- 22/04/2025
Diagnosis Murder Season 5 Episode 9 Must Kill TV
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00:00Family's in crisis. You want me to buy a series about a hooker. She's a licensed healthcare
00:06professional. It's a perfectly legal and compelling side of the medical profession
00:10we've never seen before on television. We're the Family Values Network, remember? Our viewers
00:16want people to go to angels, not hookers, to solve their problems. What about big man
00:21on campus? A theology student with a Bible and a badge. Think Brad Pitt. We don't have
00:28Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt wasn't always Brad Pitt. For a long time he was just Brad Pitt. Big
00:36man on campus is Hunter meets Wiseguy on 21 Jump Street and we have Jackson Burley running
00:41the show. Burley has not had a hit in 10 years. Anthropologists should freeze him now so people
00:48in the future can see what the 1980s were like. This is his big comeback. He's just delivered
00:53a pilot. It won't kill you to see it. Anything else? Santiarian? Yes, ma'am.
01:12We've got three more bags of this in the mailroom. Imagine that. Mail in the mailroom. What's the
01:19point? We're all from fans of Space Cops. You mean fat women with unicorn jewelry and
01:27elf statuettes dreaming of finding a man as affectionate as their cats. The Spaceys are
01:33a very devoted group of viewers. In fact, research shows most are baby boomers and their children,
01:40all of whom fall comfortably into the 18 to 49 demographic. Given time and patience, Space Cops
01:47could become a multimedia phenomena. Not even if it had Brad Pitt.
01:57We have things to discuss. Walk with me. I'm late to a taping.
02:03Everybody hates me. They all want to see me fail.
02:06You're under enormous pressure. There's no doubt about it. But you don't help yourself by doing
02:11this. They hate me because I'm so damn good. You're my lawyer, not my publicist. I am your
02:20oldest friend and your sorority sister, which makes me one of the few people can say, what
02:23the hell were you thinking? I can't just sit there and let the entire TV industry trash me
02:28in the press. Yes, you can. You can't lose. The only way you'll go is if they fire you.
02:35And if they do that, they still have to pay you the balance of a $15 million contract.
02:40It's not the money I care about. It's the respect. Money is respect in this business.
02:46I care about you.
02:52Look out!
02:54Steven!
02:56Steven!
03:02What are you?
03:04Where? Where are you fifth?
03:08Percy!
03:10Percy!
03:11Percy!
03:12Call 9-1-1.
04:12The salmon are running.
04:17That's great, Dad. What are they running from?
04:20That was a joke.
04:22Look, Dad, if I can remove a spleen, I'm sure that I can bait a hook with a live worm.
04:29Okay, look, why don't we talk about it when I get there?
04:33Okay, I do too. You bet. Bye, Dad.
04:36You visiting with your dad?
04:38My vacation is coming up in a couple of days, and I made the mistake of telling him.
04:42Now he wants to spend a week with me fishing in Oregon.
04:45Well, that's great, isn't it?
04:48I don't know. I mean, I haven't seen the guy since my parents were divorced.
04:52That's when I was in high school.
04:54He's remarried. He's got step-sons. He's got a big dog.
04:58But he's not calling them. He's calling you, and this is your opportunity to get to know him.
05:02Well, what's the point now?
05:05I remember you telling me that you envied the father-son relationship that Steve and Mark have.
05:10I do.
05:11Well, this is your chance to build your relationship with your dad.
05:15But I don't want to have that with my dad. I want to have it with Steve's dad.
05:19The two most enduring genres on TV are cop shows and medical dramas.
05:29You are a franchise.
05:32A what?
05:32You're serious.
05:34I call it Dr. Danger.
05:36He heals the sick. He heals the scumbags.
05:39His weapons are a stethoscope and a gun.
05:41I don't have a gun.
05:42Guns don't fly. Cars don't talk. And angels don't look like Della Reese.
05:48So what? I need you for the pinch to ground the concept in reality.
05:53That's what I'm talking about.
05:54Good. Well, welcome aboard.
05:57You know, this sudden interest in my life wouldn't have anything to do with Rachel Woodrow being my patient, would it?
06:04A year ago, you exposed my wife as a sick, twisted, money-hungry murderer and sent her to prison.
06:11That revelation tore my life apart.
06:14By doing this project, maybe I can make some of the pain go away.
06:19I'm sorry.
06:21I had no idea.
06:22No, it's, uh...
06:24I keep it locked inside.
06:26But you know, a good pitch would probably lift Rachel's spirits.
06:29What?
06:30Not, uh, today.
06:31Look, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
06:34I'll help you with your project on one condition.
06:37You leave Rachel alone until she's healthy, until she's back at work.
06:42You protect your patients because you're a doctor who cares.
06:46If there's something like that.
06:51Fighting germs with medical science.
06:54Ended justice with his fists.
06:57Did you get a look at the driver?
06:58It was a spacey.
07:00Excuse me?
07:02One of those obsessed space cop fans in a Star Command uniform.
07:06I canceled the show.
07:08They tried to kill you because of a TV show.
07:11TV is an intimate medium.
07:13You let these characters come into your house every week.
07:17And for some people, the characters are almost real.
07:20I didn't cancel their favorite TV show.
07:23I killed their closest friends.
07:25Well, I'll look into it.
