Want the full thing? Check out https://www.patreon.com/secretbase
When we watch sports, whether in person or at home, we have luxuries not afforded to the athletes playing. Sometimes it's comfort, sometimes it's food available, but always it's the ability to pee the moment we need to. This raises the question: what happens when an athlete really has to go?
Well, we're here to discuss.
When we watch sports, whether in person or at home, we have luxuries not afforded to the athletes playing. Sometimes it's comfort, sometimes it's food available, but always it's the ability to pee the moment we need to. This raises the question: what happens when an athlete really has to go?
Well, we're here to discuss.
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00Hey, it's Seth. What you're about to hear is a selection from Secret Base's Patreon-exclusive
00:05podcast, The Annex. This second episode of the podcast is titled Wet, and this segment comes
00:11from our piece about athletes having to pee while in the middle of a game. Enjoy and subscribe on
00:16Patreon if you want to hear the rest. Well, all right, so you're kind of alluding to my thing,
00:23which is almost the opposite situation. I think like the other end of the spectrum, if golf is
00:29the sport that takes place over multiple acres where there are trees and nooks and crannies
00:37and places to hide, and you could conceivably just put an entire bathroom or a building in
00:41the middle of the course, basketball of the major sports that we watch on TV is probably the
00:46opposite. It has the smallest playing surface. It is solid wood. Fans are on top of you. The fans are
00:55right there. Everyone can see you. You are relatively, and I mean this sincerely, like
01:02relatively naked compared to other sports. You have very little privacy. Right. And everyone
01:07can see your whole deal. And in 2007, Bill Walker, who went on to be one of my favorite Knicks ever,
01:15he goes, sorry, he goes by Henry Walker now. He went by Bill Walker at the time he played basketball,
01:20was at Kansas State and at the end of an extremely close game, I believe it was
01:27tied in regulation. He was playing for Kansas State, not he was visiting a college with
01:34theoretically underage people where he then has a piss story. Yes, correct. This is not an
01:39incriminating. Well, it's not not an incriminating story. Bill Walker was a, was a Kansas State
01:44Wildcat in the final seconds of a tied game. The refs were reviewing something over at the
01:53board. So there was a brief stoppage in play and Bill Walker announced such that according to forum
01:59posts, basically everyone in the building could hear him. Like everyone nearby could hear him was
02:03just like, I have to piss. And they were like, Bill, you need to get in the game. We're starting
02:08back up. And he was like, I have to pee. And the way he solved this as was captured, I think,
02:13not by TV cameras, but there are videos of it taken by fans is he like sort of slowly and
02:20methodically to the point that everyone could see what he was doing, took a bunch of towels,
02:26like sweat towels, that, you know, Gatorade branded towels, like six or seven towels,
02:31shoved them into his shorts and peed. And, um, that doesn't, that doesn't work.
02:38Like there is not an amount of Ryan, you look like you want to say something like a towel diaper,
02:44like a towel diaper, but like exactly like a towel diaper, except towels are not made to do that.
02:51There is not an amount of towels you can fit into a pair of shorts that will do what a diaper is
02:57meant to do. So what happened is Bill Walker pissed all over the floor in his shorts. Like
03:03the towels did not contain what he was doing and he pissed all over the floor. And then a like
03:08assistant of some sort, a coach or a trainer or something, or, you know, an equipment manager,
03:14who's probably a college student, since this is Kansas state had to pick up all these pistols
03:18because Bill then had to hustle under the floor and go play in the game,
03:22which Kansas state ended up losing in overtime. And that's Bill Walker's piss story.
03:30It's, it's a story that has so many aspects to it that it's like, cool. Yep. Should we just move on?
03:39Like the, the, the assembling of towels, the placing them into your shorts.
03:47It's not like that's a quick or, uh, it's not a process. You could be sly.
03:54No. Yeah. It's extremely obvious. He wasn't trying to be discreet.
03:57I don't think he had any prayer of being discreet. So like, yeah, he wasn't trying.
04:00Everyone was looking at him because the game, unlike golf again, like a lot of things can be
04:06happening simultaneously in golf. People are in different holes. The spectators are divided up.
04:11The cameras are divided up. In this case, the game was waiting to start until he stepped foot
04:17onto the floor. And, you know, had he gone to the bathroom, obviously there would have been
04:22some sort of penalty or he wouldn't have been able to play or whatever. So he had to just figure out
04:25the situation immediately. And everyone was looking at him and he shoved a bunch of towels
04:31in his shorts and let loose. I feel weird giving him any sort of credit, but he did remedy the
04:38biggest issue of, he basically said, I don't care if people know I'm peeing my pants. I just,
04:44I want to make sure they don't see the act of peeing or piss.
04:49They saw piss. The piss made it to the floor. That's the thing.
04:53He did not expose himself to a crowd of college students.
04:57Yeah. I think like, I'd hate to give him credit too, but like he did what he had to do.
05:02Right. Yeah.
05:02I will say real winner. Both of those appraisals check out with, he was interviewed on a Kansas
05:09state podcast within the last couple of years. He's now, you know, his NBA career is over. He's
05:13retired. And he is basically, he's just very, he sort of shrugs about that. They asked him about
05:19this sort of tentatively. And his response is just like, yeah, I don't know. I had to go. Like,
05:24I think I dealt with it pretty well. Like he's not, he's not trying to pretend like it didn't
05:30happen the way people say it did, or he's not ashamed about it. He's like, I don't know what
05:33you want me to do. I mean, it's cliche at this point when people are like athletes,
05:37they're just like us, but they, they are, he needed to pee. And, and so he peed.
05:43I think that, and they are just like, like on one hand, I've never had to pee like on TV and,
05:51you know, 20,000 people were waiting for me to figure out my pee situation. But like
05:56the closest corollary I can come up with is like, you're in a car, you know, where it's like,
06:00I have to go. I have been holding this in for a long time and I don't have a choice. This has to
06:06happen. Right. I mean, I, I think, so this isn't the story I want to talk about, but like the human
06:12body sucks because one of the stories I came across was Wayne Gretzky in a game that went at least one
06:20overtime, if not multiple, he, he pissed himself on the bench because his body had hit a point
06:27where he couldn't hold it in. It was like, he was so exhausted, so exhausted. He, it just fucking
06:34went, which like is a different side of all of this when you have to go, but you can't hold it
06:41anymore. It happens.