Brooklyn NineNine 5x9 REACTION 99
Brooklyn NineNine 5x9 REACTION 99
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00 What is going on there citizens of the reject nation?
00:02 We're going to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine today,
00:05 something episode 99?
00:07 Oh, episode nine, 99.
00:09 Okay, whatever. Yeah.
00:10 Leave a like on this video.
00:12 That would mean a lot.
00:13 Subscribe, click the notification bell to get notified
00:15 when our reaction for the next episode of the Nine is up.
00:18 You know about our Patreon.
00:19 We don't need to tell you about it.
00:21 Alrighty, let's get to it.
00:22 (upbeat music)
00:25 - Sergeant Terrence Jeffords.
00:29 Four years ago on this exact date,
00:31 you told me I was too old to learn how to do the worm.
00:34 (laughing)
00:36 - Check it.
00:37 (upbeat music)
00:39 - God damn.
00:43 - More fire.
00:45 (imitating gunfire)
00:47 - As I was telling the squad,
00:49 our old CO, Captain McGintley just passed away.
00:52 - Oh no.
00:52 (laughing)
00:55 - I'll have the travel details later.
00:56 - Hey, has anyone seen a worm?
00:57 Because this funky chicken's hungry.
01:00 - Charles, a man has died.
01:02 Read the room.
01:03 (laughing)
01:05 - Embarrassing.
01:06 Flat out embarrassing.
01:08 - Sad day.
01:09 - It's crazy how different things were
01:11 when McGintley was captain.
01:12 It's like the wild west.
01:14 - Oh yeah, we had some fun.
01:15 - I didn't.
01:16 In every one of those photos, I look uptight and worry.
01:19 - Whoa.
01:20 - Jake, am I too high strung?
01:21 - I wouldn't say you're too high strung.
01:23 You just are high strung.
01:24 You know, you're strung is what makes you strong.
01:26 You're strung strongly.
01:27 - So where's the party at?
01:29 - Trick question.
01:30 The party's right here, boy.
01:32 - Oh.
01:34 (laughing)
01:36 - Funerals are a meat market.
01:38 Sadness is a powerful aphrodisiac.
01:40 - No, it's not.
01:41 - Then how come everyone cries during sex?
01:43 (laughing)
01:45 - Commissioner's retiring next year.
01:46 They put a short list together of possible replacements
01:49 and you're on it.
01:50 This is your first interview.
01:51 - Really?
01:51 - Damn, dude.
01:52 - What's going on is Captain Holt has an interview
01:54 to become the commissioner of the frigging NYPD.
01:57 - Ooh.
01:57 - Who says I'm even interested in becoming commissioner?
02:00 - You, constantly, including the first day I met you.
02:03 - I'm interested in becoming commissioner.
02:05 - Good to know.
02:05 - Whoa.
02:06 - Wow, that was real.
02:07 - Please calm down.
02:08 - Right, totally don't wanna jinx it.
02:09 - I don't believe in jinxes.
02:10 - Great, then you won't mind me saying it's a lock.
02:11 You're definitely gonna get it
02:12 and you're gonna spell even better
02:13 with that Lord High Commander of All Justice stank on you.
02:15 Let's do this.
02:16 (laughing)
02:17 - This route is more direct.
02:19 - Oh, okay.
02:19 You do you, commish.
02:20 - Please don't call me that.
02:21 - Okay, fine, I'll just call you the mish.
02:23 No wait, mishy Elliot.
02:24 No wait, mish is Doubtfire.
02:26 Oh my God!
02:27 - Oh!
02:29 - What is it?
02:29 - Nakatomi Plaza.
02:30 (gasping)
02:33 The building from Die Hard.
02:35 Can we go in?
02:35 Can we pay our specs?
02:36 - Oh, our flight leaves in three and a half hours.
02:39 But it's like, what is time even?
02:42 Hashtag legalize it.
02:44 (laughing)
02:46 - Pull it over there, Argyle.
02:48 - What?
02:49 - That's the name of the driver in the movie.
02:50 We're going to Nakatomi Plaza.
02:51 There's gonna be role play.
