
00:31:49Oh, Jesus.
00:31:50Well, Jesus.
00:31:50Yes.
00:31:50Oh! Very smooth!
00:31:54I've never seen anything like it!
00:31:58Undefeated champion of women's and tri-counties.
00:32:02Jeffers will bring your things to the castle.
00:32:14Well, that was, uh, unexpected.
00:32:20Where's everyone?
00:32:24In bed. It's past nine.
00:32:28Ooh, nine.
00:32:30Well, I hope I'm not keeping you up.
00:32:32I've had your things moved to the blue room.
00:32:34Blue? No. Blue's not really my color.
00:32:46Maybe blue is my color.
00:32:50No gargoyles?
00:32:52No. We had them removed.
00:32:56Did somebody iron my clothes?
00:32:58Be glad you weren't in them at the time.
00:33:02Good night.
00:33:04Good night.
00:33:06Good night.
00:33:08Good night.
00:33:12Woo!
00:33:14Whoo!
00:33:32Snooping, are we?
00:33:38It's called research.
00:33:40So, is he Duke material?
00:33:46Well, he says all the wrong things. He does all the wrong things.
00:33:49So, you like him?
00:33:54He reminds me of the boys we knew when we were kids.
00:33:58Yeah. Running around the village.
00:34:01Oh, having fun.
00:34:03Being a part of things.
00:34:08I miss the old brew.
00:34:10I kind of miss her, too.
00:34:16Take it.
00:34:17Yes! Perfect. Thank you, Annie.
00:34:28Come in!
00:34:34Hey, this old-school record player thing, it wasn't working.
00:34:36Oh, it's an antique phonograph. It's just for show.
00:34:40Just for show.
00:34:42I have the music.
00:34:43I have bought today's itinerary.
00:34:43Okay.
00:34:44Tour of the grounds.
00:34:46Hedge gardens.
00:34:47Royal plaque.
00:34:48Oh, leisure time.
00:34:49Oh, leisure time. One hour. Exciting.
00:34:53Supper. Lesser dining room.
00:34:56And, uh, wardrobe changes are noted in red. Jeffers will bring you a selection of appropriate attire.
00:35:03Okay.
00:35:04Okay.
00:35:05Okay.
00:35:06Wait.
00:35:07Right.
00:35:08Wait.
00:35:09All right.
00:35:10All right.
00:35:11All right.
00:35:12I'll have the driver bring the car around.
00:35:14Why don't we do the grounds tour on those?
00:35:18Oh, those are bicycles. There is a four.
00:35:19Fun?
00:35:20Well, yes. But fun is, uh...
00:35:25I'll have the driver bring the car around
00:35:34Why don't we do the grounds tour on those?
00:35:40Oh, those are bicycles
00:35:42There is a four
00:35:44Fun?
00:35:45Well, yes, but fun is not on the schedule
00:35:49It is today
00:35:52All right
00:35:55This all belongs to the Duchy
00:36:0217,000 acres, mostly farmland
00:36:05We have our own chapel and cemetery
00:36:09You never have to leave
00:36:12The Duke's father, your grandfather
00:36:16Squandered what was left to the family money
00:36:18Left him with a mountain of debt
00:36:20He hasn't been able to turn things around, I'm afraid
00:36:23I have to make a quick stop
00:36:29This is one of the estate's oldest farms
00:36:37Morning
00:36:39Morning, Vinci
00:36:41For your new grandson
00:36:43Thank you, Miss Prudence
00:36:45This is Johnny
00:36:47Ah, you must be the Duke's boy
00:36:49My lord
00:36:50No, no, no, please
00:36:52Just, just Johnny
00:36:53Finci
00:36:55How are you getting on with the old crust?
00:36:58Oh, apologies
00:36:59He's been called worse
00:37:00Are those beets?
00:37:03You want to buy them?
00:37:03Because no one else is
00:37:04What's wrong with them?
00:37:05No, market's gone soft
00:37:07We'll probably just plough them back under
00:37:10Oh, excuse me
00:37:12Any other vegetables in here?
00:37:15Hello
00:37:15When's the last time you used this?
00:37:20Could be a decade ago now
00:37:22Used to be an apple orchard on the grounds
00:37:25But we had a blight
00:37:27It's been years since the old crust has been out here
00:37:30I'll say one thing about him, though
00:37:33He's a right good landlord
00:37:36Landlord?
00:37:37Most of us locals have been tenants on the classic land for years
00:37:40His grace doesn't charge us a penny
00:37:42Never has
00:37:44Really?