07:28Take these with you when they're low.
07:31Oh, no, no, no, no.
07:31I need those to stay in touch with the office.
07:33I know.
07:34The fax machine and TVs go next.
07:37Dr. Sloan, you're killing me.
07:39No, I'm not.
07:40These are.
07:41You need to cut down on stress.
07:43I thought you said that my condition had stabilized.
07:46Stabilized?
07:47Yes, but you have high blood pressure.
07:49You have a family history of heart disease.
07:51You need rest.
07:52It's pilot season, Dr. Sloan.
07:55That kind of a mindset is going to drive you right to a heart attack, my friend.
08:00Karen, explain this to him.
08:02You know, Dr. Sloan, Rachel's ambition her entire life has been to become the top programming
08:10executive at a major network.
08:12She hasn't slowed down one second getting there.
08:16It's time she did.
08:19Traitor, I'll be back later.
08:21It's a good thing you knew about the nitroglycerin pills.
08:34We were in the same sorority in college, Dr. Sloan.
08:37We didn't have any secrets from each other.
08:40You know, I have one for you, Karen.
08:44That attack was just a warning.
08:46She has got to take it easy.
08:48You think she will?
08:49Well, only if the next guy who tries to run her over doesn't miss.
09:00Stay to space, cops.
09:02This is Normack.
09:04Yes, you can.
09:05Welcome aboard, Lieutenant Sloan.
09:08I'm always glad to assist a fellow officer.
09:13And, uh, you are?
09:15Uh, High Admiral of the UEO.
09:19United Extraterrestrial Operations.
09:23I met here on Earth.
09:27In the real world?
09:29Uh-huh.
09:31What's it say in your driver's place?
09:34Oh, uh, Ernie Cooley.
09:36What is all this, Ernie?
09:37Uh, we're mounting an international campaign throughout fandom to, to save space cops.
09:44We're spamming the internet.
09:46We're leafleting the SF convention.
09:48You're running over network executives?
09:50Who do you think we are, Babylon 5 fans?
09:54Each of us has sworn to uphold the space cop creed.
09:57To protect those of other races, other places, other faces.
10:02To take justice and peace to the furthest edges of space and beyond.
10:07Beyond.
10:08Beyond.
10:09Yeah, I get your point, Ernie, but whoever tried to kill Rachel Woodrow was wearing one
10:13of these uniforms.
10:14Oh, clearly this is an attempt to besmirch the spacees.
10:18Anyone can wear the uniform, but not everybody can embody it and the ideals it represents.
10:25You're right.
10:28You're right.
10:29I don't deserve to wear the badge.
10:38Someone had to stop her from destroying the universe.
10:45I'm just sorry I failed.
10:52Um, you do all know that this is just a TV show, right?
10:57Don't leave here one minute earlier than necessary.
11:14You're much more important to us than any network schedule.
11:18Thank you, Carl.
11:19I really appreciate that.
11:21We're behind you 1,000%.
11:23You're very lucky to have such an understanding, boss.
11:31He's a viper.
11:33Relax.
11:34Regroup.
11:35Center yourself.
11:36Those are code words, but don't bother looking over your shoulder.
11:39The knives are already in your back.
11:42I had no idea the television business was so brutal.
11:47Doggy dog and all the dogs puppies.
11:49You ever think of doing something else?
11:50When can I get out of here?
11:54Well, Rachel, I was going to release you today.
11:56Good, because I was going to leave in two minutes anyway.
12:02Rachel, I have told you, you have to slow down.
12:05You've got to cut down on the stress.
12:08I'm the first woman to run a network.
12:10If I suddenly slow down, this is going to confirm everything that they already think.
12:15That I can't take the pressure.
12:17That I'm too fragile.
12:18I'm too weak for the job.
12:19I'm afraid that's the truth.
12:24I'm going to send an assistant to pick up all this stuff.
12:27Thank you very much, Dr. Sloan, for everything.
12:29Hey, there you are, huh?
12:43What's up?
12:44Well, you know, I'm supposed to go on vacation tomorrow.
12:47Great.
12:47Have a wonderful time.
12:48The thing is, I think I picked the wrong month to go.
12:52Statistics clearly prove that more patients come in now than any other time of the year.
12:56Well, I think you may want to look at these statistics yourself.
13:02And while you're doing that, I'm going to call my travel agent and see if I can get another flight.
13:06You're that eager to avoid seeing your father?
13:08I would rather spend a week in proctology.
13:13Calling.
13:14Doctor.
13:14Danger.
13:16And his trusty assistant, Derek.
13:17It's Jesse.
13:18Derek is better, trust me.
13:20So, I got a picture with Rachel.
13:21Meet you at her office today at three.
13:23Rachel, she just left here.
13:25Shows you how eager she is to snap this up before CBS gets it.
13:29Hey, Troy works too.
13:32Rock with it, roll with it.
13:34See how it plays.
13:35Oh, oh, oh, oh.
13:44Jackson Burley.
13:49Writer, producer of My Gun Has Bullets and the Young Barnaby Jones Chronicles.
13:53I don't think I saw them.
13:55Even if you live in a cave, you can get cable.
13:58Join our culture, Mark.
14:00It's fun.
14:01Jack, how's it going?
