00:00Paritrati has quoted verse 337 from Vivek Chudamani, the verse says, a seeker of liberation
00:23who being learned, able to discriminate between the real and unreal, believing the Vaisnavas
00:38as authority, fixing his gaze upon the self, the supreme reality, and being a seeker of
00:49liberation, will, like a child, consciously run after unreal, which will surely be the
01:05cause of one's downfall, question mark, and then she asks, dear Acharyaji, the question
01:22is, who is the child in the above verse, also I would like to understand my child behaviour
01:34as the child keeps running behind unreal things, most of the time, there is no schedule, or
01:53discipline, even not taking care of his own health and hygiene, when we request in any
02:08form, or guide, or suggest, he rebels, he displays disrespect towards beings, and shows anger through his words,
02:28not helping even for a while, even in the smallest words, and his attitude is becoming
02:48more and more aggressive, so there are two parts to this question, the first part is,
03:08who is the child being talked of, and the second part relates to a personal problem,
03:31who is the child being talked of, one must understand, physicality is bound, and it is
04:01starts expressing itself as soon as it is born, divinity remains just a seed, that's the child,
04:17all flesh and bones, body, behaving exactly as per his physical conditioning, guided by nothing,
04:46except the bodily impulses, that's the child, that's how man becomes his child, as merely the
05:04body, and that is why, at the outset itself, man is not very comfortable, child cries when he is
05:25born, and it is rare to find a child restful, the child turns hither and thither, the child grabs,
05:40the child explores, the child is always busy with things, that's how we all are born, restless.
06:10Obviously, if one is born restless, then it would be great if restlessness reduces, or obliterates,
06:26and that is the purpose of upbringing and education, to rid the child of his innate biological tendencies,
06:50that give him no joy, but keep him occupied, and tied down, instead if the upbringing and education
07:19are not proper, not deeply spiritual, not divine at the core, then the child becomes all the more conditioned,
07:45he was already restless due to biological reasons, and he becomes even more restless due to his upbringing, and other social reasons,
08:05few, very few are those, who are lucky enough to grow up in a way, that
08:33brings them closer to peace, and fulfillment.
08:49Adi Shankar is referring to those lucky few, in this verse, he is saying, if you are someone,
09:07who is now not taking the physical or psychological tendencies as himself, if you are someone who is now one with the supreme self,
09:31then would you ever again go back to your childish ways, that's his way of saying, that once you have tasted the joy of the self,
09:59then the various pleasures of the body start appearing very very childish,
10:19joy is pleasure of another order, joy is a pleasure that is never threatened, joy is a pleasure that doesn't wax or wane,
10:39joy is the pleasure that you don't have to try to obtain, joy is the pleasure that doesn't make you more restless,
11:03once you have immersed yourself in the joy of truth, what value can you accord to the childish pleasures of the body,
11:23it is not renunciation, it is common sense, once you have something very very fulfilling,
11:41why would you give it up for something that is not even remotely as fulfilling,
12:01who wants to compromise the great for the small, the everlasting for the ephemeral, the total for the partial,
12:27and if someone does want to give up the total for the partial, then he is just being childishly foolish, that's what Adyashankar is saying,
12:43then you have mentioned about your son, the kid at your home,
13:01what you can do is neglect your health and hygiene, the shabbiness and other things,
13:29that's how we all are born, aren't we,
13:53at a young one, the young one of human beings, the young one of animals, a human kid,
14:11papa, the kid of a goat, architect, little rabbit,
14:33look at any of them and see how they are, they are not driven by any higher pursuits, that's not for them,
15:01they want their feed regularly, they want food and water and security,
15:17it doesn't matter much to them whether the mother is contented or not,
15:35the kid clamors for his personal feed, the child says give me food, where is my sweet, where is my bread,
15:59and it doesn't matter to him where the bread is coming from,
16:09the parents might have stolen the bread from somewhere, it doesn't matter to the kid,
16:15the kid is not going to ask, where did the bread come from,
16:20the kid wants his toy and papa must have the money to get him the toy,
16:32the father might be a corrupt man and the money might be ill-gotten,
16:41but it doesn't matter to the kid, all that the kid wants is the toy,
16:52and then the kid has to entertain himself,
17:04a copy of the Upanishads might be kept, but for the kid it is just a plaything,
17:12and the kid is tearing the pages apart, it doesn't matter to the kid,
17:22the kid has no higher order values, that's the thing with the body,
17:29it knows no higher order values, all it wants is self-preservation and furtherance of itself,
