Jim Jefferies: Bare Bande-annonce (EN)

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Transcript

00:00 [no audio]

00:07 The only thing you know for sure on this earth is you exist.

00:10 Anything past that is open to interpretation.

00:14 Right now, I think I'm in Boston talking to 1200 people.

00:18 But there is a good to fair chance that I'm in a mental home

00:21 standing in front of a white wall

00:23 [laughter]

00:24 going "mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm"

00:30 [laughter]

00:31 You and I!

00:33 Women, the reason that men like fucking you in the ass

00:37 is because we know you fucking hate it.

00:40 [laughter]

00:41 Raising a baby is not that hard.

00:43 It's easier than a coke habit.

00:45 To all the girls who take a load on their face, may I say bravo.

00:49 Americans always go, "I'm a responsible gun owner,

00:52 I keep my guns locked in a safe."

00:55 Then they're no fucking protection!

00:57 Someone comes into the house, you're like, "Wait there, fuckface.

01:01 Oh, you've come to the wrong house here, buddy boy.

01:06 I'll tell you what, I'm gonna fuck you up."

01:10 What happens if your girlfriend's away and the dog dies?

01:12 You buy another dog.

01:14 What happens if the baby dies?

01:16 Very hard to get a baby that looks exactly the same.

01:20 Easier if you're black or Asian.

01:23 I'm not saying 'cause they look the same,

01:26 I'm saying 'cause they're easier to purchase.

01:29 [laughter]

01:30 [music]