- 1 year ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me, sing.
00:00:21I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me.
00:00:30I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me, sing.
00:00:52I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me.
00:00:55I love love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me, sing.
00:01:00I love being in love, I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me.
00:01:02I love being in love.
00:01:04May I help you?
00:01:05Huh?
00:01:06No.
00:01:08Thank you very much.
00:01:09I'm just browsing.
00:01:11So, let me guess.
00:01:13Big night tonight?
00:01:14Yeah.
00:01:15Yeah?
00:01:16yeah yeah yeah actually actually the biggest really yeah menage a trois pardon me i'm kidding
00:01:25oh menage a trois french for uh who's that dude
00:01:33so you're looking for something for your girl well not just any girl okay the most the most beautiful
00:01:40and incredible and amazing and well girl i've ever met okay well if you have any questions
00:01:49my name is claire okay actually yeah um does this come in red i can check oh also claire um does it
00:01:57come any larger yeah much much larger
00:02:10hey is she in there yeah she's in there how do i look i see your balls
00:02:27are you crazy come here come here up here up what's the matter with you what this this is the big
00:02:35idea yeah yeah she's gonna love it she's gonna hate it she's gonna love it no she's gonna hate it love
00:02:40it no she's gonna hate it more than i hate it and i really hate it you know what your problem is ted
00:02:44you just you don't understand true love oh you do i understand that there's a girl that i love
00:02:49waiting for me in there and you know what she loves me too i still see balls
00:02:57i want to set up can i get you a drink while you wait for your friend
00:03:11hopefully in a man's life you do this one time well i want my one time to be unforgettable
00:03:17i want tonight to be a story vanessa and me will be telling our grandkids
00:03:20you almost done with that baby oil yeah that's it get it in there soak those abs
00:03:29i'm gonna kill you thanks buddy what's up ladies
00:03:35there you go beautiful i brought you some sea rations on the house some what oh sorry that's a
00:03:42special forces talk are you in the special forces that's not something i'm at liberty to discuss
00:03:50the
00:03:55anderson i sell cars my job is to close the deal trust me this is not going to close the deal
00:03:59give me the ring ted no i can't let you do this give me the ring give me the ring now no give me the
00:04:06ring
00:04:12give me the ring i just want the ring i got the purpose okay watch the wings watch the wings
00:04:17i'm not galatia vanessa special ops it's a deadly game
00:04:28but as a very brave person once remarked life is either daring
00:04:34or it's nothing do you know who that brave person was
00:04:38my personal hero helen keller
00:04:45helen keller
00:04:57excuse me vanessa i think table 16 needs more garlic knots
00:05:08hmm ladies and gentlemen may i have your attention please i am cupid god of love
00:05:19dear god shooter shooter we gotta shoot her down everybody down down
00:05:26down down down oh anderson you know this burp he's my boyfriend i didn't know you had a boyfriend
00:05:39anderson get up get up you could have gotten yourself killed
00:05:44i am i am cupid god of love
00:06:08i come from skies far above bringing love to all i see
00:06:17now i have found some love for me fag
00:06:21and and so i get on bended knee
00:06:25to ask vanessa will you marry me
00:06:42vanessa
00:06:43i stop to think about the bad times
00:07:10that i've had
00:07:11with the smile on my face
00:07:15warm with the birth of the side
00:07:20curled out
00:07:22with nothing to do
00:07:26whilst the sun always out
00:07:28when i'm feeling blue
00:07:32it must be you
00:07:33oh it must be you
00:07:41oh it must be you
00:07:43oh it must be you
00:07:52when i took my first drink of alcohol
00:07:56i saw the angel of death
00:08:05i saw the angel of death
00:08:08floating over us all
00:08:08and with the smile on my face
00:08:09i saw the angel of death
00:08:13floating over us all
00:08:13and with the smile on my face
00:08:14i just wept
00:08:17how does a grown man laugh
00:08:18in the face of death
00:08:19i must be you
00:08:20oh it must be you
00:08:22oh
00:08:24oh
00:08:26oh
00:08:28oh
00:08:30oh
00:08:32oh
00:08:34oh
00:08:36oh
00:08:38oh
00:08:40oh
00:08:42oh
00:08:44oh
00:08:46oh
00:08:48oh
00:09:18oh
00:09:26oh
00:09:28oh
00:09:30oh
00:09:32oh
00:09:36oh
00:09:38oh
00:09:40oh
00:09:42oh
00:09:44oh
00:09:48Hey, you hungry?
00:10:05Did I ever tell you what she smelled like?
00:10:08What?
00:10:09Dewdrops.
00:10:12She was perfect.
00:10:14Nobody's perfect.
00:10:14She was perfect.
00:10:15Nobody's perfect.
00:10:16Okay.
00:10:16Like, you know how most people have wrinkly knees?
00:10:20Okay?
00:10:21Hers are perfectly smooth, like billiard balls.
00:10:23You know what I used to call her?
00:10:24What?
00:10:25Billiard ball knees.
00:10:26You know what might be fun?
00:10:28Not talking about your dead girlfriend.
00:10:30Huh?
00:10:31I still see her sometimes.
00:10:33Here?
00:10:34Just forget it.
00:10:35You know, I'd like to, Anderson.
00:10:36I really would, but you won't shut up about it.
00:10:38She's been dead twice as long as you knew her.
00:10:40Get over it.
00:10:40Get over it?
00:10:41I'm sorry, get over it?
00:10:42Yeah.
00:10:43How do you get over perfection?
00:10:44How do you get over perfection?
00:10:45You look around.
00:10:47Maybe there's another perfect somebody out there.
00:10:49Sure.
00:10:50Oh, my God.
00:10:51Oh, my God.
00:10:52Here we go.
00:11:01Oh.
00:11:02Don't talk to him like that.
00:11:04That goddamn spaghetti.
00:11:05This is just what the therapist was talking about.
00:11:07We've been wasting enough money on that.
00:11:08I don't believe it.
00:11:09Who wanted to come here?
00:11:11Not me.
00:11:12Oh.
00:11:13I am so sorry.
00:11:15What did you just do?
00:11:16What did you do?
00:11:18Satisfied I looked around?
00:11:19Hmm?
00:11:21I'm just saying, don't throw your whole life away because you killed your girlfriend,
00:11:24Beyonce.
00:11:24Technically, she never said yes.
00:11:26Anyway, I don't know if you're going to find anyone else whose butt smells like gumdrops
00:11:30or whatever, but I know that you won't unless you try.
00:11:33So is that it?
00:11:34Is that it?
00:11:35Huh?
00:11:35You want me to try?
00:11:36One time.
00:11:36That's all I'm saying.
00:11:37One time.
00:11:38I try.
00:11:38You get off my back.
00:11:39You have my solemn word.
00:11:40Fine.
00:11:41Fine, Ed.
00:11:43I'll try.
00:11:44I'll try.
00:11:45Hey.
00:11:45Can I get you guys anything else?
00:11:52Is there anything else I can get for you?
00:11:55Will you marry me?
00:12:01Excuse me?
00:12:02Will you marry me?
00:12:05Is it a bullet?
00:12:05Stuart, you're flapping.
00:12:07All right.
00:12:08Pigs?
00:12:08Three little pigs.
00:12:09A banjo and piggies.
00:12:12Deliverance!
00:12:12Oh, my God!
00:12:15It's like a machine.
00:12:16Oh, man.
00:12:17Oh, my God.
00:12:18You guys are so fast.
00:12:20Okay, it's my turn, and it's a really good one, so I need you all to pay attention, especially
00:12:24you, mon amour.
00:12:27Give me a little hand.
00:12:29Isn't he the cutest thing ever?
00:12:30Hey, I resent that.
00:12:32Isn't it getting kind of late, you guys?
00:12:34Oh, what's the matter, Cinderella?
00:12:36You're not going to turn into a pumpkin, are you?
00:12:40No, I know how to push your buttons or what.
00:12:43I'm pushing your buttons.
00:12:46Honey, do me your charade, okay?
00:12:48I have to get up early tomorrow.
00:12:51Aye, aye, Captain.
00:12:52Okay.
00:12:52Oh, wait.
00:12:53We can't do the show.
00:12:54You're coming.
00:12:57Here we go.
00:12:58Last one.
00:13:04Four words.
00:13:05First word.
00:13:05First word.
00:13:06Me, me.
00:13:08Shazam.
00:13:08William, William, William.
00:13:09Shorter.
00:13:10Willie, Will.
00:13:12Will.
00:13:12Will, okay.