00:37:47Aye
00:37:47During the Great Northern War
00:37:50The First Duke defended the realm here
00:37:53The classic ball was held that very evening
00:37:56And every year since
00:37:57Prudence
00:37:58I'd hope that was you
00:38:00Alistair
00:38:01Still lingering, I see
00:38:02The Duke has asked to stay on for the ball
00:38:04And leaving after, I assume
00:38:06Yeah, appetizer
00:38:08Glass of punch
00:38:08And I'm gone
00:38:09Well then
00:38:10I suppose we should be properly introduced
00:38:13Alistair Covington Breed
00:38:15Of Windshare, north of Devon
00:38:16Johnny Payne
00:38:18South Philly
00:38:19Easter patch cheesesteak
00:38:20How amusing
00:38:21Join me for a bout, won't you?
00:38:24I'm sure Mr. Philadelphia here can amuse himself
00:38:26Yes, I'm afraid I can't leave our guest unattended
00:38:30Yeah, my usual babysitter's unavailable
00:38:32Well, you and I will have plenty of time to parry
00:38:36And counter-parry
00:38:37So
00:38:38Fencing terminology
00:38:40Cheerio
00:38:44Cheerio
00:38:47Dare I ask?
00:38:51He's your second cousin, twice removed
00:38:54Can he be totally removed?
00:38:55He's next in line, after you
00:39:00Come on, let's go for a walk
00:39:04I'll show you the back acreage
00:39:05Okay
00:39:06On guard!
00:39:09When I found out the Duke had a son
00:39:11I thought
00:39:12Someone different
00:39:14Don't bow out
00:39:17What?
00:39:18The title
00:39:20At least consider it
00:39:21So
00:39:25I'm the lesser of two evils
00:39:28Well, I would have worded it differently
00:39:32Well, I appreciate your support, but
00:39:33I got a life back home
00:39:36And as you can see, I don't exactly fit in here
00:39:40I'm just worried about what Alistair would do
00:39:44Well, maybe he's not as bad as you think
00:39:49He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth
00:39:55Never worked a day in his life
00:39:57Says the lovely lady who lives in a chasm
00:40:00I live in a castle because my parents were in service there
00:40:06Mum worked in the kitchen, dad was head footman
00:40:10But both died in a car crash when I was eight
00:40:14I'm sorry
00:40:16Duke took me in
00:40:18Sent me to fancy schools
00:40:21Oxford for uni
00:40:22Took care of me
00:40:25Like a dad?
00:40:29I suppose so
00:40:30First I just wanted to fit in
00:40:35Then over time I
00:40:36I suppose I just became this other person
00:40:40It was easier to have people look up to me
00:40:43Than down on me
00:40:45Why didn't they just look at you?
00:40:47Well, it's not like that here
00:40:48I'm looking at you
00:40:50Not up at you
00:40:53Not down on you
00:40:54Just
00:40:55Just at you
00:40:56The hedgerows were originally planted by the fourth duchess
00:41:08Our guests for the weekend
00:41:21Lord and Lady Quince
00:41:23Along with Lady Cordelia
00:41:25And her husband Archibald
00:41:26May I present
00:41:28Johnny Payne
00:41:29Nice to meet you all
00:41:31We look forward to getting to know you
00:41:33You say that now?
00:41:36I have a brilliant idea
00:41:38An afternoon ride
00:41:40Before tonight's dinner
00:41:41How about it, cousin?
00:41:44A little trot in the field?
00:41:45Perhaps another time
00:41:47Ah, could it be the next Duke doesn't ride?
00:41:51Well, it is a rugged sport
00:41:55Perhaps something a little more genteel
00:41:58Croquet
00:41:59Or a light game of badminton
00:42:02Let's do the horse thing
00:42:08The horse thing
00:42:10Excellent
00:42:13Prudence, I trust you will join us as well?
00:42:18Of course
00:42:18Well, come along
00:42:20Nice to meet you
00:42:26Nice to meet you
00:42:27No, you
00:42:30You don't have to do this
00:42:31I kind of think I do
00:42:34All right
00:42:36Follow me
00:42:38Oh, wow
00:42:41Hi there
00:42:43This is Triscuit
00:42:45Beautiful, isn't he?
00:42:47Hey Triscuit, go easy on me, okay?
00:42:50Oh, you won't be riding him
00:42:52Alistair will be riding Triscuit
00:42:56This is your horse
00:42:59Her name is Cream Puff
00:43:03She's our gentlest
00:43:05And quite good with children
00:43:08Cream Puff
00:43:10Great
00:43:14There he is
00:43:17And what is your little horse's name?
