Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Host: Nida Yasir
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigitalshow #arydigital
#aroobamirza #zainabraza #danishnawaz #newyearcelebration
Host: Nida Yasir
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigitalshow #arydigital
#aroobamirza #zainabraza #danishnawaz #newyearcelebration
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FunTranscript
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00:00:53 Good morning.
00:00:54 Good morning.
00:00:55 Pakistan.
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00:06:15 Good morning, Pakistan.
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00:06:20 Welcome.
00:06:28 Welcome back.
00:06:29 Good morning, Pakistan.
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00:07:49 As daughters.
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00:10:56 I feel that could be one of the reasons.
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00:11:02 And I agree with what Nadia is saying,
00:11:06 that fathers [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
00:11:09 because what you're role modeling is much more effective.
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00:11:15 But daughters are very outspoken nowadays
00:11:18 because it's a lot to do with parenting style.
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00:11:28 So their self-esteem is so bad.
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00:11:34 Not good enough.
00:11:41 Yes.
00:11:42 So when they grow up feeling not good enough,
00:11:45 that's how they show up in the world.
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00:13:47 You know, like my father also, he would always
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00:19:39 We learn a lot.
00:19:41 Because I...
00:19:42 This is my first time being a mother to a daughter,
00:19:44 I don't know how to raise a daughter.
00:19:46 So whoever I raise, it will be based on trial and error.
00:19:50 You too have two daughters,
00:19:52 maybe for the first time you've understood something,
00:19:55 and for the second time you're taking care of those things.
00:19:59 You'll have in your brain, I did this to her,
00:20:02 but I have to do this with him.
00:20:04 Because I felt it was better.
00:20:06 So you have a second chance,
00:20:08 but many mothers don't have a second chance.
00:20:10 So let's see what Sumaiya is saying.
00:20:13 Sumaiya, greetings.
00:20:15 Greetings.
00:20:16 Yes, Nida.
00:20:18 When I did my matriculation, my father used to give me pick and drop.
00:20:23 But when I came to college, I had to get a van.
00:20:27 And the uncle in the van used to trouble me a lot.
00:20:32 He used to touch my hand on the pretext of taking my bag.
00:20:36 Sometimes he would toss my hand while giving me a water bottle.
00:20:39 You know, you can tell by the touch.
00:20:41 If it's by mistake, you can tell by the touch.
00:20:45 It happens once or twice.
00:20:47 But this was his daily routine.
00:20:50 He used to irritate me a lot.
00:20:53 She used to get very worried.
00:20:55 She used to get very worried, but she couldn't tell anyone
00:20:58 because my mother was sick.
00:21:00 She didn't want to stress my mother.
00:21:02 She didn't want her mother to get worried.
00:21:04 And I couldn't talk to my father about such things.
00:21:07 I couldn't understand him and I couldn't share it with my friends.
00:21:10 Then it so happened that the uncle started dropping me at the last moment.
00:21:14 He used to say that he would drop me at the end.
00:21:16 Although my house was very close to his house.
00:21:18 But he used to drop me at the last moment.
00:21:20 And when he dropped me at the last moment, he used to say that I should wait for a while.
00:21:23 He used to talk to me and sometimes he used to touch me.
00:21:26 I mean, I was so worried that I didn't want to go to school.
00:21:34 - You didn't tell anyone. - Yes, I didn't go to school.
00:21:36 I went to college.
00:21:38 Obviously, a girl can't tell her parents about such things.
00:21:41 She can't share such things with her friends.
00:21:43 Because people will misunderstand that they are having an affair.
00:21:46 Although he was a very old uncle and I was very young.
00:21:50 Then it so happened that my heart got completely damaged.
00:21:54 My mother thought that I had given up on studies and I didn't want to study.
00:21:57 So when I got engaged, my mother said that she didn't have any interest in studies.
00:22:02 She wanted to get me married.
00:22:05 But I couldn't tell my parents about the condition I was going through.
00:22:10 Now, after marriage, when I have a daughter, I don't even let her go in someone's lap.
00:22:16 Believe me, I have so many phobias.
00:22:20 I don't want anyone to love my daughter or touch her.
00:22:26 I feel that if someone touches her, it will be a bad touch.
00:22:30 I have a feeling that men in this society only touch bad things.
00:22:36 I don't get it. My daughter is growing up.
00:22:39 What should I do? You are sitting here.
00:22:43 So please advise me how to get rid of this feeling.
00:22:46 Because it happened a long time ago.
00:22:49 Now, I have a daughter of my own and I can't get rid of this pain.
00:22:53 We will answer your questions after a short break.
00:22:58 Secure your daughters.
00:23:01 Take care of them.
00:23:02 But along with that, how do you give them confidence?
00:23:07 Today, you can take some tips through this program.
00:23:11 Stay with us after a short break.
00:23:13 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:23:14 Welcome. Welcome back.
00:23:26 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:23:27 If you are watching us on TV, I will keep telling you.
00:23:30 Today, we are teaching you how to secure your daughters.
00:23:35 But along with securing them, how to give them confidence.
00:23:40 How to make them smart in life.
00:23:43 Because this is a very difficult life.
00:23:45 If a girl lives her life with fear and tolerance,
00:23:49 how will she move forward?
00:23:50 So, we will teach you how to move forward with both.
00:23:55 Try this program.
00:23:57 Nadia Hussain is with us.
00:23:59 Sana is a psychologist with us.
00:24:01 Sumaiya told us that the harassment she faced in life
00:24:06 became a trauma for her.
00:24:09 She was not limited to that.
00:24:11 And now, in the end,
00:24:13 she has been hijacked by fear and trauma.
00:24:20 She is not able to give her daughter that confidence.
00:24:23 She is very tolerant of her daughter.
00:24:25 And she is afraid of her daughter.
00:24:28 What should she do?
00:24:30 How should she overcome this trauma?
00:24:32 Because she never told anyone about this at a young age.
00:24:36 But now, she is a mother herself.
00:24:37 And she feels that she has to shut her daughter down.
00:24:39 She was not saying this at a young age.
00:24:40 She was saying this after she was admitted to college.
00:24:44 - She has been saying this for a long time. - In a sense, she is a teenager.
00:24:47 Nadia, she didn't know what to do at that age.
00:24:50 Yes.
00:24:50 Some girls are very confident, like you and me.
00:24:54 But some girls are not vocal about these things.
00:24:58 And they don't have the relationship with their parents.
00:25:00 - They don't go to their parents... - This is the problem.
00:25:03 This is where the problem starts.
00:25:06 The relationship that you don't have with your parents.
00:25:08 If she didn't want to trouble her mother,
00:25:11 she should have told her father, aunt, aunt.
00:25:17 She should have told her relatives, her grandmother, her grandmother.
00:25:20 She should have mentioned this to her relatives.
00:25:23 - She should have told her friends. - Yes.
00:25:25 I think by telling your friends,
00:25:27 - you get catharsis internally. - You get catharsis.
00:25:32 You let out something,
00:25:35 and you get a response from the other side.
00:25:37 Secondly, if you have friends,
00:25:41 who have a very friendly approach with their parents,
00:25:44 they are confident.
00:25:45 And when you are going through a tough time,
00:25:49 your friends will hold your hand and push you forward.
00:25:51 - They will tell you. - Yes.
00:25:52 - They will tell your parents. - Yes.
00:25:54 - They will tell you why you are quiet. - Yes.
00:25:56 - Your friends will push you forward. - Yes.
00:26:00 So, I think communication is very important.
00:26:06 If you internalize something,
00:26:09 then you will either get a response internally,
00:26:12 - or you will get a response externally. - Yes.
00:26:15 What would you say to them?
00:26:17 What should they do now?
00:26:18 What happened is in the past.
