00:00This weird obsession with crowd sizes.
00:05Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the headlines and stories
00:09covering the 2024 US election that we promise we didn't make up, but we kind of wish that we did.
00:16It's like he saw a story by the side of the road and said,
00:19I can make a meal out of this.
00:23Number 10. Literally anybody else.
00:26Are you disappointed? Frustrated? Perhaps downright displeased with the current
00:30gamut of candidates across the political spectrum? Don't lose hope, America. A third
00:35party write-in candidate is here to save the day, as they are famously known to do.
00:39Well, I believe I'll vote for a third party candidate.
00:42Go ahead. Throw your vote away.
00:47A disgruntled man from Texas has legally changed his name to
00:50literally anybody else and has his eyes on the presidency.
00:54I went to the polls dissatisfied, you know, and I thought to myself,
00:58it would be so much better if we had a way to kind of reset the election,
01:02you know, to have a neither option, you know, or just to say literally anybody else.
01:06To some, this may seem to be a desperate whack at 15 minutes of fame and a couple
01:11hundred bucks in merchandise sales. But to Mr. Else, this is so much more than that.
01:16This is about democracy and change and probably merchandise sales.
01:21And folks, is anything more inherently American than that?
01:25Good for him. Get your bag. Literally.
01:28This was all about getting attention, forwarding the idea,
01:32and resonating with people who shared that sentiment.
01:35Number nine, Trump's return to X.
01:38Say what you will about the man, but Donald Trump has one of the greatest
01:41back catalogs of insane tweets of all time. A moment to reflect on some of these historic posts.
01:48We all remember that fateful day, January 9th, 2021,
01:52when the former president was effectively banned from Twitter.
01:55Twitter, run by CEO Jack Dorsey, saying after close review of the president's recent tweets,
02:01it banned him due to the risk of further incitement of violence.
02:05Which, if you ask Trump, was the greatest threat to justice to take place that week.
02:09Fast forward to 2022, and Elon Musk,
02:13formerly Twitter, currently X's new owner, but not real dad,
02:16reverses the ban and welcomes Trump back to the platform.
02:20Elon Musk has reinstated former president Donald Trump to Twitter
02:24after running a 24-hour online poll asking Musk's followers
02:28if he should reactivate Trump's account.
02:31Since then, Trump has prioritized his own social media outlet, Truth Social.
02:36But in August 2024, Trump sat for an odd interview with Musk on X
02:40and concurrently made some posts on the platform.
02:43Their crime rate's coming down and our crime rate's going through the roof,
02:47and it's so simple.
02:48This tanked Trump media stock by almost half,
02:51as his supposed return to X spells trouble for the future of Truth Social.
02:56As the company's key shareholder,
02:58this translated to billions of dollars in losses for Trump personally.
03:03An interesting business strategy, to say the least.
03:05It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him.
03:09Number eight, Make America Florida.
03:11Listen, we know that Ron DeSantis will not be elected
03:14the president of the United States in 2024.
03:17He's out of the race.
03:18Florida governor Ron DeSantis has just announced
03:20that he is no longer running for president.
03:23We already know this, but for a brief moment in time,
03:26the governor of Florida was pleading his case to the nation
03:29with a bewildering campaign slogan, Make America Florida.
03:33We here at WatchMojo are not here to make broad generalizations
03:37about the desires of the American people.
03:39That's above our pay grade.
03:41You can't pay me enough, Max.
03:43But we will go out on a limb and say this.
03:46One Florida is more than enough.
03:49Maybe Making America Florida would be a good plot for a sci-fi original film.
03:54In a world where America is Florida,
03:56one man fights off a tropical storm of alligators with a chainsaw,
04:00an iguana, and a heart of gold.
04:03Hey, that could be something. Write that down.
04:06Apocalypse, my ass.
04:07This isn't the end of the world.
04:09Gods, they're not angry with us.
04:11The aliens aren't coming down.
04:13It's the government.
04:15Yeah.
04:16With a big capital G.
04:21The 2024 U.S. presidential election has finally answered the question
04:25we've all had on our minds for the last 200 plus years as a country.
04:29What do the cat people want?
04:30Besides cats.
04:31Jeffrey here is an Abyssinian.
04:33As in Abyssinian him in hell for destroying my couch.
04:40They have spoken.
04:42They will be meowing out the vote for Kamala Harris.
04:45This outcry of support from the feline population
04:47is in direct response to a comment made by Trump's running mate, J.D. Vance,
04:51who claimed that the Democratic Party was run by, quote, childless cat ladies.
04:56Hey, J.D. Vance, the child having dog person store called,
05:00and they're running out of you.
05:01What's the difference?
05:02You're their all time bestseller.
05:13Yeah.
05:14Well, I had sex with your wife.
05:18You know, they should really hire me as Kamala Harris, a speechwriter.
05:22That would have killed.
05:23Now, in all seriousness, please rise for the catchinal anthem.
05:33Oh, number six.
05:36Trump smells.
05:37Pass it on.
05:38What do you think of when you picture a president,
05:41someone smart, someone resilient, someone with a clear vision for the future?
05:45Perhaps.
05:46But now I'd like you to imagine this.
05:48What if the president of the United States was stinky?
05:52Stinky.
05:53Now open your eyes.
05:55I pictured your eyes being closed before you were imagining the president.
05:58It's January 2017.
06:00Donald J. Trump is inaugurated into the highest office.
06:04And guess what?
06:05He's stinky.
06:06I know.
06:06I didn't take this news lately either.