00:43:22Rambo
00:43:23Sometimes she goes by Cream Puff
00:43:27Shall we?
00:43:30Come on, boy, come on
00:43:31Come on
00:43:31Here we go, Triscuit
00:43:33Let's go, boys
00:43:34Not bad
00:44:02Indeed
00:44:03You haven't completely embarrassed yourself
00:44:06Well, I try
00:44:08Well
00:44:09Let's up the ante
00:44:11And have ourselves a little fun, shall we?
00:44:13Come on, Triscuit
00:44:14Come on, boy
00:44:15Yes, good, good
00:44:36Thank you
00:44:38Now let's really go for it, old chap
00:44:40Come on
00:44:43Come on, boy
00:44:43Come on
00:44:44Come on
00:44:49Whoa
00:44:50Whoa
00:44:51Let's go
00:44:52Whoa
00:44:52What are you doing, Triscuit?
00:44:55Whoa, whoa, stop, boy
00:44:58Whoa, whoa, stop, boy
00:44:59Look out
00:45:00Look out
00:45:01Look out
00:45:02Ah
00:45:03Ah
00:45:03Ah
00:45:04Ah
00:45:05Ah
00:45:06Ah
00:45:07Well done, jolly old chap
00:45:09Ah
00:45:10Ah
00:45:11Ah
00:45:12Ah
00:45:13Alistair, where are you going?
00:45:14I'm walking back, thank you very much
00:45:16Ah
00:45:17Ah
00:45:18How'd you pull that off
00:45:19How'd you pull that off?
00:45:21Mechanical bull riding champ
00:45:23Steve's bar and grill
00:45:25Undefeated
00:45:26Heh
00:45:27I call this my power blend
00:45:32Mmm
00:45:33All right
00:45:34All right
00:45:35Mm-hmm
00:45:36All right, moment of truth
00:45:37Cheers
00:45:38Cheers
00:45:39Cheers
00:45:40Mmm
00:45:41Delish, and I don't even like beets
00:45:45It helps blood flow, improves stamina
00:45:48Right
00:45:49And, most importantly, cures hangovers
00:45:52Oh, well, you should make some for the pulpit
00:45:54That's a good idea
00:45:55Oh, hello, you big idiot
00:45:56Hello
00:45:57Try
00:45:58Mmm
00:45:59What's going on in here?
00:46:00Introducing the benefits of healthy juicing
00:46:02Hmm
00:46:03There was a gap in my itinerary
00:46:05Okay, back to work everybody
00:46:08Oh, come on you, save some for the lady
00:46:10Come on
00:46:11Mmm
00:46:12Perhaps later, but first things first
00:46:19We need to go over the details for tonight
00:46:22We'll, uh, we'll convene in the grand room at quarter past six
00:46:25Upon the duke's arrival, we'll enter the lesser dining room
00:46:28No one sits till the duke sits
00:46:31Once seated, no one eats till the duke eats
00:46:34Once the duke has taken his last bite, we will also stop eating
00:46:38What if I'm still hungry?
00:46:39I don't believe you'll be wanting any more
00:46:42We're serving jellied eel
00:46:44And people like that?
00:46:46Generally, not
00:46:54Down the hatch
00:46:55Okay
00:47:01That is rather good
00:47:03And it reduces stress
00:47:05Which I think I'm contributing to
00:47:08Um, yes
00:47:09Just...
00:47:10Autumn's up
00:47:14Your clothes for this evening's dinner, sir
00:47:17Well, look at this, huh?
00:47:20Thank you, Jeffers
00:47:25We don't take tips here, sir
00:47:28Nobody needs to know
00:47:29And you do not need to call me, sir
00:47:31I'm afraid I must, sir
00:47:33Thank you, sir
00:47:40Thank you, sir
00:47:42In case it should be of interest
00:47:43Not that it would
00:47:45But Mr. Covington Breed wears two-inch lifts in his shoes
00:47:50And here I thought he was talking down to me
00:47:52I must say, you don't look terrible
00:48:01And you most definitely do not look terrible
00:48:07Thank you
00:48:20Thank you
00:48:21Am I wrong or is this your... your fourth wardrobe change for today?
00:48:26I'm not sure, I've lost count
00:48:29You know, this... this almost feels like a date
00:48:38Almost
00:48:39Ladies and gentlemen, as tradition dictates
00:48:51Our dinner begins with jellied eel
00:48:55Bon appetit
00:48:56Bon appetit
00:49:13Oh
00:49:15Have one of mine
00:49:17It hasn't been on the floor
00:49:18How thoughtful, cousin
00:49:23But I got options
00:49:25Anyone read any good books recently?