14:02Well, I took the back road up, but I will not bite the fat lady's bullet when the preacher sings for me.
14:09Oh, same goes triple for me.
14:12What do you say?
14:13I have no idea, but I agree with him wholeheartedly.
14:16So, uh, you here to pitch Rachel?
14:18It's a screen on my pilot.
14:20Big man on campus.
14:21That's a man with two hands.
14:22He's a theology student with a 4.0 average and a .357 Magnum.
14:31Oh, you know, I heard the buzz on that is so high you can get altitude sickness just talking about it.
14:36Used to be I didn't have to wait for anybody.
14:38Got a 22-episode commitment for my grocery list.
14:42You know, I think I saw that show.
14:43This is our third date, Cindy.
14:48I need more from you.
14:50I'm not that kind of girl.
14:52Oh, and I'm not that kind of guy.
14:54Then what is it you want?
14:56I want to know you.
14:58To understand you.
15:00To touch your soul before I touch your body.
15:04You are different from all the other boys.
15:06Maybe I can show you who I really am.
15:11What I truly believe in.
15:31Say.
15:34What is it?
15:35This isn't a sorority.
15:38It's a satanic cult.
15:40It's not a cult.
15:42It's an alternative lifestyle.
15:45No.
15:46Open your black heart to Satan, TJ.
15:51We have...
15:52No.
15:56No.
15:56No.
15:56No.
16:00No.
16:13Thank you, Walter.
16:15No.
16:16No.
16:18No.
16:18No.
16:19No.
16:20No.
16:20No.
16:20No.
16:21I'm a doctor. I have to get in there. Allow me.
16:36Jack, you don't see PR? Are you kidding? I've got five medical shows. I'll have an ambulance.
16:59Blow out the candles on your pinnacle, baby. You're all under arrest.
17:03What? This sucks.
17:07She's dead.
17:12It's worse than I thought.
17:19It's pretty cut and dry. She died of a heart attack, Mark.
17:22Well, Rachel knew she was a high risk for coronary problems.
17:26It was a death that didn't have to happen.
17:28No, in more ways than one. I found glucose under her tongue.
17:32Glucose?
17:33The nitroglycerin pills were replaced with sugar pills.
17:36This was murder.
17:37Did you just say murder?
17:39Hey, isn't that Rachel Woodrow?
17:41Jesse, we can handle it.
17:42Well, not without my help.
17:44Do you need someone to negotiate the labyrinthian quarters of power at NBC?
17:49Jesse, you haven't had a vacation in over a year now, and you don't want to let your dad down.
17:55But the investigation will tell you all about it when you get back.
18:01Have a good time.
18:06Did you say labyrinthian?
18:07We know you're the best person for the job.
18:09I really appreciate the support, Carl.
18:10Rest assured we're behind you one thousand percent.
18:12What's this?
18:14Well, that's my way of saying that you cracked through the wall without shaving the glitter off the cake, baby.
18:20Thanks.
18:21I just wish it happened differently.
18:22Rachel is like a sister to me.
18:23Well, Rachel was the glory and the hope.
18:24The fire that burns and the flowering rose that stings the least.
18:27And the way to honor her memory is to deliver a kick-ass schedule.
18:28Well, that's my commitment to her and to this network.
18:29So, uh...
18:30What do you think?
18:31What do you think?
18:32What do you think?
18:33What do you think?
18:34Well, that's my way of saying that you cracked through the wall without shaving the glitter off the cake, baby.
18:36Thanks.
18:37I just wish it happened differently.
18:38Rachel is like a sister to me.
18:39Well, Rachel was the glory and the hope.
18:42The fire that burns and the flowering rose that stings the least.
18:46And the way to honor her memory is to deliver a kick-ass schedule.
18:51Well, that's my commitment to her and to this network.
18:54So, uh...
18:56Why are you putting, uh...
19:00Big Man on campus?
19:02Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. It's passe.
19:05Well, it wasn't passe yesterday.
19:08Nothing is passe yesterday. This is today.
19:12The show just wasn't hip anymore. I need fresh ideas.
19:16Look, I...
19:17I leveraged my whole studio to produce this pilot.
19:20If I don't get something going, my deficits are gonna kill me.
19:24Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, huh?
19:28You want hip?
19:30I got something so cutting-edge.
19:34It draws blood.
19:36The new Peter Pan.
19:46He's a fairy.
19:48But with an attitude.
19:50And a marriage.
19:52It's too early to be developing for med season. Come back in a couple months.
19:58I don't have a couple of months.
20:00Thanks for the flowers, Jack.
20:02Hollywood is reeling from the sudden death of controversial NBC president Rachel Woodrow.
20:14Today, TV's biggest stars share their poignant memories of her brief tumultuous life.
20:20Well, you know, Rachel tried to get Family Matters for NBC.
20:24And she had this bizarre idea that she's gonna revitalize the show.
20:30Urkel and Winslow for hire.
20:32Tough, gritty, private eyes taming the mean streets with their unique brand of crime fighting.
20:38You know, she saw it as a drama, you know, the way, uh, Lou Grant left Mary Tyler Moore.
20:44Hey, it worked for me?
20:50You got my message?
20:51Beginning to wonder.
20:52What message?
20:53I forgive you for being late.
20:55Bringing Steve was a masterstroke.
20:57You got your badge and your gun with you?
