- 9 months ago
"Hooves of Fire" is one of three animated BBC Christmas comedy television specials, filmed using stop motion techniques, and presented in 1999 in aid of Comic Relief.
Running time: 33 minutes
Initial DVD release: November 3, 2005 (Hungary)
Narrators: Robbie Williams, James Woods
Episode no: Season 1; Episode 1
Running time: 33 minutes
Initial DVD release: November 3, 2005 (Hungary)
Narrators: Robbie Williams, James Woods
Episode no: Season 1; Episode 1
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00Our story begins in the north, north of the Northlands, and the coldest North-Eastlands.
00:12Even norther than that.
00:16There, called Chester, the town at the North Pole.
00:20She can probably tell it's August.
00:23And at the North Pole, August is when the bus comes.
00:30There you go!
00:44Takes a bunch.
00:55Yeah!
00:57Whee!
01:00Uh-oh.
01:05What is that?
01:09It's a... um... it's a thing.
01:12It must be the last of some rare and endangered species.
01:15Cool! Let's kill it!
01:17Prancer, no!
01:19No!
01:21Hello. Call me Robbie.
01:23Because I am.
01:24Of course. We've been expecting you.
01:26I am Blitzen.
01:28Any problems, come and see me.
01:30If you don't have any problems, see me anyway.
01:33And we'll celebrate your lack of problems.
01:36And this is Prancer.
01:38Whee! Robbie!
01:40This is Vixen.
01:42Charmed, I'm sure.
01:43This is... the rest.
01:45Hello.
01:46Welcome aboard.
01:47How are you doing?
01:48Hello, Robbie.
01:49And together, we are...
01:50The Slate Team!
01:54So, come to join the team like your old dad did.
02:00Yeah.
02:01The boss wanted a navigator.
02:03I can find my way anywhere with this nose.
02:05It's great.
02:06Splendid.
02:07Let's see it in action.
02:09Okay, Robbie.
02:11Where is...
02:12Paris?
02:16Egypt?
02:19Those posh yogurts I bought just for me.
02:24Hey!
02:25I knew it.
02:26This is going to be a huge laugh.
02:27Oh.
02:28One thing.
02:29I know what we'll be doing for one day of the year.
02:31But what do we do the other 364 days?
02:34Huh?
02:35Well, we...
02:36Sort of like that.
02:39Oh.
02:40I was expecting it to be more sort of...
02:46Maybe a bit of...
02:51Sorry, Robbie, but it's definitely...
02:55Right.
02:56When is the next bus out?
02:58Uh...
02:59April.
03:02Training it is then.
03:04So, pulling the sleigh, Donna.
03:06Is it a laugh?
03:07I don't pull the sleigh.
03:09I'm a support crew.
03:11There's a reindeer to do physio.
03:13A reindeer to cook.
03:14A reindeer to wash up.
03:16And all of those reindeer are me.
03:18Robbie, if you're not into exercise,
03:20what on earth are you doing here?
03:22My dad sent me really character building.
03:24Apparently, I'm easily distracted, but I really...
03:26Whoa, whoa, whoa!
03:27She is nice, isn't she?
03:28Mmm.
03:29Vixen.
03:30Vixen.
03:31This is your room.
03:32Bit small, but so are you.
03:33Mmm.
03:34Coming soon, the reindeer game.
03:35Most a bit more.
03:36Wanted by...
03:37Hey!
03:38Move that left ankle out a bit.
03:39The official snack food of the reindeer game.
03:40Hold it there.
03:42I was watching that.
03:43Vixen, pardon sir.
03:44We've got a new reindeer in the ranks today,
03:46and he might find it hard to settle in.
03:48So, as senior reindeer, I'd like you to help me make it hell for him.
04:05Let's crush him, trample him to dust, then throw the remains of the dust to the wolves,
04:11then blow up the wolves.
04:14You don't like him, do you?
04:15Not especially, no.
04:16Ah, this is about his dad, isn't it?
04:19I've been captain of the sleigh team for years,
04:21but Robbie's dad, he's still the famous one.
04:24Do children sing a song about me?
04:25No.
