- 1 year ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:13I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me, sing.
00:00:21I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me.
00:00:44I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me, sing.
00:00:52I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me, sing.
00:00:59We'll never speak again, I love being in love.
00:01:03May I help you?
00:01:05Huh?
00:01:05No.
00:01:08Thank you very much.
00:01:09I'm just browsing.
00:01:11So, let me guess.
00:01:13Big night tonight.
00:01:15Yeah.
00:01:16Yeah?
00:01:16Yeah, actually, actually, the biggest.
00:01:19Really?
00:01:20Yeah.
00:01:21Ménage a trois?
00:01:21Pardon me?
00:01:22I'm kidding.
00:01:25Oh.
00:01:26Ménage a trois.
00:01:28French for, uh, who's that dude?
00:01:33So, you're looking for something for your girl?
00:01:35Well, not just any girl, okay?
00:01:37The most, the most beautiful, and incredible, and amazing, and, well, girl I've ever met.
00:01:46Yeah.
00:01:47Okay, well, if you have any questions, my name is Claire.
00:01:51Okay, actually, yeah.
00:01:52Um, does this come in red?
00:01:54I can check.
00:01:55Oh, so, Claire, um, does it come any larger?
00:02:02Yeah.
00:02:05Much, much larger.
00:02:14Oh, oh.
00:02:21Hey, is she in there?
00:02:23Yeah, she's in there.
00:02:24Good.
00:02:25How do I look?
00:02:26I see your balls.
00:02:28Hmm?
00:02:29Are you crazy?
00:02:30Come here.
00:02:30Come here.
00:02:30Up here.
00:02:31Up.
00:02:32What's the matter with you?
00:02:33What?
00:02:34This, this is the big idea?
00:02:35Yeah.
00:02:36Yeah.
00:02:36She's gonna love it.
00:02:37She's gonna hate it.
00:02:38She's gonna love it.
00:02:39No, she's gonna hate it.
00:02:40Love it.
00:02:40No, she's gonna hate it more than I hate it.
00:02:41And I really hate it.
00:02:42You know what your problem is, Ted?
00:02:44You just, you don't understand true love.
00:02:46Oh, you do.
00:02:48I understand that there's a girl that I love waiting for me in there.
00:02:50And you know what?
00:02:51She loves me, too.
00:02:54I still see balls.
00:03:03Buonasera.
00:03:05Can I get you a drink while you wait for your friend?
00:03:11Hopefully in a man's life you do this one time.
00:03:14Well, I want my one time to be unforgettable.
00:03:17I want tonight to be a story Vanessa and me will be telling our grandkids.
00:03:22You almost done with that baby oil?
00:03:24Yeah.
00:03:25That's it.
00:03:26Get it in there.
00:03:27Soak those abs.
00:03:29I'm gonna kill you.
00:03:30Thanks, buddy.
00:03:32What's up, ladies?
00:03:33Wow.
00:03:35There you go, beautiful.
00:03:36I brought you some sea rations on the house.
00:03:38Some what?
00:03:40Oh, sorry.
00:03:41That's a special forces talk.
00:03:43Are you in the special forces?
00:03:46That's not something I'm at liberty to discuss.
00:03:55Anderson, I sell cars.
00:03:56My job is to close the deal.
00:03:57Trust me.
00:03:58This is not gonna close the deal.
00:03:59Give me the ring, Ted.
00:04:01No.
00:04:01I can't let you do this.
00:04:03Give me the ring.
00:04:03No.
00:04:04Give me the ring now.
00:04:05No.
00:04:05Give me the ring now.
00:04:11No.
00:04:12Give me the ring.
00:04:19I'm not Galatia, Vanessa.
00:04:22Special ops.
00:04:25It's a deadly game.
00:04:28But as a very brave person once remarked,
00:04:31life is either daring or it's nothing.
00:04:36Do you know who that brave person was?
00:04:39My personal hero, Helen Keller.
00:04:47Helen Keller.
00:04:57Excuse me, Vanessa.
00:04:58I think table 16 needs more garlic knots.
00:05:09Ladies and gentlemen,
00:05:11may I have your attention, please?
00:05:14I am Cupid.
00:05:16God of love.
00:05:19Dear God!
00:05:21Shoot her!
00:05:22Shoot her!
00:05:22We gotta shoot her!
00:05:24Down!
00:05:25Everybody down!
00:05:26Down!
00:05:27Down!
00:05:27Down!
00:05:33Anderson!
00:05:34You know this perp?
00:05:35He's my boyfriend.
00:05:37I didn't know you had a boyfriend.
00:05:39Anderson!
00:05:40Get up!
00:05:41Get up!
00:05:42You could have gotten yourself killed!
00:05:46Vanessa, I wrote you a poem.
00:06:05I am Cupid.
00:06:07God of love.
00:06:10I come from skies far above.
00:06:13Bringing love to all I see.
00:06:17Now I have found some love for me.
00:06:19Fag.
00:06:21And...
00:06:22And...
00:06:23And so I get...
00:06:24On bended knee...
00:06:27To ask...
00:06:28Vanessa...
00:06:30Will you marry me?
00:06:31Oh!
00:06:33Oh!
00:06:39Oh!
00:06:40Oh!
00:06:42Oh!
00:06:42Oh!
00:06:43Oh!
00:06:43Oh!
00:06:45Oh!
00:06:45Oh!
00:06:46Oh!
00:06:48Oh!
00:06:48Oh, oh!
00:07:17Oh, my God!
00:07:20Curled up with nothing to do
00:07:26Whilst the sun always out
00:07:28But now I'm feeling blue
00:07:32It must be you
00:07:35Oh, it must be you
00:07:38It must be you
00:07:40Oh, it must be you
00:07:52When I took my first drink of alcohol
00:07:58I saw the angel of death floating over us all
00:08:05And with the smile on my face
00:08:07I just wept
00:08:11How does a grown man laugh
00:08:14In the face of death
00:08:17It must be you
00:08:20Oh, it must be you
00:08:23Oh, it must be you
00:08:26Oh, it must be you
00:09:11Oh, my God.
00:09:22Oh, my God.
00:09:54Oh.
00:09:58Hey, you hungry?
00:10:05Did I ever tell you what she smelled like?
00:10:08What?
00:10:09Dewdrops.
00:10:12She was perfect.
00:10:14Nobody's perfect.
00:10:14She was perfect.
00:10:15Nobody's perfect.
00:10:15Okay.
00:10:17Like, you know how most people have wrinkly knees?
00:10:20Okay?
00:10:21Hers are perfectly smooth, like billiard balls.
00:10:23You know what I used to call her?
00:10:24What?
00:10:25Billiard ball knees.
00:10:26You know what might be fun?
00:10:28Not talking about your dead girlfriend.
00:10:30Huh?
00:10:31I still see her sometimes.
00:10:33Here?
00:10:34Just forget it.
00:10:35You know, I'd like to, Anderson.
00:10:36I really would, but you won't shut up about it.
00:10:38She's been dead twice as long as you knew her.
00:10:40Get over it.
00:10:40Get over it?
00:10:41I'm sorry, get over it?
00:10:42Yeah.
00:10:43How do you get over perfection?
00:10:44How do you get over perfection?
00:10:45You look around.
00:10:47Maybe there's another perfect somebody out there.
00:10:49Oh, no.
00:10:59Here we go.
00:11:01Oh.
00:11:02Don't talk to him like that.
00:11:04That goddamn spaghetti.
00:11:05This is just what the therapist was talking about.
00:11:09I don't believe it.
00:11:10Who wanted to come here?
00:11:10Not me.
00:11:12Oh.
00:11:13I am so sorry.
00:11:14What did you just do?
00:11:16What did you do?
00:11:18Satisfied I looked around?
00:11:19Hmm?
00:11:21I'm just saying, don't throw your whole life away because you killed your girlfriend.
00:11:24Beyonce.
00:11:25Technically, she never said yes.
00:11:26Anyway, I don't know if you're going to find anyone else whose butt smells like gumdrops
00:11:30or whatever, but I know that you won't unless you try.
00:11:33So is that it?
00:11:34Is that it?
00:11:35Huh?
00:11:35You want me to try?
00:11:36One time.
00:11:36That's all I'm saying.
00:11:37One time.
00:11:38I try.
00:11:38You get off my back.
00:11:39You have my solemn word.
00:11:40Fine.
00:11:41Fine, Ed.
00:11:42I'll try.
00:11:44I'll try.
00:11:45Hey, can I get you guys anything else?
00:11:53Is there anything else I can get for you?
00:11:57Will you marry me?
00:12:01Excuse me?
00:12:02Will you marry me?
00:12:04Is it a bowline?
00:12:06Stuart, you're flapping.
00:12:07All right.
00:12:08Pigs?
00:12:08Three little pigs.
00:12:09A banjo and piggies.
00:12:12Deliverance!
00:12:13Oh, my God.
