The Family Cell - Biblical Principles & the Structure of Family - Ed Young
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00:00 What happens though is our commitments
00:03 pack man our priorities.
00:06 And many times we're over committed,
00:08 over stimulated and over the top.
00:11 So we need to have instead of commitments,
00:13 and I made this word up, quit-it-ments.
00:16 We need to quit some of the commitments
00:19 that are taking away from the hierarchy
00:23 of the family self.
00:25 (upbeat music)
00:26 (audience applauding)
00:30 We're regenerating 330 billion cells a day.
00:35 I'm talking about you and me.
00:39 330 billion new cells every day.
00:43 If you're a mathematician, that's 3.8 million per second.
00:50 So to sit there and say, I'm at rest.
00:56 Or I'm just chilling like a villain.
00:59 No, no, no, we're producing stuff, aren't we?
01:02 We're making cells.
01:06 Some cells, science will tell us, are good cells.
01:10 We replicate those, and that's good.
01:13 (audience applauding)
01:15 Let's give it up, yeah, for the good cells.
01:18 Some cells are bad, and we multiply the bad cells as well.
01:23 And that's not so good.
01:26 However, here's some good news.
01:28 Through lifestyle changes, diet, exercise,
01:33 we can change bad cells into good cells.
01:38 God looked at the first family in Genesis 1, verse 28,
01:44 and he said these words, "Be fruitful and multiply."
01:49 Now obviously, that was talking about the family.
01:53 It was talking about cranking out kids and all of that.
01:57 But on a cellular level, that was also taking place,
02:01 wasn't it?
02:02 The cell.
02:05 Let me ask you a question just straight up.
02:09 What in the cell is going on?
02:12 Because we've been learning that the cell
02:18 is the building block for our world,
02:22 and the family cell is the building block
02:28 for everything.
02:29 God thought it up.
02:30 It was his idea.
02:32 There's a friend of mine that I've known for many years
02:38 who is a vital part of Fellowship Church named Justin.
02:43 His father passed away this past week.
02:50 In fact, we conducted his funeral.
02:54 His father had a nickname, Bad Bob.
02:58 I mean, he was a straight up bad guy.
03:02 Womanizer, dope, alcoholic, gambler, just not a good guy.
03:08 And Justin would tell me stories about Bad Bob,
03:17 and I was like, "That's your father?
03:20 "You grew up with that?"
03:23 He was like, "Yeah."
03:25 And one day I said, "Well, is your father, Bad Bob,
03:31 "open to like spiritual things?"
03:34 And Justin was like, "No way."
03:37 I mean, we've begged him to come to Fellowship Church.
03:40 We've talked to him.
03:42 Get out of my face.
03:45 It's interesting that Justin told me
03:51 that he was going along the same path as his father,
03:55 Bad Bob, because Bad Bob's family cell multiplied,
04:00 maybe you call it a mutation,
04:05 and Justin was doing the same stuff
04:08 until someone invited him to Fellowship.
04:13 The power of an invite.
04:18 And once that happened, Justin began to kick tires
04:22 and test the waters.
04:24 He surrendered his life, the nucleus of his life, to Jesus.
04:31 And instantaneously, a bad cell became a good cell.
04:36 We're made to live with Jesus as our nucleus.
04:47 - That's right.
04:48 - So then as Justin began to grow,
04:51 he met a beautiful young woman here at Fellowship.
04:54 I think the best place to meet someone is at church.
04:58 They were married, and they have now a boy and a girl.
05:05 They're an amazing family.
05:11 Not perfect.
05:14 No one here is perfect.
05:16 But they're a great family.
05:18 How in the world did someone come from a bad cell like that,
05:25 from Bad Bob being your dad, to where Justin is today?
05:31 But Bad Bob is gone.
05:37 He died.
05:39 A family cell.
05:46 What's your cell like?
05:48 I mean, what was your family of origin like,
05:54 your family cell?
05:55 Do you have a picture of that?
05:57 How about today, if you had to say,
06:01 "Okay, here's my family cell."
06:05 How's the nucleus, how's the cytoplasm,
06:07 how's the cell membrane?
06:08 Because we've learned that the nucleus controls the cell.
06:15 We're made for God to control our lives.
