00:00Now to review the 2024 film, Absolute Garbage! I mean, Amityville Bigfoot! Yes! They'll put Amityville in front of anything now, won't they?
00:18Alrighty, ladies and gentlemen, I am Richard, this is Random Street Theater, and I know a guy, we're not friends, we used to be friends, we're not friends, but I know a man who paid good money, American money, not great money, I mean, I think it was in the triple digits, not the quadruple digits, but in the triple digits, to be in a movie where him and his two daughters get urinated on by Bigfoot.
00:47Paid to be in this movie. Paid to be in this movie.
00:56This is a Lauren Francesca Sean C. Phillips film, and you know, I mean, I've reviewed Amityville Karen, which was utter garbage, not as enjoyable as this one, really, but that film is not what I'm talking about, so I should get on.
01:13But before I go any further, I should of course remind you that for every thousand subscribers I get, I do purchase one of these bracelets from 4ocean. 4ocean pulls a pound of trash out of the ocean every time I do that.
01:22So, Amityville Bigfoot is the story of a Bigfoot who's being experimented on and breaks loose and then goes on a rampage.
01:36It's not really done from the Bigfoot's perspective, but Bigfoot goes on a rampage, and there are people in the woods there, and I think it's somewhere in Orange County, I mean, I noticed the invasive bamboo, so I know it's in California, and I know that these actors live in California, so it was most likely done here.
01:59But I mean, it looks like it was done in Orange County, you know, if you take a trip down harbor, like, you know, right along harbor there are these hiking trails, that's where I think this was filmed.
02:13And, you know, there's also a group of campers who are the dude and his children who get beat on by Bigfoot, and there's a group of bird watchers, and there's a group of people making a movie, ironically, about a Bigfoot rampaging, so yes, kudos to that.
02:35This is a very strange film. Now, I have to issue a general spoiler warning, but I have to tell a lot of people this, because this is something that will put some people off for the film.
02:47There is a general lack of female nudity, but there is man-ass, and associated with the man-ass, Bigfoot kills a dog.
02:57It's meant to be funny. I don't find that funny. I mean, I don't laugh at anything. I've seen the ugliness of the world, and animal abuse does not make me laugh.
03:10I mean, I guess it can make me laugh, but this particular animal abuse I felt was very poorly done, and not a good addition to the story.
03:19It was, like most of this plot, stuck in there to be stuck in there, and this is not to say that there were not funny scenes. There were scenes that I would have said, you know, okay, this is crass, if funny, but it's like, you know, why did Bigfoot grab that dude's ass?
03:39Why did Bigfoot have sex with that other dude? Well, it's probably because whoever saw this movie saw another Bigfoot movie that I've reviewed and forgotten the name of, and it was a porn Bigfoot movie, so Bigfoot did porny things in that movie.
03:54I kept thinking, if I were in this movie, Bigfoot would have come up and been like, yeah, I'm gonna rip you apart, and I would have unzipped my pants and showed him my junk, and he would have been like, wow, okay, I'm gonna run away now, and that would have been more funny than this movie.
04:07So, yeah, I mean, on the one hand, I was never bored while watching this movie, because the things that are happening are so nonsensical that you just have to see what happens next.
04:20It's like watching a disaster unfold. It's like, you know, watching a house burn down. You can't look away, even though you feel a little guilty for looking at it. But this is probably one of the better of the Sean C. Phillips films out there, because it's not boring, it's easy to get through, it's very watchable, even if it's dumb as a stump and, you know, silly.
04:45But, hey, there's a room for silly. If you're a big fan of trauma films, you would probably be okay with this. I wouldn't say you'd like it, but you'd be okay with it. I mean, I would place this very much as a fans of the genre only, and by genre I mean fans of, you know, a bunch of people getting together and saying, let's film ourselves for a couple of days and cobble together a movie out of it, okay?
05:12However, IMDb gives this a 4.2 out of 10, which is really respectable for a film of this budget. It really is. I will have to point out that it does not have a Fandango score, and it does not have a Rotten Tomatoes score, so it's a very, very obscure film.
05:32But, it doesn't make it bad. IMDb, to me, I would never recommend it to anyone else, but I do have to admit I wasn't entertained. Anyway, that's just my opinion. I'd love to hear yours down in the comments below. I'm Richard.
05:48Greetings, humans! Your old pal Randall here again, reminding you to comment, like, and subscribe. You see, I got my bracelets from Ferocian, and I got another! Another medal from the Conqueror! Yeah, yeah, look at that! See? See? That's got an Easter Island head on it!
06:06Because, if you can't afford to go to Easter Island, you can go and walk Easter Island virtually by going to the Conqueror. You could not screw up the environment by traveling to Easter Island. You could just get this, plant five trees, and then walk on your own and learn about Easter Island, because they send you postcards.
06:29And if you comment, like, and subscribe, you can help the guy that owns this channel buy things like this so he can plant trees, and buy bracelets like this from Ferocian so he can pull trash out of the ocean and make a better world for you! And it isn't gonna cost you anything!
06:47So, so don't you have something to say? I mean, shouldn't you in the comments down below say how grateful you are that this man has planted so many trees, and pulled so much trash out of the ocean, and there are all those good things for you? No? Ungrateful human! I SHOULD EAT YOUR FACE!
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