00:12:15It's like a machine.
00:12:16Oh, man.
00:12:17Oh, my God.
00:12:18You guys kill them.
00:12:19Okay.
00:12:20It's my turn, and it's a really good one.
00:12:22So I need you all to pay attention.
00:12:23Especially you, mon amour.
00:12:27Give me a little hand.
00:12:29Isn't he the cutest thing ever?
00:12:30Hey, I resent that.
00:12:32Isn't it getting kind of late, you guys?
00:12:34Oh, what's the matter, Cinderella?
00:12:36You're not going to turn into a pumpkin, are you?
00:12:40No, I know how to push your buttons or what?
00:12:43I'm pushing your buttons.
00:12:46Honey, baby, you're a charade, okay?
00:12:48I have to get up early tomorrow.
00:12:51Aye, aye, Captain.
00:12:52Okay.
00:12:53Oh, wait.
00:12:53We can't do this.
00:12:55Incoming.
00:12:56Here we go.
00:12:58Last one.
00:13:04Forward.
00:13:05First word.
00:13:05First word.
00:13:06Me.
00:13:08Shazam.
00:13:08William.
00:13:09William.
00:13:09William.
00:13:09Shorter.
00:13:10Willie.
00:13:11Will.
00:13:11Will.
00:13:12Will.
00:13:12Okay.
00:13:13Second word.
00:13:13Second word.
00:13:14Sounds like.
00:13:15Rockette.
00:13:15Can you think?
00:13:16Boot shoe.
00:13:17Shoe, you.
00:13:21Fourth word.
00:13:22Fourth word.
00:13:23Me.
00:13:24It's me again.
00:13:24Me.
00:13:25Will you blank me?
00:13:26Hey, buddy, there's ladies present.
00:13:28All right, well, you know, that's just tasteless, Stuart, for God's sake.
00:13:30Sorry.
00:13:31All right, will you blank me?
00:13:33Third word.
00:13:36Saunter.
00:13:38Marry?
00:13:39Stuart, he's proposing.
00:13:41Katie, will you marry me?
00:13:46Yes, yes, yes, she says yes.
00:13:49Honey?
00:13:50Katie.
00:13:51Katie.
00:13:53Katie.
00:13:55Honestly, Catherine, do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me last night?
00:13:59I didn't say no, Mom.
00:14:00I just said I needed to think about it.
00:14:02What's there to think about?
00:14:03That boy is a catch, and he's crazy about you.
00:14:05God knows why.
00:14:06Just tell me, what is it you want?
00:14:08Because William is perfect.
00:14:09For one thing, he's just about the most attractive orthodontist I think I've ever seen, and he's
00:14:13incredibly romantic.
00:14:14Mom, I know he's perfect.
00:14:15I just need a little time.
00:14:17Will you talk to her, Stuart?
00:14:18Not to toot my own horn, but William reminds me a lot of me when I was younger.
00:14:22Are you listening to your father?
00:14:23He's not my father.
00:14:25This man is more of a father to you than your father ever was, God rest his soul.
00:14:29Dad is not dead.
00:14:30He's dead to me, this son of a bitch.
00:14:31Don't talk about Dad that way.
00:14:33Don't you raise your voice to me.
00:14:34You're getting emotional, Laura.
00:14:35I am not getting emotional.
00:14:36All right, I am leaving this house in five minutes, and if you want to be on that bus,
00:14:41I suggest you pull yourself together.
00:14:47Sometimes I wonder if you still love him.
00:14:49Who?
00:14:51Dad.
00:14:51Are you crazy?
00:14:53Are you out of your mind?
00:14:54Well, you must have loved him once.
00:14:55Honey, I was 18 when I met your father, and about as dumb as a piece of ham.
00:15:01What did I know about love?
00:15:02All I knew was...
00:15:08He was the hottest thing that I had ever seen.
00:15:12Oh, he looked like a panther.
00:15:16A sex panther.
00:15:20Sounds like love to me.
00:15:21Well, there's a big difference between love and mindless, animalistic, carnal lust.
00:15:27And what do you have with Stuart?
00:15:30What I have with Stuart is what I want for you and William, a mature, stable relationship.
00:15:35But are you happy?
00:15:36Of course I'm happy.
00:15:38I'm very happy.
00:15:40I'm very, very happy.
00:15:42No, no, very happy.
00:15:45Very happy.
00:15:47I've got to go.
00:15:47The bus is here.
00:15:55Very happy.
00:16:14There she is.
00:16:16There's my beautiful girl.
00:16:18Hey, keep it down.
00:16:21I will eat your head.
00:16:23I will tear it off, shove it up your ass, pull it through your mouth, brush my teeth with
00:16:27it, and then eat it.
00:16:28I will eat it.
00:16:30Smitty.
00:16:30I'm not finished.
00:16:31Eat it!
00:16:34Dad.
00:16:35What?
00:16:36I apologize to him.
00:16:37Oh, come on.
00:16:39I'm serious, Dad.
00:16:40It's just rude.
00:16:42Now.
00:16:44Do it now, Dad.
00:16:49Hey, Dave.
00:16:51I'm sorry.
00:16:53Just, Smitty, I'm working on my appeal over here.
00:16:55I know, I know.
00:16:56I'm sorry.
00:17:00You see?
00:17:01That's why I love you so much, baby bear.
00:17:04You got your mother's good heart.
00:17:08What's wrong?
00:17:10No, nothing.
00:17:11William asked me to marry him.
00:17:13But that's good.
00:17:14That's what you wanted, no?
00:17:15Yeah.
00:17:18No.
00:17:20Oh, Dad, I don't know.
00:17:22I just...
00:17:24I mean, how are you supposed to know when you're with the right person?
00:17:29Just listen to your heart, baby bear.
00:17:32You'll know.
00:17:35Hey, do you know what I do when I'm feeling blue?
00:17:38Yeah.
00:17:39You drink homemade toilet wine.
00:17:41No.
00:17:42Well, yeah, but I also write in my gratitude journal.
00:17:46And every day, I write about the things that I have to be grateful for, like you and your mother.
00:17:53Oh, here.
00:17:55December 25th, Christmas Day.
00:17:59I am grateful that somebody finally stabbed that cocksucker Rodriguez.
00:18:03Dad.
00:18:08I'm going to say yes.
00:18:11Yes!
00:18:12I mean, we get along so well, right?
00:18:14He's so funny.
00:18:16He cracks me up, you guys.
00:18:20I'm going to say yes.
00:18:22That's great.
00:18:23Right, Matador?
00:18:24I think William's kind of a turd.
00:18:26Really?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:28But he's like a turd with a piece of candy in it.
00:18:35Nostrovia.
00:18:38Marriage isn't in our blood.
00:18:40We're circus folk.
00:18:41Gypsies roaming from big top to big top on the open road.
00:18:46You guys have been working in the diner since I've known you.
00:18:49Not in here, Katie.
00:18:51Not in here.
00:18:58Gentlemen.
00:19:01Observe.
00:19:02Hmm?
00:19:04Uh, can I get you guys, uh, anything else?
00:19:13Will you marry me?
00:19:15Excuse me?
00:19:16Will you marry me?
00:19:18Seriously.
00:19:19Think about it.
00:19:20What could possibly be more romantic than throwing away your entire life
00:19:24and running off with some handsome, dark-haired stranger you spotted across a restaurant?
00:19:32Uh, I'm sorry.
00:19:34He's had a lot of syrup.
00:19:37Okay.
00:19:38Okay, he's had a lot of syrup?
00:19:39Okay, I'll marry you.
00:19:44What?
00:19:45Yes.
00:19:47Yes.
00:19:49I'll marry you.
00:19:51Jane!
00:19:52Jane!
00:19:53Will you cover for me?
00:19:54Where are you going?
00:19:56I'm getting married!
00:19:58To this guy!
00:20:01Come on.
00:20:02Uh...
00:20:03Come on!
00:20:04Come on.
00:20:04Get out here.
00:20:05Got the pill.
00:20:15Oh, uh...
00:20:17Anderson.
00:20:18Oh, Katie.
00:20:19Katie.
00:20:20Hi.
00:20:21Hmm.
00:20:23Hmm.
00:20:26Two kisses.
00:20:29Hey, Greg.
00:20:30Watch this.
00:20:33Stick that arm up your ass!
00:20:48Got a brand new roof above my head All the empty boxes thrown away
00:20:58Can I ask you a question?
00:21:00Yeah, yeah.
00:21:01So, years from now, we're celebrating our 37th wedding anniversary.
00:21:06Oh.
00:21:08And, uh, and one of our friends asks us about our first date.
00:21:12Is this what we'll talk about?
00:21:14I guess it is.
00:21:15Yeah?
00:21:16Okay.
00:21:17And, uh, and then I'll tell them the funny part.
00:21:20What's the funny part?
00:21:22After we talked about it, you stepped in dog shit.
