00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05 I came from an island, and it was a beautiful island.
00:09 So gorgeous, absolutely riddled with snakes.
00:13 These snakes would get incredibly horny, because
00:15 there were so many of them.
00:17 Have you ever seen a snake with an erection?
00:20 It looks like a two-headed snake.
00:22 I was a throat singer on the island, which
00:26 was a very common job.
00:28 One night, I was just singing to the snakes, just my usual
00:32 la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
00:36 And then one of them just came wriggling up to me, and then
00:39 just very quick, bit me very hard on the neck.
00:42 Turns out she was a vampire, and she made me a vampire.
00:45 And then I got to chase off the island by my family and
00:49 the villagers and the snakes.
00:52 And that really, really stung.
00:55 I miss those arseholes.
00:57 [MUSIC PLAYING]
Comments