00:00What does it mean to be aromantic?
00:01People all the time would ask me who I had a crush on and who I liked, but I never had an answer for them.
00:06If someone is fully aromantic, how would they date slash marry a person? Aren't those romantic things?
00:11An aromantic person is someone who does not experience romantic attraction, or it can be used as an umbrella term to describe anyone who is on the aromantic spectrum or aro-spec.
00:38Now, aromantic may sound a lot like asexual, but it's important to recognize that these are two very different experiences and two different communities.
00:48So just because you're asexual doesn't mean you're aromantic, and just because you're aromantic doesn't mean you're asexual, although you can be both aromantic and asexual.
00:58The thing that really finally dawned on me and made me realize my aromantic identity was crushes.
01:04When I was growing up, people all the time would ask me who I had a crush on and who I liked, but I never had an answer for them because I never liked anybody or ever had a crush.
01:13For a long time, I associated that with my asexuality. However, that's actually an aromantic thing.
01:18Put a finger down if you see movie theaters and restaurants as fun places to hang out with a friend group.
01:23Put a finger down if you've never had a romantic crush or you've only had a few.
01:27Put a finger down if PDA makes you super uncomfortable.
01:31When people find out someone is aromantic, they think that person is not able to feel love, not able to have passions, like hobbies that they like.
01:41I'm not even joking. I heard that the other day.
01:43That's sad that we associate romantic feelings for the only way that you can feel about someone.
01:49There are so many ways that you can feel about someone.
01:52Your family members, your best friends that are platonic and that are just as deep and just as meaningful.
02:02Romantic attraction and romantic action are two different things.
02:08Romantic attraction is like a crush, right?
02:12Romantic action is boyfriend, girlfriend, dates.
02:16Just because I don't experience romantic attraction doesn't mean I don't.
02:22I can't do romantic actions.
02:25Number two, there are other types of attractions.
02:30Think platonic, think sensual, think domestic attraction.
02:35Those are valid reasons to go on a date or be in a relationship with someone.
02:40If someone is fully aromantic, how would they date slash marry a person?
02:43Aren't those romantic things?
02:45Well, first, marriage isn't necessarily romantic.
02:48Sometimes people that form a very close non-romantic bond do get legally married.
02:53A good example of this is queer platonic relationships.
02:56A lot of people in QPRs get married to each other.
02:58Also, there are a lot of benefits to marriage, especially financial benefits,
03:03in a lot of countries that aromantic people would want to take advantage of if they had a close friend to get married to.
03:08It doesn't get talked about a lot, the sort of grieving process that you go through
03:14and the one that you continue to go through even after you kind of accept your aromanticism.
03:22When you're conditioned to believe that a lot of the highlights of your life will be romantic things,
03:29when you realize that you might not fit quite into that mold, that expectation, it's really hard.
03:37And then that grief comes up again as you watch your friends date and get to experience that kind of love and joy.
03:47It's just hard.
03:49There's no cut and dry answer to know if you're aromantic or on the aromantic spectrum.
03:53That's up for you to decide.
03:55And it's also important to remember that labels are just there to help you.
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