06:17 The cytoplasm holds everything together,
06:22 and I would argue, theologically speaking,
06:25 that would be the church,
06:26 because we're a part of the body of Christ,
06:31 just as our 30 trillion cells work together for one purpose,
06:36 we come together as the body of Christ for one purpose.
06:42 The cellular membrane protects the cell.
06:46 It lets the good stuff in and the bad stuff out.
06:50 So that's the hierarchy, the order, if you will,
06:56 of a family, and the great news is,
06:58 no matter what kind of cell you came from,
07:03 regeneration, multiplication can take place.
07:10 And that's a great thing to think about.
07:12 I'm gonna challenge you to draw.
07:15 A lot of us have forgotten how to draw,
07:18 because everything's about technology and the keyboard,
07:21 but you can draw.
07:23 Later, I'm gonna write in cursive,
07:26 and young people, cursive is like a cool way to print.
07:31 I'm not writing in hieroglyphics, no, no, no, it's cursive.
07:37 So see this family cell, take this,
07:39 and this is for you to take with you.
07:42 We're gonna use this as a template, a guide for the family,
07:47 because again, God formed the family to glorify him.
07:53 I mean, that's God's thought, that's his genius.
08:01 It was his idea.
08:04 So draw a circle and label it nucleus
08:07 around Ephesians chapter six, verse one.
08:11 See how I drew mine?
08:13 And I've highlighted five words.
08:16 Children, say that with me.
08:18 I like the word kids,
08:21 keeping intimacy at a distance successfully.
08:24 Oh, you know I'm right.
08:29 Children, obviously they're a gift from God.
08:33 Obey, say obey with me.
08:36 That's the key to the Christian life, and kids,
08:40 that's the key to being the kind of kid
08:43 that God wants you to be.
08:44 Parents, parents, it's mom and dad.
08:52 I'm gonna argue from God's perspective
08:57 that your marriage is more important
09:01 than being a father or mother.
09:04 How about that one?
09:05 Our culture won't say that.
09:09 Our culture says, it's about the kids.
09:13 Our culture says we only need mom and dad
09:16 basically for reproduction.
09:18 I mean, we can use the government, education,
09:20 we can use all sorts of entities to rear the family,
09:25 but we've seen that experimentation since 1960.
09:29 And as Dr. Phil would say,
09:34 "How's that working for you?"
09:35 I've got a Dr. Phil story.
09:39 Whenever I tell this story, people don't believe it.
09:43 Dr. Phil joined our church in the early '90s.
09:46 He and his wife, Robin.
09:47 And somehow, one of our volunteers called Dr. Phil.
09:53 "Dr. Phil," he said,
09:58 "would you be a part of our parking crew?"
10:02 My hand lifted up.
10:03 Almost lifted the left hand.
10:05 My hand lifted up.
10:06 I drove in, we were in rented facilities at the time,
10:08 and our parking crew,
10:10 we used to have these little cheap polyester vests
10:13 they would all wear, you know?
10:15 And I look and I see this hulking guy.
10:17 Dr. Phil in our parking crew.
10:24 Somebody slapped somebody.
10:27 (congregation applauding)
10:29 That's amazing, come on!
10:30 How's that working for you?
10:35 Anyway, we have to ask ourselves that question, don't we?
10:37 So our nucleus is controlled by God.
10:44 God, marriage, parents, kids.
10:48 It's enveloped by God.
10:50 Obedience is the key.
10:53 Honor is the key in the family.
10:57 Now we draw another circle.
10:58 The cytoplasm.
11:01 That's a bigger circle, friends, boys and girls.
11:04 The cytoplasm incorporates Ephesians chapter five,
11:09 verse 30.
11:13 For we are what?
11:16 Members, whoa, of his body.
11:21 We're members of the body of Christ.
11:23 We're adopted into the family of God, we're members.
11:27 I find it interesting that throughout the Bible,
11:30 God compares his love for his children
11:35 and he compares just the whole love dynamic to a marriage.
11:40 Not a mother or father.
11:45 No, marriage.
11:47 That's the template.
11:49 So you have the bridegroom Jesus,
11:52 the bride, the church.
11:54 We're born again into the family of God.
