00:00Hey, it's Seth. What you're about to hear is a selection from Secret Base's Patreon-exclusive
00:05podcast, The Annex. This second episode of the podcast is titled Wet, and this segment comes
00:11from our piece about athletes having to pee while in the middle of a game. Enjoy and subscribe on
00:16Patreon if you want to hear the rest. Well, all right, so you're kind of alluding to my thing,
00:23which is almost the opposite situation. I think like the other end of the spectrum, if golf is
00:29the sport that takes place over multiple acres where there are trees and nooks and crannies
00:37and places to hide, and you could conceivably just put an entire bathroom or a building in
00:41the middle of the course, basketball of the major sports that we watch on TV is probably the
00:46opposite. It has the smallest playing surface. It is solid wood. Fans are on top of you. The fans are
00:55right there. Everyone can see you. You are relatively, and I mean this sincerely, like
01:02relatively naked compared to other sports. You have very little privacy. Right. And everyone
01:07can see your whole deal. And in 2007, Bill Walker, who went on to be one of my favorite Knicks ever,
01:15he goes, sorry, he goes by Henry Walker now. He went by Bill Walker at the time he played basketball,
01:20was at Kansas State and at the end of an extremely close game, I believe it was
01:27tied in regulation. He was playing for Kansas State, not he was visiting a college with
01:34theoretically underage people where he then has a piss story. Yes, correct. This is not an
01:39incriminating. Well, it's not not an incriminating story. Bill Walker was a, was a Kansas State
01:44Wildcat in the final seconds of a tied game. The refs were reviewing something over at the
01:53board. So there was a brief stoppage in play and Bill Walker announced such that according to forum
01:59posts, basically everyone in the building could hear him. Like everyone nearby could hear him was
02:03just like, I have to piss. And they were like, Bill, you need to get in the game. We're starting
02:08back up. And he was like, I have to pee. And the way he solved this as was captured, I think,
02:13not by TV cameras, but there are videos of it taken by fans is he like sort of slowly and
02:20methodically to the point that everyone could see what he was doing, took a bunch of towels,
02:26like sweat towels, that, you know, Gatorade branded towels, like six or seven towels,
02:31shoved them into his shorts and peed. And, um, that doesn't, that doesn't work.
02:38Like there is not an amount of Ryan, you look like you want to say something like a towel diaper,
02:44like a towel diaper, but like exactly like a towel diaper, except towels are not made to do that.
02:51There is not an amount of towels you can fit into a pair of shorts that will do what a diaper is
02:57meant to do. So what happened is Bill Walker pissed all over the floor in his shorts. Like
03:03the towels did not contain what he was doing and he pissed all over the floor. And then a like
03:08assistant of some sort, a coach or a trainer or something, or, you know, an equipment manager,
03:14who's probably a college student, since this is Kansas state had to pick up all these pistols
03:18because Bill then had to hustle under the floor and go play in the game,
03:22which Kansas state ended up losing in overtime. And that's Bill Walker's piss story.
03:30It's, it's a story that has so many aspects to it that it's like, cool. Yep. Should we just move on?
03:39Like the, the, the assembling of towels, the placing them into your shorts.
03:47It's not like that's a quick or, uh, it's not a process. You could be sly.
03:54No. Yeah. It's extremely obvious. He wasn't trying to be discreet.
03:57I don't think he had any prayer of being discreet. So like, yeah, he wasn't trying.
04:00Everyone was looking at him because the game, unlike golf again, like a lot of things can be
04:06happening simultaneously in golf. People are in different holes. The spectators are divided up.
04:11The cameras are divided up. In this case, the game was waiting to start until he stepped foot
04:17onto the floor. And, you know, had he gone to the bathroom, obviously there would have been
04:22some sort of penalty or he wouldn't have been able to play or whatever. So he had to just figure out
04:25the situation immediately. And everyone was looking at him and he shoved a bunch of towels
04:31in his shorts and let loose. I feel weird giving him any sort of credit, but he did remedy the
04:38biggest issue of, he basically said, I don't care if people know I'm peeing my pants. I just,
04:44I want to make sure they don't see the act of peeing or piss.
04:49They saw piss. The piss made it to the floor. That's the thing.
04:53He did not expose himself to a crowd of college students.
04:57Yeah. I think like, I'd hate to give him credit too, but like he did what he had to do.
05:02Right. Yeah.
05:02I will say real winner. Both of those appraisals check out with, he was interviewed on a Kansas
05:09state podcast within the last couple of years. He's now, you know, his NBA career is over. He's
05:13retired. And he is basically, he's just very, he sort of shrugs about that. They asked him about
05:19this sort of tentatively. And his response is just like, yeah, I don't know. I had to go. Like,
05:24I think I dealt with it pretty well. Like he's not, he's not trying to pretend like it didn't
05:30happen the way people say it did, or he's not ashamed about it. He's like, I don't know what
05:33you want me to do. I mean, it's cliche at this point when people are like athletes,
05:37they're just like us, but they, they are, he needed to pee. And, and so he peed.
05:43I think that, and they are just like, like on one hand, I've never had to pee like on TV and,
05:51you know, 20,000 people were waiting for me to figure out my pee situation. But like
05:56the closest corollary I can come up with is like, you're in a car, you know, where it's like,
06:00I have to go. I have been holding this in for a long time and I don't have a choice. This has to
06:06happen. Right. I mean, I, I think, so this isn't the story I want to talk about, but like the human
06:12body sucks because one of the stories I came across was Wayne Gretzky in a game that went at least one
06:20overtime, if not multiple, he, he pissed himself on the bench because his body had hit a point
06:27where he couldn't hold it in. It was like, he was so exhausted, so exhausted. He, it just fucking
06:34went, which like is a different side of all of this when you have to go, but you can't hold it
06:41anymore. It happens.
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