00:00You know those teen vampire movies that feel like the horny soap opera fever dreams of a 8th grade diary?
00:05Here's how mine began.
00:14Be safe. Oh my god guys, I'm gonna be fine.
00:18My first night in LA and it's already the best night of my life. Hi, we're going to after-hours party if you want to come.
00:25Oh my god.
00:29That's enough.
00:35Shoveled a lot in your life, haven't you? How would you like to hold the keys to the kingdom for a change?
00:43Now would be the time for any questions.
00:46Were you guys like vampires? Yep.
00:49Did you guys kill people?
00:52Indiscriminately.
00:53Innocent people?
00:54It's like 80-20.
00:56Rule number one, never turn a man into a vampire. Men can't handle power.
01:03Welcome to Bite Club. Bite Club? What about Bit Girls? Sounds like we're part of STEM or something.
01:09Welcome home. What, no coffin? Why would we do that?
01:12Because it's dope.
01:15You're staying away from drugs, right?
01:18Yes, mom.
01:21My life's a horror movie.
01:25Life's full of things you never think should happen and then it does.
01:30I'm going to be 18 forever. People just think you're aging well.
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