00:26:20 And obviously, we should tell the girls
00:26:23 that they shouldn't take it lightly.
00:26:25 They need to take action.
00:26:27 I think the most important thing is to heal from your abuse.
00:26:31 Whatever you will resist will always persist.
00:26:33 The thing you keep hidden,
00:26:35 the secret is always in your body.
00:26:37 Trauma, stress, sickness,
00:26:39 and after a while, it comes out as an illness.
00:26:42 So, whatever it is, share it with a confident
00:26:45 and trustworthy person.
00:26:48 Also, feel that what's done is done.
00:26:51 If God doesn't do something for you today,
00:26:54 what can you do?
00:26:55 So, actually, relate with the power that you have now.
00:26:59 The awareness that you have now.
00:27:01 If you raise a child with fear,
00:27:03 then that is fear-induced parenting.
00:27:06 Like, this is what you are trying to say.
00:27:09 That Sumaiya has raised her daughter with fear and fear.
00:27:13 - She must have felt that too. - Absolutely.
00:27:16 And she has to first heal from her fear.
00:27:18 And then understand that one of my mentor teachers, Alia,
00:27:22 she taught us something.
00:27:23 She said that fear, F-E-A-R, means fake evidence appearing real.
00:27:28 So, basically, you don't have any evidence
00:27:30 that your daughter will be molested.
00:27:32 But because your past experience has developed a fear,
00:27:35 so, understand that there is no evidence that it will happen.
00:27:38 But because you are actually manifesting it,
00:27:41 you are thinking and your focus is on it,
00:27:43 that nothing wrong should happen.
00:27:45 So, break that pattern and understand that what happened to you,
00:27:50 what are you changing in the dynamics
00:27:52 and the infrastructure of your brain,
00:27:54 of your child's brain and the ecology and the household
00:27:58 where she is comfortable to reach out to the father.
00:28:01 Does she have a healthy relationship with her father
00:28:04 where she feels that life is safe?
00:28:06 I understood from both of your talks
00:28:11 that fathers have such a big role
00:28:16 in making the child confident.
00:28:19 I am being a mother, but now I am thinking
00:28:22 that the confidence my father had on me
00:28:25 or the way he raised me,
00:28:28 so, there is a bigger role than a mother, actually, in that.
00:28:31 That's true.
00:28:32 All the confident girls I see,
00:28:34 even Nadia is saying that your father has a big role.
00:28:38 So, do we really take our motherly responsibility
00:28:41 for the upbringing of our children?
00:28:43 I think it's more on the father than the mother.
00:28:46 It's on both.
00:28:48 When you raise a child, there is a family structure.
00:28:51 In the family structure, both the parents come.
00:28:53 How is the relationship between the parents?
00:28:55 How is their own understanding of a situation?
00:29:00 If the understanding of both is the same,
00:29:05 then you react accordingly.
00:29:07 It's not like a mother says, "No, no, no,
00:29:10 "press her, press her," and the father says, "Leave her."
00:29:13 I say that if your parenting style is different,
00:29:17 then the child gets confused, "What do I do?"
00:29:20 "Should I sit quietly, not say, 'Yes, I have to say it.'"
00:29:24 So, I think it matters a lot
00:29:28 what you get from both the parents.
00:29:31 What input you get.
00:29:33 It's very important to know your external output.
00:29:37 And Nadia and Sana, this is not the only abuse.
00:29:41 Like Sumaiya said,
00:29:42 there is abuse where the child doesn't understand
00:29:45 what love is.
00:29:47 Often, the boys who are with her,
00:29:50 they also misuse her.
00:29:52 When she goes to college, university,
00:29:55 or goes into professional life,
00:29:58 they also misuse her.
00:30:00 During the break, we were talking about
00:30:04 how culturally we are so restrictive
00:30:10 that the normal relationship
00:30:15 between a boy and a girl,
00:30:19 even between cousins,
00:30:22 boys and girls,
00:30:24 they say, "Don't talk to her."
00:30:28 "Don't do this, don't do that."
00:30:30 Until you normalize the communication
00:30:33 between a boy and a girl,
00:30:39 you don't know.
00:30:41 You think, "Oh, he's talking to me."
00:30:43 "Oh, he's showing me love."
00:30:45 That's not true.
00:30:47 The way you talk is different.
00:30:49 The way you flirt is different.
00:30:51 The way you harass is different.
00:30:54 If they do something more,
00:30:57 you still know.
00:30:59 But keep the communication normal.
00:31:02 If there is no communication,
00:31:04 you won't know.
00:31:05 Many girls don't go to co-education.
00:31:09 When they don't go to co-education,
00:31:12 opposite sex becomes a barrier for them.
00:31:15 When they come back to practical life,
00:31:18 they don't understand.
00:31:19 They don't know how to handle it.
00:31:23 They've spent their lives in girls' education.
00:31:26 They don't know how to handle opposite sex.
00:31:29 But, Nida, many times,
00:31:31 kids go to private schools,
00:31:34 modern schools,
00:31:37 where there are white teachers.
00:31:38 But parents say,
00:31:40 "Don't be friends with boys."
00:31:41 "No boy can come to our house."
00:31:43 So, you're sending them to this class
00:31:46 and then you're telling them,
00:31:48 "No boy can come to our house."
00:31:50 Kids get confused about what you want from them.
00:31:54 Then why that choice of having your child
00:31:58 and going to that school,
00:31:59 but boys are not allowed to talk to boys.
00:32:01 You create a lot of tension.
00:32:03 They don't understand.
00:32:06 Automatically, they start getting tempted towards it.
00:32:08 Parents are creating tension in child protection.
00:32:11 Nida, I believe
00:32:13 you shouldn't over-protect your child.
00:32:18 Whether it's a boy or a girl,
00:32:20 if you over-protect them,
00:32:22 you're suppressing their own response.
00:32:27 You're telling them,
00:32:30 "I'm here for you."
00:32:32 "I'll protect you."
00:32:35 As a parent, you're so much over-protective of your child
00:32:40 that they say, "I don't know how I'll live in this world without my parents."
00:32:44 No, you shouldn't do that.
00:32:46 It's like what we said in the beginning.
00:32:48 You should go and get food.
00:32:52 You should send your kids to the shops.
00:32:56 My daughter is 11 years old.
00:32:59 She needed a phone charger or something.
00:33:02 I was alone,
00:33:04 so I found the parking lot right in front of the shop.
00:33:09 I told my 11-year-old daughter,
00:33:11 "Go inside and tell the uncle that you need a charger."
00:33:16 She said, "No, no, I'll get kidnapped."
00:33:19 I said, "Are you crazy?"
00:33:22 I told her, "I'm right here. The car is right in front of me. Go inside."
00:33:26 I told her, "I'm watching you. Go inside and tell him you need a charger."
00:33:33 She left the house in a strange manner.
00:33:36 She didn't have to go, but I forced her to go.
00:33:42 She went inside and came back.
00:33:44 She took the money from me and went back inside.
00:33:47 Until you don't encourage them,
00:33:51 if you protect them so much,
00:33:55 the child will feel that
00:33:58 "I won't be able to understand anything until I'm protected."
00:34:02 - They won't be secure. - Right.
00:34:04 You have to give your child that experience.
00:34:08 You have to push them in the world.
00:34:10 - As a parent... - We won't be there all the time.
00:34:14 We won't be there.
00:34:15 Until the child doesn't know what's possible in the world,
00:34:20 and talking to your child about these things
00:34:25 means that you are creating that awareness as well.
00:34:28 If you can do this,
00:34:32 you can give them confidence in talking as well.
00:34:35 - Absolutely. - It's very important.
00:34:37 You have to sit down and share your life experiences.
00:34:40 Your mother would tell us a story four times.
00:34:44 "This happened to us. We went this way. We went that way."
