"Hooves of Fire" is one of three animated BBC Christmas comedy television specials, filmed using stop motion techniques, and presented in 1999 in aid of Comic Relief.
Running time: 33 minutes
Initial DVD release: November 3, 2005 (Hungary)
Narrators: Robbie Williams, James Woods
Episode no: Season 1; Episode 1
Running time: 33 minutes
Initial DVD release: November 3, 2005 (Hungary)
Narrators: Robbie Williams, James Woods
Episode no: Season 1; Episode 1
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Our story begins in the north, north of the Northlands, and the coldest North-Eastlands.
00:12Even norther than that.
00:16There, called Chester, the town at the North Pole.
00:20She can probably tell it's August.
00:23And at the North Pole, August is when the bus comes.
00:30There you go!
00:44Takes a bunch.
00:55Yeah!
00:57Whee!
01:00Uh-oh.
01:05What is that?
01:09It's a... um... it's a thing.
01:12It must be the last of some rare and endangered species.
01:15Cool! Let's kill it!
01:17Prancer, no!
01:19No!
01:21Hello. Call me Robbie.
01:23Because I am.
01:24Of course. We've been expecting you.
01:26I am Blitzen.
01:28Any problems, come and see me.
01:30If you don't have any problems, see me anyway.
01:33And we'll celebrate your lack of problems.
01:36And this is Prancer.
01:38Whee! Robbie!
01:40This is Vixen.
01:42Charmed, I'm sure.
01:43This is... the rest.
01:45Hello.
01:46Welcome aboard.
01:47How are you doing?
01:48Hello, Robbie.
01:49And together, we are...
01:50The Slate Team!
01:54So, come to join the team like your old dad did.
02:00Yeah.
02:01The boss wanted a navigator.
02:03I can find my way anywhere with this nose.
02:05It's great.
02:06Splendid.
02:07Let's see it in action.
02:09Okay, Robbie.
02:11Where is...
02:12Paris?
02:16Egypt?
02:19Those posh yogurts I bought just for me.
02:24Hey!
02:25I knew it.
02:26This is going to be a huge laugh.
02:27Oh.
02:28One thing.
02:29I know what we'll be doing for one day of the year.
02:31But what do we do the other 364 days?
02:34Huh?
02:35Well, we...
02:36Sort of like that.
02:39Oh.
02:40I was expecting it to be more sort of...
02:46Maybe a bit of...
02:51Sorry, Robbie, but it's definitely...
02:55Right.
02:56When is the next bus out?
02:58Uh...
02:59April.
03:02Training it is then.
03:04So, pulling the sleigh, Donna.
03:06Is it a laugh?
03:07I don't pull the sleigh.
03:09I'm a support crew.
03:11There's a reindeer to do physio.
03:13A reindeer to cook.
03:14A reindeer to wash up.
03:16And all of those reindeer are me.
03:18Robbie, if you're not into exercise,
03:20what on earth are you doing here?
03:22My dad sent me really character building.
03:24Apparently, I'm easily distracted, but I really...
03:26Whoa, whoa, whoa!
03:27She is nice, isn't she?
03:28Mmm.
03:29Vixen.
03:30Vixen.
03:31This is your room.
03:32Bit small, but so are you.
03:33Mmm.
03:34Coming soon, the reindeer game.
03:35Most a bit more.
03:36Wanted by...
03:37Hey!
03:38Move that left ankle out a bit.
03:39The official snack food of the reindeer game.
03:40Hold it there.
03:42I was watching that.
03:43Vixen, pardon sir.
03:44We've got a new reindeer in the ranks today,
03:46and he might find it hard to settle in.
03:48So, as senior reindeer, I'd like you to help me make it hell for him.
04:05Let's crush him, trample him to dust, then throw the remains of the dust to the wolves,
04:11then blow up the wolves.
04:14You don't like him, do you?
04:15Not especially, no.
04:16Ah, this is about his dad, isn't it?
04:19I've been captain of the sleigh team for years,
04:21but Robbie's dad, he's still the famous one.
04:24Do children sing a song about me?
04:25No.
04:26Am I on the magazines?
