Comedian’s Comedian Podcast host and ‘expert stand-up’ (Times) Goldsmith now commits to the bit. This year: second | dG1fZWlMTkt2RFJBVWc
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 The French are very cruel.
00:02 (audience laughing)
00:05 That's the end of that bit.
00:07 (audience laughing)
00:08 They seem satisfied.
00:09 (audience laughing)
00:10 No, I think in terms of when it comes to cuisine,
00:12 the average French chef would love to,
00:15 it's almost like the more they torture the animal,
00:17 the more pain it suffers,
00:18 the more rich and complex the flavor.
00:20 Your basic French chef would love to take like,
00:22 we take a single frog, you know,
00:24 and then we break his heart very slowly.
00:28 Over many months, his wife,
00:30 she leave him because of evidence
00:32 that we have planted in his lily pad.
00:34 (audience laughing)
00:35 Oh, his heart did break, a very sad time for him.
00:37 And then he is sent to prison for a crime
00:39 he cannot possibly have committed.
00:41 A little froggy hand would not fit in the gloves,
00:43 the fingers are webbed, but no matter.
00:45 (audience laughing)
00:46 He is sentenced to life in prison
00:48 and forced to watch through the bars
00:50 as all of his tadpoles but one are smashed in a canvas sack.
00:54 (audience laughing)
00:55 Then he must languish for four years
00:58 in garlic and a little butter.
01:00 (audience laughing)
01:01 Then we stage a breakout.
01:03 The little frog is free, or so he think.
01:05 He drive away in a small red car.
01:07 (speaking in French)
01:08 (audience laughing)
01:09 He starts then to rebuild his life, you know.
01:12 He meet a beautiful young lady frog,
01:14 they consummate the relationship,
01:15 very passionate, very sexy time,
01:17 and then a great deception is revealed.
01:19 The lady frog is his own tadpole from earlier on.
01:23 "No," he say, "why you do this to me?"
01:26 Incestor relationship very much frowned upon,
01:28 even though la communite amfe bien.
01:30 (audience laughing)
01:31 Then his heart did break a second time,
01:33 consumed with passion and grief and madness.
01:36 He climbed to the top of Notre Dame Cathedral.
01:38 He hurled himself from the parapet into a pastry case.
01:41 It is mwah.
01:42 (audience laughing)
01:43 (audience applauding)
01:49 For tour dates, news, updates, whatever they are,
01:52 and the latest episodes of the Comedians Comedian podcast,
01:55 go to stuartgoldsmith.com.
01:57 (upbeat music)
02:02 (upbeat music)
02:07 [BLANK_AUDIO]