11:58 We're adopted, we're children of God.
12:02 I'm gonna argue this is the church.
12:05 We're to be members of the church.
12:08 You know, I have some funny conversations with people.
12:10 I wish I could tell you all of them just during the week.
12:13 What people say to me, you wouldn't believe it.
12:15 You really wouldn't.
12:16 Now and then people, well, you know,
12:18 I might say hi, whatever, I'm in a restaurant,
12:20 coffee shop or whatever and hey, how you doing?
12:23 Good, good, good.
12:24 You know, you talk about A, B and C
12:26 and inevitably this comes up.
12:27 They'll go, well, what do you do for a living?
12:29 I say, you know, you probably aren't gonna believe this.
12:34 They go, try me.
12:35 I'm a pastor.
12:38 And a lot of times people are waiting for the punchline.
12:42 And then I can see them push the rewind.
12:46 Oh, did I say any bad words?
12:50 Did I throw out any F-bombs?
12:51 And sometimes they'll start apologizing.
12:54 Hey man, I didn't, no, I'm sorry.
12:56 I said, hey, don't apologize to me.
12:58 Apologize to him.
12:59 Anyway, so.
13:00 They will say to me like, a lot of them,
13:07 oh, I'm a Christian.
13:09 I go, that's great, man.
13:12 That's awesome.
13:13 My next question, tell me about your church.
13:19 Screen saver.
13:20 Then I try to help them out.
13:24 Now, where do you go to church?
13:26 What's the name of that church?
13:32 If they're with their wife,
13:35 honey, what's the name of their church?
13:37 You know, I've got to wonder how authentic,
13:41 how real their faith is.
13:43 I mean, that would be like me saying,
13:45 I coach in the NFL.
13:48 You know what?
13:49 You might be going, well, okay.
13:54 What team?
13:55 No, you got it wrong.
13:56 I just coach in the NFL.
14:00 At large.
14:02 So, I want you to join Fellowship Church.
14:11 I do.
14:12 If you're not a member, we need you.
14:14 I mean, we're not complete without you.
14:17 You have gifts and abilities that are unique.
14:21 Membership has its privileges.
14:22 So, join the church.
14:26 Then we have the cell membrane.
14:29 Boys and girls, we're drawing,
14:30 we're having such a wonderful time at church.
14:32 We're coloring.
14:33 Cell membrane, right?
14:36 That is, we live not as unwise,
14:40 be careful, it says, how you live,
14:42 not as unwise, I mean, don't be an Igmo, right?
14:46 But as wise.
14:47 What is wisdom?
14:50 It's the application of knowledge.
14:52 Knowledge is not wisdom.
14:54 Don't we know so many smart people,
14:57 but it's like, do they have any common sense?
15:00 Do they?
15:02 Here all of our politicians are supposed
15:05 to be so brilliant and smart,
15:07 and we're giving $6 billion to terrorists
15:10 who want to kill us and do away?
15:17 With who we are?
15:18 You gotta be kidding me.
15:21 Obama sending a pallet of multi-billions over to terrorists?
15:27 I mean, he's supposed to be Mr. Smart Guy.
15:31 What?
15:32 Oh, he's smart.
15:33 He's just, he's not wise.
15:38 Zero wisdom.
15:39 And without God, you're not gonna have wisdom.
15:45 I can't wait for the comments.
15:46 I cannot wait.
15:49 Not as unwise, but as wise,
15:53 making the most of every single opportunity.
15:57 How do we do that?
15:58 What do we let in the cell,
16:00 and what do we let out of the cell?
16:02 Now I'm gonna draw.
16:04 I know you were hoping I was gonna draw.
16:06 Here we go.
16:07 Here's the family.
16:08 There's dad, all right?
16:11 There's mommy.
16:14 There are little kids.
16:15 And et cetera.
16:20 It could be a blended family,
16:22 it could be a single parent family.
16:24 You get it.
16:24 You know I used to pronounce et cetera wrong.
16:27 I did it for my whole life.
16:28 I called it et cetera.
16:30 Let me tell you what happened.
16:32 On one of the books I wrote,
16:33 I was doing some kind of a recording,
16:35 and this voice guy was with me
16:37 trying to help me articulate the words,
16:38 and I was reading, and I go, et cetera.
