00:00Namaste, sir. My question is again kind of related in the context of suffering. You just
00:08said that tension shouldn't percolate beyond a point. And here, I'm in the United States,
00:13I live in Virginia. And here I see many kids, teenagers, 12 year, 13 year, 15 year olds,
00:21they have anxiety issues. And I see them popping anti-anxiety pills like anything. And even
00:28the doctors who they have consulted, they prescribe these pills openly. Now I understand
00:35that mental health is a spectrum and there are different kinds of help that a person
00:39might need, therapy or medication. But here, I see that problem as growing by leaps and
00:46bounds. Like even because of work stress, say I consult a therapist, the first thing
00:51that they would say is, yeah, pop a pill. Take this pill, take that pill, it will help
00:55you sleep well. So now these kids do that because their suffering feels very real to
01:00them. So how would you explain, even begin to explain such kids that, you know, it's
01:05not real. And they have a point within them that's untouched, when they're clearly not
01:11in the state to, they feel that they can't go on without these pills. So just wanted
01:16to understand if we can help such people. And there's a growing number here.
01:21Yes, it's not very complicated. It's all actually quite simple to understand. You see, you don't
01:30really have to convince them in the affirmative. You don't have to tell them that there exists
01:40a point within that the world cannot touch. Just have to stop educating them in the inverse
01:55kind of doctrines. See, the kid at 12 or 13 is yielding to anxiety and other sicknesses
02:14because for all these 13 years, he has been conditioned into believing that the world
02:25is everything. Right? That's not knowledge that comes with birth. That's something that
02:39the environment imposes on that kid. The world is everything. The world is everything.
02:47And if the kid has come to believe that the world is everything, how will there remain
02:53an untouched point within since the world is everything? Therefore, even the insides
03:00will be ruled by the world. Right? And the world as we know is quite fickle. And our
03:11real nature is stability or permanence. If you allow the world to rule here, then there
03:22arises a bewildering dichotomy. Your heart must be a place of serenity and stability.
03:33Whereas, if the world manages to penetrate your heart, your heart becomes a place of
03:42all kinds of fickleness, mobility, unpredictability, nothing trustworthy or dependable. It is this
03:55dichotomy that pushes you into stress, tension, anxiety and other related stuff that constitute
04:06the entire spectrum. It's not something that has happened at the age of 13. Continuously
04:17the kid was being told in ways, direct, indirect, subtle, gross, that the world means so much.
04:26The world means so much. Are you getting it? The dad was fulminating over some lost
04:43opportunity and licking his boss's boots and the kid was observing all that. What does
05:00that tell the kid? The world is everything. Just now I found dad shouting at mom and I
05:14found dad trying to somehow appease his boss. The dad is nobody. Dad is nobody. The world
05:27rules the father. So, the world is everything. Same with the mother. Same everywhere and
05:38same kind of content on the TV and on the internet. The world is everything. The world
05:45is everything. The kid enters the shopping mall or the supermarket and he finds that
05:56the whole spectacle is just so overwhelming that he is left with no space of his own.
06:10Every bit of his insights is occupied by the world. The world starts getting just too
06:20much respect from the kid, too much value. I have come to my teenage now. I am 13 and
06:36the world is everything. So, I must get a certain respect, value, regards from my peers. 13, 12,
06:4914. These are inflection points. The psyche changes because of hormonal stuff and the kid
06:58is saying, you know, I must be appreciated by my peers because the peers are everything and
07:05not everybody would be appreciated by the peers and not every time at least. And when you are
07:14not appreciated, then you lose not just your self-worth but the self itself because the world
07:25had managed to occupy your heart. Your heart breaks. The onus is on the parents and the
07:35teachers to never let the kid get indoctrinated in such a way. There must always be a healthy
07:43contempt for the world. I am not talking of turning the kid mannerless or free of all kind
07:56of etiquette. No, no. I am talking of a healthy contempt. The world should not allow to mean too
08:06much. It must only have the kind of value that it deserves to have, not beyond that.
08:22The mother should never say, I love you so much because you got the gold medal in athletics.