00:13:13Second word.
00:13:13Second word.
00:13:14Sounds like.
00:13:14Sounds like.
00:13:15Rockette.
00:13:16Shoo.
00:13:17Shoo, you.
00:13:22Fourth word.
00:13:22Uh, me.
00:13:24It's me again.
00:13:24It's Willie.
00:13:24Me.
00:13:25Me?
00:13:25Will you blank me?
00:13:26Hey, buddy, there's ladies present.
00:13:28All right, well, you know, that's just tasteless, Stuart, for God's sake.
00:13:30Sorry.
00:13:31All right.
00:13:31Will you blank me?
00:13:33Third word.
00:13:33Oh, my God.
00:13:36Saunter.
00:13:38Mary?
00:13:39Stuart, he's proposing.
00:13:41Katie?
00:13:41Okay.
00:13:42Will you marry me?
00:13:43yes yes she says yes honey katie katie katie honestly katherine do you have any idea how
00:13:57embarrassing that was for me last night i didn't say no mom i just said i needed to think about it
00:14:01what's there to think about that boy is a catch and he's crazy about you god knows why just tell
00:14:06me what is it you want because william is perfect for one thing he's just about the most attractive
00:14:11orthodontist i think i've ever seen and he's incredibly romantic mom i know he's perfect
00:14:15i just need a little time will you talk to her stewart not to toot my own horn but william
00:14:20reminds me a lot of me when i was younger are you listening to your father he's not my father this
00:14:25man is more of a father to you than your father ever was god rest his soul dad is not dead he's
00:14:30dead to me this son of a bitch don't talk about dad that way don't you raise your voice to me
00:14:34you're getting emotional i'm not getting emotional all right i am leaving this house in five minutes
00:14:40and if you want to be on that bus i suggest you pull yourself together
00:14:42sometimes i wonder if you still love him who dad are you crazy are you out of your mind well you
00:14:54must have loved him once honey i was 18 when i met your father and about as dumb as a piece of ham
00:14:59what did i know about love all i knew was
00:15:03he was the hottest thing that i had ever seen oh he looked like a panther a sex panther
00:15:17sounds like love to me well there's a big difference between love and mindless animalistic carnal lust
00:15:26and what do you have with stewart what i have with stewart is what i want for you and william a
00:15:33mature stable relationship but are you happy of course i'm happy i'm very happy i'm very very happy
00:15:41no no no very happy very happy i gotta go the bus is here
00:15:48very happy
00:15:56there she is there's my beautiful girl hey keep it down i will eat your head
00:16:23i will tear it up shove it up your ass pull it through your mouth brush my teeth with it and then
00:16:27eat it i will eat it it's mitty i'm not finished
00:16:31eat it
00:16:32dad
00:16:35apologize to him oh come on i'm serious dad it's just rude
00:16:41now
00:16:42hey dave i'm sorry just smitty i'm working on my appeal over here
00:16:55i know i know i'm i'm i'm sorry
00:16:57that's why i love you so much baby bear you got your mother's good heart
00:17:05what's wrong no nothing william asked me to marry him but that's good that's what you wanted no
00:17:15yeah
00:17:16no
00:17:19oh dad i don't know i just
00:17:22i mean how are you supposed to know when you're with the right person
00:17:28just listen to your heart baby bear you'll know
00:17:33hey do you know what i do when i'm feeling
00:17:38yeah you drink homemade toilet wine
00:17:41no well yeah but i i also write in my gratitude journal and every day i write about the things
00:17:48that i have to be grateful for like you and your mother
00:17:51oh here
00:17:54december 25th christmas day
00:17:58i am grateful that somebody finally stabbed that cocksucker rodriguez
00:18:03dad
00:18:04i'm gonna say yes
00:18:10yes i mean we get along so well right
00:18:14he's so funny
00:18:16he cracks me up you guys
00:18:18i'm gonna say that
00:18:21that's great right matador
00:18:24i think william's kind of a turd
00:18:26really
00:18:27yeah
00:18:28but
00:18:29he's like a turd with a piece of candy
00:18:32in it
00:18:34nasta rovia
00:18:36marriage isn't in our blood
00:18:40we're circus folk
00:18:41gypsies roaming from big top to big top
00:18:44on the open road
00:18:45you guys have been working in the diner since i've known you
00:18:49not in here katie
00:18:50not in here
00:18:51gentlemen
00:18:59observe
00:19:01can i get you guys anything else
00:19:11will you marry me
00:19:14excuse me
00:19:16will you marry me
00:19:17seriously
00:19:19think about it
00:19:20what
00:19:20what could possibly be more romantic than throwing away your entire life
00:19:24and running off with some handsome dark-haired stranger you spotted across a restaurant
00:19:28uh i'm sorry he's had a lot of syrup
00:19:35okay
00:19:37okay he's had a lot of syrup
00:19:39okay i'll marry you
00:19:41what
00:19:45yes
00:19:46yes
00:19:47yes
00:19:48i'll marry you
00:19:50jane
00:19:51jane
00:19:52jane
00:19:53will you cover for me
00:19:54where are you going
00:19:55ah
00:19:56i'm getting married
00:19:58to this guy
00:19:59come on
00:20:01come on
00:20:02come on
00:20:03come on
00:20:04come on get out here
00:20:05have to go
00:20:06come on
00:20:07come on
00:20:08come on
00:20:09come on
00:20:10come on
00:20:11come on
00:20:12come on
00:20:13come on
00:20:14oh
00:20:15uh
00:20:16anderson
00:20:17oh
00:20:18katie
00:20:19katie
00:20:20hi
00:20:21hmm
00:20:22hmm
00:20:23hmm
00:20:24hmm
00:20:25hmm
00:20:26two kisses
00:20:27are you stupid
00:20:29hey greg
00:20:30watch this
00:20:31stick that arm up your ass
00:20:35can i ask you a question
00:21:00yeah
00:21:01yeah
00:21:02so years from now
00:21:03when we're celebrating our 37th wedding anniversary
00:21:06oh
00:21:08and uh
00:21:09and one of our friends asks us about our first date
00:21:12is this what we'll talk about
00:21:14i guess it is
00:21:15yeah
00:21:16okay
00:21:17and uh
00:21:18and then i'll tell them the funny part
00:21:20what's the funny part
00:21:22that after we talked about it
00:21:23mm-hmm
00:21:24you stepped in dog shit
00:21:27oh
00:21:28i stepped in dog shit
00:21:30yeah
00:21:31why didn't you warn me
00:21:32i would've ruined this story
00:21:33ah
00:21:34man
00:21:35can i have water
00:21:36oh
00:21:37god
00:21:38god
00:21:39god
00:21:40god
00:21:41god
00:21:42i've never been up here before
00:21:49yeah it's a cool place to come if you want to get an old refrigerator filled with vomit
00:21:55i was looking for one of those
00:21:57i was looking for one of those
00:21:58yeah
00:21:59well i think it's two for one day so
00:22:01look what i've got
00:22:04look what i've got
00:22:07tetanus
00:22:13this is stupid
00:22:14what
00:22:15you know this
00:22:16us sitting up here pretending we're doing something
00:22:19this is stupid
00:22:20it is right
00:22:21i mean obviously we're not getting married
00:22:23obviously
00:22:24strangers don't get married
00:22:25obviously
00:22:26strangers don't get married
00:22:27well in some cultures they do
00:22:29they do
00:22:30but not ours
00:22:31not ours
00:22:32other cultures
00:22:33far away cultures
00:22:34the kalahari bushman
00:22:35is one example
00:22:36and my parents did
00:22:37they did
00:22:38they did
00:22:39they did
00:22:40my mom barely knew my dad
00:22:41and she got pregnant with me
00:22:42and they eloped
00:22:43to this weird little place
00:22:44called the house of wedded bliss
00:22:45in atlantic city
00:22:46the house of wedded bliss
00:22:48yeah
00:22:50doesn't that sound incredibly romantic
00:22:52sounds like a bad chinese takeout place
00:22:58yeah well i mean just because they did
00:22:59doesn't mean that we are right
00:23:03you probably weren't even serious when you were asked
00:23:06were you
00:23:09of course not
00:23:13you see that's what i'm talking about
00:23:14i mean this whole thing is just
00:23:16it's stupid
00:23:20wait
00:23:21i'm sorry
00:23:22wait wait wait wait what's happening
00:23:23i'm just such an idiot
00:23:25are you crying
00:23:26no
00:23:27why are you crying
00:23:29i am not crying
00:23:33it really it really looks like you're crying
00:23:35yeah i'm crying now
00:23:37are you satisfied
00:23:38are you satisfied
00:23:39you asshole
00:23:41hey hey hey
00:23:43hey hey
00:23:45hey you
00:23:46hey
00:23:47hey
00:23:48hey
00:23:50hey
00:23:51mom
00:23:53are you okay
00:23:55you okay? I can't remember the last time I did that. I don't think I've ever done that.
