00:00Just like Justin, the filmmaker, Ray, was also born in a poor family.
00:07My grandmother, before she got old,
00:10she had a session with her friends every day.
00:15They played cards.
00:17So I was okay with gambling.
00:20I was exposed to it.
00:22But there were conversations in the family,
00:25because we were gamblers.
00:28He said that he was the first one to get into gambling
00:31instead of going to school.
00:34That feeling came back to me when I was a kid.
00:37When I first got into it.
00:39Actually, my memory is very vivid when it comes to that.
00:42That's why maybe it stuck in my mind.
00:44The exposure to gambling hit me.
00:49What he thought were simple games for kids,
00:52turned out to be gambling.
00:57In 2008, Ray became addicted to online gambling.
01:01The 500 that night,
01:03I won 15,000 to 18,000.
01:06That's how much I won in one night.
01:08Maybe it was just two hours.
01:10No, it was just a game.
01:11Beginner's luck.
01:12So I thought,
01:13why can't I make gambling my livelihood?
01:17This is the specific time.
01:20This is the money.
01:21If I win,
01:22I want to make it a system
01:24to make gambling my livelihood.
01:27Those are the stupid ideas
01:31that I had as a gambler.
01:36At first, Ray was still in control of gambling.
01:40But not long after,
01:41he didn't notice that he was also addicted to it.
01:45It grew.
01:46Until my money,
01:47the money for my family,
01:50I was able to get it.
01:53Until such time,
01:55after a few years,
01:57I was able to get a lot of money.
02:00I was able to gamble.
02:01I was able to steal.
02:03Because I was so addicted to gambling
02:07that I had to gamble every day.
02:09I wasn't chasing victory anymore.
02:11It was time for me to chase my defeat.
02:14I was chasing losses.
02:17I was so sick of it.
02:19For a few days,
02:20maybe 3 to 4 days,
02:22I couldn't sleep.
02:23I couldn't eat.
02:24I was drinking coffee instead of gambling.
02:27I wasted my time.
02:28It was so insane.
02:31Ray admitted that his online gambling addiction
02:33caused a lot of problems
02:35to his family.
02:38That's why my wife always blames me
02:40for making ends meet.
02:41I don't care.
02:43You have to give me the money.
02:47I'm working.
02:48It's my money.
02:49It's selfish of an addict like me
02:52to gamble.
02:54It affected me.
02:55My parents are ashamed of me
02:57because they owe me money.
03:01In the midst of Ray's addiction
03:03to online gambling,
03:04it seemed like he was able to save his own family.
03:07He was able to save enough money
03:10for his son's medical expenses.
03:15One time, my son was hospitalized.
03:17He needed to undergo surgery
03:20for appendicitis.
03:22He was about to leave the hospital.
03:24I was already holding the money.
03:26Walking distance,
03:27I was able to go to a bingo place.
03:31Online bingo.
03:32I was holding the money.
03:33I was supposed to pay him at the hospital.
03:36He was about to leave the hospital the next day.
03:38I ran out of money that night.
03:42I lost my friends and family.
03:45They said,
03:46Ray is not going to lend me money.
03:48It's very hard to accept that from a family.
03:51Ray admitted that he didn't win gambling.
03:54But he said it's still hard for him
03:56to escape his addiction.
03:58It was a cycle.
03:59It happened again and again.
04:00When I was able to pay my debt,
04:02I felt strong again.
04:03I knew that I wouldn't win gambling.
04:06I knew that I would lose.
04:07But I kept repeating it.
04:09Expecting that I might win today.
04:12But I was trapped in that cycle.
04:16It was early in the morning.
04:17My mother was already asleep.
04:20Maybe around 1 o'clock.
04:22I decided that time.
04:24I said,
04:26I'm tired.
04:27I'm tired.
04:28I have to end this.
04:29I hugged my mother.
04:31She's my wife and my daughter.
04:33I took the bus home.
04:35I said,
04:36This is it.
04:38I took a taxi.
04:40It was in Cubao.
04:41I suddenly had a breakdown.
04:43I was crying.
04:46The taxi driver was surprised.
04:48He said,
04:50Do you want to have coffee?
04:53He said,
04:54Sure.
04:56We went to Cubao.
05:00We had coffee.
05:01He said,
05:02If you don't mind,
05:04it's okay.
05:06I said,
05:07I'll go home.
05:09I said,
05:10I'll go home.
05:11I said,
05:12I'll go home.
05:13I said,
05:14I'll go home.
05:15I said,
05:16I'll go home.
05:17I said,
05:18I'll go home.
05:19I said,
05:20I'll go home.
05:21I said,
05:22I'll go home.
05:23I said,
05:24I'll go home.
05:25I said,
05:26I'll go home.
05:27I said,
05:28I'll go home.
05:29I said,
05:30I'll go home.
05:31I said,
05:32I'll go home.
05:33I said,
05:34I'll go home.
05:35I said,
05:36I'll go home.
05:37I said,
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