16:40 He goes, excuse me, Pastor Young.
16:42 I said, you can call me Ed.
16:44 You're mispronouncing that.
16:45 It is et cetera.
16:48 Okay, so now I know how to pronounce it.
16:52 This is the nucleus, and we know the nucleus, right?
16:58 The hierarchy, we got God, we got marriage,
17:00 we got parenting, we got kids,
17:03 keeping intimacy and distance successfully,
17:05 and we got the flow going.
17:07 We bow to the Lord.
17:10 God runs the show.
17:12 It controls it.
17:13 It's our DNA.
17:15 It's God's way.
17:15 The next little circle
17:20 is the old cytoplasm,
17:24 and you could do the cytoplasm in a way,
17:27 I mean, if I was being creative,
17:28 let me try to be like a church.
17:31 See that?
17:32 That's a church.
17:33 Outside of this, let me have another color,
17:40 you've got that beautiful cell membrane.
17:45 The cell membrane is letting good stuff in,
17:52 bad stuff out.
17:54 So this family is here, and you got the church, okay?
18:06 And then you've got, oh, activities, don't you?
18:11 Activities, A-C-T.
18:15 You've got sports.
18:18 Woo!
18:19 I love sports.
18:21 Don't you?
18:23 You've got travel.
18:29 Let's take a trip.
18:31 Let's go somewhere.
18:35 You've got business, or as we say here in Texas,
18:39 business.
18:40 Et cetera.
18:45 Business, travel, sports, activities,
18:52 anything else you would throw out?
18:55 Just, what's, you know, all sorts of stuff.
19:01 So a cytoplasm, if it's functioning right,
19:06 is going to let these things in,
19:11 but the cytoplasm is going to make sure
19:18 they underscore and highlight God's priorities.
19:28 What are God's priorities?
19:30 Very simple, God, marriage, family, church.
19:35 God, marriage, family, church, that's it.
19:44 So we don't have to worry about our priorities.
19:47 They're already set.
19:49 We just put our cell on top of God's cell and let it go.
19:53 But it's easier said than done.
19:56 I mean, the family's not easy.
19:59 It's messy, it's not perfect science.
20:03 You have all of these issues going on.
20:05 Lisa and I have had to fight to keep our marriage
20:10 at the forefront, and obviously sometimes
20:13 you have to put the kids over the marriage.
20:15 I think you understand that, but we fought to do that.
20:20 And it goes back to priorities.
20:24 It goes back to the date night.
20:27 It goes back to saying no because of a bigger yes.
20:31 It goes back to those commitments,
20:34 and let me throw out a word I just made up.
20:36 It goes back to quit-it-ments.
20:39 Some of us have to quit some things that we've committed to
20:46 because our commitments can Pac-Man God's priorities.
20:54 And the enemy uses good stuff to mess us up.
20:59 Okay, let me pick on sports.
21:03 I love sports.
21:04 I've played sports.
21:05 Think about this thing called club sports.
21:11 Today, if you want to be good,
21:15 you have to pretty much work out like a professional athlete.
21:19 And I'm not against club sports.
21:22 I mean, pick one sport and go with it.
21:25 However, parents, there is a time cost.
21:28 There is a cost-cost.
21:32 There is a marriage cost, a family cost to it.
21:38 Once you say yes, once you take the bait of club sports,
21:46 whether it's gymnastics or whatever you want to say,
21:49 dance or whatever, cheerleading,
21:51 once you take that bait, the hooks will get in you.
21:56 And I've seen family after family after family,
21:58 well-meaning families, functioning families,
22:03 all of a sudden, they allow that virus
22:08 to adhere to the cellular wall
22:13 and the cytoplasm is here, and that's the church,
22:18 and the cell membrane is there,
22:20 and it disguises itself, and that's what a virus does,
22:24 and the cell membrane lets it in,
22:27 and all of a sudden, you've got problems.
22:31 Now, this is good.
22:33 Sports are good.
22:34 I'll never forget, we took the bait with our twins
22:41 with some of this activity.
22:44 We kind of started ODing on sports,
22:47 and I was taking Laurie and Landra back home,
22:51 and I was in the car, they're in the back seat.