00:21:28Oh, I stepped in dog shit.
00:21:30Yeah.
00:21:30Why didn't you warn me?
00:21:31You could have warned me.
00:21:32That would have ruined the story.
00:21:33Ah, man.
00:21:35Can I have water?
00:21:36Oh, bad, bad, bad!
00:21:37Careful, careful, careful, careful.
00:21:48I've never been up here before.
00:21:51Yeah, it's a cool place to come if you want to get an old refrigerator filled with vomit.
00:21:56I wasn't looking for one of those.
00:21:58Yeah?
00:21:59Well, I think it's two for one day, so...
00:22:03Look what I've got.
00:22:07Tetanus?
00:22:13This is stupid.
00:22:15What?
00:22:16You know this.
00:22:17Us sitting up here pretending we're doing something.
00:22:19It's just stupid.
00:22:21It is, right?
00:22:22I mean, obviously we're not getting married.
00:22:24Obviously.
00:22:26Strangers don't get married.
00:22:27Well, in some cultures they do.
00:22:30They do?
00:22:31But not ours.
00:22:32Not ours.
00:22:32Other cultures.
00:22:33Far away cultures.
00:22:34The Kalahari Bushmen.
00:22:36It's one example.
00:22:37And my parents did.
00:22:38They did?
00:22:39They did.
00:22:39My mom barely knew my dad and she got pregnant with me and they eloped to this weird little
00:22:43place called the House of Wedded Bliss in Atlantic City.
00:22:46The House of Wedded Bliss?
00:22:48Yeah.
00:22:49Doesn't that sound incredibly romantic?
00:22:51Sounds like a bad Chinese takeout place.
00:22:57Yeah, well, I mean, just because they did doesn't mean that we are, right?
00:23:02You probably weren't even serious when you asked.
00:23:06Were you?
00:23:08Of course not.
00:23:13You see, that's what I'm talking about.
00:23:14I mean, this whole thing is just, it's stupid.
00:23:20Wait.
00:23:20I'm sorry.
00:23:21Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:23:22What's happening?
00:23:23I'm just such an idiot.
00:23:24Are you crying?
00:23:26No.
00:23:26Why are you crying?
00:23:29I am not crying.
00:23:33It really, it really looks like you're crying.
00:23:35Yeah, I'm crying now.
00:23:37Are you satisfied, you asshole?
00:23:41Hey, hey, hey.
00:23:42Hey.
00:23:44Hey.
00:23:44Hey, you.
00:23:46Hey.
00:23:48Hey.
00:23:50Hey.
00:23:51Hey.
00:23:54Are you okay?
00:23:57I can't remember the last time I did that.
00:24:00I don't think I've ever done that.
00:24:02Do you want a tissue?
00:24:04No, I'm fine.
00:24:05I feel incredible.
00:24:07Really?
00:24:08Why is that?
00:24:11You sure you don't want a tissue?
00:24:12No, I'm fine.
00:24:16Anderson, when you asked me to marry you,
00:24:19you probably picked the only girl in the whole world that would say yes.
00:24:23I don't think that's a coincidence.
00:24:24Do you?
00:24:26I don't know.
00:24:28Do you believe in fate?
00:24:30No.
00:24:31Neither do I.
00:24:32You see, this was meant to be.
00:24:34Will you marry me?
00:24:37You said yes?
00:24:38Yeah, well, why not?
00:24:39You know, I think this is exactly what I need to get my life back on track.
00:24:44I mean, why can't two strangers get married?
00:24:46I don't know, because it's retarded.
00:24:47Look, you said it yourself.
00:24:49You said I need to get back out there and meet people, right?
00:24:52Yeah, meet, meet, not marry.
00:24:53Why can't you just date her for a while like a normal human being?
00:24:56Look, don't worry, okay?
00:24:58It's not like we're getting married today.
00:25:00We talked about it, and we decided to take things slow.
00:25:03So what's next?
00:25:04She's moving in with me.
00:25:05I gotta go.
00:25:08Okay, well, good luck with that.
00:25:18I don't care why you hear this.
00:25:22I don't care if I'm alone here singing songs to myself.
00:25:37I don't care.
00:25:54William, I have some weird news. It's good news for me. I can't marry you. I'll explain
00:26:01everything later. I'm so sorry. I love you as a friend. Okay, bye.
00:26:18Can I leave a message for 9-9-1-3-8?
00:26:23Call a message, Smitty.
00:26:28It's for my daughter. She's getting married. Oh, yeah? I'm just too glad you're not going to be there to
00:26:35walk her down the aisle, big guy.
00:26:45Oh! What is this? I'm getting married. No, this. It's a diaphragm. I know what it is.
00:26:54Not in front of her. Please. It's her diaphragm. Stuart. Where are you going?
00:27:00I told you, I'm getting married. Oh! You said yes!
00:27:06Not to William. Not to William?
00:27:11He's named Anderson. I met him a couple of hours ago.
00:27:13A couple of hours ago? What kind of... What about William? What kind of name is Anderson?
00:27:18Use your head here, Katie. He's black, isn't he?
00:27:21I have to go. Don't you think you're being a little impulsive?
00:27:25Yes! That is exactly what I mean. And guess what? It feels great!
00:27:31You ready?
00:27:33Oh, my God.
00:27:34What?
00:27:35Hey there, dude. You must be Anderson.
00:27:38No. This is my friend Matador. He's just giving me a ride.
00:27:42I like your Jew hat.
00:27:51Bye, Mom.
00:27:53I'll bring him back for you to meet him tomorrow.
00:27:55Oh!
00:28:20Can you see?
00:28:22No. No problem. You know, this happens all the time.
00:28:25Bye, Mom.
00:28:26It's a good time all day.
00:28:37Bye, Mom.
00:28:40Bye, Mom.
00:28:45Bye.
00:28:46Bye.
00:28:47Bye.
00:28:48Bye.
00:28:59I don't know.
00:29:00I can't see!
00:29:00Just be patient!
00:29:02It's a pair of in a second!
00:29:04I can't run out!
00:29:06Whoa!
00:29:07Run out!
00:29:10Do the fuck?
00:29:20Oh my! Oh my!
00:29:23Oh my!
00:29:25I killed that fellow!
00:29:27I killed that fellow in my car!
00:29:33Oh my God, not again.
00:29:35Anderson?
00:29:38Vanessa?
00:29:42Anderson?
00:29:46Vanessa?
00:29:51Am I dead?
00:29:53You're just unconscious.
00:29:55Does it hurt?
00:29:57Not really.
00:29:59Ow!
00:30:00Now does it hurt?
00:30:00Ow!
00:30:01Ow!
00:30:02You're getting married?
00:30:03No!
00:30:04No, we're not getting married.
00:30:06We're just moving in together.
00:30:09I thought you loved me.
00:30:10I do, Vanessa, I do.
00:30:12I'll never love anybody but you.
00:30:15Really?
00:30:16Yeah, of course.
00:30:22Then dump her.
00:30:30Promise me, Anderson.
00:30:36I promise.
00:30:42Touch my lightsaber, Luke.
00:30:47Touch it!
00:30:49Oh, what is that?
00:30:50What is that?
00:30:50It's just the ice.
00:30:51Okay.
00:30:56Hello.
00:31:00Katie, would you like to make the introductions?
00:31:04Oh.
00:31:06I hit you with my car.
00:31:08This is Matador.
00:31:10Matador.
00:31:11Here.
00:31:12I got you a small gift.
00:31:15I didn't have time to wrap it.
00:31:19It's a Discman.
00:31:21This is my Discman.
00:31:24Did you take this from my drawer?
00:31:27Yes, I did.
00:31:30Okay.
00:31:32Uh, Matador.
00:31:34Could you do me a giant favor?
00:31:36Yeah.
00:31:37Is there some way that you could not press your balls into my shin?
00:31:44Can do.
00:31:47Yeah.
00:31:48Thanks.
00:31:50Are you okay?
00:31:52Well, I thought he was abrupt, but, um, I'll be fine.
00:32:01Yeah, I think.
00:32:03I think I'll be okay.
00:32:09Matador.
00:32:12Oh, yeah.
00:32:13I'm sorry.
00:32:14Very good.
00:32:15Okay.
00:32:17Take care now.
00:32:19I will.
00:32:21Oh, he seems nice.
00:32:23Does it hurt?
00:32:25Oh, I...
00:32:26No.
00:32:26It's fine.
00:32:27You're so brave.
00:32:28Listen.
00:32:29Listen.
00:32:30Katie.
00:32:31Where's your bedroom?
00:32:32Bedroom?
00:32:33Yeah, I need to put this somewhere.
00:32:35What's this?
00:32:36My clothes.
00:32:37Your clothes?
00:32:38Yeah, you know, for wearing.
00:32:40Oh, uh, clothes.
00:32:41Right.
00:32:42I thought you said clothes.
00:32:44Clothes.
00:32:45Clothes.