00:49:29Mother recently published, didn't you?
00:49:31Yes
00:49:33Ten things to do with a napkin ring
00:49:35I can think of eleven
00:49:37You know, I just read a fascinating article about how certain people use humor
00:49:45To mask feelings of inferiority
00:49:48Hey, I'm just a guy
00:49:50Sitting in front of an eel
00:49:52Wishing it was a donut
00:49:57Well, in the words of the bard
00:49:59I challenge you to a duel of wits
00:50:00But I see you're unarmed
00:50:03In the words of a cabbie from South Philly
00:50:06Why don't you go take a fly
00:50:07As anybody I've ever heard
00:50:09It's very good
00:50:10The new exhibit at the Tate
00:50:13Remind us
00:50:14What is it your people do again?
00:50:17My people?
00:50:19Well
00:50:21My mom was a waitress
00:50:23And
00:50:24I'm in the automobile industry
00:50:26He's a mechanic
00:50:28And a rather good one
00:50:29So I've heard
00:50:32How refreshing to have a trade
00:50:36Can't you see my glass is empty?
00:50:44To the duchy
00:50:45To the duchy
00:50:52Your grace
00:50:54It is my honor
00:50:56To follow in your capable footsteps
00:50:58Oh
00:51:06Since you're being so honorable
00:51:10You can get in line behind me
00:51:13I've had a change of heart
00:51:14I've had a change of heart
00:51:24I'm in
00:51:25Go in
00:51:32One
00:51:33One
00:51:35To my son
00:51:43And heir
00:51:44The next Duke of Classic.
00:51:48The next Duke of Classic.
00:52:06Your Grace, how can you allow this?
00:52:10He'll shame the dukedom.
00:52:12Alistair's been groomed for this.
00:52:15As you know, the succession is by bloodline.
00:52:17Certainly you can discourage him.
00:52:20It seems he has a mind of his own.
00:52:22Your Grace, rest assured,
00:52:24we will support the future Duke in any way we can.
00:52:29Come along, Mother.
00:52:36Don't tell me you're capitulating.
00:52:38Quite the opposite.
00:52:40I assure you that Philistine from Philly will be back under a car before the week is up.
00:52:48Come on, pick up.
00:52:49Pick up.
00:52:50It's Dottie.
00:52:51Leave a message.
00:52:52Ma, now you always say, when I put my mind to it, I can achieve anything?
00:52:57Well, I think I might have taken it a step too far.
00:53:02Call me.
00:53:03One of our own.
00:53:12A future Duke of Classic.
00:53:16Put it there, partner.
00:53:17Yeah, thanks, Hugh.
00:53:18Yeah, hey.
00:53:24Thanks, Augie.
00:53:25Nice one, sir.
00:53:26Ice water.
00:53:38A pint, please.
00:53:43Cheers.
00:53:45To the future.
00:53:47To the future.
00:53:48What did I do?
00:53:53I'm not quite sure.
00:53:54It's not just a commitment.
00:53:56It's a lifetime commitment.
00:54:00You know, it's your fault.
00:54:00What?
00:54:02Yeah.
00:54:03Why did you have to walk into that bar?
00:54:05What, the same reason I walked into this one as where you always are?
00:54:08That's true.
00:54:15Of course, I have to polish you up for the ball.
00:54:19How attached are you to your name?
00:54:22What?
00:54:24Johnny.
00:54:25It's a bit informal.
00:54:27Lord John, maybe better.
00:54:28Or Lord Jonathan.
00:54:30Or Johnny.
00:54:33After Johnny Cash.
00:54:35His song was playing on the radio when my mom was taking me home from the hospital.
00:54:38He's rather sweet.
00:54:43Look, I don't expect you to change overnight.
00:54:50You just need to pretend.
00:54:52Walk like a duke, talk like a duke, and people will see a duke.
00:54:56Kind of like what you do.
00:54:59This isn't about me.
00:55:01Johnny!
00:55:03Get yourself over here.
00:55:04This one's for you.
00:55:05Come on.
00:55:06Okay, okay.
00:55:10Coming, coming.
00:55:12Well, we all know a duke with some class.
00:55:17We do.
00:55:18The old cross we call him, just for laughs.
00:55:21He discovered an heir with very tall hair.
00:55:24Who now rules the wrench and the brass.