20:59What are you doing here?
21:00Well, you don't think you could pitch this alone, do you?
21:03Pitching is a gift, my friend, and you just don't have it.
21:06Now, Paige is waiting.
21:07I'll do the talking.
21:08You fill in the gaps.
21:09We came to investigate a murder.
21:13Not bad.
21:14Try to be more convincing in the room.
21:16Rachel Woodrow was killed.
21:20No problem.
21:21That'll give our pitch immediacy and verisimilitude.
21:25You must be Dr. Danger.
21:27Dr. Mark Sloan, a medical consultant with the police department.
21:32That's me.
21:33It's her son.
21:34They live together, too, which brings the adventure home.
21:37We're investigating Rachel Woodrow's murder.
21:39Someone switched her heart medicine with sugar pills.
21:42A sweet way to die.
21:43That could be our pilot.
21:44We're gonna need all of her, uh, appointment books and belongings.
21:48Help yourself.
21:49They're boxed up in the hallway.
21:51You know, you've redecorated the office nicely.
21:54Is that your way of saying it didn't take me long to move in?
21:57Friendly as Santa, but cunning as a ferret, isn't it?
22:01It's pilot season, Dr. Sloan.
22:04I don't have time to mourn.
22:06I have to create a prime-time schedule.
22:08Sounds like Rachel's murder provided you with a career opportunity.
22:11Yes, it did.
22:13Ouch.
22:14Do you feel the heat?
22:15It'll radiate off the screen.
22:17Did, uh, Rachel have any enemies?
22:19She made careers and broke them.
22:21Of course she had enemies.
22:23If I'm any good at this, so will I.
22:25What about debt threats?
22:32Lance, could you have the mailroom prepare Rachel's hate mail for Detective Sloan?
22:36Right away, Miss Jennings.
22:38You can pick it up on your way out.
22:39The executive mailroom's at the last door before the elevators.
22:42Thank you for the time.
22:45We'll be back.
22:52Now that is a series.
23:05Uh, excuse us, this is the mailroom.
23:07The heart of the network.
23:09Barry Fellows, Manager Information Services and Operations.
23:13Which is a fancy way of saying the mail guy.
23:18You seem awfully well dressed for mail men.
23:21Oh, we have to stay presentable at all times.
23:24We deliver mail, faxes, and packages to every office in this building.
23:29From the CEO to the lowest development executive.
23:33And if you want any of those jobs, you start here.
23:38They all did.
23:40You know, all the executives seem so...
23:44Young?
23:46Well, youth is more important in TV than experience.
23:51Rachel went from here to running the network in three years.
23:55The fastest rise and fall I've seen in my three decades here.
23:59She didn't fall.
24:00She was pushed.
24:02Steve Sloan.
24:03Homicide.
24:05We're here to get Rachel's hate mail.
24:09Save us the trouble of shredding it.
24:14That's all for Rachel?
24:15For the month.
24:17Need some help down with it?
24:18That'd be nice.
24:20Okay.
24:21Hey, could you give these guys a hand?
24:28What are you doing here anyway, Jesse?
24:29You're supposed to be fishing with your dad.
24:32Well, I've gone undercover to help you guys explore the...
24:35The Labyrinthian quarters of Howard MBC.
24:38You're not an undercover cop, Jess. This is fraud.
24:41No, it's not. I got this job honestly, based on my own qualifications.
24:45You told him you were a surgical resident at Community General?
24:48Oh, you bet I did.
24:49You need a Masters or better just to get an interview.
24:52Competition is brutal.
24:54You know, we don't know a thing about politics and network television anyway.
24:58Maybe having a guy on the inside is a good idea.
25:01Jesse Travis.
25:05Man on the inside.
25:07Sounds like a series.
25:09See, I'm picking up the attitude already.
25:11You got enough attitude.
25:12You pick up on anything else?
25:14Well, Harry told you that Rachel rose faster than anybody else.
25:17Paige just beat that record, thanks to Rachel's death.
25:21See, it all fits a pattern.
25:23Anybody who gets in Paige's way is either fired or they quit.
25:27One way or another, they're gone.
25:29You think she'd resort to murder?
25:31Well, like I said, it's pretty brutal.
25:33And you know Jackson Burley, the guy who wrote Big Man on Campus?
25:37Anyway, he was supposed to write Jack Blood Action Fist.
25:40Great movie.
25:42Excellent movie.
25:44150 million dollars and counting.
25:46Anyway, Rachel didn't let him out of his exclusive contract to write it
25:50because he had to finish writing the last three episodes of the young Barnaby Jones Chronicles.
25:55And when he did, she canceled it.
25:58I think Jesse just let us a big cleaner.
26:00Frank and Cobb isn't just another basic cable oxygen show.
26:16We're rewriting the grammar of television.
26:20I had no idea.
26:21Yes, that's why Rachel Woodrow didn't buy it.
26:25She didn't have the guts to revolutionize the medium.
26:29Now that she's gone network TV, we'll have more shows with an edge.
26:3512 dead cops coming together to make one great crime fighter.
26:41Frank and Cobb.
26:43Ready for your shot, Rachel.
26:44All right.
26:45Hey.
26:49Kick some butt.
26:51How do you think it's a good day to visit?