02:52 (laughing)
02:53 - It's even more beautiful than I imagined.
02:55 - It's an empty floor that's under construction.
02:57 - Just like in the movie.
02:58 This is the floor that John McClane ran on
02:59 with his bare feet.
03:00 Take my picture with it.
03:02 (laughing)
03:04 (laughing)
03:05 - That's a good one, that's a good one,
03:06 that's a good one, that's a good one.
03:07 Okay, all 600 of these are great.
03:08 We should probably head to the airport.
03:10 All right, let's get out of here.
03:11 - Are you sure about that?
03:13 - The door is locked.
03:13 - That's strange, I thought the guard propped it open.
03:15 - I kicked my way out,
03:16 but I think these windows are bulletproof.
03:17 - Ah, we're not gonna get any reception in here.
03:19 - Why?
03:20 - Kick the door open.
03:22 - All right, everybody just calm down.
03:23 I'm sure that guard will be back in like five minutes.
03:26 - We're gonna miss our flight.
03:27 I should be sitting next to a semi-famous person
03:30 that I can't quite place right now.
03:31 - Come on.
03:32 (laughing)
03:33 - Which one?
03:34 - You guys okay up here?
03:35 - Yes, see?
03:36 I told you not to give up hope.
03:37 It's a miracle, we're still gonna make it.
03:39 Yeah, we missed our flight by a lot.
03:41 - Oh.
03:42 - Let's see, next flight, canceled, canceled, canceled.
03:44 What is going on?
03:45 - There are huge storms in the Midwest.
03:48 All flights are grounded.
03:48 - Oh. - Oh, man.
03:50 - But at least you're not gonna crash in a storm.
03:52 - Now we have until Monday morning
03:54 and it takes 48 hours to drive from LA to New York.
03:57 We've still got time.
03:57 - No, we don't.
03:58 - Woof.
03:59 - There are no available vehicles.
04:00 I'm just gonna have to call the commissioner,
04:01 cancel this meeting.
04:02 - No, not on my watch.
04:04 We just have to think.
04:04 There's gotta be a way to get you back.
04:06 Commandeer a vehicle.
04:07 - Got it.
04:08 - May I present to you the finest RV
04:09 that not much money can buy, the American Creeper.
04:12 (laughing)
04:14 - Let's get creepin'.
04:15 (tires screeching)
04:17 - Let's do this.
04:19 - They're already in Los Angeles.
04:20 Are they leaving Los Angeles?
04:21 - They're going from Los Angeles.
04:22 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:23 That's where the Nakatomi was.
04:25 - Yeah.
04:26 - Now I had to take a second too.
04:28 - So what are you gonna do when you're commish?
04:30 I think you should focus on interagency communication
04:33 and intel sharing.
04:34 Also, laser jails.
04:36 (laughing)
04:37 - Well, I'd like to see an increase in vacation days.
04:39 - And we should all get summers off like teachers.
04:41 Let the city go to purge.
04:42 - Yeah. (laughing)
04:44 - Dallas, what the hell?
04:46 We're supposed to be in Louisiana by now.
04:48 Damn it.
04:49 Speedometer's broken.
04:50 No wonder everyone was flipping us off.
04:51 I thought it was just racism.
04:52 - I'm sure it didn't help.
04:54 I'm sorry, I don't think we can make it with time.
04:55 - I feel like he doesn't wanna make it.
04:58 - From now on, we use the bathroom in the RV.
05:02 - No!
05:03 - There are so many of us.
05:03 - I know, I'm sorry, but it's the only way.
05:05 - Me first.
05:06 (laughing)
05:09 - You guys didn't hear that, did you?
05:11 - I'm still hearing it.
05:13 I'm never gonna stop hearing it.
05:14 (laughing)
05:16 - I'm not comfortable operating this vehicle
05:21 at a speed greater than the prevailing road
05:23 and traffic conditions.
05:24 - Fine, I'll do it myself.
05:26 - This is going great.
05:27 - Oh man.
05:30 - I definitely smell smoke.
05:31 Pull over right now.
05:32 - I checked everywhere.
05:33 Nothing's on fire.
