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  • 2 years ago
Credit: SWNS / Benjamin Woodbury

A gay man who lost contact with his family after escaping a secretive religious community says he would have died if he stayed.

Ben Woodbury 31, was born into the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church but left at the age of 24 after being outed as homosexual when he was 18.

Ben has called his upbringing one in a "doomsday cult" where he says he was banned from watching TV, listening to music and socialising with non-members.
Transcript
00:00 Hey there, I have a lot of people ask me in relation to my relationship with my mother,
00:05 I escaped a very strict religious cult that bans family members from speaking to people,
00:12 family members that leave once they've been excommunicated. Mother's Day is particularly
00:16 hard for me because I miss my mother incredibly, but I always let her know that I still love her
00:20 and I'm still here and I'm still the same person. I just am not controlled by the same religion that
00:26 she's controlled by. Follow my journey as I share with you how strict and insidious this cult is
00:31 here in Australia. It's worldwide but majority is here in Australia. Yes, Sydney. Crazy. That's where
00:37 the leader is too, by the way, just a fun fact. So I sent my mum a message as I do every Mother's Day
00:42 saying, "I just want you to know how much I love you and I'll always be here for you." She always
00:49 comes back with the same response, "Thank you," that prayer emoji and a hug. And I know some of
00:55 you will go, "Well, she responds like..." But guys, let's be real. This isn't even the bare minimum.
01:00 And I'm not outing my mum here. I'm sharing with you how strict and how toxic this cult is on
01:06 people in there because my mum would be suffering from this and people that leave like myself.
01:12 And also to share with other people that might be in a similar situation saying that, you know,
01:16 to show that I'm seven years out, nothing has changed with me. I'm just, I'm unashamedly me.
01:23 I'm not afraid to be gay, which is, you know, one of the main reasons I left,
01:27 because they're extremely homophobic. But she'll have to get approval on this response and watch
01:33 the dialect or the language change because it won't be her saying this. So you can see here,
01:39 I've said, "Would you let me take you out for a coffee?" No reply, no response. And she'll come
01:45 back probably in a day or so with a scripture and as to why she can't. Now, this is not my
01:50 mum speaking, I know, because she doesn't really know it that well. She's not really into the
01:56 religion. She was born into it. But yes, just to show you that I do do everything to try and,
02:00 you know, maintain a relationship with my mum. My mum is acting not on her own actions, but on that
02:06 of the church. When I left, I just laid on the lounge and I just looked up at the ceiling and I
02:12 didn't know time sort of hours sort of fleeted into days, into nights, into weeks. And I remember,
02:17 I think like for three weeks, I couldn't work out what day it was or time. Seeing my own family,
02:22 they obviously weren't supportive. It was all about them and, you know, how you're making us
02:28 feel. No regard for how I was feeling or how I was dealing alone in this new world. And I remember my
02:36 grandma saying, "The kids are praying for you. Where are you? They're crying for you." And I'm
02:40 like, "They have each other. I'm just alone." I didn't know that life would be better on the
02:45 outside because I knew what the costs were to leave, how much you had to lose in terms of the
02:51 family, your family, your whole world, and starting all over again. And remember, all my life, I was
02:56 brainwashed to believe that life isn't better out there. You're better off to die than to leave.
03:02 The first point was when I realised I was gay and then discovered that homosexuality is accepted in
03:09 the real world generally. And the second point was that I had so many conditions whereby I would be
03:16 loved. Everything I had to do to be a family member was on condition. It was never just you
03:22 as you are, authentic self, we love you. I think the last night of my life in there, my brother had
03:28 been out drinking with his cousins or our cousins and came home and violently attacked me, got
03:36 physical. And that's when I thought, "I need to get out of here. This is physical." The people
03:39 they're protecting us from are the wrong people that they need to be protecting us from. They
03:44 need to be protecting us from themselves.
03:46 [Music]
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