00:00 I really do I wish I could have myself at that time and just
00:02 tell her
00:03 that everything will be OK.
00:05 >> My name's Natalie King after my husband's death I went
00:13 through addiction now I am 5 years in recovery and I'm here
00:18 to tell my story.
00:19 After my husband's death I was prescribed Xanax pretty much
00:27 right away I got addicted to that fairly quickly.
00:31 That's when my whole life started to change I tried to
00:35 get Xanax any way that I could Xanax numbed me it numbed my
00:40 feelings and it made the days go by faster because I thought
00:44 that's what I needed I was trying to push away all that
00:48 all the grief and the memory and I remember one rehab I went
00:52 to I met a person there he introduced me to some friends
00:56 of his and they were meth addicts and I started hanging
01:00 around those people and eventually I too got addicted
01:03 to that I signed custody of my son over to my parents once I
01:08 did that I had no care in the world my mom told me she didn't
01:12 think I would make it out of my addiction. I had to use the
01:16 methamphetamine during the day to help me wake up because I
01:20 was so hung over and groggy from the Xanax the night before
01:25 so I got this vicious cycle. I was at my rock bottom and I
01:29 knew that I wouldn't survive much longer if I continued this
01:33 way.
01:33 I met this guy named Justin online and he knew me because he
01:47 knew my husband and that my husband died, but he didn't
01:50 know a lot about he didn't know I was on drugs or how bad it
01:54 was so when I met him he he noticed right away that some
01:59 that I was on something and he told my parents I want to help
02:02 get her sober.
02:04 I know she's a good person and I know she doesn't want to live
02:07 this way.
02:08 Justin got me off methamphetamine first within a
02:12 week that was out of my system. It was a really hard with
02:16 draw it was really painful.
02:18 But I got through it Xanax on the other hand was a lot more
02:22 difficult you can't just stop Xanax completely cold turkey,
02:27 you can it's very dangerous you have seizures and you can even
02:30 die and it took me 2 years to fully taper off of Xanax my
02:36 official clean day is February of 2018 finding love again when
02:43 I was not expecting it gave me a lot of hope it gave me hope
02:47 for the future. I didn't have any of that when my husband was
02:51 killed it felt like my whole life and.
02:53 I tried to commit suicide twice my addiction that was probably
03:00 the lowest points just feeling like you didn't matter. I don't
03:05 know who that person is anymore I
03:08 I don't feel that way anymore.
03:11 I wish I could go back in time and give that person a hug.
03:15 I really do I wish I could have myself at that time and just
03:19 tell her that everything will be OK.
03:21 ♪ ♪ ♪
03:26 (gentle music)
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