Tell me why finding your "tribe" is crucial

Gulf News

Emma Burdett, Founder of WILD (Women in Leadership Deliver) network, joins Maria Botros on the Tell Me Why podcast to talk about the importance of finding a community to get support and achieve a sense of belonging.   Emma: WILD is a platform for existing and future female leaders to come together and share knowledge  Women's networks are the answer to gender equality, says Emma  Emma: It has been evident that many women still struggle with confidence   My mental breakdown and personal experience in the corporate world inspired me to set-up WILD, says Emma  Emma: I want to ensure that younger generations don't encounter the challenges I've faced  See more videos at https://gulfnews.com/videos Read more Gulf News stories here: https://bit.ly/2HLJ2km  Subscribe to Gulf News on YouTube and watch more of our videos: https://www.youtube.com/user/GulfNewsTV  #UAEnews #podcast #community

Transcript

00:00That's something that we all need is a sense of belonging, connection and

00:05belonging and that's what we find in community. And I think you know everyone

00:09in Dubai majority of us are expats, so it's important to find your

00:15actual tribe. So under Wild we do a variety of different things to

00:22support women. Generally we work with women to rise as leaders in the pursuit

00:29of gender equality. Okay. And having studied gender equality within SEAD,

00:33women's networks are the answer to gender equality. So in terms of

00:40challenges you know I still speak to many women that struggle with confidence.

00:51Welcome back this is Maria Botros' Tell Me Why, a Gulf News original podcast. For

00:56those of you who listen to us every single week you know that we love to

01:01address the matters that matter to you. And today I have Emma Burdett. Do you

01:06pronounce your name as Emma Burdett? Yes. Okay perfect. So Emma Burdett is with me

01:11in the studio today. She is the founder of Wild which is Women in Leadership

01:16Deliver. That's right. Yeah yeah that's pretty cool. So I know the name speaks

01:20for itself but tell us a bit more about Wild. What is it? What do you do? Yeah so

01:25thank you so much for having me. I'm grateful to be here. Lovely to meet you.

01:29Thank you. So Wild is a platform for existing and future female leaders to

01:35come together, share knowledge, expertise, have fun along the way. We generally work

01:43with quite senior females and also emerging leaders. So I'd love to tell you

01:50a little bit about the background of Wild. So I've been in the region 11 years

01:56and always had quite big leadership roles myself. Okay. And then in 2016 I got

02:03headhunted and as part of the role they asked me as a CSR initiative to build a

02:10women's network. Okay. So that started literally with four women and a sheet of

02:16paper. I grew it to 15 women. Wow. And saw firsthand the power of women coming

02:25together with a genuine sense of solidarity and support. We were all doing

02:31business amongst ourselves and I saw the importance of community. But

02:38unfortunately I lost my job which sent me on a huge trajectory of personal

02:45growth. Okay. And because of the workplace challenges I actually suffered from a

02:51mental breakdown. Oh. So yeah. I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah that's okay. I mean I'm

02:56grateful actually now because that's how I originally you know created Wild was

03:00from a rock-bottom moment. Of course. And I turned into, so I turned to personal

03:06growth and I knew that I'd done something really amazing with the first

03:11Women's Network and potentially I could do it for myself. Mm-hmm. It is a long

03:16story Maria but after a spiritual epiphany I wrote Wild from scratch at

03:20the start of 2018 and launched it primarily as a events business and I had

03:29over a hundred women at the first event. Mm-hmm. I'd never done a keynote. I was

03:34absolutely completely nervous. Wow. Shaking knees. Yeah. Dry mouth. Quite

03:40fully reflecting back. Yeah. Five and a half years ago but that was the start of

03:44Wild. That's fantastic. You know like they always say out of the darkness comes

03:48opportunity. There's always something. There's that ray of light that just

03:52comes in and gives you that light bulb moment. Mm-hmm. You know to open up something

03:56that helps you as a person grow and overcome the challenges that you faced.

