00:00 So the last unicorn, the last black unicorn,
00:02 is an interesting title for this book,
00:04 which we're gonna talk about a little bit.
00:05 But, and I read it, and I understand it,
00:08 but this is a story you gotta tell the audience.
00:09 'Cause I have no idea what this thing used to look like,
00:12 but describe it if you can,
00:13 how you would treat the unicorn horn that you had.
00:16 - Okay, so what I thought was a mole,
00:18 turns out it was actually a wart growing on my forehead.
00:22 And it was growing out like a horn,
00:25 and I would cut it and stuff when kids would make fun of it,
00:28 and that way it would make them stop and be like,
00:30 "Oh my gosh, Tiffany bleeding from her head."
00:32 And then it would grow out immediately again,
00:35 and then I would chase people with it and stuff.
00:37 I was a weirdo.
00:39 - But it's not there now, I don't see it.
00:40 - It's not there, it got burned off.
00:41 My grandma burned it off or whatever with the, you know.
00:44 - So it was a virus, it was a wart?
00:46 - It was a wart.
00:47 That's what that one doctor said.
00:49 When she took me and they said, "That's a wart."
00:51 And it was like the liquid nitrogen or whatever
00:53 they put it on there.
00:55 - So those kids were mean to you when you were young?
00:56 - Oh yeah, oh yeah.
00:58 - Just to fight them off?
00:58 - Yeah, yeah.
01:00 And so they used to be like, "You a dirty ass unicorn."
01:01 And I'm, and, that's messed up.
01:05 Well, once I got older, you know how sometimes
01:09 you can hear your bullies talking mess about you,
01:11 you can hear it in the back of your mind sometimes,
01:13 like playing over and over.
01:15 And I started thinking to myself as I got older,
01:17 you know what, I'm gonna take all those mean things
01:19 that those kids said to me,
01:21 and I'm gonna make money off of it.
01:22 (audience applauding)
01:27 And that's what I did.
01:28 - You did that well.
01:30 Although I gotta say, early on,
01:32 I mean, you're obviously an incredibly intelligent woman
01:34 'cause you basically memorized life
01:35 'til you're in ninth grade.
01:37 'Cause Tiffany acknowledges, again,
01:39 part of what I love about you is you just tell the truth.
01:41 - Right.
01:41 - You couldn't read,
01:42 and you were in ninth grade.
01:43 - Yeah, I was very bad at it.
01:45 Don't clap for that, that's not a good thing.
01:47 That's not a good, that's, you know, like.
01:49 - That's a telling the truth they're clapping,
01:50 'cause it's hard to admit that.
01:52 And we got kids all over this country now
01:53 who are in ninth grade who can't read.
01:55 - Really? - I thought you, yeah.
01:56 - You know why we got these broken up, like,
01:57 things in text messages?
01:59 - Yes, an example.
02:00 - What does this mean?
02:01 - That's a good example.
02:02 - TTY, what is TTY?
02:04 I don't know.
02:05 - TTY.
02:06 - LOL, just say laugh out loud.
02:07 Why you gotta say LOL?
02:08 Lazy.
02:09 - Lazy.
02:10 - So they can't spell.
02:10 - Lazy out loud.
02:11 - They can't spell laugh out loud.
02:12 - But I thought you were dyslexic.
02:14 I looked for reasons,
02:15 but it looks like you just were never taught to read.
02:17 - No, I don't think anyone actually took the actual time
02:20 to, like, sit down with me and read with me
02:23 and make sure I had it right.
02:24 Or, I don't know if I'm dys,
02:26 you know, I never really got tested.
02:27 I don't know.
02:28 But recently, my drama teacher who did sit down with me,
02:32 she just emailed me,
02:33 and so we're communicating,
02:35 and I'm gonna ask her,
02:36 did she think I was dyslexic?
02:37 Do you think I was dyslexic, girl?
02:39 - Well, I'm very happy.
02:40 - I don't think so, though.
02:41 Maybe just a little bit.
02:42 - If you don't mind.
02:43 - I'm gonna use that excuse.
02:44 - Yeah, I don't want to take it,
02:45 'cause I think it's so truthful
02:46 that you were able to memorize tons of stuff.
02:50 - The brain is an amazing thing,
02:51 and when you care about something
02:53 and when you want to not be outed
02:54 or not to look stupid
02:56 or not to be, you know, made fun of,
02:58 you will memorize and do whatever it takes to survive.
03:02 - So how would you escape being caught
03:05 as not being able to do that?
03:06 You're in ninth grade.
03:07 Don't they have you read stuff?
03:08 - Yeah, sometimes they would have you read things out loud,
03:10 so then you cut up in class,
03:11 you make noise, you whatever,
03:12 get sent to the dean's office, right?
03:14 So then you don't have to read.
03:15 Or you, like, if I knew that we had these chapters to do
03:19 or whatever beforehand,
03:20 like, if I knew, like,
03:21 the syllabus said whatever,
03:22 or, like, and I hear kids talking, like,
03:24 oh, we gotta do this tomorrow,
03:25 we gotta do chapter 12, 13, 14, tomorrow,
03:28 then I would be like,
03:28 which guy has a great voice?
03:30 So then I would find a dude in school
03:32 that got, like, a nice deep voice,
03:33 and somebody like, ooh, I love your voice,
03:35 could you read this to me?
03:36 And, like, every word that he said,
03:38 I would memorize.
03:39 And then, you know, confidence!
03:42 Confidence is everything,
03:43 where they think they on the wrong paragraph.
03:45 (laughs)
03:46 (audience applauds)
03:47 - So how would your drama teacher,
03:50 just, that you just mentioned,
03:51 how'd you figure out that you couldn't read?
03:53 - She wanted me to do a monologue, right?
03:55 And so in class, like, okay,
03:57 so in drama class,
03:58 when there would be monologues
04:00 of things that you had to do,
04:01 I would always go up to the girls
04:02 that I thought was the smartest and most, like,
04:04 you know, like, they thought they were so smart and prissy,
04:06 like, and they, uh, like.
04:09 So I would go up to them and ask them to read it,
04:10 to, like, how would you act this out?
04:12 I wanna try to be like you, you know?
04:14 And they would do, they would show me,
04:15 and then I would memorize it,
04:17 and I would do it.
04:17 And she handed something to me right then.
04:20 And so she goes, "Tiffany, do this right now."
04:21 And I was like, "I gotta pee.
04:23 "I gotta this, I gotta,"
04:25 like, immediately trying to, like, get out of it.
04:28 And she was like, "Can you read?"
04:29 I was like, "Ain't none of your business what I can do."
04:31 And I just kind of just stormed, you know,
04:32 like, get out of here.
04:34 And once I came back, she was like,
04:36 "Read to me right now.
04:37 "No, you're gonna read to me right now."
04:40 - So how did she teach you?
04:41 - Oh, she made me come every, like, you know,
04:43 we have 15 minutes,
04:44 I don't know about the rest of the world,
04:45 but in Los Angeles, we had nutrition and lunch.
04:47 So during nutrition, it was like 15 minutes,
04:49 I had to come and read to her.
04:51 And then during lunch, I had to come to read to her.
04:53 Every day for a whole semester,
04:54 and I caught on super quick, so.
04:56 - Can we give a hand to teachers
04:57 who go the extra length?
04:59 - Yeah.
05:00 - That's so cool, and I'm glad you reached out to her.
05:02 - Yeah.
05:03 - We'll be right back.
05:04 - Thank you for watching.
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