26:53We're doing the big mud wrestling sequence this afternoon.
26:58You know, in 20 years, they're going to be saying Frank and Cobb in the same breath with
27:05Police Story, Hill Street Blues, Air Wolf.
27:07You know, Rachel, she could have had this.
27:14But she lacked her vision.
27:16Rachel could have had a lot of things.
27:19What she lacked was nitroglycerin pills.
27:21Someone switched them with sugar pills and killed her.
27:24You think I look good for that?
27:27If you were the last person to see her alive, you could have switched the pills during your meeting.
27:31Well, why would I do that?
27:33It cost you a movie career and then canceled your show.
27:35Let me rephrase that.
27:38Why would I do that when she hadn't decided whether to pick a big man on campus?
27:42She was watching the pilot when she died.
27:45Revenge?
27:48You know, they got a lot of guts in basic cable.
27:55I don't know, but it takes a whole lot more than just guts.
27:58What they don't have is money.
28:01Non-deficit financing, this whole thing.
28:03You really need a network show to generate cash flow.
28:07You know what they say?
28:09You can walk the talk, but don't run the gun if you can't stand the hand.
28:15That's what I always say.
28:17That's what I always say.
28:18I swear by the goo that the anthrobial mebocyte who canceled the greatest show in the universe will feel my wrath and tremble before my righteous fury.
28:30Unbelievable.
28:31You're telling me, a fan base that devoted is something showrunners can only dream about.
28:37What kind of a person would write that?
28:39Clearly someone who doesn't live by the space cops' creed.
28:43Huh?
28:44To protect other races and other faces.
28:493,000 people write in trying to save the show. I figured it's worth a look.
28:54Question is, is it worth a life?
28:55Well, the outer space law enforcement theme specifically targets the key young urban males that advertisers crave.
29:04And the rugged character of Captain Hudson is tremendously appealing to women 25 to 49.
29:10Well, whoever didn't have access to her office in order to switch the pills.
29:16Well, according to her calendar here, that's just about everybody in the television business.
29:20I tell you, during pilot season, network president is the most popular person in the world and the loneliest.
29:31What, you wanted an inside perspective. I'm giving it to you.
29:34We're still waiting for something useful.
29:35Rachel's first development season was going to be her last.
29:40Rachel was on her way out? Who told you that?
29:44No one told me. I saw the pilot she ordered.
29:48Okay, go ahead. You tell me what you think.
29:51These are pages from the pilot that she was watching just before she died.
29:55It's TJ Mann's first date, okay?
29:57And he takes this gal back to her sorority.
29:59And he says, I need to know you to touch your soul before I touch your body.
30:06Let me see that.
30:10I need that too.
30:13But I can't have sex for free anymore.
30:16It's $2.50 a pop.
30:19And if you're paying by check, I need two forms of ID.
30:22I don't think I can really see that.
30:30I don't believe it.
30:33We just found a murder weapon.
30:35Rachel Woodrow was killed by this pilot.
30:37The address is CBS. Welcome home.
30:50Okay, you got me. How does a TV pilot become a murder weapon?
31:04It was what killed her.
31:07The sugar pills were just to ensure that it was fatal.
31:10But how could the killer know that she would have been alone when she reached for the pills?
31:14Everyone knew that Rachel insisted on watching the tapes by herself.
31:18She'd seen so many bad pilots.
31:20I mean, if Slim and the nun didn't kill her, why would big man on campus?
31:24This one was made especially for her.
31:26Look at these pages.
31:28Okay, sorority call girls.
31:30It's tacky, but it's nothing that Melrose Place hasn't done.
31:32That's not what's on the tape.
31:36Open your black heart to Satan, TJ.
31:40We have...
31:41Thank you for coming in, Ms. Donino.
31:43It would be in your best interest to come to the police station.
31:45What the hell is that supposed to mean?
31:46I figured you wouldn't want to be in your office when we discuss Satan.
31:47I have no idea what you're talking about.
31:48Then my mistake.
31:49Sorry for the inconvenience.
31:51I'll just come to your office if I have any more questions about Satan.
31:52If one word of this leaks out, my lawsuit will be in your office.
31:53If one word of this leaks out, my lawsuit will be in your office.
31:54I'll just come to your office if I have any more questions about Satan.
31:58If one word of this leaks out, my lawsuit will bankrupt your department.
31:59Ms. Donino, your religious practices are your own business.
32:01If one word of this leaks out, my lawsuit will bankrupt your department.
32:02I have no idea what you're talking about.
32:04Then my mistake.
32:05Sorry for the inconvenience.
32:07I'll just come to your office if I have any more questions about Satan.
32:19If one word of this leaks out, my lawsuit will bankrupt your department.
32:24Ms. Donino, your religious practices are your own business.
32:27I'm just interested in Rachel Woodrow's murder.
32:32Rachel was murdered?
32:35By whom?
32:37Someone who knew that your college sorority was full of devil worshippers.
32:46We weren't a cult.
32:48Sure, we rose to the occasional goat in the moonlight.
32:51But, you know, aside from the Latin chants and the naked dancing, it's like any other barbecue.
32:57Bunch of wholesome co-eds out for some good, clean fun on a Saturday night.
33:01We were 18 and away from home for the first time.
33:06Trying to rebel against our parents.
33:08By worshipping the devil?
