Saleem Albela Ban Kay Ageye Salvador Dalí, dekhiye masti say bhari video

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Saleem Albela Ban Kay Ageye Salvador Dalí

Transcript

00:00 Now, our segment is Time Machine.

00:02 Oh! - Time Machine!

00:04 This is my favourite segment.

00:06 Sir, please call a bachelor today.

00:09 I want to see a boy for Arzu.

00:12 Look, if a boy comes from Time Machine

00:14 then on his return, he will take her back with him.

00:18 Yes, do it like this.

00:19 Arzu was supposed to come late.

00:21 She went home and washed her face.

00:23 Okay, let's come to Time Machine. - Let's go.

00:28 The person I want to call today

00:30 is the one you must have seen in the season 'Money Heist'.

00:34 Everyone is wearing a mask in that. - Yes.

00:37 He was a person, an artist, a painter

00:42 who was very prolific and famous. - Yes.

00:47 And the more prolific he was, the more paintings he had

00:51 around 1500. - Wow!

00:53 He was famous and a celebrity as well.

00:57 He was a man of Madari. His name was Salvador Dali.

01:00 Yes. - First say, 'Dali'.

01:02 Yes, so let's call him.

01:03 Mr. Arun, tell me something. - Yes.

01:06 Why do you call people from Time Machine

01:08 and then start talking in Urdu or Punjabi?

01:11 Because they come from Faisalabad. - Exactly.

01:14 They come from there. - Okay.

01:15 Faisalabad is a place where you have to buy clothes.

01:18 So, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you

01:22 Mr. Salvador Dali.

01:26 Wow!

01:27 Wow! You called him and he has brought his son as well.

01:36 Welcome to my show.

01:39 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

01:42 Hey, you sing.

01:44 No, he is speaking in Spanish.

01:45 So, he is greeting you.

01:47 Oh, I see. He is saying, 'Thank you'.

01:50 I want to say to him,

01:53 'Go, bull. Go, bull. Go back, bull.'

01:56 Remove your mask. Show me your face.

02:00 Let me see you.

02:01 Hey, you! - Wow!

02:04 Sir, he looks so handsome.

02:06 Mr. Arun, spray the machine. There are insects inside.

02:10 You have called him from the circus.

02:13 What has he brought with him?

02:14 His name is Peacock.

02:16 Ant eater.

02:17 He is an animal that eats insects.

02:19 Yes, Peacock.

02:19 There is a song about him. - Yes.

02:21 "Peacock, Peacock, Peacock."

02:25 Dali, think about yourself. You are a great painter.

02:28 Sir, does he eat insects? - Yes.

02:30 I think he didn't drink tea.

02:33 Okay, bring a chair for Dali.

02:37 Let him know about me.

02:38 Come, have a seat. - Sit.

02:41 And welcome to the show.

02:42 His moustache is perfect.

02:45 He was very particular about them.

02:48 The interesting thing about him is that

02:50 he didn't paint things that are common in life.

02:52 Okay.

02:53 He was influenced by Sigmund Freud.

02:55 He was a man who used to say that

02:58 your subconscious mind.. - Yes.

03:00 ..which is a subconscious mind, you can control it..

03:03 ..with your conscious mind.

03:05 He liked this. So, he used to paint his dreams.

03:10 I used to paint my dreams.

03:12 It means he was a decent man.

03:16 She is going to understand this, but she is right.

03:19 Actually, you were right about his paintings

03:21 that he didn't understand.

03:22 He was your own moustache. Why didn't you call me?

03:29 Okay, his wife, Gala.

03:31 Gala was very old.

03:33 She had a very big beard. - Exactly.

03:36 I thought it was your beard.

03:38 She had a lot of hair. - A lot.

03:42 Was she very old? - Older than him.

03:44 I mean, he married her after raising her.

03:45 What?

03:46 He didn't learn to eat properly.

03:49 He was a very good man. - Yes.

03:53 Now you regret that you didn't marry her.

03:55 He was so down to earth

04:00 that whenever he used to paint, he used to get tired.

