00:00 I've been married four times now.
00:05 I used to be terrified to be alone.
00:07 I didn't know what I was going to do by myself.
00:09 I have decided to tell my story
00:12 that I've never shared with anybody in the world.
00:15 Action.
00:17 I loved you so much, but that messed me up.
00:23 I'm sure people watching from the outside were like,
00:26 "What is this girl's problem?"
00:30 What I portrayed to the world was,
00:33 "Oh, this didn't work out, and it's fine,
00:36 and I'm good, and they're good."
00:39 And all of that was kind of bullshit.
00:42 It's a 20-year project,
00:44 and it became a three-part musical experience.
00:47 "This Is Me Now" is about facing the truth
00:50 of who you really are.
00:52 You look amazing.
00:53 You know, I look like a psychiatrist.
00:55 [laughs]
00:56 ♪ Blessings can blossom from a broken child ♪
00:58 My husband says to me, "Why are you so stressed lately?"
01:00 I said, "I'm not just financing it.
01:02 I'm writing it, dancing in it, singing in it."
01:04 My God.
01:07 What am I doing?
01:10 Feel like you're not good enough.
01:12 You're not good enough as a partner,
01:15 as a mother, as all the things.
01:18 It takes courage to share your truths.
01:21 And I know it could end disastrously.
01:24 Nobody figures out anything
01:26 when everything's all hunky-dory and rosy.
01:29 You figure shit out when shit is hard.
01:33 ♪
01:35 I forget how much older I am than everybody now.
01:39 You live and learn. Let me say this to you.
01:42 The prize for aging is wisdom.
01:46 ♪
01:48 I don't know. I don't understand it.
01:49 I just--nobody does.
01:51 I don't need to do any of it.
01:55 But I want to.
01:58 Here we go.
02:00 I'm scared.
02:01 You don't look like it, though.
02:02 ♪
02:05 I don't act like I'm scared,
02:06 but that's the secret to my whole career.
02:09 [laughs]
02:11 ♪
02:13 ♪
02:18 (whooshing)
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