00:34:47 She would tell us that story four times.
00:34:49 We would tell her that we have heard it.
00:34:51 But even today,
00:34:53 even if we don't remember anything,
00:34:56 the stories that have been told four or five times,
00:35:00 "This happened to me. This happened to me."
00:35:02 are still in my mind.
00:35:05 Because they were told to me repeatedly,
00:35:08 and I learned from them
00:35:10 which I am practically applying in my life.
00:35:13 We would get irritated.
00:35:14 "Mom, what is this? You started the story again."
00:35:18 Our children would tell us the same.
00:35:20 - So... - It's very important
00:35:22 - to talk to your children at home. - Yes.
00:35:24 We talk about everything,
00:35:26 but we don't talk about body parts,
00:35:28 we don't talk about awareness,
00:35:29 - we don't teach our kids. - Yes.
00:35:31 And the role of a father,
00:35:32 not all of them, but in some cases,
00:35:35 - they are absent. - Yes, you are right.
00:35:37 - Emotionally absent. - My mother,
00:35:38 because of the abuse that I had,
00:35:42 she would tell us her stories.
00:35:44 I didn't understand it then,
00:35:46 but now I understand that
00:35:48 to save us from abuse,
00:35:50 she would tell us her stories.
00:35:53 "This happened to me. I told her this."
00:35:55 "I did this."
00:35:57 So, that was training for us.
00:36:00 I did the same with my daughter.
00:36:03 I told her my mother's story.
00:36:05 "This can happen."
00:36:07 And sometimes, you have to build the story.
00:36:10 - I remember the stories. - One more thing.
00:36:13 One more thing, Nida.
00:36:15 I feel that when you are in such situations,
00:36:21 you shouldn't separate yourself from the situation
00:36:25 and tell your daughter.
00:36:27 Because you can give a signal
00:36:31 that if this happened to me or you,
00:36:34 and if it's bad,
00:36:36 then you are bad and so am I.
00:36:38 You shouldn't give this signal.
00:36:40 - You shouldn't give this signal. - No.
00:36:43 If this happened to you...
00:36:45 I mean to say that
00:36:47 when you tell a story to a child,
00:36:52 - it makes them feel bad. - Yes.
00:36:55 But if you include yourself in it,
00:36:58 then you get a connection.
00:37:01 You feel that it happened to your cousin,
00:37:04 your mother, your father, your grandmother.
00:37:07 If it happens to you, it's fine.
00:37:09 Fine means... What do you do next?
00:37:13 Anything can happen.
00:37:15 You know the result.
00:37:16 - You know if you did this or that. - Yes.
00:37:20 - You know the result. - Yes.
00:37:21 - I am saying the same. - You told her the story.
00:37:24 Yes, but if you include yourself in it,
00:37:28 that it happened to me and I did this,
00:37:32 then you tell your child about it.
00:37:35 It doesn't matter if it's your grandmother's experience,
00:37:38 your aunt's experience, your own experience,
00:37:40 your aunt's experience, whatever the experience is.
00:37:43 You tell your child about it.
00:37:44 And one more thing.
00:37:45 The things that are happening these days,
00:37:49 the news that you hear,
00:37:52 that this happened to this person,
00:37:54 this happened to this college man,
00:37:56 this happened to that person,
00:37:58 you tell your child about the current events.
00:38:02 You tell your child about the current events.
00:38:05 Because the kids listen to the news.
00:38:08 Whether it's on TV or on the radio,
00:38:12 or a teacher or a class fellow mentions it,
00:38:16 if you don't know what happened to that child,
00:38:21 why it happened, who is wrong and who is right,
00:38:24 then again, there is confusion.
00:38:26 That it happened to that girl, it was her fault.
00:38:30 You know, this is something that you need to be very...
00:38:34 make the children aware.
00:38:36 - Yes. - That's it.
00:38:38 Okay, it's break time.
00:38:40 Before we go on break,
00:38:42 we will come back after the break and move on to the next story.
00:38:46 But before that, I would like to tell you
00:38:48 that HBL PSL Season 9 has begun.
00:38:53 And like every year, Karachi Kings is playing this year.
00:38:56 And we all have to support them.
00:38:58 Karachi Kings has lost a match to Multan Sultan
00:39:02 by 55 runs.
00:39:05 But we pray for the upcoming matches
00:39:09 that they win with their full strength.
00:39:13 I would like to mention the sponsors of Karachi Kings.
00:39:19 ARY Laguna DHA, City Karachi.
00:39:22 ARY Laguna DHA, Gujranwala.
00:39:24 Titanium is the sponsor.
00:39:26 Imtiaz Supermarket is the platinum supermarket partner.
00:39:29 VGOTEL is the platinum mobile phone partner.
00:39:36 Dolenz is the reliable appliances partner.
00:39:39 Mughal Steel is the strength partner.
00:39:42 Easy Color is the styling partner.
00:39:44 Taj Darbar is the restaurant partner.
00:39:47 YOLO is the smartwatch partner.
00:39:53 Rose Petal and Maxorp is the hygiene partner.
00:39:57 So, we are back after a short break.
00:40:01 And today's show is about how to make our daughters aware, secure
00:40:07 and confident.
00:40:12 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:40:14 Welcome, welcome back.
00:40:25 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:40:26 Today, we will talk about how to secure our daughters
00:40:31 and take care of them.
00:40:33 But also, how to make them smart.
00:40:36 Actually, how to make them smart.
00:40:38 Because it's the age of smart girls.
00:40:40 We have to teach our daughters how to live with confidence.
00:40:45 We have to raise them with love and care.
00:40:48 And you might get some tips through this show.
00:40:51 Our next story is about Ayesha.
00:40:56 And what things came in Ayesha's life
00:41:00 that we can learn from her. Let's listen to it.
00:41:03 - Yes, Ayesha. - Good morning.
00:41:04 Good morning, Ayesha.
00:41:05 This incident happened to me when I started my new graduation.
00:41:10 And I was very shocked that I had to utilize this and not work.
00:41:15 My mother refused to do it from home.
00:41:18 But she didn't tell me why I shouldn't do it.
00:41:20 And she said, "You don't have to do it."
00:41:22 Anyway, I insisted and started my job.
00:41:24 I started going to a good firm.
00:41:27 Then I found out that there are seniors there.
00:41:29 You have to work under them.
00:41:31 So, I had a senior who was quite aged.
00:41:34 And we had a good conversation.
00:41:36 So, in a few days, he started to explain things to me.
00:41:42 I told him to explain it to me, but he started to get closer.
00:41:45 He started to physically touch me.
00:41:47 And he picked up my dupatta and gave it to me.
00:41:52 Or he tapped me on the shoulder.
00:41:54 So, I got angry and I kept away from him.
00:42:01 And I started to ignore him or avoid him.
00:42:04 And he started to be strict with me.
00:42:09 I couldn't tolerate it anymore.
00:42:11 So, I tolerated it quietly.
00:42:14 And I couldn't tell my family because my mother had already refused.
00:42:19 So, I had to stay at home.
00:42:21 And after a few days, the same things started to happen again.
00:42:25 And those things increased.
00:42:27 I didn't have access to my boss.
00:42:29 I didn't have the knowledge to go to anyone.
00:42:31 I didn't have much confidence.
00:42:33 And there was no team where we could go and share our knowledge.
00:42:38 And then, I stayed at home.
00:42:41 My mother said, "Okay, stay."
00:42:43 I couldn't tell her any reason.
00:42:45 And I couldn't utilize my education.
00:42:48 - And you left the job? - Yes.
00:42:50 I don't know where she was working.
00:42:52 - Where was she working? - How will she tell you?
00:42:55 - No, I mean... - Don't ask that.
00:42:57 - Okay. - Ask where she was working.
