Flavia Mihasan - 12.06.2024 \ Happy Café

• Flavia Brigitta Mihăşan • Repost
•• 12 iunie, 2024. Happy Café.
8 septembrie, 2024.
Acum 3 luni în urmă.
#FlaviaBrigittaMihasan #FlaviaMihasan #Flavia #dance #sillygirl #ballerina #golddigger

Transcript

00:00Hello, and welcome back to Happy Cafe.

00:13We continue today the new season full of inspirational stories and special guests,

00:18and we bring her with us, Flavia Mihașan.

00:20Ruxandra, please, tell us more.

00:22Dear ones, I really enjoyed discovering Flavia in this motherly posture.

00:27We had some discussions during our free time,

00:30and we thought it was necessary to bring her in front of you,

00:33to get to know her through the fact that she is a mother of two, a mother of boys,

00:38and we asked her a lot of questions,

00:41and we will find out how she manages to maintain such a balance in the family,

00:44how she manages the daily challenges with those two children,

00:47born at a very young age.

00:50Less than two years old, right?

00:52A small difference.

00:54But is it true that she has always dreamed of being a mother of boys?

00:57We give a lot of spoilers.

00:59Let's watch the material and find out all the story from her.

01:08Flavia Mihașan, welcome, and thank you very much,

01:11because I know what it means to introduce an interview

01:14in 11,000 things that you do every day,

01:17so thank you very much for being here with us.

01:19Thank you for the invitation, and I will come whenever you call me,

01:22because I know we have a lot to talk about.

01:24My pleasure, and yes, today I would like to go from mother to mother,

01:28because I started to discover you as a mother,

01:31and I was moved by the discussions we had.

01:35You are a wonderful mother, just as I discovered you,

01:38and I would like to talk a little about what this life of a mother of two means,

01:43of a mother of boys.

01:45First of all, when you became a mother,

01:47how do you feel things have changed for you?

01:51I always feel that words are not enough to describe it.

01:56To be honest, and I don't want to cry,

01:59because in two days Carol will be five years old.

02:02Come on, we're both crying.

02:04Look at my skin.

02:06And this morning I was looking,

02:08after I left you at the different kindergartens,

02:11I was looking at some pictures,

02:13you know how they appear on your phone, random albums,

02:15with pictures of when they were babies,

02:17and I started to cry.

02:19I can't believe five years have passed,

02:21at least three years,

02:23last month,

02:25and I'm still like this.

02:27I mean, I'm not coming back.

02:29I know it seems a lot,

02:31but I'm also in this period,

02:33in which he is celebrating his fifth birthday,

02:35and I'm very emotional.

02:37Full of nostalgia.

02:39I don't think it's a lot.

02:41I think anyone who is a parent,

02:43especially us mothers,

02:45the most sensitive,

02:47the closest to our children,

02:49as a mother of a boy,

02:51how is it to be a mother of a boy?

02:53It's what I wanted.

02:55After I had Carol,

02:57I was very happy that she is a boy,

02:59and when I was pregnant with Tudor,

03:01I hoped he would be a boy,

03:03but I couldn't verbalize it,

03:05because I thought that if he would be a girl,

03:07you know...

03:09Not to have all this on your conscience,

03:11as I said,

03:13I always thought

03:15that their relationship would be closer,

03:17because they would have, I hoped,

03:19the same interests,

03:21they would play with the same toys,

03:23they would go to school together,

03:25to football, to what the boys do.

03:27And after I had Tudor,

03:29I also had a moment,

03:31at a fairly short time,

03:33when I really wanted the third child,

03:35and I thought, now I would really like

03:37to have a girl, you know?

03:39It didn't happen,

03:41because I think it's the perfect formula

03:43for me.

03:45And now I have reached a point

03:47where I get along very well with them,

03:49alone.

03:51The rhythm has entered so well, right?

03:53Yes, I mean, somehow now,

03:55they are not so small anymore,

03:57we understand each other differently,

03:59we communicate differently,

04:01and it's a period, yes,

04:03and very beautiful,

04:05when we all talk to each other,

04:07you know, there is no longer that baby

04:09who just tells me what he wants,

04:11what he wants, what he wants much better, you know?

04:13Less stress.

04:15I have children with a big age difference,

04:17and it seemed to me much easier to manage everything,

04:19when the difference was bigger.

04:21For you, much smaller,

04:23they came one after the other.

04:25How did you feel?

04:27Yes, the difference in age is one year and 11 months.

04:29Wow!

04:31And I said that,

04:33you know, I stopped myself from everything I did.

04:35You are a heroine, yes.