04:27No.
04:28Do I endorse carpet cleaner?
04:29No.
04:30No.
04:31No, just because he saved the day for the boss one time,
04:34and now he's sent his son,
04:35Ooh-hoo, I'm Robbie.
04:37I've got a magic nose, ache and feign to me, we're here.
04:40At least Robbie's dad got out of this frozen hole.
04:42He was a smart reindeer that...
04:44Oh, no, no, no.
04:45I will not have that name set in my presence.
04:47Are you talking about...
04:48Er, German name, wasn't it?
04:50Er...
04:51I'll tell you what, it is a catchy song though, isn't it?
04:53A one.
04:54A two.
04:55Well, if I can't get him, I'll get his son.
05:00I will not sleep until I have destroyed Robbie.
05:12Hmm.
05:15Think...
05:16evil.
05:23Enjoy training, Robbie.
05:24I don't really have to do this, do I?
05:31I mean, I'm just the navigator.
05:32I don't need to be fit.
05:34Can't we just have the day off and slob around
05:37and eat toast in our pants?
05:39What's this for?
05:42Ah, that's better.
05:44Robbie!
05:45Look, I found the downhill setting.
05:47Whee!
05:48Robbie, even if you're the navigator, you still have to be fit.
05:51If you don't get fit, then...
05:54Ah.
05:56Got it.
05:57Robbie!
05:58Why don't you just carry on as you are?
06:00Have a paper.
06:01Have a pipe.
06:02Have a cheeseburger.
06:04And large fries.
06:07Cheers, Blitzen.
06:08You're a pal.
06:09Keep coasting.
06:13Next!
06:14Ooh.
06:15I don't know about this fitness, Lark Donner.
06:16I've been here a month and I've decided strength isn't really my strength.
06:19Can you just loosen my neck a little?
06:21Sure.
06:29I just can't concentrate on the exercise.
06:33I've met a very special reindeer and I can't stop thinking about her.
06:36Robbie, I didn't know you felt that way too because, well, no one usually notices me and I...
06:41She's so beautiful and she's so graceful and she's called...
06:44Vixen.
06:45Vixen.
06:46Yeah, yeah.
06:47Wonderful Vixen.
06:48Isn't she lovely?
06:49Yeah.
06:50Can't seem to talk to her though.
06:51You see, I have this thing where I can't talk to girls if I love them.
06:53You can talk to me though.
06:54Of course I can.
06:55We're mates.
06:56Right.
06:57Donner!
06:58Donner!
06:59Donner!
07:00I'll open it.
07:01You are all invited to a soy.
07:08Soy?
07:09Soy-ri.
07:10Soy-riches.
07:11It's something French.
07:12Party at Beardy's house.
07:13Hooray!
07:14Hooray!
07:15Great!
07:16We are all invited to a soy.
07:18Soy?
07:19Soy-ri.
07:20Soy-riches.
07:21It's something French.
07:22Party at Beardy's house.
07:23Hooray!
07:24Hooray!
07:25Great!
07:26Weirdy Beardy throws wild parties and everyone who matters will be there.
07:31Oh, will they?
07:32Of course.
07:33I'm giving.
07:34Dearest, they're coming.
07:35I know.
07:36Just choose an outfit.
07:37What about this?
07:38It's modern.
07:39I still like the old red coat.
07:40I can't wear that to a party.
07:42Everybody's a party.
07:43It's a party at Beardy's house.
07:44Hooray!
07:45Hooray!
07:46Great!
07:47Weirdy Beardy throws wild parties and everyone who matters will be there.
07:49Oh, will they?
07:50Of course.
07:51I'm giving.
07:52Dearest, they're coming.
07:53I know.
07:54Just choose an outfit.
07:55A party?
07:56Everyone's seen it.
08:00Ho, ho.
08:01Ho, ho.
08:02Oh, you must be Robbie.
08:04Hello.
08:05Ho, ho, ho.
08:06Found your way all right?
08:07No problem.
08:08Look at you.
08:09I bet your trainer dead hard, eh?
08:10Well...
08:11Just like your dad always did.