22:55 It was after a two-hour basketball practice,
22:58 and here's what Landra told me.
23:00 Hey, Dad, 'cause I was asking them questions
23:03 about the way they were playing,
23:05 and I said, you girls have to practice.
23:07 You can't just show up,
23:08 and the only time you practice is here.
23:11 Dad, I said, yeah, you're just trying
23:15 to live your life through us.
23:17 I pulled over and turned around, I go,
23:23 I know you're joking.
23:26 I said, I was 10 times better than you when I was 15.
23:30 I said, I had 30 letters from major colleges
23:35 when I was a sophomore in high school.
23:37 No, I'm not trying to live my life through you.
23:40 I'm trying to tell you, if you're not fully invested,
23:45 why are we doing this?
23:46 And at the end of that season, we made a tough call.
23:52 So see, your sports team, when your world is caving in,
23:56 your club team, they're not gonna support you.
23:58 They're not gonna pray for you.
23:59 They're not gonna come alongside you
24:01 because they say it's about family.
24:03 I'm gonna argue it's anti-family.
24:06 Read the data on club sports.
24:11 So what I would tell you to do
24:14 is if you have a genetic freak on your hand
24:17 who truly loves the game, pick a sport.
24:20 But you have to say no to a lot of commitments.
24:26 You've got to have some quit it much in your life
24:31 if you're going to glorify God
24:33 because the family was made as a unit designed by God
24:36 to glorify God.
24:38 God's the owner.
24:44 Mom and dad, dad, you're the CEO.
24:47 Mom, you're the president.
24:51 Kids, you're the employees.
24:54 You're valuable.
24:58 But you are, see, it's equal in form.
25:03 I'll say this again, unique in function.
25:05 But here's what dads do.
25:07 We're scared of the leadership.
25:09 And when we run from the leadership,
25:13 we escape to the golf course,
25:15 we escape to the office,
25:16 we escape and have all of these
25:18 extracurricular activities ourselves.
25:20 What does the president do to the woman?
25:24 Boom, she picks up the leadership mantle.
25:26 That's why the enemy is after the fathers.
25:30 The father is the glue.
25:34 I mean, obviously the mom is.
25:35 Moms are much more talented than dads.
25:37 But I'm just saying to you,
25:38 fathers have to step up and lead.
25:42 And I die laughing.
25:43 We think we're so masculine and so hard.
25:46 We listen to the David Goggins podcast
25:49 and the Jocko podcast and Joe Rogan
25:53 and we have tats and take testosterone and lift.
25:57 Are you really leading?
26:02 That ain't leading.
26:04 Those cats are not gonna tell you
26:08 to love your wife like Christ loved the church.
26:11 They're not gonna tell you
26:12 to introduce your kids to Christ.
26:15 They're not gonna tell you the importance
26:17 of the local church.
26:18 Do they say some good stuff?
26:19 Yeah, oh yeah.
26:22 But it's not the best.
26:23 Who's running the show?
26:27 Because here's what our culture does.
26:30 Our culture, we come in and we go,
26:33 no, no, no, this is not the nucleus.
26:36 Let me do another color.
26:39 This is the nucleus.
26:42 Our kids.
26:44 Oh no, no, this is not the cytoplasm.
26:47 Forget that.
26:48 We'll put church out here as just another option.
26:53 And you see where we are.
26:59 Tens of thousands of kids and families
27:02 are on soccer fields right now.
27:04 They're in gymnasiums right now.
27:05 They're on football fields right now.
27:08 Oh, oh, oh, the devil is brilliant.
27:10 Those are good things.
27:13 They're not all bad.
27:14 But who's running the show?
27:17 Is it God?
27:18 Joshua said, "As for me and my house,
27:21 "I and we are gonna serve the Lord."
27:24 God runs the show.
27:26 Dad, you're the CEO.
27:29 Mom, you're the president.
27:30 Kids, you're employees.
27:35 And within this, you keep the marriage
27:37 as the main thing.
27:38 I wrote a book several years ago called "Kid CEO,"
27:43 how to fire your kids and move them
27:45 out of the corner office.
27:46 Our daughter, Lee Beth, who passed away several years ago,
27:52 had a great sense of humor.