33:10No one took it seriously at the time.
33:13It wasn't until we were out in the real world that we realized how stupid we had been.
33:19And how damaging it would be if anyone ever found out.
33:24To a lawyer in a prestigious firm, I can understand.
33:26But the, uh, entertainment industry seems to be a little more tolerant of, uh, alternative lifestyles.
33:33Sure.
33:34Do drugs.
33:35Forge checks.
33:36Sleep with your sister.
33:37Nobody in Hollywood cares.
33:39But you light one lousy black candle.
33:43Can you confirm what Dee Dee's harshest critics have been saying all along?
33:48Don't think that Rachel and I didn't joke about it in the privacy of her office.
33:53There are people in the flyover states who believe that shows like Married but Available and His and Hers and Hers are deliberate attempts to undermine this nation's moral values.
34:04And if they found out the woman who had put those shows on the air was worshipping the devil.
34:09Even the USA network wouldn't have touched her.
34:13Yeah.
34:15Satanist?
34:16Mm-hmm.
34:17In a college sorority.
34:19That mean anything to you?
34:21Yeah, that means, uh, Rachel Woodrow sold her soul to the devil, but she still couldn't take a hit TV show.
34:28I'm glad you find death so amusing.
34:30Especially since your pilot may have killed her.
34:33Well, that's good writing.
34:34That's murder.
34:35We find out that script was deliberately changed to trigger the heart attack.
34:40Listen.
34:42You can floor both pedals, but you can't jam the rooster if he's looking down the speculum.
34:49I'll assume that wasn't a confession.
34:52The only thing I'm guilty of is taking the worst story notes I ever heard.
34:57Jeez, uh, that whole Satan angle, that wasn't my idea.
35:00The name was on the script.
35:03My script was a tone poem about fragile innocence meeting the brutal reality of the cold streets.
35:12So why did you change hookers to Satan worship?
35:15Because you don't ignore a network president's notes and hope she'll pick up your pilot.
35:18Rachel Woodrow told you to change it to Satanist?
35:23She didn't have the guts to tell me directly.
35:26I got the facts right here.
35:28And you just happened to keep the memo all this time.
35:40You saw the pilot, wouldn't you?
35:44We have a few questions for you, Miss Jennings.
35:46About Rachel Woodrow, spending her leisure time bowing down before Beelzebub?
35:52You knew all along.
35:54When I worked for her, I thought she was the devil.
35:58I just found the truth out when reporters started calling about three hours ago.
36:03Fifteen minutes after I told Jackson Burley.
36:05It's a small-town detective. No secret lasts for long.
36:09Especially if it's faxed in the form of script notes.
36:14That is your fax number, isn't it?
36:17The show, based on those notes, caused Rachel's fatal heart attack.
36:22If I'd known Rachel was a Satanist, I wouldn't have to kill her to get this job.
36:29I could have called entertainment tonight.
36:32Unless you really hated her.
36:34Especially if I really hated her.
36:38You can give me that steely cop stare all you want, detective.
36:41It's not going to change the fact that I didn't know.
36:43Rachel barely trusted me with ratings, let alone her deepest secret.
36:48You didn't have to.
36:51This room's bugged.
36:52The hottest story in primetime is full of bizarre twists, mysterious betrayals, and satanic rituals.
37:00But don't turn on your TV looking for it.
37:03This isn't fiction.
37:05It's what's happening behind the scenes of network television.
37:08Everyone is talking about fifth-place network NBC,
37:12which is reeling from the revelation that the Nets' late president, Rachel Woodrell,
37:17was a Satan worshiper and may have been murdered.
37:21What was your relationship with Rachel Woodrell?
37:24Yeah, it's painful to talk about it, but she wanted me to do a buddy cop show called Siamese Cop.
37:29But there was no way I was going to spend five years sharing a suit with Scott Baio.
37:34Were you surprised to find out about her secret past?
37:37Well, I think it explains how the Anson Williams show got on the air.
37:41What do you think about the scandal?
37:42An urge towards Satanism is much like any other antisocial behavior,
37:48a rebellion against the status quo,
37:52a way to say, look at me, I'm different.
37:57Can a Satan worshiper make it as a network executive?
38:01The network president is a Satanist?
38:04Someone murders her with a pilot?
38:07Sounds like a great TV movie.
38:08You know, people have said that I look just like him.
38:13Well, this mystery just continues to grow and grow.
38:18Kim, do you have anything to grow?
38:19How bad is it out there?
38:21Oh, let's just say there's sometimes I'm really glad I'm not in the executive suite.
38:26I tell you, that's the one good thing about this job.
38:28Nobody ever blames the guy in the mail.
38:30No.
38:32You think so?
38:34Is that the 6.30 delivery?
38:37Uh-huh.
38:38It is now 7.15.
38:40Wait another 10 minutes before you deliver it,
38:42and then see if nobody ever blames the guy in the mail room.
38:55Mail!
39:00If I had any idea she was so troubled, I never would have offered her the job.
39:21Did Paige ever mention suicide?
39:23Well, she once said she'd rather be dead than work with Tom Arnold again,
39:28but other than that, I never heard anything.
39:30So you have no idea why she would have killed herself?
39:33Job stress?
39:35I'm telling you, running a major network is probably the most stressful job in the world.