00:32:45And I was like that.
00:32:46Clothes.
00:32:46That's a weird thing.
00:32:47Pack.
00:32:47Uh, okay.
00:32:48Yep.
00:32:48You found the bedroom.
00:32:50Uh, so, yep.
00:32:53So, this is the bedroom.
00:32:55This is the bedroom.
00:32:55I should probably clean up a little.
00:32:57Good.
00:32:58Good.
00:32:58Uh, so, listen.
00:32:59I was thinking about everything and how great this is, but it's all happening so fast,
00:33:03and I was afraid that maybe you thought it was happening too fast.
00:33:07That's what makes it so exciting.
00:33:08Exactly.
00:33:09Exactly.
00:33:09That's what I was exactly going to say, because, personally, I couldn't be more thrilled.
00:33:13Well, you seem really nervous.
00:33:14Really?
00:33:15No.
00:33:15No, no, no.
00:33:16I don't...
00:33:16That's weird.
00:33:17I don't get nervous.
00:33:17I just, uh, expressed joy by sweating on me.
00:33:21Who's Vanessa?
00:33:23Who?
00:33:23You said Vanessa right before you passed out.
00:33:26I did.
00:33:27Oh.
00:33:28Is this her?
00:33:28No.
00:33:29Mm-mm.
00:33:30No, that's not her.
00:33:31I don't know who that is.
00:33:32That's, uh, that picture came with the frame.
00:33:34But you're in the picture.
00:33:37Mm-hmm.
00:33:38Yeah, there I am right there.
00:33:40I know.
00:33:41That's, it's because I used to do some modeling when I was younger.
00:33:44Really?
00:33:44Yes, I did.
00:33:45I did.
00:33:46Some, some picture frame modeling.
00:33:47Back when that whole regular guy phase was sweeping the picture frame modeling industry.
00:33:52Then he's so cool.
00:33:53Yeah, yeah.
00:34:04The telephone's ringing.
00:34:05Mm-hmm.
00:34:06Yeah.
00:34:10Should I get it?
00:34:12No, no, no, no.
00:34:13It's, it's my mom.
00:34:14I'll call her back.
00:34:14Oh, should I say hi?
00:34:16That's okay, you, no.
00:34:17No, really, it's weird.
00:34:18I mean, I should say hi, right?
00:34:19No, no, no, that's all.
00:34:20I got it.
00:34:20I got it.
00:34:21Hello?
00:34:22Uh, Mom?
00:34:23Hi.
00:34:23Hi.
00:34:25Oh, same old, same old.
00:34:26How are you guys?
00:34:27She wants to talk to me.
00:34:28I'm here.
00:34:30Yeah, listen, uh, no, it's, everything is, uh, everything is, everything is good.
00:34:36Yeah.
00:34:38Yeah.
00:34:39Love you.
00:34:40See you tomorrow, then.
00:34:44Bye-bye.
00:34:48How's Anderson?
00:34:50Fine, I guess.
00:34:50He says he has a surprise for us.
00:34:53He's coming over tomorrow.
00:34:55What's he doing tomorrow?
00:34:59Coming.
00:35:01He's what?
00:35:07Coming.
00:35:15I'm scared.
00:35:16I'm scared.
00:35:19Give me that little girl.
00:35:22I can't do it for you.
00:35:23Just a little girl.
00:35:24Just a little girl.
00:35:25Not a little girl.
00:35:27No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:32Uh, just a minute, just a minute.
00:35:58Like a liquor, come on and dip your dipper, show me what you're here for, guy.
00:36:09Anderson? Anderson?
00:36:11I'm in.
00:36:12Okay.
00:36:15Listen, listen, Katie, uh, I think you're really neat, okay?
00:36:19I do, but, but I, I just, I can't, I can't, because, uh, I made a promise to somebody,
00:36:26and, and, I think you're really neat.
00:36:30Oh, God.
00:36:44Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:36:54No, Anderson, it's okay.
00:36:56Turn around.
00:37:05So, uh, what did your mom say?
00:37:07Oh, yeah, um, well, she, um, I was thinking that we could, we could go over there and, and,
00:37:12and meet them before we...
00:37:14Get married?
00:37:16If you want to put a label on it.
00:37:19Great, because I told my mom we'd go over to visit her tomorrow, too.
00:37:22Great, that's great, uh-huh, mm-hmm.
00:37:25I, I was, I was thinking we could, um, we could take a bus over to my folks' house.
00:37:28I like buses.
00:37:29That's good, because, because it, it, it's a bus.
00:37:32It's a bus.
00:37:34Mm, minty.
00:37:38Well, that's toothpaste for you.
00:37:39That, that's just classic toothpaste.
00:37:44Oh, God.
00:37:47Oh, God.
00:37:47I, I, I, I'm sorry.
00:37:48I, I swallowed some.
00:37:49That's sorry.
00:37:50It's really burning.
00:37:51Do you want to go in there, the bathroom's right there.
00:37:52Where?
00:37:53Uh, yep, this way.
00:37:54Oh.
00:37:54Yes, yep, yep, yep, you got it.
00:37:56Maybe I should go out and, and get some saline solution.
00:37:59No, I'm fine.
00:38:00Yeah, but, uh, maybe, maybe I should go, you know, get, uh, some saline or eyedrops or something.
00:38:05No, really.
00:38:08I'll go get some saline.
00:38:11Oh, okay, okay, okay.
00:38:13Okay, slow down.
00:38:15What's the problem?
00:38:15I think she wants to have sex with me.
00:38:18I'm gonna call 911.
00:38:20Just, I'm so embarrassed.
00:38:21I mean, I feel like such an idiot.
00:38:23Maybe it just came on a little strong.
00:38:25Oh, God.
00:38:26A couple hours ago, she was moving in.
00:38:29You, all your problems were solved.
00:38:30Rainbows were shooting out of your ass.
00:38:32What happened?
00:38:32Nothing, nothing.
00:38:33She's great, she's great.
00:38:34It's just, uh, what?
00:38:36What, what, what would Vanessa say, huh?
00:38:39Oh, buddy.
00:38:40I was just trying to be spontaneous, you know?
00:38:42He probably thinks I'm such a freak.
00:38:45No, you, trust me, you're not a freak.
00:38:47Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:38:52I've got to go.
00:38:53He's here.
00:38:56Hi.
00:38:56Hi.
00:38:57Hi.
00:38:58Uh, they were out of saline, so I, I got you some Q-tips and some sick cream.
00:39:04So, you can do with that, won't you please?
00:39:09How's your head?
00:39:10Oh, I'm fine.
00:39:12Yeah, no, it's okay.
00:39:16My eye's fine.
00:39:18Right.
00:39:19How's your eye?
00:39:22It's fine.
00:39:23Good.
00:39:45Wow.
00:39:48Wowie.
00:39:50Wowie-dowie-doo.
00:39:54Do-wee, wowie, boobie.
00:39:59Well, I think we better get to bed.
00:40:02I think it's time for...
00:40:04I mean, not that kind of bed.
00:40:06Not that kind of bed.
00:40:07I mean, like, sleep at bed.
00:40:11Because I, you know, because you're I in my head.
00:40:14Well, if we have any more physical contact,
00:40:16I think one of us might actually die.
00:40:17So...
00:40:19So...
00:40:31So...
00:40:44So the weekend came and went...
00:40:47It's all right.
00:40:47I'm sorry.
00:40:48Sorry.
00:40:49Go back to sleep.
00:40:50I'm sorry.
00:40:51I'm sorry.
00:40:52I'm sorry.
00:40:53Sunday afternoon's a memory.
00:40:59She was just lying there, sleeping softly in a chair.
00:41:11Are you almost ready?
00:41:12I told Mom we'd be there in like half an hour.
00:41:15She's gonna love you.
00:41:19Fourth word.
00:41:22Um, you're holding hands.
00:41:25You're holding hands.
00:41:26You're with friends.
00:41:28You're skipping.
00:41:29Wizard of Oz!
00:41:30The Wizard of Oz!
00:41:34Diving?
00:41:35The Greg LeGayne story?
00:41:41Flashdance.
00:41:43Ta-da!
00:41:44Airplane!
00:41:48Him.
00:41:49Her.
00:41:50What a man loves a woman!
00:41:51Sound of music!
00:41:52Philadelphia!
00:41:54Deep throat!
00:41:54Deep throat!
00:41:56Oh, sorry.
00:41:58Oh, you know what?
00:41:59You know what, dear?
00:42:00We give up.
00:42:00Why don't you just tell us?
00:42:03That was the Apple Dumpling Gang.
00:42:05Oh.
00:42:11It's not an easy one, so...
00:42:14It was really good.
00:42:15Thanks, thanks.
00:42:16I'm sorry.
00:42:18I...
00:42:18Thanks.
00:42:18You're so good.
00:42:20I thought it...
00:42:20Yeah, it was hard.