05:35 Nothing's even smoldering.
05:36 We just wasted 10 minutes for no reason.
05:39 - Oh!
05:40 - We have to focus and think of a new plan
05:42 for getting Holt back for his interview.
05:44 - Well, perhaps we should just focus
05:45 on finding a place to sleep tonight.
05:46 - How far is it to Mansford, Texas?
05:48 - Like half an hour.
05:49 - Great, I have cousins there.
05:50 There's a Boyle in every state.
05:52 - Oh, jeez.
05:54 - Tommy, Becca!
05:55 - Becca is a man.
05:56 - Oh, thank you so much for letting us stay here.
05:58 - Galen Howard.
06:00 - I'd much rather be hanging out with you.
06:01 What are you doing, Boyle?
06:02 - Just bringing you some water.
06:03 - Thanks.
06:04 - So, who are you talking to?
06:07 Is that your mystery hunk?
06:07 - Babe, are you all right?
06:09 - Oh!
06:10 - Oh, yeah.
06:12 - I'm dating a woman.
06:14 I'm bi.
06:14 - Oh, that's great, Royce.
06:16 I just want you to know that I totally support--
06:18 - I don't wanna talk about it right now, okay?
06:20 Just leave it alone.
06:21 - That's not very Christian of her.
06:23 - No.
06:24 - I know you always hoped that you'd be commissioner.
06:26 - No, over the course of my career,
06:27 I've learned that it's best not to have hopes.
06:29 - It's like saying it's best not to have dreams.
06:31 - I only have one dream a year, always on tax day.
06:34 In it, I must file an extension.
06:36 [laughing]
06:38 Thank you for trying.
06:41 - But deep down, I always knew I'd never be commissioner.
06:44 - All my dreams start with my stepsister painting our house.
06:48 - And the house looking great?
06:50 - No, sex.
06:52 - Yep, you knew it.
06:55 - There's a huge fulfillment center there.
06:59 - There is?
06:59 - Yes, Charles, I called them and they shipped
07:01 their packages out of a regional airport.
07:03 - They do?
07:04 - That's too much, we'll be back off a little bit.
07:06 Point is, we get to fly on the back
07:07 of a cargo plane to Philadelphia.
07:09 - But we've been in these clothes since Friday.
07:10 We smell like butt.
07:11 - I guess we'll just have to borrow some.
07:12 - From who?
07:13 [upbeat music]
07:14 - Yes. - Yes.
07:15 [upbeat music]
07:16 - Killing it.
07:17 [upbeat music]
07:18 - No!
07:19 - Sleep, to Brooklyn.
07:21 - Yeah.
07:23 - We look so cool right now.
07:24 I feel like we're in a Mervin's commercial.
07:26 - I'm Mervin!
07:27 [laughing]
07:29 - Yep.
07:30 - Yeah, it's terrifying, but it doesn't matter
07:32 because we're almost to the airport.
07:33 [sirens blaring]
07:34 - Oh no. - What?
07:35 No, why?
07:36 Just because we're eight people
07:37 standing in the back of a cab?
07:38 - Oh, they look like illegals.
07:40 - We got a tip saying there were drugs
07:41 being moved in the back of a gray--
07:43 - Nevermind.
07:44 [laughing]
07:45 - It's a bovine berothel.
07:46 - Who called this tip in?
07:47 - It's impossible to say.
07:48 - They said the drugs are in the back
07:49 of a bovine transport unit.
07:51 Who calls it that?
07:51 - Everyone, that's what they're called.
07:53 [gasping]
07:54 - Damn.
07:55 - And you're the only robot I know, sir.
07:57 Bovine transport unit.
07:59 Meet more zeep.
08:01 [laughing]
08:02 - Let me see your phone.
08:03 I wanna see your call history.
08:04 - No. - Let me see it.
08:05 - No. - No, get out!
08:06 - Oh damn.
08:07 - 25 minutes ago, outgoing call to 911.
08:10 You sabotaged us, Mr. Robot!
08:13 - You called the pigs on us?
08:14 [laughing]
08:15 - The pigs.