08:12Oh, yes.
08:13Ha, ha, ha.
08:14You look good, do you?
08:15Just like your dad.
08:16Hey, hey.
08:17Not that you're in your dad's shadow.
08:18I won't keep banging on about your dad, you know.
08:20He's terrific, your dad.
08:22Hey, you know what?
08:23Your dad's right.
08:24He said to me.
08:25He said to me.
08:26He said to me.
08:27Put the barbecue on, love.
08:28Ho, ho.
08:29Ho, ho.
08:30Ho, ho.
08:31Ho, ho.
08:32Ho, ho.
08:33Nearly.
08:34Ho, ho.
08:35Ho, ho.
08:36Ho.
08:37Ho.
08:38Ho.
08:39Ho, ho.
08:40Ho, ho.
08:41Ho, ho.
08:42Ho, ho.
08:43Ho, ho.
08:44Ho, ho.
08:45Ho, ho.
08:46Ho, ho.
08:47Ho, ho.
08:48Ho, ho.
08:49Ho, ho.
08:50Ho, ho.
08:51Ho, ho.
08:52Ho, ho.
08:53Ho, ho.
08:54Ho, ho.
08:55Ho, ho.
08:56Ho, ho.
08:57Ho, ho.
08:58Ho, ho.
08:59Ho, ho.
09:00Ho, ho.
09:01Ho, ho.
09:02Ho, ho.
09:03Ho, ho.
09:04Ho, ho.
09:05Ho, ho.
09:06But it was all the money I had.
09:11Thank you, Seal.
09:13Is this a bit more me?
09:15Oh, oh.
09:16Now, now, I brought you all here
09:17because I've got something very exciting to show you.
09:20May I present the future of present delivery,
09:23Slay Mark II.
09:28I made the modifications myself.
09:30For long journeys, a stereo.
09:36And using the latest technology,
09:39an intelligent astray.
09:40Sounds about you very much.
09:43And there's one more thing, which was Blitzen's idea.
09:45So thank you, Blitzen.
09:47An automatic Slay navigation system.
09:49Oh, suppose that's me out of the team, then.
09:52Not necessarily, Robbie.
09:54Blitzen came up with a very fair way of deciding
09:57who we should leave behind.
09:59It'll be the reindeer who is most unfit.
10:06Well, Dad, I blew it.
10:17I could have got fit, but I was cocky and I was lazy.
10:21Sorry, Dad.
10:23I'll never be another Rue.
10:24Hush, child.
10:26No need to say such sad things.
10:29So come on, give Blitzen a smile.
10:32Do you know what I think?
10:33No, but I think the boss is going to take you on the sleigh anyway
10:37because he liked your dad.
10:40Oh.
10:40He'll kick off some other reindeer who's trained for it all year.
10:43Oh, dear.
10:44But that doesn't matter.
10:46And the sleigh will be slow and late,
10:47but no one will blame you.
10:49They'll blame your dad for having you.
10:52Oh, dear.
10:53And, of course, there will be little children
10:54who will wake up on Christmas morn
10:56and open their stockings with bright eyes
10:59and discover inside nothing.
11:02But their mummies will say,
11:04never mind.
11:05At least Robbie had a huge laugh.
11:08Thanks, Blitzen.
11:09You've opened my eyes.
11:11Robbie, no.
11:12I'm going outside.
11:14I may be sometime.
11:15Don't go.
11:17Robbie.
11:22It's a cold night, Blitzen.
11:24If only someone would stoke my fire.
11:27Well, it'd be rude not to.
11:31Christmas has arrived already.
11:35Only 5,000 miles to home.
11:39Have to raise spirits.
11:43Try whistling.
11:44Oh, hello.
11:58Hey.
11:59Dinner.
12:00Yes.
12:00Result.
12:06I like the crispy bit.
12:07Do it till it's crispy.
12:08Hope there's leftovers.
12:10We can make a curry.
12:11With mango chutney.
12:12Lovely.
12:13Oh, Louie.
12:13Oh, soup.
12:14Have some of that.
12:14Oh, he's alive.
12:19Can we eat him anyway?