00:42:21I thought it made sense.
00:42:22It was good.
00:42:23It was a tough one, so...
00:42:25Yeah.
00:42:25And then, a few years ago, I was in a toy store, and I had a thought.
00:42:30What if there was a line of stuffed animals specifically for Jewish children?
00:42:35And that's when the junicorn was born.
00:42:40Listen.
00:42:42Listen.
00:42:52Well, Anderson, what do you think?
00:42:58Wow.
00:43:00Wow.
00:43:02Um...
00:43:02I think it's...
00:43:03I think it's very, um...
00:43:10Specific.
00:43:13In a good way, of course.
00:43:16So, Anderson, what is it you do?
00:43:18Oh, Anderson's between jobs right now, Mom.
00:43:21Oh, he's between jobs.
00:43:22Yeah.
00:43:22I see.
00:43:23Huh.
00:43:23You know, maybe you'd like to go downstairs to the basement and see where Stuart makes all
00:43:28his little toys.
00:43:29Oh.
00:43:30Mom.
00:43:31No.
00:43:31Why?
00:43:32Oh, I think he'd be interested.
00:43:33Especially if you like googly eyes.
00:43:36As a matter of fact, I do like googly eyes.
00:43:38That does it.
00:43:39Follow me, young man.
00:43:41Santa's not the only one with a workshop.
00:43:43Wow.
00:43:44What do you think?
00:43:47I...
00:43:48I...
00:43:48I...
00:43:54What is this?
00:43:55Jewel-a-hoop.
00:43:58Doesn't really work.
00:44:00Kind of like you, right, Anderson?
00:44:01Ha-ha-ha-ha.
00:44:09William.
00:44:11I thought you two should speak.
00:44:16I've been here this whole time.
00:44:18I've been watching you with him.
00:44:19I mean, what do you even see in that loser?
00:44:22He doesn't even know how to do the Apple Dumpling Gang.
00:44:25Apple Dumpling Gang.
00:44:28Apple Dumpling Gang.
00:44:29That's the Apple Dumpling Gang, okay?
00:44:30That's the motherfucking Apple Dumpling Gang.
00:44:32Oh, God.
00:44:35William.
00:44:36You are really, really good at charades,
00:44:39and nobody can ever take that away from you.
00:44:42I had a whole life planned for us.
00:44:44You know, a big house.
00:44:46Three kids.
00:44:48Two boys and a girl.
00:44:49William.
00:44:49I know.
00:44:50Connor, Tanner, and Ashley.
00:44:52I'm sorry.
00:44:53I'm not gay.
00:44:56What?
00:44:57What?
00:45:01I think you should go.
00:45:03Oh, yeah.
00:45:04Okay.
00:45:05I'll go.
00:45:06But, uh,
00:45:07this ball isn't over, Cinderella.
00:45:09Because, oh.
00:45:11Oh.
00:45:13I'm still dancing.
00:45:14Oh.
00:45:15Oh.
00:45:16Do you hear me?
00:45:17I'm still dancing.
00:45:19Check it.
00:45:20I'm still dancing.
00:45:21Oh, still dancing.
00:45:22I'm a dancing fool.
00:45:23Yeah.
00:45:24Did you hear that?
00:45:25Uh-uh.
00:45:46Got it.
00:45:57Um, we should get going.
00:45:58Because we're going to see Anderson's parents.
00:46:01Um, I'll grab our jackets.
00:46:03Okay.
00:46:03Okay.
00:46:04Well, um,
00:46:06well, this has been fun.
00:46:08So thank you.
00:46:16I think they really liked you.
00:46:18I do.
00:46:19I could tell.
00:46:20Especially my mom.
00:46:21My mom loved you.
00:46:23Really?
00:46:24Yeah.
00:46:25Definitely.
00:46:26Because I got the impression she thought I was a loser.
00:46:29Why would you say that?
00:46:30Um, when you were in the bathroom, uh, your mom said she thought I was a loser.
00:46:40Um, I thought you were great.
00:46:43Really?
00:46:44Yeah.
00:46:45Really.
00:46:50Well, I think you're pretty great, too.
00:46:55Oh, sorry.
00:46:58Um, do you want to sit down?
00:47:00Okay.
00:47:01Thanks.
00:47:06Sure thing.
00:47:10May I?
00:47:13Aw.
00:47:24Wow.
00:47:27Anderson, you have to feel this.
00:47:30Uh, okay.
00:47:34Wow.
00:47:36I think I felt a kick.
00:47:37Do you mind, do you mind if I, uh, take a listen?
00:47:42Wow.
00:47:45When are you due?
00:47:47I'm not pregnant.
00:47:48This is my stop.
00:47:50Getting off, getting off, getting off.
00:47:52Excuse me.
00:47:53Sorry.
00:47:53Excuse me.
00:47:56Excuse me.
00:47:56Excuse me.
00:47:56Sorry.
00:47:57Sorry.
00:48:01I feel terrible.
00:48:03That's your fault.
00:48:04Okay.
00:48:04Your fault.
00:48:07I love you.
00:48:09I'm in love with you until I'm dead.
00:48:11And listen to amazing, super-duper things you say.
00:48:16I travel around the universe to make you understand
00:48:20That we've got to take this opportunity and take it fast.
00:48:26There's no time to waste.
00:48:28Cause it's a brand new day.
00:48:30I love my soul.
00:48:31Hey, there.
00:48:32Skipper.
00:48:32Hey.
00:48:34Who's a good-looking potato?
00:48:36Mom, Dad.
00:48:37I want you to meet Katie, my...
00:48:39Fiancee.
00:48:40Fiancee.
00:48:41Fiancee?
00:48:44Well...
00:48:46Congratulations!
00:48:48Hot dog!
00:48:50Hot dog, I say!
00:48:51Oh, boy, oh, boy.
00:48:54I think monitor approves, too.
00:48:56Yeah!
00:48:58The dog!
00:48:59Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:49:18Should we go inside?
00:49:28Got to hand it to you, Skipper. She's a peach.
00:49:33Yeah, I guess you think I'm being pretty foolish, huh?
00:49:35Why should I think that?
00:49:38Because I just met Katie and we hardly know each other?
00:49:40Nah, you got your whole lives to get to know each other.
00:49:44What if I don't like what I get to know?
00:49:45Oh, that's just nerves talking.
00:49:48I remember just before I got married, your grandpa and I walked our dog.
00:49:52Had a little conversation about the birds and the bees.
00:49:56I'll tell you, when he told me what he told me, I just about fell down.
00:50:00Yeah, yeah. I think I pretty much know everything about that stuff, Dad.
00:50:03Oh, of course you do, of course you do.
00:50:05You're a grown man. It's about time that I started treating you like one.
00:50:09So I guess I don't have to tell you what this is for.
00:50:16I've had this cock ring since my Navy days.
00:50:19I got it from a three-dollar whore in Shanghai.
00:50:23Wow, that's, um...
00:50:26That's a really nice...
00:50:30That's a nice ring.
00:50:32Cock ring, son.
00:50:33Cock ring?
00:50:34Yeah, I don't know what it is.
00:50:37Ever since I left the service, I've been having trouble with firing my torpedoes too soon.
00:50:43Yeah, if you take my meaning.
00:50:45I think I do, Dad.
00:50:46Premature ejaculation.
00:50:48Okay.
00:50:48Okay.
00:50:53Son, I want you to have it.
00:50:56I want you to have my cock ring.
00:51:04I don't know what to say.
00:51:16I'm sorry, Smitty.
00:51:18I just wanted to borrow your dirt devil.
00:51:46Dinner was terrific, Mrs. Wells.
00:51:48No, no, I won't have any of that. We're family now.
00:51:52I'd like you to call me Mommy.
00:51:57Okay.
00:51:59I suppose Anderson told you all about Vanessa.
00:52:01Oh, um, no, yeah. I mean, he did.
00:52:06Mommy.
00:52:08He really loved her.
00:52:10I suppose we all did.
00:52:13I thought of that girl as one of my own.
00:52:16Why did they break up?
00:52:19Break up? Oh, heavens.
00:52:21They didn't break up.
00:52:25She died.
00:52:27Poor little thing.
00:52:28Her heart just gave out the night he reposed.
00:52:32Oh, my God.
00:52:34Some folks around here blame Anderson the way he surprised her and all.
00:52:37I know I do.
00:52:40When she went, it just about tore this family apart.
00:52:43There were nights I thought about sticking Daddy's service revolver in my mouth
00:52:47and pulling the trigger just so I could be with her in heaven.
00:52:51Mrs. Wells, I'm not trying to take Vanessa's...
00:52:53Don't you say her name.
00:52:56I will cut you.
00:52:59We're home, Mother.
00:53:00Where are you girls hiding?
00:53:02We're just having a little girl talk, Daddy.
00:53:06Oh, it was your walk, sweetheart.
00:53:09Very nice.
00:53:10Hi, honey.