00:24:02Do you want a tissue? No, I'm fine. I feel incredible. Really? Why is that? You sure you
00:24:11don't want a tissue? No, I'm fine. Anderson, when you asked me to marry you, you probably picked the
00:24:20only girl in the whole world that would say yes. I don't think that's a coincidence. Do you
00:24:25you? I don't know. Do you believe in fate? No. Neither do I. You see, this was meant to be.
00:24:34Will you marry me? You said yes? Yeah, well, why not? You know, I think this is exactly what I need
00:24:42to get my life back on track. I mean, why can't two strangers get married? I don't know, because
00:24:46it's retarded. Look, you said it yourself. You said I need to get back out there and meet people,
00:24:51right? Yeah, meet, meet, not marry. Why can't you just date her for a while like a normal human
00:24:56being? Look, don't worry, okay? It's not, you know, it's not like we're getting married today.
00:25:00We talked about it and we decided to take things slow. So what's next? She's moving in with me.
00:25:05I gotta go. Okay, well, good luck with that.
00:25:09I don't care why you hear this. I don't care if I'm alone here. Singing songs to myself.
00:25:27There's nobody else around, around. Meet you up at the emptying part of the town. The town shut down.
00:25:36The people have put the bags. The kids tell there's not a sound to sound.
00:25:44But I must get from there to here. There's a small voice crying on the other side of the river from here.
00:25:51It's too late to open now.
00:25:54William, I have some weird news. It's good news for me. I can't marry you. I'll explain everything later.
00:26:02I'm so sorry. I love you. As a plan. Okay, bye.
00:26:18Can I leave a message for 99138?
00:26:23It's our message, Smitty.
00:26:25It's for my daughter. She's getting married.
00:26:33Oh, yeah?
00:26:34I'm just too glad you're not going to be there to walk her down the aisle, big guy.
00:26:37What is this?
00:26:49I'm getting married.
00:26:50No, this.
00:26:52It's a diaphragm.
00:26:53I know what it is. Not in front of her. Please, please.
00:26:56It's her diaphragm.
00:26:57Stuart.
00:26:57Hey, Madeline.
00:26:58Jeez.
00:26:59Where are you going?
00:27:00I told you, I'm getting married.
00:27:02Oh! You said yes!
00:27:06Not to William.
00:27:08Not to William?
00:27:11He's named Anderson. I met him a couple of hours ago.
00:27:13A couple of hours ago? What kind of... What about William? What kind of name is Anderson?
00:27:18Use your head here, Katie.
00:27:19He's black, isn't he?
00:27:21I have to go.
00:27:23Don't you think you're being a little impulsive?
00:27:25Yes, that is exactly what I mean. And guess what? It feels great.
00:27:29You ready?
00:27:33Oh, my God.
00:27:34Hi.
00:27:35Hey, there, dude. You must be Anderson.
00:27:38No, this is my friend Matador. He's just giving me a ride.
00:27:42I like your Jew hat.
00:27:51Bye, Mom.
00:27:53I'll bring him back for you to meet him tomorrow.
00:27:54Oh!
00:27:59Can you see?
00:28:22No. No problem. You know, this happens all the time.
00:28:25'll be right back.
00:28:46Come on.
00:28:50Bye.
00:28:51I can't see!
00:29:00Just be patient, but we're up in a second!
00:29:03I can't run out.
00:29:05Whoa! Run out!
00:29:07Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my!
00:29:24I killed that fellow! I killed that fellow in my car!
00:29:32Oh, my God, not again.
00:29:34Anderson?
00:29:37Vanessa?
00:29:41Anderson?
00:29:45Vanessa?
00:29:50Am I dead?
00:29:52You're just unconscious. Does it hurt?
00:29:56Not really.
00:29:58Ow!
00:29:59Now does it hurt?
00:30:00Ow! Ow!
00:30:01You're getting married?
00:30:03No! No! We're not getting married. We're just...
00:30:06We're just moving in together.
00:30:08I thought you loved me.
00:30:09I do, Vanessa. I do. I'll never love anybody but you.
00:30:14Really?
00:30:15Yeah. Of course.
00:30:22Then dump her.
00:30:24promise me, Anderson.
00:30:36I promise.
00:30:42Touch my lightsaber, Luke.
00:30:45Touch it!
00:30:47It's just ice.
00:30:48Yeah, what is that? What is that?
00:30:49It's just ice.
00:30:50Okay.
00:30:56Hello.
00:31:00Katie, would you like to make the introductions?
00:31:04Oh.
00:31:06I hit you with my car.
00:31:08This is Matador.
00:31:09Matador.
00:31:10Matador.
00:31:11Here.
00:31:12I got you a small gift.
00:31:15I didn't have time to wrap it.
00:31:18It's a Discman.
00:31:21This is my Discman.
00:31:24Did you take this from my drawer?
00:31:27Yes, I did.
00:31:28Okay.
00:31:31Uh, Matador, could you do me a giant favor?
00:31:35Yeah.
00:31:37Is there some way that you could not press your balls into my shin?
00:31:44Can do.
00:31:47Yeah.
00:31:48Thanks.
00:31:50Are you okay?
00:31:51Well, I thought he was abrupt.
00:31:53But, um, I'll be fine.
00:31:58Yeah, I think, I think I'll be okay.
00:32:09Matador.
00:32:12Oh, yeah.
00:32:13I'm sorry.
00:32:14Very good.
00:32:15Okay.
00:32:17Take care now.
00:32:19I will.
00:32:21He seems nice.
00:32:23Does it hurt?
00:32:24Oh, I, no.
00:32:25It's fine.
00:32:26You're so brave.
00:32:28Listen.
00:32:29Listen.
00:32:30Katie.
00:32:31Where's your bedroom?
00:32:32Bedroom?
00:32:33Yeah.
00:32:34I need to put this somewhere.
00:32:35What's this?
00:32:36My clothes.
00:32:37Your clothes?
00:32:38Yeah.
00:32:39You know, for wearing.
00:32:40Oh.
00:32:41Uh, clothes.
00:32:42Right.
00:32:43I thought, I thought you said clothes.
00:32:44Clothes.
00:32:45And I was like that.
00:32:46Clothes.
00:32:47That's a weird thing to pack.
00:32:48Uh, okay.
00:32:49Yep.
00:32:50Found.
00:32:51Found the bedroom.
00:32:52Uh.
00:32:53So, yep.
00:32:54So this is, this is the bedroom.
00:32:55This is the bedroom.
00:32:56A little.
00:32:57Good.
00:32:58Good.
00:32:59Uh, so listen.
00:33:00I was thinking about everything and how great this is.
00:33:02But it's all happening so fast.
00:33:03And I, and I was afraid that maybe you thought it was happening too fast.
00:33:06That's what makes it so exciting.
00:33:07Exactly.
00:33:08Exactly.
00:33:09That's what I was exactly going to say.
00:33:11Because personally, I, I couldn't be more thrilled.
00:33:13Well, you seem really nervous.
00:33:14Really?
00:33:15No.
00:33:16No, no, no.
00:33:17I don't, that's weird.
00:33:18I don't get nervous.
00:33:19I'm sweating on me.
00:33:20Who's Vanessa?
00:33:21Who?
00:33:22You said Vanessa right before you passed out.
00:33:25I did.
00:33:26Oh.
00:33:27Is this her?
00:33:28No.
00:33:29Mm-mm.
00:33:30No, that's not her.
00:33:31I don't know who that is.
00:33:32That's a, that picture came with the frame.
00:33:34But you're in the picture.
00:33:36Mm-hmm.
00:33:37Yeah, there I am right there.
00:33:39I know.
00:33:40That's, it's because I used to do some modeling when I was younger.
00:33:43Really?
00:33:44Yes, I did.
00:33:45I did.
00:33:46Some, some picture frame modeling.
00:33:47Back when that whole regular guy phase was sweeping the picture frame modeling industry.
00:33:51Then he's so cool.
00:33:52Yeah, yeah.
00:34:03The telephone's ringing.
00:34:04Mm-hmm.
00:34:05Yeah.