00:42:58 But if you are working anywhere,
00:43:01 and you are saying that you didn't have access to your boss,
00:43:06 then it's okay if you don't have a boss.
00:43:08 But there can be some senior,
00:43:10 especially if it's a woman senior.
00:43:13 There can be someone else who...
00:43:17 Usually, your colleagues are of the same age as you.
00:43:20 - You discuss with them. - Yes.
00:43:22 And I have seen this experience in my life.
00:43:28 If your colleagues are of the same age as you,
00:43:31 when you share this with them, they confirm that
00:43:34 - "He does the same with us." - Absolutely.
00:43:36 You get confirmation because you are scared
00:43:40 that you are feeling that he is like that.
00:43:43 And you ask yourself so many times,
00:43:46 you answer yourself,
00:43:48 "I don't have any doubts. I can point my finger at anyone."
00:43:51 - "And it's just my doubt." - I want to say something
00:43:54 from a job point of view.
00:43:58 If you are working in a good institute,
00:44:02 in a good office, in a good place,
00:44:05 then you have an HR department.
00:44:07 - Yes. - I am telling you this technically.
00:44:10 - It's related to jobs. - Yes.
00:44:11 You have an HR department.
00:44:12 You can go to the HR department and file a complaint.
00:44:16 Now, again, under the law,
00:44:20 under the law of Pakistan,
00:44:24 you get protection
00:44:26 against sexual harassment at workplace.
00:44:30 So, it's important for women to know about this.
00:44:33 If they are working in any office area
00:44:37 or joining any workforce,
00:44:40 whether they are joining a school,
00:44:42 - there is HR in schools. - Yes.
00:44:44 If you are going to a telecom or a bank,
00:44:47 if you are going to a good institution,
00:44:50 you have the resources.
00:44:54 I am talking about the present.
00:44:57 You have the resources to go and lodge a complaint.
00:45:02 You shouldn't have a problem lodging a complaint.
00:45:05 I don't know which institution doesn't have such resources.
00:45:11 - I am talking about my salon. - To reach the resources,
00:45:15 the confidence a girl needs,
00:45:18 when she doesn't have it, I am saying the same.
00:45:20 - You can write a complaint. - You can write a complaint.
00:45:23 - You can write a complaint. - You can email it.
00:45:25 Or your friends.
00:45:26 It's the same thing.
00:45:28 When the colleagues work, they become a force.
00:45:31 The girls get together.
00:45:33 They back you up and say, "Friend, lodge a complaint."
00:45:36 - They go to lodge a complaint together. - Yes.
00:45:38 It's often seen that four or five girls go and lodge a complaint together.
00:45:44 "You lodge a complaint about her."
00:45:46 "Because she is with us."
00:45:47 It's the same thing.
00:45:48 When they are with one person, they have this sickness.
00:45:52 And they must have done the same with other girls.
00:45:55 So, that girl is not only saving herself,
00:45:57 she is saving other girls as well.
00:46:00 - What is it? - Look, Nida.
00:46:01 If there is a place where there is no human resource,
00:46:07 you can't lodge a complaint,
00:46:10 you can take it upon yourself that you will become a resource.
00:46:16 Or you will do this.
00:46:17 You don't have to be suppressed.
00:46:19 You have to raise your voice against it.
00:46:22 You have to say what is wrong.
00:46:24 And if it is wrong,
00:46:26 then again, it's the same thing.
00:46:29 You have to take someone with you and speak against it.
00:46:33 And you can become a resource yourself.
00:46:35 And another thing, the fear of girls.
00:46:37 "My job will be over. I will be at home."
00:46:40 - "My family will be over." - "I will lose my job."
00:46:42 They are supporting.
00:46:43 This is the fear that you have to tolerate so many things.
00:46:48 Why don't you think that she should also learn a lesson.
00:46:51 - Yes. - She has been troubling so many girls.
00:46:54 - Absolutely. - She should have someone to teach her a lesson.
00:46:58 And this is the God's will.
00:47:01 No one can end a job like this.
00:47:04 You can get better than this.
00:47:06 - So, end this fear and these doubts. - And one more thing.
00:47:08 We were talking during the break.
00:47:10 Nida, victim blaming.
00:47:13 Blaming the victim.
00:47:15 In our society, in our environment, in our culture,
00:47:19 in our mentality,
00:47:22 blaming the victim is the first and easiest target.
00:47:27 That this is the mistake.
00:47:30 This is the mistake.
00:47:32 Stop blaming the victim.
00:47:35 Remove the victim blaming from your mind.
00:47:39 Because, yes, I am not saying that
00:47:42 every woman speaks the truth if she has been victimized.
00:47:46 Yes, it happens.
00:47:48 I want to ask Sana.
00:47:50 Sana, if you are in an office or you study in a place
00:47:56 where you are not so confident,
00:47:58 they say you are not so confident,
00:48:00 you are in that age.
00:48:02 - Right. - So, how do you back up yourself?
00:48:04 How do you create that power inside you
00:48:06 so that you take an initiative for that?
00:48:09 The most important thing is to go to the HR.
00:48:13 If you don't have the confidence to go to the HR,
00:48:15 it's very easy to text or type or email.
00:48:18 Because you are alone there.
00:48:20 You can write whatever you want to.
00:48:22 You don't get a response.
00:48:23 You have basically put down your burden.
00:48:27 And then sitting at home is not just job pay, harassment.
00:48:30 It's also the mindset you had when you went there
00:48:33 that you don't want to work.
00:48:35 So, already there was no approval.
00:48:38 So, the easiest outlet for you was that you came back
00:48:40 and said, "Yes, you were right.
00:48:42 I was wrong, you were right."
00:48:44 Instead of really fighting that
00:48:46 there are not only bad people everywhere.
00:48:48 You know, really empowering yourself
00:48:51 that what is now that I can do?
00:48:53 This is done. I left my job.
00:48:55 I emailed. Now I am sitting.
00:48:57 Now where do I have to go from here?
00:48:58 Because I think as humans, we always have a choice.
00:49:02 Neither time is the same, nor the situation, nor the people.
00:49:05 So, understand that it's not necessary
00:49:07 that it's always bad.
00:49:09 You have to fight that. It's a life journey.
00:49:12 In life journey, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.
00:49:15 But beauty of being Ashraf ul Makhluqat
00:49:18 is that we have the brain.
00:49:20 With awareness, healing, therapy, yoga, meditation,
00:49:24 so many things.
00:49:26 And you know, in Karachi, there are many things available.
00:49:29 Heal yourself.
00:49:30 Go out and see how can you change the infrastructure of your brain.
00:49:35 Because it's constant work.
00:49:37 You can't heal anyone.
00:49:38 You can't heal your parents,
00:49:40 you can't heal the school, you can't heal the environment.
00:49:42 You can work on yourself.
00:49:44 When you work on yourself, you can conquer the world.
00:49:48 And that's the thing, Nidha. Victim blaming.
00:49:51 If you consider yourself a victim,
00:49:53 that maybe it was my fault,
00:49:55 then you will blame yourself with the same mentality.
00:50:00 That I went out and this happened to me.
00:50:03 My mother said no.
00:50:05 If you work, you will blame yourself.
00:50:09 Don't blame yourself because it's not your fault.
00:50:12 It's the fault of that person because he did it.
00:50:16 He is crazy. His mentality is bad.
00:50:20 That's why he is doing it.
00:50:22 He got a chance.
00:50:24 He judged you.
00:50:27 That you are a wet cat.
00:50:29 Maybe he can do it.
00:50:31 Sana also wants to say something.
00:50:33 Let's see what she has to say.
00:50:37 Sana, Assalamualaikum.
00:50:38 Assalamualaikum.
00:50:40 I went out for a job for the first time.