04:26Am I on the magazines?
04:27No.
04:28Do I endorse carpet cleaner?
04:29No.
04:30No.
04:31No, just because he saved the day for the boss one time,
04:34and now he's sent his son,
04:35Ooh-hoo, I'm Robbie.
04:37I've got a magic nose, ache and feign to me, we're here.
04:40At least Robbie's dad got out of this frozen hole.
04:42He was a smart reindeer that...
04:44Oh, no, no, no.
04:45I will not have that name set in my presence.
04:47Are you talking about...
04:48Er, German name, wasn't it?
04:50Er...
04:51I'll tell you what, it is a catchy song though, isn't it?
04:53A one.
04:54A two.
04:55Well, if I can't get him, I'll get his son.
05:00I will not sleep until I have destroyed Robbie.
05:12Hmm.
05:15Think...
05:16evil.
05:23Enjoy training, Robbie.
05:24I don't really have to do this, do I?
05:31I mean, I'm just the navigator.
05:32I don't need to be fit.
05:34Can't we just have the day off and slob around
05:37and eat toast in our pants?
05:39What's this for?
05:42Ah, that's better.
05:44Robbie!
05:45Look, I found the downhill setting.
05:47Whee!
05:48Robbie, even if you're the navigator, you still have to be fit.
05:51If you don't get fit, then...
05:54Ah.
05:56Got it.
05:57Robbie!
05:58Why don't you just carry on as you are?
06:00Have a paper.
06:01Have a pipe.
06:02Have a cheeseburger.
06:04And large fries.
06:07Cheers, Blitzen.
06:08You're a pal.
06:09Keep coasting.
06:13Next!
06:14Ooh.
06:15I don't know about this fitness, Lark Donner.
06:16I've been here a month and I've decided strength isn't really my strength.
06:19Can you just loosen my neck a little?
06:21Sure.
06:29I just can't concentrate on the exercise.
06:33I've met a very special reindeer and I can't stop thinking about her.
06:36Robbie, I didn't know you felt that way too because, well, no one usually notices me and I...
06:41She's so beautiful and she's so graceful and she's called...
06:44Vixen.
06:45Vixen.
06:46Yeah, yeah.
06:47Wonderful Vixen.
06:48Isn't she lovely?
06:49Yeah.
06:50Can't seem to talk to her though.
06:51You see, I have this thing where I can't talk to girls if I love them.
06:53You can talk to me though.
06:54Of course I can.
06:55We're mates.
06:56Right.
06:57Donner!
06:58Donner!
06:59Donner!
07:00I'll open it.
07:01You are all invited to a soy.
07:08Soy?
07:09Soy-ri.
07:10Soy-riches.
07:11It's something French.
07:12Party at Beardy's house.
07:13Hooray!
07:14Hooray!
07:15Great!
07:16We are all invited to a soy.
07:18Soy?
07:19Soy-ri.
07:20Soy-riches.
07:21It's something French.
07:22Party at Beardy's house.
07:23Hooray!
07:24Hooray!
07:25Great!
07:26Weirdy Beardy throws wild parties and everyone who matters will be there.
07:31Oh, will they?
07:32Of course.
07:33I'm giving.
07:34Dearest, they're coming.
07:35I know.
07:36Just choose an outfit.
07:37What about this?
07:38It's modern.
07:39I still like the old red coat.
07:40I can't wear that to a party.
07:42Everybody's a party.
07:43It's a party at Beardy's house.
07:44Hooray!
07:45Hooray!
07:46Great!
07:47Weirdy Beardy throws wild parties and everyone who matters will be there.
07:49Oh, will they?
07:50Of course.
07:51I'm giving.
07:52Dearest, they're coming.
07:53I know.
07:54Just choose an outfit.
07:55A party?
07:56Everyone's seen it.
08:00Ho, ho.
08:01Ho, ho.
08:02Oh, you must be Robbie.
08:04Hello.
08:05Ho, ho, ho.
08:06Found your way all right?
08:07No problem.
08:08Look at you.
08:09I bet your trainer dead hard, eh?
08:10Well...
08:11Just like your dad always did.
