00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - I'm Mark, how are you?
00:11 - A little frustrated at the moment.
00:13 Also equally depressed and pessimistic
00:14 about our date tonight.
00:16 - Sure.
00:18 - Imagine a world where everyone can only tell the truth.
00:22 - I had a little sip of this.
00:23 - Okay. - From right there.
00:25 - I'm with him right now, seems nice.
00:27 A bit fat.
00:28 - She's way out of your league.
00:29 - No, I won't be sleeping with him tonight.
00:31 - About everything.
00:33 - I loathed almost every minute that I worked for you.
00:36 - All the time.
00:37 - I've always hated you.
00:38 - You've always hated you?
00:39 - I didn't know that.
00:40 - Yeah, a lot of people know it.
00:41 - I wish you could change things.
00:44 - How much are you going to be withdrawing today, sir?
00:46 - $800.
00:49 - It says here that you only have $300.
00:51 It seems our system has made a mistake.
00:52 Here you go.
00:53 - Today, I stumbled upon something
00:55 that no man has ever stumbled on before.
00:58 - The world's first lie.
01:00 (drum roll)
01:01 - This fall.
01:02 - I said something that wasn't.
01:05 - I'm black.
01:06 - I knew it.
01:07 - I'm an Eskimo.
01:08 - Fantastic.
01:09 - I'm a one-armed German space explorer.
01:12 - When's your launch date?
01:13 - Mark Bellison will discover.
01:15 - I can have my life the way I want it.
01:16 - You're a loser, it doesn't really count.
01:18 - Good, I settled that.
01:19 - The truth.
01:20 - I'm different now.
01:21 - Are you better looking?
01:22 - No.
01:23 - Did you buy new clothes?
01:23 - No.
01:24 - Have you been to the gym?
01:25 - No.
01:26 - About lying.
01:27 - Why do you hate Mark so much?
01:28 - He's a loser.
01:28 - You wanna marry a strong genetic match
01:30 and maybe one day have children that aren't--
01:33 - Little fat kids with snub noses.
01:35 - Exactly.
01:36 - If you could make the world the way you want it to be,
01:39 if you could do anything, what would you do?
01:41 - The world's gonna end unless we have sex right now.
01:44 - Do we have time to get to a motel
01:45 or do we need to do it right here?
01:47 - Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Jonah Hill,
01:51 Louis C.K., with Rob Lowe and Tina Fey.
01:55 - Do not have sex with anyone
01:57 unless you are married to them is the rule.
02:00 - What's this?
02:01 - Birthday coupon for sex.
02:02 What am I gonna get you now?
02:05 - But what, but hold on now.
02:07 - The Invention of Lying.
02:09 - This is the greatest movie ever made.
02:12 (dramatic music)
02:15 you
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