00:00Hello, my name is Luke Patrick and I'm a reporter for the Lancashire Post and the Blackpool Gazette.
00:04This week's silent crime article will focus on domestic violence across Lancashire,
00:08why people don't report it and what support is available.
00:12I spoke to the chair of Preston Domestic Violence Service, Jacqueline Simpson.
00:17Okay, my name is Jackie Williams. I'm chair of Preston Domestic Violence Services.
00:23So what would you say is
00:26the biggest reason why people won't report incidents of domestic abuse?
00:34It's an under-reported crime, essentially I think because people feel shame, guilt,
00:41the stigma attached to being a victim of domestic abuse and the practical issues really,
00:48in terms of what do they do, where do they go, who do they tell, what support can they access, essentially.
00:56Yeah. What would be your message to people who might be in a domestic violence situation
01:06and they're looking for help or something like that?
01:09If they're in a domestic abusive situation, and it can happen to anyone,
01:14it's around making sure that that's not secret, sharing that with people in a safe way.
01:19So friends, family, if they're able to contact, if they're at work, work colleagues,
01:24or seek out information and advice from websites or our website, they can access support that way.
01:33Make that phone call or just reach out, really.
01:37Yeah. What are the different types of domestic abuse?
01:42The different types, I think most people associate it with violence, physical abuse,
01:48but it can be a variety of things, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, emotional and psychological abuse,
01:56coercive control, financial abuse. It encompasses all of those things, really.
02:03Yeah.
02:12Can you tell me a little bit about how people come to the charity?
02:19Okay. So in terms of how they refer, do you mean?
02:22Yeah.
02:23So it's about the majority of our service users, our clients, self-refer, so they contact us direct,
02:29whether that's an online referral, or they ring up their helpline and speak to somebody, speak to one of the workers.
02:36They can get referred by other services as well, so other charities in the local area, or children's social care, statutory services.
02:44They get information from other welfare rights, maybe organisations as well.
02:50So there's a variety of ways that they can be referred to Preston Domestic Violence Services.
02:55Yeah. As we've talked about, there's been a lot of stigma around domestic violence, so I've got some of the myths here.
03:04And so the top one was, a myth about domestic abuse, was if it was that bad, she would leave.
03:10Can you talk a bit about that? I mean, it's a very simple myth.
03:13It is, yeah. It doesn't necessarily just affect females, so she would leave.
03:20It can affect males as well. It can affect anybody, essentially.
03:25And yeah, that is a very simplistic statement, if it was that bad.
03:28We all like to think that we've got some element of agency and control over our lives.
03:34But there's a variety of reasons why people don't leave, and that can relate to financial difficulties.
03:41They feel that they can't support themselves outside of that relationship.
03:44It may be that because of the abuse that's happened to them, the world has become a lot smaller.
03:49They've become more isolated from people.
03:51They don't know where to go, what to do.
03:53And also, it's about self-esteem and self-confidence.
04:01If you're a victim of domestic abuse, you're more likely to feel, or often more being made to feel that it's your fault.
04:09So nobody would believe you.
04:12What can you do about it?
04:13So for a massive amount of reasons why people don't leave.
04:17Yeah.
04:20I think you kind of touched on this one as well.
04:23But well, we've basically gone over this, but the next one was going to be domestic abuse always involves physical violence.
04:30But yeah, that's what we've covered.
04:34Another one of the myths was domestic violence is not that common.
04:39OK, it is very common.
04:41I'd say significantly, we work with women, but we do work with men as well.
04:47One in four women experience domestic abuse, and that stat has been going for a long time.
04:51It might even have changed.
04:53You might need to check that out.
04:56One in two women are murdered by their partners or ex-partners a week in the UK.
05:01So it is very common.
05:03It's underreported.
05:05Yeah, yeah.
05:08And this one, all couples argue it's not a domestic abuse, it's a normal relationship.
05:13What would you say to that?
05:14Yeah, within all relationships, whether they're romantic, platonic, et cetera, people do have disagreements and do have arguments.
05:22But it's not just about arguments.
05:24It's more than that.
05:25And if that sort of situation is impacting on an individual in an abusive way, that's when the difficulties arise, really.
05:35So, yeah, we acknowledge and understand all couples argue.
05:39It's seen as abuse when that situation escalates to more than just arguing.
05:46Yeah, yeah.
05:47And just one last thing I want to ask, how many, I think you kind of mentioned earlier, talking about how many incidents it takes to call the police?
05:56Yeah, I'd say there's possibly, potentially, I think some research some time ago now said there's domestic abuse has to happen at least 35 times before it's actually reported.
06:09To the police.
06:10And some of that is around what we've said before, that people don't think they're going to be believed.
06:16There's a shame and stigma attached to it.
06:18And, you know, oh, this is the norm, this is what happens in my household, it's acceptable.
06:24And it's only when they come to understand that it's not that, you know, they perhaps feel that they can do something about it, that last straw situation.
06:33Yeah, because I guess if they're in an isolated situation, they're less likely to say to someone, this has happened.
06:41And then the reaction, they'll realise that it's not normal.
06:45Yeah, yeah.
06:52Yeah, if it's part of your everyday sort of situation, you're not going to, well, you may know and understand that it's not right, but it's what you do about it.
07:02And if you felt so your self-esteem, self-confidence is so downtrodden that you've been made to feel, actually, yes, it's about you, it's your fault.
07:12You've done this to me or whatever.
07:15You're not likely to seek support, are you?
07:18You're not likely to seek help because you're unsure whether you're going to be able to get it, I think.
07:23Yeah, domestic violence is underreported because survivors will delay reporting perpetrators to the police for a variety of reasons.
07:31These include guilt, shame, fear and the overall stigma attached to being a survivor of domestic abuse.
07:38The Lancashire Post spoke to a survivor of domestic abuse who wants to remain anonymous.
07:43They said he was let out on bail the same night he was arrested and continued to stalk and harass me even after we moved house.
07:51His first words after finding out our new address due to stalking his own son was, I finally found you.
07:57I've been driving up and down the street, every street looking for you.
08:01The survivor also said he kept telling me how worthless I was and that everyone would be better off without me here.
08:07He made me lose my self-confidence and self-esteem.
08:10He was also trying to turn my friends against me by messaging them on social media and telling them lies.
08:16They said three years later, now me and my kids are thriving, we are happy and we are looking forward to the future.
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