00:34:10Should I get it?
00:34:11No, no, no, no.
00:34:12It's, it's my mom.
00:34:13I'll call her back.
00:34:14Oh, should I say hi?
00:34:15That's okay.
00:34:16You, no.
00:34:17No, really.
00:34:18It's weird.
00:34:19I mean, I should say hi, right?
00:34:20No, no, no.
00:34:21That's all.
00:34:22I got it.
00:34:23I got it.
00:34:24Hello?
00:34:25Uh, mom?
00:34:26Hi.
00:34:27Hi.
00:34:28Oh, same old, same old.
00:34:29How are you guys?
00:34:30She wants to talk to me.
00:34:31I'm here.
00:34:32Yeah, listen.
00:34:33Uh, no, it's, everything is, uh, everything is, everything is good.
00:34:36Yeah.
00:34:37Yeah.
00:34:38Love you.
00:34:39See you tomorrow, then.
00:34:41Bye-bye.
00:34:48How's Anderson?
00:34:49Fine, I guess.
00:34:50He says he has a surprise for us.
00:34:52He's coming over tomorrow.
00:34:55What's he doing tomorrow?
00:34:59Coming.
00:35:01He's what?
00:35:06Coming.
00:35:07I'm scared.
00:35:08I'm scared.
00:35:09I'm scared.
00:35:10Give me that little girl.
00:35:11Just a little girl.
00:35:12I can give you what you want.
00:35:15I'm scared.
00:35:17I'm scared.
00:35:19Give me that little girl.
00:35:21Just a little girl.
00:35:22Just a little girl.
00:35:23Not a little girl.
00:35:25Not a little girl.
00:35:27Just a little girl.
00:35:31Anderson?
00:35:32Uh, just a minute.
00:35:33Just a minute.
00:35:34Just a minute.
00:35:35I can be the sauce you crave.
00:35:38I can smell what you can say.
00:35:42Chocolate flavored love theme.
00:35:44Treat the treats are so mean.
00:35:46Covering your nights and day.
00:35:49Let me give you what you'd like.
00:35:52I can make your mouth run dry.
00:35:57Drink me like a liquor.
00:35:59Come on and dip your dipper.
00:36:01Show me what you're here for, guy.
00:36:08Anderson?
00:36:09Anderson?
00:36:10I'm in.
00:36:12Okay.
00:36:14Listen.
00:36:15Listen, Katie.
00:36:17I think you're really neat.
00:36:18Okay?
00:36:19I do.
00:36:20But...
00:36:21But I...
00:36:22I just...
00:36:23I can't.
00:36:24I can't.
00:36:25Cause, uh...
00:36:26I made a promise to somebody.
00:36:27And...
00:36:28I think you're really neat.
00:36:31God.
00:36:36What you want.
00:36:39I can give you what you want.
00:36:44What you want.
00:36:46I can give you what you want.
00:36:49What you want.
00:36:51I...
00:36:52Oh, God.
00:36:53I'm sorry.
00:36:54I'm sorry.
00:36:55Sorry.
00:36:56Sorry.
00:36:57No, Anderson.
00:36:58It's okay.
00:36:59Turn around.
00:37:05So, uh...
00:37:06What did your mom say?
00:37:07Oh, yeah.
00:37:08Um...
00:37:09Well, she, um...
00:37:10I was thinking that we could...
00:37:11We could go over there and...
00:37:12And...
00:37:13And...
00:37:14Get married.
00:37:16If you want to put a label on it.
00:37:18Great.
00:37:19Cause I told my mom we'd go over to visit her tomorrow, too.
00:37:21Great.
00:37:22That's great.
00:37:23Uh-huh.
00:37:24Mm-hmm.
00:37:25I was...
00:37:26I was thinking we could, um...
00:37:27We could take a bus over to my folks' house.
00:37:28I like buses.
00:37:29That's good.
00:37:30Cause...
00:37:31Cause it...
00:37:32It's a bus.
00:37:33It's a bus.
00:37:35Mm.
00:37:36Minty.
00:37:37Well, that's toothpaste for ya.
00:37:38That's...
00:37:39That's just classic toothpaste.
00:37:40Ha-ha-ha-ha.
00:37:42Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
00:37:43Oh, God!
00:37:44Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
00:37:45Oh, God!
00:37:46Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
00:37:47I'm sorry.
00:37:48I'm sorry.
00:37:49I swallowed some.
00:37:50That's sorry.
00:37:51It's really burning.
00:37:52Do you want to go in there?
00:37:53Right there?
00:37:54Where?
00:37:55Uh, yep.
00:37:56This way.
00:37:57Yes, yep.
00:37:58Yep, yep.
00:37:59You got it.
00:38:00Maybe I should go out and get some saline solution.
00:38:01No, I'm fine.
00:38:02You know, get some saline or eye drops or something.
00:38:05No, really.
00:38:08I'll go get some saline.
00:38:12Okay, okay, okay.
00:38:13Okay, slow down. What's the problem?
00:38:15I think she wants to have sex with me.
00:38:18I'm going to call 911.
00:38:20I'm so embarrassed. I mean, I feel like such an idiot.
00:38:23Maybe it just came on a little strong.
00:38:25Oh, God.
00:38:26A couple hours ago, she was moving in.
00:38:29All your problems were solved. Rainbows were shooting out of your ass.
00:38:32What happened?
00:38:32Nothing, nothing. She's great. She's great.
00:38:35It's just, uh...
00:38:35What?
00:38:36What would Vanessa say? Huh?
00:38:39Oh, buddy.
00:38:40I'm just trying to be spontaneous, you know?
00:38:42He probably thinks I'm such a freak.
00:38:45No, trust me, you're not a freak.
00:38:52I've got to go. He's here.
00:38:56Hi.
00:38:56Hi.
00:38:57Hi.
00:38:58Uh, they were out of saline, so I got you some Q-tips and some sick cream.
00:39:04So, you can do with that in what you please.
00:39:09How's your head?
00:39:10Oh, fine.
00:39:12Yeah, no, it's okay.
00:39:17My eye's fine.
00:39:18Right.
00:39:19How's your eye?
00:39:20It's fine.
00:39:23Okay.
00:39:46Wow.
00:39:47Wowie.
00:39:50Wowie-dowie-doo.
00:39:54Do-wee, wowie, boobie.
00:39:56Well, I think...
00:40:01We better get to bed, I think.
00:40:03It's time for...
00:40:04Not...
00:40:04I mean, not that kind of bed.
00:40:06Not that kind of bed.
00:40:07I mean, I mean, like...
00:40:08Sleepy, sleepy bed.
00:40:10Because...
00:40:11Because I, you know...
00:40:12Because of your eye in my head, and...
00:40:14Well, if we have any more physical contact, I think one of us might actually die.
00:40:17So...
00:40:18So...
00:40:20It's all right.
00:40:47I'm sorry.
00:40:48I'm sorry.
00:40:49Go back to sleep.
00:40:50I'm sorry.
00:40:51I'm sorry.
00:40:52Sunday afternoon's a memory.
00:41:00She was just lying there, sleeping softly in a chair.
00:41:06Are you almost ready?
00:41:12I told Mom we'd be there in like half an hour.
00:41:15She's gonna love you.
00:41:19Fourth word.
00:41:20Um, you're...
00:41:24You're holding hands.
00:41:25You're holding hands.
00:41:26You're...
00:41:26You're with friends.
00:41:28You're skipping...
00:41:29Wizard of Oz!
00:41:30The Wizard of Oz!
00:41:34Diving?
00:41:35The Greg Legan story?
00:41:41Flashdance.
00:41:43Ta-da!
00:41:45Airplane!
00:41:45Him.
00:41:49Her.
00:41:50What a man loves a woman!
00:41:51Sound of music!
00:41:53Philadelphia!
00:41:54Deep throat!
00:41:55Deep throat!
00:41:56Oh, sorry.
00:41:58Oh, you know what?
00:41:59You know what, dear?
00:42:00We give up.
00:42:00Why don't you just tell us?
00:42:03That was...
00:42:03That was the Apple Dumpling Gang.
00:42:05Oh.
00:42:06Oh.
00:42:10So, that's...
00:42:11It's not an easy one, so...
00:42:14It was really good.
00:42:15Thanks, thanks.
00:42:16Thank you, I'll...
00:42:17Sorry, I...
00:42:18Thanks.
00:42:19You're so good.
00:42:19I thought it...
00:42:20Yeah, it was hard.
00:42:21I thought it made sense.
00:42:22It was good.