04:03 Yes. - He used to get tired and sit.

04:05 His students used to tell him to call Gala.

04:08 She used to come and abuse him.

04:10 She used to push him and insult him.

04:13 She used to insult him so much that he used to lie on the floor

04:16 and start crying like a child.

04:19 And when she left, he used to say, "How are you?"

04:22 Why?

04:24 The reason is that he used to say, "She invoked my muse."

04:28 Poets, writers, artists

04:30 need some inspiration. Otherwise, they don't get poetry.

04:34 Exactly. - Once, I was painting.

04:35 Yes. - And I got a scar on my finger.

04:38 Yes. - Yes.

04:40 You came from Faisalabad.

04:42 I came from Munnapur, sir.

04:45 I got a scar on my finger that I got a slap.

04:48 And I told him to call Gala.

04:51 Yes. She was in a faraway city.

04:54 She had been given a palace.

04:56 Yes. - Yes.

04:57 And I had to go inside after asking her.

04:59 Exactly. He used to take written permission

05:01 that I can meet you.

05:03 Tell me. I forgot everything after dying.

05:05 She had a scar and Sueena had cut it.

05:09 No. I told him to get a bandage.

05:11 Yes. - I said, "No need to get a bandage."

05:13 "My wife Gala came."

05:14 Yes. - "She cut my scar."

05:16 Exactly. - I said, "Absolutely right."

05:18 Yes. - She was very beautiful.

05:21 No, she wasn't beautiful.

05:22 I married her in a family of fools.

05:24 Her talks were strange in their place.

05:28 But among the great artists,

05:30 she was one of the few

05:33 who were so fond of money.

05:36 Yes. - She was so fond of it.

05:38 She was so fond of it. Not you.

05:40 You? - Yes.

05:41 But I am an educated man. Why should I sit here?

05:44 Okay. Day and night..

05:47 You can make a showroom too.

05:49 What is the use? You can make a room too.

05:52 The funny thing is

05:54 he used to make so many paintings for money.

05:57 Yes. He was not a bad artist.

05:58 He was a painter by nature.

05:59 I made so many paintings, son.

06:03 I am the Akram Rai of painting.

06:05 What is the name of the most famous painting?

06:08 'Tampis Pegal Rai Jide Chudh.'

06:10 'Tampis Pegal Rai Jide Chudh.'

06:14 'Tampis Pegal Rai Jide Chudh.'

06:15 Yes, he is right. He is absolutely right.

06:18 'Zatoon Da Drakht Bilkul Khatam Ho Gaya.'

06:20 'Khatam Ho Gaya.'

06:20 'Time Khatam Ho Raha Hai, Tarakki Rukhi Hai.'

06:23 Look at those paintings.

06:24 Wow!

06:26 The funny thing is

06:29 the people who used to work for him

06:32 used to say that they didn't have any salary.

06:34 If the paintings were sold,

06:36 they would be given a commission.

06:38 He thought that he was saving his salary.

06:40 Yes.

06:41 When his paintings were sold,

06:43 he got such a big commission

06:45 that all his apprentices became millionaires.

06:48 I hope they don't make me a millionaire.

06:50 He liked it so much

06:53 that when he used to sit in the car, he had a phantom.

06:56 He used to take out the window.

06:57 That's enough.

07:00 I kept it raw. I didn't eat it.

07:02 Okay. The phantom in the car is a big car.

07:06 It's a cauliflower.

07:08 It was full of cauliflower.

07:09 It had a place to sit.

07:11 And it used to roam around the city.

07:12 Explain this.

07:13 I used to go to Malayalam.

07:14 'Tadha Gopi Jai.'

07:16 Anyway, I thought you would open it and take it.

07:18 It's a gas. You can't eat it.

07:20 Actually, I liked the cauliflower flower.

07:24 That's strange.

07:26 I used to go to the market and buy all the cauliflower.

07:30 You used to eat free food in the restaurants.

07:33 What was the trick?

07:34 I was a painter. People would feed me.

07:36 But you still charged for it.

07:38 I used to eat in big hotels.