27:53 And she sent me an excerpt from a reality show
27:58 that really hurt my feelings.
28:01 She loved the reality show
28:05 Little People, Big World.
28:08 Is that what it's called?
28:10 She loved it.
28:11 Well, I'm gonna show you what she sent me.
28:14 - This place is a pigsty that we live in.
28:18 Put these somewhere.
28:19 Throw that away.
28:20 If you don't want the hat, throw it away.
28:22 That clutter is for the TV area.
28:23 Can we store that somewhere else?
28:26 This googly-hoo over here.
28:27 These books over here, you're gonna read 'em,
28:30 and let's just toss 'em away if you're not going to.
28:32 - I haven't read a book.
28:34 (whistle blows)
28:36 - Since I was in kindergarten.
28:39 - That's my book!
28:40 They're throwing away my book!
28:45 Lee Beth's laughing in heaven right now.
29:00 But don't throw away God's book
29:05 and God's order of the family.
29:09 That's what I'm saying.
29:10 So three quick applications.
29:14 Number one, hone in on homeostasis.
29:17 What's homeostasis?
29:19 Balance.
29:20 Homeostasis would be 98.6.
29:22 How in the world our bodies have that?
29:24 That's our average temperature.
29:26 Who knows?
29:27 Only God does.
29:28 But balance is the key.
29:30 And balance happens because God's a God of order
29:33 when we do life His way.
29:35 Also, welcome mitosis.
29:39 You're gonna divide.
29:40 You're gonna multiply.
29:42 It's part of it.
29:43 Teaching and training your kids to love,
29:49 to learn, and to leave.
29:56 I just gave you the definition of parenting.
29:58 Spouses stay.
30:03 I'll say it again.
30:04 Kids leave.
30:05 Put your cell over God's cell.
30:09 A cell is not meant to do life by itself
30:14 like the extracellular matrix we talked about.
30:18 It's a foundation for cell growth and cell life.
30:22 This place is a foundation for growth and life.
30:26 - That's good.
30:27 - As I told you,
30:30 bad Bob passed away just days ago.
30:36 We had his funeral here.
30:39 When bad Bob was on his deathbed,
30:46 one of Justin's kids shared the gospel with him.
30:54 Justin's son said, "Granddad, I wanna see you in heaven.
30:59 "I wanna spend eternity with you."
31:03 And because of that conversation,
31:07 another family in our church was able to lead bad Bob
31:13 into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
31:20 (congregation applauding)
31:25 As time was melting off the clock,
31:28 he made that decision.
31:31 Have you made that decision?
31:36 Who is running the nucleus of your life?
31:44 Who is running your family?
31:48 Because I've gotta ask you,
31:54 one last question.
31:55 What in the cell is going on?
32:00 Fathers, thank you for this message that I need to hear
32:05 and all of us need to hear.
32:06 I thank you for your family.
32:08 I thank you, Lord, for the brilliance of it.
32:15 If you find yourself here,
32:18 if you find yourself in Dallas or Fort Worth or Frisco,
32:22 if you find yourself online somewhere,
32:26 if you find yourself at a Lasso Ranch,
32:30 if you find yourself on the back seat of the balcony,
32:34 God can perform a supernatural work if you'll let Him.
32:39 Just say, "Jesus, I give my life to you.
32:41 "I admit to you I'm a sinner.
32:42 "I turn from my sins and turn to you."
32:44 God's just using my words.
32:50 I'm not saving anybody.
32:52 God does that.
32:54 There are blocks of us here that need to make
32:57 some serious family decisions about priorities,
33:01 about commitments, about what we say yes to
33:04 and what we say no to, and I pray that this template,
33:08 that this cell will be at the forefront of our minds
33:13 as we do this.
33:15 So Lord Jesus, we give this time to you.
33:22 Hi guys, thank you so much for watching
33:24 the Ed Young YouTube channel.
33:26 That's right, and if you wanna be inspired, encouraged,
33:28 and challenged like never before,
33:30 subscribe and click the notification button.
33:32 We believe this channel can help change your life.
33:35 (upbeat music)
33:37 [MUSIC PLAYING]
33:40 (upbeat music)