00:55:28Give it a go, Annie.
00:55:28Come on.
00:55:31Well?
00:55:32There was a young man from Ferry.
00:55:34Great city.
00:55:35Whose accents sounded quite silly.
00:55:37Really?
00:55:38He's a mighty fine bloke who can fix all that's broke.
00:55:42And I hope he says all quite sincerely.
00:55:45Well done.
00:55:46Very nice.
00:55:47Keep it going.
00:55:48All right.
00:55:49Okay.
00:55:51Now, it's true that I am from far away.
00:55:55But you made me feel welcome each day.
00:55:58Now, with fine friends like these,
00:56:02I may never leave.
00:56:05And I've more than one reason to stay.
00:56:09Very nice.
00:56:09Very nice.
00:56:10Let's hear it for Johnny, everyone.
00:56:12Yes, Johnny.
00:56:13Woo!
00:56:14Thank you, everyone.
00:56:17Oh, you are too young.
00:56:19You couldn't sleep?
00:56:42There's a couple of things in my mind.
00:56:45I can imagine.
00:56:46Do you know what you're doing?
00:56:50Yeah.
00:56:51Yeah, I know my way around an engine.
00:56:53I meant what you agreed to tonight.
00:56:59That, I have absolutely no idea.
00:57:06I didn't either when I took the title.
00:57:10I thought you were born to it.
00:57:11I was quite a different man back then.
00:57:16Ancient history, I suppose.
00:57:20Do you think you can get it running again?
00:57:23I haven't met a car I couldn't.
00:57:27You, uh, pass me the socket wrench?
00:57:30Long handle, round head.
00:57:47I'm guessing you haven't worked on many cars?
00:57:51That would have meant getting my hands dirty.
00:57:56You put your finger right there?
00:58:00Yeah.
00:58:00I'm gonna need the needle nose pliers.
00:58:02Oh, that's bad.
00:58:08That's close enough.
00:58:09Relax, relax, but then, but then, this arm, up, up, up, up, okay, good?
00:58:19I think so.
00:58:19Okay, you're good, all right, ready?
00:58:22Yes, yes, yes, I'm ready.
00:58:23Okay, I hear the Duke had engine grease on his shoes this morning.
00:58:33We nicked an oil line.
00:58:36Oh, well, at the ball, you'll be meeting the seventh count of Cavendish,
00:58:42the fourth count of Dossick, and the fourteenth count of Dossick, and the fourteenth count of Rochner.
00:58:48I've lost count.
00:58:49These are people you'll be expected to know.
00:58:51I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry. You okay?
00:59:11Uh, like that, except the exact opposite.
00:59:15Can we take a break?
00:59:17Yeah.
00:59:21So, you told me he's been invited to the ball.
00:59:30Thank you, Brew.
00:59:32You don't know how much this means to us.
00:59:35Okay, okay, I might have invited you.
00:59:38What harm could it be, right?
00:59:42Bye.
00:59:46I might have also invited Finchie and his wife.
00:59:49They're lending us the beet press and all.
00:59:52And Finchie says there's tons of wasted beets produced each year.
00:59:56Apples on the south orchard.
00:59:57Who knows, if this thing takes off, the farmlands can make some real money.
01:00:01I must say, I'm rather surprised.
01:00:03Do you not like this idea?
01:00:06No, I, I, I think it's wonderful.
01:00:10Good.
01:00:11You should probably tell me these things if I'm to be your advisor one day.
01:00:15Are you?
01:00:16It, it does seem an impossible job.
01:00:22But I do like a challenge.
01:00:25Speaking of.
01:00:36One, two, three, up, up, up.
01:00:38One, two, five, five, six, five, six, six, seven, six, seven, seven, seven, seven, eight.
01:00:53We feel that chair, that's...
01:01:13Yep, that's the problem chair right here.
01:01:15I just have to be aware of that.
01:01:16I think we're too close.
01:01:22Hey, Ma.
01:01:23Tell me everything.
01:01:24I think he's a little different than what we thought.
01:01:27So, the Billy I knew is in there.
01:01:29He is.
01:01:30Oh.
01:01:35Look at that.
01:01:37She has a kind face.
01:01:39I thought we were talking about Billy.
01:01:41You're talking about relationships, yours.
01:01:43I can see by the photos, you like her.
01:01:46Mom.
01:01:47Just don't do what you always do.
01:01:49Give her a chance.
01:01:50Pass the circle, Rich?
01:01:59No.
01:02:00Can I ask you something?