04:37That's how I see you, it's my right.

04:41I wanted this little age difference,

04:43because we are three,

04:45and it is incredible that the difference

04:47between the three of us is still one year and 11 months.

04:49I am the oldest,

04:51I have a sister and I have a brother.

04:53You came just like that?

04:55One year and 11 months, yes.

04:57And when I got pregnant,

04:59it really seemed to me like that,

05:01you know, nothing happens,

05:03and I say, wow, how cool,

05:05we had the same toys,

05:07we wore the same clothes,

05:09my mother never did anything that bothered me,

05:11I admit it then, but now I understand it

05:13as an adult and as a mother,

05:15that there was no difference between the two of us,

05:17I mean, the one who bought me,

05:19being the oldest, had my sister,

05:21and everything I had as clothes, she had too,

05:23and I was, yes, but I am the oldest,

05:25you know, and all the time I reproached her,

05:27somehow, my mother,

05:29and now I do the same thing with my children,

05:31I mean, they both have the same things,

05:33which bothered me before.

05:35Have you ever told your mother,

05:37you talked about this,

05:39you see, we somehow reach the words,

05:41the parents, the deeds,

05:43and I don't know how,

05:45it seems fair to me, you know,

05:47even though I am aware that

05:49the eldest, Carol,

05:51should have a little more authority,

05:53and I try to do this thing,

05:55many times, you know, I mean,

05:57I try to say, Tudor, you should listen to Carol,

05:59because she is older, blah, blah, blah,

06:01well, now she is 11 months old.

06:05But no, as an idea, this role,

06:07among all the roles I had

06:09and I still have in my life,

06:11is by far the most important,

06:13and the one that gives me

06:15the most satisfaction

06:17and the most problems,

06:19or,

06:21problems in the sense of

06:23situations in which I am put face to face

06:25with myself, you know,

06:27because when I look at them,

06:29I am, you know, individually,

06:31every little man, but I am in them,

06:33you know, and everything that

06:35bothers me,

06:37I see in them,

06:39and I see myself in their eyes,

06:41and after that I say,

06:43ok, so it's not just about having

06:45some kids and leaving them,

06:47because, you know, they are not ours,

06:49but it is a job,

06:51if you are aware that

06:53you have to work a lot

06:55in the relationship with your kids,

06:57if you are aware,

06:59and I have moments when I see my mistakes,

07:01my exaggerations,

07:03I see my kids, I do them,

07:05and then I become so aware,

07:07but the important thing is,

07:09as you said, that we realize them

07:11and we try to do as much as we can

07:13and what we can to correct them.

07:15Once, with this role as a mother,

07:17I started to have this feeling of constant guilt.

07:19Of course.

07:21I mean, it is a constant feeling in my life,

07:23I never think that

07:25I do enough,

07:27and that I connect enough with them,

07:29even though I try to do this,

07:31but there are so many things

07:33that happen between them,

07:35and my relationship,

07:37and all this chaos

07:39we live in as a society,

07:41that many times

07:43I feel like I am losing, you know,

07:45and then I find moments

07:47like tonight, before Nani,

07:49when we really connect,

07:51even with the lights off,

07:53we do Nani,

07:55and everyone has things to say

07:57about what happened that day,

07:59I mean, I have a set of questions

08:01that I ask every night,

08:03like, let's talk a little bit,

08:05let's evaluate the day.

08:07To which they are ready to answer.

08:09You know that the most important moment

08:11is the evening moment,

08:13and the morning moment.

08:15It doesn't matter what happens during the day,

08:17when life goes faster,

08:19but those two moments,

08:21you are a specialist,

08:23or you didn't show us the experience.

08:25Yes, I did it intuitively,

08:27because I realized

08:29that then it's quiet,

08:31and one is on the right,

08:33and the other is on the left,

08:35and they don't want to jump over each other,

08:37after what I do to them.

08:39You sit among them.

08:41Yes, I sit among them,

08:43that's how I sleep,

08:45and I ask them,

08:47let's talk about how it was,

08:49and I tell them that I enjoyed playing,

08:51or talking to someone,

08:53or eating,

08:55or whatever.

08:57What didn't you like today?

08:59Because if you didn't like it,

09:01try not to repeat it.

09:03Or try to create a dialogue between them,

09:05and after that...

09:07What am I doing?

09:09Please, let me finish,

09:11it's my turn.

09:13Who said that?

09:15Tudor, this little one,

09:17I see the social media difference

09:19between the first and the second child,

09:21because I don't have three like you,

09:23congratulations,

09:25I swear, it's perfect.