00:50:43 My family was not ready for it.
00:50:46 But I wanted to do a job.
00:50:48 I wanted to go out and see the environment.
00:50:51 When I started working for the first time,
00:50:54 my brother used to drop me.
00:50:56 When my brother got a job, he didn't drop me.
00:51:01 I was going alone.
00:51:02 The boys in our neighborhood started following me.
00:51:06 They used to torture me.
00:51:09 They used to pull my dupatta, bag and abaya.
00:51:13 They used to ask me to give them my number.
00:51:15 They used to talk to me in a strange way.
00:51:18 I used to come home after getting worried.
00:51:21 I had been working for a long time.
00:51:23 I was always worried.
00:51:26 One day, they came and asked me to give them my number.
00:51:30 I told them I couldn't give them my number.
00:51:32 They told me not to worry.
00:51:33 Otherwise, I would be screaming and shouting.
00:51:36 They said, "If you make a sound,
00:51:38 "they will throw a tada on your face."
00:51:40 "You are so proud of your beauty.
00:51:41 "Give them your number.
00:51:43 "Otherwise, we will trouble you."
00:51:46 I was so scared that I lost my patience.
00:51:50 I couldn't do anything.
00:51:52 I left my job and started calling for help.
00:51:56 I didn't know what to say.
00:51:59 I didn't know what to tell my family.
00:52:01 They started torturing me with my number.
00:52:07 I was so worried that I went home.
00:52:10 I couldn't say anything.
00:52:12 If a person shares something with his friends or cousins,
00:52:17 they say that the girl is bad.
00:52:20 The girl is the only one who is defamed in the family.
00:52:22 I was silent.
00:52:24 I have never been able to tell anyone about this.
00:52:29 You don't work anymore.
00:52:30 I don't work anymore. I stay at home.
00:52:32 You destroyed your future because of your fear.
00:52:37 You didn't tell anyone at home.
00:52:39 Neither your parents nor your siblings.
00:52:41 I didn't tell anyone.
00:52:42 I am still scared that I won't be able to tell my family.
00:52:46 How long has it been?
00:52:48 How long has it been?
00:52:49 It's been a year and a half.
00:52:51 You wasted a year and a half of your life.
00:52:55 How far can people go in a year?
00:52:58 If they are capable, they can get promoted.
00:53:02 They can earn money.
00:53:04 She is blaming herself.
00:53:08 If she stops blaming herself,
00:53:10 she will have the courage to talk.
00:53:13 If she believes that it's not her fault,
00:53:18 it's her fault.
00:53:19 Let me tell you something.
00:53:20 They are from your locality.
00:53:22 If we follow the same approach,
00:53:25 you will know about their families.
00:53:26 Go and complain to their parents.
00:53:30 If you don't want to tell your parents,
00:53:34 go and complain to their mother.
00:53:36 Everyone has a phone.
00:53:37 Make a video.
00:53:39 Make a video.
00:53:40 Send it to everyone.
00:53:43 This girl is doing this to me.
00:53:45 What else?
00:53:46 If someone is threatening you,
00:53:50 it's easy to say,
00:53:54 "Go and do this."
00:53:55 If they do something,
00:53:57 -I have experienced it. -What should they do?
00:53:59 For the longest time,
00:54:00 I always have a pepper spray in my bag.
00:54:03 Sometimes you have to use tools for self-protection
00:54:06 where the other person is also threatened.
00:54:08 -Speak in Urdu. -If you have a pepper spray,
00:54:11 if you have it,
00:54:13 if someone is threatening you,
00:54:15 you should also threaten them.
00:54:16 Sometimes you have to file an FIR.
00:54:18 Sometimes you have to approach the police.
00:54:20 Sometimes you have to punch them.
00:54:22 You have to slap them.
00:54:23 You have to kick them.
00:54:24 Step out of your comfort zone.
00:54:25 You have to pick up your bag.
00:54:26 You have to carry a bottle with you.
00:54:30 You have to carry something like that.
00:54:31 -You have to be a bearded man. -You get steel bottles.
00:54:33 You get steel bottles.
00:54:35 But the main thing is that we have a phone.
00:54:38 -This phone is our weapon. -It's our weapon.
00:54:41 It's a very big weapon.
00:54:43 You don't even have to put the phone in their mouth
00:54:47 -and record them. -Just open it.
00:54:48 -Open the recording. -You can put it upside down
00:54:51 in your phone or in your hand.
00:54:54 But if the camera is on,
00:54:57 you can record them.
00:54:58 And you are protecting yourself
00:55:00 -by recording them. -Yes.
00:55:02 It's not my fault.
00:55:04 I was walking.
00:55:06 -These boys troubled me. -Exactly.
00:55:08 And stop blaming yourself.
00:55:10 The element of victim blaming in our country,
00:55:13 in our environment, in our culture, in our society,
00:55:16 everyone blames the girl.
00:55:18 -They do it. -We are saying that
00:55:19 we should make our daughters smart.
00:55:21 Sana, if you were smart,
00:55:24 you would have at least tried this idea of mobile phones.
00:55:28 So, to make them smart...
00:55:30 Sana is not smart.
00:55:33 We are trying to make her smart at this age.
00:55:36 Sana should tell us that
00:55:38 -when our daughters are young... -Communication.
00:55:40 When our daughters are young,
00:55:42 how to induce them?
00:55:44 Not the normal class of Nadia,
00:55:47 not my class,
00:55:49 but the class of the girl who comes from this neighborhood.
00:55:52 Where the girls shouldn't just whisper in front of their father.
00:55:55 -No, communication is the key. -Absolutely.
00:55:56 -Communication is the key. -Teach them to protect.
00:55:58 Communication is the key.
00:56:00 I think that as soon as we are born,
00:56:03 we keep telling our stories.
00:56:06 You should tell your stories.
00:56:07 But in every situation, ask your kids
00:56:10 what they would do if something like this happened to them.
00:56:12 What if this happens?
00:56:13 If something like this happens, what will you do?
00:56:15 If such a situation comes up,
00:56:17 instead of just looking at their situation,
00:56:19 many times, we don't learn from our parents' experiences.
00:56:23 Even if they tell us a story 10 times,
00:56:26 we will be in the same situation.
00:56:28 And we can't apply their experience.
00:56:30 Because we are different.
00:56:32 Everything about us is different from our parents.
00:56:36 So it's very important that when you have daily conversations at home,
00:56:41 you start giving situations to a 5-year-old or a 4-year-old.
00:56:45 What will you do if this glass breaks?
00:56:47 So self-protection comes from communication.
00:56:50 Ask them.
00:56:51 The more you ask questions, because the child's mind is very curious.
00:56:55 It adapts all the time.
00:56:57 We can't adapt as much as a 7-year-old or 8-year-old can.
00:57:02 Because their brain is still growing.
00:57:04 Their brain will mature at 28.
00:57:06 You have so much time and years to ask your children questions.
00:57:10 Ask them questions all day.
00:57:11 Instead of giving them advice.
00:57:14 Because we are not perfect.
00:57:16 We have made thousands of mistakes.
00:57:18 And if we had thousands of situations,
00:57:20 we wouldn't have dealt with them the way we are telling our children.
00:57:25 We would have dealt with them differently.
00:57:26 Because our level of awareness is different.
00:57:28 So ask your children questions and give them input.
00:57:32 It's possible that they will deal better with us.
00:57:34 - It's not possible. - Yes.
00:57:36 And if you tell your children, "If this happens to you, do this."
00:57:41 "If this happens to you, do this."
00:57:43 Like, the fight thing.
00:57:48 Don't get suppressed.
00:57:50 You have to tell your children, "If this happens to you,
00:57:53 you have to hit them with a stick."
00:57:55 "You have to kick them."
00:57:57 "You have to pick up your bag and hit them."