01:02:15Of course.
01:02:20We never really talked about her.
01:02:23Yes.
01:02:27I'm aware.
01:02:31Did you ever really love her?
01:02:34More than anything.
01:02:36I can still picture the first time I saw her singing.
01:02:44She was wearing a long red dress and a flower in her hair.
01:02:53I sat in that bar for a week, just plucking up the courage to talk to her.
01:02:59I saw her.
01:03:01Happiest days of my life.
01:03:05But my family couldn't accept my marrying a commoner.
01:03:09So I came back here, out of duty, and let them make me into this.
01:03:20And then all thoughts of your mother were just a dream.
01:03:26You abandoned her.
01:03:30That was me.
01:03:32You abandoned me.
01:03:33Huh?
01:03:36No, no, I never knew about you.
01:03:40She wrote you letters.
01:03:43You never answered.
01:03:45I never got them.
01:03:50I assume she never got mine.
01:03:53And I doubt my father saw to that.
01:03:57Well, that's that, I suppose.
01:03:59That's that?
01:04:01Aren't you angry?
01:04:02Don't you feel anything?
01:04:07Did you have a good childhood?
01:04:09I had everything.
01:04:14Except a father.
01:04:18I'm sorry, Johnny.
01:04:24I missed out on so much.
01:04:27We both did.
01:04:28Okay.
01:04:41Okay.
01:04:43Get on in.
01:04:43Start her up.
01:05:00Up the gas a little.
01:05:01No.
01:05:20No.
01:05:23No.
01:05:23No.
01:05:25Oh, my God.
01:05:55And may I introduce Alistair Covington Breed, Duke of Glasset.
01:06:13You're great.
01:06:24You forgot your cane.
01:06:28I don't think I should be needing that anymore, Jeff.
01:06:32Delighted to hear it, sir.
01:06:33I don't think I should be needing that anymore.
01:07:03You go riding with your dad like this?
01:07:12Oh, most of my childhood was spent in boarding schools.
01:07:17And he saw my father on high holidays.
01:07:23It's nice having you here.
01:07:25You mean it's nice having a mechanic around?
01:07:29No.
01:07:31I meant it's nice having you around.
01:07:41You know I've been working on a little something.
01:07:44I can't wait for you to see it.
01:07:46Make sure that there's a lot of garlic juice spinning.
01:07:49Oh, put some muscle into it, you.
01:07:54What's going on, everyone?
01:07:56Johnny.
01:07:58You see?
01:07:58Quite impressive.
01:08:00We've got a whole juice operation.
01:08:01Your grace.
01:08:04Don't you mean the old crust?
01:08:10You knew?
01:08:12Of course.
01:08:14And I don't disagree.
01:08:17Benji.
01:08:18Oh, sir.
01:08:19As you know, tonight is the 312th Royal Classic Ball.
01:08:29And as such, I'd like to extend an invitation to all of you.
01:08:34Your friends, family, neighbours, spread the word.
01:08:38Well, to the old crust.
01:08:42The old crust!
01:08:43Your grace, you're not answering your phone.
01:08:49Alistair is requesting a meeting.
01:08:51I'm a bit busy here.
01:08:53He says it's urgent.
01:08:56Have you got a name for this enterprise yet?
01:08:59Uh, we've been kicking around a few.
01:09:05Prudence.
01:09:06Hmm?
01:09:07You got any ideas?
01:09:10Oh.
01:09:11Maybe.
01:09:13What about
01:09:14common ground
01:09:16juice?
01:09:19Oh.
01:09:21I don't think we can beat that.
01:09:24What?
01:09:24What?
01:09:24What?
01:09:24What do you say?
01:09:28Common ground
01:09:29juice?
01:09:32Common ground!
01:09:33What's this urgent matter about, then?
01:09:43Alistair has uncovered some important information.
01:09:47Apparently, in her zeal to anoint Mr. Payne, your trusted advisor failed to notice something.
01:09:55What are you talking about?
01:09:57Well, it seems your heir was born after your marriage to his mother was annulled.
01:10:02Thus, his claim to the title is illegitimate.
01:10:05You can hang around the pickled pickle if you choose.
01:10:15But there's no future for you in this castle.
01:10:19Touché.
01:10:20It's a fencing term.
01:10:23Hmm.
01:10:26Well, at least we got the car running.
01:10:30Johnny!
01:10:31I should never have let myself get swept up in this.
01:10:53Castles, titles, jelly deals.
01:10:57I came here to meet my father, and I did.
01:10:59And I guess that's all that was meant to be.
