My family

Goplayer

1 year ago

Transcript

00:00My stepbrother is hot. Don't you think? Of course, being hot is the only kind word you'll

00:21hear about him from me. He's totally not my type. The only thing that we have in common

00:27is that we're both 20 years old and that we're both living under the same roof. Watch me

00:33taunt him. What, another weekend on the couch? So what weekends are for? Couches, parties

00:43and pussies. Ugh, can you be any more disgusting? I'm just a guy's guy. Well, I'm not your guy.

00:52Clearly, you're my tightly wound stepsister. And don't you forget it. You know what,

00:57I'm going to the coffee shop. I cannot focus in here. Put the towels in the dryer, okay?

01:03When's the last time you got laid anyway? Joseph, that is none of your business.

01:10Clearly not recently. You're just jealous. Jealous of you? I get laid all the time.

01:17Ugh, yeah, because you're desperate. You just swipe right on everybody.

01:21Some effective strategy. Well, I don't need your strategies.

01:28When's the last time you brought a guy home? Clearly, whatever you're doing isn't working.

01:34Oh, you're just mad because I asked you to clean up all those plates in your room, right?

01:40Well, I don't want mice and worse, I don't want roaches.

01:43What you need is a good dig, then maybe you'd chill. I don't need to chill out. And you know

01:50what? As someone with better things to do with their time, I'm going to cut this conversation

01:54short. Things to do? Like what? Steam iron your shirts? Ugh, so what? Now I'm uptight because I

02:01take pride in my appearance? Uptight is the perfect word for you. It means you're boring,

02:07you need to get the fuck. Sex isn't everything. Why are you so obsessed with your sex life?

02:13I just think a reasonably attractive young person should take advantage.

02:18Reasonably attractive? I guess I should thank you for the compliment. You're welcome.

02:26You know what? Let's see what kind of girl is better than reasonably attractive.

02:32And for the record, I do go on dates. Sometimes. Sure.

02:39Just because I don't bring guys home doesn't mean I don't go on dates.

02:43We have rules, like no eye contact until the third date. Well, I have rules, yes, of course.

02:51Killjoy. It's called having standards. I think you're afraid. Afraid? Afraid of what?

02:59Letting loose? Getting dirty? Actually enjoying yourself? I'm not. You never

03:07cut around the lines. You do what you're supposed to always. Daddy's a little princess.

03:14Are you trying to annoy me because it's working? We like to see you all hot and bothered.

03:19Well, I can guarantee you that I'm nothing like those skinks on your phone. You're right. You're better.

03:26I am? Sure. You're here and they're not. So the only difference is that I'm here. I could be

03:33anybody else. Well, maybe not anybody, but basically. You're a pig.

03:47I'm just lucky. Lucky? You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take.

03:53Are you hitting on me? If I am. You're not. Maybe. I'm your stepsister, dork. And a virgin.

04:01I am not a virgin. Sure, act like it. For your information, I've made many men very happy.

04:10How many? Two. Three. No, four. Right.

04:18Hey, hands off the phone, Annie. Well, I'm picky, okay?

04:21Sounds like those guys didn't make you very happy. They were fantastic lovers.

04:27What are you laughing at? Who says lovers? Maybe our boomer parents.

04:32Well, what do you prefer I say? I don't know. Hookup? Friends with benefits?

04:38Fuck buddies? Well, I'm not vulgar like you.

04:42My apologies, my queen. You know what? I'm not going to continue this conversation.

04:49Fine.

04:54I want to go to bed. It's noon.

04:58And as exciting as this conversation is, I'd rather nap.

05:18Five, four, three.

05:23You can't just blow me off like that. I didn't blow you off. I thought the conversation was over.

05:31You're really rude. You're serious?

05:42I don't know why you aim to hurt my feelings.

05:45I'm sorry. I was bored. I don't know. I shouldn't have taken it out on you.

05:50It's fine. I forgive you.

05:53You do know that you started it, right?

05:57What? I'm serious. You act like I'm some kind of loser or something. So what if I work from home?

06:05You're right. I guess I am kind of a little jealous about that.

06:09But still, you could try to be a little nicer to me.

06:12I shouldn't have called you a virgin.

06:16Thanks. I forgive you.

06:19Thanks?

06:20And you're right.

06:23I am? About what?

06:26It's been a long time.

06:30A long time?

06:32Since I made love.

06:35Since what?

06:37Since I made love, you idiot.

06:43I don't want anyone to hear us.

06:48They're not home.

06:49They might be home any second.

06:51I don't think they'd really care.

06:53Mom has been badgering me for weeks about getting a boyfriend and

06:57all of a sudden it's like she's given up on me.

07:01And then Dad, he sat me down the other week and told me it'd be totally okay if I were a lesbian.

07:08Are you?

07:09No. But sometimes I wish I were.

07:13Really? Why?

07:15I find guys, I mean men, to be complicated.

07:22You really are nuts.

07:23No, I really mean it. I mean, how can guys just sit on the couch all day long

07:27swiping on girls that they don't even know?

07:30It's easy.

07:31No, it's too easy. And I'm not easy. Nothing I do is easy.

07:37You could always learn.

07:39I'm not sure I can.

07:41Sure, look.

07:45See? Easy.

07:46You surprised me.

07:48Yeah, but did it feel wrong?

07:51No, it felt good.

07:54Exactly. Now imagine I'm some other man. Some complicated man.

08:00Mysterious, deep, a man with layers.

08:05Whatever. Just lean in and kiss the other guy.

08:11I can't.

08:13Try.

08:17Just pretend, Annie.

08:35I can't believe I just did that.

08:42I can't believe it either.

08:43It was just a test. It doesn't even mean anything.

08:46I didn't think it did.

08:48So wrong. So horribly wrong in every way.

08:50Oh, yes. So bad. So wrong.

08:54You're making fun of me. You're still making fun of me.

08:58Lovingly.

08:59Really?

09:00It's a defense mechanism.

09:03What are you defending yourself against?

09:08Believe it or not, my feelings.

09:11Yeah, right. I don't believe it.

09:14Put yourself in my position.

09:16A beautiful girl locks herself in your room, kisses you on the mouth,

09:21knowing very well you're horny.

09:23I hate that word.

09:25Horny? Do you have a word you prefer?

09:32See why I have to resort to humor?

09:38I didn't mean to get you all worked up.

09:42It's okay. You should probably go.

09:45I've already said some stupid shit I can't take back.

09:48Oh. Okay.

09:54But I can't just leave you here feeling who knows what kind of way.

09:58I'll be fine.

09:59No. You were just trying to help.

10:02I should apologize. I never apologize.

10:06What can I do?

10:09Maybe another kiss?

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