08:17 [laughing]
08:19 - You drove by Nakatomi Plaza on purpose, didn't you?
08:21 And then you trapped us in there, didn't you?
08:23 - Fine, I did.
08:25 - Over here's an elevator where we cleaned
08:26 from the now empty--
08:27 - Yeah.
08:28 - Take my picture with it!
08:30 - And there were plenty of rental cars
08:32 at the airport, weren't there?
08:32 - Hundreds.
08:33 - And you--
08:34 [laughing]
08:36 - Did you blow up the creeper?
08:37 - Not on purpose.
08:38 - Ouch.
08:39 - I realized your revolting cheese puffs
08:42 were made with some extremely unstable chemicals.
08:44 I deposited a few in the gas tank.
08:46 I thought they'd shut the engine down.
08:47 I didn't realize they ignited.
08:49 [laughing]
08:51 - I made a decision a while ago
08:53 and now some people are holding it over my head.
08:55 - Oh yeah!
08:56 - Yes!
08:57 - I was wondering if that would ever come back.
09:01 - James Murphy, the gangster,
09:02 he offered me info that would get you and Rosa
09:05 out of prison in exchange for a favor.
09:07 - Oh my God, you did all of this for us?
09:10 I love you, Dapton.
09:12 - Dapton.
09:13 [laughing]
09:15 - Dapton.
09:18 - The first thing that you taught me
09:19 when you came to the Nine-Nine is that we're a team.
09:20 So your responsibility is my responsibility too.
09:23 - And mine.
09:24 - And mine.
09:25 - And mine.
09:26 - And mine.
09:26 - And my ex.
09:28 - Oh, Captain, my captain.
09:29 - Remember that time we went to the deli for cold cuts
09:31 and the ticket machine was broken
09:32 so you found out what time everyone arrived
09:34 and made them get in the single file line
09:35 from earliest to latest?
09:37 - Yeah.
09:38 - Higher.
09:38 [laughing]
09:41 - You might want to stand back for this, sir.
09:43 It can get pretty intense.
09:44 [grunting]
09:45 - Oh.
09:46 - Our union health plan has 100% reimbursement
09:48 for out of state ambulance rides.
09:49 Scully will fake a medical emergency.
09:51 - Don't need to fake it, always having at least one.
09:54 [laughing]
09:54 - Ambulance can drive 25 miles over the posted speed limits
09:57 so we'll get there by 9 p.m.
09:59 There's a small airport there,
10:00 but thanks to a loophole in HR-377551,
10:03 [laughing]
10:05 we'll land at an airstrip outside of Finksburg, Maryland.
10:07 We take a cab to Baltimore,
10:08 jump on the 6.40 a.m. train to New York,
10:10 arriving at 9.26.
10:12 Kevin will meet us at Penn Station
10:13 with a fresh captain's uniform.
10:14 From there, it's a 29 minute cab ride to One Police Plaza.
10:16 You change on the way,
10:17 we should get to your meeting in five minutes' spare.
10:19 - Geez.
10:20 - That was a monologue.
10:22 [clapping]
10:23 - Stop clapping, you idiots.
10:24 We gotta move, move, move.
10:26 - I love her.
10:27 - Also, bovine brothel, name of your sex tape?
10:30 ♪ Slave to Brooklyn ♪
10:33 - Yes, we did it.
10:34 - Yes, we did it.
10:36 - Peralta, thank you for not quitting on me.
10:40 - It was all him.
10:41 - Yep.
10:42 - Your first class mint.
10:45 I know how important this is to you.
10:47 - You know what really makes a trip first class?
10:49 - Terry, we don't really have time for a speech right now.
10:51 - Fine, your breath sucks.
10:52 Just pop it and go.
10:53 - Drink this instead.
10:57 - A mimosa.
10:58 - Aw.
11:00 - I'm sorry I was so nosy.
11:01 - Actually, it felt really good
11:02 to tell somebody on the squad finally.
11:04 - I'm glad it was you.
11:05 - All right.
11:06 - Aw.
11:07 - My hat is in the ring for commissioner.
11:09 - Yeah!
11:10 - I still don't know how we're gonna deal
11:11 with the Murphy complication.