08:12Oh, yes.
08:13Ha, ha, ha.
08:14You look good, do you?
08:15Just like your dad.
08:16Hey, hey.
08:17Not that you're in your dad's shadow.
08:18I won't keep banging on about your dad, you know.
08:20He's terrific, your dad.
08:22Hey, you know what?
08:23Your dad's right.
08:24He said to me.
08:25He said to me.
08:26He said to me.
08:27Put the barbecue on, love.
08:28Ho, ho.
08:29Ho, ho.
08:30Ho, ho.
08:31Ho, ho.
08:32Ho, ho.
08:33Nearly.
08:34Ho, ho.
08:35Ho, ho.
08:36Ho.
08:37Ho.
08:38Ho.
08:39Ho, ho.
08:40Ho, ho.
08:41Ho, ho.
08:42Ho, ho.
08:43Ho, ho.
08:44Ho, ho.
08:45Ho, ho.
08:46Ho, ho.
08:47Ho, ho.
08:48Ho, ho.
08:49Ho, ho.
08:50Ho, ho.
08:51Ho, ho.
08:52Ho, ho.
08:53Ho, ho.
08:54Ho, ho.
08:55Ho, ho.
08:56Ho, ho.
08:57Ho, ho.
08:58Ho, ho.
08:59Ho, ho.
09:00Ho, ho.
09:01Ho, ho.
09:02Ho, ho.
09:03Ho, ho.
09:04Ho, ho.
09:05Ho, ho.
09:06But it was all the money I had.
09:11Thank you, Seal.
09:13Is this a bit more me?
09:15Oh, oh.
09:16Now, now, I brought you all here
09:17because I've got something very exciting to show you.
09:20May I present the future of present delivery,
09:23Slay Mark II.
09:28I made the modifications myself.
09:30For long journeys, a stereo.
09:36And using the latest technology,
09:39an intelligent astray.
09:40Sounds about you very much.
09:43And there's one more thing, which was Blitzen's idea.
09:45So thank you, Blitzen.
09:47An automatic Slay navigation system.
09:49Oh, suppose that's me out of the team, then.
09:52Not necessarily, Robbie.
09:54Blitzen came up with a very fair way of deciding
09:57who we should leave behind.
09:59It'll be the reindeer who is most unfit.
10:06Well, Dad, I blew it.
10:17I could have got fit, but I was cocky and I was lazy.
10:21Sorry, Dad.
10:23I'll never be another Rue.
10:24Hush, child.
10:26No need to say such sad things.
10:29So come on, give Blitzen a smile.
10:32Do you know what I think?
10:33No, but I think the boss is going to take you on the sleigh anyway
10:37because he liked your dad.
10:40Oh.
10:40He'll kick off some other reindeer who's trained for it all year.
10:43Oh, dear.
10:44But that doesn't matter.
10:46And the sleigh will be slow and late,
10:47but no one will blame you.
10:49They'll blame your dad for having you.
10:52Oh, dear.
10:53And, of course, there will be little children
10:54who will wake up on Christmas morn
10:56and open their stockings with bright eyes
10:59and discover inside nothing.
11:02But their mummies will say,
11:04never mind.
11:05At least Robbie had a huge laugh.
11:08Thanks, Blitzen.
11:09You've opened my eyes.
11:11Robbie, no.
11:12I'm going outside.
11:14I may be sometime.
11:15Don't go.
11:17Robbie.
11:22It's a cold night, Blitzen.
11:24If only someone would stoke my fire.
11:27Well, it'd be rude not to.
11:31Christmas has arrived already.
11:35Only 5,000 miles to home.
11:39Have to raise spirits.
11:43Try whistling.
11:44Oh, hello.
11:58Hey.
11:59Dinner.
12:00Yes.
12:00Result.
12:06I like the crispy bit.
12:07Do it till it's crispy.
12:08Hope there's leftovers.
12:10We can make a curry.
12:11With mango chutney.
12:12Lovely.
12:13Oh, Louie.
12:13Oh, soup.
12:14Have some of that.
12:14Oh, he's alive.
12:19Can we eat him anyway?