00:58:01 You carry a bag with you.
00:58:05 You can train your children in this way.
00:58:08 You can train them at home.
00:58:10 "If this happens to you, pick up your bag and hit them."
00:58:13 I want to share something good.
00:58:15 Before going on a break, my son's friend was beaten by a girl.
00:58:19 He was a boy who used to beat up all his friends.
00:58:25 I asked him during the break, "Did she beat you?"
00:58:28 "Did you do anything?"
00:58:30 He said, "My teacher and my mother said that we can't hit girls."
00:58:34 I felt so much love for him.
00:58:37 He was such a brave boy.
00:58:38 The girl hit him with a football and left.
00:58:43 But he didn't take revenge because he was the one who was induced
00:58:46 by his mother and teacher that we shouldn't hit girls.
00:58:51 So, this is it.
00:58:52 Training starts with the mother's child.
00:58:54 The kind of sons we bring up, we'll find the same kind of men in the society.
00:59:00 So, communication is not only important for daughters,
00:59:02 but it's also important for sons.
00:59:04 Let's watch Good Morning Pakistan after a short break.
00:59:07 Welcome. Welcome back.
00:59:20 Good Morning Pakistan.
00:59:22 You're sitting with a psychologist and a psychiatrist.
00:59:24 You're going crazy.
00:59:27 What's happening in the world today,
00:59:30 maybe it wasn't like this in the olden days.
00:59:32 - No, it was. - There was no awareness.
00:59:34 - Now, there's no awareness. - Now, there's awareness.
00:59:36 We feel like, "What kind of a world is this?"
00:59:40 It would've been there from the beginning,
00:59:41 but no one would talk about it.
00:59:43 Now, everyone talks about it because
00:59:46 social media has done some good things.
00:59:50 - Yes, very good things. - It's given awareness.
00:59:52 Kids have created pages.
00:59:53 People who have grown up, who have bared all these things,
00:59:56 they have shared their stories,
00:59:58 and because of that,
00:59:59 they have benefited other kids and other people.
01:00:02 We have learned a lot from these things.
01:00:05 So, who do I have with me?
01:00:07 I have Maheen. What is Maheen going to tell us
01:00:11 about what she learned from her life,
01:00:13 what she bared for herself,
01:00:14 maybe your daughter can learn something from that.
01:00:17 Yes, Maheen.
01:00:18 - Hello. - Hello.
01:00:21 I'm going to my mother's house
01:00:26 to pick up my daughter.
01:00:27 - You were travelling in that cab - Yes.
01:00:30 - that we call through the app. - Yes, we call it through the app.
01:00:34 Okay. We have a security for that.
01:00:36 Because we call it through the app,
01:00:38 four people from the company know
01:00:41 that the car and the driver are coming to pick us up.
01:00:44 - Yes. - I was going with my daughters.
01:00:47 They came to pick us up from the beginning.
01:00:51 It was okay, but later on, they started doing strange things.
01:00:55 My number had gone to them.
01:00:57 They were pointing at me to remove my mask.
01:01:01 They were looking back.
01:01:03 They weren't paying attention to the car.
01:01:05 My daughter started crying when she saw this.
01:01:08 She said, "Mum, why is this uncle doing this?"
01:01:11 I was very scared.
01:01:13 I said, "What should I do?"
01:01:14 "You drive the car, take the string."
01:01:17 He was taking the phone instead of the string.
01:01:20 He was looking at me through the mirror.
01:01:22 He was looking back.
01:01:24 I was very scared.
01:01:25 I told him to stop the car.
01:01:27 I would take another car and go.
01:01:30 But he said, "No."
01:01:31 He said, "If you want to get down, pay me double."
01:01:35 I said, "Okay."
01:01:36 My daughters were crying. I was helpless.
01:01:38 I agreed to pay him double.
01:01:41 But when I got down,
01:01:44 we had a deal of Rs. 1,000.
01:01:45 He started paying me Rs. 2,000.
01:01:46 He said, "No, I want Rs. 5,000."
01:01:49 I gave him Rs. 5,000 and saved my life.
01:01:52 My daughters were crying.
01:01:54 I was feeling very bad.
01:01:57 I didn't know what to do.
01:01:59 - I just... - Will you tell me the area?
01:02:02 - Was it a quiet area? - Yes, it was a quiet area.
01:02:06 You didn't complain to the company?
01:02:10 No, I didn't. I was scared.
01:02:12 My father used to tell me not to go alone.
01:02:15 I said, "It's easier. I'll book a car and go."
01:02:18 He said, "Yes."
01:02:19 I didn't tell him that...
01:02:22 - You didn't get permission? - No.
01:02:23 I didn't get permission. Why did you go with my daughters?
01:02:26 Oh, God!
01:02:29 And you gave him Rs. 5,000?
01:02:31 Yes, I paid him Rs. 5,000 to save my life.
01:02:34 You didn't tell anyone else to email him
01:02:40 or send him a complaint?
01:02:41 Because he did this to you.
01:02:43 He'll do the same to so many other women.
01:02:45 He's working for the same company.
01:02:47 No one is going to stop him.
01:02:50 I didn't do anything because I was worried.
01:02:53 I want to ask you both what you should have done
01:02:57 when he asked you to give him Rs. 5,000.
01:02:59 What should you have done?
01:03:01 - She's a poor woman. - I don't know what to say.
01:03:04 It was so quiet.
01:03:06 He saved his life.
01:03:08 His daughters were with him.
01:03:09 He did what he thought was right.
01:03:11 You can't even think of bargaining.
01:03:15 If you had a weapon, a pepper spray
01:03:18 or something that gives you strength and courage
01:03:23 to fight him...
01:03:24 He had a phone but he was so scared to use it.
01:03:28 - His hands would shake. - Exactly.
01:03:31 You couldn't do anything.
01:03:33 You should be proud of yourself
01:03:38 that you didn't let anything happen.
01:03:40 You protected yourself.
01:03:41 You didn't know he could do this.
01:03:43 He saved his life with Rs. 5,000.
01:03:46 He did what he thought was right.
01:03:49 - But again... - Next time.
01:03:52 You shouldn't be scared.
01:03:54 This was a one-off incident.
01:03:58 Not everyone is like that.
01:04:01 There are all kinds of people in the world
01:04:03 but not everyone is the same.
01:04:06 If one person is like that,
01:04:08 it doesn't mean the other person is the same.
01:04:11 My mother used to say something very nice.
01:04:13 She used to say, "We won't let you live in fear of death."
01:04:16 When you have to die,
01:04:19 you won't let go of life.
01:04:22 You won't let go of driving in an accident.
01:04:26 - Exactly. - You won't let anything
01:04:28 - take over you. - Exactly.
01:04:30 - Anything can happen. - I would say
01:04:31 that the only person who survived the PIA air crash
01:04:38 is the person who travels again.
01:04:42 - Exactly. - Right?
01:04:43 He was the only person who survived the PIA air crash.
01:04:48 - Exactly. - He should be so scared.
01:04:50 All the other passengers died.
01:04:55 He was the only one who survived.
01:04:57 But he still travels.
01:04:58 - He travels from wherever he is. - Yes.
01:05:00 It doesn't mean that if you have been in an accident,
01:05:04 you should let go of life.
01:05:05 You have to learn from it.
01:05:07 - Experience teaches you a lot. - Absolutely.
01:05:09 If you have experienced it once,
01:05:12 you should be aware of it.
01:05:14 If you have an accident with a car,
01:05:16 especially if the doors of the car are closed,
01:05:20 if you are scared,
01:05:22 before you enter the car,
01:05:24 there is a child lock on the side.
01:05:26 Child lock is a button on the side.
01:05:31 You can see if the child lock is open or closed.