12:21No.
12:22Off you go.
12:23No.
12:23Don't send me out there again.
12:25Can I stay?
12:26For a bit?
12:27Please.
12:28Oi, Antlers.
12:29Get back here.
12:30What are you doing?
12:31Wait.
12:31I could just hang with you elves.
12:33Hey, I'll help you make toys.
12:35I'm a very good worker.
12:37I really am really very good.
12:39Honest.
12:39Sort of.
12:40Want some for you?
12:48Want some for you too, because you're at work.
12:55Oh, this one?
12:57Hey, hey, bring on.
13:04Oh, I'm in control of the situation.
13:06Uh-oh.
13:14I love you.
13:17I love you.
13:19Ah!
13:20Sorry.
13:21But you brought me in the...
13:22Ah!
13:23Robbie, I don't think you're production line material.
13:27You're demoted to sweeping up.
13:28Robbie, what happened?
13:38I started sweeping, but then I found these bits of toys, and I thought, I know, I'll invent new toys.
13:43Look, Sebastian Mussel Whale.
13:45Do whales have arms?
13:47Sebastian's got three.
13:48He needs them to fight his arch enemy.
13:50Octo-monkey!
13:51I'll get you, Sebastian.
13:57Sorry, Robbie.
13:58I'll have to demote you again, lad.
14:00Oh?
14:00What could possibly be worse than sweeping up?
14:10These are the multi-gems you wanted, Miss Donner.
14:13Sign here, please.
14:13There's something familiar about that fortlift truck.
14:18Hello, Donner.
14:22I was a rubbish deer.
14:23I'm even a rubbish elf.
14:25I'm worse than rubbish.
14:26If you threw me on a rubbish tip, the other rubbish would say...
14:29There goes the neighbourhood.
14:32You're not finished yet, Robbie.
14:34I know a way you can get back on the sleigh team.
14:36How?
14:37Just before Christmas, there's a big sports tournament for reindeer.
14:41No, no, no, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
15:11Robbie, you can do this.
15:13It'll be tough.
15:14Yeah.
15:15But I'll help you.
15:16Yeah.
15:17I don't need to be a failure all my life.
15:19I'll actually make a go of it.
15:21For me, for my dad, and most of all, for Vixen.
15:25Beautiful Vixen.
15:26She's so lovely.
15:27She's got these eyes and lips and antlers.
15:31Vixen, Vixen, Vixen.
15:36You can't train with the other end, dear.
15:39Vixen will do anything to stop you winning.
15:41Oh, come on.
15:42He's my best friend.
15:43The noblest deer in the world.
15:46Have you ever been in Vixen's room?
15:50Well, no, but...
15:52There you go.
15:53I told you.
15:53He is my best friend.
15:54He's got a picture of me on...
15:55Oh.
15:57Take that, you red-handed pig.
16:00Oh, dear.
16:05Oh, dear.
16:05I say we bop him good.
16:09We'll need help.
16:11I locked in the phone book under wise old coaches who can save the day.
16:15And there's only one in the area.
16:16He's called Old Jingle.
16:19I've heard of Old Jingle.
16:20He was old when my dad was a kid.
16:22He can't still be around, can he?
16:23He is.
16:24And he lives somewhere on Pointy Mountain.
16:32Oh, dear.
16:33Ah, the visitor.
16:49Eh, hello.
16:51Is Old Jingle in?
16:53Please.
16:54Ah, let me think.
16:55Um.
16:57Ah, yes.
16:57Yes, I am.
16:58Yes, come in.
16:59Come in.
17:00Stay there.
17:01I'll put the kettle on.
17:03Well?
17:04I want you to train me, Mr. Old Jingle, sir, for the reindeer games.
17:08I don't train anyone.
17:10Old Jingle is retired, so...
17:12But you've got to take him off.
17:15Without your help, he'll never beat Blitzen.
17:18Blitzen?
17:19Is Blitzen involved in this?
17:21You know Blitzen?
17:22Never heard of him.
17:23But he's got to be stopped.
17:25What's your name?
17:26Robbie, sir.