01:11:01Things have changed now.
01:11:03People don't change, Prudence.
01:11:06I don't belong here.
01:11:07That's not true.
01:11:10You can't just leave.
01:11:16What about us?
01:11:23She was right all along.
01:11:28She?
01:11:30Girl at the bar.
01:11:32Said you'd find a way to end things and fix a car on the way out.
01:11:37I'm sorry.
01:11:40Me too.
01:11:50I'm sorry.
01:11:53You heard already.
01:11:58Did you ask?
01:12:01Hey, I'm sorry, mate.
01:12:05I still say you would have made a right brilliant Duke.
01:12:08Yeah, well, you spent too much time in a pub.
01:12:13Well, that is true.
01:12:14Chin up.
01:12:15Yeah, you'll be all right.
01:12:19Jeffress?
01:12:20I packed up your things.
01:12:23May I say it's going to be very dull at the castle without you.
01:12:28First round's on me.
01:12:30No, Jeffress, it's not necessary.
01:12:32Actually, it's on you.
01:12:33I'm using your tip.
01:12:35I can see why you'd want to leave this pack of digits.
01:12:41Well, what about Prudence?
01:12:43Pretty sure that wasn't going anywhere anyway.
01:12:45Hey, that's rubbish.
01:12:48I quite agree.
01:12:50Don't you have a ball to get ready for?
01:12:53We're not going.
01:12:55Who wants to be around a bunch of stiffs anyway?
01:12:57Friends.
01:12:57Friends.
01:12:58Friends.
01:12:59Friends.
01:13:00Friends.
01:13:01Friends.
01:13:02Friends.
01:13:03You're okay?
01:13:04This was meant to turn out differently.
01:13:17It almost did.
01:13:20I suppose different wasn't meant to be.
01:13:24Well, back to the way things have always been done.
01:13:27So is that what you're going to do, too?
01:13:312am, isn't it?
01:13:40Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for the ball?
01:13:43I'm not going.
01:13:44None of us are.
01:13:46Not without Johnny.
01:13:52That's not right.
01:13:58What is it?
01:14:00I, I, I, I, uh, I, I need to see the Duke.
01:14:15You ever change your tie, Jeffers?
01:14:17Only on Sunday.
01:14:23You agreed to stay through the ball.
01:14:25A bet's a bet.
01:14:27Can I owe you one?
01:14:28No.
01:14:29You need to finish what you started here, and you started a lot.
01:14:32You invited the village inside those walls for the first time in 312 years.
01:14:38You need to be there with them.
01:14:40Besides, if you don't go, who am I supposed to dance with?
01:14:43Prudence.
01:14:45You think people can't change.
01:14:49Well, I disagree.
01:14:52Oh, Pisbury.
01:15:06Lady, I'd like to see you.
01:15:11Lord Cavendish, looking well.
01:15:14Pleasure.
01:15:16Pleasure.
01:15:16Dottie.
01:15:24Billy.
01:15:26I haven't been called that for years.
01:15:28What do they call you?
01:15:30The old crust.
01:15:34You're looking lovelier than the day we met.
01:15:36Oh.
01:15:37Oh.
01:15:44Anister.
01:15:45Eleanor, this is Dorothy Penn.
01:15:49Dottie, these are two of the biggest snobs you'll ever meet.
01:15:54Oh.
01:15:55Come along.
01:15:56I'll introduce you to some more.
01:15:57Oh.
01:15:58Oh, what now?
01:16:06Heavens above.
01:16:11Let them have their fun.
01:16:15This will all end soon enough.
01:16:17Oh.
01:16:18Well, I never thought I'd see this.
01:16:36Me neither.
01:16:45Ma?
01:16:45Oh, Dottie's.
01:16:49Oh, my.
01:16:51What are you doing here?
01:16:52Oh, look at you.
01:16:55Look at you.
01:16:56Well, Billy got me a ticket out.
01:16:59First class.
01:17:00I'm so sorry.
01:17:01This is, uh.
01:17:02Well, this is prudence.
01:17:04I feel like I know you already.
01:17:06Mrs. Bainer is so lovely to meet you.
01:17:08Oh, please.
01:17:09Honey, call me Dottie.
01:17:11All right.
01:17:13Dottie, lovely to meet you.
01:17:14If I can have everyone's attention.
01:17:23As I'm sure you know, I'm not exactly known for expressing emotions.
01:17:30But I'm going to give it a go.
01:17:32Well, this past week has brought new life to these old burns.
01:17:40Maybe it's the beetroot juice.
