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Vice, ipinaliwanag ang 'Anxious attachment style' | Expecially For You
ABS-CBN Entertainment
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7/4/2024
Vice, ipinaliwanag ang 'Anxious attachment style.'
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Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
There are a lot of things like that.
00:02
Sometimes,
00:04
that's why it's so difficult.
00:06
He said that the answer for him
00:08
is his answer.
00:10
He just thought,
00:12
okay, I'll just give you the answer you want.
00:14
Not the real answer.
00:16
Because,
00:18
don't you trust what I'm saying?
00:20
Do you want me to say it over and over again?
00:22
Something like that.
00:24
You know, there's something called
00:26
it has something to do with
00:28
the abandonment issue.
00:30
There are people
00:32
who have abandonment issues.
00:34
Then, there's something called
00:36
the attachment style.
00:38
For you,
00:40
that's the anxious
00:44
anxious attachment style.
00:48
You keep asking
00:50
for validation
00:52
and reassurance.
00:54
Even if he told you
00:56
that he loves you,
00:58
you'll still ask,
01:00
do you still love me?
01:02
Then, he'll say it over and over again.
01:04
That's the anxious attachment style.
01:08
Then,
01:10
you'll be separated
01:12
but that's not what you really want.
01:14
You'll be separated to prove
01:16
that he won't separate you.
01:18
That he really loves you.
01:20
Do you do that?
01:22
Yes.
01:24
It's not to separate you.
01:26
It's to chase you because it will make you feel good
01:28
if he chases you.
01:30
You'll get angry
01:32
even if you're not angry
01:34
because you'll be reassured
01:36
that he loves you
01:38
if he's the one who pushed you.
01:40
Because you're too anxious.
01:42
Anxious attachment.
01:44
And the other one,
01:46
when it comes to him,
01:48
do you suspect that I'm doing something
01:50
that's why you're asking if I love you?
01:52
Why are you like that?
01:54
Because people aren't always like that.
01:56
There's a tendency
01:58
that they have a red flag here.
02:00
They have an abandonment issue.
02:04
Why is their attachment style like that?
02:06
Because there's also
02:08
a dismissive-avoidant
02:10
attachment style.
02:12
The dismissive-avoidant.
02:14
The dismissive-avoidant
02:16
is when people like you
02:18
but when they like you,
02:20
it's like a barrier.
02:22
I don't want to fall for him.
02:24
You don't want to give everything.
02:26
Yes.
02:28
We love each other,
02:30
but let's stop here.
02:32
He doesn't want to fall.
02:34
He has a fear
02:36
of why he doesn't want to.
02:38
He doesn't want to because he's afraid.
02:40
Maybe because when he agreed,
02:42
when he gave his heart,
02:44
he was betrayed.
02:46
He was fooled.
02:48
It's like he's protecting himself
02:50
because maybe his feelings
02:52
were betrayed.
02:54
Why are you like that?
02:56
Why do you want to reassure
02:58
and validate that he loves you
03:00
and that it's still you?
03:02
At first,
03:04
I broke up with him.
03:06
Then he chased me away
03:08
and said,
03:10
let's go out and eat.
03:12
Our relationship worked out.
03:14
Then the last time,
03:16
I felt like
03:18
it was over.
03:20
I felt like our connection
03:22
was just a motor.
03:24
Then I told him,
03:26
let's stop.
03:28
Let's do something
03:30
that won't work anymore.
03:32
Then,
03:34
he didn't chase me away.
03:36
He really didn't want to.
03:38
He was just waiting
03:40
for me to break up.
03:42
How did that happen?
03:44
Did he lose his time
03:46
because he was busy?
03:48
Or did you see something?
03:50
I didn't feel anything.
03:52
I just felt that
03:54
he doesn't love me anymore.
03:56
No, because he lost his time
03:58
because he works at night.
04:00
His trips are just
04:02
motor trips.
04:04
He doesn't work anymore.
04:06
The equivalent to him
04:08
is that he doesn't love me anymore.
04:10
Is that right?
04:12
Sometimes,
04:14
when we go out,
04:16
he doesn't want to be with me.
04:18
Because?
04:20
He might be tired from work.
04:22
Because he's tired.
04:30
It's painful to say.
04:32
But in a relationship,
04:34
you need to understand.
04:36
Especially if you're
04:38
husband and wife,
04:40
you need to understand each other.
04:42
Imagine the truck drivers
04:44
who drive so far
04:46
from Manila to Bicol.
04:48
They can't make it home.
04:52
What if you always
04:54
miss your husband?
04:56
It's hard to balance that.
04:58
That's why
05:00
you need to balance
05:02
your understanding.
05:04
As a husband,
05:06
we always fight.
05:08
We always say painful words.
05:10
Because?
05:12
We always fight.
05:14
What do you fight about?
05:16
About time.
05:20
About time.
05:22
You can't accept that
05:24
he needs to work
05:26
and that time
05:28
will be taken away from you.
05:30
I can accept that.
05:32
He works.
05:34
But I feel like
05:36
I don't feel love for him anymore.
05:38
I feel like
05:40
I don't have him anymore.
05:42
Because you need to make up for it.
05:44
I can understand that
05:46
your time will be taken away.
05:48
But let's make sure
05:50
that even if the time is taken away,
05:52
we still have time to spend together.
05:54
At least quality time.
05:56
Even if the quantity is taken away.
05:58
The quality.
06:00
If it's your day off,
06:02
you can make up for it.
06:04
Don't you make up for it?
06:06
Yes, but I still go to school.
06:10
I go to school in the morning.
06:12
And when it's afternoon,
06:14
I go straight to work.
06:16
Oh, you study at the same time.
06:18
Yes.
06:20
Yes.
06:22
Well, your boyfriend
06:24
prioritizes a lot of things.
06:26
Which is not bad.
06:28
It's good to see
06:30
that your boyfriend continues to study.
06:32
He studies even if it's hard.
06:34
And then he goes to work.
06:36
But that's it.
06:38
He has little time for you.
07:02
you
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