08:29Love is a thing of the heart. It cannot be allowed to depend on a worldly event. The kid
08:38may or may not have come first in the race. We know how athletics is. It's a matter of a fraction
08:52of a second. So, is the mother implying that the silver medal would have meant less love for the
09:03kid? The mother does not know because the mother herself is quite ignorant. She does not know what
09:10she has educated the kid in. She has told the kid that love is dependent on gold. Frankly, that's
09:20the way the mother also thinks of gold. When the husband gets her gold, the mother serves him love,
09:31whatever that love means. So, now the kid is being told you get the gold medal and I'll give you a
09:41special hug and a special dress or a new bicycle and the mother thinks that all this is motherly
09:51and loving. Not motherly, not loving. This is toxic and this was happening at the age of 7 or 8.
09:59The effects would show up 5 years later when the kid turns 12 or 13. Nothing specific has
10:06happened at 12 or 13. It was happening all the way. Are you getting it? Certain things are absolutes
10:17and they must remain absolute. If I love you, I love you. That's not conditional. Obviously, I
10:26want you to do well in athletics and in academics and in all other areas. But I will not say that,
10:32you know, I love you only if you earn so much or your grades exceed this mark.
10:42The fellow gains a lot of respect in the peer group because of the new pair of sneakers and
10:55you know these things mean a lot to teens and preteens. I wanted a pair of slip-ons and I went
11:05to one of these stores and there was this group of the ones who were just growing their facial hair,
11:1412-14 something and the way they were making their decisions, one would come wearing a
11:24particular pair and then there was a kind of plebiscite and the fellow was so concerned,
11:33actually afraid, he was looking into everybody's eyes. Do I have your approval? And then one stud,
11:44smarty, would suddenly take over and say, dude, you look like something. Some fictional character,
11:53don't even know what they relate to. Here you look like this and now the decision is made,
12:00the deal is done. So that's the way they are trained to mentally operate. Now tomorrow some
12:14other pair of shoes and he is ostracized by his community and he comes home totally crestfallen.
12:25The parents won't even appreciate the magnitude of the havoc, but his entire world has come
12:34crashing down and at that age, you know, girls also start meaning something to boys and to girls,
12:43boys start meaning something, especially if a girl has thrown a wicked glance,
12:48some kind of a snide one at the shoes, the fellow would remain in depression for,
13:01I am not trying to trivialize the whole thing, but these things happen and they are very important,
13:08they have to be addressed and the parents must address these things. Son, your worth is not
13:15decided by a pair of shoes. He has to be actively told that because the world and the advertisers
13:22and the shoemakers, what are they trying to impress on the kid? The more expensive your shoe,
13:30the greater is your worth. That's what the whole capitalist consumerist economy is trying to mold
13:41your kid into. He will measure his self-worth by the price tag of the shirt and the shoe and the
13:48mug and whatever else he carries and uses.
13:57So, this is what is the essence of spirituality. Spirituality is not really about
14:06sacred verses and that and that. It's not that, it's not about that. I'm saying it's beyond that.
14:14It's about that and then it's something beyond the verses.
14:20And this, the heart that I'm referring to is the highest. This is what is referred to
14:28in sacred literature as Atma or Hriday or the pure self. But we need not use these terms.
14:38What's the point in using specific words? Atma is just a word.
14:44We need not use it. The real point is to remain
14:50word proof and that does not mean becoming asocial or antisocial. That only means having
14:58the right relationship with the society. Yes, I value you, you are society, but that does not
15:04mean that I'll allow you to penetrate here. You are dear ones. You have my regards and I care for
15:14you and I really want good things to happen to you. All that is okay, but that does not mean
15:21that I'll allow you to rule me from within. We unfortunately and mostly inadvertently
15:32educate our kids very wrongly. We let the world become too meaningful to them. Don't let that
15:40happen. My hope is, my hunch is that a significant proportion of the mental health problem
15:59can be addressed if we give the right kind of value system to the kid.
16:11Yeah, thank you, sir.
16:17I forgot to say something and let me just add that I hope
16:23the importance of the right kind of literature 12 or 14 is not really too small an age.
16:36The age of 5 or 6, there is beautiful and ample wisdom literature. They must be introduced
16:44and by the time they come to 12 or 14, they should have read at least 20 to 30 books
16:55that serve as armors. The right words, the right message, once you really get it,
17:09it prevents a lot of nonsense from reaching you. So, that's very important. The moment your kid
17:19crosses 4 or 5, the right kind of literature should be brought to him or her. If he can't
17:31read, then in the beginning, just through oral instruction and later on books can be
17:42given. So, that too is very important. A well-read kid will not fall prey to easy temptations or
17:53all kinds of griefs.
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