12:21No.
12:22Off you go.
12:23No.
12:23Don't send me out there again.
12:25Can I stay?
12:26For a bit?
12:27Please.
12:28Oi, Antlers.
12:29Get back here.
12:30What are you doing?
12:31Wait.
12:31I could just hang with you elves.
12:33Hey, I'll help you make toys.
12:35I'm a very good worker.
12:37I really am really very good.
12:39Honest.
12:39Sort of.
12:40Want some for you?
12:48Want some for you too, because you're at work.
12:55Oh, this one?
12:57Hey, hey, bring on.
13:04Oh, I'm in control of the situation.
13:06Uh-oh.
13:14I love you.
13:17I love you.
13:19Ah!
13:20Sorry.
13:21But you brought me in the...
13:22Ah!
13:23Robbie, I don't think you're production line material.
13:27You're demoted to sweeping up.
13:28Robbie, what happened?
13:38I started sweeping, but then I found these bits of toys, and I thought, I know, I'll invent new toys.
13:43Look, Sebastian Mussel Whale.
13:45Do whales have arms?
13:47Sebastian's got three.
13:48He needs them to fight his arch enemy.
13:50Octo-monkey!
13:51I'll get you, Sebastian.
13:57Sorry, Robbie.
13:58I'll have to demote you again, lad.
14:00Oh?
14:00What could possibly be worse than sweeping up?
14:10These are the multi-gems you wanted, Miss Donner.
14:13Sign here, please.
14:13There's something familiar about that fortlift truck.
14:18Hello, Donner.
14:22I was a rubbish deer.
14:23I'm even a rubbish elf.
14:25I'm worse than rubbish.
14:26If you threw me on a rubbish tip, the other rubbish would say...
14:29There goes the neighbourhood.
14:32You're not finished yet, Robbie.
14:34I know a way you can get back on the sleigh team.
14:36How?
14:37Just before Christmas, there's a big sports tournament for reindeer.
14:41No, no, no, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
15:11Robbie, you can do this.
15:13It'll be tough.
15:14Yeah.
15:15But I'll help you.
15:16Yeah.
15:17I don't need to be a failure all my life.
15:19I'll actually make a go of it.
15:21For me, for my dad, and most of all, for Vixen.
15:25Beautiful Vixen.
15:26She's so lovely.
15:27She's got these eyes and lips and antlers.
15:31Vixen, Vixen, Vixen.
15:36You can't train with the other end, dear.
15:39Vixen will do anything to stop you winning.
15:41Oh, come on.
15:42He's my best friend.
15:43The noblest deer in the world.
15:46Have you ever been in Vixen's room?
15:50Well, no, but...
15:52There you go.
15:53I told you.
15:53He is my best friend.
15:54He's got a picture of me on...
15:55Oh.
15:57Take that, you red-handed pig.
16:00Oh, dear.
16:05Oh, dear.
16:05I say we bop him good.
16:09We'll need help.
16:11I locked in the phone book under wise old coaches who can save the day.
16:15And there's only one in the area.
16:16He's called Old Jingle.
16:19I've heard of Old Jingle.
16:20He was old when my dad was a kid.
16:22He can't still be around, can he?
16:23He is.
16:24And he lives somewhere on Pointy Mountain.
16:32Oh, dear.
16:33Ah, the visitor.
16:49Eh, hello.
16:51Is Old Jingle in?
16:53Please.
16:54Ah, let me think.
16:55Um.
16:57Ah, yes.
16:57Yes, I am.
16:58Yes, come in.
16:59Come in.
17:00Stay there.
17:01I'll put the kettle on.
17:03Well?
17:04I want you to train me, Mr. Old Jingle, sir, for the reindeer games.
17:08I don't train anyone.
17:10Old Jingle is retired, so...
17:12But you've got to take him off.
17:15Without your help, he'll never beat Blitzen.
17:18Blitzen?
17:19Is Blitzen involved in this?
17:21You know Blitzen?
17:22Never heard of him.
17:23But he's got to be stopped.
17:25What's your name?
17:26Robbie, sir.