17:45may I stay protected, and I means the material me, that's what the kid is saying,
18:09so that's the default state, that's how everybody is born,
18:16so you cannot complain if your kid is rowdy or raucous or deviant,
18:28that's how all kids are born,
18:42and then begins a process through which the biological tendencies are purified,
18:57who is the initiator of that process, who is responsible for that process,
19:05the kid is what the kid is, and all kids are born as just biological entities,
19:20even if Buddhahood is there, it is present in them just as a seed,
19:36this biological entity is then educated, refined,
20:00and the purpose of that education is to align its tendencies with the truth,
20:11who is responsible for that education, the parents and the teachers,
20:20the parents are constantly educating the child at home, the teacher is educating the child at school,
20:31and if the child's tendencies remain as they were at the time of birth,
20:44or get even worse, then what does it show, that the child's education is failing,
20:57that the ones who are teaching the child are not doing justice to their work as teachers,
21:18so is the problem with the child or the teachers of the child,
21:40should we look at the condition of the taught or the teacher,
21:51the taught one is hardly responsible for himself, for he is born disorderly,
22:01the question is what have the teachers then been doing,
22:11so the question then turns to the questioner, to the mother,
22:27what kind of education is reaching the child, what are you teaching him,
22:33and the child is learning not only through your words but through your conduct and your total being,
22:42the child is absorbing everything,
22:54what is it that you are displaying to the child everyday,
22:59and even if the teachers at the school are failing, who chose those teachers and that school for the child,
23:11the mother did and the father did, so the mother and the father have to answer,
23:21what kind of teachers are they, but then before the teacher can be of value to the taught,
23:30first of all the teacher must be self-illumined, is the teacher self-illumined,
23:39is the mother really a realized one, and if mother is not someone who understands,
23:54if the mother is herself caught in tangles, then how is the child going to grow beyond the disorder,
24:12the disorder is innate, the disorder is biological,
24:29the question is why have the bringers of order failed,
24:42because this order that must be brought to the child is not a commodity, is not a thing,
24:55it is something that must radiate from your being, you cannot hold it in your hand and hand over to somebody,
25:24it is a contagious thing, you must have it to give it to the other,
25:43to help the other candle be lighted, first of all the helping candle must have some light,
26:06the child will not be born enlightened, that's not how prakriti operates,
26:21light has to touch him, he carries light within like a candle,
26:36but the light within will gain expression only upon right association,
26:48the child must be touched by someone who is full of light,
27:03does the child have that company, and if the child doesn't have that company, should we blame the child?
27:15So, you know Pari, where the problem is and therefore where the remedy is,
27:25it is impossible for learned parents to be poor parents,
27:41and when I say learned, I do not mean learned in terms of being knowledgeable or scholarly,
27:48I mean wisdom, I mean realization, I mean love,
27:59your wisdom, your love is the necessary teacher, you must first of all awaken your own wisdom,
28:15you must first of all call forth your own love, and then the child will surely respond,
28:29the child then is a reflection of who the parent is, the growth of the child then is a barometer of the growth of parents,
28:49the state of the child then is a litmus test on the state of the parents and the teachers,
29:08it is wonderful that children are unable to conceal their disorderly instincts,
29:21they are unable to wheel their diseased state of mind,
29:28adults too are deeply disorderly, but they conceal their disorder with etiquette,
29:42with politeness, with all kinds of socially accepted behavior and protocols,
29:59with kids that does not happen, the inner chaos gets directly reflected in the behavior of the kid,
30:19the kid is not yet cunning enough to conceal, it's great, because the kid cannot yet conceal,
30:37so the parents cannot yet deceive themselves,
30:51the kid's behavior exposes the state of his education,
31:18the kid's behavior is an open and irrefutable proof,
31:42the proof will be available only for a limited time, the kid will grow up,
31:49and just as he is absorbing all sorts of things from his environment, he will also absorb,
32:04that he needs to display socially correct behavior, and then there will be no flagrant evidence available,
32:22disorder would still be there, but hidden, camouflaged,
32:36right now the disorder is open, expressed, undeniable,
32:51so this is an opportunity, somebody is holding the mirror to you,
33:08if you do not know how you are doing in life, then honestly look at the state of your child, you will know.
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