00:53:12I don't know what you said to my mom, but whatever it was, it worked.
00:53:17She loved you.
00:53:18And believe me, my mom is not always as sweet as she looks.
00:53:22Really?
00:53:22No, really.
00:53:23Yeah, no, it's hard to believe.
00:53:26Don't you have anything you want to tell me?
00:53:29Yeah.
00:53:32Yeah.
00:53:34There is.
00:53:38You look really nice tonight.
00:53:42You're a real jerk.
00:53:47Are we about to have our first fight?
00:53:49Because if we are, you think we can finish it before we get to your friend's house?
00:53:54Or it could wait.
00:53:56I just don't understand.
00:53:58Why didn't you tell me about Vanessa when I asked?
00:54:01Who's Vanessa?
00:54:02She was my girlfriend.
00:54:03He's fiance.
00:54:05Okay, technically she never said yes.
00:54:06She died.
00:54:08Did you kill her?
00:54:09No.
00:54:11That's not what your mother says.
00:54:13Look, I was gonna tell you, okay?
00:54:15Okay?
00:54:15But...
00:54:15But what?
00:54:16I mean, you're still in love with her?
00:54:25You're in love with a dead girl, you freak.
00:54:29Freak?
00:54:30Freak.
00:54:30I'm the freak?
00:54:32I'm the freak?
00:54:32What kind of person accepts a marriage proposal from a complete stranger?
00:54:36Freak.
00:54:36Well, what kind of a person asks, freak?
00:54:39Stop calling me freak.
00:54:39Stop being one, you freak.
00:54:41Okay, okay.
00:54:42I don't care what you think about me.
00:54:44Just leave her out of it.
00:54:45Her?
00:54:46Her?
00:54:47You can't even say her name.
00:54:49It's Vanessa, you asshole.
00:54:51And she's dead.
00:54:52Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
00:54:55Dead!
00:54:55Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead,
00:55:02dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead,
00:55:03dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead,
00:55:04dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead,
00:55:06dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead,
00:55:19dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead
00:55:27I wouldn't even care, but now you're here to see
00:55:37It comes as no surprise
00:55:42Just leave the light on
00:55:53What I wouldn't give if you could have it all
00:56:02The sun's going down, the bed that breaks the ball
00:56:13Cradle and the bow
00:56:17So you can take comfort now
00:56:26You can take comfort now
00:56:40Hey
00:56:42Hey
00:56:43We split up to look for you
00:56:59You know, when I was a kid, I didn't have many friends
00:57:03You're kidding
00:57:04Nope, it's the truth
00:57:06I don't know why
00:57:09Perhaps because I was into different things than the other kids
00:57:12Acrobat, strongman, makeup, that sort of thing
00:57:15Right, that sort of thing
00:57:17But I didn't let it bother me, you know, because I knew what I love
00:57:20The circus?
00:57:27You know, the circus is a lot like love
00:57:31Oh? How so?
00:57:32Well, if it's a good one, if it's a really good one
00:57:36It's beautiful and terrifying
00:57:40And magical all at the same time
00:57:44Huh
00:57:45And you wouldn't give up on the circus just because once in a while
00:57:48A girl falls off the high wire
00:57:51Snaps her neck
00:57:54Oh, dead girls
00:57:56Sensitive subject
00:57:59I'm sorry
00:58:07Morning
00:58:16It's an escape
00:58:18Honey
00:58:19Honey?
00:58:19Yahoo!
00:58:28Nothing
00:58:31I thought maybe you could open it for me
00:58:35Oh
00:58:35Stuart?
00:58:38Stuart?
00:58:40Hi
00:58:41Hiya, little bear
00:58:43What the hell are you doing here?
00:58:45Stuart, honey, are you okay?
00:58:46Ducky
00:58:47Smitty
00:58:48What did you do?
00:58:50You think I would miss walking my little girl down that aisle?
00:58:53Where is she?
00:58:54Ran off with her loser boyfriend
00:58:56Hey!
00:58:57You shut up, alright, pal?
00:58:58Did she say where she was going?
00:59:02No
00:59:03No, no, no
00:59:04No, get away
00:59:07Oh, my God
00:59:10Oh
00:59:10Oh
00:59:15Hey
00:59:19Hey
00:59:20Hey
00:59:20Hey
00:59:21This is all your fault
00:59:22You chased her away
00:59:24Lois, please
00:59:24You're getting emotional
00:59:25Emotional?
00:59:26You're right
00:59:27I'm getting good and goddamned emotional
00:59:29And what the hell are you going to do about it
00:59:30You tiny, tiny man
00:59:31Easy, little bear
00:59:32Easy
00:59:33You spineless little noodle
00:59:34Easy, easy, little bear
00:59:35Come on
00:59:36Let's go find our baby
00:59:38All right, let me go get dressed
00:59:40Big bear
00:59:41Let me help a little bit
00:59:43Oh
00:59:54Hey
00:59:58What's that?
00:59:59Nothing
01:00:19Hey
01:00:19You never gave me a key
01:00:22Right
01:00:28I just need to pack up my shit
01:00:29And you'll never see me again
01:00:47Can I get a taxi, please?
01:00:49What is the address?
01:00:51Six New Lane
01:00:52Six New Lane
01:00:53Apartment
01:00:54Don't go
01:00:55Apartment
01:00:58What?
01:00:59I like you and I don't want you to go
01:01:03Hold on
01:01:05What did you say?
01:01:06I like you and I don't want you to go
01:01:07You don't like me
01:01:09Don't tell me who I like
01:01:10Screw you
01:01:12Screw you
01:01:12Screw you
01:01:13No, screw you
01:01:14God, you're impossible
01:01:15You
01:01:16You are pig-headed
01:01:17You are stubborn
01:01:18You
01:01:18What?
01:01:19You don't even warn a guy
01:01:21When he's about to step in dog shit
01:01:22What is that?
01:01:23Ever since I met you
01:01:23I've been a total wreck
01:01:24Even more of a wreck than usual
01:01:25And screw you
01:01:26I like you
01:01:27Yeah, well, you're a liar
01:01:28And you have horrible morning breath
01:01:31And you could never have made it
01:01:33As a picture frame model
01:01:35It is so cutthroat
01:01:36And so competitive
01:01:37And ever since I met you
01:01:39I've been feeling completely crazy
01:01:41And I like you too
01:01:44Okay
01:01:45Okay
01:01:48Okay
01:01:49Okay, so we like each other
01:01:53Now what?
01:01:57Let's go
01:01:59Really?
01:01:59Where?
01:02:00Trust me
01:02:00Where are we going?
01:02:01Let's go
01:02:04Please
01:02:05No
01:02:05Please
01:02:06No
01:02:06Please
01:02:07No
01:02:08Doesn't one of them have a car?
01:02:10No, not one that'll make it
01:02:11No, I'm not doing this
01:02:20I'm going to lose my job
01:02:21You hate your job
01:02:22Yeah, but that and my thumbs
01:02:24Are the only things
01:02:24Separating me from the animals
01:02:28Besides, I could get arrested
01:02:29I am not doing this
01:02:30And I'm not going to feel bad about it
01:02:32And there's nothing you can say
01:02:33To change my mind
01:02:37Hey
01:02:39Taking the test drive, huh?
01:02:52May I drive?
01:02:55No
01:02:58Okay
01:02:59Love is a game for tip to play
01:03:02Don't go wishing your life away
01:03:05Come on now
01:03:08The race ain't run
01:03:11Love is a game
01:03:14Games can be fun
01:03:18Love is a game for two to win
01:03:21Walking around with a great big grin
01:03:23Come on now
01:03:25Take a run at the sun
01:03:29We're taking the call, honey!
01:03:55Do you know where she might go to get married?
01:03:57Only one place she would go
01:03:59Come on now
01:04:02With the deal I ain't done
01:04:05Love is a game
01:04:08Games can be fun
01:04:12And pretty soon you'll find yourself
01:04:15Hopping, skipping and jumping
01:04:19Turn on some salts
01:04:21With that heart of thump, thump, thump
01:04:24And love is a game for tip to play
01:04:27Don't go wishing your life away
01:04:30Don't go wishing your life away
01:04:30Come on now
01:04:31Love, love, love
01:04:32Love is a game
01:04:32The sun ain't sun
01:04:33Love, love, love
01:04:35The name of the game
01:04:35Love is a game
01:04:38Games can be fun
01:04:41Love is a game
01:04:44Games should be fun
01:04:47Love is a game
01:04:50Games can be fun
01:04:58Games can be fun
01:04:58Hey, what do you think?
01:04:59Nice
01:05:00Hey, so what's their deal?
01:05:02Are they like a thing?
01:05:03Like weirdo and weirdette?
01:05:05No, no, they're just roomies
01:05:08What about you and Anderson?