00:42:23It was a tough one, so...
00:42:24Yeah.
00:42:25And then, a few years ago,
00:42:27I was in a toy store,
00:42:29and I had a thought.
00:42:31What if there was a line of stuffed animals
00:42:33specifically for Jewish children?
00:42:36And that's when the junicorn was born.
00:42:41Listen.
00:42:41Well, Anderson, what do you think?
00:42:58Wow.
00:43:00Wow.
00:43:01Um...
00:43:02I think it's...
00:43:04I think it's very, um...
00:43:05Specific.
00:43:13In a good way, of course.
00:43:16So, Anderson, what is it you do?
00:43:18Oh, Anderson's between jobs right now, Mom.
00:43:21Oh, he's between jobs.
00:43:22Yeah.
00:43:22I see.
00:43:23Huh.
00:43:24You know, maybe you'd like to go downstairs
00:43:26to the basement
00:43:27and see where Stuart makes all his little toys.
00:43:29Oh.
00:43:30Mom.
00:43:31No.
00:43:31Why?
00:43:32Oh, I think he'd be interested.
00:43:33Especially if you like googly eyes.
00:43:35As a matter of fact, I do like googly eyes.
00:43:38That does it.
00:43:39Follow me, young man.
00:43:41Santa's not the only one with a workshop.
00:43:43Wow.
00:43:44What do you think?
00:43:47I...
00:43:48I...
00:43:48I...
00:43:49What is this?
00:43:55Jewel-a-hoop.
00:43:58Doesn't really work.
00:43:59Kind of like you, right, Anderson?
00:44:01Huh, huh, huh, huh.
00:44:09William.
00:44:11I thought you two should speak.
00:44:16I've been here this whole time.
00:44:18I've been watching you with him.
00:44:20I mean, what do you even see in that loser?
00:44:22He doesn't even know how to do the apple dumpling gang.
00:44:25Apple.
00:44:26Dump.
00:44:26Ling.
00:44:28Gang.
00:44:28That's the apple dumpling gang, okay?
00:44:30That's the motherfucking apple dumpling gang!
00:44:33Oh, God.
00:44:35William.
00:44:36You are really, really good at charades,
00:44:39and nobody can ever take that away from you.
00:44:42I had a whole life planned for us.
00:44:44You know, a big house.
00:44:47Three kids.
00:44:48Two boys and a girl, you know.
00:44:49I know.
00:44:51Connor, Tanner, and Ashley.
00:44:52Holly, I'm sorry.
00:44:54I'm not gay.
00:44:56What?
00:44:57What?
00:45:01I think you should go.
00:45:03Oh, yeah.
00:45:04Okay.
00:45:05I'll go.
00:45:06But this ball isn't over, Cinderella.
00:45:10Because, oh.
00:45:12Oh.
00:45:13I'm still dancing.
00:45:15Oh.
00:45:16Oh.
00:45:16Do you hear me?
00:45:17I'm still dancing.
00:45:19Check it.
00:45:20I'm still dancing.
00:45:21I'm still dancing.
00:45:22I'm a dancing fool.
00:45:23Yeah!
00:45:24Did you hear that?
00:45:25Uh-uh.
00:45:25Oh.
00:45:26Got it.
00:45:47Um, we should get going.
00:45:58Because we're going to see Anderson's parents.
00:46:01Um, I'll grab our jackets.
00:46:03Okay.
00:46:03Okay.
00:46:04Well, um, well, this has been fun.
00:46:08So thank you.
00:46:09I think they really liked you.
00:46:18I do.
00:46:19I could tell.
00:46:20Especially my mom.
00:46:21My mom loved you.
00:46:23Really?
00:46:24Yeah.
00:46:25Definitely.
00:46:26Because I got the impression she thought I was a loser.
00:46:29Why would you say that?
00:46:31When you were in the bathroom, your mom said she thought I was a loser.
00:46:34Um, I thought you were great.
00:46:43Really?
00:46:44Yeah.
00:46:45Really.
00:46:50Well, I think you're pretty great, too.
00:46:55Oh.
00:46:56Sorry.
00:46:58Um, do you want to sit down?
00:47:00Okay.
00:47:01Thanks.
00:47:01Thanks.
00:47:06Sure thing.
00:47:10May I?
00:47:13Aw.
00:47:24Wow.
00:47:27Anderson, you have to feel this.
00:47:30Uh, okay.
00:47:34Wow.
00:47:36I think I felt a kick.
00:47:37Do you mind if I, uh, take a listen?
00:47:42Wow.
00:47:43Uh-huh.
00:47:46When are you due?
00:47:47I'm not pregnant.
00:47:49This is my stop.
00:47:50Getting off, getting off, getting off.
00:47:52Excuse me.
00:47:53Sorry.
00:47:54Excuse me.
00:47:54Excuse me.
00:47:56Excuse me.
00:47:56Sorry.
00:47:57Sorry.
00:47:57I feel terrible.
00:48:03That's your fault.
00:48:04Okay.
00:48:04It's your fault.
00:48:05Okay.
00:48:05I'd love to run around with you until all day.
00:48:12And listen to amazing, super-duper things you say.
00:48:16I travel around the universe to make you understand that we've got to take this opportunity and take it fast.
00:48:26There's no time to waste.
00:48:28Cause it's a brand new day.
00:48:30Hey, there's Gipper.
00:48:33Hey.
00:48:34Who's a good-looking potato?
00:48:36Mom, Dad.
00:48:37I want you to meet Katie, my...
00:48:39Fiance.
00:48:40Fiance.
00:48:41Fiance?
00:48:43Well.
00:48:46Well.
00:48:46Congratulations!
00:48:46Clayton!
00:48:48A dog.
00:48:50A dog, I say.
00:48:52Oh, boy, oh, boy.
00:48:54I think monitor approves too.
00:48:57Yeah!
00:48:59The dog!
00:49:06Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:49:10Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:49:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:49:16Should we go inside?
00:49:28Gotta hand it to you, Skipper. She's a peach.
00:49:33Yeah, I guess you think I'm being pretty foolish, huh?
00:49:35Why should I think that?
00:49:38Because I just met Katie, and we hardly know each other?
00:49:40Nah, you got your whole lives to get to know each other.
00:49:44But what if I don't like what I get to know?
00:49:45Oh, that's just nerves talking.
00:49:48I remember just before I got married, your grandpa and I walked our dog.
00:49:52Had a little conversation about the birds and the bees.
00:49:56I'll tell you, when he told me what he told me, I just about fell down.
00:50:00Yeah, yeah. I think I pretty much know everything about that stuff, Dad.
00:50:03Oh, of course you do, of course you do.
00:50:05You're a grown man.
00:50:07It's about time that I started treating you like one.
00:50:09So I guess I don't have to tell you what this is for.
00:50:13I've had this cock ring since my Navy days.
00:50:19I got it from a three-dollar whore in Shanghai.
00:50:23Wow, that's, um, that's a really nice, nice ring.
00:50:31Cock ring, son.
00:50:33Cock ring?
00:50:34Cock ring.
00:50:35Yeah, I don't know what it is.
00:50:37Ever since I left the service, I've been having trouble with firing my torpedoes too soon.
00:50:43Yeah.
00:50:44If you take my meaning.
00:50:45You think I do, Dad?
00:50:46Premature ejaculation.
00:50:48Okay.
00:50:48Okay.
00:50:49Son, I want you to have it.
00:50:56I want you to have my cock ring.
00:51:04I don't know what to say.
00:51:05I'm sorry, Smitty, I just wanted to borrow your dirt devil.
00:51:19I don't know.
00:51:24I don't know.
00:51:27I don't know.
00:51:29I don't know.
00:51:31I don't know.
00:51:33Dinner was terrific, Mrs. Wells.
00:51:48Oh, no, I won't have any of that.
00:51:50We're family now.
00:51:52I'd like you to call me Mommy.
00:51:57Okay.
00:51:59I suppose Anderson told you all about Vanessa.
00:52:02Oh, um, no, yeah.
00:52:03I mean, he did.
00:52:06Mommy.
00:52:08He really loved her.
00:52:10I suppose we all did.
00:52:13I thought of that girl as one of my own.
00:52:17Why did they break up?
00:52:19Break up?
00:52:20Oh, heavens.
00:52:22They didn't break up.
00:52:25She died.
00:52:27Poor little thing.
00:52:28Her heart just gave out the night he reposed.
00:52:30Oh, my God.
00:52:34Some folks around here blame Anderson the way he surprised her and all.
00:52:38I know I do.