04:00Before we dive into Wild a bit more. Yeah. Do you mind telling us a bit more about

04:04your personal experience? Like about the what you went through. Yeah. I mean we'd

04:09love to hear it if you're open to share the story. You were saying you had a

04:13mental breakdown. What happened? Like what triggered that and and how did you

04:19reach that point? So as part of Wild I personally am a real big advocate for

04:25wellness and I'm probably a lot older than you but you know in my career no

04:31one spoke about flexible working or mental health or periods or menopause or

04:38any of those topics were really really taboo. So it's great to see more

04:43awareness and these initiatives now coming to the forefront. But you know

04:48when I reflect upon my career doing a long stint in corporate before Wild I've

04:54been bullied, I've been fired, I've been harassed. I was actually thrown out of a

05:01client's office in the UK in 2006 for being a girl, for being a woman. So I've

05:08encountered lots of toxicity in the workplace. I've encountered lots of bias

05:15and really that's given me the passion to want to ensure that in particular the

05:22younger generation don't encounter the significant challenges that I've been

05:27through throughout my career. So that's where I cultivated the passion for Wild

05:33and you're absolutely right you know there's beauty in the bottom and rock

05:39bottom moments do lead often to something really really good. So you

05:45know I'd encountered like I say significant workplace challenges which

05:51had lasted several several months that had really broke me, really worn me down.

05:58And yeah just completely. You know I applaud you and and I just think that

06:04it's always great to see someone I mean I I know that I've been through you know

06:09several challenges in the workplace as well. Maybe not necessarily because I'm a

06:13woman but as a young you know fresh grad you know getting into the workplace it

06:18was always overwhelming was very nerve-wracking you always want to prove

06:21yourself. So I get that and it's always good to use your personal experience to

06:27do better for others and I applaud you for that and I thank you for that

06:30because it is a journey and and a lot of people think you know what I wish

06:35someone was there for me when I first started or as a woman in a place that is

06:40predominantly male you know. So I applaud you honestly and thank you for that. Okay

06:46so getting into WILD. Can you tell us you know you were saying that you meet

06:51all these women that are in leadership roles or going into leadership roles

06:56what are some of the challenges they face and and how do you help them? So

07:00WILD is predominantly a community and you know that's something that we all

07:05need is a sense of belonging. Connection and belonging and that's what we find in

07:11community and I think you know everyone in Dubai majority of us are expats. Right.

07:16So it's important to find your you know your actual tribe. So under WILD we do a

07:24variety of you know different things to support women. Generally we work with

07:30women to rise as leaders in the pursuit of gender equality. Okay. And having

07:36gender equality within SEAD, women's networks are the answer to gender

07:41equality. So in terms of challenges you know I still speak to many women that

07:49struggle with confidence and even you know women who have big leadership roles

07:57are still quite frightened of being visible, quite frightened of putting

08:04themselves out there, of establishing their own leadership brand and I think

08:09that's down to a few things. I think social conditioning has a huge part to

08:14play you know the gender biases and the gender stereotypes you know when we were

08:21young if you were forthright as a girl you were bossy and no one wants to be

08:26called bossy. Exactly. And the boys were leaders so we've been taught very much

08:31to see ourselves in such a quiet space that if we do speak about our accolades

08:37or achievements we feel like we're bragging or boasting and ultimately

08:42that's all men do you know. Yes exactly. So there are huge issues with with

08:47confidence and being visible and that's something I'm passionate about working

08:53with women to really break through that fear of judgment you know and what

09:00people will think. So we work with women in those capacities, we work with women

09:07I personally work with women from a business mentor perspective having built

09:14Wild. I forgot to mention I launched Wild originally with $300 as well. Oh wow okay

09:20yeah that's worth mentioning. Yeah exactly. I have invested a lot of money

09:27into Wild as we as we've generated money so you know and I've invested

09:32substantially in my own growth and development and that's really really

09:36important I've worked with four mentors. So we also work I work with women on

09:41social impact projects so you know women who want to build something which is

09:49going to impact community for the greater good. So one of my proteges is

09:56Joanna who is a Filipina woman who came up to me at the end of an event and

10:03said I really need your support and she was so anxious and so nervous and I

10:09said yeah you do and when we started working together I said you know what

10:14what do you care about and she said I really care about my fellow Filipinas

10:20because you know I'm an entrepreneur and I'm always getting biased that I'm the

10:29cleaner or the nanny and actually her and her husband have several businesses in Dubai. So I

10:35said to her at the time how do you feel about starting your very own women's

10:39network for Filipina women and she said oh my god yeah I'll never be able to do