01:17:41Or driving a car I once loved.
01:17:49Or communing with the good people of classic again.
01:17:54It seems to me I've been given a second chance.
01:17:57To get to get to know my son.
01:18:02Who has reminded me of the man I once was.
01:18:06When anything seemed possible.
01:18:09Originally, I was going to use this occasion to discuss my declining health.
01:18:15But now I say, shut the doors of the graveyard.
01:18:20Because I have much yet to accomplish.
01:18:24This time with the people of classic alongside me.
01:18:28Hey!
01:18:29And when my time is through, I hope that Johnny will be ready to succeed me.
01:18:43Because I think he will make an uncommonly good duke.
01:18:46Your grace is obviously confused.
01:18:53Actually, I've never been more clear.
01:18:55What are you talking about?
01:18:58Many years ago, I married the love of my life.
01:19:03But I didn't stand up for her.
01:19:07For us.
01:19:09Which I regret to this day.
01:19:11When I received the papers annulling our marriage, I was heartbroken.
01:19:22Too heartbroken to sign them.
01:19:25Your signature is on them.
01:19:28Well, I'll let my advisor speak to that.
01:19:31Prudence?
01:19:33The duke is left-handed.
01:19:35His signature leaves an ink smudge as his hand crosses the page.
01:19:39The signature on the annulment is forged.
01:19:42Most likely by the duke's father.
01:19:45Rendering it invalid.
01:19:47In fact, it is quite possible that his grace and Dottie Payne are still married.
01:19:58Duke William!
01:20:00Long live the duke!
01:20:03No, no, no, no, no, no!
01:20:06This won't stand!
01:20:09Feel free to authenticate it with my solicitor.
01:20:13She's waiting for you by the door.
01:20:15On your way out.
01:20:17Oh, darling.
01:20:19Catch me, mother!
01:20:23Darling.
01:20:29Well, that's that.
01:20:32Not quite.
01:20:42Not quite.
01:20:42When's the last time you hugged someone?
01:21:011989.
01:21:02Yeah, speech, Johnny.
01:21:07Speech!
01:21:08Yeah!
01:21:09Speech!
01:21:10Yeah!
01:21:23Your grace.
01:21:27Dad.
01:21:28You've got a lot of living to do
01:21:33And I
01:21:37Have a few things to live down
01:21:40And
01:21:45More than a lot to learn
01:21:49But I got some promises to keep
01:21:52That's right
01:21:53The boys and I, we're gonna start a juice company
01:21:55We're gonna make that farmland self-supporting again
01:22:01And make the duchy profitable
01:22:03But before any of that
01:22:05I just want to dance with the prettiest girl in the kingdom
01:22:11We'll be right back
01:22:17We'll be right back
01:22:19We'll be right back
01:22:21We'll be right back
01:23:25Lifetime commitment, huh?
01:23:29Nervous?
01:23:34Actually.
01:23:39I can't wait.
01:23:43I can't wait.
01:23:51I can't wait.
01:23:52I can't wait.
01:24:22I can't wait.
01:24:26Oh, hey, Dad.
01:24:30Is it tea time already?
01:24:33Turns out I love tea time.
01:24:35Trisket seems to like you.
01:24:38That is because he's been bribing him with beets.
01:24:42I don't think so.
01:24:43Didn't you say that horses were excellent judges of character?
01:24:47Perhaps.
01:24:52This beauty is going to be leaving us soon.
01:24:55That is Triscuit's son, Biscuit.
01:24:59And where's Biscuit going?
01:25:01Your cousin Henry is in love with an American girl.
01:25:05He's going to give her Biscuit as a present.
01:25:07Wait a second.
01:25:08I got another cousin?
01:25:09Is he nicer than the other one?
01:25:12My dear boy, you have many cousins.
01:25:16Actually, you have a cousin Desmond about to marry a girl over a castle.
01:25:20Is that anywhere near here?
01:25:22Have you heard of the kingdom of Androvia?
01:25:25Of course I have.
01:25:26Who hasn't?
01:25:27Come on.
01:25:29Let's go to the library.
01:25:31And I'll educate you on our rather complicated family tree.
01:25:36Guess I'm a new leaf on an old branch.
01:25:39Well, I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:25:41I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:11I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:12I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:13I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:14I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:15I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:16I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:17I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:18I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:19I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:20I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:21I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:22I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:23I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:24I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:25I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:26I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:27I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:28I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:29I'll be getting the leaf blower.
01:26:30I'll be getting the leaf blower.
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