11:13 - Laser jails.
11:15 - But you know, we'll figure it out.
11:16 - Nine-nine!
11:18 - Nine-nine!
11:19 - Nine-nine!
11:20 - There's always that very particular pronunciation.
11:26 - That was fun.
11:29 - That was fun.
11:30 - Wow, Rose is bisexual.
11:32 - This changes everything.
11:33 - So hot.
11:35 - That's right, man.
11:37 That's for us.
11:39 - But if a guy's bi, that means he's just gay.
11:42 - Yeah, that's true.
11:43 - That's what it is, right?
11:44 - Less of a man.
11:45 - They're just gay guys.
11:46 - They're just a gay guy.
11:47 - Just kidding.
11:48 - They're gay.
11:49 - Yeah, they're trying to be cool by liking chicks too.
11:53 - But no, they're just gay.
11:54 But women can be bisexual.
11:56 - But I encourage all women to be bisexual.
11:59 - They should.
12:00 I think all of them are.
12:00 - Yeah.
12:01 - That's what the internet's taught me.
12:03 - That's right, man.
12:04 It's good for women to be gay,
12:07 and it's unacceptable for men.
12:08 Tomato potato, you know what I mean?
12:13 - It's balls.
12:14 No, good for her.
12:17 - I'm happy for Rose. - That's fun.
12:18 - That's awesome.
12:19 - That's fun.
12:20 I'm sure she's a hot girl.
12:21 Wonder who the guest star will be.
12:23 - Oh yeah, let's take bets.
12:25 - Millie Bobby Brown.
12:26 - Sure.
12:28 Especially whenever this is made.
12:30 Definitely the right time.
12:33 - Oh goodness.
12:35 - Sissy Spacek.
12:36 - Definitely Sissy Spacek.
12:38 I'm going Halle Berry.
12:40 - So is she dating?
12:41 - No.
12:42 - No.
12:43 - No, she made out with Adrian Rodian
12:45 in front of her husband on stage at the Oscars.
12:47 She's not gay.
12:48 - Nope.
12:50 - Or can she play gay?
12:51 - No, she can't.
12:52 It's not possible.
12:53 She can't imagine what it would be like.
12:54 - I don't know who.
12:56 - It'll be...
12:57 - Erika Ferreira.
12:59 - It'll be Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly.
13:02 - Ooh, I love it.
13:03 - Both.
13:04 - No, that's good, man.
13:06 That's good.
13:07 She'd be a great bisexual lover, I'd imagine.
13:10 - Makes sense.
13:13 - That's fun.
13:14 But no, this is fun.
13:16 This is a real road trip episode.
13:18 This is truly a road trip episode.
13:20 And the fact that they had such good crunch time about it,
13:23 a lot of times road trip comedies can feel stretched out,
13:26 like the movies.
13:27 So the fact that this is only like a 20 minute show
13:30 forces them to really condense stuff
13:32 and they use it to great effect.
13:33 I thought it was really well-written
13:34 and I thought having the motif
13:38 of how much time is left on it
13:41 gives a good ticking time clock to it
13:42 and the reveals that came out.
13:44 I even love the reveal.
13:45 I love the way that reveal came out.
13:47 I mean, we knew what it was,
13:48 but it's been so long, I forgot about it.
13:51 That for it to come to the surface,
13:53 I was like, "Oh, that's why he sabotages."
13:55 I didn't even think about that.
13:57 - Yeah.
13:58 And that's a great additional layer
14:00 'cause it's one of those things
14:02 you can get an inkling for of like,
14:03 "Oh, maybe he doesn't want this for some reason."
14:05 Or, "Yeah, his heart's not in it."
14:07 But yeah, it's not that, it's a great opportunity.
14:09 'Cause it was a couple episodes ago or something,
14:11 I was like, "Wait a minute though,
14:13 "there's that whole thing
14:14 "where they made the deal and the leverage."
14:16 And yeah, then I completely forgot.
14:18 And I love the long game of that,
14:20 especially on a show like this, it's mostly episodic.
14:24 They work their serial elements
14:26 very nicely throughout this.
