00:00Hi there, here's some things to do if you're a new college student.
00:03Get your room ready.
00:04Check.
00:05Make some new friends.
00:06Check.
00:07Find yourself suddenly perimenopausal.
00:08Check.
00:09Really?
00:10Hiya.
00:11OK.
00:12Hello all.
00:13This mediation is here to help facilitate your divorce.
00:19You will all be civilized and you will please address all speech to me, to you.
00:23So even if we want to talk to one another, we can't.
00:25I mean, if I wanted to say, Dina, I am going to have a beautiful life with your husband.
00:31Dina.
00:32I can't believe you brought her.
00:33I can't believe you brought Christine.
00:34I can't believe you shacked up with a bitch.
00:37I just want to say for the record, I just needed an upgrade in my life, Diana.
00:41You son of a bitch.
00:42Timmy, please.
00:43I'm sorry.
00:44You son of a bitch.
00:45You're the son of a bitch.
00:46You're the son of a bitch.
00:47I object.
00:4823 years of marriage is down the tubes.
00:54What am I going to do?
00:57I'm a 40-something-year-old woman that doesn't even have a degree.
01:01Oh my God.
01:03I know what I'm going to do.
01:06I don't regret staying at home and being your mom, but I regret not getting my degree.
01:10That's why somebody's mom just enrolled in college.
01:14Beep, beep, beep.
01:16It's me.
01:19I want the full experience.
01:22Oh, hell no.
01:23I don't know what that is.
01:24The mom perm or the mom boobs.
01:27These allowed this one to suckle at these teeth for 28 months.
01:31I wear them around my waist proudly.
01:34This isn't the time.
01:35Hop out.
01:36Get ready for the wild life.
01:37There goes the neighborhood house.
01:40Uh-oh.
01:41I cannot stay out of this unbelievable chocolate.
01:44It is weed bark, so maybe I would probably hold off from having any more.
01:48Just because...
01:49What is it?
01:51You've such pretty eyes.
01:55For 20 years, I worried about what I wasn't doing right, what I could have been doing better.
02:00You have a moment here if you take it.
02:03Oh my God, Mom.
02:05Don't jump to conclusions.
02:06You don't know what's happening here.
02:07It looks like my mother is doing the walk of shame out of a frat house.
02:10Okay.
02:11Yes.
02:12Technically, that's what's happening.
02:13Let's go.
02:14You know what?
02:15I'm older.
02:16I'm wiser.
02:17This, essentially a Google.
02:18Ask me anything.
02:19Turn off your Google.
02:21Okay, I don't like it.
02:22Get ready for the wild life.
02:24Oh my God.
02:25I did not know they were going to be here.
02:27What is on your lobe, Dan?
02:29It's an earring.
02:30It works for Harrison Ford.
02:32Harrison Ford blew up the Death Star and freed a galaxy.
02:35What have you done, Dan?
Commentaires