00:52:40When she went, it just about tore this family apart.
00:52:44There were nights I thought about sticking Daddy's service revolver in my mouth and pulling the trigger just so I could be with her in heaven.
00:52:49Mrs. Wells, I'm not trying to take Vanessa's service.
00:52:53Don't you say her name.
00:52:56I will cut you.
00:52:59We're home, Mother.
00:53:00Where are you girls hiding?
00:53:02We're just having a little girl talk, Daddy.
00:53:03I don't know what you said to my mom, but whatever it was, it worked.
00:53:17She loved you.
00:53:18And believe me, my mom is not always as sweet as she looks.
00:53:22Really?
00:53:22No, really.
00:53:23Yeah, no, it's hard to believe.
00:53:26Don't you have anything you want to tell me?
00:53:29Yeah.
00:53:30Yeah.
00:53:30There is.
00:53:38You look really nice tonight.
00:53:42You're a real jerk.
00:53:47Are we about to have our first fight?
00:53:49Because if we are, you think we can finish it before we get to your friend's house?
00:53:54Or it could win.
00:53:56I just don't understand.
00:53:58Why didn't you tell me about Vanessa when I asked?
00:54:01Who's Vanessa?
00:54:02She was my girlfriend.
00:54:04His fiancée.
00:54:05Okay, technically she never said yes.
00:54:06She died.
00:54:08Did you kill her?
00:54:09No.
00:54:11That's not what your mother says.
00:54:13Look, I was gonna tell you, okay?
00:54:15Okay, but...
00:54:15But what?
00:54:16I mean, you're still in love with her?
00:54:18You're in love with a dead girl, you freak.
00:54:29Freak?
00:54:30Freak.
00:54:30I'm the freak?
00:54:32I'm the freak?
00:54:32What kind of person accepts a marriage proposal from a complete stranger, freak?
00:54:36Well, what kind of a person asks, freak?
00:54:39Stop calling me freak.
00:54:39Stop being one, you freak.
00:54:41Okay, okay.
00:54:42I don't care what you think about me.
00:54:44Just leave her out of it.
00:54:45Her?
00:54:46Her?
00:54:47You can't even say her name!
00:54:49It's Vanessa, you asshole!
00:54:51And she's dead!
00:54:53Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead!
00:55:02Wow.
00:55:03That was harsh, harsh, harsh, harsh, harsh.
00:55:15Wouldn't be the first time, love made a fool of me.
00:55:27Wouldn't even care, but now you're here to see.
00:55:34It comes as no surprise, just leave the light on.
00:55:53What I wouldn't give if you could have it all.
00:56:00The sun's going down, the bed that breaks the ball.
00:56:13Cradle and the bow.
00:56:16So you can take comfort now.
00:56:26You can take comfort now.
00:56:35Hey.
00:56:41Hey.
00:56:42Hey.
00:56:43We, uh, split up to look for you.
00:56:59You know, when I was a kid, I didn't have many friends.
00:57:02You're kidding.
00:57:04Nope.
00:57:05It's the truth.
00:57:06I don't know why.
00:57:09Perhaps because I was into different things than the other kids.
00:57:12Acrobats, strongmen, makeup, that sort of thing.
00:57:15Right, that sort of thing.
00:57:17But I didn't let it bother me, you know, because I knew what I love.
00:57:20The circus?
00:57:21You know, the circus is a lot like love.
00:57:31Oh?
00:57:31How so?
00:57:32Well, if it's a good one, if it's a really good one, it's beautiful and terrifying and magical
00:57:41all at the same time.
00:57:44Huh.
00:57:45And you wouldn't give up on the circus just because once in a while a girl falls off the
00:57:50high wire, snaps her neck.
00:57:55Oh.
00:57:56Dead girls.
00:57:58Sensitive subject.
00:57:59I'm sorry.
00:58:08Morning.
00:58:08Morning.
00:58:13Morning.
00:58:13Morning.
00:58:14Morning.
00:58:15Morning.
00:58:17It's an escape.
00:58:18Honey?
00:58:19Yahoo!
00:58:29Nothing.
00:58:32I thought maybe you could open it for me.
00:58:35Oh.
00:58:36Stuart?
00:58:39Stuart?
00:58:40Oi.
00:58:42Hiya, little bear.
00:58:43What the hell are you doing here?
00:58:45Stuart, honey, are you okay?
00:58:47Ducky.
00:58:48Smitty?
00:58:48What did you do?
00:58:50You think I would miss walking my little girl down that aisle?
00:58:53Where is she?
00:58:54Ran off with her loser boyfriend.
00:58:56Hey!
00:58:56You shut up, all right, pal?
00:58:58Did she say where she was going?
00:58:59No.
00:59:00No.
00:59:01Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:59:04No, get away.
00:59:06Oh, my God.
00:59:09Oh, oh, no.
00:59:15Hey.
00:59:19Hey!
00:59:19Hey!
00:59:20Hey!
00:59:21This is all your fault.
00:59:22You chased her away.
00:59:24Lois, please, you're getting emotional.
00:59:25Emotional?
00:59:26You're right, I'm getting good and goddamned emotional,
00:59:29and what the hell are you gonna do about it,
00:59:30you tiny, tiny man, you zoolog.
00:59:32Easy, little bear, easy.
00:59:33You spineless little noodle.
00:59:34Easy, easy, little bear, come on.
00:59:37Let's go find our baby.
00:59:38All right, let me go get dressed, big bear.
00:59:42Let me help, little bear.
00:59:54Hey!
00:59:58What's that?
00:59:59Nothing.
01:00:09Do spedania.
01:00:10Take care, Maradona.
01:00:19Hey.
01:00:20You never gave me a key?
01:00:22Right.
01:00:24I just need to pack up my shit, and you'll never see me again.
01:00:47Can I get a taxi, please?
01:00:49What is the address?
01:00:516 New Lane.
01:00:526 New Lane.
01:00:53Apartment.
01:00:54New Lane.
01:00:55Don't go.
01:00:56Apartment.
01:00:57Apartment.
01:00:58What?
01:01:00I like you and I don't want you to go.
01:01:04Hold on.
01:01:05What did you say?
01:01:06I like you and I don't want you to go.
01:01:08You don't like me.
01:01:09Don't tell me who I like.
01:01:10Screw you.
01:01:11Screw you!
01:01:12Screw you!
01:01:13No!
01:01:14Screw you!
01:01:15You're possible.
01:01:16You...
01:01:17You are pig-headed.
01:01:18You are stubborn.
01:01:19You...
01:01:20What?
01:01:21You don't even warn a guy when he's about to step in dog shit.
01:01:22What is that?
01:01:23Ever since I met you, I've been a total wreck.
01:01:24Even more of a wreck than usual.
01:01:25And screw you.
01:01:26I like you.
01:01:27Yeah?
01:01:28Well, you're a liar.
01:01:29And you have horrible morning breath.
01:01:32And you could never have made it as a picture frame model.
01:01:35It is so cutthroat and so competitive.
01:01:38And ever since I met you, I've been feeling completely crazy.
01:01:42And I like you too.
01:01:44Okay.
01:01:45Okay.
01:01:46Okay.
01:01:47Okay.
01:01:48Okay, so we like each other.
01:01:53Now what?
01:01:57Let's go.
01:01:58Really?
01:01:59Where?
01:02:00Trust me.
01:02:01Where are we going?
01:02:02Let's go.
01:02:04Please.
01:02:05No.
01:02:06Please.
01:02:07No.
01:02:08Doesn't one of them have a car?
01:02:10No.
01:02:11Not one that'll make it.
01:02:12No, I'm not doing this.
01:02:13I'm gonna lose my job.
01:02:14You hate your job.
01:02:15Yeah, but that and my thumbs are the only thing separating me from the animals.
01:02:27Besides, I could get arrested.
01:02:29I am not doing this.
01:02:30And I'm not gonna feel bad about it.
01:02:32And there's nothing you can say to change my mind.
01:02:35Hey.
01:02:36Taking the test drive, huh?
01:02:41Me?
01:02:42Can I drive?
01:02:46No.
01:02:47Okay.
01:02:48Love is a game for tip to play.
01:02:50Don't go wishing your life away.
01:02:52Come on now.
01:02:53No.
01:02:58Okay.
01:03:23Grandma, come on now, take a run at the sun.
01:03:27We're taking the car, honey!
01:03:31Whoo!
01:03:53Do you know where she might go to get married?
01:03:57Only one place she would go.
01:04:24Love is a game for two to play.
