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  • 4/17/2025
The show talks about an e-mail from a listener about two alleged secret service agents who showed up at her door, which leads to the development of a new TV crime series starring overweight investigators.

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😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00this person does not want me to use her name but she said hey guys i'm emailing you because
00:08the strangest thing happened to me today i'm sitting at home i see two cars pull up now
00:14nothing fancy but two guys get out one's normal looking green polo the other kind of shorter
00:20bigger pushing 300 bills they're both holding binders i just thought great these guys are
00:27going to try and sell me something so anyway i meet them at the door that way my dog wouldn't
00:31start barking i answer the door they both show me their badges and say we're from the secret service
00:38literally out loud i said whoa yeah they asked if i lived here hey i'm from the secret service
00:47i'm sorry they asked it does so-and-so live here i said no and they said okay thank you
00:57she said is this some type of scam maybe i haven't heard of
01:02were they just staking out my house or was that really the secret service stakeout
01:06the secret service dudes are in shape right it's not short little fat dude no it's not like a little
01:13me run around protecting the president it doesn't sound maybe these are the like the real buff dudes
01:19are the ones that get the like they guard the president and then i'm with the secret service
01:26facebook division i'm youtube division so basically our job is we saw you post some stuff about the
01:34president look at the binder fella the binder doesn't lie it's in our binder and so we're looking for this
01:42gay i'm sorry it's catching my breath we're out in the field here it's really hot today you know
01:5378 degrees uh to this lady that emailed us keep an eye out here because it sounds like it was just
02:00guys trying to case your house to see if anyone was home yesterday i thought maybe there was somebody
02:04that was trying to case my house because but so i i was leaving garage opens up i'm leaving and i see
02:10someone's out on one side of the driveway so i'm like okay well i'll just go on the other side i don't
02:14know who that is they pull up in the driveway beep the horn and they're in like a just a regular car
02:19it was a third party delivery service or whatever one of those independent delivery service people
02:25and he's beeps the horn and he holds up my package like i was supposed to get out of the car it's like
02:32the laziest yes but chuck the free delivery person
02:36listen i'm in the secret service but i also do some package delivery on the side because i'm
02:45driving around a lot but uh can you come and get this
02:50hey what is this that is hilarious leave it at the door
03:05hey lady lady hey you order some stuff i got your boots
03:12they're really heavy why'd you have such a long driveway huh
03:17so i sat in the car for a second i'm like this is what do i do what do i do this could be a scam
03:23like this guy will is he gonna rob me i don't even know who this is but then uh he then he ended up
03:29knocking at my window in my car yeah my package he walked it up to me yeah hey lady so you're just
03:37watching him like what well no i had to think about it for a minute because i didn't know i'm
03:42like who is this trust no one help no one i'm sure kicked in like what's going on here it was like are
03:48you do you know this is not professional you can't just beep and someone don't feel it i'm a
03:53secret service field agent other people have said it too on text that maybe the first thing you do
03:58when someone tells you that their secret service yeah is asked to see their badge so um jay you
04:04think there are bigger guys who work for the secret service there we go there are like if you
04:10ever want to show criminal minds you got pernela b carcia she's like oh wait a second you're basing
04:16this on the show criminal minds i know that i know that sounds funny but no seriously oh my
04:23let me crunch the numbers on this real quick you're the best we got you understand i know it
04:31i am the best we got
04:33so i was monitoring facebook last night yeah and i said that four packages were delivered the least ways
04:41oh my god i don't think it's really her fast packages huh totally yeah i like she's empty
04:49shanty i like big guy investigators i like big guy investigators they should have it big guy
04:55investigators uh okay listen you it's your turn stop right there seriously oh god they ran if you make
05:04me run i'll kill you shoot him okay i'll shoot you from right here we're expert marksmen we are
05:12that's how we learn to get criminals because we can't run half shadow many knees yeah what theme
05:17song would the big guy investigators show have i'd have to think of that i don't know it'd be a funny
05:24show to watch yeah just fat investigators that's amazing that's on my dvr if that happens ever
05:31mm-hmm i don't think they should even have a set thing of what they're investigating it could be
05:37anything right like that every week you never know what they're going to invest here hey we're trying
05:42to do but you should do do the glasses thing like a big guy we'll both do it at the same time my
05:49glasses fogged up a little bit because my heavy breathing the moisture gets hit i gotta take them
05:54off not for uh effect but just to wipe them off from all the goddamn condensation from my face i
06:00somehow got mustard on me you did it's been a heavy investigation today
06:09we come sliding in rockstar slides oh my button came in my pants just tear
06:15i love it tonight on fgi investigators
06:23you