09:27It was easy for me,

09:29but there are still three,

09:31they still need...

09:33Different needs.

09:35Yes, because mom is only one.

09:37You know, you can have all the help in the world,

09:39but mom is only one,

09:41and you don't even have her.

09:43Let's talk about this.

09:45When we started

09:47this journey,

09:49about having children,

09:51we said that no one will intervene,

09:53as much as we can,

09:55and we won't let

09:57neither my parents,

09:59nor his parents intervene.

10:01So, not even the grandparents?

10:03No, not at all.

10:05And when the situation

10:07became difficult with the second child,

10:09I never needed anyone.

10:11I took him with me everywhere,

10:13to the nails, to the hair,

10:15to the rehearsals, to the filming,

10:17everywhere.

10:19And if I couldn't take him,

10:21Marius would.

10:23We were very happy with him.

10:25It was also during the pandemic,

10:27it was easier, somehow...

10:29And you wanted him so much,

10:31you were waiting for him so much.

10:33Yes, so I was...

10:35He was born in Razna,

10:37so I wanted to have a child.

10:39You wanted him so much, I understand.

10:41So I was like,

10:43oh my God, a child!

10:45I felt him, I saw him, I was waiting for him.

10:47You see, how important it is

10:49to come at the right moment.

10:51I always say this, the ideal difference

10:53between three and five years

10:55does not exist.

10:57When you feel it,

10:59you do it on the first one,

11:01and if you feel it and when you feel it,

11:03you do it on the second one.

11:05Yes, and it's clear that they chose us,

11:07they chose me, it's clear,

11:09and it's clear that they chose me,

11:11continuing with adolescence,

11:13then with maturity,

11:15or I would say maturity,

11:17because I don't think I'm there yet,

11:19we're working on it.

11:21But we're growing,

11:23we're growing together,

11:25don't you feel that you've grown

11:27together with your children?

11:29Yes, a lot, a lot,

11:31many times I thought,

11:33stopping from everything I've done in my life,

11:35like a job, you know, like a job,

11:37it's enough to think, if I didn't have them,

11:39I mean, I am grateful to them,

11:41I know it sounds like a cliché,

11:43that everyone says, I am grateful

11:45that they came to me, no, no, no,

11:47so I started to know myself,

11:49through them I couldn't,

11:51I couldn't go back to what I was,

11:53I went back to my childhood,

11:55I reconsidered my whole relationship

11:57with my parents, after that,

11:59of course, I talked to my mother

12:01about this, but there were things

12:03that bothered me when I was a child

12:05and I got hit by this emotion of being a mother

12:07and I thought, well, I could never,

12:09I'm not saying I was complaining,

12:11although in those moments,

12:13especially when you go to sleep,

12:15you don't know what it's like

12:17the next day or the next period,

12:19because you're exhausted.

12:23If I had somehow, I don't know,

12:25a huge financial potential

12:27or if I had a job

12:29that would allow me, I don't know,

12:31anything, I think I would have done

12:33a lot of things.

12:35I already had Tudor for a few months

12:37and I couldn't take it anymore.

12:39And I went to the kindergarten,

12:41when, when...

12:43Now? Now?

12:45I don't know, I say tomorrow,

12:47I'm serious.

12:49So you took him tomorrow,

12:51you sent him?

12:53I took him tomorrow.

13:03How did you learn to cook?

13:09At least four years of my life

13:11were not about me at all.

13:13And I had to learn this, yes?

13:15And I had to, not to learn this,

13:17because I wanted to.

13:19I mean, I couldn't do otherwise.

13:21But there was somehow a small part of me

13:23that said, what am I going to do next?

13:25I mean, who am I without them?

13:27Who am I?

13:29I didn't know what I liked to eat,

13:31I didn't even start eating.

13:33What music do I like?

13:35I mean, there was a general chaos,

13:37but after that, somehow,

13:39the light came on during the years, you know?

13:41And I think it's a huge gain.

13:43And I'm really grateful

13:45that I'm in this role, honestly.

13:47It fills the life, I don't know,

13:49it has more substance,

13:51it has...

13:53It's important, I mean...

13:55And the idea is that

13:57you see them growing up and,

13:59some people grow up,

14:01I mean, there are some people...

14:03In our hands, you realize...

14:05No, it's huge what we have to do.

14:07We have a huge responsibility

14:09to make some big people,

14:11some small people,

14:13who will then be them,

14:15in this big world, free people.

14:17Yes, and that's exactly

14:19what this feeling of guilt is about,

14:21that you want to...