01:04:27Don't go wishing your life away.
01:04:30Come on now.
01:04:32The sun and sun.
01:04:35Love is a game.
01:04:38Games can be fun.
01:04:41Love is a game.
01:04:44Games should be fun.
01:04:47Love is a game.
01:04:50Games can be fun.
01:04:53Games can be fun.
01:04:57Hey.
01:04:58What do you think?
01:04:59Nice.
01:05:00Hey, so what's their deal?
01:05:01Are they like a thing?
01:05:03Like weirdo and weirdette?
01:05:04No.
01:05:05No, they're just roomies.
01:05:07What about you and Anderson?
01:05:09Oh, yeah.
01:05:10We make out once in a while.
01:05:12Hey, we've been friends since seventh grade.
01:05:15We entered a talent show together as Wayne and Garth.
01:05:18I was Garth.
01:05:20Well, you guys must be pretty close.
01:05:22If you're willing to steal a car for him.
01:05:24Uh, we did not steal a car.
01:05:26We're just on a very, very long test ride.
01:05:28Hey, can I ask you a question?
01:05:31Sure.
01:05:32Uh, you know, he's had a pretty tough last year.
01:05:40And, um...
01:05:41Ted, I'm not gonna hurt him.
01:05:45yeah cuz he's an idiot you know but he's my best friend someone's gonna watch
01:05:51his back hey hey hello that's it that's all you have to say to me hello hello
01:06:08stranger I won't be such a stranger when I detach your bicuspids from your
01:06:12alveolus and the grim reaper ass clam exacting my vengeance
01:06:35again Katie would you like to make the introduction Anderson this is William my
01:06:43wife wife I'm her wife I mean she's my wife to be we're engaged what you didn't tell him
01:06:51I asked her to marry me three days ago I never said yes you accepted a balloon bouquet for me
01:06:57and in court of law that's the same thing as saying yes I don't think that's true your problem here
01:07:01folks oh no there's no problem here officer this is him and he said he was just going for a test drive
01:07:09see yeah oh excuse me you folks move along now all right okay officer thanks we're gonna we're gonna get
01:07:27go on bye this could be really bad hi mom guess where I am
01:07:49oh my word what is it mother Anderson's in trouble it's that girl I just know it
01:08:01all right you two are gonna have to cut it short
01:08:05haven't we taught that boy values there's lemonade in the fridge
01:08:11welcome to tuxedo depot I'm bill I'll be your conductor how can I help you reach your formal wear
01:08:23destination you can help me by shutting up bill this is a stick-up we don't want your money
01:08:30what do you think I think you look great doesn't look great yeah he looks great oh yeah great in fact
01:08:45pizza gotcha pizza you're under arrest
01:09:00so um Katie tells me uh you know some sort of circus uh break
01:09:18yeah I think that's the word she used
01:09:22yeah I guess there aren't a lot of girls that spend their weekends learning how to breathe fire
01:09:27no how do you breathe fire well it's like the old saying you just pucker your lips in the blow
01:09:39and then of course you try not to inhale the propellant because you can collapse a lung
01:09:48all units all units 1016 in progress 1016 at tuxedo depot
01:09:54damn it all right we're moving out of here real slow nobody say nothing nobody do nothing nobody gets hurt
01:09:59thank you you've been very nice
01:10:02put your hands on your head
01:10:07you've had a tough couple of days huh
01:10:17yeah aside from being hit by a car and assaulted by an orthodontist
01:10:35this hasn't been too bad I'm sorry about William he's usually a nice guy you know it's it's funny it's funny you say that because I remember thinking as he was kicking me in the face hey this guy is pretty nice
01:10:48I'll shut up
01:10:50you know I just think maybe the world is trying to tell us something
01:10:57well like what
01:11:00like maybe you can't look across a crowded restaurant
01:11:04find the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with
01:11:07hey you didn't read me my right
01:11:10not my problems don't you the judge
01:11:13get a space heater
01:11:15I demand to be murdered
01:11:16oh my god
01:11:17oh my god
01:11:18holy shit
01:11:19mom
01:11:20Katie
01:11:20baby bear
01:11:21dad
01:11:22Anderson
01:11:23this is my dad
01:11:24hi
01:11:25hi
01:11:26nice nice to meet you
01:11:29excuse me
01:11:30what are you doing here
01:11:31we stole a car
01:11:32allegedly
01:11:33oh yeah pipe down this guy's fugitive ass is going back to the big house
01:11:39I'm sorry your dad's a fugitive
01:11:40yep
01:11:41okay all right come on let's go
01:11:44mom dad
01:11:50oh my god
01:11:51whoa whoa whoa who the hot springs are you people
01:11:54we're his parents
01:11:55nice to see you again Katie
01:11:59hi
01:11:59mommy
01:12:01mom dad
01:12:02these are Katie's parents
01:12:04why are Katie's parents in the hoose cow
01:12:07yeah mom
01:12:09he kidnapped me
01:12:11he kidnapped me
01:12:13from my steward
01:12:14what are you talking about
01:12:15oh baby what are you doing
01:12:17no
01:12:17no
01:12:19no
01:12:19back me up
01:12:20no no
01:12:21that's okay
01:12:22ow
01:12:23ow
01:12:24ow
01:12:24ow
01:12:26all right freeze
01:12:28whoa
01:12:28you freeze
01:12:30whoa
01:12:30what
01:12:31no
01:12:32lady put down the piece
01:12:33put down the piece
01:12:34I will blow you away
01:12:36don't you think I won't
01:12:37I will violate your bodily organs with separate steel
01:12:40put down the gun now
01:12:41put the gun down
01:12:43put down the gun now
01:12:45to preserve the rule of law
01:12:46I will gladly sacrifice this man
01:12:48what
01:12:49mom
01:12:53not now sweetheart
01:12:54drop it
01:12:54that is not police procedure
01:12:56just startle me
01:12:57help me out
01:12:58give me the key
01:12:58give me those things right now
01:12:59get over there
01:13:00get over there
01:13:01get your jacks
01:13:04come on
01:13:05come on
01:13:07we're not going anywhere
01:13:11whoa
01:13:11my son is not going to be an accessory to a felony
01:13:15will you get a load of this one my son's too good for felonies you snobby bitch
01:13:19lady I have half a mind to stick my boot right up your cooter
01:13:22what
01:13:23what you
01:13:23you
01:13:23whoa
01:13:28whoa
01:13:28whoa
01:13:29whoa
01:13:29whoa
01:13:29whoa
01:13:30whoa
01:13:31whoa
01:13:31Katie
01:13:32Katie what are you doing
01:13:35Um, I don't know.
01:13:39These past few days, I haven't really had any idea what I'm doing, Anderson.
01:13:44But what I'm realizing is I'm standing here shooting a stolen gun,
01:13:49which, by the way, is pretty cool.
01:13:51Oh!
01:13:52Um, what I'm realizing is that I don't care
01:13:57as long as I can keep doing it with you, Anderson,
01:14:00because I think you can.
01:14:03I think you can look across a crowded restaurant
01:14:06and fall in love with a grubby stranger.
01:14:09And I think love can be instantaneous and insane.
01:14:16So, Anderson, for the last time, I'm asking you...
01:14:22Will you marry me?
01:14:24Yes.
01:14:25Yes.
01:14:26Yes.
01:14:27Yeah.
01:14:28Yes.
01:14:29Yes.
01:14:30Yes.
01:14:31Yes!
01:14:32Yes!
01:14:33Yes!
01:14:34Yeah!
01:14:36Yes!
01:14:37I got it.
01:14:38I got it!
01:14:39I got it!
01:14:40I got it!
01:14:41I got it!
01:14:42I got it!
01:14:44I got it!
01:14:45You gotta go!
01:14:46Yeah!
01:14:47Oh, let's go!
01:14:49Oh, oh, oh!
01:14:50Take the band, the keys are on the rope!
01:14:52Take the band, the keys are on the rope!
01:14:54Here you go, girl!
01:14:58Here you go, girl!
01:15:04Don't stop believing!
01:15:28How do you feel? Nervous?
01:15:32No, I feel good.
01:15:38So let me ask you,
01:15:40when you met this guy, did you know?
01:15:46Yeah.
01:15:48I guess I did.
01:15:50I love you, Daddy.
01:15:52I love you, too, baby bear.
01:15:54I love you, too, baby bear.
01:15:56I love you, too, baby bear.
01:16:00Look at me crying like a jailhouse bitch.
01:16:06Stop it.
01:16:18Take care of my baby girl.