17:27Well, Robbie Pugle, let's get down the hill and I'll see what you're made of.
17:31Don't get up.
17:33Jumping a little bit of cock.
17:36Ah, that's right.
17:38Oi!
17:38Yous are going to get a reach slap for that house.
17:44Hi-ya!
17:45Hoo-ha!
17:46So, Robbie Pugle, you want to be on the sleigh?
17:49Then you will enter only one event, the steeplechase.
17:52The boss man is always looking for fast hurdlers to don't to the rooftops.
17:55To get on the sleigh, win the steeplechase.
18:02Go!
18:03Get busy.
18:04That's work.
18:06Get busy.
18:08Take them out.
18:10Get busy.
18:12That's work.
18:13Get busy.
18:15Your nose is a great ally, Robbie Pugle.
18:20Bounce with your nose.
18:2430, 40, 50, 60, 70, 70.
18:27Trust your nose.
18:29I don't think so.
18:32Oh, forget it. Bet my dad could have done it.
18:46You can be as good as your dad, Robbie Pupil. You think him perfect. No one is. He's just a man like all of us.
18:54Um, actually, we're all reindeer.
18:56Oh, that explains a lot. These for a start. And why they never let me become Pope.
19:02You can be as good as your dad, Robbie Pupil.
19:0749, 50, 51, 52.
19:14Come on! Come on!
19:17Oh, Jingle will watch you win tomorrow. Remember, Robbie Pupil, stick to good food. You are what you eat.
19:35Mm-mm. Nuts.
19:36Thanks, old Jingle.
19:37This is a much better spot for a house. I'd have to be raving mad to push my house back up the hill.
19:49One day, I will be too old to do this. But that day will not come for...
19:56House down there. Sliding down a hill, Alan.
20:03Oh, er, right. I'm Des Yeti. And this is, er, Alan's snowman.
20:08Welcome to the Reindeer Games.
20:11Sponsored by Hed, the official snack build of the Reindeer Games.
20:15And the opening ceremony, er, as you can see, is already underway.
20:20There's a little reindeer there, symbolising hope for the future of reindeer.
20:26And, er, a reindeer there with a big head, symbolising...
20:30Things with big heads.
20:31Probably.
20:32Thanks, Alan.
20:33Prancer, there.
20:36I'm sure you recognise him.
20:38And, of course, Santa, there.
20:40Retro chic.
20:41Not retro chic enough.
20:43Fashion victim.
20:44And here now come the three ten-tonners.
21:01So, on with the games.
21:02Now, the question everyone's asking, of course, is which reindeer will be the star?
21:07Glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, glitzen, gl
21:37Of course, the most important event is still to come, the steeplechase.
21:41That's right, it is. The steeplechase. Thanks, Alan.
21:45Now, we've got a late entrant.
21:47Robbie Hawkins.
21:49Seems to have some kind of a big red nose by the look of things.
21:54Well, you were talking about little Robbie there, it is.
21:56The son, of course, of...
21:57Don't say that name.
22:06Oh, my word.
22:07My baby!
22:11Look at that little reindeer go.
22:13Well.
22:17I thought I'd got rid of him.
22:21Thanks, Robbie. You saved his life.
22:25Robbie, I thought you were ever so ace.
22:29The little...
22:30I'll have it.
22:32Robbie, let's not beat about the bush.
22:35You love me, you'll do anything to please me.
22:37I don't want you to run in the steeplechase.
22:39There, that's sorted out. Must go.
22:41Sorry, Vixen. I'm going to run and try to win and everything.
22:44No, no. How it works is, Blitzen wins, he gets famous, he gets me out of this dive...
22:49You spoke to me.
22:51Robbie, you can't speak to me because you love me so much.
22:53What are you up to?
22:54I grew up. Now I can talk to anyone I like.
22:57Robbie, you're all set.
22:59You have no taste.
23:04Robbie, what's the matter?
23:06What's the matter, Ernie?
23:09Robbie, all Jingle's trapped under his house.
23:11I can't lift it, Robbie.
23:13All runners, assemble for the steeplechase.
23:17Robbie, what are we going to do?