10:44and I said don't compare my chapter 20 with wild with your chapter one

10:50subsequently Joanna has built the thriving Filipina circle she launched it

10:56in April last year and she's now got close on to 600 Filipina women in her

11:06own community and oh my god I'm so proud you know I see her now business groups

11:15leading, speaking, presenting and that's the power of having a mentor that is

11:23able to walk the walk with you on a path so that's an amazing amazing success

11:29story of someone who had zero confidence who lacked a lot of self

11:36esteem and self-worth who with you know the guidance and support of me and the

11:41wild community has gone on to build her own community and that's the thing with

11:47you know when you trailblaze is that you light the path for others to follow

11:54because you know I said to Joanna the world's your oyster yeah if you want to

11:59go and launch in Saudi now you know we've opened that gateway for you yeah

12:03and you lead by example exactly what you were saying it's it's funny that you

12:09mentioned confidence because I think that's you were saying that's one of the

12:11main challenges I think that is something that a girl or a woman

12:15struggles with from day one yeah I think from body image to the way the community

12:21thinks or the society thinks a woman should act or speak or behave you know I

12:29think it there's always that issue with confidence with women because of

12:34external factors and if you give a woman that opportunity you will see that she

12:39has it in her to lead hundreds and and she will actually be a trailblazer as

12:47you said okay so you spoke about Joanna and you spoke about the success story on

12:54the flip side we were talking about like stress management and how the work

12:59environment can actually affect you can you tell us a bit more about that because

13:03we did speak about this briefly before the show and we were saying that more

13:08often than not people realize at their breaking point and you did too and you

13:14said that that's what happened to you you had reached like a mental breakdown

13:17and and it's difficult to realize it before that point and it takes a lot of

13:22like self-awareness to be able to pinpoint that out and to actually stop

13:27yourself so how can people do that like how can they like how does it affect

13:31first so the first part of the question is how does stress in the work

13:34environment affect your mental health and how can people realize it before

13:38it's too late or before that giving up point I mean it's never too late but

13:42like before that point of giving up so burnout is real and what I see with a

13:50lot of the corporate women is that they just run run run run run and there's a

13:56very very fine ledge and when you're off it it's very very difficult to get back

14:02on and when so last year last March it was the new year and I had so many

14:11opportunities with wild and I was running around flying to one thing going

14:17to another doing keynotes doing a myriad of different things and I didn't realize

14:24but I was burnt out and I actually fell off a stage in tears due to burnout okay

14:32and a male mentor of mine was at this particular event and he sort of you know

14:38picked me up and sat me down and said are you all right hmm and you know I was

14:42like yeah I'm fine I'm fine and he just looked at me and he said I've known you

14:46a long time getting emotional I've known you a long time you're not okay and I

14:51was it was too late like you say it was too late for going off the ledge and it

14:57took me three months to get myself back and the way that I describe it is apathy

15:05you've got no motivation you've got no interest in things you're completely

15:13disconnected completely depersonalized from things just completely out of

15:19alignment and it's it's it's depressive it's like depression and it took me a

15:24very very long time to to get myself back together so when we work with women

15:32we this year launched a membership an official membership Wild Women

15:36Collective and when I wrote the strategy I based it on four pillars leadership

15:42self-leadership wellness and power skills and what I see which is really

15:51embedded in this region is the strive for more and more academia but there

15:59isn't that self-leadership wellness component and that's the bedrock to

16:04success right it's that inner hustle it's that unpacking of trauma it's the

16:12daily habits and rituals that you implement in your life mm-hmm will lead

16:17to success and you know I get interviewed all the time now about wild

16:22and everyone wants to know how I've done this and the answer is really simple is

16:28that I have invested in my growth and development right and to be able to have

16:38that balance to not be burnt out to not be stressed you know we all hail work

16:44life balance which has become so cliche right but you know I can tell you three

16:51or four things life hacks how you spend your morning and how you you know

16:59navigate your first hour is going to determine your whole day and little

17:05things really really compound and it's about being consistent and that's a

17:11combination of inspiring podcasts like yours thanks meditation is a complete

17:17life-changing practice gratitude complete life changing practice you

17:23listening to affirmation work and knowing that you have to fill you up yes

17:30you know absolutely I work with women personally that are on the edge mm-hmm

