How to be spiritually loving towards one's children? || Acharya Prashant (2019)

Acharya Prashant

Video Information:  Shabdyog session, 24.08.2019, Advait Bodhsthal, Greater Noida, India   Context:   ~ What is it to really love a child? ~ What is the best gift a child can receive form us? ~ How to be a good parent? ~ What is object- base Love? ~ How to be Love pure and true for a child?  Music Credits: Milind Date ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .

Transcript

00:00Dear Acharyaji, Pranam. When I read VVV on love, I feel He is making only superficial

00:15separation between the psychic and physical aspects of love. But He somehow implies that

00:22these two aspects work together. First kind of impersonal love He mentions about the lens

00:36being close to the source, which I see as being close to God or Guru. Secondly, He talks

00:43about going away from source, makes us more focused on objects and that makes us fall

00:49for object-based love. Acharyaji, in my life, I feel I am a victim of object-based love

00:57and my object is my 5-year-old daughter. After reading and listening to you on love, I could

01:05see the impurities in my so-called love. Now the only objective for me is to make every

01:12possible effort to bring her closer to the truth. In spite of this priority, which I

01:19suppose is very impersonal, I see the elements of body identification such as hugs, kisses,

01:25pampering in my physical expression towards her. I feel I have a degree of attachment for her

01:31physical safety too, to which I always feel helpless against. VVV says to visualize the

01:43mechanism which enables us to live in harmony with these related forces. He has explained it

01:51taking a quadridimensional image or multiplication of the sphere, which I could not quite understand.

01:58Can you elaborate on this? How to approach this accurate vision? Is it possible for me to be free

02:07of the suffering of being body identified for the well-being of my daughter? Grateful for the

02:14teachings and the blessings. Alok, we have discussed this time and again. First of all,

02:27the example relating to the sphere and the quadridimensional thing. We usually live in a

02:35world of three dimensions, of which the most obvious example is a sphere. So, the sphere pertains

02:51to a tridimensional perception, which is the characteristic of our brain and this universe

02:59both. This brain can perceive only a three-dimensional world and therefore the world

03:07is three-dimensional for the brain. What is meant by a quadridimensional thing? The fourth dimension

03:16has been introduced just to tell us that something beyond the third exists. Or you could say, if you

03:26have to talk the void-centric language, that the fourth dimension has been introduced to show you

03:33that the three dimensions are just void. So, there is nothing more to it or nothing complicated in it.

03:40Now, coming to the personal question. You see, the kid is there. What does it then mean to

03:55love the kid? You could hug her, kiss her, pamper her body, go for her physical security. To what

04:08extent would that be good for her? Don't you say that in love you want the welfare of the loved

04:17one? What is the definition of welfare? To the extent we are the body, bodily welfare is our

04:30welfare. To the extent our interests and the interests of the body diverge, the welfare of

04:40the body would hardly lead to our welfare. So, do take care of the kid's body to the extent she

04:49is synonymous with the body. But then very soon you will come to a point where helping her body

04:59would not be really helping her. Then if you are still attached to her little body, you are not

05:07doing her any favours. In fact, it would be a disservice. Because when the father is attached

05:12to the kid's body, the kid takes it as a value signal. The kid says probably the body is the

05:20greatest thing in the world and it is the best thing to be attached to. You get attached to the

05:27kid's body, the kid will get attached to her own body and she will also get attached to everything

05:33that is bodily, which means she will become super materialistic. Now, will that amount to the kid's

05:41welfare if she becomes purely materialistic, loses all conception of the transcendental? That is

05:50what you do when you look at any person, let alone a kid, as merely a body. And that's why lovers are

05:57so poisonous for each other. They look at each other purely as bodies. It is a bit moving. There

06:24was this woman who had come to me. A woman, a girl, quite young. And she said she has not been

06:48feeling all right and many kinds of stories. And the descriptions and the stories that she gave me

06:57didn't quite add up. There was something missing. So I kept probing, probing. And then she said

07:06she has been in an affair since a long period, a few years. And the girl and the boy, the man,

07:22they decided to go out on a date and make out. And in the process of travelling and reaching that

07:33place, she fell ill, quite ill. So she had fever. And the couple had come over probably only for a

07:51small period and probably only for one day, one night, that kind of a thing. And on that night,

07:59she developed some kind of a high fever. And the man still insisted, rather demanded,

08:16that they must have sex. And that incident happened and she started keeping unwell.

08:29And it had been months since she had been in such a condition.

08:39And she broke down and all that. So it was both nauseating and moving. That's how lovers look at

09:00each other, often. They instill a deep sense of body identification into each other. You can be

09:19an individual in your space, private space, but in front of your man, you have to be a woman. You

09:31cannot be gender neutral in front of your man. Becomes very difficult. And you are tremendously

09:36lucky if you can have such a man. A man who does not demand that you be a woman. Rarely found.

09:44And vice versa, obviously. You can totally be free of your gender. You can just be an individual,

10:05a consciousness. But the moment the woman comes to you, you are obliged to be a man.

10:11Very difficult for the woman to look at you as a professional, as an artist, as a painter,

10:22whatever you might be. You might be the greatest scientist. Your woman comes to you and she looks

10:27at you as a man. Gone. Finished. The scientist is dead. Only the man with his genitals remains.

10:35So, when you are with someone who is looking at you purely as a body, the fellow is doing you a

10:50great disservice, Alok. If you will look at your daughter, even from the point of view of her

10:55physical protection, purely as a body, then you are not being good to her. Not at all.

11:02We are anyway born body-identified. And then to make things worse, if we are with someone who is

11:16all the time asking, Oh, how is your hair, beta? How is your hand, beta? Have you had lunch? Have

11:24you had dinner? Oh, the dress is looking so good on you, beta. The kid is busy playing with her

11:36friends in the community park. And then you hurriedly and nervously go around looking for

11:49her. Where is she? Where is she? What happened to her? And the kid discerns that nervousness,

11:55that insecurity on her face. You know what is the value instruction you are giving her?

12:01The joy in playing is inferior to the pleasure of physical security. What was the kid enjoying?

12:18The joy of playing. And you just showed up with a freckled face. And what value perception did

12:32you just communicate? The pleasure of security is higher than the joy of free play. The daughter

12:45just received a very bad instruction. Don't do that. If you are a loving father, then bring

12:59greatness to her. Yes, of course. Bodily, she is an object. But remaining an object,

13:14you very well know she will not find peace. So don't let her be object identified.

13:22How to relate with someone? Not to further their body identification but to relieve them of their

13:39body identification. How to relate with a living object called a person? How to relate with a

13:48living object? Teach her she is not an object. That's my advice, Alok. How to relate with a

14:02living object? Teach her she is not an object. That is the only service you can bring to her.

14:12That will be the only proof of real love. Turn the object into the universal subject.

14:21And that requires patience. You cannot do that overnight. She is so young. You can't bring

14:34Ashtavakra to her. You'll have to be very patient, very persistent and very very careful. Because

14:45it is through your actions, your life that she will pick all the small signals. Pick and imbibe.

14:57So be very careful. Your own life, your words, your expressions, your personality is going to

15:10be probably the biggest influence upon her. And influenced she would be. If not from you,

15:16then from somebody else. Influence is unavoidable. So better influence her in a way that brings

15:26reality to her.

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