01:05:35 When the child lock is open,
01:05:39 it is closed when it is closed.
01:05:40 When you open the child lock,
01:05:43 you should see the child lock and put it up.
01:05:45 Then you sit.
01:05:47 - Okay? - Because people who do this,
01:05:50 - they have put a child lock. - Yes.
01:05:52 - You can't even get out. - You can't get out of the car.
01:05:55 This is a very good point.
01:05:57 Nadia told me that in such cars,
01:05:59 - while sitting, it is round. - No, it's a button.
01:06:03 I request my team to take a picture of the child lock from Google.
01:06:10 - I will share it on the screen. - Where the door handle is,
01:06:13 there is a lock inside the door handle.
01:06:16 - You can put it up and down. - It is in every car.
01:06:19 - Whether it is a big or small car. - Yes.
01:06:21 Every car has a child lock.
01:06:22 They close the child lock many times
01:06:25 so that you can't get out or run.
01:06:26 - You can't open the child lock. - Very good. Valid point.
01:06:29 I think it's a very good thing that my mother always said.
01:06:32 If you ever need to take a taxi or cab,
01:06:35 tell everyone to show their face.
01:06:37 Take a picture of it and say on the phone,
01:06:39 "I have sent you the car number and picture.
01:06:41 I am leaving now."
01:06:43 - I am sending you a very good message. - These apps,
01:06:46 when you sit in them,
01:06:47 especially when you sit in an app car,
01:06:52 you can share your location.
01:06:55 You can also send a message, a voice note,
01:07:02 a fake voice note.
01:07:05 "I have shared my location."
01:07:08 - Or the driver's information. - You have to show confidence.
01:07:13 You are not scared or intimidated.
01:07:15 You are a dad.
01:07:16 And as you said,
01:07:19 there was an incident in Islamabad or Lahore.
01:07:21 A girl was sitting in a car from her office.
01:07:24 She was driving.
01:07:26 She was opening the door and putting her luggage.
01:07:28 In the meantime, three people came in her car.
01:07:32 They told her to sit in the next seat.
01:07:37 One person was driving and two people were behind her.
01:07:39 And they made her sit in the front seat.
01:07:41 Her mobile phone had the location open.
01:07:45 She got the phone and got a chance.
01:07:47 She didn't freeze.
01:07:49 She was so confident.
01:07:50 She put her phone under the seat.
01:07:51 The location of the phone was under the seat.
01:07:55 The husband heard that she was in trouble.
01:07:58 The location of the phone was open.
01:08:01 The husband and father followed her.
01:08:03 They reached behind the car.
01:08:05 They kidnapped the girl and were taking her.
01:08:08 They reached there.
01:08:09 They saw two cars behind them.
01:08:12 They were following them.
01:08:13 The boys left the girl and ran away.
01:08:18 And the girl was found.
01:08:21 You have to show confidence.
01:08:25 The girl was confident.
01:08:27 She dialed her husband's mobile phone.
01:08:31 And the location was open.
01:08:32 The same thing happened.
01:08:33 The location was your family.
01:08:34 There are many ways to escape.
01:08:36 When you are confident.
01:08:38 You can show the location.
01:08:41 And the person listening to you is alert.
01:08:44 You can share the driver's information.
01:08:48 You can share the driver's name and phone number.
01:08:50 The app has all the information.
01:08:52 Yes, you can share everything.
01:08:55 That's why I am surprised.
01:08:57 When they booked her through the app.
01:08:59 She can hold her neck.
01:09:01 She must know that she is a girl with a veil.
01:09:03 She is not educated.
01:09:06 She was throwing the pear.
01:09:06 Exactly. She is scared.
01:09:08 She is a girl.
01:09:09 So she took advantage of the situation.
01:09:11 Your body language alone shows your confidence.
01:09:16 That you are confident.
01:09:18 Yes.
01:09:19 So Seher is with us.
01:09:21 Seher, greetings.
01:09:22 Greetings.
01:09:24 Seher, what happened with you?
01:09:25 My story is that I was doing my exams in the university.
01:09:28 So my friends and I decided to study together.
01:09:32 Okay.
01:09:33 So my brother dropped me at my friend's house at 6 pm.
01:09:37 Because it was the nearest house.
01:09:40 So we decided to go to his house.
01:09:42 Okay.
01:09:42 He dropped me there at 6 pm.
01:09:44 We decided to study and be free by 10 pm.
01:09:48 But we were so involved in studies and other things.
01:09:53 So it was 2 pm.
01:09:55 Oh.
01:09:56 I got a call at 2 pm.
01:09:58 Neither my parents nor my brother answered the call.
01:10:02 So I decided to go home through a private cab.
01:10:05 At 2 pm?
01:10:06 Yes.
01:10:07 Oh my God.
01:10:08 Because my friend's house was 15-20 minutes away.
01:10:13 Okay.
01:10:14 So I decided to go home in a cab.
01:10:17 So I took a cab at 2 pm.
01:10:19 Good job. Your friend's mother didn't ask you to stay.
01:10:22 Where is your friend's mother?
01:10:23 I wasn't allowed to stay at home.
01:10:26 I am surprised.
01:10:27 Our parents never leave us.
01:10:30 They ask us to come home at 11 pm.
01:10:33 Yes.
01:10:34 Then?
01:10:35 My family called me after 10 pm.
01:10:38 But I told them that I will come home safely.
01:10:40 I am studying because I have an exam next week.
01:10:42 Okay.
01:10:43 So I got in the cab.
01:10:45 So he was normal with me.
01:10:48 Then he...
01:10:48 You called a cab through an app.
01:10:51 Yes.
01:10:52 And you got in the cab alone at 2 pm.
01:10:55 Yes.
01:10:55 To go home.
01:10:56 Yes.
01:10:56 Okay.
01:10:58 So he was normal with me.
01:11:00 Then he started talking to me.
01:11:02 He showed his involvement.
01:11:04 I ignored him.
01:11:06 Then he started talking to me in a strange way.
01:11:11 I got a little loud at that point.
01:11:13 And I told him not to talk to me like that.
01:11:16 I don't like it.
01:11:17 Yes.
01:11:18 I said so much.
01:11:19 He started shouting at me.
01:11:21 If you talk to me like that, I will take you to a place...
01:11:25 ...from where you will never come back.
01:11:27 Yes.
01:11:28 I couldn't do anything at that point.
01:11:30 Because the road was deserted.
01:11:32 If I had opened the gate and jumped...
01:11:36 ...it would have been useless.
01:11:37 He could have caught me easily.
01:11:39 Anyway, I am the only one who knows...
01:11:42 ...how I passed that 15-20 minute road.
01:11:44 Anyway, as soon as I came home...
01:11:46 ...I threw money at his face.
01:11:48 And I opened the gate and went home.
01:11:50 And you didn't complain about him?
01:11:51 No.
01:11:52 Because at that point...
01:11:52 You are an educated girl.
01:11:53 You won't complain.
01:11:55 I mean, you don't share your house.
01:11:58 I am saying that educated girls...
01:12:02 ...I like it so much that they write it on their page.
01:12:05 That thing goes viral.
01:12:07 Some girls, when they don't know...
01:12:10 ...where they have to complain, they write it on their page.
01:12:15 And many other girls learn from that.
01:12:18 So why didn't you complain to that company?
01:12:22 When the driver of that company...
01:12:25 ...has their name and bio data...
01:12:28 ...you should have taken a screenshot at that time.
01:12:31 Sir, I will say something here.
01:12:33 She herself is saying that her brother dropped her.
01:12:37 So the brother would have picked her up at night.
01:12:39 The father would have picked her up.
01:12:39 No one picked up the phone.
01:12:41 They must have slept.
01:12:42 No, I think that doesn't matter.
01:12:43 I think that if something is wrong...