01:05:10Oh yeah, we make out once in a while
01:05:13Hey, we've been friends since 7th grade, homeroom
01:05:16We entered a talent show together as Wayne and Garth
01:05:19I was Garth
01:05:21Well, you guys must be pretty close if you're willing to steal a car for him
01:05:25We did not steal a car, we're just on a very, very long test ride
01:05:30Hey, can I ask you a question?
01:05:32Sure
01:05:33Well, you know, he's had a pretty tough last year
01:05:42Ted, I'm not going to hurt him
01:05:46Yeah, because he's an idiot, you know
01:05:48But he's my best friend
01:05:51Someone's got to watch his back
01:05:58Hey
01:05:59Hey
01:06:02Hello
01:06:03That's it?
01:06:04That's all you have to say to me?
01:06:05Hello?
01:06:07Hello, stranger
01:06:08Well, I won't be such a stranger when I detach your bicuspids from your alveolus
01:06:13Pardon?
01:06:17You ass-clamber!
01:06:20You ruined my life!
01:06:22Please tell me who you are!
01:06:23Please tell me who you are!
01:06:25I'm the Grim Reaper, ass-clam
01:06:27William!
01:06:29William!
01:06:30William!
01:06:31What are you doing?
01:06:32I'm exacting my vengeance!
01:06:36Again, Katie, would you like to make the introductions?
01:06:41Anderson, this is William, my...
01:06:43Wife!
01:06:43Wife!
01:06:43I'm her wife!
01:06:44I mean, she's my wife!
01:06:46To be!
01:06:47We're engaged!
01:06:48What?
01:06:50You didn't tell him?
01:06:52I asked her to marry me three days ago
01:06:55I never said yes
01:06:56You accepted a balloon bouquet for me
01:06:57And in court of law, that's the same thing as saying yes
01:06:59I don't think that's true
01:07:01Is there a problem here, folks?
01:07:04Oh, no, there's no problem here, officer
01:07:06This is him
01:07:07And he said he was just going for a test drive, see?
01:07:10Oh, excuse me
01:07:22You folks move along now, alright?
01:07:25Okay, officer
01:07:26Thanks, we're gonna get going
01:07:28Bye
01:07:37Oh, my
01:07:42This could be really bad
01:07:46Hi, Mom
01:07:48That's where I am
01:07:51Oh, my word
01:07:56What is it, Mother?
01:07:58Anderson's in trouble
01:07:59It's that girl, I just know it
01:08:03Alright, you two are gonna have to cut it short
01:08:07Haven't we taught that boy values?
01:08:09There's lemonade in the fridge
01:08:18Welcome to Tuxedo Depot
01:08:20I'm Bill, I'll be your conductor
01:08:21How can I help you reach your formal wear destination?
01:08:24You can help me by shutting up, Bill
01:08:26This is a stick-up
01:08:28We don't want your money
01:08:38What do you think?
01:08:39I think you look great
01:08:41Doesn't he look great?
01:08:42Yeah, he looks great
01:08:43Oh, yeah, great
01:08:44In fact
01:08:46Pizza
01:08:47Gotcha
01:08:47Pizza
01:08:49You're under arrest
01:09:11So, um
01:09:13Katie tells me, uh
01:09:14You know, you're some sort of circus
01:09:17Break
01:09:20Yeah, I think that's the word she used
01:09:23Yeah, I guess there aren't a lot of girls
01:09:25That spend their weekends learning how to breathe fire
01:09:28No
01:09:31How do you breathe fire?
01:09:34Well
01:09:35It's like the old saying
01:09:37You just
01:09:38Pucker your lips in the blow
01:09:43And
01:09:44And
01:09:44And then, of course, you try not to inhale the propellant
01:09:46Because you can collapse along
01:09:49Yeah
01:09:50All units, all units
01:09:5110-16 in progress
01:09:5210-16 at Tuxedo Depot
01:09:54Damn it
01:09:55Alright, we're moving out of here real slow
01:09:57Nobody say nothing
01:09:58Nobody do nothing
01:09:59Nobody gets hurt
01:09:59Thank you
01:10:00You've been very nice
01:10:28You've had a tough couple of days, huh?
01:10:32Aside from being hit by a car
01:10:34And assaulted by an orthodontist
01:10:36Hasn't been too bad
01:10:38I'm sorry about William
01:10:40He's usually a nice guy
01:10:42You know, it's
01:10:43It's funny
01:10:44It's funny you say that
01:10:45Because I remember thinking
01:10:45As he was kicking me in the face
01:10:47Hey, this guy is pretty nice
01:10:49I'll shut up
01:10:52You know, I just think
01:10:55Maybe the world is trying to tell us something
01:10:59Well, like what?
01:11:01Like maybe you can't look across a crowded restaurant
01:11:04And find the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with
01:11:09Hey, you didn't read me
01:11:10Well, I thought I'd have to do it
01:11:11Not my problems, don't you the judge
01:11:13Hey, she's wearing the front here
01:11:14She had a space heater, man
01:11:15I demand to be murdered
01:11:16Oh, my God!
01:11:17Oh, my God!
01:11:18Holy shit!
01:11:19Mom!
01:11:20Katie!
01:11:20Baby bear!
01:11:21Dad!
01:11:22Anderson!
01:11:23This is my dad!
01:11:25Hi!
01:11:26Hi!
01:11:27Nice to meet you
01:11:29Excuse me, Joan
01:11:30What are you doing here?
01:11:31We stole a car!
01:11:33Allegedly, allegedly
01:11:34Holy, pipe down!
01:11:37This guy's fugitive ass is going back to the big house
01:11:39I'm sorry, your dad's a fugitive?
01:11:41Yep
01:11:42Okay, all right, come on, let's go
01:11:44Daddy!
01:11:49Mom, Dad
01:11:50Oh, my God
01:11:51Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
01:11:52Who the hot springs are you people?
01:11:54We're his parents
01:11:56Hey
01:11:57Nice to see you again, Katie
01:11:58Hi
01:12:00Mommy
01:12:01Mommy
01:12:02Mom, Dad?
01:12:03These are Katie's parents
01:12:05Why are Katie's parents in the hoose cow?
01:12:08Yeah, Mom
01:12:09He kidnapped me
01:12:11He kidnapped me from my Stuart
01:12:14What are you talking about?
01:12:15Ow!
01:12:15Oh, baby, what are you doing?
01:12:18No!
01:12:18Daddy, no!
01:12:20Back me up
01:12:20No, no!
01:12:21That's okay!
01:12:23Ow!
01:12:25Ow!
01:12:25Ow!
01:12:26That ain't good
01:12:26All right, freeze!
01:12:28Whoa!
01:12:29You freeze!
01:12:30Whoa!
01:12:31What?
01:12:31No, are you?
01:12:32Lady, put down the peace
01:12:33Put down the peace
01:12:34I will blow you away
01:12:36I will steal your blood
01:12:37I will violate your bodily organs
01:12:39with tempered steel
01:12:40Put down the care
01:12:41Now!
01:12:42Put the gun down
01:12:43Put down the gun down
01:12:44Put down the gun now
01:12:58Give me the keys
01:12:58Give me those keys
01:12:59Right now and get over there
01:13:00Oh, come on
01:13:03Go on
01:13:05Go on
01:13:06Go on
01:13:09We're not going anywhere!
01:13:12My son is not going to be an accessory to a felony.
01:13:15Will you get a load of this one?
01:13:17My son's too good for felonies, you snobby bitch.
01:13:19Lady, I have half a mind to stick my boot right up your cooter.
01:13:22What?
01:13:32Katie.
01:13:34Katie, what are you doing?
01:13:37Um, I don't know.
01:13:38Oh, these past few days, I haven't really had any idea what I'm doing, Anderson.
01:13:44But what I'm realizing is I'm standing here shooting a stolen gun,
01:13:49which, by the way, is pretty cool.
01:13:51Oh!
01:13:52Um, what I'm realizing is that I don't care
01:13:56as long as I can keep doing it with you, Anderson.
01:14:00Because I think you can.
01:14:03I think you can look across a crowded restaurant
01:14:06and fall in love with a grubby stranger.
01:14:09And I think love can be instantaneous and insane.
01:14:16So, Anderson,
01:14:18for the last time, I'm asking you...
01:14:22Will you marry me?
01:14:25Yes.
01:14:26Yes.
01:14:26Yes.
01:14:27Yeah.
01:14:28Yes.
01:14:30Yes.
01:14:31Yes.
01:14:34Yes!
01:14:34Thanks!
01:14:36Yeah!
01:14:37So, no, no, no.
01:14:40We got one.
01:14:47Thank you!
01:14:48Thank you!
01:14:48It's gotta go!
01:14:48Yeah, it's gotta go!
01:14:49Oh, let's go!
01:14:50Oh, oh, oh!
01:14:51Take the van.
01:14:52The key's on the hill.
01:14:53Take the van.
01:14:53Take the van.
01:14:57Here you go, girl.