14:28 - And I thought the road trip bits
14:29 were actually really funny.
14:30 - Yeah.
14:31 - Nakatomi Plaza was a great,
14:32 the way that they still built a twist and turns around,
14:37 all the sabotaging was really well done too,
14:40 planting all these seeds.
14:41 And then when Holder was revealing all of it,
14:43 that was really well-constructed.
14:45 Some of that should have been,
14:47 but the Nakatomi Plaza one,
14:48 should have been able to see that coming.
14:50 - Oh yeah.
14:51 - Yeah, it's just like such a coincidence,
14:54 such a perfect lightning strike.
14:56 - 'Cause there was such an agreeable thing to him
14:59 when he said, "We have more time
15:00 "if you want to take more photos."
15:01 And there was such an agreeable thing when he said that.
15:03 - That's an odd year to use that a character.
15:05 - It seems like you should be in a hurry
15:08 to get to the airport regardless.
15:09 - But Andre Braugher was giving
15:10 the perfect performance for this.
15:12 And I loved all the boils too,
15:14 that was a really funny bit.
15:15 They just had some really funny hijinks
15:17 that were happening here, it was really funny.
15:19 I loved like, Scully go to the bathroom
15:20 and Terry being traumatized.
15:22 That was hilarious.
15:24 - RV blowing up 'cause of the cheese puffs.
15:26 - And like, Amy being chill is not that funny,
15:28 but the fact that she got to fully unleash at the end
15:32 and reach her maximum potential was great.
15:34 - Yeah, totally.
15:35 - That was excellent.
15:36 - That was a really fun episode.
15:37 - Yeah, I liked it a lot.
15:39 I feel very warm inside.
15:40 And yeah, I like that resolution of like,
15:42 don't let this, I mean, it's a dangerous choice, sure,
15:47 but also yeah, I mean like,
15:49 go live your dream and we'll figure the rest out
15:52 in real time as it comes, as it happens.
15:55 That family support feels like
15:57 it's been well earned over this time.
15:59 - Yeah.
16:00 - And just, yeah, I don't know.
16:03 I think you're absolutely right.
16:04 It's like, it's got all the benefits of a road trip thing
16:07 without doing the requisite part
16:08 of a lot of road trip movies where it really feels
16:11 like you've just been in a car a long time.
16:14 - Yeah.
16:15 - It's like you get to bypass that one element
16:18 that can sometimes drag these things down.
16:21 And yeah, it doesn't get bogged down by that.
16:23 - Just stick to the snappy energy.
16:25 - Yeah.
16:26 - And make use of the Nakatomi Plaza building
16:29 on whatever lot that building's on.
16:32 - Alrighty guys, well Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
16:34 another episode down.
16:36 How many are in this season?
16:38 - 20 some odd.
16:39 - And we call it a week after that.
16:42 - Yeah.
16:43 - Take a breather and still no Gina.
16:45 - Still no Gina.
16:46 - She would have held this episode back.
16:50 - Most certainly.
16:50 - By so much.
16:52 - She would have ruined everything.
16:54 - I'm not missing her.
16:55 - That's kind of a weird sign.
16:56 - It is strange.
16:57 I mean, I'm curious what it'll be like when she comes back.
17:01 But thus far--
17:01 - Then I'll be like, oh, I missed her.
17:03 - Yeah, sure.
17:05 It'll be that.
17:06 It'll be like, I'm glad to have her back,
17:07 but also I haven't, I would be lying if I said
17:10 like these episodes have felt like anything was missing.
17:13 - Yeah.
17:14 - Which I feel bad about 'cause there are some,
17:16 I remember Gina was like the slowest character
17:19 for us to get on board with,
17:20 but has had some hilarious moments.
17:22 But at the same time, she often seems
17:25 to be weaving between plots.
17:27 - Yeah.
17:29 - I don't know, I was curious.
17:30 We'll see when they bring her back.
17:32 - All righty, guys, well, leave your thoughts down below.
17:34 Tell us your nitpicks.
17:36 We'll talk with you all soon.
17:37 (upbeat music)
17:40 (upbeat music)