00:00It's not his fault that he doesn't love you, because love doesn't force you to do it.
00:04But it's his fault that you believe the person you love, even if the truth is that he doesn't love you.
00:10But did he tell you the whole truth?
00:14Did he tell you if he really loves you?
00:19Do you really want to kiss me?
00:22Do you really...
00:24Did you really love me when you first kissed me?
00:26What's the real reason? Did he tell you?
00:29Even though we're friends, I don't have the courage to ask him because I'm afraid to answer.
00:38What's the real score?
00:41Honestly, right now, I'm the only one who understands what happened before.
00:52Of course, I'm the one who broke up. I'm the good guy. I'm still a good guy. I'm not a bad person.
00:59Now, I realize that I took a lot from him.
01:05I wish I could give him something more authentic.
01:10Or he could give you what he gave you.
01:13What do you mean by more authentic?
01:15Because now, I realize that I do everything because I need to look like a man.
01:24Why do you keep on saying that? You need to look like a man.
01:28What is your gender identity?
01:31Because I'm gay.
01:39And then, I told him that.
01:43I know. He told me that in the second part of our relationship,
01:50the three-fourths, after the three-fourths,
01:55there was one time when we were on our way home and I was just staring at him.
02:03I asked him,
02:05Do you want to confess something to me?
02:08But at that time, my intention was just to hear sweet words.
02:12Because, words of affirmation, I'm a girly person.
02:15But then, he suddenly confessed that at that moment,
02:20he had internal struggles with his sexuality.
02:25At that time, I didn't know how to handle such a big problem,
02:34or such a big confession.
02:37So, what I did at that time, since I'm a psych major,
02:43You can see signs that you understand.
02:46Yes, and at the same time, I prioritized his welfare.
02:50Because he told me at that time that I shouldn't leave him,
02:54because he had dark days.
02:56What does that mean? What are dark days?
02:58Because, since I was a child, I was forced to deny my sexuality.
03:06Because my family is religious.
03:08Of course, if you're gay, you're straight.
03:11That's what they're telling you.
03:13That's what they believe.
03:15If you're gay, you're straight to hell.
03:17Yes, until my childhood, I didn't know who I was.
03:26Because I was hiding.
03:29I had to hide, because if I didn't,
03:32what would my relatives or my parents do to me?
03:37I didn't know what they would do to me.
03:39My classmates bullied me every day.
03:45I didn't know if I could handle it
03:49if I acknowledged to myself that I was gay.
03:53So, it was very heavy.
04:02And then, during that time, when I confessed to him,
04:06there were other family problems.
04:09Because our family was dysfunctional.
04:18I needed to be able to hold on to him.
04:23And then, that time, I also remember that
04:25I told him that I wasn't gay, but I told her I was bisexual.
04:30Because that was more acceptable.
04:33But the truth is, you're gay.
04:35Yes.
04:37Now, we understand better why it's not clear to you
04:42if you're in love.
04:44Why it's not clear to you what you felt when you kissed.
04:50What's the reason why you're chasing him again?
04:54Now, it's clear that those are your ways to protect yourself.
05:03Because you felt like, all your life,
05:05you felt like you were in trouble.
05:10And that's what a lot of gay people feel,
05:13or a lot of members of the LGBTQIA plus community in society.
05:17A lot of people go through that every day.
05:21You felt so unsafe, right?
05:24Every day, if I need to fight,
05:28I need to be strong because
05:31it's like no one wants to accept me.
05:39It really hurts.
05:46It's good that you're saying that you need to fight every day.
05:49Not everyone goes through that.
05:52Some need to hide every day.
05:56Not to fight, but to hide.
06:01He's the only one who understands me.
06:07At first, you used him to hide.
06:10To look like a man.
06:15Because you have a girlfriend.
06:16So that they won't cheat on you.
06:18So that your family won't think,
06:22Oh, he's not going to hell anymore because he has a girlfriend.
06:25Right?
06:26Yes.
06:27Right?
06:30Because of the hate you feel towards that person,
06:35where will he go?
06:38Where will he go?
06:41What decisions will he make?
06:43I'm not saying that what he did to you was right.
06:46I'm not saying that was right.
06:48Because what we used for our protection,
06:53but we hurt him,
06:55that will never be right.
06:57But I understand where you're coming from.
06:59Why you went to that decision.
07:18I'm sorry.
07:19I'm sorry.
