00:00I am going to make merienda for my dear abobot over here, Kino.
00:19Who's gonna help me?
00:21To assist me with my cooking, we have Kino, who is the housekeeper.
00:25I'll tell you when it's done. Here, use this.
00:30So this is just really up to you. Tensya, pensya.
00:33What's that? Pensya, pensya more?
00:41Okay, so basically for me,
00:43I don't know if it's because of my family background,
00:49but my mom always tells me,
00:51don't have kids yet.
00:53She's like that.
00:56And so I would be afraid to have a child when I was young.
01:00Because I was afraid of the responsibilities.
01:02And then when I really wanted to have a child,
01:04in all fairness, it only took me two months.
01:06And I was pregnant right away.
01:09I had twins.
01:11And in fact, I was surprised because we have twins.
01:14And Cheese also has a twin.
01:17Two weeks before I found out I was pregnant,
01:20Heart called me to say that she was pregnant.
01:22My sister was embarrassed to tell me that she was also pregnant
01:25because she didn't want to steal the spotlight from me,
01:27which was so sweet of her.
01:28Me and Heart always planned to have one.
01:31If we were gonna have kids, we'd have one each.
01:34And we'd raise them, we'd raise them not as cousins,
01:39but as brother or sister or as, you know, siblings.
01:43So I was surprised when I first tried, after two months, I was pregnant.
01:46But then after two months,
01:49I saw right away that the other baby was slowly disappearing.
01:53So it's called Vanishing Twin Syndrome.
01:56So the Vanishing Twin Syndrome is a complicated case
01:59because about 50% to 60% told me
02:02that the child would be a very special child.
02:05Because that's the usual case.
02:07But they didn't tell me that.
02:09And at that time, I didn't really care.
02:10I just had to take care of the child.
02:13And then four months into the pregnancy,
02:16I was getting the ultrasound and there was no heartbeat.
02:20I can say that now without crying because my heart was beating fast.
02:25But it was very traumatizing for me.
02:27After that, I didn't want to have a baby for a long time.
02:31I really didn't want.
02:32I felt that I was traumatized.
02:35I had to carry also the babies,
02:37technically for about two months if I was pregnant.
02:41And because of that,
02:42because they didn't want to take away my strength,
02:44they wanted me to pass it out naturally
02:47because they were afraid that they might get damaged
02:49and I'll have a problem having a baby
02:51or might have scar tissue.
02:52I went crazy for a while.
02:54I was doing fashion week and people thought that I was having a good...
02:57I did New York, I did Paris,
02:59and they thought I was okay.
03:01But they were still bringing me babies.
03:03In fact, there's a dress that I was wearing,
03:05a blue dress, and I was wearing a belt
03:08because I was trying to have pass the baby out.
03:12I really didn't want to be pregnant after that
03:14because I thought,
03:17I'm kind, why is that?
03:19When she lost the second twin,
03:21I kind of felt guilty in a way that
03:24I was pregnant and she wasn't.
03:27Coincidentally, which I feel,
03:30it was also God's plan that Bella was born December 16
03:35and that was heart's due date.
03:37So instead of me having a baby,
03:40I had a baby through my sister.
03:43She's like an angel that was sent to me.
03:46She's like a substitute for now,
03:48this is it for now.
03:50So, there's a reason for everything.
03:52Heart's first pregnancy,
03:54she cried more than I did.
03:56You know, Bella's very lucky.
03:58She has two moms who,
04:00you know, she looks up to Heart.
04:03I think Heart is her idol.
04:05My name is Isabella.
04:07I am Flawless Eld.
04:10And my second mommy is Mama Heart.
04:15And my first mommy is Mommy Camilla.
04:25I have a machine that I wear every day.
04:28I can translate the bark of the dog
04:31so I know what they're saying.
04:33Can I try to know what they're saying?
04:36But, please, it's connected by brain.
04:39Oh.
04:40So, you can't connect to your brain.
04:44Well, she always says that
04:46I'm just a surrogate
04:48and she's the mother of my children.
04:50I like it.
04:51I like sharing, you know,
04:53I like sharing my joys with her.
04:55I like sharing motherhood with her.
04:58And I hope one day,
05:00in God's perfect time,
05:02that she has...
05:07she has her own.
05:09It took time for me to recover.
05:11And then when I finally wanted to get pregnant again,
05:14I couldn't get pregnant anymore.
05:17And then I did the tests.
05:19I found out there's nothing wrong with me.
05:22And, in fairness, there's nothing wrong with Cheese.
05:24Congratulations.
05:26But, basically, my body,
05:30even if I was, like, in my 30s,
05:32my egg production was like I was in my late 40s.
05:37So, I only had a few eggs left.
05:41So, we harvested four eggs
05:44and only two were good.
05:46Got a surrogate mother,
05:48and she was pregnant,
05:49and she was carrying my baby girl.
05:53And then, after, like, not very long,
05:56the baby girl was gone.
05:58And then, it was painful
06:01because I was thinking,
06:03that's a boy and girl.
06:04That's my last girl.
06:05And then, finally,
06:07just, like, a few months ago,
06:10we decided to take a chance
06:12to try the boy,
06:14my last remaining embryo.
06:16And it was complete.
06:18Like, it had a heartbeat.
06:23And then, after one week,
06:27it stopped.
06:29So, that one is very hard for me
06:31because, like, for me,
06:34that's my last try.
06:36And when I harvested my eggs,
06:38at that time,
06:39it was, like, long ago.
06:41So, if I only had a few eggs left
06:44at that time,
06:45what would I do now?
06:46I want her to feel that love.
06:48I want her to feel, you know,
06:50the feeling of being a mother,
06:53the feeling of unconditional love
06:55for someone.
07:26I just want to tell them
07:28that when I grow up,
07:30I'll be able to share
07:31my good experiences,
07:33my hardships,
07:35my lessons,
07:36so that it won't be wasted.
07:38They will learn
07:39from my hardships as well.
07:41That's all I kind of wanted.
07:43And I'm very thankful
07:45that I didn't like the situation
07:48that I had to go through.
07:50In fact, I think I've said
07:51a lot of bad things
07:53during my stupid times
07:54and they're the ones
07:55who will save me.
07:57So, I'm just very thankful
07:58that they're there.
08:00She doesn't dance with me,
08:02but sometimes,
08:03she does those little moves.
08:05Like what kind of moves?
08:08Very tita moves.
08:15It's not a tita move.
08:18It's not a tita move.
08:19I refuse to accept the tita.
08:24I refuse to accept the tita.
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