"What A Mouth!"
Burt Shepard
Victor 4991
R. P. Weston song
Harry Champion used to sing this--a favorite Cockney Song
Tommy Steele recorded it in 1960
Jimmy Banks would be a handsome feller
If he had another face and a different smeller
But his mouth queers him from winning in a beauty show
For it looks just like a steam-boat funnel
Or a railway arch or the Blackwall Tunnel
And you can't see Jim when he opens it wide, you know
And when poor Jim goes walking about
You can hear kids all hollering out
What a mouth, what a mouth, what a North and South.
Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got.
When he was a youngster, oh Lord Lovell, why,
his poor old mother used to feed him with a shovel.
What a gap! Poor chap! He's never been known to laugh.
For if he did, it's a penny to a quid that his face'd fall in half.
Though his great big mouth it ain't all honey
He can whisper in his own ear--ain't it funny?
But to lay the dust he has to drink a lot, oh my.
And he got so tight one foggy morning
That he laid down flat in the roadway yawning
As a poor old man was delivering coals near by
And as he went to shift the load
He saw Jim's mouth out in the road.
What a mouth, what a mouth, what a North and South.
Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got.
The coalman, an old short-sighted feller, saw
his mouth wide open and he took it for the cellar.
And he shot the lot right into his mouth, no joke.
For Jim, poor soul, got a tummy full of coal.
And he coughs up lumps of coke!
In the tap room of the Rose and Thistle
Jimmy often has a try to wet his whistle
But he can't succeed until he's has a hundred pots.
First a hundred pots of beer he'll swallow.
Then as all his teeth at the back are hollow he
can still find room for a dozen or so rum hots.
A new barmaid came there one night.
She saw Jim's face and yelled with fright.
What a mouth, what a mouth, what a North and South.
Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got.
He opened it wide and the barmaid hollered
For the pewter pot he had accidentally swallowed.
It was hot. That pot soon melted and now
he sits down by the fire with a little bit of wire.
And he hooks up two bob bits.
Jimmy Banks in bed one night was snoring, and
the neighbors round thought a lion was roaring.
And the old Dutch clock that was hanging on the bedroom
wall from the nail fell into his big mouth wallop.
Jim woke and yelled, "Go for Doctor Jalap." Said his wife,
"No fear! You have swallowed the clock, that's all." And now
the people (isn't it fine?) look down his throat to see the time.
What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South
Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got
The works of the old Dutch clock keep whizzing
In his rum-tum-tummy like a lot of sherbet fizzing
And his wife, what strife, can't sleep of a night, that's right
Cause against his tum she can hear the pendulum
Going tock-tock-tick all night.
Burt Shepard
Victor 4991
R. P. Weston song
Harry Champion used to sing this--a favorite Cockney Song
Tommy Steele recorded it in 1960
Jimmy Banks would be a handsome feller
If he had another face and a different smeller
But his mouth queers him from winning in a beauty show
For it looks just like a steam-boat funnel
Or a railway arch or the Blackwall Tunnel
And you can't see Jim when he opens it wide, you know
And when poor Jim goes walking about
You can hear kids all hollering out
What a mouth, what a mouth, what a North and South.
Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got.
When he was a youngster, oh Lord Lovell, why,
his poor old mother used to feed him with a shovel.
What a gap! Poor chap! He's never been known to laugh.
For if he did, it's a penny to a quid that his face'd fall in half.
Though his great big mouth it ain't all honey
He can whisper in his own ear--ain't it funny?
But to lay the dust he has to drink a lot, oh my.
And he got so tight one foggy morning
That he laid down flat in the roadway yawning
As a poor old man was delivering coals near by
And as he went to shift the load
He saw Jim's mouth out in the road.
What a mouth, what a mouth, what a North and South.
Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got.
The coalman, an old short-sighted feller, saw
his mouth wide open and he took it for the cellar.
And he shot the lot right into his mouth, no joke.
For Jim, poor soul, got a tummy full of coal.
And he coughs up lumps of coke!
In the tap room of the Rose and Thistle
Jimmy often has a try to wet his whistle
But he can't succeed until he's has a hundred pots.
First a hundred pots of beer he'll swallow.
Then as all his teeth at the back are hollow he
can still find room for a dozen or so rum hots.
A new barmaid came there one night.
She saw Jim's face and yelled with fright.
What a mouth, what a mouth, what a North and South.
Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got.
He opened it wide and the barmaid hollered
For the pewter pot he had accidentally swallowed.
It was hot. That pot soon melted and now
he sits down by the fire with a little bit of wire.
And he hooks up two bob bits.
Jimmy Banks in bed one night was snoring, and
the neighbors round thought a lion was roaring.
And the old Dutch clock that was hanging on the bedroom
wall from the nail fell into his big mouth wallop.
Jim woke and yelled, "Go for Doctor Jalap." Said his wife,
"No fear! You have swallowed the clock, that's all." And now
the people (isn't it fine?) look down his throat to see the time.
What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South
Ker-i-key! What a mouth he's got
The works of the old Dutch clock keep whizzing
In his rum-tum-tummy like a lot of sherbet fizzing
And his wife, what strife, can't sleep of a night, that's right
Cause against his tum she can hear the pendulum
Going tock-tock-tick all night.
Categoría
🎵
Música