17:37on the ledge and I'm like we need to get you implementing daily habits and

17:44rituals yes and they say I haven't got time and my retort is have you got time

17:51to feel rubbish and go on to be burnt out where you're no use to anyone

17:57because you can't literally think straight it's just gonna say I mean if

18:00you're not resting if you're not eating well if you're not taking care of your

18:04physical and mental health how are you supposed to give your business or your

18:08work anything absolutely I mean how are you gonna be productive you can't you

18:13absolutely can't and I was telling my friend I have a friend who recently

18:17started a business and they work night and day right even on their days off and

18:23I remember sitting down with them and I was like well I'm sorry but like if

18:27something happens to you health-wise what good is that gonna do to your

18:31business how are you gonna be able to give anything to your business if

18:34something happens to you you won't give yourself a break and the task that you

18:38would normally finish in 30 minutes you'd actually finish in two hours

18:42because you're not thinking straight you're running on lack of sleep exactly

18:47so I agree with you 100% and it's yeah it's so so vital and you know that's why

18:54I believe in investing in a coach or mentor is for that accountability right

18:59you know and I set people on not only a fast track to success but also you know

19:08getting people to implement these daily daily habits and when you look at any

19:13amazing leader or thought leader or business owner you know Simon Sanak

19:19Brendon Burchard Steve Bartlett all of them will talk Gary Gary whatever his

19:27name is Gary Vee Gary Vee you know they all talk incessantly about having daily

19:36habits and rituals and having you know boundaries and learning to say no is

19:41also really really important absolutely yes people women are people-pleasers oh

19:47yes and you know we've got to a stage with our business where so many people

19:54would contact us about coffees and zooms wanting to collab and you know

20:02collaboration is quid pro quo it's mutually beneficial it's not can I

20:08leverage wild and sell my products and services right and it's you know I

20:15personally now don't have time for pointless coffees and I have had them

20:22and people just want to brain pick yeah I'm getting information from you they

20:26just want to take they don't actually want to give anything 100% so don't get

20:31me wrong at wild we absolutely promote collaboration and we love collaboration

20:35when it's mutual the right reasons exactly so saying no and knowing that

20:41you can't do everything something that I always do is is talks at schools and

20:48universities because that's a matter close to my heart personally but you

20:52know so many companies who also want you to go and do presentations for their

21:00women free yeah and you're like okay you know you want me to empower your women

21:07what about empowering me to do it as a self-funded business owner yeah and

21:12these dialogues need to be spoken about and really change and it is educational

21:17I mean just as you would pay for a child's education you would pay for them

21:21to learn leadership skills and you know self-management skills and these things

21:27so why why is it any different absolutely when you think about it it's

21:31funny that you mentioned as well people being women being people pleasers

21:36because when you were saying you know women just run run run and they do all

21:41these things I was actually gonna ask you is it because as women we always

21:46feel like we have something to prove to society I heard someone say that once

21:51and it really resonated I felt like you know what yes we're constantly trying to

21:56prove that yes we can be leaders too we are trying to fight for our equality in

22:01in a workspace or even in just in society I mean is it because of that

22:06that social pressure that's like that underlying social it's not obvious but

22:11is it because we always feel like we need to prove something yeah and I

22:16believe that we have to work twice as hard right you know and that causes

22:20burnout in particularly in the workplace because you know then we're looking at

22:26situations which are tokenism where there's one woman out of a you know a

22:31group of men and she'll be given all of the tasks to go and show that there's a

22:39woman in the business so she's got all of this extra responsibility which leads

22:44which doesn't contribute to KPIs and targets right so yeah I definitely think

22:49that women have to work harder I definitely think that there's a tendency

22:53to want to have to prove more and actually you know Saudi is an amazing

22:58example of that where fortunately I'm so grateful to be immersed in the

23:05leadership scene with females in Saudi and I am blown away by the level of

23:13talent ambition academia like PhDs you know MBAs like nearly every Saudi leader

23:23I mean it's got a PhD and you're like wow it's so impressive yes but you know

23:29I've often wondered is it because they have wanted to do that to prove you know

23:34so yeah I definitely think there's a tendency for women to feel and it all

23:41boils down to self-worth right the end of the day right you know

23:53you

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