00:00♪♪♪
00:04Did my daughter Eloise come?
00:05She left a note for you.
00:06We can just read it ourselves.
00:08Dear Mom, Alice and Paul,
00:10all I've ever wanted
00:11was to feel like a part of this family.
00:12I thought maybe my wedding
00:14would be a chance to reconnect.
00:15No writing!
00:18I see now that maybe
00:19we were never really connected.
00:22Wow.
00:23That's a real shame, isn't it?
00:25♪♪♪
00:28Hi, sis.
00:29Oh, my God, have you seen this invitation?
00:31Are you going to the wedding?
00:32Eloise is our half-sister,
00:33which means we can half-ass the relationship.
00:35♪♪♪
00:36My rich sister chose to stay in London
00:38and shove fish and chips up her butt.
00:40That's not how you eat them.
00:42♪♪♪
00:44This is nice.
00:45My company upgraded me.
00:46Very cool, country mouse.
00:47I figured that everyone in business class
00:49was gonna be hot and mean like you.
00:51They got Paddington on this flight?
00:52Stink.
00:55♪♪♪
00:58Alice!
00:59My sister's the worst.
01:01Thank you for coming to England, my nuptials.
01:03She's like net-a-porter,
01:05and I'm like Nordstrom Rack.
01:06Alice, the wine is spilling.
01:08You bet it is, Mom.
01:09She sounds like a monster.
01:11So lovely having you all here.
01:13Only 72 hours until the big I2.
01:15Oh, my God, Alice.
01:17I'm dying.
01:18I think I just had some bad chicken.
01:19I don't have any chicken.
01:21♪♪♪
01:22It's wonderful being here with my children
01:25and all their friends.
01:26You know he's not my friend.
01:27You know I support you.
01:28Excuse me, sir?
01:29Yes?
01:30He's my son.
01:31What's happening here?
01:32And they do sex things.
01:33It's A-OK with me, and I'm proud.
01:35I'm getting married, and it's not gonna be OK!
01:38From this moment forward,
01:39you will behave like a normal family
01:42who is here to happily celebrate a loved one's wedding.
01:45Is that understood?
01:46She's even prettier when she's angry.
01:48Absolutely radiant.
01:50♪♪♪
01:53Ah!
01:54Ah!
01:55Alice!
01:56Ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:58Do you think this is funny?
01:59I do!
02:00You know how at every wedding,
02:01there are those people everyone talk about after?
02:04Cousin Randy.
02:05Ew.
02:06We're those people this time.
02:07Oh, savage mom.
02:09♪♪♪
02:16Let's begin.
02:21Because I want to be rich.
02:22Did you wash your hands?
02:23Of course not.
02:25Oh, my God!
02:26You ever use Schmaltz?
02:27Same heart attack, different afterlife.
02:31Even if I did know where the Antichrist was,
02:33I wouldn't tell you we're on opposite sides!
02:35I rather enjoy being on fleek.
02:38I ate a bug.
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