14:23You want to give them, you know,

14:25a lot, so they can be easy,

14:27knowing what life means.

14:29We, as adults, we know

14:31what can happen to us,

14:33and we try to...

14:35I think we have to relax a bit.

14:37Yes, and let them go,

14:39because that's the only way they can learn.

14:41Because we know from our experience,

14:43if they didn't tell us a hundred times,

14:45they could have told us,

14:47until we hit our skin,

14:49we didn't learn the lesson.

14:51And you should know,

14:53I don't know how it was for you,

14:55but the anger and despair

14:57I had with Carol,

14:59can be seen in their behavior.

15:01I mean, Tudor is much more...

15:03And Carol is brave,

15:05but Carol is a bit more...

15:07She stays a bit and analyzes things.

15:09And if I had, I don't know,

15:11a huge financial potential,

15:13or if I had a job that would allow me

15:15to do, I don't know, anything,

15:17I think I would have made a lot of kids.

15:19A lot, but you know that,

15:21beyond money, and your experience,

15:23it's this idea of you being there,

15:25physically, next to them,

15:27and I thought that I could have

15:29all the money in the world,

15:31all the help in the world,

15:33when the little one says,

15:35mom, play with me,

15:37the big one says,

15:39but I want you to go with me to Tunza,

15:41the middle one says,

15:43I want you to take me to the mall,

15:45or I know what he wants,

15:47everyone wants something,

15:49they want it at the same time,

15:51in different conditions.

15:53Yes, but still an emotion,

15:55and their emotional need

15:57must be satisfied by you,

15:59who is only one.

16:01That's why it's very important

16:03how many kids we take beyond all.

16:05And that's right.

16:07But you know, I found it easier

16:09with two emotionally,

16:11than with one.

16:13It seems to me that when I speak

16:15from my point of view,

16:17because I had a period of 1 year and 11 months

16:19and I put on him

16:21all the expectations,

16:23all my fear,

16:25all...

16:27Because this was my child,

16:29my child that had to be

16:31everything that I didn't have,

16:33everything I want for him.

16:35And then, when Tudor came,

16:37it was halved,

16:39I mean, I still put on him,

16:41but he's more relaxed,

16:43I mean, I'm aware of this.

16:45I know I'm a mother,

16:47because you want good things,

16:49and beautiful things,

16:51like any mother wants.

16:53Yes, because they don't exist.

16:55I take them from kindergarten,

16:57and they don't exist.

16:59We go to the park,

17:01I mean, I know them.

17:03We go to the park,

17:05we ride our bikes,

17:07and we stay there,

17:09daily, since they are born.

17:11You know, it happens,

17:13there are rehearsals,

17:15and the roles are equal

17:17for the children,

17:19which may seem normal to us,

17:21that we are part of something like this,

17:23but in reality, nowadays,

17:25these roles are not always

17:27so well balanced in the couple.

17:29And many times, the responsibility

17:31falls on the mother's shoulders,

17:33the society expects the mother

17:35to carry all the burden.

17:37Yes, and all the burden of the family,

17:39plus the job, plus...

17:41I don't know if I should laugh well,

17:43but if you do too much cleaning,

17:45it means you don't have enough children.

17:47So, it's a...

17:49Speaking of looking good,

17:51you said you didn't know

17:53what you liked to eat,

17:55and speaking of you being

17:57and probably will always be

17:59an extraordinarily beautiful woman,

18:01tell us if you ever

18:03cared,

18:05because your perfect figure,

18:07those legs that everyone

18:09talks about,

18:11I was always surprised,

18:13I never liked my legs,

18:15I always thought...

18:17The beauty is in the eye of the beholder,

18:19and the beholders

18:21remain with their eyes there.

18:23Thank you, and you,

18:25now I admire your legs,

18:27you are absolutely gorgeous,

18:29you are a repair.

18:31But did you ever care

18:33that someone would change something?

18:35That was the last thought,

18:37not even once,

18:39you didn't even think

18:41about your breasts, your waist,

18:43these are the main things,

18:45you fought for your children.

18:47Yes, every year.

18:49And you know, I had some discussions

18:51with my babies,

18:53and I decided it would be a year.

18:55That's it, mom, you are very strict.

18:57Yes, and you know,

18:59I hear so many cases

19:01that they can't come off,

19:03but they came off quite easily,

19:05I don't know if...

19:07Yes, it's true,

19:09it's not easy for me.

19:11But I got used to it,

19:13thinking it would be a year,

19:15and that's it.

19:17That's how I settled down,

19:19I don't know why.