17:27Well, Robbie Pugle, let's get down the hill and I'll see what you're made of.
17:31Don't get up.
17:33Jumping a little bit of cock.
17:36Ah, that's right.
17:38Oi!
17:38Yous are going to get a reach slap for that house.
17:44Hi-ya!
17:45Hoo-ha!
17:46So, Robbie Pugle, you want to be on the sleigh?
17:49Then you will enter only one event, the steeplechase.
17:52The boss man is always looking for fast hurdlers to don't to the rooftops.
17:55To get on the sleigh, win the steeplechase.
18:02Go!
18:03Get busy.
18:04That's work.
18:06Get busy.
18:08Take them out.
18:10Get busy.
18:12That's work.
18:13Get busy.
18:15Your nose is a great ally, Robbie Pugle.
18:20Bounce with your nose.
18:2430, 40, 50, 60, 70, 70.
18:27Trust your nose.
18:29I don't think so.
18:32Oh, forget it. Bet my dad could have done it.
18:46You can be as good as your dad, Robbie Pupil. You think him perfect. No one is. He's just a man like all of us.
18:54Um, actually, we're all reindeer.
18:56Oh, that explains a lot. These for a start. And why they never let me become Pope.
19:02You can be as good as your dad, Robbie Pupil.
19:0749, 50, 51, 52.
19:14Come on! Come on!
19:17Oh, Jingle will watch you win tomorrow. Remember, Robbie Pupil, stick to good food. You are what you eat.
19:35Mm-mm. Nuts.
19:36Thanks, old Jingle.
19:37This is a much better spot for a house. I'd have to be raving mad to push my house back up the hill.
19:49One day, I will be too old to do this. But that day will not come for...
19:56House down there. Sliding down a hill, Alan.
20:03Oh, er, right. I'm Des Yeti. And this is, er, Alan's snowman.
20:08Welcome to the Reindeer Games.
20:11Sponsored by Hed, the official snack build of the Reindeer Games.
20:15And the opening ceremony, er, as you can see, is already underway.
20:20There's a little reindeer there, symbolising hope for the future of reindeer.
20:26And, er, a reindeer there with a big head, symbolising...
20:30Things with big heads.
20:31Probably.
20:32Thanks, Alan.
20:33Prancer, there.
20:36I'm sure you recognise him.
20:38And, of course, Santa, there.
20:40Retro chic.
20:41Not retro chic enough.
20:43Fashion victim.
20:44And here now come the three ten-tonners.
21:01So, on with the games.
21:02Now, the question everyone's asking, of course, is which reindeer will be the star?
21:07Glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, gl
21:37Of course, the most important event is still to come, the steeplechase.
21:41That's right, it is. The steeplechase. Thanks, Alan.
21:45Now, we've got a late entrant.
21:47Robbie Hawkins.
21:49Seems to have some kind of a big red nose by the look of things.
21:54Well, you were talking about little Robbie there, it is.
21:56The son, of course, of...
21:57Don't say that name.
22:06Oh, my word.
22:07My baby!
22:11Look at that little reindeer go.
22:13Well.
22:17I thought I'd got rid of him.
22:21Thanks, Robbie. You saved his life.
22:25Robbie, I thought you were ever so ace.
22:29The little...
22:30I'll have it.
22:32Robbie, let's not beat about the bush.
22:35You love me, you'll do anything to please me.
22:37I don't want you to run in the steeplechase.
22:39There, that's sorted out. Must go.
22:41Sorry, Vixen. I'm going to run and try to win and everything.
22:44No, no. How it works is, Blitzen wins, he gets famous, he gets me out of this dive...
22:49You spoke to me.
22:51Robbie, you can't speak to me because you love me so much.
22:53What are you up to?
22:54I grew up. Now I can talk to anyone I like.
22:57Robbie, you're all set.
22:59You have no taste.
23:04Robbie, what's the matter?
23:06What's the matter, Ernie?
23:09Robbie, all Jingle's trapped under his house.
23:11I can't lift it, Robbie.
23:13All runners, assemble for the steeplechase.
23:17Robbie, what are we going to do?
