The Square Cow pub in Wickham Apology Poem

The News, Portsmouth

A chair was stolen outside of The Square Cow pub in Wickham Square, Wickham. Owner Frank Dixie put out an appeal on Facebook to return it as they have CCTV footage of who stole it. On Monday, December 31, 2024, the chair was returned in the early hours with an apology poem.

Transcript

00:00The chair left outside.

00:03I took it, yes, that leather throne, abandoned there, cold and alone.

00:08Outside the pub, beneath the sky, its silent frame caught my wandering eye.

00:13The moonlight gleamed on its weathered face, a relic left in that quiet place.

00:18Perhaps forgotten, cast aside, but something in me swelled with pride.

00:23This chair deserves a better fate, I thought, and carried its heavy weight.

00:28Through cobbled streets and whispered air, I hauled away that lonely chair.

00:33But now I see, as guilt takes hold, this wasn't mine, its story's old.

00:37It bore the weight of strangers' spines, of drunken talks and closing times.

00:43A century there, for years before, it doesn't belong behind my door.

00:48So here I come, at break of day, to put it back where it should stay.

00:54Outside the pub, beneath the light, I leave it there to greet the night.

00:58A leather throne, for tales to share.

01:01Forgive me, friend, I've returned your chair.

01:04So, we had a live session and music, and so we put some of the furniture outside,

01:11one of them this chair in particular, and when we came to bring them all in, this was missing.

01:17So we hunted and trawled through the CCTV, which we are pretty well covered here,

01:25and we found the culprit.

01:27And rather than name him, I've already given him his sex now,

01:32rather than name him, I decided to give him a chance to do the honourable thing.

01:36So I put on Facebook, we know who you are, we know what you've done, please return it.

01:44And the next morning it was returned at five o'clock in the morning,

01:48outside the pub, with a poem attached to it.

01:53And that's really where we are at the moment.

01:55And I've read the poem, I think it's an absolutely brilliant poem,

01:59I think it's a bizarre thing to do.

02:01And well done to him for lightening the whole event,

02:08and making it, shall we say, a feel-good story.

02:11So well done, thank you.

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