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BetaSeries
  • il y a 2 ans
Transcription
00:00 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:06 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:13 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:14 - We have a very special guest.
00:15 - Get excited! Come on!
00:17 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:18 - Please welcome...
00:20 Jon Pettis.
00:22 (acclamations)
00:24 - Thank you.
00:25 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:26 - Don't you have like a billion dollars
00:27 that you're doing doing specials?
00:29 You have everything to lose.
00:31 - You're doing stand-up. They need more white men.
00:33 I heard them say that.
00:34 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:35 - I said to my daughter,
00:36 "I don't know if I can do this.
00:37 I'm getting really nervous."
00:38 And she goes, "Then don't do it, Dad!
00:40 Don't do it!"
00:41 (laughter)
00:43 It's amazing I can draw a crowd, isn't it?
00:45 If I'm walking down the street and somebody says,
00:47 "Are you Judd Apatow?"
00:49 If I say no, they go, "All right."
00:51 (laughter)
00:52 I watch that show "Hoarders,"
00:53 and I root for the hoarders not to throw out their stuff.
00:57 (laughter)
00:58 I'm like, "Don't throw out that birdcage!
01:00 You might get a bird!"
01:01 A lot of people smoke pot with their kids.
01:04 This is what happens. You turn 18,
01:05 and suddenly your parents are like,
01:07 "Hey, we can be friends now!
01:09 The truth is, I love cocaine!"
01:12 I'm not sure how long I want to live.
01:13 I don't want to be sick.
01:14 I don't want to be all messed up.
01:15 If there's any doubt, pull the plug.
01:18 If they say we're not sure, pull it.
01:22 Just err on the side of too early.
01:25 If they say I'm going to pull through, pull it.
01:27 (laughter)
01:29 ♪ ♪ ♪
01:34 ♪ ♪ ♪
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01:36 ♪ ♪ ♪
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01:38 ♪ ♪ ♪
01:39 ♪ ♪ ♪
01:40 ♪ ♪ ♪
01:41 [SILENCE]