00:00Namaste Sir, so my question is about relationship, as you said that the main purpose of relationship
00:14is for liberation or the real relationship is that which helps in the liberation but
00:22in my life I see that there are both kinds of relationship, those which help me in the
00:30liberation and those which do not help me, which are like physical relationships or the
00:42relationships that I got by birth which I did not choose.
00:47So my question is how should I deal with those relationships which do not help me in liberation
01:00and you also said that there is nothing that doesn't have potential to assist you.
01:10So that means the relationships which are bodily relationships, they also have a potential
01:19to assist me in liberation.
01:22So like how I can?
01:25No, they will assist you by being no more.
01:32I did not say that stuff as it is will be helpful to you.
01:45There are things that are of use when you preserve them and maintain them and there
01:50are things that are of use when you throw them away.
01:57So I will be helpful to you by being no more.
02:04That's the way that thing will be of help to you and again the question is a bit wrongly
02:10framed again the thing is you are asking how do I deal with those relationships that are
02:16just physical, they have arisen out of lust or they are coming from birth.
02:23In all this, is there any remembrance of the love, the target?
02:34We said all relationships get their right place and right nourishment from their utility
02:41towards the target.
02:43If they are useful towards the target, they are alright.
02:47At no point are you talking of the target, you are still talking of the relationship
02:51only.
02:52Bad relationships, where do they arise from?
02:57They arise from a forgetfulness of the real target.
03:02When you forget the one that you must really reach, the result definitely will be bad relationships.
03:13If you have ever made a bad relationship, think of it.
03:17It would be in a moment when you have totally forgotten the real thing.
03:21If you remember the real thing, there is no way a bad relationship can happen to the
03:28extent that sometimes we just do not forget the real thing.
03:32We actually actively deceive the real thing so that a bad relationship can be raised.
03:43How then to rectify a relationship?
03:47Forget it.
03:48Remember the real thing.
03:50If you remember the real thing, the right relationship will get nourishment and the
03:58wrong one will shrivel down on its own.
04:01You don't need to hack down a wrong relationship.
04:07You just have to reaffirm your commitment to the right thing.
04:14Somebody asked me, how do I maintain the right circle of friends?
04:20Is it a wrong question?
04:23You move towards the right target.
04:26The ones who keep accompanying you are the right ones.
04:31Full stop.
04:33If you do not have anything for the right target, for the right destination and you
04:41just keep trying to filter your friends on some criteria, you will never succeed.
04:48Let the filtering be automatic.
04:52I am not filtering you.
04:55I am inviting everybody.
04:57I am going towards my target, my pilgrimage.
05:01I am inviting everybody to accompany me.
05:05Those who are right, you will find them by your side.
05:09Those who are wrong, they will drop by the wayside.
05:15Isn't that simple?
05:17And you will be relieved of the burden of filtering them.
05:24And you will be spared of the acquisition that you dropped them.
05:29I didn't drop you.
05:31I in fact invited you to accompany me.
05:34You decided not to accompany me.
05:38I am not shutting down my doors on your face.
05:43Just that when you arrive, I will not change the music.
05:52For your sake, I will not deceive or abandon my real love.
06:04Gita is the song.
06:12And I am listening to this song that I love.
06:18And you come to me.
06:21If you cannot tolerate Gita, you will live on your own.
06:26My job is not to flip the track.
06:32I will not say, oh now that you have come, let it be hip-hop.
06:36No, no.
06:39Chances are that fellow will not stand this.
06:47The moment you say, andhe karam sab tyag de, he will be gone.
06:52That's your job in life.
06:54Not to filter your relationships, but to stand committed to the real one.
07:01And those who will accompany you will then automatically be the right ones.
07:07We make this mistake.
07:09To maintain relationships, we wear masks.
07:12So in my solitude, it is Gita.
07:17And when that person arrives, I say no, no, no.
07:23Not by accident this one got turned on.
07:31Don't wear masks.
07:33Have that self-respect.
07:35That's what is dignity.
07:37This is who I am.
07:42And I will not exchange my truth for your sake.
07:51If you are alright with who I really am, let's be together.
07:59But don't ask me to drop my authenticity.
08:06Most of your existing relationships will fail this test.
08:12Because they are relationships between masks.
08:17You wear a mask and you expect the other to wear a mask.
08:22There is no fun.
08:24You do not even know the other's face.
08:27There is actually no relationship at all.
08:29How can two masks be related to each other?
08:37None of you have ever really seen each other.
08:41Get the symbolism please.
08:43You might be in a relationship since two decades.
08:46But you have never even once seen that person.
08:52Never.
08:56How can you see when they are?
08:59Interestingly, you cannot even kiss the other person.
09:03When masks try to kiss each other, all you get is friction and sparks.
09:09Plastic rubbing against plastic.
09:16And just for the heck of it, making some lustful noises.
09:29Forget relationships.
09:31Remember the real thing.
09:33The real thing will give you the right relationship.
09:39Forget the real thing.
09:41Your punishment will be that you will be saddled with an obnoxious relationship.
09:48Your punishment will be that you will bear that relationship for long now.
09:54Your internal cunningness will tell you see how smart I was.
09:58I deceived the real one.
10:02To pinch this relationship.
10:04Sir, you have not earned something.
10:12Even if you have earned something, it's a punishment.
10:15You have earned a punishment for yourself.
10:17You think you have brought home a goodie.
10:24The right relationship is in some way a blessing, a gift, prasad.
10:45Remember that one?
10:50Offer what you have at the yajna.
11:00And then what you get is prasad.
11:11Else you are a thief.
11:16You are a thief.
11:22The right relationship is prasad.
11:26Prasad is for pay.
11:32Yes.
11:36Acharya ji, from this answer I got to learn two things.
11:40Even though there are border relationships, but I never try to use them for the liberation.
11:47And second thing is about the mask.
11:49So yes, I use the mask many times.
11:53Many times I have skipped the Gita sessions as well.
11:57Never someone asked me where were you.
12:02You know there is something worse than skipping the Gita session for a relationship.
12:07It is to attend the Gita session for a relationship.
12:11I have seen such cases.
12:21It is obviously bad if you skip the Gita session for a relationship.
12:26It is far worse to come to the Gita session for a relationship.
12:31Just a follow up on this.
12:41I use a mask.
12:43I don't want to show them that I listen to Bhagavad Gita.
12:56Also many times I show them that I do not get affected by anything.
13:03I do not get affected by what you say.
13:07So this is the kind of behavior which contradicts each other.
13:23My teacher told me,
13:29You do the right thing.
13:31The right ones will come to you.
13:37And if there is someone for whom you have to drop the right thing,
13:43that person is surely not right for you.
13:52You want to know who is not right for you?
13:55The one who drags you away from the right thing.
14:00Full stop.
14:06Never make this mistake in relationships.
14:18Never.
14:20Never compromise on your authenticity for the sake of maintaining a relationship.
14:27Never.
14:29Let the truth be the truth.
14:37Let the first be the first.
14:42No compromises there.
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