39:40I can see how watching TV all day would be tougher than police work or emergency medicine.
39:45Just because the product is entertainment doesn't mean the stakes aren't high.
39:48Every decision can mean millions of dollars.
39:51And because there are no objective measures of quality in this industry,
39:55you never know if you've lost the touch.
39:59Did Paige?
40:02We'll never know.
40:04Personally, I think she had.
40:06I mean, honestly, guys, if you're gonna pick up a show like Sexual Surrogate,
40:15isn't it much smarter to put it up against a show like Touched by an Angel?
40:20Give the audience a clear choice.
40:22Look at this.
40:23Her Saturday night programs are hopelessly incompatible.
40:27And the woman did not have a clue how to fight the other network's sitcoms.
40:31What would you have done in her place?
40:33Well, first...
40:34Maybe we could arrange the schedule after we determine why Paige Jennings killed herself?
40:39She didn't, unless she tied the computer cord around her neck,
40:42jumped off the desk, and knocked herself out with a blunt object.
40:46Well, that would mean that it's murder.
40:49And maybe this is why.
40:50This is why.
40:54So Paige playing with the bugs.
41:03How long have you been listening to those tapes?
41:05What?
41:07Oh.
41:09All night long.
41:11I couldn't stop.
41:13This is compelling stuff in here.
41:15Drama, intrigue, sex...
41:17Sex?
41:18Oh, lots of it.
41:19Most of it's Paige's office, and mostly with Jackson Burley.
41:22Why would she bug her own office?
41:24I don't know.
41:25Why did Nixon?
41:27I betcha his tapes aren't nearly as entertaining.
41:29But just as full of conspiracies and cover-ups and secrets.
41:33Paige had the dirt on every executive in that building.
41:36Well, now we know how she rose from the mail room so fast.
41:39Unfortunately, it doesn't narrow down our list of suspects any.
41:42There were at least a dozen people in there with a motive to kill her.
41:44And I haven't even finished listening to the tape yet.
41:49Lieutenant Frankencombe comes to arrest the psycho killer.
41:53But what he discovers is that he's got this guy's brother's spleen smoldering in his gut.
42:00The story arc is, how does a cop deal with having a homicidal maniac's internal organs?
42:07I can't tell you how many times that's happened to me.
42:12Well, we don't need another story consultant.
42:14Well, you may need a legal one.
42:16You were sleeping with Paige Jennings.
42:18Well, of course. I mean, she was beautiful.
42:23And she could greenlight development projects.
42:26And when Paige moved into Rachel's place, she had the power to pick up your show and save your studio.
42:32But she didn't do it.
42:37Keep cranking, guys. I'll be right back.
42:39Hey, we're making the natives nervous.
42:49They think there are no coconuts up in the trees.
42:51They're going to want to move to another village.
42:54Losing your studio can be a powerful motive for murder.
42:56And don't talk to me about motives, either.
42:58I've written more cop shows than anybody.
43:00And I couldn't have hung Paige.
43:04I've had carpal tunnel syndrome.
43:09Every word I type says price and gain.
43:16Check my medical records.
43:28What do you think about Dr. Doolittle as a private eye who hires animals as his secret operatives?
43:42It's horrible.
43:44Well, Rachel Woodrow ordered 13 episodes if she could get Chad Everett.
43:49Well, maybe she was killed by viewers for quality television.
43:52I've heard of more. It's the last shape.
43:54And?
43:55One's missing.
43:56How do you know?
43:59Karen DeNino told you she talked to Rachel in her office about their satanic past?
44:04Tape isn't there.
44:06Why would Paige keep the tapes on everybody, including her own lovemaking with Jackson Burley
44:12and not the one that mattered most?
44:14Yeah.
44:15And something else bothers me.
44:17As Paige said, if she knew about Rachel's secret, she'd just, uh, release it to the press.
44:21I mean, why go to all the trouble of scaring her to death?
44:23Paige's always used what she knew against people, how she rose so fast at NBC.
44:29You know that missing tape?
44:31What if she never had it?
44:33I don't follow you.
44:34Well, what if she wasn't the one who bugged the office?
44:37What if somebody gave her the tapes?
44:39I mean, someone with his or her own agenda to have Rachel's dad and Paige in her place.
44:43Yeah, and Paige has reneged on a deal somehow.
44:47Yeah, but who?
44:48We're no closer to the killer than we were before.
44:51What do these two murders have in common?
44:54Two beautiful women who started at the bottom and ended up running a network.
44:58And that's how we're going to flush out this killer.
45:00Well done.
45:01See you tomorrow then.
45:03What?
45:04Oh, I don't know.
45:06I just hate to leave this place.
45:09Is your home life that trouble, son?
45:10Oh, no.
45:11It's just I'm learning so much here that I feel like every second away is wasted time.
45:16The network is a vast and complex creature, Jesse.
45:17It takes years just to realize how much you have to learn.
45:18Mastering it is the work of a lifetime.
45:19I don't know.
45:20I don't know.
45:21I don't know.
45:22I just hate to leave this place.
45:23Is your home life that trouble, son?
45:26Oh, no.
45:27It's just I'm learning so much here that I feel like every second away is wasted time.
45:33The network is a vast and complex creature, Jesse.
45:37It takes years just to realize how much you have to learn.