01:12:47 ...then it should be called wrong.
01:12:48 Here, of course...
01:12:50 Because this is a stupid thing.
01:12:52 You sat in your car at night.
01:12:54 If your family is at home, why didn't you come to pick her up?
01:12:58 So that's really not...
01:12:59 I think that some things happen...
01:13:02 ...that you have to look after your family.
01:13:04 Even if the girl has left...
01:13:07 ...she didn't come home till 2 am.
01:13:10 So it becomes their responsibility.
01:13:13 I will show you the picture of child lock.
01:13:17 I have taken it out from Google.
01:13:19 If you want to see, see this.
01:13:21 How to unlock it.
01:13:23 Like she said, up.
01:13:25 Nadia said, if you do it up, it will be unlocked.
01:13:28 If you do it down, it will be locked.
01:13:30 This is put in the car for the safety of the children.
01:13:32 But if someone has a conspiracy in their mind...
01:13:35 ...like there are some drivers or something...
01:13:37 ...then this thing can happen there too.
01:13:40 Often if you try to open the car...
01:13:42 ...then the door of the car will not open.
01:13:44 So I will show you again.
01:13:45 We are sharing this picture with you.
01:13:47 In almost every car, there is a child lock.
01:13:52 You have to unlock it while sitting in such unknown cars.
01:13:57 By doing this up.
01:13:59 So Nadia gave a very good point.
01:14:02 And with the help of which we showed you the picture.
01:14:04 We are going to a small break.
01:14:06 And after the break, we will give you small tips...
01:14:09 ...that how important it is to make your daughters smart in today's world.
01:14:13 Good morning, Pakistan.
01:14:15 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:14:17 Welcome, welcome back.
01:14:25 Good morning, Pakistan.
01:14:27 In today's program...
01:14:29 ...we got the idea that we are looking at the girls around us.
01:14:33 Even now in this era...
01:14:36 ...I can see scared girls.
01:14:39 And that thing is being transferred from their mothers.
01:14:42 There are many rich families...
01:14:45 ...where women are scared.
01:14:48 Because their upbringing is like this.
01:14:51 And because of them...
01:14:54 ...all their nature is being transferred to their daughters.
01:14:57 And daughters who are being sold to study abroad...
01:15:01 ...who are being married into good families...
01:15:05 ...they are scared like that.
01:15:07 And they can't raise their voice for themselves.
01:15:09 - They are easy victims. - Yes, yes.
01:15:12 So, I feel that...
01:15:15 ...the girls who live in the streets are more confident.
01:15:20 Because they go to work in the bus to earn money.
01:15:23 Instead of that, the girls of rich families...
01:15:27 ...who are scared and have a veil over their head...
01:15:30 ...they are completely suppressed.
01:15:31 - They don't learn survival. - Yes.
01:15:33 So, I say again...
01:15:35 ...that the girls who live in the streets are smarter than them.
01:15:40 Experience teaches you a lot.
01:15:42 And I feel that experience is with you...
01:15:45 ...whether it's good or bad.
01:15:47 So, you should learn from it.
01:15:49 I know a girl...
01:15:51 ...who was brought up by her brothers.
01:15:54 She didn't even know how to cross the road.
01:15:56 Because she was always told not to look there...
01:15:58 ...don't do this, don't do that.
01:15:59 If you are going to college, you are going to drop her.
01:16:01 If you are going to pick her, you are going to drop her.
01:16:03 When she got married, her in-laws used to say...
01:16:06 ...this girl doesn't know how to cross the road.
01:16:09 How will she raise her children?
01:16:10 She was insulted for this.
01:16:13 She got divorced.
01:16:14 She started living alone.
01:16:16 Now, that girl rides a cycle.
01:16:20 That girl rides a cycle and goes through the cars.
01:16:23 The society made her so confident...
01:16:26 ...that she is riding a cycle and someone says, "Hey!"
01:16:30 She turns around and answers, "Look ahead."
01:16:34 Sometimes, your society makes you confident.
01:16:39 Your parents and siblings can't make you confident.
01:16:43 If we conclude this program that we showed people today...
01:16:48 ...what would you say, Sana?
01:16:49 I would say that this is a skill.
01:16:53 The way you teach a child to wear clothes, bathe...
01:16:56 ...wash utensils, this is a skill.
01:16:58 These are all milestones.
01:17:00 This is such an important skill.
01:17:03 Ask your child questions.
01:17:05 Start with a small child.
01:17:07 Ask him what will happen if this happens.
01:17:10 Nothing is happening but you are preparing him for life.
01:17:13 It's a life skill.
01:17:15 Self-protection is very important.
01:17:18 It's the key.
01:17:19 Our brain is designed to detect and protect fear.
01:17:23 First, teach your children self-protection from a very young age.
01:17:28 If a utensil breaks, bring a dustpan or brush...
01:17:32 ...and teach him to pick it up and put it in the dustbin.
01:17:35 Don't scare him.
01:17:37 You should tell your maid to pick it up.
01:17:39 Exactly. We practice this.
01:17:40 Teach them.
01:17:42 You should teach them how to survive the dangers.
01:17:48 Perfection comes from practice.
01:17:50 They will get their share of life.
01:17:54 But you should learn from them.
01:17:56 A person has to bear the burden of his life.
01:18:00 How long will the parents live?
01:18:02 How long will they raise him?
01:18:07 Nadia, what do you say?
01:18:09 If you are putting all your efforts to raise your daughters...
01:18:15 ...what approach are you taking?
01:18:17 I want to gain your personal experience.
01:18:20 I have always said that communication is extremely important.
01:18:25 Communication between parents and children.
01:18:30 You should never blame the victim.
01:18:33 You should never blame the victim.
01:18:38 You should never blame the victim, even if it is your child.
01:18:45 I have heard and experienced many such cases.
01:18:50 There are people who have shared their experiences with me.
01:18:53 If they have told their parents that something like this happened to them...
01:18:58 ...the parents would have blamed the children.
01:19:03 They would have blamed them.
01:19:05 In homes, you always blame the victim.
01:19:10 If a girl crosses the street and a boy says something to her...
01:19:15 ...you should have confidence that you are not wrong.
01:19:19 You should tell your parents or your brother or the neighbours.
01:19:26 You should not be afraid.
01:19:29 You should raise your voice and communicate.
01:19:33 Communication is the key.
01:19:35 When you communicate, you automatically gain confidence...
01:19:42 ...that what happened to me was wrong.
01:19:44 You should not blame yourself.
01:19:47 This was our show for today.
01:19:49 Before we end the show, let me tell you...
01:19:52 ...that we have started a new phobia of cricket.
01:19:57 Thank God, we have started the show again.
01:20:01 HBL PSL Season 9 has started as you know.
01:20:06 Karachi Kings is playing in it.
01:20:10 We are with Karachi Kings.
01:20:11 But I would like to take the name of other sponsors.
01:20:16 Karachi Kings has ARY Laguna DHA City, Karachi.
01:20:20 ARY Laguna DHA Gujranwala.
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01:20:47 YOLO, Spot Watch Partner.
01:20:50 Rose Petal and Maxib Hygiene Partner.
01:20:54 So this was our show for today.
01:20:56 I hope you have gained something from this panel...
01:20:58 ...or from the experiences of the girls and girls present here.
01:21:07 You must have learnt something.
01:21:09 So make your daughters strong and smart.
01:21:12 Because these days are not the time to live in fear.
01:21:16 If you want them to be successful, make them smart.
01:21:19 Sewing, cooking and more important than cooking is important.
01:21:23 Good morning Pakistan and Khuda Hafiz.
01:21:25 [MUSIC]
01:21:30 Experience the excitement live.
01:21:32 Catch every thrilling moment of PSL 9 live on A-Sports.
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