19:21Because you were probably

19:23thinking how hard it would be

19:25to breastfeed the first one,

19:27the second one would need

19:29to wake up at night,

19:31because there are mothers

19:33who breastfeed in tandem,

19:35and it's not as difficult.

19:37See?

19:39We mothers see the effort

19:41that other mothers make.

19:43Yes, so I didn't think about it,

19:45especially because I knew

19:47I could do sports fast.

19:49I was careful,

19:51I mean, I was careful.

19:53I didn't have this desire to come off,

19:55it was quite uncomfortable for me,

19:57you know, in both breasts.

19:59I didn't have cramps, I didn't have...

20:01Ah, so you had breasts,

20:03but it's possible,

20:05because you were doing sports,

20:07it helps, a good physical condition,

20:09and nutrition, right?

20:11I can't tell you,

20:13I haven't eaten meat for about 18 years,

20:15I eat fish, and I eat

20:17quite clean,

20:19but yes,

20:21I didn't have...

20:23You didn't have cramps?

20:25You did, because I remember

20:27at the first cramp, sports, exercise,

20:29you were very active, you already had a belly,

20:31you didn't have any problems.

20:33Yes, in 6 months I was with Carol,

20:35and I was on stage.

20:37When did you stop?

20:39At 6 months.

20:41At 6 months I stopped dancing,

20:43because I was getting cramps,

20:45and I was pregnant.

20:47And it was at the first cramp,

20:49and you didn't have any emotions?

20:51My gynecologist was in the room

20:53at one of the shows,

20:55and he sent me on WhatsApp,

20:57stop now, what are you doing?

20:59I know your body,

21:01I know it very well,

21:03I know when I need to sleep,

21:05I don't listen to it,

21:07but I learned to listen to it.

21:09We can't listen to it when we can't sleep,

21:11because sleep is the last thing on the list,

21:13we did everything,

21:15we lived enough,

21:17and when there is time left,

21:19we sleep.

21:21But in raising children,

21:23do you follow parenting books?

21:25Does the instinct matter a lot?

21:27Does the instinct matter

21:29what others tell you,

21:31what your mother tells you,

21:33what you see on the internet?

21:35Do you get inspired by other mothers?

21:37Yes, I get inspired by all kinds of courses,

21:39and parenting podcasts,

21:41but I rely a lot on my intuition and instinct.

21:43And I think this is...

21:45Of course, there are times

21:47when I try to make the best decision,

21:49regarding any kind of situation,

21:51like when I took Carol to kindergarten,

21:53then I took Tudor,

21:55and I couldn't leave him there,

21:57to sleep there or not,

21:59and I didn't inform him.

22:01Carol was 3 years old,

22:03and I already had Tudor for a few months,

22:05and I couldn't take him anymore.

22:07And I called the kindergarten,

22:09and I said,

22:11I'll take him tomorrow.

22:13I took him the next day,

22:15and I saw the kindergarten,

22:17but then we were going on a vacation,

22:19and I waited until we came back,

22:21but I wasn't ready.

22:23That was the moment.

22:25And after that, Tudor...

22:27So, Carol was 3 years old,

22:29and Tudor was 2 and 4 months old.

22:35Dear ones, as the only mother

22:37on this set,

22:39the only mother,

22:41I didn't dream of being a mother of a girl,

22:43or a mother of a boy,

22:45I wanted to be a mother of a healthy child.

22:47I didn't think of anything else.

22:49After a boy came,

22:51I thought,

22:53at least I'll have a daughter.

22:55And that's what happened.

22:57I was very lucky.

22:59You know,

23:01a child is a blessing,

23:03and whatever it was,

23:05I kept it and raised it,

23:07just like you raise the third child.

23:09You can go there, if you want.

23:11Do you want to?

23:13Yes, but I want two.

23:15I want three,

23:17but I'll manage with two.

23:19I want a daughter.

23:21I want to be a father of a girl,

23:23and a father of a boy,

23:25and a father of a healthy boy,

23:27no matter what.

23:29Christ, what do you want ?

23:31I don't know.

23:33I just want it to be.

23:35We'll see.

23:37We'll be waiting for you tomorrow,

23:39here, at Happy Cafe.

23:41Kisses.

23:43Bye-bye.

23:46By building notoriety,

23:48and having to be present

23:50at various events,

23:52I realized that,

23:54in a way,

23:56you have to take into account

23:58the conditions of an event,

24:00the weather outside,

24:02the time of year,

24:04the status of the people around you,

24:06the topic you're discussing,

24:08the background,

24:10there are many things.

24:15Happy Cafe

Flavia Mihasan - 12.06.2024 \ Happy Café

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