23:19Hang on, old Jingle. I'm coming.
23:22Well, the little reindeer's actually running out of the stadium.
23:25He'll never win a race, are we, Tis?
23:27That's inexperience.
23:32Old Jingle, talk to me.
23:34Too heavy. I need something to wedge underneath.
23:41Sebastian, it's not enough.
23:45Octomonkey.
23:51Everything's going to be all right now, old Jingle.
23:54See? Kid's strong. Very strong.
23:58Jingle.
23:59Farewell, Robbie friend.
24:02Jingle.
24:02Goodbye.
24:08Jingle?
24:10Now, when does this race start?
24:14Well, run!
24:18And Blitzen takes the early lead,
24:21Subobb.
24:22And it seems, Alan,
24:24that fears about France's war
24:26have been realised.
24:29There we are.
24:30Yeah.
24:31Look at that.
24:32Blitzen's way out in front now.
24:44Robbie!
24:45Well, number five and a half
24:48has finally, uh, started the race.
24:50You know, the guy's in Norfolk it is.
24:52He's three laps behind.
24:53Yeah, OK, Al, but I think you'll find, uh,
24:56it's just become two laps.
24:57In fact, Robbie now just one lap behind.
25:02Come on!
25:03Come on!
25:05Come on!
25:05Come on!
25:06Robbie and Blitzen are neck and neck, and, uh...
25:09Still don't get it, do you?
25:10What a marvellous sporting occasion this is turning out to be.
25:13This is for you.
25:15And this is for Daddy.
25:25Robbie!
25:26The nose jump!
25:28The nose jump, Robbie!
25:30The nose jump!
25:32Use the nose jump!
25:35And, uh, it's a photo finish there, between those two.
25:56Robbie!
25:57I'm proud of you.
25:59I always want you to know that.
26:05You know, I always said it, didn't I, Dez?
26:07Little Robbie.
26:09Brilliant.
26:09Can't remember you saying that, Alan.
26:11So, uh, don't make me get out the old three-bar fire.
26:14Oh, come on.
26:16I always said it.
26:18Little Robbie, he is...
26:20I'll never say it.
26:22I'm a big snowman liar.
26:23OK, come on!
26:25And the winner, by the nose, is...
26:29Blitzen.
26:32Yes!
26:33Well done!
26:35I need to know something.
26:38Can you not talk to me because you love me?
26:41Or because you've just been trampled by a herd of reindeer?
26:45Oh, shut up and come here!
26:50Yippee!
26:51She loves me!
26:52Yippee!
26:53Yippee!
26:53And, incredibly, Robbie is now beating all the records for every event.
27:01Yippee!
27:02Yippee!
27:03He's got no medals, but, uh, the people love him.
27:07Yippee!
27:07Ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:08Will you marry me?
27:09Of course I will, you crazy fool!
27:16Oh, look, there's Robbie's dad!
27:18Aw, thanks, Dad.
27:22You, sir, are cheap.
27:23Time to give a sample, Mr. Blitzen.
27:26Incidentally, you are shocked.
27:29You're shocked.
27:30Yippee!
27:31Yippee!
27:31Yippee!
27:32Now that is you.
27:34Never let a sleigh before, Robbie?
27:37Who do you mean, oh?
27:38Well, you'd better get some practising, eh?
27:40Here.
27:42It's yours for the night.
27:43Yippee!
27:44Yippee!
27:45Yippee!
27:45Taking a ride
27:48To the other side
27:52Of the moon
27:54Of the moon
27:57Take it for me
28:03It's the best bit to see
28:07Off the moon
28:09Of the moon
28:12Ooh, whiskey
28:13Now the work is done
28:19Now the race is run
28:23Now the games are won
28:27Not a day too soon
28:30Not a day too low
28:31But it's still
28:31That's alright
28:33Once again
28:34Who's gone
28:35Know
28:36?
28:37What the hell
28:37This
28:38Is
28:38thiers
28:39Now the
28:42We'll
28:43Get
28:43You
28:43Was
28:45week
28:46And
28:47Usually
28:48You
28:49Are
28:49aju
28:58Ho, ho, ho!