07:40 When I used to bring the bill, I didn't pay cash.

07:43 You used to pay the check. - I used to pay the check.

07:45 And I used to make my painting behind the check.

07:47 They didn't pay cash. They used to frame it.

07:49 Wow.

07:51 I used to get my moustache shaved.

07:54 First, I used to get my moustache shaved.

07:56 It didn't work.

07:58 I used to open my eyes and paint.

08:00 I think he doesn't sleep either. His eyes are out.

08:03 What happened? - What happened?

08:06 Tiddi. He was scared of Tiddi.

08:09 I think his eyes are out too.

08:11 Leave him.

08:14 Leave him.

08:16 I'll tell you something. - Yes.

08:18 I saw his hand. His eyes stopped.

08:20 He didn't sleep at night. - Yes.

08:23 When you don't sleep, you'll be in deep sleep. - Yes.

08:26 He used to hold a bunch of keys in his hand.

08:29 Yes.

08:29 And he used to flip an iron pot and put it on the floor.

08:33 Yes.

08:34 He used to put his hand on it, hold the handle

08:37 sit on the chair and sleep.

08:39 As soon as you start seeing

08:42 you start dreaming.

08:46 As soon as you fall asleep, you let go of the handle.

08:49 It used to shake.

08:51 It used to shake.

08:52 Get up. You're going to start dancing.

08:55 You didn't sleep at night. - Okay.

08:57 You kept struggling.

08:58 As soon as he got up, because he used to wake up

09:02 he started painting what he saw.

09:04 He was a funny guy.

09:06 He used to have funny talks. - Okay.

09:08 He used to make jokes behind the matchbox.

09:11 Tell us a joke.

09:14 There was an angel. - Okay.

09:16 And there were three angels.

09:18 He made his apprentices sit. - Yes.

09:23 He said, "Listen to me, son."

09:25 "You shouldn't be afraid of perfection"

09:28 "or greatness"

09:29 "or perfection."

09:33 He said, "I don't know what else to say."

09:37 He said, "I know you won't reach there."

09:40 People like him were addicted to drugs.

09:45 Once someone asked him if he was a drug addict.

09:48 He said, "I never take drugs."

09:50 "I'm a drug addict."

09:51 Wow! - Wow!

09:53 Look at this.

09:54 I feel like I'm getting a bug bite.

09:58 Yes, he's a drug addict. - He's already dead.

10:01 Just imagine.

10:03 There should be a standard for humans. - Yes.

10:06 He even made posters for movies.

10:08 Wow! - Yes.

10:09 He even made a wrapper for a candy.

10:12 Yes. - Yes. - He did everything for no reason.

10:15 He's taking the relations of the stars of the world.

10:17 He never left anything.

10:20 Money. - He just wanted money.

10:22 He was so greedy.

10:23 His friends named him Aveda Dollars.

10:27 Aveda Dollars. - Free for Dollars.

10:29 Sir, he's the Nawaz Anjali of our area.

10:31 He's a street-smart guy.

10:35 He's got a sharp eye.

10:36 Why? - His eyes are out.

10:38 What's the problem with his eyes?

10:42 He's got a problem with his eyes.

10:44 Once he had to give a speech.

10:47 He thought that he'd wear a suit of the era

10:51 which was closed with a wrench. - Oh.

10:54 He wore a wrench suit and closed himself

10:57 and came in front of the audience.

10:58 He thought he'd wear that suit and give a speech.

11:01 There was no oxygen inside. - Yes.

11:03 There was no cylinder.

11:04 So, he started suffocating.

11:06 He asked him to open it.

11:08 What's this drama?

11:10 I'm here.

11:13 I'm Mr. Marchalla. - Yes.

11:15 I'm Cleopatra.

11:17 A boy opened it with a wrench.

11:21 Oh. - He died.

11:23 I think that's the reason. - Reason?

11:25 He used the wrench too much.

11:27 Why? - His eyes are out.

11:29 He was a hunter. Why did he kill him?

11:32 Reason? - His eyes are out.

11:34 (audience laughing)

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