06:08Former Representative Adam Kinzinger took to Axe to claim that the former president's odor
06:13was so pungent that he recommended wearing a mask in his presence.
06:17Trump fired back via spokesperson,
06:19claiming that Mr. Kinzinger, quote,
06:21farted on live TV and is an unemployed fraud.
06:24I'm sorry.
06:26I cannot think any good idea because this guy keeps farting.
06:30We here at WatchMojo cannot confirm or deny the stinky allegations.
06:34We're just here to rank the facts.
06:40Number 5.
06:41Biden's dead.
06:42Pass it on.
06:43What do you think of when you picture a president,
06:45someone smart, someone resilient, someone with a clear vision for the future?
06:50Perhaps.
06:50But now I'd like you to imagine this.
06:53What if the president of the United States was dead?
07:00Now open your eyes.
07:02You're Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert.
07:04And guess what?
07:05Your president, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., is holding office as a dead man.
07:10I think we have to acknowledge the possibility that the president may be dead.
07:17Biden announced having caught COVID a few days before he dropped out of the presidential race.
07:21It's been the honor of my life to serve as your president.
07:24Which kept him physically out of the public eye for about a week.
07:28But for Boebert, this wasn't the full story.
07:30And she repeatedly demanded proof of life from the president over X.
07:34While we here at WatchMojo can confirm that Joe Biden is alive as of August 2024,
07:40we are currently imagining him in a Weekend at Bernie's type situation.
07:44We have no comment on whether or not that's funny.
07:47Why do these things always happen to me?
07:50Number 4.
07:51The gay furry hackers disband.
07:53Well-behaved furries rarely make history.
07:56And make history, these furries did.
07:58If you ever wanted a headline that reminds you of the fact
08:00you're living in the clown world of 2024, well, here it is.
08:04Also known as SiegedSec,
08:07this group of hacktivists have had some high-profile targets over the years.
08:10To name a few, the Nebraska Supreme Court, NATO, and most recently, the Heritage Foundation,
08:17which is the organization behind the controversial Project 2025.
08:21Veo responds by stating they oppose Project 2025
08:25and everything the Heritage Foundation stands for.
08:28That's why you hacked us, just for that, responds Mike.
08:31Veo confirms and points out their hacktivist history.
08:35But alas, nothing fur can stay.
08:38And the group has announced their retirement from cybercrime
08:40to focus on their mental health and to steer clear of the FBI.
08:44But who knows what the future holds for the self-proclaimed gay furry hackers.
08:48If the Oceans franchise taught us anything,
08:51it's that a good crew can't stay apart for very long.
08:54So next time you see a furry leaving a casino,
08:57you may want to alert the authorities.
09:05Number three, the debate of a lifetime.
09:08Anyone who watched the 2024 presidential debate between Biden and Trump
09:12should receive a stimulus check from the United States government
09:15as a pain and suffering settlement.
09:19Please don't make me relive this.
09:21Okay, fine. Let's relive it together.
09:43What is there to say that has yet to be said about this debate?
09:46It was bad. It was really, really bad.
09:49Let us know in the comments if you would like for us to publish
09:52top 10 things I would rather do than re-watch the Biden-Trump debate.
09:56Here's a preview.
10:11Never mind, you get it.
10:17What do you think of when you picture a vice president?
10:20Someone smart, someone resilient, someone with a clear vision for the future?
10:25Perhaps, but now I'd like for you to imagine this.
10:28What if the vice president of the United States had a thing for furniture?
10:32Now open your eyes.
10:34Is this joke old yet? I didn't think so.
10:36As Trump's running mate, J.D. Vance has been doing an excellent job so far
10:40of being the center of many, many odd headlines.
10:44He has this idea that you should get extra votes if you have kids.
10:49Extra votes?
10:50Yeah, he suggested that you should have extra votes if you're a parent.
10:54Really?
10:54I think there's lots of things-
10:56You don't even get that in your own house.
11:00Most notably, a rumor had spread on X that Vance had sexual relations with a couch.
11:05While this is presumably untrue, it's proven difficult for the senator to shake the gossip.
11:11Harris' running mate, Tim Walz, has even poked fun at Vance,
11:14telling him to, quote, get off the couch and debate him.
11:18Ouch.
11:18I wonder how many writers it took to come up with that one.
11:21That is if he's willing to get off the couch and show up.
11:28You see what I did there?
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11:49Don't worry, Robert Kennedy Jr., we didn't forget about you.
11:52It's not like we have a brain worm or anything.
11:55Come on, look at this guy.
11:57What worm wouldn't love this?
11:59He looks like a pack of chicken thighs left out in the sun.
12:02RFK Jr. is arguably one of the most, um, interesting presidential candidates in recent history.
12:09And that's saying a lot.
12:11But if he's good at anything, it's getting ahead of the news.
12:15Wondering why Mr. Kennedy may be a tad forgetful?
12:18A parasitic worm ate a portion of his brain and then died, of course.
12:25Remember when a deceased bear seemingly appeared out of thin air in Central Park in 2014?
12:30Well, that was just little old Robert F. doing one of his classic bear jokes, naturally.
12:50We would like to thank you, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.,
12:52for keeping us on our toes this election season.
12:55We know so, so much more than we need to know about you.
12:59God bless America.
13:01What would you rather do than re-watch the Biden-Trump debate?
13:04Let us know in the comments.
13:11Did you enjoy this video?
13:12Check out these other clips from WatchMojo,
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13:29Thanks for watching.
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