01:16:20I will.
01:16:26Because if you don't, they'll never find you.
01:16:38My name is Dr. Favreau.
01:16:40And on behalf of my family,
01:16:42I'd like to welcome you all
01:16:44to the House of Wedded Bliss.
01:16:46A couple who marries here,
01:16:48I personally guarantee
01:16:50that's a marriage
01:16:52that's gonna last for life.
01:16:54That's gonna last for life.
01:16:56And we never forget a face.
01:16:58Ain't that right, Lois and Smitty?
01:17:00No.
01:17:02Now, on to the business at hand.
01:17:06Anderson,
01:17:08do you take this woman
01:17:10to be your wife?
01:17:12Do you?
01:17:24Anderson?
01:17:32Sorry, I don't.
01:17:34Vanessa, when I met you,
01:17:35I thought you were perfect.
01:17:37And you are.
01:17:38I mean, look at you.
01:17:40Yeah.
01:17:42But then I met Katie.
01:17:44And she's...
01:17:46She's perfect for me.
01:17:50Sorry.
01:17:52Are you heartbroken?
01:17:53You're heartbroken.
01:17:54Anderson,
01:17:55I want you to meet somebody.
01:17:57You remember Morty, right?
01:17:59Shooter, shooter.
01:18:00We gotta shoot her.
01:18:01He killed himself after I died.
01:18:03Isn't that so romantic?
01:18:05I couldn't without her, dude.
01:18:07I know.
01:18:08We just met.
01:18:09But she's the one.
01:18:10You know what I mean?
01:18:12Yeah, I think I do.
01:18:14Listen, babe.
01:18:15We gotta blow.
01:18:16I'll be in the Humvee.
01:18:21Bye.
01:18:22Do you want to get back to your wedding now, son?
01:18:37I do.
01:18:39I do.
01:18:40I do.
01:18:41I do.
01:18:42I do.
01:18:43I do.
01:18:44You got a ring?
01:18:45Because if you don't,
01:18:46we have some splendid ones in the gift shop for $19.95.
01:18:48No.
01:18:49No, no, no.
01:18:50I have a ring.
01:18:52I have another ring.
01:18:53Remember this?
01:18:55You do.
01:18:57I do.
01:18:58I do.
01:18:59I do.
01:19:00I do.
01:19:01I do.
01:19:02I do.
01:19:03I do.
01:19:04You got a ring?
01:19:05Because if you don't,
01:19:06we have some splendid ones in the gift shop for $19.95.
01:19:07No, no, no, no, no.
01:19:08I have a ring.
01:19:09I have another.
01:19:10I have another ring.
01:19:12Remember this?
01:19:13By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.
01:19:43I love you.
01:19:50I love you.
01:19:55Alright, freeze.
01:19:56I mojacked your ass.
01:19:57That's him right there.
01:19:58Arrest him.
01:19:59Arrest him.
01:20:00Alright, okay.
01:20:01That is my ear, my friend.
01:20:03Sorry.
01:20:04How would you like it?
01:20:05If I did that for you!
01:20:06I said I'm sorry.
01:20:08Alrighty.
01:20:09On a personal note,
01:20:12I understand we have some newlyweds here?
01:20:15Yes, sir.
01:20:17I'd like to offer the congratulations of myself and the whole team.
01:20:23Thank you very much.
01:20:29Uh-oh!
01:20:31We didn't know where you were registered.
01:20:33Oh, wow.
01:20:34It's a blender.
01:20:35I had some help picking it out.
01:20:38William?
01:20:40I realized something today, Katie.
01:20:42No matter how hard you try to plan your life, life has a plan for you all its own.
01:20:50Good luck.
01:20:51Thank you, guys.
01:20:52Guys, thank you.
01:20:53Why is he hugging the cop?
01:20:55Okay.
01:20:56Well...
01:20:57Okay, guys.
01:20:58It's very nice of you.
01:20:59No, seriously.
01:21:00Why is he hugging the cop?
01:21:01Okay.
01:21:02Um...
01:21:03On a...
01:21:04On a professional note, y'all are under arrest.
01:21:07Right.
01:21:08Uh, just, um, considering we might not all be together again for quite some time, uh, Katie
01:21:12and I were hoping to get a picture before we all go off to the big house.
01:21:16Uh...
01:21:17That's a great idea.
01:21:18Yeah.
01:21:19That's a great idea.
01:21:20You want me to do it?
01:21:21Would you?
01:21:22Oh, come on!
01:21:23Hey, you know, you got...
01:21:24You're walking on thin ice here, my friend.
01:21:26You are on very thin ice.
01:21:29Let me...
01:21:30Let me see.
01:21:31Don't forget to push the button for the flag.
01:21:34Oh, get in here, guys.
01:21:35Oh, he's great.
01:21:37Okay.
01:21:38Okay.
01:21:39Could y'all just scoot you in a little?
01:21:41One...
01:21:42Two...
01:21:44Three.
01:21:45I love love.
01:21:47I love being in love.
01:21:49I don't care what it does to me.
01:21:52Take these tatter boxes, they used to hold you close.
01:21:56Break them down, build them back up with your bones.
01:21:59Now all you do is construct a mess.
01:22:02You're good to me when only flush your memory with nothing to show.
01:22:07When we would take trips, we saw we'd never take pictures.
01:22:12Pictures only prove you can't advance.
01:22:15Well, now all these, those photographs could convince you that what we had would only turn out a negative.
01:22:21A negative.
01:22:22Well, well, well.
01:22:23If fingertips are relationships that I could barely carry away.
01:22:31If fingers are mistakes, don't use this one to point the blame.
01:22:37No, just sing, sing.
01:22:40I love love.
01:22:41I love being in love.
01:22:42I don't care what it does to me.
01:22:43These pills are fine to pass their time to lock my mind a drug.
01:22:44Then we'll take our chances.
01:22:45We'll ask them wrong.
01:22:46We'll never speak again.
01:22:47How?
01:22:48I love being in love.
01:22:49I love being in love.
01:22:50I don't pick up that line.
01:22:51And we'll take our chances, we'll ask them all
01:22:55We'll never speak again, have a lot of feeling in love
01:23:15Don't pick up that line, you just have a good time
01:23:19You don't need him, you need to be seen
01:23:22Someone else can treat you wrong, so you, my love, can sing this song
01:23:27I love love, I love being in love
01:23:31I don't care what it does to me, it'll be
01:23:35We'll find a passer time, so I got my new drug
01:23:39And we'll take advantage, I'll claim that's what I want
01:23:42To be the new statistic, how
01:23:45I love how, I love how, I love being in love
01:23:51Take these tattered boxes that used to hold you close
01:24:02Break them down, build them back up with your bones
01:24:05Now all you feel is construct a mess
01:24:08You're dead to me, if love is death
01:24:10You're a memory with nothing to show
01:24:12Well, well, well
01:24:14Your fingertips are
01:24:16Relationships down
01:24:18Well maybe I could use a break
01:24:21She smiles, she points at me
01:24:24She says, baby I love how you sing
01:24:27Suggesting thing
01:24:30I love love, I love being in love
01:24:35I don't care what it does to me
01:24:38I love love, I love being in love
01:24:43I don't care what it does to me
01:24:45These pills, find a passer time, so I got my new drug
01:24:50And we'll take our chances, we'll rise above
01:24:54We'll last a billion how
01:24:56I love how, I love how, I love being in love
01:25:02It's just me and my puppy
01:25:04Together we're so very happy
01:25:08And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:25:14No, I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:25:17It's just me and my honey
01:25:21Together we're so very funny
01:25:24And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:25:29No, I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:25:34And nothing will be taken from my hands now
01:25:40With any resistance from me
01:25:45Nothing can last
01:25:46How can I pass
01:25:49On love and understanding
01:25:52Oh, it's just me and my guitar
01:25:57Together we'll go so very far
01:26:02And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:26:06No, I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:26:10Here we go now, that'd be on
01:26:29That'd be on
01:26:31And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:26:36No, I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:26:40That I love the light
01:26:42And the bitter world won't bring us down
01:26:44And nothing will be taken from my hands now
01:26:49Within me
01:26:51At resistence from me
01:26:53Nothing can last
01:26:55How can I pass
01:26:57On love and understanding
01:27:00Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
01:27:03It's just me and the chance
01:27:06Together we will be the chance
01:27:10And the bitter world won't break us down, no
01:27:15I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:27:18I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:27:21I'm looking on the bright side of things
01:27:25I'm looking on the bright side of things
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