Dating help
  • 6 years ago
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My worst dating experience began promisingly. I'd met a guy online — he was interesting and good-looking, and we had great conversations. When he asked me out, it was a no-brainer, and when we met, he actually looked better than he did in his profile photos. He was smart, funny and had a great job. Midway through our date, his phone started buzzing. It was his wife. Supposedly they'd separated very recently, but he was still living in their house and she very much thought their relationship was intact. No doubt you have a terrible dating story or many stories of your own. Even after that terrible date, my friends and family told me I was being too picky, and that unless I relaxed my standards, I'd never get married. Ultimately, I decided that was ridiculous. If I was looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, why wouldn't I be as choosy as possible? So I began and their behaviour on dating sites. What I discovered surprised me, to say the least. It also led me to my husband. Here are my top 10 tips for online dating based on my experience. Make a wishlist Develop a strategy before you begin. What, exactly, are you looking for? Create a shopping list and be as specific as possible. Say that you want someone who wants two kids, about three years apart and is willing to go through fertility treatments with you should pregnancy become a problem. Part of making your list is defining what you want. Keep score Once you've thought of all the traits you want in a mate, prioritise them. Think about the characteristics in the context of previous relationships, your friends and your family. Develop a scoring system. Decide the lowest number of points you'll accept in order to go out on a date with someone. This is basically developing a handcrafted algorithm, just for yourself. Get online Pick a few websites to use. People who use tend not to be looking for long-term relationships. It's OK to use two or three sites at a time. Bear in mind that you'll want most of the features activated, and that some sites can be expensive. Go shopping For the most part, dating sites aren't doing anything particularly mysterious. Sites mostly create taxonomies and match users based on their answers. In some cases, sites look at the gap between users' answers and their behaviours. For example, you might say that you prefer a very tall man with dark hair who is religious, but mainly click on profiles for shorter atheists. The algorithm in that case would try to match you according to your behaviour. But maybe you're clicking on all of the profiles, even those that don't match your preferences, or sitting next to your sister, and she's also looking for a boyfriend — one who's short and blond. In that case, the algorithm won't work either. It's best to treat dating sites as giant databases for you to explore. Keep your profile short Long profiles typically didn't fare
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