01:15:03Don't stop believing.
01:15:05Believe.
01:15:07You gotta believe.
01:15:10Oh, you gotta believe.
01:15:14Got to believe.
01:15:17Oh, yeah.
01:15:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:15:25You gotta believe.
01:15:34How do you feel, nervous?
01:15:35No, I feel good.
01:15:43So let me ask you, when you met this guy, did you know?
01:15:51Yeah, I guess I did.
01:15:55I love you, Daddy.
01:15:56I love you too, baby girl.
01:16:00Look at me crying like a jailhouse bitch.
01:16:06Stop it.
01:16:19Take care of my baby, Will.
01:16:20I will.
01:16:26Because if you don't, they'll never find you.
01:16:38My name is Dr. Favreau, and on behalf of my family, I'd like to welcome y'all to the House
01:16:46of Wedded Bliss.
01:16:47A couple who marries here, I personally guarantee that's a marriage that's going to last for life.
01:16:56And we never forget a face.
01:16:59Ain't that right, Lois and Smitty?
01:17:01No.
01:17:04Now, on to the business at hand.
01:17:07Anderson, do you take this woman to be your wife?
01:17:21Do you?
01:17:24Anderson?
01:17:32Sorry, I don't.
01:17:34Vanessa, when I met you, I thought you were perfect.
01:17:37And you are.
01:17:38I mean, I mean, look at you.
01:17:42But then I met Katie, and she's perfect for me.
01:17:50Sorry.
01:17:52Are you heartbroken?
01:17:53You're heartbroken.
01:17:53Anderson, I want you to meet somebody.
01:17:57You remember Morty, right?
01:17:59Shooter, shooter.
01:17:59We gotta shoot her.
01:18:01He killed himself after I died.
01:18:03Isn't that so romantic?
01:18:05I couldn't without her, dude.
01:18:07I know, we just met.
01:18:09But she's the one.
01:18:11You know what I mean?
01:18:13Yeah, I think I do.
01:18:15Listen, babe, we gotta blow.
01:18:16I'll be in the Humvee.
01:18:21Bye.
01:18:29Do you want to get back to your wedding now, son?
01:18:38I do.
01:18:43Son, you gotta wait till you say, I do.
01:18:47Uh, uh, son.
01:18:53I do.
01:18:54I do.
01:18:55I do.
01:18:55You gotta ring?
01:18:56Because if you don't, we have some splendid ones in the gift shop for $19.95.
01:19:00No, no, no, no.
01:19:01I have a ring.
01:19:05Uh.
01:19:08I have another.
01:19:09I have another ring.
01:19:12Remember this?
01:19:27By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.
01:19:36I do.
01:19:37Everybody's gonna love today.
01:19:38Gonna love today.
01:19:39Gonna love today.
01:19:40Everybody's gonna love today.
01:19:42Gonna love today.
01:19:43Any way you want to.
01:19:45Any way you've got to.
01:19:47Oh.
01:19:47Love, love me. Love, love me. Love, love me. Love, love me.
01:19:54All right, freeze.
01:19:56I mojacked your ass. That's him right there. Arrest him. Arrest him.
01:19:59Arrest him.
01:20:00All right, okay. Look, that is my ear, my friend.
01:20:03Sorry.
01:20:03How would you like it?
01:20:04If I did that for you!
01:20:06I said I'm sorry.
01:20:08All righty.
01:20:09On a personal note, I understand we have some newlyweds here?
01:20:15Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
01:20:18I'd like to offer the congratulations of myself and the whole team.
01:20:23Thank you very much. Thank you.
01:20:29Uh-oh!
01:20:30We didn't know where you were registered.
01:20:32Oh, wow. It's a blender.
01:20:35I had some help picking it out.
01:20:38William?
01:20:40I realized something today, Katie.
01:20:42No matter how hard you try to plan your life,
01:20:45life has a plan for you all its own.
01:20:49Good luck.
01:20:51Thank you, guys.
01:20:52Guys, thank you.
01:20:54Why is he hugging the cop?
01:20:55Okay.
01:20:56Well...
01:20:56Okay, guys.
01:20:57It's very nice.
01:20:59No, seriously.
01:20:59Why is he hugging the cop?
01:21:00All right.
01:21:04On a professional note,
01:21:06y'all are under arrest.
01:21:08Right.
01:21:08Uh, just, um,
01:21:10considering we might not all be together again for quite some time,
01:21:13Katie and I were hoping to get a picture
01:21:14before we all go off to the big house.
01:21:16Uh...
01:21:17Great idea.
01:21:17Yeah.
01:21:18Great idea.
01:21:19You want me to do it?
01:21:20Would you?
01:21:21Oh, come on!
01:21:22Hey, you know, you got...
01:21:23You are walking on thin ice here, my friend.
01:21:26You are on very thin ice.
01:21:30Let me see.
01:21:32Don't forget to push the button for the flag.
01:21:34Get in here, guys.
01:21:35Get in here, guys.
01:21:36Okay.
01:21:37Get in here.
01:21:38Could y'all just scoot you in a little?
01:21:40One.
01:21:42Two.
01:21:43Three.
01:21:45I love love.
01:21:47I love being in love.
01:21:49I don't care what it does to me.
01:21:52Take these tatter boxes
01:21:54They used to hold you close.
01:21:56Break them down.
01:21:57Build them back up with your bones.
01:22:00Now all you do is construct a mess.
01:22:02You're good to me when only flush your memory
01:22:05with nothing to show.
01:22:08When we would take trips,
01:22:09we saw we'd never take pictures.
01:22:12Pictures only prove you can't...
01:22:15Well, now at least those photographs
01:22:17could convince you
01:22:19that what we have
01:22:20would only turn out a negative.
01:22:22Well, well, well.
01:22:24If fingertips are relationships
01:22:27that I could barely carry away.
01:22:31If fingers are mistakes,
01:22:34don't use this one to point the blame.
01:22:37No, just sing.
01:22:39Sing.
01:22:40I love love.
01:22:42I love being in love.
01:22:44I don't care what it does to me.
01:22:47These pills find a passage
01:22:49time to lock my mind a drug.
01:22:52Then we'll take our chances.
01:22:54We'll ask them on.
01:22:56We'll never speak again.
01:22:58How long?
01:22:59We'll be getting in love.
01:23:01I love being in love.
01:23:15Don't pick up the line.
01:23:17You just have a good time.
01:23:19You don't need it.
01:23:20You need to be seen.
01:23:23Someone else can treat you wrong
01:23:25So you, my love, can sing this song.
01:23:28I love love.
01:23:29I love being in love.
01:23:32I don't care what it does to me.
01:23:34It'll be pills.
01:23:36Find a passer time
01:23:37till I find my new drug.
01:23:39We'll take advantage.
01:23:41I'll claim that's what I want
01:23:42To be the new statistic
01:23:44How I love how
01:23:47I love how
01:23:49I love being in love
01:23:58Take these tattered boxes
01:24:00They used to hold your clothes
01:24:02Break them down
01:24:03Build them back up
01:24:04With your bones
01:24:05Now all you do
01:24:07Is construct a mess
01:24:08You're dead to me
01:24:09If love is death
01:24:10You're a memory
01:24:11With nothing to show
01:24:12Well, well, well
01:24:14Your fingertips are
01:24:17Relationships there
01:24:18Well, maybe I could use a break
01:24:21She smiles
01:24:23She points at me
01:24:24She says
01:24:25Baby, I love how you sing
01:24:29Suggesting thing
01:24:30I love love
01:24:32I love being in love
01:24:35I don't care what it does to me
01:24:37I love love
01:24:40I love being in love
01:24:42I don't care what it does to me
01:24:45It'll be pills
01:24:47Find a passer time
01:24:48Till I find my new drug
01:24:50And we'll take our chances
01:24:52We'll rise above
01:24:53We'll last a billion
01:24:55How
01:24:56I love how
01:24:58I love how
01:25:00I love being in love
01:25:02It's just me and my puppy
01:25:05Together we're so very happy
01:25:09And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:25:13No, I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:25:18It's just me and my honey
01:25:22Together we're so very funny
01:25:25And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:25:30No, I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:25:33And nothing will be taken from my hands now
01:25:40With any resistance from me
01:25:45Nothing can last
01:25:46How can I pass
01:25:49On love and understanding
01:25:52Oh, it's just me and my guitar
01:25:58Together we'll go so very far
01:26:01And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:26:06No, I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:26:27Here we go now
01:26:28That'd be on
01:26:30That'd be on
01:26:42And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:26:45Nothing will be taken from my hands now
01:26:49With any resistance from me
01:26:53Nothing can last
01:26:55How can I pass
01:26:57On love and understanding
01:27:00Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's just me and the chance
01:27:06Together we will be the chance
01:27:09And the bitter world won't break us down, no
01:27:15I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:27:18I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:27:21I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:27:25And I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:27:33I'm looking on the bright side of things
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