23:19Hang on, old Jingle. I'm coming.
23:22Well, the little reindeer's actually running out of the stadium.
23:25He'll never win a race, are we, Tis?
23:27That's inexperience.
23:32Old Jingle, talk to me.
23:34Too heavy. I need something to wedge underneath.
23:41Sebastian, it's not enough.
23:45Octomonkey.
23:51Everything's going to be all right now, old Jingle.
23:54See? Kid's strong. Very strong.
23:58Jingle.
23:59Farewell, Robbie friend.
24:02Jingle.
24:02Goodbye.
24:08Jingle?
24:10Now, when does this race start?
24:14Well, run!
24:18And Blitzen takes the early lead,
24:21Subobb.
24:22And it seems, Alan,
24:24that fears about France's war
24:26have been realised.
24:29There we are.
24:30Yeah.
24:31Look at that.
24:32Blitzen's way out in front now.
24:44Robbie!
24:45Well, number five and a half
24:48has finally, uh, started the race.
24:50You know, the guy's in Norfolk it is.
24:52He's three laps behind.
24:53Yeah, OK, Al, but I think you'll find, uh,
24:56it's just become two laps.
24:57In fact, Robbie now just one lap behind.
25:02Come on!
25:03Come on!
25:05Come on!
25:05Come on!
25:06Robbie and Blitzen are neck and neck, and, uh...
25:09Still don't get it, do you?
25:10What a marvellous sporting occasion this is turning out to be.
25:13This is for you.
25:15And this is for Daddy.
25:25Robbie!
25:26The nose jump!
25:28The nose jump, Robbie!
25:30The nose jump!
25:32Use the nose jump!
25:35And, uh, it's a photo finish there, between those two.
25:56Robbie!
25:57I'm proud of you.
25:59I always want you to know that.
26:05You know, I always said it, didn't I, Dez?
26:07Little Robbie.
26:09Brilliant.
26:09Can't remember you saying that, Alan.
26:11So, uh, don't make me get out the old three-bar fire.
26:14Oh, come on.
26:16I always said it.
26:18Little Robbie, he is...
26:20I'll never say it.
26:22I'm a big snowman liar.
26:23OK, come on!
26:25And the winner, by the nose, is...
26:29Blitzen.
26:32Yes!
26:33Well done!
26:35I need to know something.
26:38Can you not talk to me because you love me?
26:41Or because you've just been trampled by a herd of reindeer?
26:45Oh, shut up and come here!
26:50Yippee!
26:51She loves me!
26:52Yippee!
26:53Yippee!
26:53And, incredibly, Robbie is now beating all the records for every event.
27:01Yippee!
27:02Yippee!
27:03He's got no medals, but, uh, the people love him.
27:07Yippee!
27:07Ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:08Will you marry me?
27:09Of course I will, you crazy fool!
27:16Oh, look, there's Robbie's dad!
27:18Aw, thanks, Dad.
27:22You, sir, are cheap.
27:23Time to give a sample, Mr. Blitzen.
27:26Incidentally, you are shocked.
27:29You're shocked.
27:30Yippee!
27:31Yippee!
27:31Yippee!
27:32Now that is you.
27:34Never let a sleigh before, Robbie?
27:37Who do you mean, oh?
27:38Well, you'd better get some practising, eh?
27:40Here.
27:42It's yours for the night.
27:43Yippee!
27:44Yippee!
27:45Yippee!
27:45Taking a ride
27:48To the other side
27:52Of the moon
27:54Of the moon
27:57Take it for me
28:03It's the best bit to see
28:07Off the moon
28:09Of the moon
28:12Ooh, whiskey
28:13Now the work is done
28:19Now the race is run
28:23Now the games are won
28:27Not a day too soon
28:30Not a day too low
28:31But it's still
28:31That's alright
28:33Once again
28:34Who's gone
28:35Know
28:36?
28:37What the hell
28:37This
28:38Is
28:38thiers
28:39Now the
28:42We'll
28:43Get
28:43You
28:43Was
28:45week
28:46And
28:47Usually
28:48You
28:49Are
28:49aju
28:58Ho, ho, ho!