45:41Mastering it is the work of a lifetime.
45:44All right.
45:47Mr. Everest.
45:49Is everything all right?
45:50Well, I hope so.
45:52How do you know we need a new vice president to develop?
45:55And you've come to warn us to expect a flood of resumes.
45:58Last time a job like this opened up, four male boys got hernias.
46:03Well, actually, we're not going to be reading resumes this time.
46:07You know, I need someone who's got their finger on the pulse of the youth culture,
46:12yet at the same time instinctively understands the medium.
46:16I'll do anything I can to help, sir.
46:19Good.
46:20Because I feel really bad taking such a bright young assistant away from you.
46:24How would you like to be the new vice president of development?
46:31Mansect.
46:32What is that?
46:33Look, I don't think being half man, half moth really gives the guy that many special powers.
46:47No, I don't care if it is Greg Evigan.
46:51Okay.
46:52Lunch at Laguerre.
46:53You got it.
46:54Bye-bye.
46:56Mandy, how goes the medical biz, huh?
46:59Let's talk while we eat.
47:00I'm starving.
47:01Sorry.
47:02No time.
47:03Didn't my girl call your girl?
47:05I don't have a girl.
47:08You should get one.
47:09They're great.
47:10Look at this mess, huh?
47:12I got Bochco at one, Spelling at two, Pauly Shore at three.
47:16Aren't you forgetting someone?
47:20Chad Everett, 2.30.
47:22I'm talking about your father.
47:24You're supposed to be with him today.
47:26Mandy, I can catch salmon any day of the week.
47:29How often do I get to spend my vacation programming a network?
47:33My father likes something.
47:36My father didn't program a network.
47:38No, but he always found a good excuse for not seeing you, and I bet you promised that you'd never be the same way.
47:44This is different.
47:47Amanda.
47:49Derek, my buddy.
47:51It's Jesse.
47:52Oh, my good friend.
47:53Do I have a script for you?
47:56One minute, go.
47:58I like to call it Dr. Danger.
48:01He listens to their hearts with a stethoscope.
48:04He answers their cry for vengeance with his .357.
48:08It needs work.
48:10What kind of work?
48:11Well, I see Dr. Danger as a young resident.
48:15Witty, charming, irresistible to the chicks.
48:20What about the doctor and his son the cop?
48:23Huh. What about them?
48:25Mail!
48:26Uh, you know, Harry, why don't you just put the scripts on the floor there and put the mail in my girl's basket outside?
48:34I'd like to talk to you.
48:36You know, I'd love to talk to you, Harry, but right now I'm in the middle of a pitch, so...
48:41I got a five-minute window at four.
48:49What is it with mailmen do I call the rest?
48:53You all start in my mailroom, you all go to the top, and did any of you ever bring me with you?
49:00Harry, I've had this job for three hours. I mean, give me a chance.
49:04I've been here thirty years waiting to be noticed, stuck in that windowless pit.
49:09You've been here two days. Two days! That BP strikes in a corner office.
49:16Hold it, Harry.
49:18Just what I thought.
49:22You taught Rachel everything you knew, thinking she'd get you out of that mailroom.
49:26When she didn't, then you pinned your hopes on page.
49:29I did everything I could for her.
49:31You bogged all the offices to give her the dirt she needed to get ahead.
49:35You even had Rachel removed by faking the faxes to Jackson Burley so he'd dramatize her secret.
49:43So his promotion...
49:46It was just a trick?
49:48I'd say so.
49:50I figured if we promoted somebody with no experience and no talent, you'd crack.
49:56Man, thanks a lot.
49:57Put the gun down, Harry.
50:00I hate television.
50:03You have the right to remain silent.
50:05Anything you say can't and won't be used against you.
50:07So how did you know it was him?
50:09Well, whoever bugged the executive suite,
50:12was the right thing.
50:14I don't know.
50:15I don't know.
50:16I don't know.
50:17I don't know.
50:18I don't know.
50:19I don't know.
50:20I don't know.
50:21I don't know.
50:22I don't know.
50:23I don't know.
50:24Well, whoever bugged the executive suite and intercepted all of Rachel's faxes had to be somebody who had access to every office.
50:32And that was just Harry.
50:34And working with him in the mailroom was the only connection between Rachel and Paige.
50:39Brilliant.
50:40You think that was good?
50:42Wait till you see next week's episode.
50:45I call it Dr. Danger.
50:50Jesse, I didn't mean to say you didn't have any talent.
50:52It's okay.
50:53It's okay.
50:55So you want to see my phone line up?
51:00I call it Welcome Home.
51:09He knew about my secret past.
51:12As a call girl.
51:13My affair with his brother.
51:14And the forged checks.
51:15I had to kill him, Doctor.
51:16But you would have gotten away with it, too.
51:17If only you hadn't polished your fingernails.
51:19Read her her rights.
51:20No.
51:21Make sure that she gets one of these pills.
51:22Three times, Bailey.
51:23No.
51:24No.
51:25No.
51:26No.
51:27No.
51:28No.
51:29No.
51:30No.
51:31No.
51:32No.
51:33No.
51:34No.
51:35No.
51:36No.
51:37No.
51:38No.
51:39No.
51:40It'll never work.
51:43No.
Recommended
50:44
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